Scout VS Jonesy

Scout VS Jonesey
Season 3, Episode 3
Vital statistics
Air date	Unknown
Written by	RatedMforMario
Directed by	RatedMforMario
Episode guide
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Scout VS Jonesy is the third episode of RatedM's Death Battle series' third season, featuring The Scout from Team Fortress 2 and Jonesy from Fortnite in a battle of popular FPS characters. The Scout would be voiced by Nathan Vetterlien (ChiliofDestiny).

Description

Team Fortress 2 VS Fortnite! Bullets will fly and blood will spill! Does the ol' cream of the crop stand a chance against this new hero from a modern generation? The answer's here, and it's gonna be a bloody one folks!

Interlude

FPS games have impacted the video game genre in more ways than other, sometimes for the better, and sometimes, not so much.

But every game has to have a recognizable protagonist, like the Scout, Team Fortress 2's witty hit-and-runner...

...and Jonesy, Fortnite's soilder protagonist.

He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

And it's our job to analyze their armor, weapons and skills to find out WHO would win a DEATH BATTLE!

Scout Batters Up for Death Battle!

In the year 1850, a super rich entrepreneur passed away, leaving his land to his family, and left land for his two sons.

However, the brothers began fighting over the land, much like brothers do, and they literally waged war on each other.

Both teams had a different mercenary, but only one of them was an expert speed demon. Enter The Scout, the witty hit-and-runner of the RED Team.

Scout: Grass grows, birds fly, and brotha', I hurt people.

The Scout is an expert at hand-to-hand combat, being able taking down the likes of The Heavy with little to no armor. But where he truly shines is speed. Scout can run up to 30 miles per hour, meaning Scout can run twice as fast as an ordinary human! Scout's also capable of avoiding Sentry Gun fire, even if it locks onto him! But speed alone is far from his only means of combat.

Yeah, the guy owns more guns than I do! He wields a pistol and he's surprisingly a good shot, with pin-point accuracy! He's also got shotguns, and he names 'em too! And by God are these guns fantastic!

(Boomstick's eyes begin to turn into stars upon seeing Scout's Scattergun)

He's got the standard shotgun, which means it doesn't do much, but it's certainly a classic! He's got the Scattergun, a shotgun that holds 3 times more ammo than the standard shotgun! Also, it's great for close quarter combat but it's practically useless for long-range combat. (eyes turn to normal) Okay, that's ridiculous! How is it even possible for a gun to be bad at long-range?! I DEMAND TO TALK TO THE DESIGNER OF THAT WEAPON!

Boomstick, come on, I think it's a pretty good compromise. I mean, you get to shoot 6 times! 6! That's not a bad deal at all! Plus, I think you'll like Scout's other means of shooting.

If you say so...(mumble)

Scout's also got the Baby Face's Blaster, which, when it hits, gives him a speed boost. However, should Scout get hit, his boost will be reduced. But his best gun is his infamous trademark weapon, the Force-A-Nature.

Really? A lil' shotgun is his trademark weapon? Hey Scout, if you're watchin' this, take it from me: get a more original pick next time. I mean, a shotgun is already Elmer Fudd's signature weapon and then I made it my-oh. Never mind, trademark your weapon whatever you want...

Well Boomstick, that's where you're actually wrong. The Force-A-Nature is an incredibly useful gun! It's capable of killing a Soldier with the Battalion's Backup in two shots, and the Battalion's Backup grants Soldier 20 more health and mind you, the Soldier is already one of more the tougher classes of the mercs! Furthermore, the Force-A-Nature can kill an overhealed Demoman and Pyro in two shots as well!

God, look at all those corpses...I want...no...I NEED one...

That's not all the Scattergun can do, it can also let Scout fly backwards after it's fired, effectivley giving him a third jump, since he's able to double jump after all.

God...I gotta find this somewhere...too bad it's fictional...

