| War of the Memelords | |
|---|---|
| Season | 3 |
| Season Episode | 5 (Season Finale) |
| Air date | December 29, 2021 |
| Written by | Professor Mewtwo |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Kipo Oak vs Michiru Kagemori |
Next Zero vs Meta Knight |
SMG4 vs DevilArtemis is a What-If? Death Battle created by Professor Mewtwo it features SMG4 from the web series of the same name pitted against Perfect Cell from the web series DevilArtemis.
Description[]
SMG4 vs DevilArtemis! It's finally time! The most powerful parodies on the internet will decide who is the master of all memes! Can the Super Meme Guardian win the Cell Games or will things end Perfectly for the Ultimate Android?
Poll[]
Got any roots or bets? Make sure to vote in the discussion poll!
Interlude[]
Wiz: SMG4, the Mario recolor that manages the memes of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Boomstick: Perfect Cell, the Ultimate Android and poster boy of the DevilArtemis universe.
Wiz: In an era of wacky, out-of-control internet jokes, we need a champion who can embody this strange sense of humor. Someone who brings pop culture to its peak and provides laughs for years to come.
Popup: Keep in mind that the SMG4 and DevilArtemis universes are based off of, but not officially related to their canonical counterparts. Thus, information such as history and feats from Super Mario and Dragon Ball will not be applied unless specific context is needed.
Boomstick: And what better way to do it than using a parody of a beloved fictional universe. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
SMG4 brings the memes to Death Battle[]
Boomstick: Video games, at first they seem like mind numbing entertainment keeping you glued to a screen, but if Wreck-It Ralph and Free Guy have taught me anything, it's that there is a lot more to it. Turns out each game contains an entire universe full of sentient life whether it be a cheap mobile game, a big shot AAA Title, or even an emulator downloaded for personal fun.
Wiz: That is certainly the case for a certain emulation of Super Mario 64. It was a peaceful world where the hero Mario would save his princess from evil time and time again, though the man who owned the emulator had bigger plans for this world. He would forever change this copy of Mario 64 with a supernatural USB called a Guardian Pod. Upon crash landing into the Mushroom Kingdom, the Pod went haywire and infected the universe with a power unlike any other: Memes.
Boomstick: Those random jokes that make up 99% of the internet? That actually qualifies as some sort of power?
Wiz: Surprisingly, yes. Memes are essentially a universal life force that can take physical form and sustain a virtual world’s existence. A beneficial factor to be sure, but the drawback is that the inhabitants of the universe will be overwhelmed by meme energy, becoming unstable, destructive, and much, MUCH dumber.
Boomstick: That definitely explains what happened to Mario. Poor guy was made dumber than the guys who named that earthbound wheel thingy the Hoverboard. Fortunately, the Guardian Pod also contained someone who could control the memes and save the universe from its own stupidity. This man is Super Meme Guardian 4, better known as SMG4.
Popup: SMG4 is also the YouTuber name of series creator Luke Lerdwhichagul. While the two share voice, personality, and occupation, they are considered separate entities as implied by the Genesis Arc.
Wiz: As his name clearly states, SMG4 is a member of the Super Meme Guardians, beings who control the flow of memes to keep the universe in balance. However, SMG4 didn’t have any memory of this, or anything else for that matter. He popped out of the Guardian Pod with no memories and aimlessly wandered the Mushroom Kingdom looking for answers.
Boomstick: Kind of pointless since the whole population was brain dead to give him answers, but at least they were acting funny enough to film and showcase on the internet which is exactly what SMG4 did. Turns out, that's just what a SMG needs to do in order to stabilize the memes and make people slightly less crazy.
Wiz: It was at that moment SMG4 realized his destiny. With camera in hand and memes to film he would protect the world by creating the weirdest sh*t the internet has ever seen.
Boomstick: And he’s been providing cringe-filled content everyone loves for over 10 years. That is impressive for a YouTuber. I know we’ve been doing the same, but it ain’t easy. The longer this goes on, the more effort we have to put into research and fights, it starts feeling more like work than fun, and people keep complaining about the fights because their favorite character died!
Wiz: Yeah… it’s hard to keep sanity in this line of work. It does pay the bill though. Of course, content creation is no easy task so SMG4 joined forces with the now idiotic Mario to go on many wild adventures.
Boomstick: Granted, Mario is responsible for most of the bullsh*t SMG4 goes through making it either the smartest or dumbest decision he’s ever made. Regardless, the meme lord can handle anything that comes his way thanks to his superhuman physique. He can send objects flying with just a punch, dodge minigun fire with ease, and jump several feet in the air similar to Mario. Speaking of which, why does he look like Mario?
Wiz: Well SMGs are linked to their Avatars, or the main characters of certain universes. Mario in particular is the Avatar of Super Mario 64, thus SMG4 has a similar appearance, but he isn’t a clone. In fact, he has several abilities that Mario doesn’t. Aside from his pyrokinetic fireballs, he can telekinetically move objects, create massive explosions through rage alone, breathe indefinitely underwater and in space, and utter thoughts so big brained that it will literally blow the minds of anyone who hears them.
Boomstick: I guess that’s pretty bada**, though the power I’m jealous of is the glorious Cannon Penis.
SMG4: ♪ CAAAAANNON PEEEEENIS! ♪
Boomstick: I don’t know what procedure he went through to weaponize his genitals, but sign me up for it.
Wiz: I wouldn’t. I did the procedure on myself once, and we’re still trying to repair the bathroom because of it.
Boomstick: So that’s what happened to the urinals.
Wiz: SMG4 isn’t just limited to his physical abilities. He is well trained in magical attacks such as a massive sound blast called the FUS RO DAH. In addition, SMG4 has spells that can transmute objects into whatever he wants, create and manipulate ice, and the Wingardium Leviosa spell is a small, yet very destructive blast that can reduce an entire castle to nothingness.
Boomstick: Despite having all these crazy abilities, SMG4 still feels the need to arm himself with countless weapons including good old fashioned firearms. I’ll admit, even I think this sounds unnecessary, but in the SMG4-Verse even the smallest guns hold a ridiculous amount of power. Take SMG4’s shotgun for example. That baby one-shot Mario Head, a being that destroyed the Earth by casually bumping into it meaning this gun overpowered something that could strike with over 63 Zettatons of TNT.
Wiz: SMG4 also has revolvers, sniper rifles, miniguns, AK-47s, flamethrowers, rocket launchers, and an assortment of classic Mario power-ups like Mushrooms that enhance physical abilities, Blue Shells that hone in on targets, and Starmans that make him invincible for short periods of time. Throw in his hammer, bat, sword, chainsaw, and seemingly endless supply of bombs and that just about covers his more… logical arsenal.
Boomstick: And from here on out these weapons are so nonsensical, you’ll feel like you’re tripping balls. SMG4 can use cartoon hammerspace to store unconventional weapons such as rocks, pianos, toilets, sausages, old men, whatever works really. There’s even a mirror that somehow reflects projectiles, a can of anti-anime spray, and the Mushroom Morpher that turns him into a superhero complete with enhanced physical prowess and the ability to summon that guy from King of the Hill.
Wiz: Who apparently is a Zord that fights giant robots. Who knew. But Hank Hill isn't SMG4's only ride. He can spawn tanks out of nowhere, ram enemies with a flying bathtub, and his personal favourite is the Deathbus, a spiked covered war machine designed to traverse the harsh environments of an apocalypse.
Boomstick: One of those apocalypses was by none other than Waluigi himself. The poor guy couldn’t get into smash so instead he went crazy and turned everyone into T-Pose Zombies. Then we made him fight a laser blasting golden beaver. Ahh, good times.
Wiz: Interesting that you brought him up because when Waluigi is not being a maniacal overlord, he serves as SMG4’s most iconic weapon: the Waluigi Launcher. By filling up a living person with explosives and launching him like a rocket, the Waluigi Launcher becomes one of the deadliest projectiles in internet history, decimating any target in a violent explosion.
Popup: Inserting more explosives into Waluigi can increase the Waluigi Launcher’s speed and power. Mario once inserted enough explosives to send Waluigi around the world in under two seconds.
Boomstick: Even if it misses, the Waluigi Launcher will ricochet off walls until it hits something worth exploding. SMG4 can also pour extra energy into Waluigi for a supercharged Weegee form. If that version is fired, then whoever it's pointed at has about half a second to make peace with their god before their unavoidable death.
Wiz: The Waluigi Launcher is one hell of a trump card, yet SMG4 still has something many times stronger up his sleeves. After chance encounters with other Super Meme Guardians, SMG4 learned the true nature of memes and his purpose as an SMG. This helped him unlock his hidden potential and learn to manipulate memes by molding them into whatever he desires.
Boomstick: Ehhh sort of. He to hold hands with his pr*cky counterpart SMG3 and that kind of help isn’t allowed in Death Battle.
Wiz: Actually, SMG4 is still able to manipulate memes without outside help. SMG3 only helps draw out those abilities to their full extent, though the limited version is nothing to scoff at.
Boomstick: Heck yeah! With the meme manipulation, SMG4 can convert memes into raw energy to form a Meme Spirit Bomb which can explode with enough power to destroy the Mushroom Kingdom. It takes a lot of meme energy to form, but SMG4 is never in short supply because he can summon various memes to aid him in battle including the planet-busting Mario Head we mentioned earlier.
Wiz: And being so in-sync with the internet and its memes, SMG4 has become aware of the world outside Mario 64 giving him complete awareness of the fourth wall itself.
Deadpool: Did somebody say fou-
Boomstick punches Deadpool out of the episode.
Boomstick: NO! We have done this too many times already!
Wiz: Thanks to this awareness, SMG4 is not bound by the standard laws of the physical world allowing him to alter reality as he sees fit. With it he can teleport virtually anywhere and change the setting of wherever he and his allies may be. It is heavily implied that SMG4 even controls the story’s plot, deciding the events that should unfold and actualizing them.
Boomstick: And that may or may not include some fan-favourite deaths. Best not to think about it. But the pièce de résistance to these wall-breaking shenanigans is the Super Mario 64 Cheat Codes, a wall of commands that exist outside the main universe and can cause anomalies or grant new powers depending on the cheat all of which SMG4 accesses by going outside the boundaries of the universe and turning them on manually.
Wiz: His most iconic cheat is the Moon Jump where he can stay air-bound indefinitely, basically the power of flight. SMG4 can also change the terrain’s appearance, increase his speed and size, and perhaps the greatest cheat of all is the Infinite Life and Energy cheat.
Boomstick: These cheats are as straightforward and as broken as they sound. Infinite Energy prevents SMG4’s stamina from dropping, keeping him from dying no matter how much damage he takes, and should that damage exceed his durability, the Infinite Lives will immediately resurrect him like that death never happened. Wait a minute… isn't this a bit too overpowered!?
Popup: While SMG4 has never directly shown use of the Infinite cheats, he does have access to it. Mario utilizes the exact same cheat list and used Infinite Lives to respawn himself in videos such as “Shoot to the Observatory in the Sky” and “Can Ganondorf come out to play?”.
Wiz: To be fair the cheats can be turned off just as easily as they can be turned on. Mario once deactivated said cheats by accidently throwing a rock at them so they aren’t as invincible as you would think. Though whether the cheats are on or not, SMG4’s endurance is insane, able to tank the most brutal of attacks and instantly regenerate from them.
Boomstick: He’s been shot through the head, dropped from cloud level, tossed into lava, reduced to a skeleton, forced to operate without a head, self-destructed into ashes, caught in planet-busting explosions, and vaporized into nothingness by signing Toads, yet always comes back in perfect condition. And then there was the time SMG3 rewrote the timeline in order to erase SMG4 from existence. No problem as SMG4 simply took out his phone, reuploaded his videos, and RE-ESTABLISHED HIS OWN EXISTENCE! Godd*mn that’s impressive.
Wiz: SMG4 has accomplished a lot of other things during his many adventures. He dodged lighting and lasers, destroyed whole armies of teletubbies, knocked a rocket out of orbit with a test-your-strength bell, and flew to the Sun in mere seconds.
Boomstick: His willpower is strong enough to break possession from a magic hat and take over 400 million forms of torture back to back and keep going. Not to mention all those years tolerating a r*tarded Mario left SMG4 with a love-hate relationship with the plumber and the two have fought each other mono e mono numerous times.
Wiz: The meme lord has consistently sent Mario flying during these encounters, and the latter has outweighed an 18-story building. They’re most famous feuds have led to the legendary War of the Fat Italians, a competition of strength and skill where anything can happen, though in every war SMG4 and Mario have stalemated each other. With that in mind, SMG4 should be capable of the same physical feats Mario has accomplished himself.
Boomstick: Mario is more than a spaghetti-loving moron, the guy has destroyed the Earth by crapping too hard, slapped every a** in the Mushroom Kingdom in under 10 seconds, and tanked an explosion that immediately sent him from one galaxy to another.
Wiz: Given the time frame of the event, the average distance between galaxies, and assuming Mario’s weight is about 216 Tons, roughly compared to the building he outweighed, that minimum force of the blast should be worth at least 1022 Foe.
Boomstick: For those of you who don’t speak nerd, that’s the equivalent of over 1000 supernovas exploding in your face. Though that’s a lightweight feat when you consider that Mario incapacitated Eggman and fought on par with Sonic both of whom survived their own universe collapsing.
Wiz: It makes sense for SMG4 to be this strong too. He’s been pitted against all-powerful entities like Bad Star, Weegee, and Waluigi and came out on top every single time. And with help from his friends he brought down SMG0, a corrupted Meme Guardian that threatened the multiverse.
Boomstick: He may not be as strong as SMG0, but SMG4 is tough enough to tank hits from him, and in a weaker form that monster tanked and powered through the full force of four Guardian Pods. You know, the things that can meme-ify a universe.
Wiz: It’s also worth noting that SMG0 was fatally wounded in a single blow by Melony and Mario has deflected blasts from her when she used a stronger form. Needless to say, SMG4’s potential is so amazing it’s nearly impossible to fully comprehend.
Boomstick: That’s the power of memes for you. They’ve given SMG4 the edge he needs, and he’s even learned to become one with the meme by transforming into Beeg SMG4. It’s only the most sophisticated meme ever created by meme lords, and it’s spherical, SPHERICAL!
Popup: While only appearing in a promotional clip, the Beeg SMG4 transformation does take place within the SMG4 universe and does not contradict anything within canon. Therefore, it can be considered part of SMG4’s arsenal.
Wiz: Beeg SMG4 is nothing less than an unstoppable juggernaut. It is seemingly capable of knocking anything out of its path at blindingly fast speeds which it used to get from Neptune to the Sun in 2 seconds. In order to pull this off, SMG4 must be moving over 7400 times the speed of light.
Boomstick: Based on how thicc the Beeg form is, I’m certain ramming into someone at those speeds would be overkill.
Wiz: By using this absurd power and causing monstrous amounts of damage for a decade, SMG4 has kept the Mario 64 emulator in balance while simultaneously entertaining the internet. He really lives up to the name of Super Meme Guardian, ensuring that memes will continue to entertain the masses for years to come.
Boomstick: And that’s all the internet could ever ask for.
SMG4: Ok, I’ve been working my entire life to finally show this to you. Ok, ready?
SMG4 opens the door to reveal a bunch of spinning Marios before closing it.
SMG4: Uhh… heh heh.
SMG4 opens the door again and sees Kermit beating up Mario then slams it again.
SMG4: Goddammit Mario, you’ve been playing with my magic door, haven’t you!? Ok, here we go, for real this time.
SMG4 opens the door revealing a while void as the camera zooms in on it.
Perfect Cell is actually going to fight his opponent in Death Battle[]
Wiz: Dr. Gero, perhaps one of the most brilliant scientists in robotics, but his genius was hindered by a massive grudge.
Boomstick: That grudge being towards a certain alien monkey man that shot lasers from his hands named Son Goku.
Wiz: Determined to kill Goku at any cost, Gero put his life’s work into creating a Bio-Android whose power surpassed that of the Super Saiyan. This being became known as Cell, and despite his potential, it would take years for him to fully develop.
Boomstick: But apparently not even Cell couldn’t wait for that so when he did grow up, he stole a time machine and went to when he was supposed to kill Goku. And to ensure he had enough power, he sucked a bunch of people into his booty hole, yes you heard that right, until they buffed him up into an astonishingly handsome bug man. Just look at that face, it’s absolutely perfect.
Wiz: And that’s why he’s called Perfect Cell.
Boomstick: Any Dragon Ball fan can tell you the story from there. Cell held a tournament called the Cell Games to prove his strength before blowing the planet up. Goku tried to stop him and died trying, but his offspring Son Gohan finished the job and sent Cell to Hell where nobody would hear from him again.
Wiz: And this is where Dragon Ball canon diverges from what is known as the DevilArtemis universe, a timeline that exists outside of reality where anything, no matter how bizarre, is possible. In this universe Cell somehow escaped from Hell and returned to the Cell Games, but as his story came and went he no longer served a purpose.
Boomstick: Which also meant he was out of a job. Having no work, no friends, and technically no home Perfect Cell was now in a figurative Hell worse than actual Hell. Though in the worst of times there is always one savoir who can provide a miracle: Kermit the Frog, everyone’s favourite Muppet that educates children, sings happy songs, cripples Pokémon with a bat, nuts in your coffee, and goes on murderous rampages with gu- ok, maybe it’s not the Kermit you were thinking of.
Wiz: Yet still the miracle worker Cell needed. Kermit asserted himself as Cell’s friend and proposed an idea that could give Cell new meaning. By attracting various characters and memes to the Cell Games, the namesake himself could take them on and film the hilarious aftermath for all the internet to see.
Boomstick: This sounds a lot like what Team Four Star did.
Wiz: This is exactly what Team Four Star did, Kermit’s idea was to rip them off.
Boomstick: Of course he did, though like Zukerberg to the Winklevoss Twins, the DevilArtemis Cell does it better. His interaction with the multiversal ensemble has created the perfect cringe that explicitly makes you want to watch more. It’s also left Cell psychologically abused because most of the challengers are insane, so double-edged sword really.
Wiz: Granted the ultimate android’s skillset makes him a threat regardless of his opponent. Gero designed Cell to be an unstoppable fighting machine capable of matching the planet’s strongest heroes, all thanks to his adaptability. Cell can fight under virtually any circumstance with little to no difficulty, and learn new abilities in surprisingly short time spans. To amp things up, Cell utilizes an internal life energy called Ki which pushes his physical prowess to superhuman levels, perfect for demolishing his opponents in a fight.
Popup: Under Might Guy’s training, Cell mastered Ninjutsu and Taijutsu within 5 minutes. He also invented his own Jutsu called Drown-a-bitch-no-justsu.
Boomstick: (*laughs hysterically*) That’s a good one, Wiz.
Wiz: Huh? What did I say?
Boomstick: Have you ever seen these videos before? Cell never really fights his opponents. He just taunts them a bit before getting his a** whooped.
Wiz: That may be the formula 90% of the time, but Cell has legitimately fought his opponent on multiple occasions. The only reason he avoids fighting is because his power would kill his enemies in seconds, leaving little to work with for content.
Boomstick: Fair enough. Cell’s power level is no joke either, in fact IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAANNNNDDDD! Ok, maybe it is a bit of a joke, but by manipulating the Ki within him, Cell uses that destructive power for several different techniques. His go-to technique is the simple point-and-shoot Ki Blast. How does it work you ask? Well he points at the target, shoots an energy blast, and the poor sap is devoured in a massive explosion before they realize what’s going on.
Wiz: Cell has more creative ways to use his Ki too. He has volleys of Continuous Energy Bullets, Big Bang Attacks, Galick Guns, razor-sharp Destructo Discs, a massive Ki explosion that reaches distant planets-
Boomstick: And the Special Beam Cannon, a tiny laser fired from Cell’s fingertips to tear apart the victims nutsack. It might just be the most evil attack ever conceived in all of fiction. Though his most famous technique is the one he stole from Goku, the Kamehameha which translates to “Turtle Destruction Wave”. Not the best naming in the world, unless you’re the Shredder, yet there’s something satisfying about charging a super laser in your hands then letting it all out to blast the enemy to kingdom come.
Wiz: All these techniques are incredible, yet Cell learned to go even further beyond with his Ki manipulation using it to propel himself in the air to fly, create clones of himself, sense and evaluate the Ki of others, and with Instant Transmission he can teleport to wherever he desires including places from other universes.
Boomstick: Move aside Portal Gun, I just found a new way to travel.
Wiz: Cell can also use the Fusion Dance to combine with others, resulting in being with a far greater level of Ki such as Cellmit, the fusion between Cell and Kermit. But should Ki not be enough, Cell’s unique biology has plenty of its own advantages allowing him to breathe underwater and in space, shrug off blows from normal weaponry, and regenerate from the most severe of wounds almost instantaneously.
Boomstick: This healing factor is broken beyond belief. As long as some part of Cell is still around, he’ll regenerate from it in peak condition, ready to go another round. It doesn’t matter if he ripped his arm off, had his head punched to smithereens, got his top half disintegrated, or self-destructed on his own Cell body easily repairs itself from the ground up. There was also the time Shallot disintegrated Cell’s entire body, and the android still had something to regenerate from since he busted a nut moments before the fight.
Wiz: I know we’ve seen a lot of weird feats on this show, though none of them could possibly be weirder than regenerating form a pool of your own-
Boomstick: Stop right there, Wiz! I’m pretty sure we can’t discuss this any further without getting in trouble.
Popup: The horns on Cell’s head are actually part of a hat to hide his true appearance. Cermit once got a glimpse of this and ended up hospitalized by the resulting trauma.
Wiz: Good call. Let’s move on.
Boomstick: While Cell is proud of his perfect physique, he isn’t one to avoid the use of weaponry, especially the good sh*t that is firearms.
Wiz: Sure, it appears impractical for someone who can blow up planets to carry guns, but thanks to the twisted logic of the DevilArtemis, guns serve as the deadliest weapons in the universe. A single shot can take out anyone regardless of how strong or tough they may be.
Boomstick: And that’s just a normal handgun. Stronger firearms like shotguns have enough firepower to erase you from existence. By the way, Cell has a shotgun that can erase you from existence.
Wiz: Cell’s arsenal even contains magnums, revolvers, and a dual set of AK-47s he uses to sink spaceships. For close range situations, he carries lightsabers that cut through anything and a baseball bat to beat people at his leisure.
Boomstick: Don’t forget he can also run you over with his selection of cars, the best of which is the Mystery Machine, a vehicle shared by various villains of the Dragon Ball universe. Goku Black acquired this chick-magnet through murder for the sake of committing more murders. So if Cell ever used this for murder himself, it wouldn’t make much of a difference.
Wiz: In case Cell doesn’t feel like killing someone with his bare hands, he has attack drones to fight in his place, and the Duel Disk allows him to summon memes through the use of cards ranging from Dancing Riccardo to Ugandan Knuckles dressed as Dark Magician, but his ace in the hole is Some Bullshit which swaps allies with whomever he’s facing.
Boomstick: It’s specifically meant for Yu-Gi-Oh characters such as Yugi and Kaiba, although it isn’t Cell’s only franchise-based weapon on hand. When the Power Rangers challenged him, Cell acquired a Dragon Ball that turns him into a Ranger himself and when DIO made his debut, he stabbed himself in the d*ck with a magic arrow that gives people Stands.
Wiz: Upon awakening his Stand, Cell named it Moista Fiesta, because apparently this series needed more innuendoes. Moista Fiesta can be summoned at will to beatdown the competition in a flurry of punches, but it’s real strength is the ability to see all possible futures and rewind time to help Cell plan around his enemy’s attacks.
Popup: Similar to Stands in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Moista Fiesta cannot be seen by Non-Stand users rendering him invisible to normal people.
Boomstick: Plus he can make pizzas. That really is the perfect Stand for the perfect android.
Wiz: There’s one more weapon Cell has up his non-existent sleeve. When Kermit had a Thanos-styled epiphany and wiped out half the universe, Cell scoured the edges of time and space to forge one of fiction’s most iconic super weapons: The Infinity Gauntlet.
Boomstick: I’m sure you people don’t need a thorough explanation. All it takes is a mere snap and Cell either brings someone back to life or turns them into a pile of ash and the powers can affect the entire universe in one go. Lesser known fact, the built in Reality Stone adds the ability to alter the terrain, transmute objects, and temporarily disable internal powers such as Ki.
Wiz: Breaking the laws of reality is impressive, then again Perfect Cell doesn’t need a gauntlet to do that. Coincidently, the many fights against memes helped Cell develop an understanding of the internet they came from, resulting in awareness of the fourth wall. With it, Cell has learned to control the world around him by rewriting the plot to one better suited for his tastes. Essentially, this means whatever Cell wants to happen will inevitably happen.
Boomstick: The wall-breaking shenanigans don’t end there. He’ll even leave his own universe to make cameos in others. Marshall, I mean Ringmaster, once hired Cell as a co-host for one of his DBX fights. I wonder why he doesn’t like talking about that…
Wiz: Though the Cell Saga may be over, Perfect Cell proved that he still had a lot more to offer. You would think Cell would just use this power to blow up the planet and accomplish his one true goal, but as it turns out Cell isn’t the genocidal megalomaniac others make him out to be. Truth is he never wanted to be evil to begin with, it was a burden forced upon an android who wanted to be, of all things, a singer.
Boomstick: Hey, he’s got the vocal talent that won Namekian Idol. Don’t give up on your dreams, bug man. And wouldn’t you know it, he befriended some other retired villains to form a sitcom family called the Dragon Ball Super Friends. Plus he’s dedicated part of his life to becoming something that Goku never could be: a good father… also someone who can pleasure Chi-Chi.
Wiz: But should Cell be forced back into fighting, and pitted against someone that can push him to the limit, he’s prepared his own super forms to compensate. Taking a page from the galactic tyrant Frieza, Cell learned to increase his energy output to achieve the form of Golden Cell. Stronger, faster, and tougher than his base form, Golden Cell is nothing short of a powerhouse that can obliterate planets with little effort.
Boomstick: As Cell himself puts it, the full power of the Golden boy can wipe out the entire solar system using the Kamehameha. Assuming this made an explosion that covered our own solar system, how much force would that take?
Wiz: Believe it or not, an explosion that big takes almost 10,000 Foe to pull off.
Boomstick: Godd*mn…
Popup: Cell has claimed he could wipe out the solar system prior to his Golden form’s debut implying that Golden Cell is significantly stronger. However, this is difficult to prove as the exact point Cell acquired this form is unknown.
Wiz: Yet this isn’t even his final form, and it isn’t a form that could be achieved by his perfect physiology. Instead he needed an emotional push from the death of his worst enemy.
Boomstick: That clicking VRChat nightmare Ugandan Knuckles. He’s always been asking if you know the way, and while I never figured it out, Cell did when Knuckles sacrificed himself to save him. And whatever “the way” was unlocked a secret state of mind called Ultra Instinct.
Wiz: In Ultra Instinct, Cell’s power skyrockets to unimaginable levels. He’s so fast that gods can’t keep track of his movements and has unleashed a flurry of punches in what looks like a slight wave of his hand. This form has notably overpowered the legendary El Hermano who is, and I quote, “capable of wiping out galaxies in the clap of an ass cheek”.
Boomstick: I’d never imagine you would say that.
Wiz: Neither can I.
Boomstick: If this is really what Cell can do at his peak, then his feats are no real surprise. He’s constantly shrugged off explosions that covered his whole arena, wiped out a space fleet during a musical number, punched Goku through the Moon, and during a gold-off with Frieza the two lapped around the Earth in seconds.
Wiz: Based on the size of the rings left behind and the time it took to complete four laps, Cell must have been moving at over Mach 65,500 or roughly 7.5% the speed of light. I suppose that speed is necessary when you and your opponents can fire lasers that reach outer space with ease.
Boomstick: And necessary to beat the top tier of the DevilArtemis universe. Frieza, Broly, Beerus, Carl, Cermit with a C, All For One, they’ve all fallen to Perfect Cell one way or another. It helps that Cell is just so hard to kill being able to survive impalement, dips into lava, punches that send him to other planets, and the absolute destruction of the universe at the hands of the Omni-King.
Wiz: Seems not even erasing all existence can keep the ultimate android down for good. Cell may not have the easiest life, but the years of fighting everyone in the fictional multiverse Cell managed to leave his mark in history as the perfect Dragon Ball villain.
Boomstick: Which also gets you all the big-t*tted anime ladies you could ask for.
Wiz: Who can draw power from a nude-powered Spirit Bomb. Seriously though, what the hell is going on in this series?
Boomstick: Ha haa, thank you fan service. Whether you see him as a bio-engineered super weapon or a parody among parodies, one thing is clear: the DevilArtemis Cell is the best Cell out there.
Beerus: I don’t understand. You’re like a completely different person. Who are you?
Cell: I’m Perfect Cell, bitch.
Cell punches Beerus in the face, sending him flying until he explodes, thus winning Cell the fight.
Death Battle![]
The Cell Games, a big-a$$ square in who-knows-where that somehow attracts fictional characters from across the multiverse. On that square stood the main residents of the games, a tall, dark, and handsome android named Perfect Cell, and his sidekick Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street.
(*Kermit bursts into Professor Mewtwo’s room and holds a gun to his head.*)
Kermit: Would you care to repeat that motherf*cker!?
Uhh… I mean Kermit the Frog, Cell’s super sexy Muppet manager who has all the ladies craving his ginormous d*ck.
Kermit: Much better. Now if you excuse me, I have an episode to get back to.
(*Kermit returns to the Cell Games.*)
Jacka$$. Anyways, it was a typical day at the Cell Games with Cell and Kermit bantering while waiting for the next random character to show up.
Kermit: Sorry I had to leave back there. I had business to take care of.
Cell: Don’t care. Just tell me who’s on the list today.
Kermit: Umm… list?
Cell: Yeah, you know, the list of characters who walk into the arena to torment me for no reason. Who’s the next on that list?
Kermit: Well this is awkward... I forgot to bring the list.
Cell: You what!?
Kermit: I snorted a lot of cocaine last night, woke up with a hangover, and forgot to grab the list this morning. These things happen, Cell.
Cell: God*mmit, Kermit! We need that list! Without it nobody shows up to fight me, meaning nobody will watch our videos, and we won’t get the money needed to keep this place from falling apart.
Kermit: I only forgot the list this one time. It’s not like this minor screw-up is going to cause something catastrophic to happen in this arena.
Suddenly, a big green pipe bursted out of the arena surprising Cell and Kermit.
