Description[]
Two undead skeletons clash in a battle of the blades!
Interlude[]
(Cues Invader - Jim Johnston*)
Wiz: Death, once you experience it, you will never recover.
Boomstick: But death couldn't even bring down these two creepy skeletons. Scorpion, the specter of the Netherrealm.
Wiz: And Spinal, UltraTech's undead pirate.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Scorpion[]
Wiz: The Shirai Ryu is home to the many assassins and ninjas with natural skill and aptitude for stealth and the art of assassinations.
Boomstick: This clan was made out of pure spite for the Lin Kuei, just like how rival gangs show up in an alley and start flashing their gang symbols at each other.
Wiz: The Shirai Ryu is actually a splinter group that originated from the Chinese assassin group, the Lin Kuei. Founded by a former member called Takeda, he created the Shirai Ryu group after leaving the Lin Kuei.
Boomstick: But no one leaves the Lin Kuei, like what Sektor says, and no one leaves it...ALIVE!
Wiz: Deserting the clain is punishable by death, and death is the only verdict. After he escaped from the assassins sent to kill him, Takeda traveled to Japan and taught the arts of Ninjutsu, revealing many of their secrets. Thus, ninjas were born.
Boomstick: And Takeda died from getting poisoned by his drink. But this didn't stop the Shirai Ryu, and their numbers grew, one of them was named Hanzo Hasashi. Also known as Scorpion.
Wiz: Scorpion is a master ninja who got his nickname because of his tremendous skill with his Kunai tipped chain, or spear. He has mastered the art of stealth and has knowledge of atleast three hand-to-hand martial arts, including Hapkido, Pi Gua and Moi Fah. He has also mastered two sword martial arts which is Ninjutsu and Kenjutsu.
Boomstick: That was all before he met his tragic demise. Hanzo Hasashi was killed by the elder Sub-Zero during a mission that Quan Chi gave to both of them. They saw each other, and both were really triggered just by looking at their damn outfits (because the Lin Kuei hate yellow) and Sub-Zero beat the shit out of him before ripping his spine out.
Wiz: His soul fallen to the Netherrealm, Hanzo was tortured for a long time in the Netherrealm, until he was resurrected by the nefarious sorcerer Quan Chi, who bestowerd upon him the power of hellfire.
Boomstick: Reborn from the Netherrealm, Hanzo has given himself the name Scorpion because he feels like it, just kidding, because, I don't know, it sounds cool? He still had that name when he was a human so it doesn't make sense why his wraith persona is named like that.
Wiz: Anyways, with his power and control over hellfire, Scorpion has a versatile variety of using this newfound power. He can light himself up in it to burn nearby foes, throw balls of explosive hellfire, breathe/spit hellfire and summon it from below his opponent. He is also immune to the element.
Boomstick: His hellfire vaporizes his opponent and burns the soul, so don't expect to survive it if you ever get caught in those. Unless you resist the element.
Wiz: He has also gained the ability to teleport long distances for better mobility and can create portals to the Netherrealm. Kicking his opponent towards them usually results in them getting charred.
Boomstick: Thanks to the Elder Gods resurrecting his clan as undead warriors, Scorpion has the ability to summon them into battle. Some of them can summon hellfire like him too.
Wiz: His summoning abilities allow him to call a demon to assist him in battle by grabbing the opponent to set them up for an attack or strike them from multiple angles. These demons can self-destruct as well, and they are capable of vaporization. He can also summon giant floating skulls that breathe fire and spit out explosive skulls.
Boomstick: Immortals never die, truly die, and so does Scorpion. When he does however, he simply resurrects and comes back to life.
Wiz: The latest installment of Mortal Kombat, MK11, showcased a new ability. He has gained the ability to turn into a flaming skeleton that can phase through physical matter and vaporize if he wills it.
Boomstick: So he can become a skeleton now? Spooky...
Wiz: But Scorpion's resurrection can be put to an end by means of destroying his soul.
Boomstick: There's no way he can live through that! But it doesn't mean that he won't go down without a fight.
Scorpion: GET OVER HERE!
Spinal[]
Wiz: Spinal was once a bandit pirate in his previous life, sinking vessels and looting treasures. All this changed when he was recruited by a mysterious Babylonian vizier to do some dirty work.
Boomstick: Babylonian? Sounds like Kan-Ra to me. Anywho, Spinal and his mateys were hired to disrupt the city's flow of resources so that he can lessen the amount of riches that the Babylonian King received.
Wiz: However, the masterminds behind this scheme were found and brought to the king for judgement. They were sentenced to eternal punishment with a curse that twisted their bodies in brutal ways.
Boomstick: Imagine getting flayed, but slowly! That's gotta hurt. Moving on, Spinal's punishment was to be mind controlled by an artifact called the "Mask of the Ancients" which turned him into a slave that will always follow whatever the king says without hesitation. Even if the mission given to him is suicide.
