Sans vs Saitama is What If? episode of Death Battle.
Description[]
Undertale Vs. OPM! These two may not look like very much of a fight, but the second they get serious, it's a bad time for you!
Interlude[]
Boomstick: You know what's god damn annoying? Lazy people who sit on there asses and do nothing. You know what's awesome? When they can kick ass!
Wiz: Like Sans...again...for, like, the 6th time...
Boomstick: And Saitama, the Caped Baldy.
Wiz: I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to find out would win, a DEATH BATTLE.
Sans[]
Wiz: This...is Sans.
Boomstick: Wow. Really?
(Cues Papyrus's theme)
Wiz: Yes. Sans the skeleton is the pun-loving, prank-loving, ketchup-loving, and lazy brother to Papyrus. He enjoys sleeping and like to mess with his bro.
Boomstick: And he's only got 1HP and 1ATK!? This guy's pathetic!
Sans: Who you callin' pathetic?
Boomstick: What the...
Wiz: Oh yeah...I invited him.
You musta' put a lotta...backBONE into it. (Cue drums)
Wiz: Anyways, he's the final boss of the Genocide route.
Boomstick: Ha! How easy is that?
Wiz: Take a look...
(Shows Sans beating the life out of Frisk)
Boomstick: ...Well. Holy sh*t.
(Cue Megalovainia)
Sans has powers over Gaster Blasters, a strange device that shoots a laser beam. He can summon about a dozen at a time.
Boomstick: He's also got a LOT of bones. As in, A LOT. Normal bones, blue bones, short bones, long bones...you name it.
Hey, did i mention I have telekinesis?
Boomstick: Teleki-what?
Wiz: Yes, with the power of the blue SOUL, he can throw the victim around like he's made of air.
Boomstick: Also, he can make bones come out of the ground. I'm starting to think he's a lot more competent then i thought...
Hey, did ya forget about the KARMA?
Boomstick: Nah, I don't like that stuff. Gets stuck in your teeth.
Wiz: Um, Boomstick? He means KARMA, not caramel.
Boomstick: Oh. I knew that. This stuff effects you by getting rid of your invincibility frames, thus making the whole 1ATK thing kinda pointless.
Wiz: It may seem that Sans is invincible. But really, he's not.
Boomstick: Not only does the guy go down in one hit, he kinda holds back a bit, thinking that it ain't worth putting all his effort into it because everything will just RESET.
Wiz: Plus, he's lazy.
Boomstick: Oh, also that.
Right. Hey, you forgot something...
Both: What?
I'm a beast on the trombone.
(Shows Sans on the trombone)
Saitama[]
Wiz: Saitama is a B-Class hero and the Main Protagonist of One Punch Man. He is infamous across the Internet for being comedically over-powered.
Boomstick: Really? He doesn't look that tough-
(Shows Saitama killing a monster in one punch)
Boomstick: -Holy sh*t! Nevermind!
Wiz: That's what I thought. Saitama's most basic attack is a punch. As you just saw, it's VERY powerful and can destroy pretty much anything in one hit. Well, almost anything.
Boomstick: And to those it doesn't kill, it still hurts like f**k. It's not just punching, though, as he can also do a headbutt and his kick is pretty strong, too!
Wiz: He's not just strength, he's also ridiculously fast. He can create after-images and is able to out-run Speed-O-Sound Sonic (not the Hedgehog). This means Saitama is faster then light...and mabye even faster then that.
Boomstick: And then theres his durability. OH BOY. He's pretty much impossible to kill due to tanking surface-busting lasers, 10-Story tall monsters, and even getting punched into the Moon, all of which he shook off like it was nothing.
Wiz: Speaking of his trip to the Moon, he was launched there via a hit from Boros. Not only did he survive with no major injuries, he also jumped back in a matter of 14 or less seconds. A trip to the Moon takes about 3 days on a rocket, so Saitama is waaaaaaaay faster then sound. And keep in mind that he survived the vacuum of space, too.
Boomstick: He has defeated nearly every enemie he encountered in one punch, moved fast enough to create after-images, tanked hits from planet-busters, and survived in Space...is this guy unbeatable?!
Wiz: He has his weaknesses, don't worry. He not only holds back MASSIVELY to get a fair fight, he's also kind of unskilled in fighting and is sort of simple minded and can get easly distracted.
Boomstick: Still, this guy could, over time, become one of the strongest Anime character out there.
Saitama: I'm just a guy who's a hero for fun.
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
One day in the Underground, Sans was taking a nap on his Hotdog stand when he heard a BOOM noise. Thinking it was Aphlys screwing up again, he teleports over to investigate only to hear another noise he never wanted to hear: the sound of a monster dying. A human was in front of him in a yellow spandex, killing other monsters with his bare fists. Sans sighs and talks to him.
