SMG4 Mario Vs ShockHat Kirby is a fanmade Death Battle by TherealHyperA2 because he got bored writing Bowser Vs Eggman. Thumbnail by Bcgfhjbvhcftdfgyhbj. The second one was made by Bunny Cat4.
Description[]
SMG4 Vs ShockHat! Which of these hilarious internet parody characters with criminal histories almost as large as their appetite will win? That’s my job to find out!
Introduction[]
Boomstick: Stupid Mario, the meme induced spaghetti worshipping idiot from SMG4!
Wiz: And Kirby, the furby shaped asshole of the ShockHat videos!
Boomstick: Who doesn’t love a parody? I certainly do!
Wiz: Then you’ll love these video game parodies in bizarre YouTube worlds!
Boomstick: He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick!
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Stupid Mario[]
Wiz: Mario 64 is about as iconic and influential as games get, partially due to its titular character!
Boomstick: But in the universe of SMG4, things are a bit different.
Wiz: Mario was once like he’s normally seen, a happy go lucky hero with only good intent.
Boomstick: But that all change when a giant USB drive fell from the sky! Do the kids even know what those are anymore?
Wiz: Being a hero, Mario came to investigate this strange happening. Out of it, came the Super Meme Guardian 4 himself! But that’s not all that happened.
Boomstick: Mario and the entire world was hit with powerful electric energy, making its inhabitants incredibly stupid and meme like! After a while of running around half way fixing the mess they made, the newly stupid Mario became friends with SMG4 and all sorts of quirky characters!
Wiz: Athough everyone was affected to different degrees, people like Tari are almost normal, Mario was the most affected by this. While his intelligence went down to the negative digits, he got a significant power boost!
Boomstick: He can tank and cause building level explosions, dodge bullets, and tank hits from his powerful friends!
Wiz: And that’s just at his bare minimum!
Boomstick: His higher level feats include backwards long jumping around the planet two times in a few seconds and consistently blowing up the goddamn planet!
Note: While Mario can be argued to higher levels like galaxy or even universal, these feats are very inconsistent so we went for his most consistent best.
Wiz: But he’s more than just strength and speed. Mario has an incredible amount of weapons and abilities!
Mario’s Weapons[]
- Guns
- Hammer
- Rocket Launcher
- Bomb Ombs
- Waluigi Launcher
- Giant Mech
- Mario Kart
- Power Ups
- Anything he can think of
Boomstick: Now for my favorite part, the weapons! He’s got an assortment of guns, a huge hammer, and can blow his enemies to kingdom come with Bomb Ombs and Rocket Launchers! Of course we can’t forget the Waluigi Launcher, where he picks up one of his “friends” and throws them as a projectile with infinite range that won’t stop bouncing until it hits someone!
Wiz: He has an assortment of power ups like Fire Flowers which allows him to shoot fireballs, the Cat Bell which turns him into the cat form, and even more!
Boomstick: On the more mechanical side, he can get around quick with his Kart and has a huge mech with a ton of added features known as the Octobot King!
Wiz: These features include playing Baby Shark at such high volume that his opponents are forced to cover their ears, hitting people with giant fists, or firing a laser!
Boomstick: Of course, Mario has more abilities than just his weapons! He can regenerate from being turned to ash, turn Super Saiyan, and break the 4th wall-wait no!
CRASH!
Mario: Hey stinky!
Boomstick: Ah dammit.
Wiz: What are you doing here?
Mario: Well Mario was having private time with his spaghetti, but I heard you were doing an episode about me!
Wiz: Do you want to join us?
Mario: Sure! Hand me that script!
He starts flipping through the script
Mario: H U H ? ! This is all wrong! It’s talking about my supposed “low IQ”! I bet I could write something way better!
Wiz: Oh really? Do you know anything about the other combatant?
Mario: Of course I do!
Wiz: Ok. What color is Kirby?
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…
Boomstick: DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP HES SO ANNOYING!
Wiz: MARIO! We, uh, left some spaghetti in a place called Dream Land! You should go there right now!
DING!
Mario stomps thinking (something he’s very good at) and backwards long jumps out of the planet, leaving a hole in the wall.
Boomstick: Anyways, let’s get back to the abilities!
Wiz: Right. Mario can pull objects out of anywhere, clone himself, and even drive people insane with his naked body!
Boomstick: Probably because he doesn’t have any form of reproductive organs. He’s like a Ken doll!
Wiz: Contrary to what you may think, he’s a pretty great and experienced fighter! He was able to keep up in a 10 minute battle with Steve, won a battle royale against all his friends, and even took down godlike opponents with the help of his friends!
Boomstick: But he’s not perfect. Starting with the most obvious thing, Mario is really stupid. Like astronomically stupid. This man is so unquantifiably stupid that he regularly takes toaster baths!
Wiz: He’s also quite cowardly despite being strong enough to win most fights. And one of his worst weaknesses his is complete obsession with spaghetti!
Boomstick: But despite his extreme stupidity, he’s actually pretty sweet when it comes to his friends. And if you get in the way of them, he’s going to kill you…and then kill you again!
Ending quote
Mario: Mario’s about to do something very illegal!
Kirby[]
Boomstick: Y’know, I would start this off by describing the original Kirby world, but we already did that last time.
