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Samus Aran vs Bayonetta
Season One, Episode Seventeen
Vital statistics
Air date Unknown
Written by WarpStar930
Directed by WarpStar930
Episode guide
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Tifa Lockhart vs Yang Xiao Long Spike Spiegel vs. Revy

Description[]

Nintendo vs Sega! Two Lovely Ladies with weapons galore clash in a planetary fight!

Interlude[]

Yang Xiao Long: Nintendo and Sega...Rivals since the very beginning. Both have created strong characters that rival one another in every aspect.

Guts: Like the Italian Plumber, and Speedy Rodent. The...other italian plumber and...the speedy rodent.

Yang Xiao Long: But what about this Rivalry you didn't know existed? Two Cosmic Ladies with Guns galore and sexy suits! Samus Aran, the most feared Bounty Hunter in the Universe!

Guts: And Bayonetta, the Left Eye of the world. I'm Guts, and she's Yang. It's our duty to analyze their skills to find out who would slay one another in a Death Battle.

Samus Aran[]

Guts: As a child, Samus lived out beyond the known Solar System on an Earth Colony with her parents. Her life was happy, comfortable...

Yang Xiao Long: Buuuuut then a bunch of Space Pirates came down, murdered her family before her eyes, then their giant purple Pterodactyl leader named Ridley destroyed the planet. Fun times.

Guts: Samus, being the only survivor on the world, was doomed to die, had it not been for a race of Bird-like aliens who rescued her. From then on, they raised her to become a powerful warrior...

Yang Xiao Long: Just like you Gutsy!

Guts: ....

Yang Xiao Long: .....

Guts: ....Despite her rocky start, she was soon handling her weapons and training like a profe-

Yang Xiao Long: YOU GUYS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!

Guts: Silence, or i'll cut you're fucking arms off.

Yang Xiao Long: Well...her Iconic suit is know as the Power Suit! The Power Suit is typically used in Varia Form, and it doesn't restrict her movement in any way. Hell, she can curl up into tiny balls and escape to places no one thought possible...but she looks like a dude. The Suit requires a mental link to activate, and can't be taken off without her cooperation.

Guts: Underneath she wears the Skin tight Zero Suit, and wears Rocket Heels and wields a Pistol capable of Paralysis should it land a hit. It is also capable of reaching long range should Samus call for her Laser Whip Mode. But because she's less effective in this mode, she prefers to wear her Power Suit in nearly all situations.

Yang Xiao Long: Her super awesome Arm Cannon shoots a basic Power Beam than can be charged up to blow your entire head off! Along with your body. And Soul, potentially. She can also fire the super powerful Long Beam, that doesn't stop until it hits something! Perfect for sniping.

Guts: The Spazer and Wide Beams fire three projectiles at once, and it's this attack that managed to subdue Ridley with a handful of blasts.

Yang Xiao Long: She's also got a lot of upgrades! Like the Speed Booster, that boosts her already immense speed to new heights! Also, when she got her Power Suit as a kid, her dear old bird friends taught her the Crystal Flash technique! If her health is extremely low, she can bust out this cacoon of energy and absorb her Power Bomb, bringing her back to full health.

Guts: Spineshark allows her to effortlessly leap over buildings, given her already insane agility.

Yang Xiao Long: And there's her Space Jump! She can fly around indefinitely, spinning and spinning, and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning *falls down*

Guts: Combine this with her Screwattack, and this becomes a deadly spinning weapon.

Yang Xiao Long: *gets up* Whoo...

Guts: She has multiple Heat Seeking Missiles, along with an Ice Beam and a Grapple Beam. She can traverse aerial environments with her Screwattack power. With her Super Bomb she can decimate anything nearby, and walk through the blast like it was nothing. If you want an example of Samus power, look at the time she froze an entire Star.

Yang Xiao Long: Or that time she outran Ridley, who could move faster than light...

Guts: Don't forget the time she survived being crushed under thousands of tons...then responding by blowing it's foot off.

Yang Xiao Long: Later, she successfully managed to murder Ridley...on multiple occasions, and then kept the final remaining Metroid as her personal Pet. Lucky girl!

Guts: Should you be an Outlaw, or anyone who might have a bountyaccept on them, feel free to your fate when Samus comes knocking. It's gonna be painful.