Kermit: Nevermind. Looks like the plumbing just broke.
Cell: This is a concrete slab in the middle of nowhere! We don’t have plumbing!
From the green pipe came an Italian-shaped man in blue and white who was blasted into the air before landing on his face. His name was Super Meme Guardian 4, or SMG4, for short and he did not want to be here.
SMG4: D*mmit, Mario! You need to stop shoving when we go through the pipes!
As SMG4 got up, another man popped his head out of the pipe. This one was similar in appearance except his color scheme was red and blue (plus he was a lot dumber). If this man ever introduced himself, he would say “It’s a me, Mario”.
Mario: Not my fault your a$$ is slow! Now come on! The Spaghetti Store closes in 5 minutes!
SMG4: Umm… Are you sure this is the right place?
Mairo took a look around to see that the two were not near any stores nearby, but instead a large bug man and a talking frog staring at them with suspicion. Unfortunately, Mario was an idiot and failed to realize this.
Mario: Of course they sell spaghetti here. That nice hobo from the dumpster said so.
Kermit: Welp, it looks like you have opponents now. See, we didn’t need the list after all.
Cell: F*ck it. As long as there's content. EXCUSE ME, R*TARDS! MIND TELLING ME WHICH ONE OF YOU PENETRATED MY ARENA WITH THAT HUGE PIPE!?
(*Zarbon moans in the distance.*)
SMG4 and Mario turned towards the android yelling at them.
SMG4: What? Look, the pipes do that on their own. We didn’t mean to-
Mario: SMG4, how could you!?
SMG4: Mario!
Cell: So you’re the one who's responsible. Either pay up with money or your life. Your choice.
SMG4: Waitwaitwait…
Cell: Life it is then!
Cell raises his hand to fire a blast of Ki that barely misses SMG4 and blows up a mountainside, causing the latter to grovel in fear.
SMG4: Please don’t hurt me. I’m just a simple YouTuber.
Cell lowers his hand, looking less angry.
Cell: Oh sh*t, really? I’m a YouTuber too.
SMG4: Woah, small world. So what kind of videos do you make?
Cell: Random bullsh*t with a bunch of memes mixed in.
SMG4: Hey, I do that too. We should do a crossover sometime.
Cell: Ha haa. I like your style. Maybe we should work together.
Note: Professor Mewtwo wrote this in because he really wants these two to do a crossover.
Mario: Hey, bug man. Do you have any spaghetti?
Cell: What the? No! Who the f*ck are you anyways?
SMG4: Oh, that’s Mario. He’s the star of my videos.
Mario: Your sexy face makes Mario’s weiner very hard.
Cell: (*brief silence*) I hate to break it to you, but your friend is r*tarded.
SMG4: I know, it’s his r*tardeness that makes my videos so good.
Cell: There is no way you could make a successful series of YouTube videos using a character whose only gimmick is being a complete idiot!
Kermit: You tell him, Cell!
SMG4: Oh yeah!? Who made you the authority on content quality?
Cell: B*tch please, I make the highest quality cringe on the internet!
Kermit: They’re videos where Cell gets beat up by random characters.
SMG4: That’s it?
Cell: Well, we also have Shallot, but he’s useless.
Shallot: Ha ha! I’m a cameo!
SMG4: You just do the same thing over and over! That’s boring! People must really get tired of you fighting all the time!
Cell: Actually I don’t really fight them. I just roast them for a minute or two and call it a versus videos.
SMG4: So you lie to viewers too!? Man, you must be the worst YouTuber on the internet.
Cell: I can’t be any worse than you!
SMG4: I bet that you are!
SMG4 and Perfect Cell glared at each other intensely with sparks forming between their eyes. Mario, awkwardly standing between them, decides to slowly back away.
Mario: Nope. Mario not dealing with this sh*t.
Cell: You think I’m worse than you? At least I’m not a virgin who couldn’t outgrow Nintendo games!
SMG4: At least I live in a castle, and not on a rock in the boonies!
Cell: At least I don’t copy my best friend’s poor fashion sense!
SMG4: At least my best friend isn’t a 56-year-old frog!
Cell: At least I have high quality animation! I animated Death Race you know!
SMG4: At least I’m not a ripoff of some forgettable anime villain!
Cell: You know, I could actually fight you, with my bare hands, and it would be over in a second.
Kermit: Do it, p*ssy! No balls!
SMG4: Bring it on! I’ll squash you like the bug-thing you are!
Cell: You honestly think you can beat me? You can’t beat sh*t with that Fat Italian body!
SMG4: That's it! ♪ I'm about to whip somebody's ass! ♪
Cell: Ah ha haa! I am going to enjoy blasting you into nothingness!
The two get into fighting stances while Kermit brings out a bucket of popcorn to eat during the upcoming chaos.
Kermit: This ought to be good.
FIGHT!
Part 1: A Plumber and a Bug Man walk into a bar...[]
SMG4 starts off by rushing at his opponent, only for Perfect Cell to b*tch smack him to the edge of the arena. The android then fired a volley of ki blasts from his hands. SMG4 yelped before using his Mario 64 acrobatics to narrowly dodge the assault.
However, this was only a distraction that allowed Cell to teleport behind the memelord and kick him in the back. The memelord landed flat on his back and Cell landed on him, using his foot to hold his opponent down.
Cell: See what you’re dealing with now?
Rather than responding, SMG4 tried to break free, but Cell had him pinned down good. He then got an idea and threw a fireball at Cell’s face, hitting him right in the eyes.
Cell: Son of a b*tch!
Though the attack did little damage, it blinded Cell long enough for SMG4 to push his foot away and get back on his feet. Cell recovered quickly and tried to throw a punch, but SMG4 jumped up into the air to dodge it then retaliated by stomping on the android’s head like a Goomba.
The attack dazed Cell, giving SMG4 plenty of time to get behind his opponent, grab his leg, and spin him around. After generating enough speed, SMG4 let go and sent Cell flying outside the arena and towards a floating spiked ball.
Cell: Where the hell did that come fr-
Cell collided with the ball and it exploded sending him flying into the air before crashing into the center of the arena.
SMG4: Yeah! Take that!
Cell got up angry and exerted his Ki, surrounding himself with a glow that pushed the other inhabitants of the Cell Games back a bit.
Cell: Alright, no more games! I’m not getting my a$$ handed to me that easily!
Kermit: Unlike the last 100 times you fought someone.
Cell: Shut up, Kermit! This doesn’t involve you!
Cell created a Distruco Disc and launched it at SMG4 who responded by taking out a baseball bat and hitting the projectile right in the sweet spot. For a second, it looked like the bat was pushing back the Destructo Disc and was about to redirect it for a home run. This display of strength left everyone with their jaws dropped, even Perfect Cell, until the Destructo Disc sliced the bat in half and flew past SMG4. The memelord looked at his broken bat in shock, and a second later his head fell off revealing that the attack had also hit his neck.
SMG4: Well sh*t…
Cell: Did you just talk without a-
SMG4: SURPRISE NINJA ATTACK!
SMG4 (with head somehow back on body) tackled Cell to the ground. Cell pushed his opponent off who landed on his feet and charged in again. The two traded blows with each other with one of them landing a direct hit followed by the other doing the same in a counterattack.
As they kept fighting, SMG4 and Cell started matching each other’s attacks and sped up in the process. They began moving around the arena too, moving at such incredible speeds that they were invisible to the naked eye, with only the shockwaves of their collision appearing to indicate their presence. For the combatants, it was an intense fight, but to the spectators it was one hell of a show.
Mario: Hey frog guy, can I have some popcorn?
Kermit: Sure, you can have a bit of it.
Kermit motioned his popcorn bag towards Mario who rapidly gorged on it until nothing remained except Kermit’s empty hand.
Mario: Eyyy, that’s pretty good.
Kermit: Well, that was a mistake.
Back at the fight, SMG4 managed to get an opening and punched Cell through the stomach causing the android to explode.
SMG4: Oh God! I killed him!
What the memelord didn’t realize was that the “Cell” he killed was a clone and the real one, accompanied by two more clones, were coming at him from different angles. One of the Cells kicked SMG4 in the butt hard enough to make him airbound.
SMG4: Ooo, my a$$!
The other Cells joined in by unleashing a flurry of punches and kicks from both sides before doing a double meteor smash to launch the memelord back to the ground. The three Cells surrounded their target and charged up a ki blast in their hands to finish the job.
(The real) Cell: Get rekt, b*tch!
All three Cells fired their lasers at once, but as they neared SMG4 he got up with a serious look on his face.
SMG4: (In the asdf potato voice) Not today!
He narrowly jumped out of the way, yet the Cells persisted and moved their ki blasts so that they followed SMG4. The memelord ran from the lasers, dodging as best he could before pulling out a trio of Bomb-ombs to counterattack with. He threw the first two at the clones and destroyed them with powerful explosions. This caught the real Cell’s attention as he became aware of how dangerous the bombs were, and just in time too. SMG4 threw the third bomb at Cell, but the android acted fast and deflected the bomb with his arm, sending the Bomb-omb so far into the air that it left a twinkle once it was out of sight.
SMG4: Huh. Hopefully that won’t back down when I least expect it.
Cell: You know what? I’ve had enough of this! It’s time to end this episode and your cringe-a$$ videos.
Cell cupped his hands together and held them back as a cluster of blue energy formed between them.
Cell: KAAAMEEE-
SMG4: Crap! What do I do!? What do I do!?
SMG4 crouched down panicking, anticipating an extremely powerful attack. He wasn’t sure there was a way out until he remembered that he had something in his pants that could save him.
SMG4: Of course! That!
Cell: HAAAMEEE-
SMG4: Here goes nothing!
SMG4 did a backflip and landed with his pants down, revealing a massive cannon where his genitals should be.
SMG4: ♪ CAANNOONNN PEEEENNNIISSS! ♪
Cell: HAAAAAAA!
Perfect Cell fired a massive blue laser and his also-blue enemy. SMG4 intercepted the laser by firing from his Cannon Penis, creating a fiery explosion that covered the entire arena. The dust slowly cleared, first revealing Mario and Kermit who took advantage of the explosion by using it to roast marshmallows. They high-fived each other for their big brained idea. The rest of the dust cleared to show that SMG4 and Cell were still standing and the latter was disturbed by cannon coming out of the former’s crotch.
Cell: Time out! What the f*ck is that!?
SMG4: Umm… it’s my canon penis.
Cell: Please, for the love of God, put that thing away! The last thing I need is another Zarbon publicly jacking off in my arena!
Zarbon: Personally, I like having that d*ck out in the open. It really turns me on.
Kermit: Zarbon, when did you get here? And where are your clothes?
Seeing that everyone else had their clothes off (or didn’t wear any at all), Mario stripped down to the nude and joined in on the conversation
Mario: Oh boy! Is it nude time already?
Cell: Great, now it’s trending! Can you please pull your pants up so we can move on with me beating your a$$ to oblivion.
SMG4: About that… it’s stuck.
Cell: Stuck!? What do you mean stuck!?
SMG4: I mean it’s stuck! I can’t tuck it back in!
Cell: …Are you telling me you got an erection fighting me?
(*Zarbon moans*)
SMG4: What!? No! I’m not having an erection, the penis cannon is jammed, that’s all!
Cell: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that counts as an erection.
SMG4: Whatever, can you help me reset it?
Cell: Why me?
SMG4: Well it’s either you, or one of those idiots over there.
Cell looked over to the two naked men and the psychotic Muppet and weighed his options. As much as he hated SMG4, he knew the memelord deserved to be in better hands and decided to help him.
Cell: Ok, fine. What do I need to do?
SMG4: It’s simple, you just need to grab on and push it back into my pants.
Cell: …
SMG4: What?
Cell: Nothing. Let’s get this over with.
One uncomfortable scene later
Cell: (*shutters*) I’m not living that one down. Is it fixed?
SMG4: Yup, it’s fixed. Thank you for that.
Cell: No problem.
SMG4: So are we going to start fighting again?
Cell: Oh no, I’m done fighting you…
SMG4: (*Phew*) That’s a relief-
Cell: Because I got someone else to do it for me.
SMG4: Wait, what!?
Suddenly, an attack drone drops into the arena and points its guns at SMG4.
Drone: INITIATE PROTOCOL: F*CK GOHAN, ACTIVATE, AHHHH!
The drone fired a blast that swallowed the memelord in an explosion, yet it didn’t kill him. SMG4 came out of the explosion armed with a hammer and ran towards the drone. Said drone continued to fire explosions at its target, but SMG4 anticipated the attacks and effortlessly dodged. He then swung his hammer on the drone’s head creating a light bonk sound and doing seemingly no damage until it violently exploded for the sheer ferocity of the strike.
Cell: Cheap a$$ robot. I suppose that’s on me for buying it off Craigslist.
SMG4: Hope you're ready, because I’m going to bonk you over 9000 times harder than I did that robot!
Cell: Oh so now you’re making Dragon Ball jokes, MY JOKES? The gloves are off a$$hole! It’s time I got serious!
With newfound resolve both combatants charged at each other, but right as they got in punching range, a random object fell down and landed right between them, halting their attacks. It was the Bomb-Omb Cell smacked into space earlier and the crash had just set off it’s self-destruct mode.
Bomb-Omb: My main goal is to blow up.
Cell: At least I’ll die knowing this is your fault!
SMG4: Ahh shut up!
The Bomb-Omb exploded and sent SMG4 and Cell flying to Far Far Away (well not exactly there, but somewhere closeby), leaving the remaining characters alone to do their own thing.
Mario: So do either of you sell Spaghetti?
Kermit: Umm no, but I have a ramen shop.
Remember this, it will be important later.
Shrek vs Eric Cartman by GoCommitDi[]
Elsewhere in a random swamp, a 10-year-old boy was wrestling with a big, fat, sweaty monster. No, not a pedophile, I’m talking about Shrek, and before you think less of him, I should point out that the boy he’s fighting is an a$$hole named Eric Cartman.
Currently, the ogre was swinging from treetop to treetop trying to avoid bullets fired by Cartman’s gun. Shrek then backflipped into the air, preparing to crush Cartman with his voluptuous green a$$ causing the latter to rapid fire in panic in hopes of hitting. Unfortunately, the attack still went through and Shrek sat on Cartman with such intensity that it knocked the gun out of his hands. It wasn’t in vain as the last bullet had succesfully damaged Shrek’s buttcheeks, and upon noticing Cartman escaped from his opponent’s rear end to gloat his success.
Cartman: Looks like I got some of yer ass, mothe- Oh feck. Where did my gun go?
The two noticed the gun laying near a bush and rushed towards it. Cartman played dirty and tripped Shrek as he tried to reach it, allowing him to grab the gun first and attempt to reload it.
Shrek: Oh no you don’t, bub!
Shrek leaped forward to grab Cartman’s gun before he could shoot it and the two engaged in a tug-of-war to see who would control the firearm.
Cartman: You’ve had your last McDouble, fat fack!
Shrek: Oh yeah? Well, kiss my layers, Short Stack!
It was then that SMG4 and Perfect Cell fell from the sky and landed a few feet away from Shrek and Cartman who stared at the odd duo in confusion.
Cartman: Who the feck are these guys?
Realizing Cartman was distracted, Shrek kicked him in the stomach, forcing the gun out of his hands again and sending the kid flying. He flipped the gun around so that it pointed in the right direction and was planning to take down his opponent with it when he heard Cell moaning in pain and turned around to see him get up.
Cell: Oh f*ck, that hurt. Where did that blast send me anyways?
Shrek: You there! What are you doing in my swamp!?
Cell took notice of the ogre right in front of him. Thinking it was the god-like Shrek from the DevilArtemis universe, he immediately panicked.
Cell: HOLY SH*T, IT’S SHREK!
Shrek: Have we met before? Were you the entertainer from my kids’ last birthday party?
During the questioning, Shrek unintentionally points his gun at Cell causing the android to panic more.
Cell: AND HE’S PACKING F*CKING HEAT!
Shrek: Quiet down! You’re going to wake up the whole swamp.
SMG4: Yeah! Some of us are trying to be unconscious here!
Cell looked at SMG4, who had just gotten up, and warned him of the threat that could wipe them both out.
Cell: Careful. That’s Shrek in front of us.
SMG4: I know that. Everyone knows that. What about it?
Cell: Are you f*cking serious!? Shrek is one of the most powerful beings in the universe! If he wishes, he’ll destroy us using the full force of the DreamWorks’ box office!
Shrek: And I thought the tour guide exaggerated about me.
SMG4: I’m going with Shrek here. There is no way he’s that powerful.
Cell: Are you kidding me!? We need to get out of this swamp right now before he pounds us to the tune of Bad Reputation!
Shrek: I’d listen to the green one if I were you. Or else, I’ll force you out with… whatever this thing is.
Shrek pointed the gun at the intruders as a threat, though his lack of knowledge regarding the weapon led him to pulling the trigger by accident. The gun fired a bullet which hit SMG4 right in the “pingas” causing immense pain as the Mario recolor covered his crotch.
SMG4: (*High pitched*) I think I’m starting to see your point.
Cell: Sh*t, no escape now! You ain’t touching my buns, hun!
Cell quickly fired a ki blast that destroyed Shrek’s gun. This angered the ogre who was now determined to do what his opponent assumed he would do to him.
Shrek: Alright then, come on!
As Bad Reputation intensifies, Shrek runs toward Cell to give him a beating. The android tries to fend him off with some more ki blasts, but Shrek smacks them out of the way with his intense strength and delivers a dropkick to Cell’s perfect face. Cell is launched into a tree and attempts to get away only for Shrek to grab his leg and reel him in.
Cell: Oh God, please no!
Shrek reels Cell in and flips him upside down. He then jumps into the air and spins around to nail the android into the ground so hard that his body becomes halfway buried into it. With one opponent down, Shrek glared at the frightened SMG4.
SMG4: Shrek is love, Shrek is life?
Not caring for the memelord’s plea, Shrek walked closer to SMG4 and towered over him with an intimidating smile.
Shrek: This is the part where you run away.
The ogre wasn’t wrong as SMG4 instantly ran away screaming. Of course, Shrek was having too much fun with this fight so he decided to chase after him. Despite getting a head start on a rather bulky beat, SMG4 could see Shrek catching up with him and needed to think of a counter attack. Looking around, he saw Cartman slowly getting up and made his way to him.
Cartman: Ah feck that hurt! Hey, where did that asshole go?
SMG4: Excuse me sir, but I’m in desperate need of your services.
Cartman: You need my what?
Cartman didn’t get a verbal answer. Instead he was picked up by SMG4 and pointed at the charging Shrek.
SMG4: Kick the baby!
SMG4 pulled a Kyle and punted Cartman like a football causing him to fly into Shrek’s face and knock the latter into a concussion. Now that the ogre was dazed SMG4 closed in on Shrek and mashed his inner B button as he delivered a series of punches before launching the ogre away with a kick. This created some distance between SMG4 and Shrek, but the latter regained his senses and was still eager to pound the man in blue and white.
Shrek: Thank you sir, may I have another.
SMG4: Crap, is there anything that can stop this monster?
Cartman: Hey you!
SMG4 and Shrek stopped fighting to see Cartman walking up to them, looking angrier than ever.
Cartman: You can’t just go around kicking people and calling them babies! That kind of treatment is only for Canadians and Jews!
SMG4: Well you looked like a chubby baby, so I thought it was ok.
Cartman: How dare you! I will make you RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!
Shrek: The wee ones are so adorable when they try to act tough, aren’t they?
Cartman: Why you shit-eating goddamn motherfuckers-
Cartman’s anger-based swearing caused the v-chip in his brain to overheat and let out electricity that flowed through his body. Most notably, the electricity was intensifying in his hands indicating that something dangerous was going to come from it.
Shrek: The mouth on this one…
SMG4: It’s not the mouth we need to worry about…
Suddenly, Cartman shot a lightning bolt out of his hands like a Galactic Emperor. SMG4 and Shrek barely jumped out of the way as the bolt formed a huge crater and Cartman knew that he had turned the tides on his enemy.
Cartman: This is going to be so sweet!
Cartman spouted swears as fast as he could and used the resulting v-chip shocks to fire electricity all over the place.
Cartman: SHIT! PISS! FUCK! CUNT! COCKSUCKER! MOTHERFUCKER! TITS!
Glad this isn’t a TV set…
SMG4 and Shrek moved around the swamp to dodge the bolts, but they were being overwhelmed by the assault. Their luck would change (for better or for worse) when one bolt hit Cell and freed him from his earthly prison.
Cell: Wha!? Who just zapped me!
It didn’t take long for Cell to find the source as Cartman was in the center of the swamp continuing his swears without noticing the additional opponent. The kid decided to put all his efforts into one big attack and charged it up with an extra long swear.
Cartman: FUCK SHIT ASS COCK TITTIES RESPECT MY GODDAMN AUTHORITAH!
Cell: Wait? Why aren’t his swears getting censored?
Because I’m respecting the original writing here, also because f*ck you! Now do something about this so I can wrap up this cameo!
Cell flipped me off and pulled out a handgun and used it to shoot Cartman, knocking the kid down before he could let out the big one. The remaining three looked at each other from separate ends of the swamp, anticipating a potential battle royal.
Shrek: And then there were two. Thanks for making my work easier for me.
Cell: Don’t press your luck. I can beat both of you with one of my arms ripped off.
SMG4: Oh yeah? Well… sh*t, I forgot to think of a comeback.
Cell zoomed in to punch SMG4 away, though it left him vulnerable to Shrek who body slammed him. SMG4 tried to get back in by swinging his hammer at the ogre, but Shrek reacted in time to catch it. He was prepared to counter with a punch, however, he failed to notice that Cell had teleported above the two and the android fired Continuous Energy Bullets that covered his opponents in an explosion.
Cell thought the attack would do some real damage, but he was wrong. From the ashes of the explosion, SMG4 was thrown out like a torpedo and jabbed Cell right in the stomach. The two fell to the ground and Shrek ran up to grab them and bash their heads right into each other. Cell got a concussion from the attack, though SMG4 endured it.
The memelord searched his pockets for a weapon and pulled out a rock with a blank face and wizard hat. He wasn’t sure why that was in there, although he didn’t care and threw at Shrek’s face managing to lodge the rock far up his nose. The ogre stumbled back and let go of his opponents then pressed on his nose to blow the rock out.
Shrek: Yeesh! That one really is better out than in!
Shrek was so distracted by the rock up his nose that he almost didn’t notice SMG4 coming in for another punch. Redirecting his attention to the attacker, Shrek leaped forward to body slam the memelord and for a second he thought he crushed him, but SMG4 proved him wrong by lifting him off the ground with ease, rendering the ogre helpless.
Shrek: My, yer surprisingly strong!
SMG4: This is nothing compared to carrying Mario’s fata$$ around!
Cell: Glad to see you two are getting along. Too bad you all have to die.
SMG4 and Shrek saw Cell standing right in front of them, charging up ki in his palm. The android was ready to reduce them both to ashes and aimed at his main target, SMG4. His attack was interrupted upon receiving a massive shock throughout his body, causing Cell to misfire and blast Shrek away instead. When the shock stopped, Cell turned around to see Cartman bleeding from his arm and holding a taser gun.
Cartman: Miss me, asshole!? You’re going to pay for shooting me in the shoulder!
Cell: You’re still alive!? Look, kid, that taser hurts and all, but it’s not powerful enough to beat someone like me!
Cartman: Oh really? Well, I bet you didn’t expect me to bring this!
Cartman pulled out a syringe that confused Cell.
Cell: You have drugs?
Cartman: Not drugs, apple juice. It gives me super bad farts.
Cartman injects the syringe into his arm and pulls his pants down to aim his fata$$ at Cell and SMG4. The targets understood what was about to happen, but were unsure why it was happening.
Shrek: You think yer farts are bad? Mine are registered as lethal weapons!
Shrek mirrored Cartman’s actions to challenge the kid, and the two in the crossfire knew they were more screwed than they were five seconds ago.
Cartman: You're on, cocksuckah! Let’s do this!
Shrek: On the count of three, let’s use what our mothers gave us! One?
Cartman: Two…
Cell: Aw f*ck.
SMG4: Here we go again.
Shrek & Cartman: THREE!
Shrek and Cartman let out a double gas blast so catastrophic that only the original writer of this scene could properly assess the damages. But for this situation in particular, the most important casualty was SMG4 and Perfect Cell were farted out of the swamp and to a place where more guest appearances awaited.
We now go to Shonen City, the other place in the DevilArtmeis Universe where bullsh*t tends to happen. There, outside a cafe sat too Pokémon. One was named Bunny Cat4, a Pikachu in a pointy blue hat typing away on his laptop and the other was Cider621, a black-colored Eevee in blue hat and scarf.
Cider: So when are you going to finish your first Death Battle finished?
Bunny Cat: Actually I’m almost done.
Bunny Cat slowly types away on the keyboard.
Bunny Cat: Let’s see here. N… O… T…
Cider: (*sniffs*) Hey do you smell swamp gas (*sniffs more*) and apple juice?
Cider’s question was met by the two figures reeking of that stench crashing into the cafe and destroying it. He and Bunny Cat stared at the wreckage and saw Perfect Cell emerge from the rubble.
Cell: Kaggy better not have seen that. Now where did that Italian-looking Asain from Australia go?
SMG4: Surprise, motherf*cker!
SMG4 popped out of the rubble too and kicked Cell in his perfect nutsack before running off.
Cell: Ahh! My f*cking d*ck! Whyyy!?
Cider looked at the scene, dumbfounded about what was going on, though Bunny Cat had a completely different reaction.
Bunny Cat: Oh my gosh! Is that SMG4!?
Cider: Who?
Bunny Cat: We need to get his autograph! Quick, let’s go after him!
Bunny Cat grabbed Cider by his front paw and dragged him along as he chased after SMG4.
Cider: What about your Death Battle?
Bunny Cat: I’ll finish it later!
Those two wouldn’t be the only ones pursuing the memelord, as Cell shook off the dirty blow and wanted payback.
Cell: Oh hell no! You are not getting away after that!
Cell flew towards his target, moving so fast that he passed the two Pokémon and created a slipstream that made them tumble. The android caught up to SMG4 and kicked him into a nearby car. He tried to follow it up by rapidly firing some ki blasts, but SMG4 reacted quickly by picking up the car behind him and using it as a shield. SMG4 then kicked the car at Cell who easily dodged it causing the vehicle to go towards a new target: Bunny Cat4.
Cider: Look out!
Cider jumped onto Bunny Cat and used his powers to submerge them into the shadows so that the car would fly right past them. Cell heard Cider’s scream and turned around to see nothing, which was just the distraction SMG4 needed to run up to Cell and bash him on the head with a toilet.
The android fell to the ground and recovered fast enough to catch a second swing of the toilet and break it with his grip.
Cell: Did you really think you could kill me with a toilet?
SMG4: I want to say no, but that would be lying.
Cell: Cute.
Cell punched SMG4 in the chest and launched him several feet. The latter retaliated by pulling out an AK-47 and pointing it at the android.
SMG4: Say hello to my little friend!
Cell: Hello little friend.
SMG4 fired his bullets, but Cell maneuvered around them so fast it looked like he was teleporting. The perfect being inched closer and closer until he could karate chop the AK-47 in half.
Cell: Goodbye little friend.
The memelord refused to be intimidated by this and punched his attacker in the face. Cell responded by doing the same and soon the two were punching each other back and forth in the style of a Family Guy chicken fight. As the two traded blows, they unintentionally walked into a building where they would cause more trouble.
Meanwhile, Cider emerged from the shadows holding on to Bunny Cat while giving a sigh of relief.
Cider: Looks like the coast is clear.
Bunny Cat: Let me go! I really want that autograph!
Cider: Fine, if you’re going to be this way we’ll go after them. Now which way did they go?
Bunny Cat: They went into that huge building. The one with the storm clouds circling the top.
Cider looked up to see the building with Bunny Cat’s description. He also noticed a sign that said “Geese Tower” and got a bad feeling about it.
Cider: Oh boy… we are going to die.
Heihachi Mishima vs Geese Howard by SoMaShadow (Part 1)[]
At the top of Geese Tower, the fighting game bosses Heihachi and Geese were recreating something we saw back in April, but this time it was a lot cooler.
Currently Geese had the upper hand with Heihachi in his grasp and chi being channeled threw his body. The Zaibatsu head threw Heihachi towards the ceiling hard enough to crater it then waited for the old man to fall to the ground so he could kick him in the back. Yet Heihachi remained unbroken. He got back onto his feet, powering through the pain to continue the fight with his opponent.
Geese: Come on! I expected more from the head of the Mishima clan!
Heihachi: You’re a bit more capable than I gave you credit for, but none can withstand my iron fists!
With their cocky attitudes, Heihachi and Geese charged at each other and clashed fists, creating a burst of electricity as wild as the storm outside. They would have kept at it, if not for the unexpected dinging of the elevator at the end of the room. Both fighters stopped, anticipating an intruder that would likely join in on their fight.
Heihachi: Another challenger?
Geese: Has Bogard finally arrived?
The elevator opened and out came SMG4 and Cell, still in the midst of their chicken fight, unaware of their surroundings. Heihachi and Geese backed up as the other two fighters punched their way to the center of the room. Since the latter two were not using their true power and instead throwing cheap punches, the expert martial artists mistook them for a couple of idiots.
Geese: I need to hire better security…
Geese was the first to make a move by firing a Reppuken that blasted the two apart and landing them next to Heihachi on both sides.
Geese: Too easy.
Cell was the first to get up and he looked to his side to see that he was being looked at by an old man with hair that looked like his… whatever that is on his head.
Cell: Nice hair.
Heihachi: Nice horns.
Geese: Bug man! Plumber! Unless you two can fight, you will die along with the other man before you!
Cell: Fight? Ha haa! Mr. Weeaboo, I was created to fight the strongest people on the planet, and win! If anyone is dying here it’s you!
Geese: And what about your friend?
SMG4: Fighting? You mean like Karate?
Geese nodded.
SMG4: Perfect! I know the only thing you need to know about Karate. (*pulls out a gun*) Guns beat Karate, everytime!
Before SMG4 could beat Geese’s Karate, Heihachi intervened by kicking the gun out of the memelord’s hand.
SMG4: What the hell man!?
Heihachi: No cheating.
Still mad at SMG4 for trying to use a gun, Heihachi assaulted him with a Flash Punch Combo then grabbed him to throw him into a wall. SMG4 bounced off it, giving Heihachi the opportunity to strike with his Demon Scissors attack, knocking the memelord to the floor. Seeing his opponent dazed by the attacks, Cell held his hands out to finish off SMG4, but Geese stopped him with a kick to his head.