Wiz: His mind no longer thought about anything rebellious and lost his free will. He grew insane after every dangerous task given to him that almost killed him. The king grew tired of him and ordered him to burn himself alive as penance for his crimes. His flesh did not remain, but his skeleton and will lived on.
Boomstick: But the king made sure that this guy isn't going to show up under his bed and spook the hell out of him by sealing his remains in a coffer and throwing the mask to the sea. That was close.
Wiz: But his willpower was strong enough to return and reform himself back to his bones and strengthened himself to break free from the coffer that he was sealed in. He set out to the world with only one goal: find the Mask of the Ancients.
Boomstick: Turns out he was already insane and thought about nothing but joy everytime he spreads chaos and havoc. Eventually, he found the mask in the hands of Ultratech's CEO (ARIA) but first, he had to join Mortal Komb...I mean the Killer Instinct tournament to wear the mask. He accepted the invitation and wore the mask, but it turns out the mask didn't give him any power at all.
Wiz: Realizing that something has drained the mask of its power, Spinal set out to find whoever did this while being an agent of chaos with his power over magic.
Boomstick: The time for spooking people and laughing like a maniac has come.
Wiz: Revived as an undead skeleton, Spinal wields a cutlass sword and a shield with magical properties.
Boomstick: Although insane, Spinal is no slouch in hacking, slashing and bashing his enemies.
Wiz: His magical shield has the unique property of being able to absorb projectiles into it and convert them into skull energy to shoot them at his enemies, making it a perfect defense against combatants who rely on projectiles for attacks. It's a two for one deal that protects Spinal from melee and ranged attacks.
Boomstick: Spinal has also demonstrated telekinesis in his KI2 Ultimate. He can use this to lift up opponents to the air making them vulnerable to his next attacks.
Wiz: Teleportation is also one of the few abilities he can use. By creating a green portal beneath him, he can quickly sink into it and reappear in another location to surprise attack enemies or evade attacks.
Boomstick: He can also summon skeletal hands which he can use to zone out enemies by punching them away or restraining them with a grasp.
Wiz: Spinal's skeleton physiology allows him to reform should his skeleton ever get scattered. Even if you cut him down to pieces, he just needs to recall his body parts and stick them together even though he lacks flesh.
Boomstick: While Spinal's a fierce and tenacious warrior, he is completely insane and this may hinder him in combat.
Wiz: But Spinal is not someone you should mess with, because he's a god damn undead skeleton pirate.
Spinal: Yaahahahahahaha!
Battle[]
The graveyard of ships is home to ghastly spirits and monsters of the deep. Faint images of the ships that once sailed along the waters that lined the coast appeared and disappeared as if they were ghosts. You can see an eye open on a massive boulder which turns out to be a resting kraken.
A green portal appears on the ground and a skeletal hand wielding a cutlass sticks out of it as the rest of its body regroups to their proper places. It was Spinal, the insane undead pirate with a one track mind: to find the Mask of the Ancients. He emitted a loud and horrifying screech before getting into a combat pose.
Scorpion, the spectre of the Netherrealm, rises from the ground with a fiery jump, lands down and performs a sword kata with his burning katana. He sees the undead creature and calls out to it.
Who are you?
RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Scorpion did not receive an appropriate response. He took that as a warning. A warning and an invitation to combat. He sheathed his katana and pulled out his kunai out of thin air and assumed a combat pose.
Come closer. The Shirai Ryu embrace danger.
FIGHT
Scorpion threw his spear at Spinal, but the undead pirate quickly blocked it with his shield and attempted to absorb it. Scorpion quickly realized what was happening and teleported away, bringing his spear with him. Spinal was confused and raised his shield and tries to anticipate where he would come out. He was taken by surprise, the spectre attacked him from behind and shattered his jawbone. Unfazed, the skeleton laughed and fired three skulls towards Scorpion.
The ninja swiftly danced around the projectiles and charged at Spinal with a punch. Spinal blocked the hit but was knocked backwards when the shield tanked it. He summoned two skeletal hands to grab and restrain Scorpion before commanding the hands to break Scorpion in half, then threw him away from Spinal. Scorpion was still alive and put himself back together. He then flew towards the skeleton like Superman and grabbed his neck before flying up and slamming him to the ground with a burst of hellfire.
He kicked away Spinal, shattering him and separating his bones. To his surprise, Scorpion saw the skeleton easily regroup his bones back together. He knew that slicing him apart wouldn't kill him. He concluded that hellfire could be a permanent way to kill the immortal pirate, as he wouldn't survive getting incinerated to dust.
Burning away his flesh, Scorpion turned into a fiery skeleton and dashed towards Spinal, incinerating the madman. He spawned his katana sword and performed an overhead slash followed by a quick thrust of the katana's handle to his face, but Spinal casually dodged it and rammed his head towards the ninja spectre, showing an X-Ray view of Scorpion's skull shattering.