Samus: Time to Go. *Fires a Ball of energy at a nearby Alien*

Bayonetta[]

Guts: Over 500 years ago, in England, there lived two separate clans. Beings of Light and Darkness they balanced each other out. They were the Lumen Sages, and the Umbran Witches. They never fought, never bickered, and tried to tolerate the other's existence. There was one rule between the two...

Yang Xiao Long: No Umbran Sage, or Lumen Witch must pork! Seriously.

Guts: ...

Yang Xiao Long: ...Guts? You okay there?

Guts: Just a...minor anuerism. Give me a minute...

Yang Xiao Long: Haha! Well, in any case, an Umbran Witch named Rosa, and a Lumen Sage named Balder got it on!~ Then we got Cereza, a poor little kiddie who was raised by the Umbran Witches. Buuuuut her parents were thrown in jail, Rosa, and exiled for eternity, Balder.

Guts: And...ugh...

Yang Xiao Long: Still suffering? Alright well, it's Yang's explanation time! Cereza's life sucked for a really long time, but then she met Jeane, her only friend and combat partner! Buuut then Jeane got the chance to become the Umbran Heiress, and stopped playing with lil'Cereza. That is until she had to pick an opponent and duel them for the right to wield the Left Eye of The World!

Guts: She chose Cereza, but because she was of impure blood, she wasn't allowed to duel...but Jeane said fuck that and they fought anyway. And guess what? Jeane lost. As a result, Cereza got the right to wield the Left Eye. But then Jeanne backstabbed her friend, murdered her mother, then sealed Cereza away for 500 years.

Yang Xiao Long: Geez, what a shitty friend... but hey, a War had broken out between the Witches and Sages! Isn't that nifty? When Cereza woke up 500 years later, there were only two Witches left. Jeanne and Cereza. Oh, and she decided to call herself Bayonetta for whatever reason. But let's get to the weapons!

Guts: Bayonetta's preferred weapon in any scenario is her Scarborough Fair, or Love is Blue.

Yang Xiao Long: And HOLY HECK are these awesome!!! They fire the deceased Souls of Fairies! Like...what?!

Guts: She uses these weapons in an unorthodox style that crosses with Close Quarters and Gunplay, called Bullet Arts. Speaking of which...Bayonetta can kick so hard, her leg catches on fire. That's similar to planetary re-entry.

Yang Xiao Long: And they're on her heels! Rocking Sexy, and Strong! Then she has Shuraba, a blade that puts Dragonslayer and Gamboul Shroud to shame!

Guts: *growling*

Yang Xiao Long: This Katana is not only pretty to look at, but with a single combo it can suck the very soul from it's victim! Ain't that pretty?

Guts: Oh look, she's got gauntlet's that make yours look like worn boxing gloves.

Yang Xiao Long: ...not cool.

Guts: Durga is a pair of gauntlets with Portal's at the hilt that let her utilize one of two elements, Fire, or Lightning. Combined with her already high strength, these can be a deadly weapon in the hands of someone like her. The Fire is slow, but powerful, but Lightning is fast yet weak. She's shown to be capable of wearing them on her shins and forearms and can switch between them as she wishes.

Yang Xiao Long: She's also the best figure skater ever! I mean look at dem' legs! Not only does Odette increase her combat speed and agility, but they give her a shitton of Blades on her feet! Imagine getting kicked by these things! *shudders* Freaky...

Guts: With Odette, Cereza can freeze angel's solid after just a couple hits, leave behind Icicle's wherever she goes, and can skate on solid magma surfaces.

Yang Xiao Long: And this isn't even the last of her Arsenal! Pillow Talk is a freaking Lightsaber, and she uses Lt. Col. Kilgore to fire Grenades from her arms and legs! Rodin is a set of four rings that gives Bayonetta access to Angelic weaponry, Pulley's Butterfly summons a bunch of Butterfly's to protect her from attacks, and Sergey's Lover let's her split into multiple Bayonetta's!

Guts: Bazillion's is a weapon so powerful she can separate bond's on a molecular level. It is powered by Bazillium...and can one shot Angel Foes.

Yang Xiao Long: She's also got Gun Nunchuks! Is there anything this girl doesn't have? She can turn into animals!!! Look!!!

Guts: Panther form greatly increases her speed, Raven mode allows her to fly and pelt her opponents with sharp arrows, and a Swarm of Bats that let her avoid attacks. And you'll enjoy what she does with her hair.

Yang Xiao Long: What? What's she do with her hair?