Geese: Your fight is with me!
Cell: Welp, you're funeral.
Cell tried to counterattack with a quick punch, but Geese caught it and used it to throw Cell to the ground.
Geese: Predictable!
Cell got up and launched a Special Beam Cannon, but Geese jumped over it and blasted Cell in the face with a double Reppuken.
Geese: Predictable!
Cell used his Instant Transmission to get behind Geese and pointed his hand at him to make an explosion engulf him, but the crime lord dodged at the last second and rushed toward the android.
Geese: Predictable!
Cell: STOP SAYING THAT!
The android angrily kicked Geese away before he could land another attack and followed it up with a Destructo Disc which circled around to try and hit the crime lord from behind. It wasn’t enough, as Geese turned around to shatter the disc with his fist. That was a mistake as it left him open to Cell’s gun which he used to shoot a hole through Geese. While the bullet once again failed to hit a vital area, Geese fell to his knees due to the severity of the wound.
Cell: Was that predictable!?
Geese: (*coughs*) cheater.
Meanwhile, the other YouTuber was having trouble with the other evil martial artist. Heihachi’s pro-gamer combos were overwhelming SMG4, giving him no chance of fighting back. Fortunately, SMG4 got a counterattack when he pulled a chainsaw out of nowhere and smacked Heihachi in the face with it. He whacked Heihachi in the face a few more times until the old man was too far away, but he was still able to recover quickly and then got a good look at the weapon.
SMG4: Stand back! I got a chainsaw! RIM MIM MIM MIM MIM MIM MIM MIM! RIM MIM MIM MIM MIM MIM MIM MIM!
Heihachi: (*laughs evilly*) You don’t know how to use that thing, do you?
SMG4: What!? Of course I do! You just pull this cord here, right?
SMG4 pulled the cord on his chainsaw, but instead of starting the motor, the cord hit the weapon so hard that it was sent flying out of SMG4’s hands. Heihachi leaned to the side a bit to dodge the chainsaw as it made its way to the other side of the room where Cell had a beaten down Geese by his gi and was about to deal the killing blow.
Cell: You’re goose is cooked, Geese!
Cell then felt something penetrate his stomach and looked down to see that there was now a chainsaw where a chainsaw was not supposed to be. SMG4 saw this too, and was looking worried by the fact that he hit the wrong target.
SMG4: Whoops…
Cell: Godd*mmit!
Seeing karma ripping a hole in his opponent gave Geese the second wind he needed to break Cell’s grip and charge his fists with chi to devastate the android with a flurry of blows. Heihachi felt the same vibe and amped up his ki to unleash an equally devastating combo on SMG4 before grabbing him by the overalls.
Heihachi: To hell with you both!
Heihachi threw SMG4 to the center of the room and Geese did the same with Cell. The two main combatants layed injured in the center, giving Geese the chance to jump on top of them for a special move.
Geese: Raging… Storm!
On the lower floor was a special gaming room for VIPs of Geese Tower. Only two of those VIPs occupied the room: Tari, SMG4’s cybernetic duck-loving friend and a robotic hedgehog in a red jacket named SpeedyHedgehog91. The two were currently playing Injustice: Gods Among Us (don’t you dare think of that meme) on the PS4 with Tari using Raven to beat the sh*t out of Speedy and his low-tier Flash skills.
Speedy: You’re pretty good, but I bet you weren’t prepared for this!
Speedy’s robot hands go into overdrive and Flash starts letting out combos so fast and deadly that they reduce Raven’s health bar by half in a mere second. It looked like the end for Tari on-screen, though in reality she was starting to get serious.
Tari: I don’t think so.
With perfect timing, Tari inputted the commands for a super move and Raven stopped Flash’s assault via magic blast. Flash was sent to another dimension where demons swiped away almost all of his health and Trigon was coming in to take away the last bit of it.
Speedy: No no no no no noooo!
It would have been game loss for Speedy if a blast of lighting didn’t come from the ceiling and send SMG4 and Cell down to crush the TV, leaving the game inconclusive.
Speedy: You a$$holes! I was just about to win!
Tari: Actually, I’m pretty sure I was-
Speedy: I’ll crush you!
Speedy fired a laser from his chest causing SMG4 and Cell to jump out of the way.
Cell: Somebody is being a b*tch!
That insult provoked Speedy as he went into a Spin Dash and sped into Cell. The android had no trouble deflecting the attack with the swipe of his arm, sending Speedy flying towards SMG4 who caught him and made a brief spin before returning to sender.
SMG4: So long, gay hedgehog!
SMG4 and Cell spent a while hitting Speedy back and forth until the former hit it hard enough that the Spin Dash hit Cell perfectly launching both him and the metal hedgehog far away. Speedy got out of his Spin Dash and unfortunately, the attacks he took left him with dents and loose sparks everywhere. It was clear he could not win a head-on fight so he used his robot brain to think of a new plan.
He saw the PS4, a non-broken TV, and the robotic arm of a confused Tari which gave him a truly evil scheme. Using his supersonic speed he hooked the PS4 to the new TV then used an additional cable to connect the console to Tari’s arm.
Tari: Wait. What are you doing?
Speedy opened up the holographic menu on Tari’s Meta Runner arm and inputed commands that made Tari’s eyes glow blue and had the PS4 glow the same color. Without warning, the PS4 shot out lightning that zapped SMG4 and Cell and slowly dragged them into the TV.
SMG4: No, anything but that!
Cell: Where the f*ck are you taking us!
The two were sucked into the TV where they would be forced to experience the brutal world of Injustice. Speedy thought his revenge had been completed until he heard the elevator ding and was met with two new challengers.
Bunny Cat: SMG4, are you here?
Bunny Cat looked around the room for the YouTuber he idolized, but he was nowhere to be found, just a semi-conscious girl and a robotic hedgehog. Cider walked in as well, thinking of a way to help his friend find SMG4.
Cider: He doesn’t seem to be here. Maybe we should try asking around to see where he went.
Bunny Cat: Good idea! Hey Mr. Robot, have you seen a man in a blue hat and white overalls?
Speedy: You mean the guy who interrupted my game!? Are you friends with him!? Because if you are, you must die!
Speedy got so angry that he transformed into a mechanical hedgehog-dragon thing best described as a Metal Overlord. The power of the transformation made a large gust of wind that blew Bunny Cat and Cider back into a wall. Upon hitting the wall, a small cartridge fell out of Cider’s scarf and lodged itself right into the PS4.
Cider: No! My Sonic Forces!
The improperly injected cartridge caused the PS4 to malfunction, changing the game world inside to one that was both of DC and Sonic with the main characters of this story still in it.
Infinite vs Sinestro by Cider621[]
The new reality was already in ruins with a totaled city to prove it. But this was not due to the fact that a Sonic Forces cartridge collided with an Injustice disc. No, this was the work of the masked jackal Infinite, and the only person who could stop it was an equally terrifying villain: Sinestro.
The Yellow Lantern was trying to crush Infinite by pressing down on him with a shield that looked like it was doing the job until Infinite charged up energy to destroy it in a powerful blast. He then flew at Sinestro, who was ready for a fight, but he got caught off guard by a clone of Shadow the Hedgehog pelting him with homing attacks. The hedgehog wasn’t the only clone there as Infinite had also created clones of Metal Sonic and Zavok to help gang up on his opponent.
Cell: So you’re telling me that thot has a magic arm that warps people into video games and that we are now trapped in a video game?
Hearing an unknown voice in the battlefield, Infinite looks down to see SMG4 and Cell discussing amongst themselves.
SMG4: Yeah, pretty much. I feel like someone could make a whole web series out of that.
Cell: Ha! Like anyone would ever watch that!
Infinite: Interesting. I didn’t expect any weaklings to survive. Chaos, take care of them.
SMG4: Excuse me. Who is Chaos?
To answer his question, a blue arm stretched out to punch SMG4 in the face. The arm retracted to reveal a monster of pure water starting at the two guest characters.
Cell: I think he’s Chaos.
Chaos leaped at Cell and tried to attack him and the android moved quickly to avoid the attacks. Infinite watched the battle from below, confident that the two would be taken care of, but he forgot about his other opponent who had just finished off his other clones.
Sinestro: Fool! You let your guard down!
Sinestro fires a laser to blast Infinite away then flies towards the jackal to keep up the pressure. This left SMG4 and Cell alone to deal with the Chaos clone who had them on the ropes. The water monster had its arms extended and swung them back and forth, forcing its targets to stay far away, but SMG4 eventually ducked and tried to tackle it.
SMG4: For the Motherlandssss!
Chaos didn’t react and turned into a puddle causing SMG4 to miss and instead crash into a pile of rubble.
SMG4: Ow.
With one target left, Chaos slowly walked towards Cell. Despite the monster’s power, the android was confident that he would be victorious.
Cell: You think you have me cornered? Well, you’re wrong! Because I have this!
Remembering that he still had a chainsaw in his stomach, Cell yanked the weapon out and pulled on the cord. His wound sealed shut immediately, putting him in perfect condition for cleaving a Sonic Adventures villain in half.
Cell: Time to die you liquid loser!
Cell swung the chainsaw down and sliced Chaos in half, although he forgot how magic water beings work and witnessed Chaos reform himself like it never happened.
Cell: Sh*t, that didn’t work. It probably would have made more sense if I blasted it with-
Chaos formed a big water hand and grabbed Cell mid-sentence, trapping everything except the android’s head within its grasp. It’s goal was to squeeze Cell so hard that blood burst out of his noggin.
SMG4: Hey! F*cker!
The water monster stopped its brutal death plan and rotated it’s head 180 degrees so see SMG4 holding a magic wand.
SMG4: You need to “chill” out!
Cell: Wait! Hold on! Let me get out first!
Realizing what his opponent was about to do, Cell desperately attempted to escape Chaos’s grip. He managed to break his arms out, but it was too late as SMG4 had begun casting his spell.
SMG4: AVADA KEDAVRA!
SMG4’s wand fired a bolt of lightning that hit Chaos directly. The spell froze the water in the monster’s body, and since Chaos was nothing but water, he was effectively a dead popsicle.
Cell: I don’t know what hurts worse, that pun you made or THE LOWER HALF OF MY BODY BEING FROZEN SOLID!
SMG4: Look on the brightside. Now you and your ugly face can’t go around hurting people anymore.
Cell: Oh yeah?
Cell pushed on the ice hand he was bound to with so much force that it freed his top half by ripping it off of his lower half. In an instant, he regenerated the lost half, shocking his opponent.
Cell: Would you look at that. Now I can go around hurting people. I think I’ll start with the annoying guy with the mustache.
SMG4: (*in a scared voice*) Please tell me you're talking about a different guy with a mustache.
Cell: Haha. There is no different guy with a mustache.
If Cell were paying attention he would know there is in fact a different guy with a mustache. If he was paying more attention, he would have noticed Infinite zoom by to dodge a giant yellow fist that crushed Cell instead. The source of that fist was Sinestro, who had a very evil mustache. Cell shrugged off the fist and redirected his attention towards Sinsestro.
Cell: Seems I was wrong.
Cell flew up above SMG4 and Sinestro then held out one arm as he gathered ki into it.
Cell: Special deal, this week only! Two dead mustache men for the price of one Big Bang Attack!
Cell launched his ki blast and Sinestro was the first to respond by creating a forcefield with his ring. The Big Bang Attack exploded, nearly destroying the shield, but the Yellow Lantern held on and flew towards his attacker.
Sinestro: Most impressive. Hopefully you’ll make a better opponent than that masked dog!
Sinestro formed an array of swords and threw them at Cell who casually dodged them before kicking the Yellow Lantern back to the ground. The android then teleported behind Sinestro and launched him with a point blank ki blast. Sinestro regained footing quickly, but didn’t get enough time to react to Cell flying in close for another punch. That was when SMG4 jumped in and stomped Cell’s face into the ground.
SMG4: I got you, fam!
Sinestro: Hahahaha! Marvelous! Let us suppress this filth!
With their alliance established, SMG4 and Sinestro ran towards Cell. Sinestro was the first to strike, using the power of his Lantern Ring to deliver an enhanced punch. Cell blocked it with his arms, but the blow knocked him back several feet. SMG4 followed it up by throwing some Bomb-Ombs that detonated in Cell’s face, dazing him and leaving an opening for SMG4 to beat him up with a series of punches and kicks.
It didn’t last long as Cell grabbed SMG4’s leg mid-kick and tossed him aside. The android flew in to punch the memelord, but Sinestro blocked his attack by protecting his ally with an anvil. Cell punched said anvil and stumbled back from the pain as he held onto his hand.
Cell: Oww! Of all things, why did you have to pick an anvil!
Sinestro moved the anvil to position it on top of Cell.
Cell: Of course…
The anvil was dropped on Cell, crushing him Looney Tunes style. And like a Looney Tunes character, the actual damage done was almost non-existent. Cell exerted his ki, creating a glowing aura that destroyed the anvil in the process. He made his way towards Sinestro who created machine guns to try and slow him down, yet it was in vain as Cell fired a Galick Gun that easily destroyed the constructs.
Sinestro: Impossible! He surpasses the power of fear!?
Cell grabs Sinestro and throws him into the air then sends a ki blast his way to deal further damage. SMG4 thought he had a chance to counterattack and jumped on his back to knock him down, yet with the power Cell was exerting that task was impossible.
Cell: Huh, there seems to be a minor inconvenience on my head.
SMG4: Uh-oh.
The android reached behind him and slammed SMG4 into the Earth before backing away. Sinestro then came in unconscious and fell right onto the memelord’s crotch.
SMG4: Ooooo! My penis!
The Yellow Lantern woke up and got on his feet along with SMG4 and were ready to continue the fight, but the battlefield around them started glitching causing the three fighters to stop.
SMG4: What the?
Infinite: It’s quite amusing watching you three destroy each other, but I’ve grown bored of your pathetic display. I’m ending this myself.
The three look up to see Infinite floating above them which distracts them from his reality warping turning the ground into a field of giant cannons all pointed towards the trio. Said cannons fired massive missiles that bombarded those on the ground. Infinite watched as everything below him was covered in explosions, but to his surprise Sinestro and Cell emerged from the blasts and flew right at him.
Sinestro: Don’t think I forgot about you!
Cell: You’re going to need more than some cheap toys to beat us!
Infinite: That was nothing but a mere parlor trick. Now, despair before the true power of the Phantom Ruby!
Infinite let out an energy blast that knocked his opponents away. Next, he created a small black ball in his hands and threw it before it expanded and sucked everything in like a black hole. Cell and Sinsetro tried flying away, but the pull was too strong. Instead, Cell used his Instant Transmission to teleport himself to safety while Sinestro created an anchor and chain to latch himself onto the ground. Infinite wasn’t letting the latter get away so easily, so he flew over to kick Sinestro into the black hole only to be hit in the face by an unexpected rock.
This caused the jackal to lose concentration, disabling the Phantom Ruby’s powers and deactivating the black hole. Infinite noticed that the rock was thrown by SMG4 so he floated down to deal with what he assumed was the weakest of his targets.
Infinite: Intriguing. You do not appear to possess any power, yet you dare stand against me. Tell me, what would you like your epitaph to read? How about “Here lies the blue buffoon”?
SMG4: Why not “Here dozes the masked clown”? Might as well make it for the person who needs one, right?
Sonic: Hey, that’s my line!
SMG4: Shut up, Sonic! You’re not supposed to appear until later!
Infinite ran up to SMG4 at impossibly fast speeds, catching the memelord by surprise. He proceeded to punch SMG4 hard enough to send him flying and did it a few more times by teleporting his varying locations before he crashed into something. The jackal ended things with a plethora of spheres that he launched at SMG4, doing enough damage to send him to his knees.
Infinite: Do you understand now? No matter how hard you try, you simply cannot beat me.
SMG4: I can’t, but he can.
SMG4 clapped his hands together and a giant circle formed beneath him. The ground began to shake, yet the threat wasn’t coming from below. Infinite felt a huge shadow appear above him and looked up to see what caused it, and what he saw was a being so horrifying that his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his mask.
Mario Head: Ooo, That’s a nice a$$ you got there. Can I have it?
The giant Mario Head flew down to get dat a$$ and kill everything else, though this wouldn’t be done without a fight. About several yards away from where SMG4 and Infinite stood, Perfect Cell, who was standing there since his last teleportation, saw the Mario Head coming and gave a cocky smile about it.
Cell: Didn’t see that coming, but no matter. This is nothing to a man who can destroy planets! KAAAMEHAAAMEHAAA!
Cell fired a two handed ki blast that halted the Mario Head’s movements, but couldn’t make it move the other way. The power struggle between a planet-busting head and a planet-busting laser was so intense that the virtual world couldn’t take it and started cracking.
Sinestro: Stop this at once! You’re destroying the natural order!
Sinestro’s plea was in vain as the cracks got bigger and bigger until reality itself shattered, destroying all its inhabitants and ejecting those who did not belong back to their world.
Heihachi Mishima vs Geese Howard by SoMaShadow (Part 2)[]
Back at Geese Tower, SMG4 and Cell flew out of the TV and landed back on the floor. Tari, who was powering the virtual world, had her eyes return to normal and she looked at the duo in confusion.
Tari: SMG4? Are you ok?
SMG4: I think I cracked my a$$.
Cell: Oh screw him! Where’s the robot that threw us in the TV?
Tari was curious about this question too and looked around for her friend, only to find a Metal Overlord-shaped hole in a nearby window.
Tari: Uhh… I think he left. What are you two doing here anyways?
SMG4: Well we were in the middle of a fight, and I guess we accidentally wandered into this building. I was winning by the way.
Cell: What!? No! I was winning!
SMG4: Nuh-uh!
Cell: Uh-huh!
Their argument was interrupted by Heihachi and Geese falling through the hole made earlier. The former had the latter in his grip and slammed him into the lower floor with a Jumping Powerbomb so extreme that it shook the building and destroyed the support on the top two floors.
SMG4: Oh, and these two started fighting us too.
Without the support, the ceiling started to collapse into chunks and rained down on the five people present. Not being as tough or brave as the others, Tari gave a panicked scream and curled up into a ball.
SMG4: I’ll save you, Tari!
SMG4 ran towards his friend, dodging chunks of the ceiling along the way and shoved her into his pockets like an Animal Crossing Villager.
SMG4: There. Safe, sound, and usable in the foreseeable future.
On the other end of the room, Geese had just made a recovery and saw what had happened to his building. Angry about the unfortunate turn of events, he ripped off his gi and yelled at Heihachi in anger.
Geese: You bastard! The Mishima line ends here!
Heihachi: I’ll snap you like a twig!
The crime lords clashed fists once again, sending an electrical-shockwave throughout the room. They repeated this over and over, doing further damage to the building by shattering the nearby windows. Heihachi tried mixing things up with a low kick to Geese’s shins, but the other fighting game boss anticipated this and blocked it before retorting with a Gedan Atemi-Uchi that knocked Heihachi to the ground. Geese was about to continue his assault when Cell came out of nowhere to get revenge on the man who punched him through the floor.
Cell: Remember me, b*tch!?
Cell struck Geese with a combination of punches and kicks, and was going to end it with a concentrated punch, but Geese caught it with his bare hands.
Geese: Predictable!
Cell: Godd*mmit! I told you to stop saying that!
The two pushed against each other in hopes of overpowering the other. This only gave Heihachi the time to get up, and while the assist was much needed, his pride did not like the idea of being saved by a random stranger.
Heihachi: You should know better than to interfere with a fight between men.
Heihachi rushed at Cell with the intent of kicking the android in the face, but when he let out that kick he felt something catch it, yet the old man saw nothing in front of him that could perform such an action.
Heihachi: What demonic sorcery is this!?
Cell: You thought I came in here on my own? Ha! I’m never alone thanks to my Stand!
It was a good thing Heihachi couldn’t see this Stand because he would have been embarrassed about being upstaged by a muscular version of Winnie the Pooh. Though to be fair, that was the least of his concerns.
Cell: Get him, Moista Fiesta!
Moista Fiesta did what all Stands did best and punched Heihachi thousands of times in one second. Upon sending the old man flying, the Stand summoned a pizza in his hand and aimed it at Geese.
Cell: Pizza Pieda!
Moista Fiesta threw the pizza so hard that it exploded in Geese’s face and sent him flying as well. Both the master martial artists got up and realized that the android was a tougher opponent than they anticipated.
Cell: With my Stand, I’m more than capable of taking on the two of you!
SMG4: Oh yeah, how about the three of us!?
SMG4 ran up to Cell to kick him in the stomach by surprise, sending the android nearly over the edge of the building. Heihachi and Geese joined the Mario recolor at his two sides, and they both had the same goal in mind.
SMG4: This guy is tough, but if we use the power of friendship and work together then we can bring him down!
Sadly, the idea of using friendship did not go well with the villians, but they did like the "bring him down" part.
Heihachi: …Or we can kick his a$$ and throw him off the building.
Geese: I like that idea better.
SMG4: Ok, fine. We’ll just do that.
The three charged in sync with the intent of pushing Cell over the edge, but the android wasn’t going to back down. Using Moista Fiesta, Cell summoned more pizzas to hold off his attackers.
Cell: Come on and hit me with your best shot!
Cell threw the pizzas, but Geese countered with a Double Reppuken that destroyed them. This allowed SMG4 and Heihachi to close in on their target, though Moista Fiesta was not going to let that happen. The Stand got the drop on Heihachi again and punched him to the ground before going after SMG4. However, the memelord saw this and knew he was going to be attacked so he did a massive jump that got him over Moista Fiesta right as it tried to punch him.
Now within range of Cell, SMG4 took out a hammer and tried to whack Cell on the head with it. The android blocked the blow, but could feel himself moving closer off the edge. Cell acted quickly and launched SMG4 away with a ki blast. It seemed to have saved him until Heihachi came in to strike with an electricity-filled uppercut that sent Cell into the air. For the finishing touch, Geese walked in and prepared his Rashomon which hit Cell in his crotch and sent him off the edge and plummeting to his doom. Geese looked over the cliff and watched Cell fall while screaming and holding his arm out.
Geese: So that’s what it looks like.
Heihachi: Glad that’s settled. Are you two still wanting to fight?
SMG4: Nah, I’m good. You two keep doing your thing, I’m going to go get a burrito.
SMG4 made his way to the elevator, but stopped when he heard a “fwoosh” sound. He turned around to see that Cell was alive, floating in the air, and charging up a sh*t ton of ki in his hand.
Cell: Did you forget I can f*cking fly!?
SMG4: Ah crap. ABANDON SHIP!
SMG4 ran for his life and jumped out a window, escaping right as Cell blew up the top of Geese Tower and killed everyone still on it. It was a close call, but now SMG4 was the one falling off the building and heading towards the next cameo.
Leonardo vs Sonic by SpeedyHedgehog91[]
Many hours had passed since SMG4 and Cell entered Geese Tower and it was now nightfall. The streets had gone quiet with the exception of two blue-clad anthropomorphic animals: Leonardo the Ninja Turtle and Sonic the Hedgehog. They had just broken out into a brawl on the rooftops with Leo throwing shurikens and Sonic maneuvering around them. The hedgehog was about to throw a punch, but Leo switched his ammunition to smoke bombs and fogged up the battlefield.
Sonic: What’s the matter, freakshow? Scared to fight me now?
Leonardo: I wouldn’t say that’s the case.
Sonic tried to find Leo, only for the turtle to find him first and snag his leg with a grappling hook. Leo used the hook to yank Sonic off the roof and onto the concrete ground below. He intended to go after the hedgehog until another blue figure dropped in unintentionally causing the turtle to halt his movements. SMG4 landed on the road hard enough to crater it and Sonic was lucky enough to run out of the way in time to avoid being crushed too.
Sonic: Woah buddy, watch where you’re going.
SMG4: Sorry about that. Some green a$$hole just threw me off a building.
Sonic, assuming it was the same green guy that threw him off a building, the hedgehog looked up towards Leo in anger.
Sonic: What is your deal, shell-for-brains!? Do you do this to everyone you meet!?
Leonardo: Don’t look at me, I didn’t throw him off!
Cell: Yeah, sorry, that was me.
Everyone looked up to see Cell flying down to address the situation.
Cell: Didn’t mean to interrupt whatever the hell you’re doing. I’m just going to disintegrate that d*ckhead real quick and I’ll be out of your way.
Cell fired a few rounds of ki blasts that SMG4 dodged before running away from the android. Refusing to give up the chase, Cell continued by getting closer to the ground and preparing an even bigger attack.
Cell: Kamehame-Suck My D*ck!
The massive laser moved quick enough to catch up to SMG4 and blasted him to a nearby building that immediately went kablooey. Cell smirked at his successful attack, but unfortunately destruction of public property did not sit well with the two other heroes. Leo was the first to respond by jumping off the building and slicing Cell’s arm clean off. He landed on the ground and turned around to point a sword at Cell as a declaration of war.
Leonardo: Sorry bug man, but you won’t destroy this city while I’m around.
Sonic: Finally, something we can agree on. Let’s show him what for!
Being the brasher and faster one, Sonic led the charge with a Homing Attack that bashed Cell right in the face. The hedgehog did a few more Homing Attacks until Cell was pushed far beyond reach. This played in the android’s favor as it gave him enough time to regenerate his missing arm and use it to smack Sonic away before he could land another attack.
Leonardo jumped in next with a twin-sword swing that Cell narrowly dodged. The turtle continued swinging his blades, but since Cell was already aware of the blades’ power, he blocked their swings though ki-powered strikes from his fists. In the midst of their clashing, Cell heard something grinding on the concrete and looked behind him to see Sonic charging up his Spin Dash. The hedgehog let loose and tried to tackle Cell at blindingly fast speeds, yet Cell acted faster and used Instant Transmission to get away resulting in Sonic tackling Leo in the stomach instead.
Leonardo: Can’t you see where you’re going!
Sonic: Don’t blame me! Hornhead’s the one messing things up!
Cell: Technically it’s a hat. I’m not sure why everyone thinks its horns.
Sonic noticed Cell right behind him and tried to punch him immediately only for Cell to teleport away again. Leo had the same instinct, but being the slower of the two he ended up kicking Sonic just after the hedgehog missed his swing.
Sonic: That was on purpose wasn’t it!
Leonardo: It might have been.
Sonic: That’s it! Forget that bug man, I’m taking you out first!
Sonic and Leo got so mad at each other that they resumed their personal fight and that was exactly what Cell had planned. The android watched from a distance for a while then decided to kill them.
Cell: That was fun, but it’s time to move on.
Cell pointed his hand at the unaware duo which would have resulted in them exploding if not for the timely intervention of a Deathbus charging at high speeds. The sound of the motor caught the attention of Leonardo, Sonic, and the man it ran over: Cell. SMG4 emerged from the Deathbus and held his hands on his hips triumphantly, thinking he had won.
SMG4: I did it! I saved the world!
Too bad he didn’t save the world. Cell unleashed a massive explosion of ki that disintegrated the Deathbus and blasted SMG4 to where Leo and Sonic stood.
SMG4: My baby!
Cell: I’ll give you some credit. You are a lot more persistent than most of the a$$holes I fight, but that just means your death will be all the more painful!
Cell’s anger almost made SMG4 crap his pants as the memelord knew he would need some help. Fortunately, there were two fellow heroes in blue who could provide that assistance.
SMG4: Listen up! This guy is tough, but if we use the power of friendship and work together then we can bring him down!
Leonardo: You’re right! On our own we are weak, but together we are strong!
Sonic: Yeah! We’ll show that creep the real superpower of teamwork!
SMG4: Wow. That went a lot more smoothly than last time.
Cell: Hold on. Did SMG4 just repeat his line from earlier? Is the writer getting lazy alr-
Before Cell could question my awesome writing, Sonic spun around for another Spin Dash and SMG4 kicked him for extra propulsion. The hedgehog spun right into Cell’s chest, pushing him dozens of feet away. Sonic then bounced off and Cell tried to destroy him with a ki blast, but all of a sudden a portal opened and Sonic went through it to avoid the attack. Curious, Cell walked up to the portal to see where it went and was met with an Odachi sword stabbing him in the face.
Cell: Yup. Should have seen that coming.
Leo came out of the portal and used his new sword to decapitate Cell. The android wasn’t fazed as he grew his head back immediately so Leo created another portal to escape and kept reappearing to surprise attack Cell and hack off random limbs. Cell didn’t waver as his regeneration kept up with the speed of Leo’s attacks and he eventually caught the turtle by his neck.
It didn’t seem like Leo could escape, but he didn’t have to as he prepared a backup plan. SMG4 popped out of Leo’s last portal armed with a rocket launcher that he fired at point-blank range. The explosion launched Cell and freed Leo from his grip, yet the attack wasn’t over as Sonic zoomed in from nowhere to catch Cell before he hit the ground.
Sonic: Burst!
Taking out a Burst Wisp, Sonic transformed into a big red fireball, charged up energy, and detonated right below Cell. The android rocket upwards though Sonic wasn’t done attacking. He jumped into the air and charged up another detonation that smashed Cell into the ground. The hedgehog zoomed in for another blast, but Cell was quicker this time and kicked him in the balls so hard that it undid his transformation.
Sonic: If bread in French is pain, then I own a F*CKING BAKERY!
Cell smacked Sonic aside and his two teammates rushed to his aid.
Cell: You think you can stop me and save the day? Hate to break it to you, but you’re no heroes, just nuisances.
SMG4: You want a hero, huh? I’ll show you one!
SMG4 took out a blue mushroom and activated his powers.
SMG4: I uhh… f*cking uh… BLUE! Blue yea… ah f*ck sh*t ah!
The mushroom lit up and gave SMG4 a blue chicken hat and mask, transforming him into a Mushroom Ranger.
Cell: You think being a Power Ranger is going to help? I can do that too, you know! It’s morphin time!
Cell took out a Dragon Ball and activated it’s powers.
Cell: Gohan’s a f*ggot!
Cell transformed into a Green Power Ranger to match his newly transformed opponent.
Leonardo: Why do I hate you both for this?
SMG4: So you can do that too. But do you have a Zord?
Cell: A what now?
Cell was then crushed by the a$$ of a giant Hank Hill who pounded him multiple times in an attempt to make the android a pancake.
Hank Hill: This is what I do, I sit on you! Sit on you! Sit on you!
The crushing took away Cell’s ranger powers, but he still had enough strength to push Hank off of him.
Cell: F*ck it! Time to pull a Frieza!