Oh don't worry Boomstick, I'm sure if you look hard enough, you'll be able to find one...

(Wiz winks at the reader/viewer)

Scout's got a ton of guns, but he's also a big baseball fan and so he decides to use a pop fly to take out freakin' bomb wielding Demos, rocket launchin' Soldiers, and humongous Heavies! That guy is f*ckin' insane!

One of Scout's most notable bats is the Sandman Bat, a bat that does as much damage as the normal one, but Scout can throw baseballs at his enemies to slow them down. The farther Scout is from the enemy, he can slow them down for 7 seconds. The Boston Basher is a bat that's covered in spikes and blood and can make an enemy bleed and lose health for 5 seconds but if Scout misses the target, he'll have to take the bleeding himself.

He's also got his precious Bonk! Atomic Punch, and when he drinks it, hoo boy, you best watch yourself!

When Scout takes in this dangerous drink, Scout's speed goes up to around Mach 120, as shown for his bullet-timing!

Scout's got a pretty big arsenal, but that doesn't mean he can't do anything himself! We've established he's already a fat mother-effer, but he's pretty durable too!

That's true, in Meet the Medic, he survived three rockets from enemy Soldiers and was already injured! Given how Scout was in the epicenter of the blast, he should have tanked the entire blast of the rockets, and according to our research, the entire blast should be 2 tons of TNT!

And they consider Scout the weakest class in durability?! This guy's unstoppable! He even killed a freakin' bear with the skeleton of Amelia Airheart!

Don't go praising him too much now though. Scout may be quick, but he's traded that for strength and durability, he's not much of a genius and much like his personality, he's reckless and runs headfirst into danger.

While Scout's certainly got his fair share of flaws, he's one quick son of a bitch, and as soon as you're wonderin' where he is, he'll be runnin' at ya with his bat!

Scout: Grass grows, birds fly, and brotha', I hurt people (Boink!). I'm a force a' nature (Bonk!) . If you were from where I was from, you'd be f*ckin' dead.

(we see Scout defeat the Heavy with one last fatal blow)

Scout: WOO!!

*(cue Team Fortress outro sequence with a closeup of Scout's face)*

Jonesy Default Dances into Death Battle!

In the world of Fortnite, a certain phenomenon happened that caused mankind to nearly go extinct. This, was the Storm, a vicious kind of gas that wiped out over 98% of the world's population. Then certain monsters started attacking the few people left and very few people made it out alive.

Yeah, this sounds all Walking Dead-like, but trust me, it's literally that but the monsters are even more dangerous!

Luckily, there were a few people that survived this apocalypse but they weren't just regular people. These were heroes, soldiers, ninjas, and-

Woah woah woah, wait so you're telling me that there's frickin' NINJAS in this universe?! I thought this place was all about shooting people and being the last one standing!

Well, see Boomstick, that's actually Fortnite's free-play mode. This is Save the World, basically Fortnite's Story Mode, in which these heroes have to group up to fight off these monsters.

Oh..that still doesn't make much sense but I'll roll with it!

Among these heroes was Sargent Jonesy. Not much his known about him other than the fact he was also in this apocolypse.

Yeah, that blonde boy's lookin' kinda giving me this smug look....I don't like it....

To survive in this hellhole, Jonesy had to get creative with his weapons and honestly? He did a pretty good job.

His main starting weapon is a pickaxe, capable of destroying trees, small sheds and even...metal? That's weird...

Jonesy also some pretty snazzy fire-arms, like his multiple Assault Rifles which can hold up to 30 rounds, multiple pistols that can also be dual-wielded, and an Uzi. Jonesy used these weapons to fight off the monsters. Do you think he could do it?

Honestly, Wiz, I feel like he'd be ripped to shreds. I mean, he's literally a human with an inventive mind sure, but there's no way he'd stand a chance against all those ugly monster freaks.