Guts: Her hair is actually her clothes, and can be used for things like Wicked Weaves.

Yang Xiao Long: SHE CAN USE HER HAIR TO MAKE A GIANT MONSTER THAT EATS PEOPLE?!

Guts: indeed. Bayonetta's Wicked Weaves typically call upon the limbs of Madama Butterfly, a powerful demon that she has made a pact with. Commonly summons high level demons the codex refers to as "incredibly dangerous" to summon, with high efficiency. Her hair can constrict, and strike with enough force to shatter stone. Now we've got a nice long list of Demon's to sort through.

Yang Xiao Long: And BOY would these Demons give you a run for your money! After reaching a high enough Magic Energy level, Bayonetta screams out a demonic chant, and sends her hair off her body to form the Demon in question. Apparently she likes to go nude...how the hell does she even wash her hair anyway?

Guts: Why would you care about that when you can summon a Dragon to tear your foes to pieces, a giant crow to peck your opponent to death, a Mountain Busting group of hands, a giant snake to crush your foes into a bloody ball, A spider who'll trap you, then let their children eat you.

Yang Xiao Long: Geez...is there anything she can't do? What, can she freeze time in place?

Guts: Yes.

Yang Xiao Long: ...motherfu-

Guts: Witch Time allows her to slow down time to any speed she wants after executing a dodge. But she's shown several different scenario's where she's capable of freezing time whenever, with no defined limit. It comes in handy by matching foes who are much too fast for Cereza.

Yang Xiao Long: But hey, she can't be that strong yeah? Probably a glass cannon!

*Show's a clip of Bayonetta headbutting a Skyscraper back at her enemy*

Yang Xiao Long: Well she can't be that fa-

*Show's Bayonetta catching a falling sattelite and throwing it away*

Yang Xiao Long: Not as strong as Kirb-

*Show's Bayonetta kicking Jubileus into the sun*

Yang Xiao Long: ...well then.

Guts: But don't let this fool you. Cereza's entire race was eradicated by Human's despite their strength. Hell, Bayonetta was harmed by getting thrown into a wall.

Yang Xiao Long: But when you can freeze time, turn into animal's, and wield a huge pile of weapons...it's not a problem.

Bayonetta: Do any of you naughty angel's need a good spanking?~

Pre-DB and Special Thanks![]

Yang Xiao Long: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all!

WarpStar930: But first, I gotta thank the Death Battle Fanon Wiki members for their continued support through all my episodes! You guys are the best! I'll try to make this fight my best in honor of you guys! In any case...IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!



DEATH BATTLE!!![]

WarpStar930[]

Space...the Final Frontier…

Far FAR out into the Universe, we zoom in on a desolate wasteland of a planet. Sand everywhere, canyon’s at every turn, strange creatures called Bantha roamed the dunes…

Welcome to Tattooine dear readers. As the wind whipped and blew around, it suddenly picked up. Sand flew everywhere as a large object entered the planet’s atmosphere. It was Orange, with a Green window into the cockpit. This was the Gunship belonging to Samus Aran, the most feared woman in all the universe.

With speed and grace, she landed the ship before an extremely disgusting creature. It had multiple tentacles poking out, surrounding the beaky mouth that laid at the bottom of the pit. This was the Sarlaac Pit, a truly fearsome creature...but not to Samus. She was carrying a bucket, filled with Ice Shards she had been saving. If you have any memory whatsoever, you know what these Ice Shards were.

If you don’t know, these are the remains of Boba Fett. A sorry foe who had happened to cross her path...she turned the bucket over and dumped all the currently melting ice shards into the Pit, shooting a few blasts of energy at any tentacle that tried to get close.

“Back to where you belong.” she said to Boba’s frozen remains before hopping back into her gunship. She contemplated what to do next...she supposed she could go for a supply run. Tattooine had plenty of powerful, but illegal equipment.

Punching in the coordinates, she flew off towards Mos Eisley

The Famous Cantina

A whole mannerism of scum sat around the dirty cantina, drinking their minds loose with several pints of Blue Milk. You can guess which music was playing in the background, yes? The famous tune known by all...by the one and only Cantina Band. It was loud, and it was fun.