Cell concentrated his energy causing a complete metamorphosis of his body. His skin turned gold and his power levels skyrocketed to new heights. He was now the most perfect being in Dragon Ball fanfiction, Golden Cell.
Cell: What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?
Goku Black: Am I a joke to you?
Sonic: That’s nothing a cheap knockoff if you ask me!
Sonic proved his statement by taking out seven Chaos Emeralds and absorbing their power to become Super Sonic.
Leonardo: Well, if we’re pulling out the big guns.
With no explanation, Leo transformed into a massive dragon and let out a mighty roar.
Cell: Can anyone please explain to me how that makes sense?
He spat out a blue fireball only for Cell to effortlessly smack it away. The turtle dragon then charged at Cell and SMG4 got on Hank Hill to join them. Leo slashed with his dragon call and Hank Hill threw a propane-powered punch, but Cell caught both attacks with his bare hands and disintegrated them both with two gigantic ki blasts.
The only one left was Sonic who headed straight for his enemy in hopes of tackling him so hard that he exploded into a pool of blood. Cell saw the attempt as laughable and held out his hand to form an explosion around Sonic big enough to cover the whole city.
Cell: Sonic Adventure 3 is canceled, b*tch!
That attack did not go as planned as Sonic came out of the explosion and kicked Cell into the air following it up with a few lightspeed tackles to keep him there.
Sonic: Nice try! But this form is physically invulnerable!
Cell: So I can’t scar you physically…
Cell flies up to Super Sonic and grabs him by the neck.
Cell: But what about mentally?
Cell Instant Transmissions himself and Sonic to another universe before dropping him off and leaving.
Cell: So long, sucker!
Sonic: Wait, where am I?
Sonic hears someone approach him from behind and turns around to see Tails with a seductive look and a 10-foot long wiener.
Tails?: Hey sexy, welcome to the Sonic Fanfiction Universe.
Back in the main universe, Cell could hear Sonic screaming at the top of his lungs despite being in another plain of exsistence, indicating that the mental scarring had worked.
Cell: Ha haa! Perfect!
His moment of glory was interrupted by a still alive dragon Leo biting down on him. It looked like the dragon had swallowed him whole, that is until Cell blew up his head from the inside and watched Leo’s corpse fall to the ground.
Cell: Son of a b*tch! I can’t believe he survived! Are there any other survivors I need to know about!?
SMG4: Ooo! Ooo! I survived!
Cell then noticed Mushroom Ranger SMG4 raising his hand in enthusiasm, but the memelord quickly put his hand down.
SMG4: Wait, I probably shouldn’t have told you that.
Golden Cell fired his laser at SMG4 to send him flying again and their one-on-one fight continued.
Now you’re probably wondering what happened to Bunny Cat and Cider, and if you’re not then too bad because I’m going to tell you anyway. After Speedy got mad and turned into a giant-robot-hedgehog-thing he chased the two off the building and they engaged in a climatic battle of epic proportions. But that battle was now over and Speedy’s parts layed scattered across the floor with no signs of life.
Cider: (*Huff puff*) Finally! After seven hours, we finally killed him!
Bunny Cat: Yes we did! Who would have thought lightning could hurt a robot?
Cider: Anyone! Everyone would think to do that! I swear if you used your Thunderbolt from the start-
It was at that moment SMG4 came flying by and crashed into a nearby wall.
Cider: God*mmit!
Bunny Cat: It’s him! Quick, let’s get his autograph!
Without hesitating, Bunny Cat ran over to finally meet his hero SMG4. The memelord was still recovering from the last blow with his senses out of whack. This left everything to blurry as he looked up to see a flash of yellow heading towards him. He thought it was the gold skin of Cell and panicked, kicking Bunny Cat by accident and launching him into Cider. It was then his sight was restored and SMG4 noticed that he had unintentionally harmed some innocent Pokémon.
SMG4: Oh God! I’m so sorry!
Cider: Ow. Bunny, are you ok?
Bunny Cat: He kicked me… I am never washing this face again! This is the best day ever!
Cider: Well I guess everything worked out in the end. Good thing this ended without our sudden and unexpected demise.
Cell: Coming through!
Golden Cell flew into Bunny Cat and Cider at such great speed that it made them explode, thus bringing their sudden and unexpected demise. He planned to do the same to SMG4, but the memelord slid under him and threw a Bomb-Omb that lodged itself in the android’s perfect buttcheeks. It detonated right as Cell turned around, propelling him closer to his opponent who attacked with a super powerful kick. Cell was sent flying down the street until he used the power of flight to stop himself.
SMG4: I don’t care if you’re green, gold, or even some other color like white! I’m still going to pound your a$$ with my fists!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
Cell: Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!
The two closed in on each other when something from above rained down between them and knocked them away. They halted their battle and watched the dust clear as a new challenger made their debut. It was another Eevee, but this one had a natural brown color and emitted a very powerful ki.
PowerfullEevee: Stop right there criminal scum! I’m here to stop you from destroying this city!
SMG4: What!? We’re not destroying the city!
PowerfullEevee: Then how do you explain the cafe in ruins, the top of that building exploding, and the headless corpse of that dragon over there!?
Cell: I mean, that thing does have a point. We are kinda destroying this city as collateral damage.
SMG4: But that was all you! I haven’t done anything!
PowerfullEevee: You're just as guilty too! I saw you kick a Pokémon!
SMG4: Oh… about that-
PowerfullEevee didn’t care for the explanation and proceeded to headbutt SMG4. They then did a quick flip to smack the memelord into the air with their tail.
Knowing his a$$ was next, Cell tried to get ahead of his opponent and fired a ki blast at them, but PowerfullEevee was just too fast and jumped out of the way before countering with a series of stars known as Swift. The android tried to fly into the air to avoid the stars, though he didn’t know about their homing effect and they changed direction to hit Cell one at a time. Once the last Swift star dissipated PowerfullEevee jumped above Cell to strike downwards with their front paws.
The attack missed as Cell disappeared before contact and reappeared in front of the Pokémon. PowerfullEevee was about to make a second attempt when they heard something coming from above.
SMG4: Look out from above!
SMG4 came down to deliver a dropkick that sent PowerfullEevee back to the ground. The memelord followed it up by launching a volley of fireballs and Cell joined him with his own Continuous Energy Bullets. This attempt only pushed PowerfullEevee to fight harder and so they yelled at the top of their lungs and went Super Saiyan 2 complete with the necessary hairdo.
They flew up, charging through the projectiles like they were nothing and were about to hit SMG4 with their paw, but Cell, being experienced in this sort of situation, intercepted the Pokémon and grabbed them by their blond hair.
Cell: Do you have any idea how many Saiyans I’ve dealt with in my career?
Cell struck PowerfullEevee in the chest with a ki blast, sending them into the Earth hard enough to crater and SMG4 landed on the ground to meet his target and bombard them with bullets from his handguns. The bullets launched PowerfullEevee across the street and they were now severely injured. They also saw both SMG4 and Cell appearing in front of them and knew they weren’t going to last much longer.
Cell: It’s over you cat-dog hybrid! I’m putting you down!
SMG4: Super cool anime-style combined attack, go!
PowerfullEevee: Crap! It looks like I have no other choice! Time for my secret weapon!
PowerfullEevee pulled out a mysterious detonator right as SMG4 and Cell began to charge in for the finishing blow. The two were moments away from throwing their synchronized punches when PowerfullEevee pushed the detonator unleashing something of extreme unholiness:
SMG4: Oh no! It’s Rick Ashley!
Cell: What the fuuuuuuu-
Through the power of Rick Ashley, all of reality became distorted and SMG4 and Cell received massive damage as they were whisked away to who knows where.
Part 2: Fightin’ Around The World[]
Yoel Jun vs Cody Nutkiss by Sharkboy305[]
Cell woke up in shock, having been knocked out by Rick Ashley. His Golden form was gone though that was the least of his concerns at the moment.
Cell: W-What the!? What happened!? Where did Rick Ashley go?
The android got a quick look of his surroundings and noticed that he was now in a baseball field and that did not make him happy.
Cell: Godd*mmit! Is this another fight cameo? I’m getting sick of these already, and I feel like we're not even halfway done!
Cell was then greeted by someone crashing right next to him. It was a Magikoopa with the misfortune of being named Cody Nutkiss.
Cell: Yeah, yeah. I know what to do. (*talks sarcastically*) Oh my gosh sir, are you ok? I hope nothing bad happened to you that would require my intervention.
Cody: Huh? Yeah, I’m ok. Just a little bruised is all.
Cell: By the way, you have something on your back.
Cody: I do?
Cody reached behind him and felt something big on his back. He scrapped it off and saw that it was his Pokémon, Butterfree, who had been crushed as a consequence of him being sent flying earlier.
Cody: Oh my gosh, Butterfree! Are you ok?
Cell: D*mn, your Pokémon took quite a beating there.
Cody: Guess the opponent was too much for him. If only there was a way to make him stronger.
Cell: I know a way to make him stronger.
Cody: Wait, really?
Cell: Of course, I used to be a Pokémon Trainer myself, until my Jigglypuff left me, evolved, got super jacked, and joined some bootleg Legion of Doom.
Cody: Uh-huh… can you show me how to make my Butterfree stronger.
Cell: It’s simple really, all you do is this.
Cell took out a bat and used it to whack Butterfree repeatedly breaking it’s legs.
Cody: Stop it you monster! What are you doing!?
Cell: Don’t worry, I’ve done this plenty of times before. This stimulates the pain of battle experience and makes it stronger. Plus it builds character.
Cody: What kind of r*tard told you that!?
Cell: Kermit the Frog.
Cell pulls out a gun and shoots Butterfree to further “train” it.
Cody: I’m calling the police. You are clearly mental.
Yoel: Hey… uh, Cody was it? Are we still fighting?
Cody turned to see the guy he was originally fighting, a young looking vampire named Yoel Jun. The Magikoopa wanted to get back to fighting him, but first he had to save his Pokémon from the sociopathic android beating it up.
Cody: Yeah, I just need a minute to deal with this jerk over here. You, give me that bat!
Cell: F*ck off! This is my bat! Get your own!
Cell and Cody started wrestling for control of the bat, leaving Yoel all on his lonesome.
Yoel: This might take a while. What am I supposed to do now?
SMG4: (*mutters*) No, stay in the basement kiddies.
Yoel’s enhanced hearing caught the disturbing sleep talking of SMG4, stripped of his Mushroom Ranger powers, lying right next to him. Thinking this might be a good way to pass the time, Yoel gave SMG4 a light kick to wake him up.
SMG4: Huh? What? Who’s there?
Yoel: Hey you. Do you wanna fight?
SMG4: Do I have a choice?
Yoel: Nope.
Yoel took out one of his Sound Emitters and threw it. The memelord caught it, albeit he was unaware of the danger.
SMG4: What’s this? A nickel?
The Sound Emitter let out a high-frequency sound blast that aggressively entered SMG4’s ears and made his head explode from the inside.
SMG4: Oh.
Yoel rushed in and grabbed SMG4 to slam him into the ground a few times before tossing him high into the air. He followed it up by summoning his Demonic Chains that grabbed the memelord by the legs and reeled him in quickly.
SMG4 regenerated his head and saw his dilemma to which he responded by taking out a gun and shooting Yoel in the face. The bullet briefly dazed the vampire forcing him to undo the chains and free SMG4, but the Mario recolor decided to keep heading towards him as a retaliation. He tried to stomp on Yoel’s skull only for the vampire to dodge by teleporting.
Yoel reappeared behind SMG4 and tried to punch him, yet the latter was quicker and blocked before countering with a kick. SMG4 kept the pressure going and hit Yoel with a few more punches then jumped into the air to slam the vampire with a Ground Pound.
The memelord hoped he could keep the vampire down, but Yoel used his Sound Emitters to blast SMG4 into the air like a rocket. Upon escaping SMG4’s a$$, Yoel jumped back and waited for the memelord to crash back down then used his Blast Smoke to blind him. This confused SMG4 as the smoke's effects made it impossible to see his surroundings. It also caused several Yoel to surround him and SMG4 couldn’t tell where the real one was. In his state of panic, SMG4 resorted to something no man should ever do: make an Among Us joke.
SMG4: Crap there are so many, but only one is sus! …And it’s you!
SMG4 ran up to Yoel and punched him in the face, but he dissipated into smoke as if he was never there at all.
Yoel #6 was not The Imposter
This did not bother SMG4 because he knew if he kept hitting clones, he would eventually find the real one.
SMG4: I mean you!
Yoel #2 was not The Imposter
SMG4: You!
Yoel #7 was not The Imposter
SMG4: You?
Yoel #4 was not The Imposter
SMG4: Well which one is it?
Yoel: Me.
Yoel #1 grabbed SMG4 from behind with his Demonic Chains and spun him around quickly before releasing the chains to make the memelord fly dozens of feet away. SMG4 landed on his head making it look hilariously squished. He saw Yoel in the distance, flying towards him to continue the assault and thought he was screwed until Cody landed next to him, charred black and on fire. Cody didn’t seem to mind as he slowly held up Cell’s bat triumphantly.
Cody: I got the bat…
SMG4: Thank you, I needed that.
SMG4 swiped the bat out of Cody’s hands and used it to whack Yoel right as he got in range. The vampire fell unconscious as he crashed to the floor, thus removing one threat to SMG4’s life just as another threat appeared from behind.
Cell: Oh look, it’s my bat, and the guy who’s a$$ I’m going to shove it in.
SMG4: You again! Stay back!
SMG4 thought of the best way to ward off Perfect Cell and decided to throw the bat at him, but Cell caught it with his bare hands.
Cell: Thank you.
The memelord realized his mistake and did a facepalm. Cell got close and prepared to break SMG4’s legs with the bat only for a spinning shell to come in and knock the bat out of his hands. A blue turtle popped out of the shell and while SMG4 and Cell didn’t recognize it, Cody did and got up to greet the turtle.
Cody: Oh thank God, Squirtle! Quick, use Bubblebeam!
Squirtle fired a stream of bubbles that pushed Cell away. Some of those bubbles went off course and came towards SMG4.
SMG4: Aww, they look so pretty.
One of the bubbles burst right in SMG4’s face, blinding him on contact.
SMG4: Oh God! There’s soap in my eyes!
SMG4 flailed around in pain, and in doing so he accidentally kicked Squirtle beyond the horizon just in time for his sight to be restored.
SMG4: D*mn it! Not again!
Cody: You hurt my Pokémon, you idiot!
SMG4: Hey, I’m not an idiot!
Cody: Not yet you aren’t!
Cody pulled out his Stupid Ray and zapped SMG4 with it, turning him into a r*tard.
SMG4: Der der derderder derp.
Cody: So tell me, who exactly is an idiot?
SMG4: Deeeeer… broccoli?
Cody: …Why did I even bother asking?
It was at this point Cell fired his Special Beam Cannon to destroy the Studpid Ray, angering Cody as he prepared to face the android once again.
Cody: Hey! Don’t break my inventions!
Cell: Don’t steal my f*cking bat!
Cody: Don’t use that bat to abuse Pokémon!
Cell: Don’t hate me for being a competitive Trainer!
Cody: That’s it! I have had it with your crap!
Cody brought out his lightsaber so that he could slice Cell into pieces, and the android did the same with his own lightsaber.
Cell: You’re out of your league, kid! I’ve got the high ground here!
Cody: You underestimate my power!
The two proceeded to engage in their epic lightsaber battle. Cody took advantage of his shorter stature by jumping around to strike from different angles and keep Cell on the defensive. Despite his efforts, Cody couldn’t get a hit in either as Cell blocked every single strike. The Magikoopa became frustrated and started throwing harder swings at the cost of slowing down and that was exactly what Cell wanted.
The longer strikes gave Cell enough time to teleport behind Cody and try to slice his head off. Cody barely had enough time to dodge that attack, but Cell still kicked him away and sent a few ki blasts to follow him. The Magikoopa quickly recovered to deflect the blast though this was only a diversion for Cell to get in close again and slice off the arm Cody used to hold his lightsaber.
Cody: Aaaagh! My hand!
Cell: Look at you. You’re Luke Skywalker, except you won’t live long enough to see those garbage sequels.
Cody: I’m not done yet, handsome bug man!
Cody reached into his pocket and pulled out one last weapon: a giant robot with a huge claw named Mebo.
Cody: Get him, Mebo!
Mebo rammed into Cell, sending him far away from Cody. It then grabbed Cell’s waist with its claw and slammed him into the ground repeatedly.
Mebo: HAHAHAHAHA!
Cell struggled to escape from the robot’s claw, but then he noticed his bat lying on the ground and tried to reach it. The task was difficult with him being swung up and down, though it was only a matter of time until he grabbed it and used the bat to break Mebo’s arm and destroy the rest of the robot. With the mechanized monstrosity out of the way, only a defenlesses Cody remained in the way of Cell, who was all too eager to beat him up.
Cody: Oh no.
Meanwhile, SMG4 was spinning around randomly when the effects of the Stupid Ray wore off and returned him to normal.
SMG4: Aah! That was horrible! I felt like Mario for a second!
SMG4 reanalyzed his surroundings and found Cell beating Cody to death with his bat. Cody reached out to the memelord in hopes that somebody would save him.
Cody: Help… me…
Unfortunately, SMG4 was still p*ssed about being made stupid so he brought out his other bat and joined in on the beatdown.
SMG4: This is oddly soothing.
Cell: I know right!
Their beatdown was unexpectedly interrupted when a Sound Emitter fell down and landed right next to the two YouTubers.
Cell: Hey look, a nickel.
The Sound Emitter went off and blasted the two away, putting them flat on their backs where they could see a conscious Yoel Jun flying above them.
Yoel: You two ruined our fight! I’ll make you pay with your lives!
SMG4: Ha! There’s two of us and one of you! What makes you think you can do this on your own?
Cody: Actually… I’m still alive.
Cell took out his gun real quick and shot Cody until he died.
Cell: Sorry about that. Carry on.
Yoel: I can beat you because I’m a vampire who can freeze time.
Cell: So you’re DIO?
Yoel: Who?
Cell: Nevermind.
Cell shot out a laser from his hand to kill Yoel, but the vampire used his Allurick Shield to absorb the blow and make him untouchable.
SMG4: Crap! He could freeze time at any second and kill us both! There has to be a way to stop him!
Cell: You’re right! Time for a new plan!
Yoel: Too bad you won’t get to use it! It's time freezing time!
Yoel activated his Time freezing slowing everything in existence to a halt for 3 minutes nanoseconds. The effects wore off before he could do anything leaving him astonished by the events.
Yoel: What the!? That’s not possible!
Cell: Maybe to you, but I bribed the writer to shorten your time freeze so that it would be completely useless!
SMG4: You bribed him? With what?
Cell: Don’t worry about it. Point is there is nothing you have that can stop us now!
Yoel: I still have my Soul Beam.
Cell: I’m sorry, what?
So this is the prostitute-killing sandal from the Coochie Wars and now it’s mine… I mean Yoel fired a big yellow laser at SMG4 and Cell meant to eradicate their soul. However, the two were too tough for that to happen so instead the laser blasted them through the Earth and towards the other end of the planet.
Bowser: What!? NO! I’m not doing a stupid cameo!
On the other side of the world, was Equestria, a once happy land of ponies that was now ruled by the tyrannical Bowser after the events of a certain Death Battle. Currently, the Koopa King was sitting on his throne arguing with the person who made his conquest possible.
Omniversia999: Listen here! I had to sacrifice my user cameo to make this happen. Now you are going to fight SMG4 and Cell, you are going to like it, and it will be awesome!
Bowser: Look, bub! I’ve heard about the last time Professor Mewtwo did cameos and I’m pretty sure another me died from it! I can’t afford to kick the bucket now, I got a kingdom to rule! So tell those two U-tumors or whatever you call them to take a detour and stay away from here!
Omniversia999: Yeah, it’s kinda too late for that…
Right at that moment, SMG4 and Cell came out from the ground and landed in front of Bowser. SMG4 got up first and saw Bowser, mistaking him for the dimwitted version from his videos.
SMG4: Hey, Bowser! How are the kids you suck at taking care of?
Realizing the fight was inevitable, Bowser got real mad and crushed his phone.
Bowser: Oh motherf*cker! Fine, but this time I’m showing the full might of the Koopa King! Magical pony army, assemble!
At his command, a plethora of armored ponies entered the room standing between Bowser and his two intruders.
Cell: You’re seeing these things too, right?
SMG4: Yeah.
Cell: Good. For a second I thought Kermit drugged me again.
Pinkie Pie: ATAAAAAAACK!
The pony army charged at SMG4 and Cell and the latter acted quickly by handing his blue-rival a pair of shades.
Cell: Quick, put these on!
SMG4: How are these going to help!
Cell: They’ll make us look cool as me mow these motherf*ckers down!
Cell put on his own pair of shades and pulled out two AK-47s. SMG4 got the idea, put on his shades and pulled out his minigun. The two fired their guns, riddling the pony army with bullets and killing them before they got close. Bowser saw his minions get decimated in record time, and it made him even more furious.
Bowser: My minions! I guess if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!
Bowser jumped off his throne and landed several feet away from SMG4 and Cell. He slowly walked towards them, powering through the bullets causing his opponents to step away.
Cell: The guns aren’t working! They aren’t f*cking working!
SMG4: Then let’s try this!
SMG4 swapped out his minigun for a smartphone and typed something in. It didn’t look like he would have time to finish as Bowser was now in range to punch him.
Bowser: Time to die, weaklings!
SMG4: Not before you see this!
SMG4 turned the phone around to reveal a series of Bowsette pictures. The Koopa King was unaware that the internet had done such horrible things to him and the sudden revelation broke him.
Bowser.exe has stopped working.
SMG4: Gotcha, b*tch!
SMG4 jumped behind SMG4 and did the classic swing-by-the-tail bit to throw him into a wall. His efforts were in vain as Bowser teleported behind SMG4 before he crashed.
Bowser: I’m not going to make this easy for you!
Bowser blasted SMG4 with his ice breath (he can do that in this continuity), encasing his body in ice. Cell was the next to make an attempt and kicked Bowser in the neck.
Bowser: Hey, that tickles!
The Koopa King grabbed Cell and somersaulted into the air for a powerful body slam. He then tucked into his shell and spun around to smack Cell away like a Beyblade. The android flew into the frozen SMG4 and the two were knocked into the wall, destroying the ice surrounding the latter in the process.
SMG4: Can’t you just do that golden thing and get this over with.
Cell: Don’t tell me what to do! But, yeah, you're right.
Cell powered up into his Golden form and charged at Bowser, kicking him into the air and following it up by quickly striking from different angles. With one last kick, Cell knocked Bowser to the ground and prepared a ki blast to finish him off.
Cell: KAAAMEEEHAAAMEEE…
Bowser: I’m not done yet!
Bowser charges up a fireball that would stop Cell’s Kamehameha in its tracks. SMG4 was watching and took out whatever he could find in his pockets to stop the fireball, and what he found was a random sausage.
SMG4: Eat my hot Italian sausage!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
The memelord tossed the sausage into Bowser’s mouth, causing him to choke on it and giving Cell enough time to finish his attack.
Cell: HAAAAA!
Cell launched his Kamehameha and disintegrated Bowser into a pile of ash. The android floated to the ground exhausted from all the fights he had so far, and SMG4 had that very same feeling.
Cell: I can’t keep doing this. I’m not used to fighting so many random characters at once.
SMG4: Yeah, we need to find another way to settle this before we have to deal with something bigger like a planet-sized robot.
Cell: Ok, then what do you suppose we do?
SMG4: Hmm… Mario Kart?
Cell: Maybe, but I know we can think of something better.
Unable to think of anything better, SMG4 and Cell decided to fight each other in a Mario Kart race. The two were in their vehicles at the starting line of Rainbow Road, waiting for the competition to begin.
Cell: You stand no chance against the Mystery Machine! This baby goes from 0 to 60 faster than it takes Zarbon to get erect!
SMG4: Oh yeah, well I’ve driven my Deathbus through the apocalypse, twice! If it can mow over zombies, it can sure as hell mow over you!
Cell: Didn’t I destroy that thing?
SMG4: Yeah, but I fixed it.
The Deathbus’s engine suddenly exploded with smoke coming out the hood.
SMG4: Ah sh*t! Not now!
As SMG4 went to fix the motor, a small boy floated down on a smiling cloud. He looked a lot like Ness, but he wasn't, he was Sharaku Jr. the host of this amazing race.
Sharaku: Hi everybody!
SMG4 and Cell: Hi Sharaku Jr.!
Sharaku: I’m here because Professor Mewtwo dragged me into his universe to host a stupid race. I will probably kill him later for this. But before that let’s go over the rules. It’s simple: whoever makes one lap around the course first wins, karts must be set to 150cc, you can only use items found in Item Boxes, and absolutely NO cheating whatsoever!
Cell: Or else what?
Sharaku: Well you see that moon over there?
Cell: Yeah?
Sharaku points an open hand at the moon and closes it causing the moon to explode from his psychokinesis.
Sharaku: That's what!
Cell: Ok… I think I just sh*t myself.
Sharaku: And most importantly remember to give it your all! Now let’s start the race! Ready…
SMG4: Wait! I’m still fixing my kart!
Sharaku: Set…
SMG4: Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon!
Sharaku: GO!
Sharaku waves down his hand signaling the start of the race. Cell immediately zooms off in the Mystery Machine, but SMG4 was still fixing his Deathbus. He moved as fast as physically possible to get everything working again and hopped in the driver’s seat to start the race.
Cell started with an incredible lead and SMG4 tried to get ahead of him only for the android to block him at every opportunity. It wasn’t until they smashed through some Item Boxes that things started to change. Cell got lucky with his items and pulled the Triple Green Shell which he immediately threw at his opponent.
Cell: Prepare to get shell shocked!
SMG4 expertly maneuvered around the first two and mocked Cell for his bad aim.
SMG4: Ha! You missed me!
However, the third shell crashed right through the windshield and crushed SMG4’s face. He wasn’t harmed badly, so he shrugged off the damage and made his comeback.
SMG4: Ok, now it’s time for my item.
SMG4 took out a rocket launcher which made Cell angry and confused.
Cell: Oh come on! Ref, that’s not a legal Mario Kart item! Disqualify him!
Sharaku pulled out a rulebook labeled “Rules of Mario Kart: Meme Edition” and flipped through the pages. He found the list of items and saw “Rocket Launcher” on the list right between “Dr. Eggman” and “Fishy Boopkins’ GPS”
Sharaku: Nope, it’s apparently legal in this format.
Upon getting approval from Sharaku, SMG4 launched the rocket and blew up the back door of the Mystery Machine and revealed the contents inside.
SMG4: Is that a hostage!?
Cell looked in the back of the Mystery Machine and saw your favorite anime character tied up and gagged, seemingly screaming at SMG4 to help him escape.
Cell: Huh? Black forgot to get his groceries out of the van! Oh well, might as well make the most of it.
Cell left the wheel and kicked the hostage out of his kart. It hit SMG4’s Deathbus causing it to spin out of control. Sharaku saw this too and considered the living projectile to be a non-Item Box item and therefore illegal.
Sharaku: Oh, that is cheating! Eh, screw it, karma will deal with him in a second.
Cell: Ah ha haa! Wait, shouldn’t I be driving?
With no driver at the wheel, the Mystery Machine proceeds to fall off an oncoming cliff. Cell fell along with it and caught a glimpse of SMG4 passing him while giving him the Luigi Death Stare and a middle finger. Sharaku was almost going to let Cell fall to his doom, but then changed his mind to do the right thing.
Sharaku: I’d say that’s enough punishment.
Sharaku telekinetically lifted the Mystery Machine and got it back on the road, putting him back into the race.
Sharaku: Have we learned our lesson about cheating?
Cell: Yeah, yeah. Lesson learned. F*ck you.
Cell drove off and tried to get back in the lead. It didn’t take long for him to catch up and SMG4 and Cell were now neck and neck using every boost, ledge, and item to try and get ahead of the other. They eventually neared the finish line and Cell was able to get slightly ahead
Cell: Kiss victory goodbye! I’m the one who’s winning this Death Battle!
SMG4: Oh no you’re not! I held onto my last item precisely for this moment!
SMG4 chucked his last item which was revealed to be a Blue Shell. It hovered right above Cell and prepared to do the thing that had made many people before him rage quit in Mario Kart.
Cell: Ah f*ck!
The Blue Shell slammed down and made a gigantic explosion that took away Cell’s chances at victory. What SMG4 failed to realize though was that he was too close to Cell and the explosion was about to hit him as well.
SMG4: Ah double f*ck!
The explosion devoured them both before clearing, revealing the two combatants lying on the other side of finish line with their karts reduced to nothing but ashes. SMG4 and Cell slowly got up and the latter was too happy about what had transpired.
Cell: I call hax! You can’t destroy my ride like that! It’s unfair!
SMG4: That Blue Shell was 100% legit! You’re just being salty!
Cell: Doesn’t matter if I’m salty, I crossed the finish line first!
SMG4: No, I did, you liar!
Cell: You’re the liar!
SMG4’s and Cell’s bickering led them to slapping each other senselessly, forcing Sharaku to float down and intervene.
Sharaku: About that… this is going to be awkward, but the rules state you have to cross the finish line WITH A KART. And since both of yours were destroyed before that happened, neither of you won and we have to start the race again.
SMG4 & Cell: WHAT!?
Sharaku: Yeah, I know I don’t want to do this either, but I don’t get a choice.
Cell: F*ck that! This was much less annoying when we were fighting each other to the death! I say we get back to doing that!
SMG4: Or we can do Mario Party?
Cell: Nope, we are fighting!
Cell grabbed SMG4 and flew back to the Earth, leaving Sharaku behind at the raceway. The android aimed for the nearest body of water to use in his next attack.
Cell: Drown-a-bitch-no-jutsuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Starfy Vs. SpongeBob SquarePants by ThunderStar20[]
We now go to the seas of Chillydip Cove where Perfect Cell has spent the past half hour pressing SMG4’s head against the ocean floor in an attempt to drown him, yet the memelord had been squirming around to break free the entire time.
Cell: Odd, this usually takes 5 minutes to work. You should have died by now.
SMG4: Well to be honest, I’ve endured much worse than this.
Cell: Hang on, HOW ARE YOU BREATHING UNDERWATER!?
SMG4: How are YOU breathing underwater?