Well Boomstick, I find you'd be correct.... (starts to read over some papers)

Oh hey, great! You know, that really made my day Wiz, I was having a rough day today, you know, with my car breaking down, squirrels calling me names and such. It really feels nice to-

...if it weren't for one special ability he has.

O-oh....

When Jonesy was fighting off the monsters, he can somehow manage to build walls and giant ladders as defense. Look Boomstick, it's ridiculous on how high he can stack that stuff!

Jonesy's arsenal doesn't stop there though. He also has Shield potions, which if he drinks, gives him a boost in durability! He's strong enough to tank some bullets on these things!

Jonesy would help lead the fight against the monsters, help save humanity, and carry the banner of victory with one certain dance.

Ooh, ooh! I know it! (to the tune of the Default Dance theme and starts doing the default dance) Eh, de-de-de-de-de, boom, de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de, na na na na!

(looks at Wiz happily)

Eh?

Boomstick...please never do that again.

Well, Jonesy may have some pretty sweet dance moves, but he's not perfect. For one, remember those buildings he can create? Yeah, they apparently can be destroyed and if Jonesy's at the top of a really tall ladder and someone destroys the bottom? Uh...woops!

His shields aren't a total quick fix either. Should Jonesy take enough damage, he'll lose this durability and will still be damaged by bullets he would take otherwise.

Yeah, and the guy lacks viable hand-to-hand combat skills. Like, if you take away his weapons, he's not gonna be able to do much. But hey, he's been able to protect the world from threats later on!

Years passed, and the world was in trouble again for what can only be known as the Volcano Event. Jonesy and his...giant bananna friend, Peely, ran into a shelter to survive the event and luckily they did! The shelter had a DJ set, a disco dance floor and such. But when Jonesy and Peely opened the fridge, they found....nothing.

Ha! See how you like it, Fortnite boy!

Years passed, and when a couple of new modern age heroes opened the Shelter, they found Jonesy. Except with a beard, and was drinking Peely. When Jonesy saw the new world, he was shocked. It was Jonesy that paved the way for these new heroes, and that alone should mean one thing.

Jonesy's one tough, mean, dancing machine!

Jonesy: (does the Default Dance)

Interlude

All right the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possiblities!

It's time for a DEATH BATTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!

Fight

We see the RED Team hanging out in their base. Not much is happening with the Mercs...Soldier was fiddling with his bucket, Pyro was starting and turning off a match, Engineer was playing his guitar, Medic was performing an experiment on Heavy, Sniper was carving a stick, Spy was smoking his cigarette and Scout was simply kicking back and relaxing. It seemed that the team was having a day off.

Scout: Man, it's so freakin' boring here. I know it's our free day, but you'd think something would attack us by surprise...

Spy then got out his chair and walked over to Scout.

Spy: Hmm...it's been rather quiet actually...even for this place....I think Scout could be-

BOOOM!

Suddenly, there was loud explosion that shook everything. The mercenaries got up to see what it was, but then Miss Pauling came onto the speaker to announce to them what they heard.

Miss Pauling: Attention, guys! We've a foreign enemy approaching our base!

The Mercs (except Scout and Spy) groaned at the news, as they didn't want to leave during their day off.

Scout immediately jumped up with excitement and told his team:

Scout: Hey, uh, if you guys don't wanna go, I'll be willing to-

Before the Boston Born Merc could finish, Spy already said:

Spy: Scout, just go.

Upon hearing that, Scout grabbed his weapons and left the base. The other Mercs looked at each other and discussed.

Engineer: You think he'll pull it off?

The other Mercs looked at each other for a good five seconds before them all saying:

Everyone: Nah....

MEANWHILE, WITH SCOUT.....

We see Scout dashing through the base to make it to the battleground, only to find a blonde man standing holding a pickaxe. The man is actually Jonesy and tries greeting Scout, but the Boston Merc is already jumping at him bat in hand.

FIGHT!