Then Samus showed up. The door opened with a bang, and Samus stepped in, still wearing her armor. She was easily taller than anyone in the room, and all eyes were on her. She stepped over to the counter slowly, taking off her helmet only for a certain drunk next to her to yell out,

“WHOO! Ain’t ye’ just the prettiest lil thang…”

*WACK*

The man who had hit on the blonde, bodacious bounty hunter, was currently punched across the room, and into a far away wall, making everything go silent in an instant. The bartender, eyes wide, asked,

“Well...what can I do for you missy?”

Samus smirked knowingly, “Blue Milk.”

The bartender left to go make her drink, and the music started up again. The shock of the new Bounty Hunter had ended, and everyone returned to their conversations. Samus, out of the corner of her eye, noticed a man with a black flight vest, and white shirt, slip next to her.

“Well...Samus Aran, the one who took Boba Fett off my back.” he said, slyly. Samus didn’t reply for a moment before she turned to him stoically.

“Han Solo, Captain of the Millennium Falcon, worth 25 Million credits. You’re lucky I don’t take you in right now.”

The scruffy looking smuggler laughed at her rather serious remark.

“Just wanted to say a little thanks! Is that so bad?” he cockily replied.

“I’m feeling merciful today Solo. Get out of my sight before I end you like I did Fett.”

Solo laughed and returned to his game of Poker he was playing with some other ruffians. Samus, while drinking her drink, listened in on their conversation after hearing,

“-heard she was 200 billion credits...killed some sort of god…”

“I’d go after her...but i’m no god.” another Bounty Hunter said.

Samus finished her drink and put her Helmet back on, then left and went back to the hangar bay her ship was parked at. She hopped inside, and opened up a console in the cockpit, looking at the highest bounty. Sure enough, an Earth Woman appeared on screen.

Name: Bayonetta

Wanted: Dead or Alive

Price: 200,000,000 Imperial Credits

Samus knew what her next target was…

Back on Earth, days later...

London shined with a combination of Streetlamps, Moonlight, and headlights from cars on the road. Everything seemed calm enough… Except for the loud and insane amounts of gunplay going on in the Park. Monsters roared, and several cartoonish sound effects of punching and banging played before suddenly going silent.

We zoom in on the forest to see dozens...no, over a hundred Angels slain. Their blood stained the tree’s, the grass, and the nearby playground equipment. Who was the source of all this conflict? Who could’ve done something so cruel? Surely some disgusting, ugly monste-neeeeeeeevermind.

Her clothes shining in the moonlight, sleek and making her appear all the more sinister was the Coquettish and mysterious Umbran Witch, Bayonetta. She let out a hearty giggle as she marveled at her work. Those Angels didn’t even know what hit them.

“I’d say you were all entertaining...but that would be lying~!” she taunted to the dead bodies, before strutting out of the park and into the empty street. Don’t mistake this Bayonetta for the Pixie Cut one, this Bayonetta had reverted back to her Beehive haircut, and usual walk that added a little shake to spice up her sight. The woman sighed as she strolled through the city. The Air was cool, complimenting her HOT body.

Get it?


Hot? The air is cold, but Bay- You know what? Forget it, let’s move on.

See, killing angels was fun and all, but Cereza was still rather hopped up on adrenaline, and needed some sort of outlet...but there weren’t any angels nearby! She’d slaughtered them all...what could she do?

Her answer game in a sudden blast of green light from the sky. Bayonetta’s eyes widened before she hopped out of the way, the ground exploding in front of her. Her smirk grew, and she looked up to see a familiar ship zoom in from the Atmosphere. It was small at first, but it grew to the size of a small truck before making its landing hundred feet away from Bayonetta.

“Well...this is interesting~.” She purred, watching as smoke rose from an opening in the top, allowing for Samus herself to hop out of and land several meters away from Bayonetta. Her slightest leap broke the pavement beneath her when she landed. Bayonetta cooed and drew Scarborough Fair. She hopped into a pose where one arm draped above her head and the other aimed straight for Samus face.

“Aww, look at the big and scary spaceman, come to abduct me! Think you’re ready for this fight? I know I am~.” Bayonetta taunted.

Samus said nothing, only pointed her Arm cannon at Bayonetta. Cereza lazily aimed back, faking a yawn.

“Don’t bore me!”

FIGHT!

Samus fired off a round of beams at Bayonetta, nearly hitting the bodacious witch. But Bayonetta was smart, and gracefully leapt over the beams with a cocky laugh. Out of nowhere however, Samus leapt off the ground, eliciting a sonic boom. She slammed a metallic fist into Bayonetta’s stomach, then wacked her with her arm cannon and sent her down to the pavement.