Cell: Touché…
Cell then heard screaming from above and looked up to see three figures about to fall on top of him. The trio consisted of a sponge named SpongeBob, a star named Starfy, and a clam named Moe. (Seriously? Moe? What an uncreative name.) They were about to crash right into Cell when SpongeBob stopped everything to give you a very important message.
SpongeBob: By the way, you’re gay.
Everything resumed and the crash landing scattered everyone, including SMG4 and Cell, to different points on the battlefield.
Moe: Brrr… I-It’s s-so c–c-cold… can we just get out of here Starf?
Starfy looked around and saw the cause of Moe’s problem. The entire terrain was covered in snow, but he didn’t get to think about his friend’s question as SpongeBob burst out of a pile of snow looking inflated.
SpongeBob: SNOWBALL FIGGGGGHT!
SpongeBob rapidly fired snowballs out of his many pores which would have pelted Starfy and Moe if Cell didn’t get up and in the way.
Cell: Hey, where did my drowning victim go!?
Cell was hit with so many snowballs at once that it encased him in a happy snowman complete with hat, coal eyes, and carrot nose of unknown origin. SMG4 then appeared to congratulate SpongeBob on humiliating his enemy.
SMG4: Hey, nice shot!
SpongeBob: Huh? Who are you?
Cell broke out of the snowman and thought of an evil plan that he enacted immediately.
Cell: He’s an evil supervillain who hates happiness, puppies, and anime t*tties! If you don’t stop him now, he’ll destroy the universe with his cringe!
SMG4: What the hell are you doing!?
Cell: You made everyone gang up on me in Part 1, twice! Now it’s my turn to do it to you!
SMG4: Well there’s no way you can convenience this sponge guy that I’m a superv-
SpongeBob: Hi-Yah!
SpongeBob did a karate kick that launched SMG4 several feet away.
SpongeBob: I love the universe too much to let it get destroyed! Have at thee, fiend!
SMG4: D*mmit!
SpongeBob jumped in to throw some more karate moves, but the Memelord blocked them all and countered with a few of his own punches. The memelord subsequently pulled out his sword to slice SpongeBob in half only for said sponge to pull out his spatula and barely hold it off.
Moe: Starfy, if that guy is as evil as that giant plankton says, you need to stop him!
Starfy: Fiii!
Starfy nodded in agreement and hurried to save his former enemy. He used his Ultra Star Spin to strike SMG4 right in the stomach and bring him high above the ground. The memelord was able to endure this and knocked Starfy off with a sword swing.
SMG4: Crap, they really are ganging up on me! What do I do now!?
Cell: What you do is die, b*tch!
SMG4 saw Cell to his left, charging up a Kamehameha. The android fired it to kill his opponent, but SMG4 swam out of the way and into the horizon.
Elsewhere, at the Krusty Kooch, a man in a Shark Suit was making a really big order at the register.
Shallot: So I told him “You gotta put me in this fight! I’m a fan favorite! It’s not DevilArtemis without me!” and he agreed and let me in. But it turns out all I did was the usual “Ha ha! I’m a whatever!” bit and was never heard from again. Nobody even knew I was wearing my Shark Suit for that. It just feels like a real kick in the pants. I deserve more than this, but every time I have a shot at character development, I get sh*t all over. Do you get me? I feel like you get me.
Squidward: Sir, I don’t need to hear your life story. Just give me your order so I can go on break and bust a nut.
Shallot: Ok, fine. I’ll have a-
Suddenly, the Kamehameha busted in and destroyed everything in the Krusty Kooch except an ash-covered Squidward and the manager’s office which Mr. Krabs immediately walked out of.
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, I’m done fingering err… I mean counting me booty. Did you keep the place clean?
Mr. Krabs saw the wreckage that indicated the place was anything but clean.
Mr. Krabs: MR. SQUIDWARD, I SHOULD KICK YOUR-
Ok, enough of that cutaway. Back at the fight, SMG4 was getting up from Cell’s last attack.
SMG4: I’m ok! And nothing of value was lost!
SMG4 looked down and noticed that his legs were gone, having been caught in the Kamehameha and blown off his body.
SMG4: Oh…
There was still one thing worse than losing his legs, and that would be Cell, Starfy, and SpongeBob appearing before him to put the hurt on them. And that is exactly what they did.
Cell: You f*cked now! We have the power of anime, cartoons, and video games on our side. It’s the ultimate threesome!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
SMG4: How does he keep hearing us?
Cell: I don’t know. Anyways, let’s get him guys!
The three charged at SMG4 who tried to swim away, but could only get so far with his top half before SpongeBob caught him with a Jellyfishing Net.
SpongeBob: Order up!
SpongeBob swung SMG4 upwards so hard that the memelord ended up above sea level. That is where three Cell clones were waiting to bombard him with triple Continuous Energy Bullets. The real Cell teleported above the others and fired a ki blast that spiked SMG4 back underwater. While plunging back to the bottom, SMG4 noticed Starfy approaching him and knew he needed to act quickly. He aimed his missing half at where the Pufftop Prince was headed and regrew his legs, creating a surprise drop kick that knocked Strafy to the ground, thus allowing SMG4 to float down to safety… if you exclude the fact that his three enemies were waiting for him.
SMG4: Your threesome won’t be enough because I have a secret weapon! Behold!
SMG4 pulls out an old man.
Old Man: Huh? Where am I?
SMG4: Oops, wrong secret weapon.
SMG4 stuffs the old man away and brings out the actual item: a shotgun.
SMG4: Behold! I got a gun!
Cell: Oh sh*t! He has a gun!
SMG4 repeatedly pulled the trigger and his trio of opponents jumped out of the way to dodge the bullets. They moved to surround the memelord with SpongeBob in the front backed up by Cell and Starfy in the back.
SpongeBob: I’M READY!!!
With spatula in hand, SpongeBob Leeroy Jenkinsed his way to SMG4. Naturally, SMG4 tried to blow his face off with his shotgun, yet all he could seem to do was put more holes into something that already had holes and not slow him down.
SMG4: That’s weird…
Unaware that Toon Force was in effect, SMG4 kept firing. He was able to do some damage this time around, taking chunks off of SpongeBob one shot at a time, but the legs still remained intact and continued running towards SMG4. Giving up on the bullets, the memelord flipped the shotgun around and used it like a golf club to whack SpongeBob away.
SMG4 was then struck from behind by a ki blast that knocked him off his feet. It was fired by Cell who flew in to deliver a punch, but SMG4 got up immediately to shoot Cell’s head clean off before kicking him away. That was when a fully regenerated SpongeBob jumped out from behind to slash with his spatula which was effortlessly blocked by SMG4 swinging his shotgun behind him.
SMG4: Is that all?
The memelord was getting confident, but that only left him open to a missile that exploded right in his face. He turned to see Starfy driving a red submarine and firing more missiles at him.
SMG4: Oh, what the!? Where did he even get that!?
SMG4 dodged the missiles with his acrobatics and tried to destroy the submarine with his shotgun, but the bullets bounced off the vehicle with no effect. He kept trying until suddenly he heard the clicking noise that told him he was out of bullets. At the same time the submarine had gotten up close to the memelord and it made him really nervous.
SMG4: Hehe. This is awkward.
Starfy fired dozens of missiles at once, all of them exploding in SMG4’s face and sending him flying into a giant rock that also exploded. The Pufftop Prince thought he had vanquished his foe, that is until the submarine hatched opened unexpectedly, causing him to turn around to see SMG4 with a serious anime face.
SMG4: あなたはすでに死んでいます! (You’re already dead!)
Starfy: 何!? (What!?)
Nobody questioned how Starfy managed to speak an actual word as SMG4 yanked him out of the cockpit and punted him away. SpongeBob saw that the star needed help and jumped in the air to provide assistance.
SpongeBob: Over here friend!
Starfy saw what SpongeBob was trying to do and landed feet first into his face. Using the sponge’s elastic body, Starfy jumped off him like a trampoline and tried to ram into SMG4 at high speeds.
The memelord is undeterred and jumps towards his attacker, jumping off him with ease and near SpongeBob to ground pound him back into the Earth. SMG4 jumped off the sponge who had to re-inflate himself by blowing on his thumb.
Moe: Come on, sponge! You can do better than that can’t you?
SpongeBob: Shouldn’t you be helping us?
Moe: Does it look like I can fight? I don’t even have limbs!
SMG4 was going to back away from the two when Starfy charged into his back and pushed him closer to SpongeBob and Moe. The two noticed and stopped arguing to fight their real opponent instead.
Moe: We’ve got you surrounded! Your cringe-spreading days are over!
SMG4: You guys got it all wrong! I’m not the bad guy, if anyone is the bad guy it’s him!
SMG4 pointed in Cell’s direction and realizing that he had not seen the android in a while, looked to see what he was doing. His eyes narrowed in fear upon seeing Cell charging up a giant ball of ki that threatened to blow a hole in the ocean. The others noticed too, and figured out that they had been played.
Cell: Hey guys. Thanks again for helping beat this a$$hole, but I have to blow you all up so I can move on with my life.
SpongeBob: But I thought we were friends!?
Cell: I never said that.
Moe: He’s got you there.
Cell: Sayonara!
Cell threw down the ki ball, creating a massive explosion. The android flew down to the resulting wasteland, hoping that his targets had been vanquished, but Stafy spun into his stomach to hit him multiple times. Cell backed away only for SMG4 to come from behind and smack him on the head. Finally SpongeBob used a bubble wand to make a series of bomb that covered Cell in an explosion as a form of payback.
Cell: Godd*mmit! Can’t one of you stay dead!? Specifically a certain someone in a blue hat!
SpongeBob: That was a mean trick back there, but now we're united to stop you once and for all!
SMG4: Yeah!
SpongeBob: And then we’re going to stop that guy in the blue hat so he doesn’t destroy the universe!
SMG4: Oh come on!
SpongeBob: Now let’s get him!
SMG4, SpongeBob, and Starfy dopiled Cell, making a huge cloud of smoke with fists (and whatever Starfy considers for a hand) popping out every second. Cell comically walks out of the smoke cloud, tricking the others into fighting each other instead.
Cell: Morons.
Cell flies away and SMG4 takes notice, leaving the smoke cloud as well to pursue him.
SMG4: Get back here!
It was certainly a weird episode of SpongeBob to be sure, and one of the viewers would certainly agree with that. That viewer was GoCommitDi, who had the appearance of SpongeBob, but he was able to breathe on land and did just that as he watched the fight on his TV.
GoCommitDi: Eh, the newer episodes really don’t have the heart of the old ones. What else is on?
GoCommitDi changed the channel to a new child-friendly show called Come and Learn with Pibby!.
Pibby: ♪ Learning with Pibby. Learning is so fun. We like to spell and we love to hug. Learning with- ♪
Pibby’s song was interrupted by something coming over the horizon. It wasn’t a static-like darkness threatening to consume the multiverse, rather it was Cell who flew past Pibby and company.
Pibby: What is that!?
SMG4: Come back here and fight me!
SMG4 followed suit, carrying a King Bomb-Omb that he intended to throw at Cell.
Cell: If you insist.
Cell fired a ki blast at SMG4 causing him to stumble and drop the bomb.
Pibby: Uh-oh.
The King Bomb-Omb exploded all over Pibby’s world. GoCommitDi saw this and was concerned about SMG4 and Cell appearing on his TV twice.
GoCommitDi: That can’t happen three times, can it?
GoCommitDi changed the channel to The Amazing World of Gumball where Richard Watterson was flipping through channels and having a similar problem as his viewer. For some reason Gumball and Darwin kept appearing on every channel.
Richard: I think I’ve finally watched too much TV! Maybe I should read a book!
Richard grabbed a book and opened it.
Richard: Chapter 1: Perfect Cell crashed into the house of GoCommitDi and ruined the living room.
GoCommitDi: Isn’t he supposed to say-
Perfect Cell crashed into GoCommitDi’s house and ruined the living room leaving the latter with a “Surprised Patrick” face. SMG4 entered the room next holding the bat he used to knock Cell in there in the first place.
SMG4: You like that? Cause I’m not done with whipping your a$$ yet!
Cell: Oh please, I let you have that one! Now it’s my turn to whip your a$$!
SMG4 and Cell whipped each other’s a$$es, creating more damage with every blow. GoCommitDi knew he couldn’t let this go on and snapped out of his shock.
GoCommitDi: My house! There’s only one thing to do at a time like this!
Like the courageous Sir Robin, GoCommitDi bravely ran away and locked himself in a nearby closet, the place he assumed would not be damaged.
GoCommitDi: You fiends can’t get me in here! I am invincible!
Neither SMG4 and Cell heard GoCommitDi as they were too busy fighting each other. The two backed up and charged up big attacks with SMG4 making a huge fireball and Cell using another Galick Gun. They launched their energy attacks which collided to make an explosion that leveled GoCommitDi’s house. Cell then decided to keep fighting at a long distance and flew into the air, removing himself from the premises while firing ki blasts to keep SMG4 at bay.
SMG4: Crap, he’s getting away! Better activate my flying powers!
SMG4 used the Moon Jump cheat to propel himself in the air, maneuvering around the ki blasts in order to catch up to Cell. The ruins formerly known as GoCommitDi’s house fell silent with the only remains being a TV and a surprisingly intact closet.
GoCommitDi: Are they gone? …I think I’m going to stay here for a few more hours.
While GoCommitDi hid in his closet, the TV changed to the news channel for an emergency broadcast.
Brockman: Kent Brockman here reporting to you live. How can I prove we’re live? Penis. We have received reports of a Blue Mario and Bug Person appearing throughout the world causing mass destruction. Officials have stated not to panic, but we are all going to die.
Brockman hears something on his earpiece and taps on it to listen closer.
Brockman: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I’ve just received breaking news! In response to recent events, wall enthusiast and suspected communist RohgeKiller has generously provided the city with a means to fend off these terrorists. We now go to RohgeKiller, who is standing right next to me.
The camera shifts to the left to reveal Joseph Stalin with a tiny face RohgeKiller, who speaks into Brockman’s microphone.
RohgeKiller: Hello comrade, Brockman. It is very good to see you.
Brockman: Same to you as well, Mr. Killer. Now, what plan do you have to protect our fair city?
RohgeKiller: Why, you’re standing on it of course!
The camera zooms out to reveal a huge wall that looked like it was built to stop titans.
RohgeKiller: I have built this giant Berlin Wall around the city to keep the plumber and bug man from getting in.
Brockman: Interesting. And how did you get the funding to build such a massive wall. Did you force the DBF admins to pay for it?
RohgeKiller: Hahaha! You are a very funny man. I used ad revenue to pay for all of this. In fact, we only needed one sponsor who stands at border right now.
At the border, the sole sponsor, Waluigi, sits at his special stand serving tacos to a crowd of millions.
♪ Waluigiiiiiiii’s Taco Stand! ♪
Brockman: I see. And what do you plan when this wall inevitably fails.
RohgeKiller: Build another wall! There is no problem that wall can’t fix, unless problem can fly.
Brockman: Uh-huh. About that.
Brockman pointed to the sky where SMG4 and Cell were trading blows while slowly heading towards the city.
RohgeKiller: They try to fly over wall! They will feel the wrath of Soviet Russia!
RohgeKiller fired communist lasers from his eyes and blasted SMG4 and Cell out of the sky. They rapidly descended to the ground and the crowd outside the border ran away to avoid them. Waluigi on the other hand, did not notice as he was busy preparing tacos?
Waluigi: Who’s number 46853? Where did everybody go? (*looks up*) Wah-t the heck is that?
SMG4 and Cell crushed Waluigi who conveniently cushioned their fall. The android got up first and kicked SMG4 away before firing a couple Destructo Discs. In response, the memelord agilely avoided the disc and countered with a shotgun blast. He managed to shoot Cell’s arm off, but the android took out his other arm and destroyed SMG4’s shotgun with a ball of ki.
Cell: That was the most pathetic shotgun I’ve ever seen! I thought you were better than this!
SMG4: I am! I’ve got tons of firearms much stronger than that one!
Cell: Oh really? Then let’s see them!
SMG4: Oh, uhh… sh*t. How about this!?
SMG4 searched his pockets and pulled out Waluigi, who had slipped in there by accident.
Cell: This again? Let’s get one thing straight! People do not count as weapons!
SMG4: You sure about that?
Waluigi: Please don’t…
SMG4 molded Waluigi into perfect form so that he now had the shape of a bazooka.
Waluigi Launcher!
SMG4: Now eat this, suckah!
The memelord fired his Waluigi Launcher and it headed towards Cell who was terrifying, but the unsuspecting weapon.
Cell: Sweet merciful crap!
Waluigi rammed Cell right in the chest and blasted him into the wall, penetrating it and sending the two into the city. SMG4 chased after them to ensure that said city would be Cell’s resting place.
RohgeKiller: So they made it through wall.
RohgeKiller took out a phone and contacted his minions to let them know the backup plan was in effect.
RohgeKiller: Prepare Berlin Wall Part 2. And get the sniper on the line!... And get me a better sponsor! Preferably wall based!
Cell kept flying uncontrollably until he crashed into a building. He was still conscious, but the Waluigi Launcher had done so much damage that he couldn’t get up.
Cell: Ugh. I have never had someone thrust into me like that before.
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
SMG4: Well well well.
Cell saw SMG4 and tried to get back in fighting form only for the memelord to stomp on his chest and hold a gun to his head.
SMG4: Are you going to admit defeat and say I’m the better YouTuber!
Cell: Kiss my a$$, I’d rather die!
SMG4: If you say so.
SMG4 slowly began to pull the trigger, but little did he know someone else was prepared to do the same. From a distant rooftop, a square-headed white guy in a top head was holding a missile launcher, his unconventional sniping weapon, and had it pointed right at SMG4’s head. His name: Hatty with a hat! (bum bum buuuuum!) He fired his missile and it knocked SMG4 away before he could claim victory.
Cell: Thanks… God, I guess?
Cell regained his energy and flew towards SMG4. He assaulted the memelord with a flurry of punches and kicks while knocking him through buildings that collapsed one by one. The two were moving around so fast that the missile-firing sniper couldn’t get a lock on.
Hatty: Well, darn. I won’t be able to hit them like this, and if I don’t hit them then RohgeKiller won’t give me money, and if I don’t get money then I can’t pay McDonalds back for the 10 sausage burritos I bought this morning. I sure don’t want Ronald McDonalds to send his clown mafia goons after me… assuming he has those, you never know with clowns. Welp, complaining won’t solve anything, at least not in this specific situation. If I’m going to kill them, I better buckle my pants and get in the dam- darn robot.
Hatty did just that and threw his missile launcher onto the giant robot behind him. The weapon attached itself to the rest of the machine, re-completing the dual missile launchers on its shoulders, and Hatty got in the cockpit and leapt down to fight his targets. He landed next to Cell, forcing the android to stop his attacks on SMG4 to face the new challenger.
Cell: Oh no f*cking way!
Hatty fired the missiles at a much closer range and they blasted away Cell with ease. The android refused to go down so easily and flew back towards Hatty to get revenge. He punched the robot in the cockpit, breaking the window protecting Hatty and sending the robot flying back dozens of feet. Cell was going to go for another punch, this time hitting Hatty directly, but the assassin shot lightning out of his hands to electrocute the android.
Hatty: Mmm, yes, shocking isn’t it.
Hatty then grabbed the controls and smacked Cell aside with the robot’s giant arms. He prepared to finish off the android by charging up his lasers when the robot was blasted on its side. Hatty turned the robot around to see that the attack came from SMG4 and his Canon Pingas.
SMG4: You there! I got something important to say to you!
Hatty: Is it I’m ready for you to kill me so please do it now so you can get paid?
SMG4: No, come closer so I can tell you.
Hatty leaned his neck forward so that his ears were right next to SMG4, thinking the memelord would whisper it into his ear.
SMG4: Ok, here’s the thing I needed to say: FUS RO DAH!
SMG4 dragon shouted so loudly that it blasted Hatty and his mech away. The mech exploded upon hitting the ground and Hatty was left on his own as SMG4 and Cell walked up to him.
Hatty: Well that was sure fun gentlemen. Thank you for letting me join in on your fight even though technically I intruded, but I think I’ll take my chances with Ronald McDonald then endure whatever you two super duper plus ultra beings have in store for me. Have a nice day, and I’ll be exiting stage left, that’s theater talk if you don’t understand it.
Hatty skedaddled away from the battlefield leaving SMG4 and Cell to talk amongst each other.
Cell: He was quite the character.
SMG4: Agreed. So do you think we can continue our fight?
Cell: Let me check. ATTENTION A$$HOLES OF MULTIVERSE! IF ANYONE IS PLANNING TO COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND SCREW WITH US, COULD YOU PLEASE DO SO AT THIS TIME!
After Cell finished his call, five teenagers in zany outfits appeared in front of SMG4 and Cell.
Robin: Listen up! We won’t let you destroy this city! The Teen Titans will stop you!
Cell: Perfect! Hey, if we leave this city right now, then will you NOT fight us?
Robin: Huh? Who are you?
SMG4: Apparently, we’re the people destroying the city.
Beast Boy: Nah, man. You aren’t the ones trying to destroy the city.
Cell: What? Then who is?
Raven: You might want to look up.
SMG4 and Cell looked up and their jaws dropped when they saw a huge metallic planet heading towards them. It immediately fired a laser that proved too big for anyone to dodge, not SMG4, not Cell, not even the Teen Titans. Absolute doom was certain, and yet things were going to get bigger from there.
SMG4: I just want to say: called it.
Part 3: Destroy All Memes[]
Trigon vs. Unicron by RohgeKiller[]
SMG4: Oh… my head… what happened? Did I die?
SMG4 regained consciousness after tanking the laser beam and looked around to see the city in worse condition than when he and Cell were fighting in it. Another thing he saw was Cell right beside him, looking up at something before turning to him.
Cell: Oh good, you’re awake.
SMG4: You! You’re awake!? Mind telling me what’s going on?
Cell: Well after that planet blasted us, you got knocked out and I got reduced to a leg. Fortunately, my perfect body regenerates from that sort of sh*t and I was going to take the opportunity to kill you until I saw the planet transform into a giant robot.
SMG4: That laser hit you really hard in the head, didn't it?
Cell: No. Anyways, after that those stupid teenagers tried to kill the giant robot, but suprise they all died like b*tches, except for the goth b*tch. She got sad and cried so hard it summoned Satan who apparently is her father and is now trying to kill the robot.
SMG4: Again, that laser hit you really hard in the head, didn't it?
Cell: NO IT DIDN’T! It’s happening in front of you right now, see?
Cell pointed in front of him to reveal the giant robot Unicron and Satan, official name Trigon, having a brawl of apocalyptic proportions. They currently had their arms pressed against each other, keeping them in a stalemate, but SMG4 and Cell knew that once one of them got the upper hand, all hell would break loose.
SMG4: Huh? Wait, I thought Papa John was Satan.
A portal to hell opened behind SMG4 and Cell with Papa John on the other side.
Papa John: We both are. It’s a very common name in Hell.
The portal closed leaving the two YouTubers in confusion.
Cell: And just when I thought today couldn’t get any weirder.
Back to the giants, Unicron unleashed an electrical shock to force Trigon and then turned his arm into a club to bash him. The demon refused to be subdued so easily and blocked the swing using a nearby building chunk as a shield followed by a swing from his arm that knocked Unicron’s club arm off. The massive club fell in the direction of SMG4 and Cell who quickly jumped out of the way to avoid being crushed.
SMG4: We can’t kill each other if those two kill us first! Let’s have a temporary truce and stop them!
Cell: It’s not like I’m going to refuse that offer. We’ve done this like three times already!
SMG4 and Cell flew towards the giants to take them down. The good news was that Trigon had just punched through Unicron’s chest, eliminating one of the threats and sending the robot to the ground.
Trigon: How disappointing.
The bad news was that Trigon was now turning his attention to SMG4 and Cell while smiling viciously.
Trigon: More challengers for me? I’ll destroy you like the rest!
Trigon fired lasers from his six eyes, but his targets were too fast and dodged them. Cell fired some ki blasts to blind Trigon’s eyes one by one allowing SMG4 to get close and pimp slap the demon.
SMG4: Defeated now, b*tch!
Trigon shrugged off the attack and returned the favor to SMG4 by smacking him so hard he crashed into Cell making them fall to the ground.
Trigon: Hmph. Mere insects who refuse to kneel to their God.
Unicron: Look who’s talking.
Trigon heard a voice and looked back to see that Unicron had risen up, fully recovered and was looking to get even. He turned his arms into a dual set of swords and went for a cross slash, slashing Trigon in the chest and making him collapse on top of the few buildings that had yet to be destroyed.
Trigon: You are a persistent creature, but you will fall to Trigon the Terrible just like all the rest!
Trigon spat out lava from his mouth, forcing Unicron to block it with his swords. Globs of lava bounced off the swords and landed in various areas of the city. One of those globs was heading for Cell who Instant Transmissioned away from it leaving SMG4, who was right under him, to get hit and have his body melted into a skeleton.
SMG4: I’m ok.
Cell reappeared above Unicron without the robot noicing and got into position for a powerful attack.
Cell: Sorry rustbucket, but the less giants I have to deal with the better! KAAAMEEHAAMEE-
During the chargeup, Trigon stopped spewing his lava and summoned a giant battle axe. He charged at Unicron, who was still on the defensive, and slashed his swords off while simultaneously knocking him out of the way of Cell’s attack.
Cell: HAAA!
Cell’s Kamehameha hit the ground and made a huge explosion visible from space. The attack missed, but it’s ferocity caught the attention of the two giants he was fighting.
Trigon: Seems the insect has a bit of bite in him.
Unicron: I’m going to enjoy hearing the sound he makes when I squish him!
Cell: Well f*ck!
Trigon and Unicron fired their lasers in order to blast Cell out of the air. The android flew back, avoiding the lasers to the best of his ability. Unicron realized that the lasers were no good and decided to run up to Cell and crush him with his giant hands. The robot clapped his hands so hard that it made a giant shockwave, and he thought that would be enough and opened his hands to see the blood splatter that was Cell. But it was not Cell, it was SMG4 who used his teleportation to save his temporary ally.
SMG4: Hello, how are you today?
SMG4 took out a gun and shot Unicron in the face causing the robot’s head to turn 180 degrees from the force of the bullet.
SMG4: The only person who's allowed to kill that green guy is me! If you try and do that again I’ll-
Unicron: You’ll what?
Unicron turned his head around and glared menacingly at SMG4 who remembered how outclassed he was here as his head shrank his fear.
SMG4: I-I-I’ll split your head open with my supernatural mind powers!
SMG4 placed his fingers on his forehead and squinted his face in an effort to back up his bluff. Unicron couldn’t help, but laugh at the puny man’s attempt though it did distract him from an incoming axe that split his head open.
SMG4: Holy sh*t! It worked! I really do have supernatural mind powers!
That was when Trigon let go of his axe to push aside the two halves of Unicron’s face to reveal his own.
Trigon: Heeere’s Trigon!
SMG4: Oh, that makes more sense.
Trigon tried to grab SMG4 only for the memelord to dodge by jumping onto his arm. The latter ran up the demon’s arm as said demon tried to blast him with his laser eyes. SMG4 made a bunch of random JoJo poses that let him narrowly avoid the lasers then sped up to reach ludicrous speed and deliver a punch to Trigon’s head. It was so powerful that the demon stumbled back a few steps, although he was far from injured.
He saw SMG4 trying to fall to safety and in a fit of anger, Trigon used his telekinesis to lift chunks of ruined buildings into the air and hurled them at his target. SMG4 grabbed the first chunk and used it to get a liftoff as he leaped from rock to rock, trying to get closer to Trigon. The memelord thought it would be easy until he saw that some of the chunks had been mashed together into a huge rock that was headed towards him. Fortunately, a ki blast came out of nowhere to vaporize the rock and Cell appeared from behind to provide assistance.
Cell: Ready to end this?
SMG4: You know it!
Cell gave SMG4 a boost and the two flew in faster towards Trigon who got out his Power Staff to face his opponent’s in battle.
Trigon: Insolent morsels! Prepare to face your doom!
The combatants got in close to fight each other, but a would-have-been clash of the ages was brought to a halt by a massive laser coming down and nearly hitting the three.
Unicron: I’ve grown weary of you all and your world. It is time I lay waste to this hunk of rock.
SMG4, Cell, and Trigon all recognized that voice, but couldn’t tell where it was coming from. Suddenly, a huge shadow eclipsed them and they looked up to see that Unicron had come back, returning to his planet form which was now significantly larger than the Earth.
Trigon: What abomination is this!?
Unicron: This is the only form you can comprehend in your final moments.
Unicron let out a series of lasers to ravage the battlefield. Trigon was hit directly by the first laser, but SMG4 and Cell reacted faster and dodged the lasers as they reached the Earth. Cell thought about the current opponent for a minute and remembered the times the robot had been gravely injured, making him curious about how it was still attacking them.
Cell: Hold everything! I know for a fact that you have died twice already! How the f*ck do you keep coming back!?
Unicron: I am more than what you see before you. I am the chaos and hatred itself, the forces that drive the multiverse itself! It is impossible for a mortal like you to kill such concepts.
Cell: But can you erase them from existence?
Unicron: I beg your pardon?
Cell pulls out a shotgun.
Cell: Boom! Shotgun, b*tch!
Unicron: Hahaha! You expect to defeat me with that? That is adorable!
Trigon: I agree, it is adorable.
Cell: You would think that, but this shotgun is powered by the logic of the DevilArtemis universe! All it takes is one shot and your fata$$ will be erased from existence!
Trigon: Where did you acquire such a power!?
Cell: Stole it from a farmer.
Cell fired the shotgun upwards and hit Unicron.
Unicron: I don’t feel so good…
The effects of the shotgun sunk in and the giant robot’s body started fading away. Unicron let out a Sr Pelo scream as his whole body disappeared from existence.
Cell: Works every time.
Cell blew out the smoke from his shotgun, and SMG4 slowly backed away fearing the danger of the weapon. The memelord wasn’t the only one as Trigon decided to get rid of the shotgun by firing a laser that disintegrated it along with Cell’s arm.
Trigon: Now that your infernal contraption is out of the way. Nothing can stop me now!
Cell: Sh*t! That was my only trump card for this cameo. Is there another way to stop him?
SMG4: Hang on! I’ll think of something!
SMG4 pulled out his phone and looked up “Trigon vs. Unicron”. He looked through Trigon’s analysis to find any notable weaknesses.
SMG4: Let’s see…Embodiment of Evil, blah blah blah, overall power input at multiversal, blah blah blah. Here we go, “‘Pure’/Good Hearted magic can harm him”.