Jonesy immediately dodges Scout's ambush and pulls out his pickaxe, leading to a clash between the two weapons. Both the fighters realize that their strength is about even, so they push each other in order to get their other weapons ready. Jonesy pulls out his Dual-Wielded Pistols and Scout pulls out the Shortstop. Both of the FPS-icons begin shooting like wild.

Scout: Hey knucklehead, you'll never hit me! I'm the fastest in the world!

Scout manages to hit Jonesy a few times, reducing his Shield. Jonesy tries to aim at Scout, but Scout's 'keep-running-around-like-a-mad-man' technique makes it near impossible for Jonesy to hit him. Scout then runs up to Jonesy and manages to hit him with his Baseball bat in the face.

Scout: Boink!

Jonesy then gets a hold of Scout and shoots him somewhere on his torso, making him bleed. Both fighters know their condition is critical so they both retreat. Jonesy starts to drink a Shield Potion while Scout looks around for a Medkit.

Scout: Dammit, dammit! Where the hell are they?!

By the time Scout finally finds one, Jonesy is already ambushing him with his shotgun but the Boston Born Merc manages to dodge the shots and pull out his Scattergun. The two then engage in another bullet brawl, hitting each other some more, but their weapons run out of ammo, leading to an awkward standstill.

Scout: So, uh, how you doin'?

Jonesy then tries to punch Scout, but the Merc takes the hit like nothing and punches the Fortnite Hero back. The two then start getting into a fist fight, but then Jonesy starts to run off, as if to retreat. Scout sees it as such and starts to gloat.

Scout: Yeah, like that, you rage quit! Do us both a favor and get outta here!

However, Jonesy decides to then build a wall to keep Scout away, as he builds ladders to climb up on. Scout's jaw drops seeing the Fortnite Soldier build things in a few seconds.

Scout: Yo, how the hell are you doin' that? I know a guy that can build useful shit in a few seconds but holy hell!

Jonesy then manages to get high enough to get a good view at Scout and pulls out a Sniper Rifle. Scout notices this and then tries to run somewhere to hide.

Scout: Aw what the hell, not these freakin' campers again...

However, while Scout's running, he notices Jonesy destroying some of his ladder to get to the ground. Seeing this, Scout starts to smirk and runs up the ladder towards him. While Jonesy is taking care of that, he sees Scout running towards him and pulls out his Sniper Rifle, aiming for his head. It all came down to this. Scout shut his eyes, Jonesy took the shot and....

Boom...

Jonesy looks on in shock to see Scout standing still, unaffected by the bullet. Scout then laughs at him.

Scout: HA! You should've seen the look on your stupid face!

Jonesy then tries to comprehend what just happened, but Scout explains to him.

Scout: See, this stuff's supposed to liquefy my intestines or some crap but uh...

Scout then pulls out his Sandman Bat right before he finishes his sentence.

Scout: It gives me a lil' boost...

Scout then starts beating Jonesy with the Sandman Bat, but then Jonesy pulls out his pickaxe once more, the two at a clash once again like when they started. They keep trying to get a hit for serious damage but they only manage to hurt the other barely. However, as they fight, Jonesy doesn't realize that he's actually destroying his wooden ladder. Scout then decides to end the fiasco by hitting Jonesy as hard as he can with his baseball bat to the face. Jonesy is knocked down but the two hear a loud rumble, making them question what it was. However, Jonesy uses the opportunity to grab Scout and throw both of them off of the tall ladder. They fall but Jonesy manages to pull out a glider and falls slowly.

Scout: Yo, toots, no fair! I don't got one of those!!

Scout then grabs ahold of the Fortnite Hero's leg, who tries to shake him off, but with their weight combined makes the glider useless. Scout then uses the opportunity to jump higher than Jonesy, and hit him in the head making him lose the glider. Jonesy then looks up and before he can react, it gets dark....

CRACK!