Bayonetta groaned and stood up shakily, only to barely dodge Samus as she tried to stomp the Umbran once again. But Bayonetta leapt out of the way before she became splattered. With a smirk she fired off multiple rounds at Samus. Samus ducked under the blasts and launched herself forward. She aimed down her sights and fired more energy at Bayonetta…

But something changed. The Umbran sped up. REALLY fast. She appeared in Samus’ view, suddenly extremely close with a huge smirk on her face. Samus blinked, then tried to slam her fist into her face...but felt nothing. Bayonetta was suddenly laying on top of a car in an erotic pose. She fired off a charged shot at the car, disintegrating it entirely...only to see Bayonetta wasn’t there.

She growled. How was she moving so quickly all of a sudden? She tracked her movements, running alongside her and trying to hit her with more energy blasts, but she was moving too fast...how? She growled and shot more and more missing every single time. Samus blinked and growled...then opened her eyes to two gun barrels in her face.

With a bang, Samus was hit in the face and sent stumbling back a bit. Her shields were relatively unaffected, and her armor uncracked. Seemed good. She turned to resume the fight.

On Cereza’s end, she laughed as she avoided everything Samus threw at her. Thanks to Witch Time, she could match up with her speed...she giggled and waved at Samus. She rushed back in and shot Samus twice, in the face and in the chest, then kicked her away into a building. She then rushed towards a car and let time resume it’s natural flow. She shot the car twice, causing it to explode into the air. She slowed down time once more and leaped up after it.

“Open wide!” She called, kicking the car down towards Samus and burying the woman as she stood up.

She wasn’t expecting the burning wreck of a car to lift into the air and get thrown back at her. Bayonetta set a heel on it and flipped over it, avoiding the blunt of the damage…

Then Samus delivered a punch to Bayonetta’s middle, then kicked her back into a building. Bayonetta leaped out of it after recovering however, and kicked Samus multiple times, each shot exploding more and more Fairy Souls into her opponent. Samus blocked with her arm cannon and shot Bayonetta away with a surprise blast. Samus reached over and ripped a streetlamp out of the ground with a SCREEECH!!!

Bayonetta’s eyes widened and she activated her witch time once again...but was too late as the pole rammed into her from the side multiple times. Bayonetta felt pain explode in her body as she was hit nearly everywhere at once. She needed to combat this...but how? As the pain jolted and the bruises grew, Bayonetta got an idea. Samus kept up this assault for several moments until all of a sudden, the pole got lighter. She looked to see...the Pole had been cut in half.

Bayonetta’s laugh resonated for a moment she rushed in with the speed of a bullet train and comboed Samus with a sword she seemed to have pulled out of nowhere. Afterwards she kicked Samus away with two explosions from the weapons on her feet.

Bayonetta had brought Shuraba into play. The very sword known to pull the soul right out of it’s victims. With determination in her movements, she kept up her battle.

She rushed in and stabbed down towards the bounty hunter, but the blade effortlessly bounced off of it with a *DINK*.

The two went silent for a moment before Bayonetta shrugged.

“I like a man who’s hard?~”

“...” Samus thoughtfully replied before blasting Bayonetta off of her with her arm cannon with an audible cry from the witch.

Samus got back into her pose and tracked Cereza as she sailed through the air. Her Cannon began to glow blue, and frost poured out of the spout before a beam of pure Cryogenic Energy exploded from the barrel.

It’s Blue Aura penetrated the air, lighting up the city block beautifully. Bayonetta recovered from her pain and looked towards the oncoming bolt with minor fear in her belly.

“Shit!” she cried moving to dodge the blast. came so close to Bayonetta, she felt frost begin to cover her body as she mid-air backflipped over the shot.  A Random car froze solid, and Bayonetta leaped towards it and kicked it so hard it exploded into a ball of white.

The area became misty and hard to see through. Samus searched cautiously, pointing her cannon around as she searched. Samus felt adrenalin rushing through her system. This Bayonetta person was so tricky to catch...not like the brutal space pirates she was facing on a constant basis. She felt an odd smirk on her face as she looked through the area. Then she remembered..,her sensors! Her Sensors picked up that the witch...was right behind her.