Cell: Good Hearted magic? We don’t have that sh*t!
SMG4: We have something better: The Magic of Friendship!
SMG4 reached into his pocket and brought out Tari who had been curled up into a ball since the Geese Tower incident.
Tari: Huh? Where am I?
Tari looked around and saw the destroyed city which made her hard sink. It got even worse when she looked up to see the monstrous Trigon looking at her.
Tari: Ahh! What is that thing!?
SMG4: Don’t worry, he’s not going to kill you.
Trigon: Yes I am.
SMG4: (*Fake laughs*) You’re such a joker, you. His name is Trigon and he wants to be your friend. He also likes big, tight, happy hugs.
Tari: REALLY!? How about a hug right now!
Tari's eyes became filled with wonder as she ran up to Trigon to hug his leg with all her might.
Trigon: What exactly is this?
SMG4: The most pure-hearted, goodest hug in the world.
Trigon was confused by the memelord statement, but then he felt immense pain in his leg. The demon looked down to see it was cracking with rainbows spewing out. Turns out, the pureness of Tari’s hug was Kryptonite to Trigon’s body made of negative energy.
Trigon: What the!? No! No! NOOOOO!
The cracks spread further up Trigon’s body until his body could no longer stay intact. He exploded into a rainbow-colored nuke of positive energy and reduced what remained of the city to a smoldering crater, and everyone in it (except SMG4 and Cell) died of happiness.
A giant pause button appeared in front of the wreckage and the scene zoomed out to reveal that everything had been recorded on a huge TV. On the other side of that TV were a large group of soldiers along with their leader, a red robot shaped like Zero from Mega Man X named TheGinyuF0rce5.
GinyuF0rce: This footage was taken 3 days ago, no survivors. I’m sure by now you fine men understand what the greatest threat to our world is.
Random Soldier: Gamer girls?
GinyuF0rce: No! I’m talking about the terrorists SMG4 and Cell. After that incident, they have been fighting nonstop, destroying major cities around the world including New York City, USA…
Soldiers: (*gasp*)
GinyuF0rce: London, England…
Soldiers: (*bigger gasp*)
GinyuF0rce: Paris, France…
Soldiers: (*nonchalant muttering*)
Another Random Soldier: We can do without France.
GinyuF0rce: and Tokyo, Japan.
Soldiers: (*biggest gasp*)
Yet Another Random Soldier: My waifus!
GinyuF0rce: Pretty soon, all life as we know it will cease to exist. Fortunately, we have been given the chance to stop them. Our scouts have reported that SMG4 and Cell are currently wreaking havoc and the Taco Bell across the street.
GinyuF0rce takes out a remote and pushes a button, changing the channel on the TV to show Perfect Cell at the Taco Bell register.
Cell: I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s-
Loud Customer: Hey! You’re holding up the line!
SMG4: Yeah! Quit stalling so we can get to the part where I shove this rocket launcher up your a$$!
GinyuF0rce: It is only a matter of time before we fight them, and when we win, the world will be saved. However, since all of you are extras that will most likely die, I have taken the liberty of hiring some extra help.
GinyuF0rce waves his hand to the side, pointing to two figures standing in the corner. One of them was a small pink ball with a happy face and the other was a red figure with flaming black hair dressed in equally eerie black.
GinyuF0rce: That small thing is called Kirbysakurai. He may not look like much, but he has a high power level and a Phd in memeology, perfect for dealing with our enemies.
Kirbysakurai: Poyo!
Random Soldier #4: (*Whispers to another random soldier*) This guy scares me.
GinyuF0rce: And the other guy is named FNAFpro52.
FNAFpro: I like toast.
Random Soldier the Fifth: He’s kind of bland, isn’t he.
GinyuF0rce: Yeah, he only put “Neutral” under personality so the writer wasn’t sure what to do for personality.
FNAFpro: Please direct me to your nearest toast.
GinyuF0rce: His powers of darkness do compensate though. Point is with these two by our side, we’ll be ready for when the enemy strikes.
The second after GinyuF0rce finished, Cell crashed through the wall with his butt on fire catching everyone by surprise.
Cell: Godd*mmit, why did I stand still for that one?
SMG4 entered the building too with a rocket launcher in hand.
SMG4: Think you can take another one? I got plenty more rounds to explode all over you!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
GinyuF0rce: It’s them! Men, you know what to do!
The Last Random Soldier: We’re on it!
The soldiers tossed their weapons and ran around in circles screaming for their lives.
GinyuF0rce: That’s Plan B you morons! You know what, screw it! I’ll handle this myself!
GinyuF0rce pulled out an energy saber and sliced SMG4’s rocket launcher in half. The memelord yelped and started jumping back to dodge more sword swings from the saber. He waited for an opening and used it to kick GinyuF0rce right into Cell making it look like they were spooning.
Cell: F*ck off! I don’t swing that way!
Cell slapped GinyuF0rce to the end of the room, knocking him out in the process. The android used his Continuous Energy Bullets to blast his original target and SMG4 used his jumping skill to dodge them, making the bullets blow up the panicking soldiers instead. Kirbysakurai and FNAFpro saw the carnage unfolding and knew they had to step in.
FNAFpro: This madness must stop, let’s toast their a$$es!
Kirbysakurai: Poyo!
Kirbysakurai summoned his Stand Masahiro who fired nerfing beams from his hands. The beams hit Cell and made his ki attacks smaller and weaker. Cell looked at his hands to see what was going on which left him vulnerable to Kirbysakurai’s comically large spoon smashing him on the head. Cell let out a burst of ki to break the spoon and stared angrily at his assailant.
Cell: What’s your problem, chewing gum?
Kirbysakurai: Poyo! Poyo!
Cell: HOW DARE YOU! MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!
An even more enraged Cell flew in to punch Kirbysakurai, only for it to be blocked by a forcefield of darkness created by FNAFpro.
FNAFpro: Your toast is burnt, and no amount of scrapping will remove the black part.
FNAFpro created four hands out of darkness and used them to attack Cell with a beat rush of palm thrusts. The darkness user decided to go for the finisher by curling the hands into fists and throwing them all at once, but Cell caught them all and pushed the hands back.
FNAFpro didn’t let that stop him and turned the hands into darkness spheres that fired lasers everywhere. They sliced through everything in the room, including the soldiers. Cell still manages to dodge the lasers as well as an unintentional target: SMG4.
SMG4: Watch where you're aiming, jacka$$!
SMG4 ran up to FNAFpro and hit him from behind, sending the darkness user flying. The memelord looked satisfied, but Kirbysakurai ruined his moment by latching onto the back of his head and nearly giving him a heart attack.
Kirbysakurai: You picked the wrong house, fool!
SMG4: I’m sorry, what?
Kirbysakurai: I mean, poyo!
Kirbysakurai lifted SMG4 into the air and suplexed him onto his head. He then did a traditional Kirby victory dance on the memelord to mock him and the latter shook him off and tried to go after him. FNAFpro wasn’t going to allow that so he smashed SMG4 into the ground with a dark hand.
FNAFpro: Stay butter-side down, like a good toast.
FNAFpro was so focused on holding SMG4 down that he didn’t see Cell come up and kick him away and follow it up with a volley of ki blasts and a quick Kamehameha to ensure that FNAFpro wouldn’t get up again.
Cell: Jesus Christ, I couldn’t stand that guy! He was all “toast” this and “toast” that. There are better things in this world than toast you know!
Kirbysakurai: Poyo!
Cell: Yeah, I guess oranges are one of those better things, but what does that have to do with anything?
Kirbysakurai started to emit a powerful aura and charged up an orange sphere in his hands. He fired the sphere with all his might and Cell caught it. The android looked at the projectile to see that the orange sphere was in fact… an orange.
Annoying Orange: Woah, are you Perfect Cell? Let me get out my phone, I want to take a “Cell”-fie of us together! Hahahahahaha!
Cell: Is this a dead meme?
Kirbysakurai: Poyo!
Cell: Wait… maximum overdrive?
Kirbysakurai flailed his stubby hands and out came thousands of Annoying Oranges. Cell dropped his jaw in shock right as the oranges blew over him like a tidal wave. SMG4 got up and saw the Oranges coming at him next, but couldn’t stop them from trampling him as well. The memelord couldn’t stay down for long as he got up with his Cannon Penis sticking out and scooped up a bunch of Oranges inside of it.
SMG4: ♪ CAAAAANNON PEEEEENIS! ♪
Other Annoying Orange: Wow! I always wanted to work with SMG4, too bad this is Non-“Cannon”!
The Oranges inside the cannon laughed hysterically before being fired out of the Cannon Penis. They flew toward Kirby Sakurai and hit him so hard that he was launched through the roof and kept flying until he exploded Smash Bros. style.
The hired fighters had been taken care of, and they left the room flooded with Annoying Oranges talking and laughing amongst themselves. From the sea of citrus, Cell got up and spat out a couple oranges before addressing his opponent.
Cell: That’s all free of them right?
SMG4: Should be. I think we can start fighting again with no interruptions.
3rd Annoying Oranges: Hey! Hey! Hey, you two! Over here! Hey!
SMG4: Man, those oranges are annoying. Should we tell them to shut up?
Cell: Maybe. Just don’t talk to the one trying to get our attention. I think he’s some sort of plot device.
3rd Annoying Orange: Come on! Look over here! Hey! Hey! Heyheyheyhe-
SMG4 and Cell: WHAT IS IT!?
3rd Annoying Orange: Zero Buster.
SMG4: Zero?
Cell: Buster?
SMG4 and Cell heard a weapon charging behind them and turned around to see that GinyuF0rce had gotten up and was charging his arm cannon.
GinyuF0rce: It’s payback time, b*tches! FINAAAAL FLAAAASH!
GinyuF0rce let out the biggest energy blast of his life, striking SMG4 and Cell so hard that they were sent flying out of the building and to another part of the current city. The red robot would have pursued them, but he used up so much energy in that last attack that his body could stay up and he collapsed in the sea of Oranges.
The Last Annoying Orange: Woah, that attack was awesome! And here I thought you were a “Zero”!
All the Annoying Oranges laughed simultaneously and GinyuF0rce sighed in frustration.
SMG4 and Cell landed on the street and got up, suffering little damage from the attack.
SMG4: I think it will be a while before some random a$$hole shows up. Want to start fighting again?
Cell: Sounds like a great idea.
Cell showed his approval by punching SMG4 in the face and the two began duking it out in the streets. But little did they know, there was a random a$$hole watching them from the dark alleyway. His name was Y3p owo and he looked like a tiny gremlin Akuma. As he watched the fight, he took out a photograph of his “Faces of Evil Battle Royal” and rubbed it preciously.
Y3p owo: Professor Mewtwo, you wouldn’t let my fight cameo in this Death Battle. I will have my revenge, BY TROLLING YOUR FIGHTERS TO DEATH! And I’ll do it with the help of my faithful sidekick: this blue blocky person over here!
MinecraftFan: Hey Mom, look! I’m in a Death Battle!
Y3p owo created a bomb from thin air and handed it to his sidekick, MinecraftFan300, then lit the fuse on fire.
Y3p owo: Now here’s the plan: you run up to those two and make them explode.
MinecraftFan: I like that plan! Except, won’t I explode too?
Y3p owo: Oh. Don’t worry about that. This is a does-not-explode-MinecraftFan type of bomb.
MinecraftFan: Sweet! YOLOOOOO!
MinecraftFan dashed off with the bomb to fufill the plan.
Y3p owo: Hehe. What an idiot.
MinecraftFan kept screaming as they ran towards their target, immediately catching their attention. SMG4 decided to stop them by casually kicking the block man onto his back.
MinecraftFan: Ow.
The bomb then exploded sending MinecraftFan high into the air.
MinecraftFan: You lied to meeeeee!!!
Y3p owo: Godd*mmit! Fine, I’ll do it myself!
Y3p owo came out of the alleyway and pulled a gun on SMG4 and Cell.
Y3p owo: SMG4! Perfect Cell! I am Y3p owo, and I am here to murder your a$$es!
SMG4: Hey, does it feel like we’re fighting these people more than we’re fighting each other? It kinda makes this episode sound misleading.
Cell: Welcome to the DevilArtemis universe, buddy.
Y3p owo fired some bullets at Cell who easily blocked them with his arm. The android then grabbed SMG4 and threw him at the Akuma gremlin, knocking them both to the ground. Cell pointed his hand out to make an explosion appear near them, but his opponents jumped out of the way and started running towards him in retaliation. SMG4 appeared to have a head start until Y3p owo tripped him.
Y3p owo: Haw haw.
Cell kicked Y3p owo in mid-gloating which left him open to SMG4 Shoryukening his perfect jawline. He watched the android fly into the air for a bit and kicked him into a building once he fell back to Earth. The memelord kept the pressure going by throwing a series of bombs, though Cell was able to recover in time to destroy them using some Ki blasts.
They continued to hurl projectiles at each other, but the familiar sound of screaming, this time in panic rather than enthusiasm, made them look up to see MinecraftFan falling from the sky. The block person hit the ground so hard that they caused a shockwave that blew SMG4 and Cell away.
MinecraftFan: I can’t believe it! I’m alive! I’M ALIVEEEE!
SMG4 threw a bomb that exploded in MinecraftFan’s face and left it covered in ash.
SMG4: Sorry. My hand slipped.
MinecraftFan: So that’s how it’s going to be! You asked for it! Behold my special attack!
MinecraftFan pointed thier fingers like guns and fired small lasers out of them. They were so small in fact that they bounced off SMG4 without leaving a scratch and the memelord was unimpressed.
SMG4: You call that an attack?
MinecraftFan: No, I call it a distraction!
Hearing his cue, Y3p owo jumped out from behind SMG4. The memelord slowly turned around to see the Akuma gremlin punch his face in then crush the rest of his body into a ball. He took that ball and threw it towards a distant basketball hoop he summoned and SMG4 went through the hoop (three points!) right before it violently exploded.
Y3p owo: Great distraction, MinecraftFan! That’s one down-
Cell: And two to go!
Cell interrupted the two by teleporting between them and blasting them away with twin ki blasts. MinecraftFan recovered first and ran towards Cell to counterattack.
MinecraftFan: Don’t act so cocky! You don’t have the neck yet!
Cell heard this and flew at MinecraftFan to grab him by the neck and bash him into a wall.
Cell: How about now?
MinecraftFan: (*chokes*) That was a poor choice of words.
Cell started punching MinecraftFan’s head repeatedly, making a bigger crater with each blow. At that time, Y3p owo was getting up and noticed that his sidekick was in grave danger.
Y3p owo: Oh no, my personal meat shield… I mean sidekick! I’ll save you! IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!
Y3p owo made a face long forgotten on the internet and fired a giant laser from his mouth. It headed towards Cell to destroy him entirely, but the android used MinecraftFan as a human shield, forcing Y3p owo to stop his laser in midair. He sucked the laser back into his mouth and complained about his opponent’s cheap tactics.
Y3p owo: No fair! I can’t use my lasers with the block person in the way!
Cell: Really? Let’s see if I can use mine.
Using his free hand, Cell charged up a Special Beam Character and fired it at Y3p owo’s crotch. The beam went right through the target balls and Y3p owo gave a painful look as he felt his manhood get torn apart.
Y3p owo: A$$hole…
Y3p owo collapsed on the ground and Cell smiled victoriously. But that was only because he forgot about SMG4 who threw a piano at Cell so hard that it knocked MinecraftFan out of the android’s hands.
SMG4: How do you like that one!?
Cell: How the f*ck were you keeping that in your pockets?
MinecraftFan: Well at least I’m finally safe from harm.
The piano heard MinecraftFan and spouted out its secret set of teeth as it comped down on the top half of their body.
MinecraftFan: Of course…
SMG4 and Cell watched as MincraftFan ran around screaming in pain. Y3p owo also watched this from the safety of a trash can, as he now realized how f*cked he and his sidekick were.
Y3p owo: Sh*t this is bad! It looks like I’m going to need some backup!
Y3p owo got out his phone and called a friend for help. Meanwhile, SMG4 and Cell tried to have an uninterrupted fight and clashed punches with each other. They followed it up by pushing both their hands against each other, creating a stalemate strong enough to cause multiple shockwaves around them.
Cell: I take back what I said back in Leonardo vs Sonic. You aren’t just one of the most persistent people I fought, you are THE most persistent person I thought. And I’ve fought Ugandan Knuckles!
SMG4: What can I say. Ten years of dealing with memes and Mario can really toughen up a man.
The two then heard MinecraftFan running towards them about to unintentionally crash into them, but a voice from above was ready to alter the course of destiny.
???: Have no fear, citizens! I’ll save you!
A figure swooped down from above and knocked MinecraftFan away. He was a monochrome-skinned jester named TheGreatDimentio! and he was here to help.
GreatDimentio: Like a Shadow Raid Legends ad on YouTube, I appear when least expected!
Cell: Godd*mmit! Look here joker, we’re only here to fight each other! We have no interest in dealing with these f*cking cameos!
GreatDimentio: There is no need for such angry words. For I am a no “f*cking cameo”, I am a f*cker of cameos!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
GreatDimentio: And by that, I mean I am here to ensure that your fight is a simple 1v1 by eliminating all unwanted guests, starting with that guy over there!
GreatDimentio pulled out a shotgun and blasted the piano off of MinecraftFan’s head.
MinecraftFan: I’m free, thank you! Hey, I know you! Aren’t you-
Dimentio: Oops, I missed!
Dimentio fired his shotgun again, this time hitting MinecraftFan directly and launching him dozens of feet.
Dimentio: Much better.
Y3p owo: You won’t be so lucky with me, person I don’t know!
Y3p owo charged at GreatDimentio and punched the shotgun out of his hand. GreatDimentio tried to fight back by throwing his own punch, but it was so suspiciously slow and weak that Y3p owo had no trouble dodging it and fighting back with a combination of punches and kicks that nearly crippled him.
Dimentio: It seems my powers aren’t enough. Quick, friends, I need your assistance!
SMG4: You heard the clown! We need to help him!
Cell: Fine, but don’t blame me when this backfires!
SMG4 and Cell jumped in to deal a double punch to Y3p owo’s chest and knock him back. GreatDimentio got up and summoned his Stand MissingNo and had it enter the gremlin Akuma’s body, altering his code from the inside thus changing his appearance.
Y3p owo: Why am I staring at the ground? Are my legs backwards? Hey, wait a minute! Did you swap my face with my butt?
Y3p owo turned around to reveal that GreatDimentio did exactly that to his body and Y3p owo’s opponents couldn’t help but laugh hysterically.
Y3p owo: You think this is funny? You won’t be laughing when I use this!
Y3p owo reached in his pocket to find his trump card, a small black box. He was going to open it in his enemies’ direction, though a certain someone came running in to delay those plans.
MinecraftFan: Y3p owo! You won’t believe it! GreatDimentio betr-
GreatDimentio grabbed MinecraftFan mid-sentence and threw him at Y3p owo. This knocked the box out of Y3p owo’s hands and into Perfect Cell’s. With Y3p owo and MinecraftFan now piled together, they were wide open for a fatality.
GreatDimentio: Quick Cell, use that black box against them and you two will be rid of your problems!
Cell: Hahaa! This is going to be fun!
Cell opened the box and what came out was a giant time-space vortex that sucked him and SMG4 into it.
Cell: Sh*t! This wasn’t what I thought it wasssss!
SMG4: Why does this keep happeninggggg!?
SMG4 and Cell disappeared from the battlefield leaving only Y3p owo and GreatDimentio who chuckled in relief.
Y3p owo: That was brilliant! Only you could trick them into opening the defective portal box.
GreatDimentio: And only you could think of such a devious plan.
MinecraftFan: Wait… GreatDimentio was on our side.
Y3p owo: Yup, when we were losing I called him over for help and lured the enemies into a trap to get rid of them.
GreatDimentio: And I have to say it was fun, but I have to get going. I have to go sacrifice someone in the name of Garfield.
Y3p owo: Aren’t you going to fix my face first?
GreatDimentio: Nah, I like you better that way.
MinecraftFan: Also, where did you send those guys too?
GreatDimentio: I don’t know, probably some stupid Japanese RPG. Just a guess really.
Valvatorez vs Akira Kurusu by Cipher013[]
But it wasn’t just a guess. In fact, GreatDimentio really did send them to a Japanese RPG. Specifically, the distorted world of Mementos where SMG4 and Cell landed after being spat out by the portal. They got a quick look of the eerie landscape before facing each other in anger.
SMG4: Great! Now we’re in Hell! This is your fault you know! You shouldn’t have opened that box!
Cell: My fault!? You’re the one who said to trust that creepy clown! Nobody should ever trust a creepy clown that comes out of nowhere! What are you, some six year old from Derry, Maine?
SMG4: Well maybe the clown wouldn’t have shown up if you weren’t there.
Cell: What are you implying?
SMG4: Didn’t your friend say that your videos were about random characters beating you up? I bet you're attracting all those cameos because they fight you so badly.
Cell: I’ll admit that happens a lot, but those people always come to the Cell Games to fight me. Perhaps it’s random bullsh*t that’s summoning them and ruining this fight.
SMG4: I’m not ruining this fight! I’m the reason people are reading it! I don’t think they even know who you are!
Cell: Oh, they’ll know who I am! I’m the perfect android who killed SMG4!
Cell charged up a Special Beam Cannon and launched it at SMG4 who dodged it and ran up to the android to kick him in the face. This dazed him long enough for SMG4 to ground pound him into the Earth, binding him to the ground like a nail, but Cell escaped by teleporting and sent SMG4 airbound with an uppercut. He fired some ki blasts for additional damage then flew in to deliver another punch only for SMG4 to smack the android back down to Earth with his hammer.
Their fighting attracted the many Shadows of Mementos who surrounded them in an attempted assault. Before they could strike however, Cell hit SMG4 with a Kamehameha that covered the in a huge explosion.
Shadows: Ooo…
That didn’t keep SMG4 down as he jumped out of the explosion and tackled Cell so hard that it made an explosion of equal size.
Shadows: Ahh…
One Shadow in particular: Screw killing them! I want to see who wins this!
The Shadows halted their assault to watch the fight (some of them even brought out popcorn and placed bets) creating the perfect ring for the two YouTubers to brawl in. They punched and kicked each other back and forth, dealing massive damage every time yet it wasn’t enough to make the other waver. It wasn’t until Cell backed up to fire a ki blast, that one of them got the upper hand. SMG4 got hit by the blast and crashed into a Shadow who gladly helped break his fall.
SMG4: Thank you freaky masked abomination.
The Shadow who got insulted: You’re welcome.
SMG4 decided to get back at the android by using his minigun. He fired a plethora of bullets that Cell dodged by flying around the ring which inadvertently killed a bunch of other Shadows who got hit with the bullets instead.
Shadow with good hindsight: Argh! We should have seen this coming!
Cell fired some Continuous Energy Bullets that made SMG4 stop firing so that he could run from them. Unable to use his minigun properly, SMG4 threw it at Cell, hitting him right in his perfect crotch.
Cell: Ahh! Why did it have to land there?
SMG4 took advantage of the wounded Cell and ran in to kick his a$$, but a sudden explosion of fire from behind the horde of Shadows made him stop.
SMG4: What was that noise?
A skinny vampire named Valvatorez flew out of the fire and into the ring. He was followed by the one who made the fire, a thief named Joker, real name: Akira Kurusu.
The one serious Shadow: Intruders!
Joker: Oh no.
Valvatorez: How about a temporary truce then we can get back to the fight.
Joker: Fine.
Joker summoned a golden dragon that generated lots of electricity to kill half the Shadows in the room while Valvatorez killed the other half by sucking them all into a ball of darkness and impaling them with a giant sword.
Cell: D*mn, that was kind of bada$$.
Valvatorez: Looks like there’s two more left.
SMG4: What!? We’re not freaky mask people!
Joker: Time for an all-out attack!
Joker and Valvatorez ganged up on the two they assumed to be shadows, dashing around their at incredible speeds while slashing them at every available opportunity. They finished by striking poses while blood spewed out of their enemies and the words “Show’s Over” appearing above them.
SMG4: I can’t feel… my a$$.
Joker: They’re still alive? These are some tough Shadows.
Valvatorez: Let’s divide and conquer for this one. I’ll take the blue one, you take the green one.
Joker: Understood.
The two went after their respective targets just as they were recovering from the all-out attack.
Cell: Man my a$$ hurts. (*looks up*) Huh? Incoming!
Cell jumps out of the way of Joker’s knife swing and keeps flying backwards to leave an altered SMG4 by himself.
SMG4: Incoming? From where?
SMG4’s question was answered by Valvatorez who drove a spear right into his face.
SMG4: Oh.
Back to the other fight, Joker was trying to land his knife attack on Cell, but the android kept dodging until he decided to catch Joker’s swinging arm and blast him in the chest with his free hand. Joker was able to land on his feet and grabbed his mask to prepare a more powerful attack.
Joker: Come, Alice!
Joker ripped off his mask which erupted into blue flames to summon a creepy blond girl that hovered above him.
Cell: What the? Is that a Stand?
Joker: Now, Die for Me!
At Joker’s command, Alice performed her Die for Me! attack and summoned an army of teddy bears with bombs strapped to their backs. They dogpiled Cell and exploded, seemingly reducing him to ash, but the android teleported behind Joker striking a pose that had his back facing his opponent and hand covering his face.
Cell: That was f*cking trash! Allow me to show you what a real Stand looks like!
Cell summoned the voluptuous god Moista Fiesta to attack Joker. The Phantom Thief leaped back to dodge a punch and readied himself for an intense fight.
Joker: Unbelievable. He’s a Persona user too? Futsunushi!
Joker summoned a new Persona, this time in the form of a man with many swords and that man threw them at Cell who used Moista Fiesta to punch them away.
Moista Fiesta: Oh BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER!
Moista Fiesta broke through the blades and tried to throw his next punch at Joker, but he gracefully jumped over it and had Futsunushi summon a bigger blade to chop off the Stand’s arm. As per Stand law, the damage transferred to Cell making his arm fall off as well.
Joker: Too slow!
Joker got in close to land a few hits on Cell before shooting his head off with a gun. He then kicked the android away and summoned another Persona to finish the job.
Joker: Beelzebub! Maeigaon!
A giant fly appeared and fired a blast of darkness that exploded into an evil face.
Joker: And that’s that.
Joker was certain he had destroyed Cell completely as planned, but a shadow appeared over him and he looked up to see a giant pizza fall onto him.
Cell: Pizza Pieda!
Cell wasn’t done yet, as he did another DIO reference and rapidly punched the pizza with his stand.
Cell: BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER OH BOTHER!
After an extra powerful punch Cell flew into the air and watched as the pizza broke apart and exploded. He prepared to fly away to find and kill SMG4, but he was halted by a grappling hook that wrapped around his leg and turned around to see Joker completely healing himself using a new Persona: Cybele.
Cell: Full restoration!? Really!? That’s just cheap!
Joker: Says the bug man who grew his head back.
Joker reeled Cell in and had Cybele prepare to blast him with a beam of light. Cell saw this coming and had Moista Fiesta throw a pizza in Cybele’s face blinding her and causing the attack to misfire. This allowed Cell to get in a counterattack by kicking Joker far away. Cell gave chase to the Phantom Thief and the two passed SMG4 and Valvatorez who were in the middle of their own fight, or more accurately Valvatorez assaulting SMG4 as the latter ran away screaming.
Valvatorez was firing blood spikes at his target, but kept missing as his opponent was too fast. The vampire knew he had to try harder so he sped up and circled around SMG4 fast enough to create a hurricane that lifted the memelord into the air. He followed it up by impaling SMG4 with a spear and throwing him into the ground.
SMG4: Jokes on you! Now I have your spear!
Valvatorez: Yes you do.
SMG4 noticed how calm Valvatorez was and wondered why. The reason being that the former was in the middle of an Impaler Drop which started with the impalement and ended with the bolt of lighting that hit the spear and electrocuted him. SMG4 quickly pulled the spear out and tossed it aside then charged at Valvatorez who created a forcefield to make the memelord harmlessly bounce off him.
Valvatorez: A valiant attempt, but I know you can do better. Perhaps this will draw out your strength!
Valvatorez swung out his arms and out came dozens of bats that flew into the air to form a gigantic demon.
SMG4: OH SH*T! A DEMON!
Valvatorez: Follow my order and present thy vile soul!
The demon let out an immense shock wave that tore apart the ground below. SMG4 struggled to resist the attack, but was still blown away. He saw that he was heading towards a wall and jumped off it to make his way back towards the demon and pulled out a gun to shoot it. The bullets briefly stunned the demon and made it angrier as it tried to slash the memelord in retaliation only for him to jump off its claw and throw Bomb-Ombs like crazy. So many bombs were thrown that they covered the demon entirely before killing it upon detonation.
Valvatorez: Impressive! I knew you would be worth my while.
Valvatorez continued to attack SMG4 himself and used his Meteor Shower attack to summon… well… meteors that SMG4 dodged by jumping around the arena. He stopped to grab the last meteor and kicked it right into Valvatorez’s face to daze him.
Valvatorez: Well played, but I have plenty more spells up my sleeve!
SMG4: Oh yeah? Well you’re not the only one with magic! Take this! Wingardium Leviosa!
SMG4 fired a small ball of light out of his hand that slowly made its way to Valvatorez.
Valvatorez: Well isn’t that just the cutest thing…
The small slow ball of light turned into a big and fast explosion that was even greater than the one that killed the demon. SMG4 watched the resulting smoke clear, hoping that the blast had knocked out his opponent, though when it did clear SMG4’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. This was because Valvatorez not only survived, but his body had gotten a lot more jacked and with that jacked body he slammed SMG4 to the ground.
Valvatorez: Clever trick, but it’s the end of the line! Any last words!
SMG4: Uhh… Did you know your voice actor also voiced Batman AND Joker?
Valvatorez: He did? But that means he’s his own worst enemy. Wouldn’t that mean he hates himself? And if he’s me, do I hate myself?
Valvatorez got so caught up in SMG4’s big brained thought that he kept rambling about the complications until his brain couldn’t take it anymore and exploded. SMG4 got up and dusted himself off wondering what to do next.
He figured it out when he felt a shockwave coming from Joker’s Arsene clashing with Cell’s Moista Fiesta. The Persona slashes and Stand punches were running wild, tearing up the battlefield with their intensity, yet both users were insistent on pushing things further.
Joker: How!? How can that dumb-looking bear be so powerful!?