Sans: Hey, pal. Ya might wanna stop whatcha doing right now, or you WILL regret it.
The human turned around to face Sans. It was Saitama, who was mistaking these Monsters for being hostile. He takes one look at Sans and asks:
Saitama: Why should I?
Sans: Well, because...(Eye begins to glow) T H E N Y O U R G O N N A H A V E A R E A L B A D T I M E.
Saitama: Ok.
Quickly, Sans summoned two Gaster Blasters, both of which aimed at the Caped Baldy. Before they both fired, however, Saitama suddenly punched one into oblivian. The other one shot it's laser at him but seemed to do nothing. Saitama destroyed that one as well. Sans, caught slightly off guard, summoned a few bones and threw them at the Caped Baldy. He simply made a punching gesture and the shock wave from it shattered all of the bones into nothing. Sans then used his Telekinesis to throw Saitama into a pillar. He crashed into it and it broke down, barrying him in rubble. Sans knew the fight wasn't over, though...
BOOM!
Just as he predicted, Saitama simply burst out of the rubble and lunged at Sans. The skeleton teleported out of the way, but as soon as he re-appeared Saitama threw another punch. This one Sans nearly got hit by as he ducked just before it hit him. Sans decided to play a little dirty and kicked some dust into Saitama's eyes, which even that didn't phase him. Sans then teleported a few dozen feet away from the hero for fun. He took a moment to pause and catch his breath as he looked at his opponent. He didn't even look that impressive, or at least not as strong as the others he's fought.
Sans (Thinking): Holy crap, this guy is faster then i thought. How'z he doing that stuff?
His train of thought was suddenly interupted by a cracking noise. Saitama was picking up a pillar and threw it at Sans. Quickly the skeleton used his bones to shatter it into pieces. The bones then all charged at Saitama, who avoided most of them. But as for the last one, Saitama litirally bit the last Bone in half, leaving Sans more confused then before. Sans shook off the confusion and used his Telekinesis to slam Saitama against a wall. Before the bones could come out of the wall, Saitama punched it, breaking it into pieces. Then, at lightning fast speeds, he picked up the rubble and started throwing it at Sans, who used a Bone wall to block it all. Once again, Sans threw the Bones at the Caped Baldy, and also once again, he simply punched them into oblivion.
At this point, Sans just wanted to get this over with. He's done this shit about five different times, and this time he wanted to just finally relax. So he surrounded Saitama with bones and made them all slam into him, while also shooting a few Gaster Blasters for good measures, then finally slamming a Gaster Blaster onto him. This caused the room to be full of dust, and Sans thought this was finally over. As it cleared, however, Saitama was just standing there completely unharmed. Now Sans was REALLY pissed, but tried to play it calm.
Sans: So...(fake chuckle)...I see you ain't going down so easily...tell me, are you even human? What are ya?
His opponent simply shrugged.
Saitama: I'm just a guy who's a hero for fun.
Suddenly, the room went dark as Saitama suddenly seemed to grow huge. His fist flew right at Sans at a speed so fast that the Skeleton couldn't react in time. Before it hit, the words, "DEATH", spelled out as the Caped Baldy punched Sans with enough force to destroy the Judgment Hall. As the smoke faded, only one person remained.
Saitama: ...and profit. Mostly fun, though.
K.O!!!
Saitama looked down at the dust where Sans once was and grinned. That fight wasn't half-bad. Before he turned around to walk away, he said:
Saitama: Nice fight.
He was then about to take a mighty leap...when a Hedgehog , a robot bear , some guy in a Pink outfit , a fish person , a kid with a baseball bat , a undead ninja , and a silver Hedgehog suddenly appeared out of no where. All of then, confused, looked around and asked each other questions when suddenly a voice boomed in the sky:
???: Hm...interesting cast of characters....hehehehehe...HAHAHAHAHAAA!
Results[]
- Saitama was buying groceries with Genos during a big sale.
- Papyrus was, once again, weeping.
Boomstick: I feel like every time we use Sans, things get more and more tragic.
Wiz: While Sans may have been smarter by far, Saitama was better in almost every other category possible. And I'm not kidding.
Boomstick: Speed? Saitama jumped back to Earth FROM THE GOD DAMN MOON in under 14 seconds. Experience? The Caped Baldy has been fighting for 3 years. Strength and durability? Have you SEEN Sans stats?! Puns?...ok, Sans is better at that, BUT STILL!
Wiz: Plus, Saitama fights for the side of good, so it's very unlikely Karma would effect him in any major way. And even if it did, remember: Saitama is waaaaaaay faster, so good luck hitting him unless he actively let's you hit him.
Boomstick: I'm trying to think of a good pun based on the #7...gimmie a sec, it'll come...
Wiz: The winnner, is Saitama.