Samus whirled around and fired off multiple cannons at her target...or...Targets? Bayonetta laughed as she felt her body quiver as naked light constructs of herself began to twirl around with every move she made. She slowed down time with her power and rushed in, kicking Samus into the air and opening a near endless amount of ammo onto Samus’ armor. The Bounty Hunter crashed to the ground, and stood up a moment later as Sergey’s Lover began to wear off.

Samus charged up another blast from her arm cannon, but Bayonetta made the first move, suddenly twirling her arms around.

‘What is she doing…?’ Samus thought, trying to predict what her enemy would do next. She watched a shift in Bayonetta’s jumpsuit, and suddenly, the suit began to slide itself off, revealing...everything. Just for a moment however, before the twisting hair began to pile up as Bayonetta cried out,

“AVAVAGO!”

The hair twisted around the building next to her, growing in size. Samus’ eyes widened in shock as a violent, demonic roar filled the air. She turned her head to the side, catching the eyes of something...Red. Red Eyes. Red Eyes filled with malicious intent. A primal feeling of a being who was starving.

Hunger.

The Hair Dragon took it’s shape and opened it’s massive jaws, snapping towards Samus, who raised her arm and caught it’s jaws, and successfully held them back as the monster bit down. But it was no use...the hair began to wraps itself around her, snapping her in it's jaws.

*CRUNCH*

Red flashed through Samus Field of Vision. She felt her Shields drop by ten percent…

*CRUNCH*

The beast snapped it’s Demonic jaws on her form, throwing her shields down even more. Samus thought fast, before catching a thought. She began to charge her Arm Cannon…

*CRU-BOOM*

The hair monster got a violent taste of Samus’ Charge Beam, right into it’s nonexistent throat. It roared weakly as it reached a sudden pair of claws at Samus as the beast recovered. Samus fired off a different beam this time however...it connected to the Beast’s face and Samus sharply tugged, dragging the best down. At the same time, it pulled on Bayonetta’s hair...tightly, against the stone building.

As the dragon struggled to pull itself free, it began to break through the stone, little by little, piece by piece...until it decided to straight up pull the building down. Samus blinked and looked up, mentally swearing before retracting her beam and leaping out of the way...until she saw a certain umbran running up alongside the building. She groaned and leapt up alongside her.

As the building fell in slow motion thanks to Bayonetta’s Witch Time effect, the two dashed alongside one another, firing off random blasts here and there. Bayonetta  groaned as she realized her standard shots weren’t doing very well for her anymore...she’d have to try something else.

Reaching into her own Hammer Space she quite randomly pulled out a giant scythe, with three blades on the side. It glowed with mystical energy, pulsating, and looking all the more menacing. She twirled it around effortlessly, and faced her opponent with malicious intent. The two took in the sight of one another...before they both rushed in.

Bayonetta swung her scythe around as Samus approached, and caught her in the side, comboing her with a spin similar to that of a Helicopter’s blades. She slashed over and over again, twirling and spinning before at last, activating her climax attack. Out of nowhere, several portals appeared around their dueling spot on the falling building. A roar rang out, and multiple fists shot through, slamming into Samus with enough force to send her back, before getting hit by another fist, and then another...and then another...and then she got pounded by like a shitload more.

“Let’s see you keep up with this!” Bayonetta taunted, putting on her intricately designed Ice-Skates and zipping around, slicing Samus with her luscious legs as she recovered.

Samus growled, then grabbed Bay’s leg, charging up a beam that was destined to blow her head clean off...until Bayonetta suddenly exploded into a swarm of bats and flew up into the sky. Samus groaned...this Witch was full of tricks. She hadn’t dealt with something like this before...this was going to be tricky. She took aim and fired off a round of Long Beams, to hopefully pinpoint and accurately hit her target. It did not work, and the bat’s suddenly joined together.

From that swarm, came a loud Caw noise, and from that, a large bird.

The two circled around one another for a moment, firing off their own standard projectiles before Samus got the upperhand and nabbed Bayonetta with a grapple beam, before slamming her through a window of the building. She leapt in and followed, only to realize that Bayonetta had transitioned back into her human form and had hopped out of the building.

Witch Time wore off at Bayonetta’s command, and the whole building dropped, creating a large round of debris and a resounding boom heard for miles.


Bayonetta smirked and wiped her hands.


“You weren’t even a challenge, love~.”