Cell: It’s simple. As your Stands put it: I am thou, and thou art I. And if I am perfect, then thy Stand is also perfect.
With that remark, Cell had Moista Fiesta throw a punch so powerful that it made Arsene dissipate and hit Joker as well, sending him flying several feet. Cell saw that his other opponent, SMG4, just a few more feet away and got excited as he went into Golden form.
Cell: There you are! Now we can get back to the action!
SMG4: Hell yeah! I’m going to beat you so hard that YouTube will have to demonetize the violence!
SMG4 brought out another rocket launcher and ran towards Cell who proceeded to do the same. In the middle of the battlefield Joker got up and attempted to recover, but it was too late as SMG4 and Cell were about to launch their attacks with him in the crossfire.
Joker: Looks like it’s game over…
The two YouTuber caused a massive explosion that killed Joker and left his fight with Valvatorez inconclusive. It was unfortunate for the readers wishing for a proper conclusion, but even more unfortunate for the man who wrote the fight, a buffed up Waluigi named Cipher013.
Cipher: What the f*ck is this?
Cipher had just read his altered fight and did not like the unwanted interference. He grabbed his staff and zapped the laptop, turning its monitor into a portal that led right into the fight.
Cipher: I’m not letting those jerks get away with this!
Cipher went through the portal and entered Mementos where he saw SMG4 and Cell clashing with each other. He fired a lightning bolt to make them stop and direct their attention towards him.
SMG4: Oh no! It's Waluigi!
Cipher: Whoops, one second.
Cipher went back through the portal and came back wearing a shirt that said “I am not Waluigi”.
SMG4: Oh no! It’s not Waluigi!
Cell: No sh*t. Have you ever seen Waluigi this cut before?
SMG4: I guess you never saw the Waluigi Arc.
Cipher: (*Ahem*) You think you can just waltz into MY world, and ruin MY fight!? Do you have any idea who you are dealing with!?
SMG4: Some Waluigi wannabee?
Cell: An ugly guy with an uglier shirt?
Cipher: That’s it! Prepare to feel unfathomable pain for all eternity!
Cipher swung down his staff and released a violet blast of energy that pushed SMG4 and Cell back. The latter was not intimidated by this and charged up ki in his hands as a retort.
Cell: You think you’re a threat, buddy? Your power is nothing compared to my Golden form. KAMEHAMEHA!
Cell fired his Kamehameha, but Cipher used his staff to block it via forcefield. The Waluigi clone then transformed his staff into a scythe and impaled Cell with it faster than the android could react.
Cipher: Nice try, but I know that form loses a lot of fights.
Cell: Ah sh*t, he figured it out.
Cipher sliced Cell’s body in half and while the android would inevitably regenerate from that, he was down for the time being leaving only SMG4 left to deal with the attacker.
SMG4: Please don’t hurt me! I’ll give you this invite to Nickelodeon All-Stars!
Cipher: Don’t you mean Smash Bros.?
SMG4: Do I look like a miracle worker to you?
SMG4’s bargain failed as Cipher sliced off the arm holding the Nickelodeon All-Stars invite. Cipher continued his assault by telekinetically lifting SMG4 into the air and throwing him around like a ragdoll, slamming him into multiple walls before throwing him onto Cell.
Cipher: Tuckered out boys? The fun is just getting started! Now who wants to have their d*ck sliced off first?
SMG4: Wait wait wait! We didn’t mean to intrude into your place! We were brought here against our will by an evil clown and a midget.
Cipher: Really?
Cell: I want to say it was something else, but yeah, that’s what happened.
Cipher: Then I guess it’s not entirely your fault. I’ll just give you a light punishment for killing my fighter and be on my way.
SMG4: Sweet. What’s this “light punishment” anyways?
Cipher: Being erased from existence!
Cell: You motherf*cker! That is not a “light punishment”!
The Waluigi clone didn’t care and hit the two with a ball of electricity that zapped them away from existence.
Cipher: I love doing that.
Cipher left the battlefield satisfied, knowing that his enemies had been effectively killed and no longer existed anywhere in time and space… or so he thought.
Part 4: Beyond Space, Time, and Sanity[]
In the wasteland known as the Internet Graveyard, SMG3 was having a great day.
SMG3: What a great day I’m having. Plenty of new dead memes dropped in, my viewers are at an all time high, and the Ugandan Knuckles have only attacked me 3 times in the past hour. Welp, just one thing left to do today.
SMG3 walked into the Starbucks, greeting his “adoring fans” as they ignored him and made his way to the bathroom.
SMG3: Time to take a pi$$.
SMG3 kicked down the door to the bathroom only to find it occupied by his nemesis SMG4 who had his head stuck in the toilet.
SMG3: And just like that, my day is ruined.
SMG3 reluctantly pulled SMG4 out of the toilet and the memelord quickly regained his senses. Upon seeing SMG3 he realized where he was and what happened to him.
SMG4: SMG3? Thanks for pulling me out of the toilet… I guess.
SMG3: Whatever. Could you tell me what you're doing here? Because I don’t remember inviting you to MY domain.
SMG4: I sort of got erased from existence again. You think you can do that thing where you make a portal back to the Mushroom Kingdom? Pretty please?
SMG3: Only if you promise to stay there this time! Now where did I put my phone?
The delightful conversation between enemies was brought to an abrupt halt when a Ugandan Knuckles crashed into the room. The two Meme Guardians stared at the dead meme for a bit before a horde of them also crashed into the room.
SMG3: What’s going on? Who’s throwing all these Knuckles around?
SMG3 was answered by Cell flying through the ceiling, covered in Ugandan Knuckles desperately trying to get them off.
Cell: Aaah! My nightmares have come to life! The ebola is everywhere! Everywhere!
SMG3: SMG4, explain.
SMG4: He’s a YouTuber who's trying to kill me because I’m better than him.
SMG3: Oh hell no! That’s my job!
Cell eventually got all the Knuckles off of him and into a pile. For good measure, he fired ki blasts until he was certain the clicking atrocities were dead, but it also did major damage to Starbucks in the process. This made SMG3 angrier at the bug man so the evil memelord stepped forward to confront him.
SMG3: Hey a$$hole! This Starbucks is the only place with free Wi-Fi! You better stop destroying everything right now and get lost or I’m going to throw you into my new death pit!
Cell: Tell that to Maya.
SMG3: Who’s Maya?
Cell: Maya huge c*ck!
Cell kicked SMG3 so hard that he flew out the ceiling and into the horizon.
Cell: And where do you think you’re going?
Cell turned around and pointed his hand at a certain someone trying to tiptoe to the exit. That person knew he was screwed as another ki blast was sure to hit him.
SMG4: Ah sh*t.
Bad Piggy vs Goomba by Hatty With a hat[]
A few miles away from the Starbucks was a simple battlefield with a bunch of eggs in the middle. A Goomba and a green Piggy, both starving, saw the eggs and hopped over to eat them.
Piggy: Good thing those birds are gone… and oh wait who’s that?
Goomba: I’m a Goomba. I am hungry so gonna take these eggs!
Piggy: Wait, no! Those are mine!
Goomba: Wanna fight for it?
Piggy: Sure.
Just as the two were about to engage in combat, a flaming SMG4 fell down from the sky and crushed… a rock that was five feet away from the eggs.
Piggy: That was close. We almost lost our food.
Goomba: Yeah. I would be really mad at the person who destroyed those eggs.
That was when Cell flew down and smashed the eggs into a pile of yolk.
Cell: Ew, I think I stepped in something.
Piggy: The eggs!
Goomba: Now I’m mad! Get him!
Cell: Say what now?
The Goomba bashes Cell on the head with his Headbonk attack making two ones appear to indicate damage. Cell is hardly fazed by the attack and smacks the Goomba away only for the Bad Piggy to run him over with a car made mostly of wood. The android teleported out of the way and blasted the car apart, sending the Piggy flying. However, he failed to realize that the car also had TNT crates inside it and those crates were now heading in Cell direction.
Cell: Sh*t.
Cell flew up into the air to avoid the crates before they exploded.
Cell: That was close.
SMG4: Excuse me sir, I think you dropped this.
Cell turns to see SMG4 up close trying to hand him an unexploded crate of TNT, which he blissfully accepts.
Cell: Why thank you… wait a minute…
The crate goes off and blasts Cell to the ground where SMG4 meets him to strike with a repeated series of ground pounds.
SMG4: Take that! And that! You like the taste of my a$$ don’t you?
(*Zarbon moans in the-
Cell: YOU’RE HAVING TOO MUCH FUN WITH THAT!
Goomba: Hey! Blue Mario! That guy is ours to beat up!
SMG4: So? I was beating him up way before it was cool!
Cell: Technically it was cool way way before you-
SMG4 ground pounds Cell again to shut him up.
Piggy: Stop doing that to OUR enemy or we’ll kick your a$$ too!
SMG4: Oh yeah? You and what army?
I’m sure you all know how this cliche goes. The Piggy and Goomba whistled simultaneously and an army of their respective brethren appeared behind him. SMG4 figured out what he did wrong and started slapping himself on the face repeatedly.
SMG4: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Never ask that question!
Goomba: Charge!
The Piggies and Goombas charged at SMG4 who ran away screaming. He knew he couldn’t outrun the army forever so he looked for a place to hide to which he found Hyrule Castle with the CDi King standing outside.
King: Hmm… I wonder what’s for dinner.
SMG4 ran into the castle and locked the front door. The King was confused as to why some stranger ran in until he saw the wave of basic enemies coming to crush him.
King: OH MY GOD!
SMG4 had his back against the front door, keeping it shut as the rapid thuds of pigs, mushrooms, and a king-sized corpse banged against the wall. He waited until the banging stopped and backed away from the door assuming his assailants had left.
SMG4: Phew, looks like I’m safe for now.
The memelord walked further into the castle, but stopped when Cell teleported right in front of him and caught him by surprise.
Cell: Nice place you got here.
SMG4: Aw godd*mmit! You’re back?
Cell: Calm down. I’m just here to give you a nice housewarming gift.
Cell showed SMG4 his “housewarming gift” which was a shotgun pointed right at his face.
SMG4: Hey! I saw that get disintegrated by a demon! How the hell did you get it back?
Cell: F*ck you, that’s how.
Cell fired his gun which blasted the memelord to the front door. The effects of the DevilArtemis shotgun sunk in quickly and SMG4’s body faded from existence. Perfect Cell thought he had won, but unfortunately he didn’t know that the Internet Graveyard was where all things erased from existence end up. To prove that fact, the re-erased SMG4 crashed through the castle roof and landed in front of Cell.
Cell: That’s impossible! I erased you from existence!
SMG4: So? Where did you think I was going to go? Detroit?
Cell: No, but hopefully you’ll go to HFIL after a few more rounds.
The android readied his shotgun once again, but before he could pull the trigger a crystal flew into the gun and turned it into a stick of TNT that blew up in Cell’s face.
Cell: Ok, how the f*ck does that make any sense? And who threw that anyway?
Piggy: Hah. Got em.
SMG4 and Cell looked up to see a Bad Piggy and Goomba staring through the hole SMG4 made moments earlier.
Goomba: We found a way in! Let’s get them fellas!
The Piggy and Goomba armies jumped through the hole and attacked the YouTubers. Despite being weak individually, their numbers more than compensated and they were able to overwhelm their enemies in no time, tackling them so fast and frequently that they couldn’t fight back. After a few seconds of merciless beatings, SMG4 was launched to the edge of the room. He saw that dozens of Piggies and Goombas were coming after him and acted immediately as he pulled out a Pokéball.
SMG4: Not so fast! Baldi, I choose you!
The Memelord threw the Pokéball and out popped a bald meme in a green shirt, a.k.a Baldi.
Baldi: Hi kids! Are you ready to learn some math?
Baldi pulled out his ruler and “educated” the minions by swatting them away with it. He continued disciplining the Piggies and Goombas, eventually clearing enough of them to break Cell free from their assault. The android decided to join in on the fun by pulling out his Duel Disk and getting his inner-virgin on.
Cell: Your army is great, but I have the power of God and anime on my side! I summon Ronald McDonald!
Ronald: Ba da ba ba baaaa, diabetes.
Ronald appeared out of thin air and threw burgers at the Piggies and Goombas which exploded and sent the minions flying away.
Cell: And I’m done yet. Since nobody is around to rule shark me, I also summon the Legendary Ricardo Milos!
A dancing Brazilian man in a red bandanna appears beside Ronald leaving their targets quaking in fear.
Cell: Ricardo! Twerk away their Life Points!
Ricardo did as instructed and shaked his butt on the minions until they died from his sexiness. Cell’s monsters were clearing away the Piggies and Goombas much faster than Baldi, and that made SMG4 jealous as he pulled out three more Pokéballs.
SMG4: You’re not outpacing my memes! Show him what you got boys!
SMG4 threw the Pokéballs to summon Eggman, Big Smoke, and Spamton. The three attacked the armies with Eggman drowning the Piggies by pi$$ing on them like they were the moon, Big Smoke crushing Goombas with his bat, and Spamton taking them both down with [Hyperlink Blocked]. The memes proved mighty as they made short work of all the enemies, except for the original Bad Piggy and Goomba who started the fight.
Goomba: This isn’t good…
Piggy: And it’s about to get worse! Look out behind you!
The Goomba turned around to see that Ricardo was coming to twerk on him and the Piggy and the two screamed as they ran away. Ricardo chased after them without losing twerking momentum, but he ended up bumping into Baldi by accident and that was a huge mistake.
Baldi: Oh, you better believe that’s a paddlin’.
Baldi forcibly grabbed Ricardo and brought him onto his lap. The teacher slapped Ricardo’s a$$ with his ruler until the man could twerk no more. His a$$ damage was so severe that he shattered into pieces and left Cell with one less monster. To make things worse, SMG4’s memes were now coming after him to beat him up.
SMG4: Ha! You’re memes are no match for mine! It would take some bullsh*t for you to win now!
Cell: What a coincidence. I just so happen to have that card right here. I play Some Bullshit!
Cell plays his Spell Card: Some Bullshit and a flash envelops the castle halls. Suddenly, SMG4’s memes turn around and head towards their former master. The memelord was barely able to dodge a bat swing from Big Smoke before realizing what had happened.
SMG4: Did you just take control of my memes? That is some bulls*t!
Cell: That’s the idea. But, at least you still get something out of it.
SMG4: Really? What?
Ronald McDonald, who had switched to SMG4’s side via Some Bullshit, came from behind and gave the memelord a surprise hug.
Ronald: I bring you love.
SMG4: Ahh! Scary Clown!
SMG4 freaked out and kicked Ronald into the air, making another hole into the roof and leaving SMG4 alone to face his former allies.
SMG4: Probably shouldn’t have done that.
Though in reality, that was the best possible move. Ronald flew high up into the clouds and crashed into a passing plane knocking it out of the sky. The plane plummeted rapidly into the castle and destroyed it in a fiery explosion. As a result, SMG4 and Cell were launched out of the castle and landed near a giant hole.
SMG4: I’m getting really tired of being exploded, banished, and Rickrolled all over the place.
Cell: You and me both. I’m just hoping this ends soon, don’t care who dies at this point.
SMG4 and Cell got up at the same time and came at each other. The memelord started off by throwing a few kicks, but Cell blocked them then uppercutted SMG4 into the air. He followed it up by Instant Transmissioning all over the place and hit SMG4 from different angles. The combo played out successfully until SMG4 began reading Cell’s movements, and caught his arm in the middle of a punch. SMG4 used the arm to throw Cell into the nearby hole only for the android to stop himself in mid-air thanks to the power of flight.
That didn’t stop SMG4 who dropkicked Cell right in the stomach, making him rapidly plummet into the abyss. The memelord used the momentum of the attack to jump right back to the edge only to be greeted by Cell who teleported back to the surface.
Cell: You won’t believe what kind of horrifying monster lives down there. Want to meet him?
Cell was just about to punch SMG4 into the hold when a giant wooden boot fell from the sky to interrupt their fight. The two looked up to behold the high heels and saw two familiar figures at the top.
Piggy: What’s up, b*tches!
Goomba: We survived that castle exploding, and worked together to make this boot so we can stomp ya, while we stomp ya!
Cell: Was a boot really the best thing you morons could come up with?
Piggy: You tell me.
The wooden boot stomped forward, creating a tremor that knocked the YouTubers back a bit and closer to the giant hole. They both knew the boot would kick them into the abyss one way or the other, but then SMG4 remembered something that could bail them out.
SMG4: Hold on. This is the Internet Graveyard, right?
Cell: I don’t know what the f*ck that is, but for the sake of the plot, yes.
SMG4: That means we just need to make these two relevant again, and they’ll go back to the real world.
Cell: And we do that how?
SMG4: By making a meme!
SMG4 pulled out his laptop and typed away on it like crazy. The Piggy and Goomba were curious on what their target was trying to pull and looked down from the boot just in time to witness their meme pop out of the laptop.
SMG4: Gentlemen! Behold!
Piggy: Hey, that’s not half bad.
Goomba: Yeah, you really captured my a$$ in that one.
Piggy: You have an a$$?
SMG4: Glad you liked it because it already has a zillion likes on Twitter, which means you’re relevant again, congratulations!
A heavenly light shone above the Piggy and Goomba and abducted them back to the real world to spread their meme-eness… much to their reluctance.
Goomba: No! Wait! I’m not done here!
Piggy: I never even got my eggs!
SMG4: Jobs done.
SMG4 was feeling pretty good about himself, but Cell ruined that moment by grabbing the meme from his hands and throwing it into the big hole.
Cell: That meme was f*cking trash!
Cell then grabbed SMG4 by the throat and held him over the hole with the intent of dropping him in it.
Cell: And so are you! Best to throw you both away!
Cell was about to let go when the Earth suddenly began to shake. This stopped the android murder attempt as his eyes narrowed knowing that the thing he saw in the hole was coming out.
Cell: Oh f*ck! Not him!
From the deepest depths of the hole emerged a gargantuan monster with many eyes and a crown on his head. His name was Vrokorta and in his hands was the meme that caused his awakening.
Vrokorta: Who made this thing that fell into my hole? I need to have a word with them.
Cell knew the monster was terrifying, but he didn’t expect him to be so big. Hoping to avoid a fight, he dropped SMG4 and pointed at him.
Cell: It was him! He’s the one who made that cringe!
Vrokorta: Is that so?
Vorkorta leaned in and stared intently at SMG4 who was too scared to say anything.
SMG4: I… uhh… umm…
Vrokorta: This meme… is hilarious! I’ve never seen anything this funny before! Can you autograph this for me?
SMG4: Oh, you’re a fan. Ok, sure.
Cell: You’ve got to be f*cking kidding me.
SMG4 signed his meme, and Vrokorta got back up to admire the signature as his many eyes formed hearts in the center.
Vrokorta: Oh my God! I’m going to tell all my friends about this! They're going to be so jealous!
Of course, in the Internet Graveyard there can only be one memelord and said memelord came flying on a cloud to knock the meme out of Vrokorta’s hands.
SMG3: No! Bad, Vrokorta! You’re supposed to be the monster that lives in my new death pit! Don’t go getting goo-goo eyes for my arch-nemesis!
Vrokorta: Sorry, boss. Wait… if he’s your arch-nemesis, do I have to destroy him?
SMG3: Nah, he can live for now. Destroy that other guy instead.
Cell: Oh come on!
Vrokorta: Yay!
Vrokorta got all murder-happy and went straight to work, grabbing Cell with his giant hand and dragging him into the hole. Violent sounds and flashes of light erupted from the hole, and on occasion the Meme Guardians could hear Cell screaming in pain.
SMG4: Wow, that guy was surprisingly nice.
SMG3: I know, right? There’s actually a pretty funny story about how we first met. It all started when-
SMG4: No time for filler. Can you open the portal already?
SMG3: Ok, fine! You won’t let me have any fun.
SMG3 got his smartphone out and used it to open a portal back to the Mushroom Kingdom. The two memelords walked through it together, though SMG3 had an interesting question to ask.
SMG3: Say, if you were erased from existence, then who’s making YouTube videos in the Mushroom Kingdom?
SMG4: Don’t know, but whatever they’re making is probably really boring.
The portal closed leaving Cell trapped with Vrokorta in the hole. It was a desperate struggle for the android, but he eventually flew out and tried to blast Vrokorta with as much ki as possible to keep him down there. That wasn’t enough as Vrokorta powered through the blasts and headbutted Cell dozens of feet away. The monster then formed a Grand Star in his hand and threw it at Cell, creating a golden explosion that the android barely survived.
Cell: Godd*mmit! I don’t even want to fight you! Do you really have to do what that pr*ck tells you to do?
Vrokorta: I’ll have you know SMG3 pays me really well to do this. Plus this job has full health and dental.
Cell: Oh sh*t! That’s a good deal. But it won’t matter because you won’t be killing me today. In fact, I have a secret weapon for dealing with big a$$ monsters like you!
Vrokorta: Oh yeah, and what’s that?
Cell: Oh, Zarbon!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
Vrokorta: Zarbon? Who the hell is that?
Cell: A creature who causes nothing but a$$ destruction.
Vrokorta: You mean “mass” destruction?
Cell: I know what I said.
Zarbon’s moans got louder and louder and soon he was within Vrokorta’s eyesight.
Vrokorta: I just HAD to pick the form with a bunch of tongues!
The monster screamed in Gangster Paradise style before the pervert collided with him and created a huge explosion. With his opponent defeated, Cell teleported out of the Internet Graveyard while Zarbon did things best left unmentioned for Vrokorta’s sake.
Back in the Mushroom Kingdom, the lack of SMG4 forced two other individuals to make a boring video in their place. Their boring video was about them having an epic final battle between good and evil. The hero, a blue robot bear named Ethaneyu183, threw a Detroit Smash at BeautifulDuwanged, a villainous platypus that looked like a pharmacist. The platypus matched the punch with his teal fist causing the two to repel each other and land on other ends of the street.
Ethaneyu: It’s the end of the line, BeautifulDuwanged! I’ll kill you and ensure that NFTs never become a profitable market!
BeautifulDuwanged didn’t say anything and held up a middle finger in response. This enraged Ethaneyu who threw a series of punches at his enemy only for them to be deflected by BeautifulDuwanged’s brilliant martial art skills. The platypus then retaliates by grabbing hold of the bear’s arm and punching him so hard that the rest of his body detached from it.
BeautifulDuwanged gave an evil smirk and looked at the arm he took which unexpectedly slapped him in the face, freeing itself from the villain’s grip. The arm crawled back and reattached itself to Ethaneyu who ignited some flames in his mouth for a special anime attack.
Ethaneyu: Brace yourself! This attack not only melts steel, it can make you into a roast duck dinner! Fire Dragon Slayer Roarrrr!
Ethaneyu launched a huge stream of fire from his mouth that BeautifulDuwanged was barely able to dodge with a backflip. The fire blast kept going down the road and headed towards a familiar figure who was back in business after being used to destroy a wall.
♪ Waluigiiiiiiii’s Taco Stand! ♪
Waluigi turned to see the fire attack coming towards him and realized that he had been caught in yet another fight that would not end well for him.
Waluigi: Oh no, not again.
The fiery roar hit Waluigi so hard that it launched him all the way into space for foreshadowing purposes.
Ethaneyu: Well at least I hit someone.
While Ethaneyu watched Waluigi ascend to the stars, BeautifulDuwanged snuck up behind him and prepared to karate chop his neck. However, a portal manifested between the two, knocking them away as SMG4 and SMG3 emerged from it.
SMG4: Ahh, it’s good to be back.
Ethaneyu: What the!? Are these you’re evil NFT selling minions of evil!?
BeautifulDuwanged shook his head rapidly to make it clear that the Meme Guardians were not with him.
SMG4: Huh? What’s going on here?
Ethaneyu: Obviously, the most epic battle between a blue hero and an evil monstrosity of science.
SMG4: Are you sure? Because this hardly looks like an epic battle.
Cell dropped in via teleportation, and apparently heard everything prior, so he decided to add his own opinion.
Cell: Yeah, and that’s basically what we’re doing. You’re just a cheap copy of our masterpiece.
Ethaneyu: How dare you insult us like that! We need to teach these guys a lesson! Right, BeautifulDewanged?
BeautifulDewanged pulled out a sign that said “Yeah!”. A secret section fell down a second later saying “Buy my NFTs” in small subliminal writing.
Cell: Oh boy, here we go again.
SMG4: We’re going to be the ones teaching you with our lesson in “a$$ whooping”!
SMG3: Can I just say something?
Everyone Else: NO!
SMG3: Ok then…
Ethaneyu and BeautifulDuwanged got into fighting stances in order to face the battle-ready YouTubers and the confused SMG3. They were about to leap into action when a nearby building exploded to catch their attention. From that explosion came a buffed up Kermit and a Super Saiyan Mario rapidly exchanging blows with each other as they moved across the city.
Ethaneyu: What the f-
Ethaneyu didn’t get to finish that swear as Kermit smacked Mario right into him. The plumber got and punched Kermit in the chest, knocking him back in the process.
Kermit: Eat my Froggy Beam, a$$hole!
Kermit blasted lasers from his mouth that Mario acrobatically dodged. The laser also went in BeautifulDuwanged’s direction, and the platypus tried to dodge for a while, but the last one hit directly and sent him through a building.
Ethaneyu: Where are all these people coming from!? Ah well, the more the merrier!
Ethaneyu jumped into the air to attack Kermit who didn’t notice the bear, though he did notice Mario teleport behind him holding a bat.
Mario: Mario’s going to do something very illegal.
Mario swung the bat upwards only for Kermit to teleport out of the way. Instead, the bat hit Ethaneyu in his robotic nutsack right as he got in range.
Ethaneyu: Aghh! Right in the wingnuts!
Ethaneyu fell to the ground holding on to his precious babies and Mario joined him on the ground as well.
Mario: You’re not that stupid frog! Where’d he go!
Kermit: Right here, b*tch!
Kermit descended to the ground, landing on Ethaneyu so hard that his body exploded.
Kermit: You are a worthy opponent. I’ll honor your death with my ultimate technique: the AK-47 with Extendo Mags. YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Kermit let loose his twin machine guns and fired a flurry of bullets at Mario. The plumber didn’t let that faze him as he ran through the bullets with ease to close in on his enemy.
Mario: FALCON HUMP!
Mario took off his clothes and humped Kermit so hard that his buff body was sent flying. Meanwhile, BeautifulDuwanged had recovered from the Froggy Beam and slowly got up. He was still a bit dazed though he could still see a big green figure coming to crash into him. The platypus held up a sign saying “You’re a despicable person, Professor Mewtwo” right before Kermit crashed into him and put him into another daze. Kermit shook off the damage and saw that Mario was now charging up a huge fireball in his hands.
Mario: You don’t f*ck with Mario!
Mario hurled his fireball that threatened to burn Kermit to a crisp. Thinking quickly, the Muppet saw BeautifulDuwanged’s unconscious body and picked it up to use as a human shield. The fireball hit BeautifulDuwanged and burned his body into a pile of ash.
Kermit: Now that’s a spicy meatball.
Cell: Ok, time the f*ck out! What the hell are you two doing? Because it’s causing filler!
Kermit: Umm… We’re having a climactic battle to the death. Haven’t you been reading this fight?
Cell: Kermit, this is OUR climactic battle to the death! It says so in the title!
Kermit: Oh yeah… guess I forgot about that. Do you think Professor Mewtwo will do DevilArtemis Kermit vs SMG4 Mario for a future episode?
Cell: F*ck that! Let someone else do it!
SMG4: Hey, why are you two fighting anyways?
Mario: That stupid frog tried to poison me with terrible spaghetti!
Kermit: For the 50th time, that was ramen, not spaghetti!
Mario: Well ramen tastes like a$$! You should sell spaghetti instead!
Kermit: Make me pu$$y!
SMG3: You people are making me dumber. SMG4, why can’t you just kill that guy already?
SMG4: It’s harder than it looks. I doubt you could do better.
SMG3: As a matter of fact, I think I can. Move aside and watch how a real man fights.
Kermit: Hey, three against two isn’t fair!
SMG3: I don’t care, I’m evil!
Cell: I won’t matter anyways. There is no way I’m losing to three dumba$$ Italians! Now prepare yourself for the longest, most intense battle of your pathetic lives!
Umm… excuse me, Professor Mewtwo here. I can’t let you drag out this fight any longer, I don’t really have the time for that.
SMG4: But this fight is over 35,000 words long! How did you not have room for this?
Look, I had a lot of good stuff planned for this, but I couldn’t fit everything in. I had to skip the strip club scene for crying out loud.
Bob: WhAt!? YoU sKiPpEd OvEr OuR sCeNe! ThAt WaS mY fAvOrItE pArT!
Roshi: Now we’ll never get our coochie!
(*Sigh*) Guys, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you later, but for now can you please skip to the part where you use your trump cards and have an epic space battle with Sans and Sheldon Cooper? I would really appreciate that.
SMG4: Fine. You ready, SMG3?
SMG3: Let’s do this!
SMG4 and SMG3 held hands together and held their free hands upwards.
Cell: Ha! GAAAAAY!
SMG4: Shut up! It’s part of our trump card!
The combined powers of the Meme Guardians caused all the memes in the Mushroom Kingdom to turn into balls of light. They all gathered above SMG4 and SMG3, waiting for them to put their energy to use.
SMG4: Quick! Shove it up Mario’s a$$!
Mario: What!?
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
That’s the last one, I swear.
SMG4 and SMG3 guided the meme energy into Mario who grew bigger with each ball inserted. The plumber eventually grew to the size of a mountain, towering over Perfect Cell and Kermit who looked at him in shock, and the two Meme Guardians hitched a ride on his shoulders.
Mario: Mario think you’re f*cked! You’re just f*cked!
Cell: Not yet, we’re not! Kermit, time to show these pu$$ies what a real trump card looks like!
Kermit: Say no more, Cell.
Cell & Kermit: Fusion ha!
Cell and Kermit did a dance and touched fingers together, resulting in a bright flash of light that covered them both. When it cleared, a being with the appearance of both the frog and android was present and exerting a large amount of ki.
Cellmit: I am neither Kermit nor Perfect Cell! I am the one who will steal your b*tch, Cellm-
Mario didn’t care for Cellmit’s speech and kicked the android frog into the air. The latter stopped himself in midair, but was not happy about the attack.
Cellmit: You sick b*stard! Never interrupt an anime character while they're in the middle of their monolog!