It turns out that while Jonesy was distracted, Scout pulled out the Boston Basher and hit Jonesy so hard that his head was split in two, and a mess of brains, wood and barbed wire.

Scout: ...and that's what I call a domination, pally!

The two then fall, with Jonesy's impact making a giant blood mess around him, while Scout lands on his face but meekly gives a thumbs up while saying:

Scout: I'm okay.

Scout then passes out before being found and carried back to the base by Heavy.

KO!

Conclusion

Wha...what the fu-?!

This match had us on the edge of our seats. It's certainly capable that Jonesy might have been able to pull off the victory a couple times but Scout just had way too many advantages to make that possibility less likely.

Yeah, for starters, Scout's definitely got the speed advantage. He's able to run twice as fast as a normal man, and Jonesy doesn't really show that kind of speed on his own. Also, Jonesy's equipment wasn't enough to keep Scout on his toes.

Popup: While Jonesy may be able to surpass Scout's speed with certain vehicles, it would require Jonesy to find those certain vehicles ahead of time.

Don't get us wrong, Fortnite's weapons are cool and all, but they aren't anything Scout's not familiar with, so anything Jonesy had wasn't able to surprise Scout.

Except for one: Building. This was probably the only advantage Jonesy ever really had over Scout but even Scout could just easily destroy the flimsy ladders by beating or shooting them.

Furthermore, Scout's usual running head first into battle actually paid off this time. If Jonesy needs to build something, he'd have to think about where to place everything but he wouldn't really get a chance to if he's being ambushed while doing that.

Yeah and Scout had him outclassed in durability as well. Jonesy doesn't really have many durability feats, hell, the closest we can do is count him surviving in that bunker for so long, while Scout was able to tank a 2-ton explosion and just barely make it out alive.

Popup: While Fortnite did have a black hole event, this is an outlier as Jonesy hasn't pulled off anything close to that level.

Scout's weaponry and arsenal outclassed Jonesy's as well. Jonesy may have some useful weapons like dual-wielded pistols and such, Scout had means to survive in order to either tire Jonesy out or even run Jonesy out of ammo with his Bonk! Atomic Punch. Both combatants are extremely talented and good at what they do, but the poor Hero of Fortnite couldn't keep up with Scout's weaponry, wacky antics and speed.

It looks like Jonesy wasn't able to strike him out.

The winner is The Scout.

Original Track

The track for this fight would be Last Mann Standing. It would be a high-energy rock piece to reflect the crazy natures of both combatants' home series with some jazz saxophone to represent Scout's ego with women.

The title is a reference to the main goal in Fortnite, in which victory is achieved via being the last player while also referencing the company and brothers that employ Scout (Redmond and Blutarch Mann).

The track cover is Jonesy's pickaxe and Scout's baseball bat along with a Shield potion and a can of Bonk! Atomic Punch in front of an explosion, with the explosion representing the craziness of their arsenal.

Next Time

We hear a telephone ring, and a man in a letterman jacket answers it.

....

"Aw shit, here we go again."

Trivia

• The connection between Scout and Jonesy is that both are popular protagonists from shooting games that have been very succesful when they released. Fortnite also has a team mode, which might be a reference to team-based shooters like Overwatch and Team Fortress 2.
• This is RatedM's third 'Hero VS Anti-Hero' themed Death Battle, after Batman VS Prowler and Aquaman VS Namor, with the next nine being Jotato Kujo VS Seras Victoria, Engineer VS Torbjörn, James Bond VS The Spy, Soldier vs. Pharah, Spawn VS Simon Belmont, Pac-Man VS Ghost Roaster, Joseph Joestar VS Quicksilver, The Pyro vs Mei, and Sonic (Movie) VS Harley Quinn (DCEU).
  • However, this is the first time the anti-hero wins.
• This was planned to have been done in an extended Season 2, however, RatedM decided to keep his seasons with five fights each.
• This is the first time where (a) shooting game character(s) is/are used for RatedM's Death Battle series.