Dazed by the attack, Spinal fired all five of his skull projectiles on the dazed Scorpion which knocked him into the air and left him vulnerable to his next attack. He used his telekinesis to slam him around then lands him on a spear. The ninja was impaled and tried to get out but Spinal lifted him up again with telekinesis and summoned two skeletal hands to punch him high up into the air. Spinal raised his sword and waited for Scorpion to land down.
At the last second, Scorpion got a hold of himself and quickly realized what was going to happen and with a thought, quickly teleported out of the way. The undead mercenary was confused and roared out to him, as if he were taunting him to come back and fight. A burst of hellfire spawned right next to him and Scorpion's fist emerged from the portal, shattering Spinal's jaw in slow motion.
The attack left him in pieces, but this was nothing for Spinal. He simply regrouped himself and laughed at Scorpion, while the ninja let out a loud demonic shout and burned away all of his flesh and clothes, turning into a fiery skeleton. With blinding speed, Scorpion dashed towards the enemy and phased through his body, burning Spinal in the process. Confused on how he managed to effortlessly pass through him, his answers arrived in the form of a demon grabbing his legs. Another demon and an undead Shirai Ryu member dragged him down to the Netherrealm where Scorpion awaited him.
Welcome to Hell.
Scorpion jumped up with a trail of hellfire and landed on top of a floating skull. He raised his arm and pointed at Spinal, commanding dozens of Shirai Ryu members to overwhelm him. Spinal managed to hold off the melee attackers but was having a hard time with the others who were hurling hellfire towards him. He automatically raised his shield and stuck his sword out, charging towards Scorpion while ramming through the demons and undead while absorbing their attacks.
The ninja was impressed that Spinal managed to get rid of his summons. He commanded the floating skull to focus fire on Spinal, and it opened its mouth wide and spat out a danmaku of explosive projectiles. Spinal was overwhelmed by the explosions and opened a portal beneath him to teleport away. He kept his distance and fired a barrage of green and blue skulls as they both tried to evade each others attacks.
Enraged, Scorpion did not want to waste his time. He let loose a demonic roar and revealed his flaming skull, then jumped down to face Spinal himself. Both of them roared as if they were wild animals fighting each other and hurled hellfire and magical skulls at each other. Spinal was having a great time as all he had to do was face the shield towards Scorpion and he can just absorb his projectiles, converting them into skulls to blast Scorpion.
He felt his strength increase as he stayed in his turf, and felt like it was time to end this in one swoop. Scorpion teleported away and commanded the undead Shirai Ryu to distract Spinal. Spinal was quickly overwhelmed and held down by demons and undead, pinning him to the ground.
Scorpion arrived in a burst of flames, walked towards the restrained Spinal and looked at him with an unholy stare.
This is the end of you.
K.O.![]
Scorpion lit himself up with hellfire before breathing on Spinal with a blast of hellfire, burning him into a crisp.
No, not a crisp. He vaporized him down to dust, and reduced his soul to nothing.
Results[]
Boomstick: Scorpion's hellfire was a permanent way of putting down the immortal Spinal.
Wiz: While both of them were immortal in their own ways, Scorpion's immortality is much better. Comparing Scorpion's resurrection to Spinal's ability to regroup his form, it seems like the latter was easier to bypass.
Boomstick: Spinal can take a beating and get his bones separated and still be alive, true. That's what helped him survive getting cut to pieces in the first place. Too bad he's not Kan-Ra, who can regenerate from being burnt to ashes.
Wiz: Scorpion's immortality is reliant on his soul, meaning that the complete destruction of physical body is irrelevant as he can just create another one and be on his way immediately.
Boomstick: Just like that one time Quan Chi booted the ninja into a pool of acid. Keep in mind that acid in the Mortal Kombat verse can do this:
Boomstick: So if you were to vaporize or disintergrate Scorpion, you should expect him to come after you. With a hissy fit and a flaming fist.
Wiz: Meanwhile, Scorpion held the advantage in physical stats alone. Spinal doesn't have much feats to scale to besides being able to harm fellow Killer Instinct characters who can summon massive meteorites. Take note that even small meteorites are capable of destroying an entire neighborhood.
Boomstick: Thing is, he's like Baraka and Reptile and he's never defeated anyone throughout his entire undead life. He's with Fulgore in the jobber section.
Wiz: Scorpion has taken hits from people who can create massive storms that are tens of kilometers wide and destroy entire temples such as Raiden and endure blows from Sub-Zero, who can freeze cities and entire buildings and shatter them in one punch.
Boomstick: He's got some pretty impressive speed feats too! He can keep up with Sub-Zero, a casual explosion dodger and laser timer as well. Scorpion can also go toe to toe with Raiden, whose moves are officially stated to be as fast as lightning itself!
Wiz: While explosions aren't really as fast as meteors, lasers are definitely faster than that.
Boomstick: Looks like Spinal just got toasted.
Wiz: The winner is Scorpion.