That is, until the rubble suddenly shifted and Samus emerged, holding a giant hunk of building over her head. Samus smirked as she tossed the large hunk of building at Cereza, only for the chunk to dissipate slowly as Bayonetta switched back to her Scarborough Fair and blew the stone away with every blast.

In response, Samus picked up another hunk and threw it forward, only for something shocking to occur.

Bayonetta leaned back with a laugh, then threw her head forward, slamming into the Car sized hunk and throwing it right back to Samus, who punched it pieces with a single blow.

Samus and Bayonetta faced one another once more, far from finished. Both had something to lose here. And both were determined to make it out alive.

Bayonetta was wounded slightly, but otherwise still in fighting condition. Samus was pretty okay, but her shields were down to 50%. She’d have to finish this up fast if she wanted to make it out alive. But this damn witch had so many damn tricks up her sleeves, she didn’t know what to do… She’d have to stay calm, and track her movements carefu- Where’d she get that hammer…?

Bayonetta grinned as she drew out her enormous hammer, Takemikazuchi, and hefted it. Samus groaned and decided to keep her distance. One hit from that hammer would drag her shields even lower, and that was...NOT going to be fun. So she fired a few long beams, each one missing as Bayonetta seductively danced through them.

Samus opened up a menu in her helmet console, and switched to her Spazer beam after realizing that this strategy wasn’t working. She shot off the multi blasts, combined with her Ice Beams, and attempted to put down the Witch then and there...but Bayonetta wouldn’t have it. She turned into her panther mode and dashed around the beams with extreme agility, before leaping up onto a building in her now human form, and kicked off the building, leaping towards Samus with her Hammer hefted.

Samus curled up into her morph ball and rolled away, but not before leaving a little present behind….


Bayonetta was JUST about to follow behind the Bounty Hunter...until she heard a quiet “Beep, Beep, Beep, Beepbeepbeepbee-”

*BOOM!!!*
A massive explosion caused the street to disintegrate in an inferno, and Samus grinned. The job was finished. NOTHING could’ve survived THAT.

That is...until something did.

As Samus was searching for evidence of Bayonetta’s death she spotted one of her Scarborough Fair pistols and she picked it up. This would be a nice little present for her benefactors. She stood up to walk away before…

“Thought you could get rid of me THAT easy?!~”

“What in the-”

*CLANG-BZZT-BOOM!*


Turns out Bayonetta had escaped the blast of the Mini Bomb by slowing down time fast enough to run away from the blast and escape the explosion that would’ve murdered her dead.

The three simultaneous sounds of Bayonetta slamming her hammer into Samus with enough force to crack her Shields down even lower than before, and cause a tremor that shook the very buildings around them into falling down. Within the carnage, Samus and Bayonetta continued their violent dance of Hammer swings and Energy blasts. Bayonetta smacked Samus into a wall hard enough to send her from one end of the city, to the next. Bayonetta transformed into her panther mode, and she gave chase.

At the outskirts of town, Samus shot Bayonetta’s panther mode twice with her power beam, and once more with her charge shot. Bayonetta groaned as she turned back into her Human form and decided she’d had enough of this beatdown. As Samus extended her Grapple beam to grab her, Bayonetta suddenly leaped over it, and the crack of a whip filled the air. Bayonetta hooked Samus’ face with her own whip and Samus felt genuine fear at the sound of the whip cracking.

Samus, now hooked, was suddenly pulled forward, and kicked right in the chest SO HARD...Bayonetta’s leg ignited in flames, and Samus flew into the sky. She spun around midair, in morph ball mode, and dropped a Mini Bomb. As she came back down, she fired off several Spazer beams in an attempt to stop the Umbran there.

Buuut as she was falling there was a loud roar from below, as Samus summoned yet another infernal demon to her side…

The creature was large and black, apparently similar to that of a Giant snake. It had 7 heads, and it’s hissing filled the air. Hydra roared at the Bounty Hunter and they all lashed their gnarly heads at Samus, who shot one away, then punched yet another who tried to bite her. Samus felt one head wrap around her waist. She slammed her hand onto it, and felt it shift in pain. But then her vision went dark as another wrapped around her top.