Cellmit angrily flew at Mario and punched him with all his might. Though the plumber blocked it, the force of the blow still knocked him back and Cellmit flew in to deal those same blows over and over. Mario eventually had enough and tried to swat his opponent, but Cellmit dodged the attack and countered by uppercutting him into the air then spiking him back down to Earth. Mario was dazed by the blow and SMG3 tried to wake him up while SMG4 stared at his fused opponent who was cupping his hands together for a powerful ki blast.
SMG4: Just what the hell are you?
Cellmit: A 100% genuine pu$$y magnet. KAMEHAMEHA!
Cellmit fired a Kamehameha from his hands that blasted Mario deep into the Earth. He was blasted so far down that he reached the Earth’s core. Fortunately, that was around the same moment Mario woke up and jumped off the core as headed back to the surface. Mario made it back to Cellmit and punched him with his giant fist, catching him in it as they flew to the Moon in order to crush him into it.
The android frog wouldn’t allow that to happen and landed feet first on the Moon so he could press back against the fist with his hands. It appeared to be an evenly-matched struggle until Cellmit heard someone calling him from Mario’s left shoulder.
SMG3: Hey! Over here!
Cellmit looked at SMG3 and saw that he had the “ok sign” held upside down and near his crotch. And inside the “ok hole” was a gun pointing right at him.
Cellmit: Oh you son of a-
SMG3 shot Cellmit in the face with his gun, causing a concussion and allowing Mario to throw a new punch that shattered the moon into pieces and launched Cellmit into the depths of space.
Sans Vs Sheldon Cooper by TheDerpyPotato[]
On the other side of the solar system, another epic battle of cosmic proportions was taking place. Sans the skeleton and Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory were wearing spacesuits as they attacked each other with a sword made of light and sharp bone respectively. Their blows clashed with equal force creating shockwaves that shook the universe. They eventually reached Saturn where they got interrupted by Cellmit colliding with the planet, making it explode so hard that it resulted in a shockwave ten times bigger than the ones they were making.
Sans: Hmm… I don’t remember this being part of the script.
Sheldon: Uh-oh. I think we’re cameo-ing in someone else’s fight.
It was right then that Mario showed up to further harm Cellmit and did so by punting him far away. The plumber was going to chase after him, but Cellmit came back pushing Uranus (ha-ha) with his hands and gave a big shove to launch it at his enemy. Mario was pushed back by the planet until he threw it aside and unintentionally towards Sans and Seldon who barely managed to dodge it. Removing the planet allowed him to see Cellmit right as he fired a barrage of Destructo Discs that ripped Mario’s mustache to pieces.
Mario: Oh you motherf*cker!
Mario did not like that very much and furiously charged at Cellmit. He was moving so fast that the Meme Guardians had to cling to his shoulders to avoid falling off.
SMG3: Slow down you idiot! You’re going to lose us!
SMG4: It’s just a mustache! It will grow back!
Their words fell on deaf ears as Mario ignored them and tried to punch Cellmit. The android frog dodged the attack with little effort and fired a ki blast at Mario’s eyes, blinding him long enough for Cellmit to unleash a beat rush that sent Mario all the way to Jupiter which he destroyed with his fata$$. Cellmit went after him leaving Sans and Sheldon to ponder about what they just saw.
Sheldon: My, those two might cause more destruction than we will.
Sans: Yeah. We should probably go stop them.
Sheldon: I never said I wanted to intervene.
Sheldon and Sans then heard another explosion in the distance and knew what happened.
Sans: Aaand there goes Mars.
Sheldon: Fine, let’s go stop them.
Elsewhere, Mario and Cellmit were still throwing punches at each other. Despite the difference in hand size, they were equal in strength. Mario amped up the pressure by clapping Cellmit with enough force to crush him into a cube which he punched closer to the Earth. The plumber got in position to Backwards Long Jump into Cellmit and destroy him along with the Earth. He rapidly humped the air and moved quickly, but his murder attempt was ruined by three lasers knocking him to the side, the source of which was Sans and his Gaster Blasters.
Sans: Somebody is looking for a bad time!
Sans continued his assault on Mario by firing his Gaster Blasters some more and they hit the plumber directly, but the skeleton didn’t notice that SMG4 was on his target’s shoulder and he wasn’t going to let Sans get away with his plan.
SMG4: Oh no you don’t!
SMG4 threw dozens of bombs at Sans, destroying the Gaster Blasters and forcing Sans to dodge the excess explosives. The skeleton was no stranger to dodging fatal attacks, but there were so many bombs that even he couldn’t avoid them forever. He tried making a wall of bones to shield himself only for the bombs to easily destroy it and knock him back from the resulting blasts.
While that was going on, Cellmit regenerated his body back from its cube state. He saw that his opponents were distracted fighting Sans and charged up a Kamehameha to kill them all.
Cellmit: Perfect! You’re all wide open! Nothing could ruin this moment!
Sheldon: Actually there are several things that could ruin this moment. One of them is me.
Cellmit turned around to see Sheldon right behind him as the latter impaled him with the light sword and kicked the former away. The android frog retaliated by firing a Froggy Beam from his mouth, though thanks to the Flash suit Sheldon was wearing he had the speed necessary to maneuver through the attacks.
Sheldon: Bazinga!
Sheldon appeared behind Cellmit again, to which the android frog responded by firing a ki blast that Sheldon effortlessly dodged.
Sheldon: Bazinga!
Sheldon repeated his actions, appearing behind Cellmit and getting out of the way at the last second all in an effort to make his opponent tire himself out.
Sheldon: Bazinga! Bazinga! Bazinga! Bazinga! Bazinga!
Cellmit: ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSH*T!
Cellmit let out all the ki he could into a massive explosion the size of the Earth. He thought that would be enough to wipe out the genius, but Sheldon still reappeared behind Cellmit without a scratch on him.
Sheldon: Exactly as planned. You, my good sir, have just fell for classic psychological torture.
Sheldon prepared to punch Cellmit and knock him out. However, the android frog was not as exhausted as he thought and turned around to catch the punch.
Cellmit: B*tch, please! One half of me endures psychological torture for a living.
Cellmit punches Sheldon in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. He then threw Sheldon far away and towards Sans, who was currently dodging Mario’s giant punches. Sheldon accidentally bumped into Sans, stopping his flight and causing the skeleton to lose focus.
Sheldon: Sorry about that. It appears I have underestimated my adversary. Any luck on your end?
Sans: Well to be honest-
Mario smacked Sans and Sheldon aside before the former could finish and the two crashed into a chunk of the previously destroyed moon.
Sans: I think I may have gotten “Mario-ver” my head.
With both Sans and Sheldon cast aside, the meme trio and the fusion fighter redirected their attention to each other.
Cellmit: What a waste of time. Let’s get back to the real content!
SMG3: Finally, something we can agree on!
SMG4: Mario! Bust his nuts!
(*Zarbon moans in the distance*)
Ok, I lied. There was one more.
Mario: Okie dokie!
Mario and Cellmit charged at each other like a caped baldy and a sailor man about to throw their final punches. Their fists collided and created a shockwave that tore apart reality, reducing the space around them into a white void of nothingness. They kept throwing punches, making the void grow bigger and erase everything it came into contact with.
Sans: We’re too late! It’s only a matter of time before the whole universe is destroyed!
Sheldon: Time, huh? Thanks for the tip.
Sheldon used his Flash powers and ran away from the expanding void. He built up so much speed that he ran outside of reality and into the time stream which he used to go back to the point when Mario and Cellmit first entered this fight. Sheldon exited the time stream and saw Mario about to kick Cellmit away, but this time Sheldon tackled Mario in the chest and sent him flying back instead.
Past Sheldon: A future version of me? What are you doing here?
Future Sheldon: Preventing someone from doing something we were going to do.
As Sheldon conversed with the other Sheldon, Cellmit struck the Future Sheldon from behind with a bat and knocked him down.
Cellmit: This better be the last cameo. I don’t want anyone else interrupting the fight.
Cellmit whacked Future Sheldon a few more times then made an upwards swing to knock him upwards before firing the killing blow.
Cellmit: Kamehameha!
Future Sheldon: Stop them past meeeee!
Future Sheldon was hit by the Kamehameha and exploded into ash, meaning only one Sheldon remained that I no longer had to identify which Sheldon was which. Mario then came in and threw a giant punch at Cellmit who caught it with both hands and tried to push it away.
Sans: Welp, you heard you. Let’s stop them.
Sheldon: And I have just the thing for that.
Sheldon pulled out a nuclear bomb, similar to the one he used ealier in TheDerpyPotato’s version of the fight.
Sheldon: I didn’t think I would need a spare, but now I’m glad I did.
Sheldon tossed the bomb and it floated right between Mario and Cellmit who stared at it in caution.
Sheldon: Now, my simulations friend and enemy!
Sans: You got it!
Sans summoned dozens of Gaster Blasters that surrounded the bomb and fired them all at once. Their laser all hit the bomb and created a massive explosion that severly damaged the internet characters.
Mario lost control of the memes inside them and disputed them everywhere. The blast also sent him far away from the main scene alongside SMG3 who suffered the same amount of damage.
Mario: Mamma miaaaaa!
SMG3: But I didn’t get enough screen timeeeee!
On the other side, Cellmit’s body fell apart and split back into Perfect Cell and Kermit, the latter of which was blown away just like the other non-main characters.
Kermit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
The only two who stayed nearby were SMG4 and Cell, the latter of whom was looking angry which made the former panic. Seeing all the memes now scattered around him, SMG4 got an idea and put his hands into the air.
Cell: What are you doing? Why are you putting your hands into the air like you just don’t care? Care godd*mmit!
SMG4: Memes of the internet! Lend me your power!
The memes turned into balls of light again and merged into a bigger ball right above SMG4. Cell recoginized the “Spirit Bomb” and held up his own arms in response.
Cell: You really think you can beat me at my own game? Watch and learn! I call upon the h*es and the b*tches! All the thots and the milfs in the universe! Please, give me your nudes!
All the sexy nudes in existence turned into energy and made their way to Cell and formed a giant energy ball of similar size. The two YouTubers throwed their balls at the same time and those balls collided. The force of their collision caused the balls to implode and shatter a massive hole into reality. Said dimensional hole sucked up everything like a black hole from SMG4 and Cell to Sheldon and Sans.
Sheldon: It seems that there is no reality where we stop them from destroying the universe.
Sans: Then let’s go for the next best thing: kill the guys who caused it!
Sheldon nodded and the two dived deeper into the dimensional hole where SMG4 and Cell continued their fight. The two YouTubers were jumping off the fragments of reality to exchange blows with each other, moving so fast that the human eye couldn’t possibly keep track, though the eyes of a skeleton could. Sans watched the two brawl and waited for the right moment which was when Cell fired a ki blast to disintegrate SMG4. At said moment, Sans made the scene flicker and swapped places with SMG4.
Cell: Yes! Reduced to a skeleton! I win!
Sans: That sounds like a bunch of phoney ba-”boney” to me.
Cell: You’re not SMG4 are you?
Sans: Nope.
Cell: Godd*mmi-
Sans Gaster Blasted Cell out of nowhere, sending the android flying while SMG4 watched from a distance, confused about why someone else was fighting in his place.
SMG4: What the hell was that?
It was then that Sheldon sneak attacked SMG4 by wrapping his arms around him and binding him.
SMG4: What are you doing!?
Sheldon: Taking out the trash… that’s not something I normally do, but it felt like a really cool time to say it.
Sheldon grabbed SMG4 by the back of the neck and headed towards Sans who mirrored the action by grabbing Cell and heading towards him.
Sans: Geeettttttt dunked on!!!
Sheldon and Sans mashed their enemies into each other, creating an explosion powerful enough to reverse the implosion and undo the dimensional hole sending all four of them flying out of it. SMG4 and Cell were looking exhausted from the last attack, but their assailants were still in perfect fighting condition.
Sans: One more attack should do it. After that, I’m taking a nap.
Sheldon: Hopefully none of them are hiding some sort of secret weapon that could wipe us out in an instant…
Cell: You mean like an Infinity Gauntlet?
Sheldon: Yes, exactly like an Infinity Gauntlet.
Sheldon realized that it was his opponent that brought up Thanos’s infamous a$$ scratcher and turned towards him to see that the android had that exact weapon on his hand.
Sheldon: And with that, were f*cked…
Cell: Outplayed, b*tch!
Cell snapped his fingers which made his opponents slowly disintegrate into dust. Sheldon was the first to go with SMG4 and Sans followed right behind him.
SMG4: Son of a b*tch! This isn’t over you green a$$hole!
Sans: I’m pretty sure it is, bub. See you all at Grillby’s.
Cell watched as his three opponents turned to dust and scattered in the cosmic winds. Soon there was nobody left on the battlefield except the perfect android and his perfect gauntlet.
Cell: Ah ha haa! I’m surprised that actually worked! That Fat Italian isn’t coming back from that! Might as well put in that “K.O” and call it done.
Cell didn’t hear a response, only the awkward silence that filled the battlefield.
Cell: I said, might as well put in that “K.O” and call it done.
Still nothing, just silence.
Cell: Why don’t I see a “K.O”? I killed him! It’s over, right!?
SMG4: Wrong!
Cell’s a$$ clenched in fear as he heard a familiar voice. He tried to see where it was coming from, but it was too late as SMG4 came in with a katana to slice off the arm wielding the Infinity Gauntlet. The memelord then kicked it to the far end of space never to be seen again.
Cell: Not the Infinity Gauntlet! It deserved more usage in this fight!
SMG4: I told you this wasn’t over!
Cell got over the loss of his best weapon, regrew his arm, and faced his blue and white opponent once again.
Cell: How did you survive that? Nobody comes back from Thanos snapping!
SMG4: Extra lives, b*tch!
Cell: Oh, that is just cheating! The gloves are off now, a$$wipe! I’ll grace your final moments with my full unrestrained power!
Cell went into his Golden form once more and flew towards SMG4. He blitzed the memelord by repeatedly punching or kicking him far across space only to teleport to where he was going to deliver another blow. This went on for a while until SMG4 got a second wind and intercepted one of Cell’s attacks with a kick to his balls.
Cell: Ooo, my perfect d*ck!
SMG4 followed it up by doing a Mario-style wombo combo that ended with a forward smash attack that made the Smash Ultimate finishing blow effect and launched Cell into Jupiter with enough power to explode into pieces. The memelord tried to see if Cell was still standing, but his view was blocked by a rapidly approaching chunk that pelted him in the face and somehow made him feel pain elsewhere.
SMG4: Ooo, my a$$!
The one who threw the chunk was Cell who did the same with the other remains of Jupiter, forcing SMG4 to go on the defensive and dodge them all. Cell mixed things up by throwing a giant Destructo Disc which flew in an arc as it headed towards its target. SMG4 was taken by complete surprise as the Destructo Disc made a direct hit on him and pushed him all the way to Uranus (ha-ha). Despite SMG4 being in the way of it’s sharp edge, the Destructo Disc managed to slice the planet into two and dissipated right before SMG4 flew to Neptune. On said blue planet, there was another man selling tacos to the local aliens.
♪ Waluigiiiiiiii’s Taco Stand! ♪
Waluigi: Wow! Business is booming! And here I thought today was a bad day for me.
That was when SMG4 crashed on Neptune’s surface to make Waluigi’s day bad again.
Waluigi: Why can’t the world just give me a break?
SMG4: Hey buddy, how’s it going?
Waluigi: No! Stay back! I don’t want to do this anymore!
Waluigi tried to make a break for it, but SMG4 was just a bit faster and tackled Waluigi before molding him into a Waluigi Launcher.
SMG4: Going to need more power for this one! KAMEEEEE-
SMG4 started filling the Waluigi Launcher with energy right as Cell flew into Neptune’s atmosphere.
Cell: There you are!
SMG4: HAMEEEEE-
Cell: Are you charging up a special attack? That’s cute, but no.
Cell fired his Continuous Energy Bullets at SMG4 to destroy him before he made his attack.
Cell: That takes care of that.
Waluigi Launcher!
Cell looked down to see that SMG4 had teleported at the last second, finished powering up his Waluigi Launcher into a Weegee-fied version, and was holding it point-blank at Cell’s stomach.
Cell: Godd*mmit! This is the second time I fell for this tr-
SMG4 fired the upgraded Waluigi Launcher which impaled Cell and blasted him far off into the cosmos where it created a huge explosion that looked like a galaxy being spawned into existence.
Aliens: Ooooooooo!
SMG4 was certain that an explosion of that size would have completely obliterated Cell, but like Thanos once said to Thor, he should have gone for the head. And that because Cell’s head was still intact, drifting in the void of space. The android was barely conscious, the only thought running through his head was whether or not he truly had the power to defeat SMG4. Suddenly, he felt tiny footprints climbing on his head and the sound of clicking entering his ear. A tiny Ugandan Knuckles, who had stowed away on Cell since the Internet Graveyard appeared before Cell’s eyes to clear his doubts.
Knuckles: Don’t give up, my brother! He is strong with the memes, but he does not know the way. Only though the way can create true laughs, true cringe, truly binge worthy content that leaves the audience begging for more. Now show him, my brother! Show him what a real content creator is capable of!
Cell heard the Echidna’s speech word for word and snapped back into action. He regenerated his whole body and emitted ki at a power level unlike anything seen before.
Cell: Son of a b*tch, you’re right! If I want to win then I need to cringe like I’ve never cringed before! I’ll show that bootleg plumber what the way of memes is all about! I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but EBOLAAAAAAAAA!
Cell’s unleashed a bright light that overshadowed the aftermath of the Waluigi Launcher explosion. SMG4 saw the light from Neptune and gulped as he knew what that meant.
SMG4: I have a bad feeling about this…
Cell then zoomed over to SMG4, reaching him in under an attosecond to punch him hard in the chest. The memelord only got a glimpse of Cell, but saw that his body was now pure white and radiating an unfathomable amount of energy. This was Cell's strongest form: Ultra Instinct Cell.
It was at this moment SMG4 knew he f*cked up.
Cell punched SMG4 with so much force that it didn’t just send him flying, it also created a shockwave that blew up both Neptune and Pluto. The android kept up the pace by flying outside the solar system and past SMG4 who immediately felt hundreds of punches and kicks pummel him in an instant. The last blow sent SMG4 flying straight to Cell who caught him with one hand and prepared a ki blast in the other.
Cell: Go on, beg for your life. I want to hear your suffering.
SMG4: How about you hear this instead!
SMG4 whipped out the Cannon Penis whose size pushed against Cell and broke its owner out of the android’s grip.
SMG4: ♪ CAANNOONNN PEEEE-
Cell interrupted the jingle by blasting the Cannon Penis into dust and making SMG4 scream in pain.
SMG4: Aaaaaaahhhhhhh! My d*ck fell off! That’s it! No more Mr. Nice SMG4!
SMG4 ran in to deliver a flurry of punches, but Cell’s Ultra Instinct allowed him to casually dodge every blow. The memelord went for a different tactic and threw a Bomb-Omb that exploded in Cell’s face, though didn’t harm him. However, the dust managed to his field of vision and gave SMG4 the chance to get behind him and throw an extra powerful punch.
SMG4: Take this!
SMG4 threw his punch, but Cell was still too fast and turned around to swat the punch away.
Cell: Return to sender.
The swat was followed by countless punches of light that bombarded SMG4 knocking him light years away and nearly beating him unconscious. Cell could sense that this was his moment and cupped his hands together for one last Kamehameha.
Cell: Ladies and Gentlemen, SMG4 is canceled! KAMEEEHAMEEEHAAA!
Cell fired the biggest, thickest load of ki in his life (D*mn, it’s a good thing Zarbon can’t hear me) and the Kamehameha devoured SMG4 as his figure slowly disappeared in the light of the blast.
SMG4: Is this really the end for me? No matter what I do, I can’t beat his cringe. Are my memes simply not good enough to see me through this?
???: Having a moment of doubt, are we?
SMG4 opened his eyes. He couldn’t tell if he was hallucinating or not, but he saw something enter the Kamehameha to aid him. It was the Stonks Man, one of the memes he used to power up Mario that had escaped from the meme bomb when it exploded.
Stonks Man: Whether one knows the way or not does not make them a good content creator. There will be times that people dislike what you make, there will be times when what you make isn’t as hyped as you want it to be, but what really matters is that what you make comes from here.
The Stonks Man touched SMG4 on his chest and the latter pulled out something he always kept there.
SMG4: My phone!
The Stonks Man slapped SMG4.
Stonks Man: No you idiot, we’ve been over this! (*ahem*) What really matters in content creation is that it’s made from the heart. You must show the will to put everything you have into your work and never lose sight of your goal. Push yourself beyond your limits and seize every opportunity to improve upon yourself. It doesn’t matter if it’s short and sweet or long and detailed, if you can make something that you can truly be proud of then surely you will reach the people’s hearts with “The Perfect Meme”.
SMG4: Ooh! He said the name of the Soundtrack Cover!
SMG4 found the determination to fight again and the Stonks Man smiled wider, but then noticed that the Kamehameha was disintegrating his body.
Stonks Man: My time has come. Go and exterminate that bug man!
The Stonk Man was disintegrated into nothingness, but his efforts weren’t in vain as SMG4 endured the power of the Kamehameha and got into running position while a mysterious aura surrounded him.
SMG4: Let’s a go. One final meme.
Outside the Kamehameha, Cell was still blasting out his ki wondering if his opponent was dead yet.
Cell: Should I stop? I’m pretty sure I destroyed him for good this time, but I don’t want to jinx it.
Cell soon noticed a small figure running inside the Kamehameha and recognized the shape to be SMG4’s. He amped up the ki output to push him back, but it didn’t slow the memelord down one bit. During the struggle, Cell noticed SMG4’s body getting bigger and rounder making him intrigued to what was happening.
Cell: What the f*ck?
SMG4 soon got so big and round that he outgrew the Kamehameha and towered over the perfect android. Cell got a clear look at what was now a spherical version of SMG4 with a simple face a.k.a Beeg SMG4.
Cell: WHAT THE F*CK!?
SMG4 revved up his engines and prepared to ram right into Cell and destroy him. Once he started moving Cell knew he was in danger and canceled his Kamehameha and ran for his life.
Cell: No no no! No no no no no!
Cell flew as fast as he could, but Beeg SMG4 was too fast and too big to escape from and the memelord eventually tackled Cell and captured him onto his body as he kept running.
Cell: It’s too thicc! IT’S TOO THICC!!!
Beeg SMG4 ran towards the inner planets and bashed Cell into them, heavily damaging him and smashing apart the planets in the process. This included the Earth, causing all the surviving cameos to die (except the two who weren't on Earth, they get to live). Finally, Beeg SMG4 reached his destination, the Sun, and ran into it at full speed. The star slightly imploded then exploded into a mix of solar energy and meme power that wiped the galaxy into nothingness. Cell, being in the epicenter of that explosion, felt immense pain as his entire body quickly vaporized, but he still managed to grab the last bit of his strength to make one last joke.
Cell: I am hilarious, AND YOU WILL QUOTE EVERYTHING I SAAAAAYYYYY!
The explosion cleared and nothing else remained. No planets, no stars, no DevilArtemis Cell, only a Beeg SMG4 floating through space. Said Beeg SMG4 reverted back to normal SMG4 and took a sigh of relief.
SMG4: Thank God, it’s finally over. Welp, better get back to making memes.
SMG4 was about to walk back to the Earth, but realized that he destroyed it and everything else nearby.
SMG4: Oh yeah… Now what?
K.O!
SMG4 decided to get out his phone and watch memes on TikTok while drifting through space, but little did he know he was also being watched. In another universe, TFS Nappa was watching the entire fight from his computer. Seeing that SMG4 killed the guy who ripped off something from his series, Nappa gave a thumbs up and subscribed to SMG4’s YouTube channel.
Nappa: Wait, don’t you want me to say something f-
Results[]
Boomstick: Holy sh*t that was insane! Internet show characters should not have that kind of power!
Wiz: Boomstick, we’re the ones who make them fight each other.
Boomstick: Oh right. I take that back.
Wiz: SMG4 and Perfect Cell are extremely powerful beings, especially when compared to the rest of the mighty and impractical characters in their respective universes. There was no doubt that they could give each other a run for their money.
Boomstick: Their arsenals were about evenly matched and could compensate for any unique weapon the other YouTuber had. Not to mention these two could survive universe level destruction so a long dragged out fight was inevitable. The best way to figure out how this would end was to determine who had a better chance of overpowering the other first.
Wiz: Cell was technically more skilled in fighting despite his reluctance to do so, but SMG4 had the edge in every other category. Most notably, the speed difference was very clear cut. Golden could orbit the Earth at 7.5% the speed of light which is impressive, albeit nothing compared to SMG4 crossing the solar system at thousands of times the speed of light.
Boomstick: Sure, Ultra Instinct Cell is faster, but there was such a big gap that it’s doubtful that Cell could really close it. That’s why power was the perfect android’s specialty. At his best, Cell could overpower El Hermano, the guy who kills galaxies with his a$$cheeks so how the hell does SMG4 compete with that?
Popup: Moista Fiesta’s time manipulation could theoretically let Cell restart the fight and guide it towards an outcome where he wins. However, the mechanics of this ability are not clearly stated and has not prevented Cell from losing fights in the past such as when Jotaro defeated him with his own Stand Star Platinum.
Wiz: Well SMG4 hasn’t shown that level of power, though he is capable of exceeding it. Remember that SMG4 has regularly fought Mario to a stalemate and is capable of any physical feat he did. This includes the time incapacitated Eggman with an… uhh… involentary reflex.
Boomstick: Eggman isn’t the strongest guy in the SMG4 universe, but he was tough enough to take his universe collapsing and shrugged off the pain like it never happened. If Mario knocked him out then he, and by extension SMG4, can punch with the energy of an entire universe.
Wiz: There are plenty of other examples to suggest SMG4 and Mario possess this seemingly impossible level of power. For example, Mario was able to deflect an attack from Melony who in a weaker state one-shot SMG0 who in HIS weaker state tanked and overpowered the blasts of four Guardian Pods.
Popup: Meggy has consistently blocked direct swings from Melony’s sword. Mario has regularly fought on par with her and Luke Lerdwhichagul considers SMG4 to be at a similar level of power.
Boomstick: A blast from just one of those USBs can fill a universe with memes so that's like having four universes crash into you at once and SMG0 was stronger than that. Don’t forget SMG4 also survived fighting the stronger version of that world-ending whackjob, so Cell being able to wipe out galaxies didn’t really mean sh*t.
Popup: Despite existing within a Super Mario 64 emulator, the SMG4 universe is shown to contain countless stars and galaxies and should be comparable to the size of our own universe.
Wiz: The difference between destroying galaxies and universes is a lot bigger than you think. A single universe is estimated to contain 200 billion galaxies and potentially many more. Simply put, SMG4’s potential strength and durability meant he far exceeded Cell at his peak potential.
Boomstick: That didn’t mean Cell was out of options. His Infinity Gauntlet could alter the entire universe and turn SMG4 to dust with just a snap. The only reason Cell couldn’t instant-win with that was because the Mario recolor was just too tough to kill.
Wiz: SMG4’s regeneration has restored lost limbs, brought him back from a skeletal state, and most notably he was reduced to ash and completely vaporized, yet the damage was undone almost instantly. Even being erased from existence couldn’t keep him down for good as he could make himself re-exist using his own smartphone.
Boomstick: Which of course ruled out the option of killing SMG4 with existence-erasing shotgun, as awesome of a weapon as it was. Cell’s healing factor was insanely broken too, but unlike SMG4 who can come back from nothing he needed some part of him still intact in order to regenerate himself. And considering how much explosives SMG4 keeps on hand, there’s no doubt that he would land an attack big enough to destroy Cell’s whole body.
Popup: It could be argued that the DevilArtemis universe is the same size as the canonical Dragon Ball universe which is roughly 9 times larger than our own universe. In that case, Cell surviving Zeno destroying all of it would make him significantly more durable than SMG4, albeit the latter’s superior regenerative abilities would still compensate for this.
Wiz: Plus if Cell was able to somehow overpower SMG4’s regeneration, the Meme Guardian had access to cheats that granted infinite lives and stamina making him virtually unkillable.
Boomstick: Just like an internet meme. Right when you think it dies, it always comes back to trend once again.
Popup: While the Infinity Gauntlet can disable internal powers, the cheat list is an external force existing outside of reality meaning it’s unlikely that Cell can affect it. Even if the gauntlet could influence it, Cell was able to undo its effects through plot manipulation, an ability that SMG4 also possess.
Wiz: Don’t get us wrong, both SMG4 and Perfect Cell are incredible characters who have shown mind-boggling feats and triumphed over impossible obstacles. There really isn't anything that they couldn’t accomplish, but when it came to a no holds barred brutal beatdown, SMG4 had the power, speed, and reality-breaking abilities to send this perfect parody back to the depths of hell.
Boomstick: So long Perfect Cell, you will be “DevilArtemis”-sed. Hopefully your angelic voice will “S”ing “M”ightily with “G”od “4”-ever.
Wiz: The winner is SMG4.
Soundtrack Cover[]
Special Thanks to Bunny Cat4 and Ethaneyu 183 for Soundtrack Covers
Special Thanks[]
Specail thanks to everyone who agreed to participate and/or contribute their own battle to this fight! Be sure to check out their fights too!
Fight Cameos:
- Shrek vs Eric Cartman by GoCommitDi
- Heihachi Mishima vs Geese Howard by SoMaShadow
- Infinite vs Sinestro by Cider621
- Leonardo vs Sonic by SpeedyHedgehog91
- Yoel Jun vs Cody Nutkiss by Sharkboy305
- Starfy vs. SpongeBob SquarePants by ThunderStar20
- Trigon vs. Unicron by RohgeKiller
- Valvatorez vs Akira Kurusu by Cipher013
- Bad Piggy vs Goomba by Hatty With a hat
- Sans Vs Sheldon Cooper by TheDerpyPotato
User Cameos
- Bunny Cat4
- Y3p owo
- SpeedyHedgehog91
- TheGreatDimentio!
- Sharaku Jr.
- Cider621
- GoCommitDi
- MinecraftFan300
- RohgeKiller
- TheGinyuF0rce5
- Cipher013
- Kirbysakurai
- Omniversia999
- Hatty With a hat
- BeautifulDuwanged
- FNAFpro52
- PowerfulEevee
- Ethaneyu 183
- Vrokorta
Next Time[]
Season 4 is Happening! And the next Death Battle is:
Zero: This will be over in a nanosecond.
Meta Knight: This darkness must meet by sword!
Season 4 Premiere: Zero vs Meta Knight!