Wiz: In the ShockHat version of Dream Land, everyone is a lot crazier. It’s inhabitants include the insane scammer Magolor, the shopkeeper that is always annoyed by Kirby Halcandra Dee, the living punching bag Effilin, and way more!
Boomstick: But the star of the show is KIRBY KIRBY KIRBY!
The Bio of a Kirbo[]
- Smol orb
- More than you think…
- And maximum pink!
- Survived Magoland
- Likes to C O N S U M E !
Wiz: As apposed to his game counterparts, Kirby is a jerk. He’s egotistical, harms or annoys people for his own gain, and will do pretty much anything for food. Just like Boomstick.
Boomstick: And I wear that description like a badge of honor! Anyways, Kirby’s gotta be strong to face off against the many odd threats he faces.
Wiz: That’s right, Boomstick! The pink puffball is strong enough to survive and create city level explosions!
Boomstick: But he can go up a notch in power by scaling to DeDeDe, who split the planet in half. And if that’s not enough for you, he can defeat Dark Matter which covered the entirety of Ripple Star!
Wiz: But where Kirby really shines is in his abilities and weapons! Starting off with his most iconic, there’s the copy abilities.
Boomstick: This is the ability to gain the powers of an enemy or attack by eating/inhaling it! For example, by eating fire or spicy food he becomes Fire Kirby, or by eating bombs he becomes Crash Kirby which is basically a living nuke!
Wiz: Some of these simply give him weapons like Sword or Hammer, or give him full powers!
Boomstick: These include being able to burrow at high speeds as Drill Kirby, turn into a wheel for high speed action as Wheel Kirby, or freeze enemies and water as Ice Kirby!
Wiz: Keeping up with his theme of eating, he can inhale large objects and spit them out at high speeds. He can even eat a car to become Carby! He also has a bunch of random abilities, like being able to explode Haltmans mechs by touching them or being able to delete an enemy cloud from reality by saying “the clouds aren’t out today”.
Boomstick: He can pull out guns and grenades, defeat large amounts of enemies, and survived a torture room of mini games!
Wiz: But these weapons pale in comparison to Kirby’s Warp Star! This Star shaped cruiser can fly through the solar system in a matter of seconds!
Boomstick: Too bad all this power was put into one of the worst possible people that could’ve gotten it! Kirby is straight up a huge asshole, bordering on sociopathy!
Wiz: While not an idiot, he’s prone to making stupid and impulsive decisions like falling into obvious traps.
Boomstick: Plus the copy abilities are prone to being lost after a good hit.
Wiz: But still, if you challenge Kirby’s food, you’re picking a fight with Dream Lands greatest…hero?
Ending quote
Kirby: I am going to CONSUME this delicious block of ice!
Fight[]
Dream Land was a beautiful place. The hills were lush and beautiful, the sky was blue, and a flock of Heavy Weapons Guys were majestically T posing in the sky. But a new occurrence in this world was a red wearing, cross eyed idiot named Mario.
Mario was walking along, seemingly enjoying the scenery around him and humming a happy song. However, a convenient picnic table with a beautiful plate of spaghetti caught the plumber(?)s attention.
Mario: Awhaaaaa?!
He pounced onto a table like a rabid dog and dug into the spaghetti. It’s unclear exactly what he was doing with it, but whatever it was there was enough marinara sauce everywhere to look like a horror movie.
Meanwhile across the street, there was a store. From the outside, you could hear screaming and gunshots until suddenly…
CRASH!
Kirby was thrown out of the window.
Halcandra Dee: And stay out!
The puffball rubbed his head and groaned. As he got up, he heard his stomach rumble.
Kirby: Oh man I’m hungry! If only there was an incredibly convenient food item around here somewhere.
He looked over and saw Mario eating his spaghetti.
Kirby: CONSUME.
He opens his mouth and a gust of wind sucks the spaghetti into his mouth. After a satisfied burp, he turned around. However, the dark silhouette of an enraged Mario with a baseball bat appeared behind him.
Kirby: He’s right behind me, isn’t he?
Mario: Mario’s about to do something very illegal!
FIGHT!
Mario swung the bat at Kirby, who dodged. He avoided a few more swings, but was eventually hit by one that sent him flying into a set of bowling pins.
STRIKE!
The puffball jumped out of the pins and landed with a kick that sent the bat out of Mario’s hand. The plumber threw two punches and a kick, which Kirby took head on before uppercutting him. Mario flew up into the air before landing flat on his face.
Mario: You may be able to punch good, but can you take the magic? American magic.
He pulls out a gun and points it at Kirby, who pulls one out for use as well.
They began running backwards as they shot, making sure not to get hit themselves. They hopped behind cover and opened fire. Before they knew it, they were at their last bullet. Kirby lined up his last shot for Mario’s head, but the Italian shot the gun out of his hands.
Kirby: Dammit! What am I gonna use now?
Just to his luck, a fire enemy walked towards him.
Firey McNPC: Hello sir! Have you seen my child-
Before he could finish, Kirby opened his mouth and ate them, becoming Fire Kirby.
Mario: I’m in danger!
The puffball shot a huge blast of fire, disintegrating the garbage can he was hiding behind.
Thinking fast, Mario pulled out a fire flower and used it to shoot fireballs. Kirby shot himself forward in a firey charge, which blasted through the fireballs and hit Mario in the stomach.
The Italian, now back to normal, pulled out his hammer and hit Kirby away, turning him back to normal as well.
Results[]
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