She growled and curled into morph ball mode, suddenly spinning around in her Iconic Screwattack Mode. She burst out of the top of the pile, using her Screwattack to zip away and land on top of a building. The Hydra surrounded the Bounty Hunter, hefting it’s heads back before zooming in to finish it off…


But Samus wasn’t taking that anymore. She began to glow a bright yellow, and a sonic boom erupted for miles as she used her jump boost to jump a mile into the air. Hydra blinked, and suddenly, the Spazer Beam zoomed down from above, hitting all of the head’s at once, and effectively “killing” it for now. Bayonetta returned it to her body and sighed. She wasn’t getting anywhere with this…

That armor of hers was a real pain in her behind. She had to take it off somehow...but it was so stuck on her!

She heard mutliple booms, and out of nowhere, missiles nearly tore up her giblets. She reacted quickly though, hopping into the air and kicking two of them away. She caught another and tossed it down, then used the downward force to send her high up into the air. Samus followed, using her Screwattack, and the two clashed.

Samus got an upper hand and Screwattacked Bayonetta into the sky. After recovering from the pain, Bayonetta drew her next weapon...Pillow Talk! She dropped back down and began spinning, twirling violently before slashing the Bounty Hunter out of Screwattack and slashed her armor, cutting a burning hole into it.

Samus’ eyes widened and she leaped away. That Beam Saber was dangerous! She’d have to be more careful. She fired another round of Spazer Beams that Bayonetta deflected with her Lightsaber- I mean, Pillow Talk.

Bayonetta danced around, slashing her beams out of the way with ease before another, stronger beam, slammed into her blade that she had raised, and forced her back a couple of feet. Samus charged more and more shots, trying to slam into her and put her down. But Bayonetta twirled around each beam with serene grace.

Finally Bayonetta put away pillow talk, and switched into her newest method...Bazillions.

Bayonetta equipped the four guns, but was caught off guard when Samus ran in and hooked her with a grapple beam, swinging her around and into a car with a *WHAM*!

As Bayonetta laid upon the crumpled asphalt, Samus took a chance to observe the chaos they had caused...fallen buildings, people screaming, fires burning everywhere…

It reminded her a lot of her home...of when her journey first began...of when she first met Ridley…

She scowled and shook those thoughts out of her head. She turned back to her fallen target and walked over to her, pointing her laser arm cannon down at the Witch. She groaned and opened her eyes, looking up at the Bounty Hunter who had currently pinned her down.

The air was quiet for a moment before Bayonetta laughed,

“Well, I guess you got me, eh?”

Samus said nothing in response.

It was quiet for another moment before Bayonetta kicked her foot out and fired off a red flash, RIGHT into Samus’ visor. Samus shouted out in pain as her visor and vision went red.

Last second, she fired off one more Grapple Beam, and hooked Bayonetta’s leg. Samus felt cold air around her face...her helmet had dissipated somehow. She felt her long blonde hair splay out across her back and shoulders. She heard a laugh. She looked back to Bayonetta, who was completely tangled up in the electric whip. Samus shocked her harshly, and Bayonetta submitted...

KO!!!

After a minute or two, Bayonetta tried to spark up a conversation


“S-So the scary spaceman is actually a SpaceWOMAN...interesting…~ What are you gonna do to me?”

Samus replied simply.

“Bounty on you. I’m taking you in.”

She pulled Bayonetta to her feet and lead her along, through the destroyed city.

As Samus locked Bayonetta in the back of her ship, she mentally commanded for her armor to shut itself off, and it dissipated in a flash of light, leaving her in her Zero Suit. Bayonetta found herself unable to take her eyes off of her as she piloted…

She considered her own position.

Trapped in a tiny space with a fairly attractive and well-endowed woman in a skintight jumpsuit…

With a smirk, she decided that there were WORSE places to be~.

Results[]

Yang Xiao Long: Holy damn! That was awesome! Show it again! Are they a lesbian couple now? Or wha-

Guts: While this fight may SEEM close, there is a very very clear cut difference in power. Samus can destroy stars, and tank attacks from those who destroy stars, easily putting her above Bayonetta's league.

Yang Xiao Long: And not to mention Samus usually packs the bare essentials, and that usually is just enough to mess up all her enemies! Bayonetta MAY have had means to break Samus' armor...but with Samus regularly moving at FTL speeds...that was a low chance.

Guts: But Bayonetta wasn't useless in any sense. Her FTL reactions and Witch Time, along with her sheer unpredictableness allowed for her to get the drop on Samus multiple times. But ultimately, her time ran out. Bayonetta was undone by Samus' Durability, Skills, Speed and Strength.

Yang Xiao Long: Looks like Samus found a Bae..Onetta. The winner is Samus!

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