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Rinku vs Goemon
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Season 3, Episode 9
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Air date August 30th, 2015
Written by Ahomeschoolingroudon
Directed by Ahomeschoolingroudon
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Rinku vs Goemon is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle!


Yu Yu Hakusho vs The Legend of the Mystical Ninja. Two foes who use Yo-Yos as weapons duke it out, can Rinku send Goemon around the world? Or will Goemon catch Rinku?


Wiz: Fighters have brought in all kinds of weapons

Boomstick: Swords, huge ass swords, guns, huge ass guns.

Wiz: But today, we bring in two foes who wield the most unlikely of weapons, the Yo-Yo

Boomstick: Wait, what!?

Wiz: Rinku, the Little Mighty Foe

Boomstick: *Groaning* And Goemon, The Mystical Ninja, he's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!


Wiz: The Dark Tournament, keep in the Hanging Neck Island, is a martial arts tournament. In which sixteen teams of five fighters each duke it out in a, well tournament.

Boomstick: There’s a variety of foes, but. One of the most unlikely, is the demon. Rinku

Wiz: He is a member of Team Rokuyukai, a group of six demon fighters. They are lower-class demons trying to make a name for themselves

Boomstick: Such is the case with Rinku, he was a low-class at first. But, once their team lost to Team Urameshi, he ended up training with Genkai. And became a Lower S-Class.

Wiz: You see, an S-Class is the most powerful class in the Yu Yu Hakusho-verse. Housing the likes of Raizen, Yusuke Urameshi, etc. they have been known to have extraordinary power. Which could possibly devastate the Earth.

Boomstick: Well holy shit, but let’s get to the fun part. Rinku’s abilities, I bet he can breath fire or something badass like a demon should.

Wiz: Nope, instead he wields. A Yo-Yo.

Boomstick: ..potential lost.

Wiz: Well, not just any Yo-Yo. The Serpant Yo-Yos

Boomstick: Who gives a shit, they’re Yo-Yos. Toys

Wiz: They aren’t toys damn it! They respond to Rinku’s demon energy, he can manipulate the strings at his will. So he can make it home in on his foes

Boomstick: What is this, the Yo-Yo version of Darkseid’s omega beams?

Wiz: You can say that. But, Rinku’s Serpant Yo-Yos are pretty destructive, being able to impale through solid stone with ease. And can poison or electrocute foes

Boomstick: ..well. Never mind, especially because he has 16 of them!

Wiz: Rinku can use tactics like Walking the Dog, which rides the Yo-Yos through the ground and rams into the opponent. Or wrap the Yo-Yos around his opponent and slam them into the ground with Around the World.

Boomstick: Rinku fights like a trickster, as he usually pretends to be weaker than he actually is and once the foe seemingly owns, or shall I say reks him. He shows his full strength

Wiz: And Rinku is extremely fast and agile to boot. He can even summon a giant serpent which crushes foes.

Boomstick: Rinku despite being a seemingly innocent child. He’s pretty damn powerful, as he has helped protect Keiko and Yusuke from several demons, trained other foes. And has even beaten Kazuma Kuwabara, despite cheating to do so.

Wiz: But, while Rinku is a child-like demon he also acts like one as he is cocky and immature. And he has lost before by being seduced.

Boomstick: But, unless this is the Yaoi Tournament that’s not gonna come into play. But, Rinku proves that it’s not the size that matters it’s how you use it..heh.

Rinku: Wanna try?


Wiz: Edo, Japan. Whilst it was the former name of Tokyo, it lied a hero in the making. And his name was, Goemon.

Boomstick: Looks like somebody’s joining Gaara in Green Day.

Wiz: Well, given the time period this is before Gree-

Boomstick: Shut up, Wizard just roll with it

Wiz: the village Edo, 2 ninjas Goemon and Ebisumaru discover about strange occurances happening near the Horo Temple.

Boomstick: Why? Because the medieval version of Paranormal Activity, probably would’ve been better than the actual series.

Wiz: Essentially, a female ghost who lives there was the one who caused the paranormal activity. And once other occurances began popping up, it was the start to Goemon’s Adventure

Boomstick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it, besides what are these “occurrences” anyway. Seems like basic Ex-Wife problems to me-

Picture of Otafu appears

Boomstick: ..what the fuck is that!? I swear that is my Ex..which would explain a few things

Wiz: You don’t want to know, Boomstick. You don’t want to know

Boomstick: Yeah uh, no. I really don’t want to know.

Wiz: But, trust me it gets weirder. Once we get to Goemon’s arsenal. He wields the Smoking Pipes

Boomstick: Oh, I get it. So he forcibly makes the foe smoke tobacco and make them die of an overdose. Perfect Anti-Drug PSA

Wiz:, that’s not it at all.

Boomstick: Oh come on! They make this creative arsenal yet don’t do anything creative with it? Bullshit.

Wiz: Yeah, basically he beats the shit out of people with them. And reflects projectiles in the process

Boomstick: for me. He can also upgrade it to a Golden Pipe, which is stronger and has better range.

Wiz: And he also has the Chain Pipe, which is used to hit far off targets. Which can also just so happen to catch on fire once thrown. And he can even throw his currency of coins as a weapon

Boomstick: And, then we get to his Yo-Yo. The Spiked Yo-Yo, yes. A Yo-Yo, with spikes. This is a real thing.

Wiz: Well, it being like “real” real is pre-

Boomstick: Shut up Wiz! You and your know at all bullshit..

Wiz: *Groans* as Goemon is a ninja, he is decent at stealth and agility. And can perform techniques such as the..worm crawl..

Boomstick: Goemon’s been able to take on the likes of ghosts, an entire herd of pirates, a dragon, a giant piloted samurai. And other bizarre as fuck foes single-handedly

Wiz: However, with all of this comes consequences. His stash of coins can run out, he can lose his upgrades with enough damage.  And he doesn’t have the greatest durability in general.

Boomstick: And he still doesn’t do the perfect Anti-Drug PS-

Wiz: We are NOT bringing that up again, besides even then who cares. As Goemon is perfectly capable of taking out any foe of any size

Boomstick: Heh. Good one.

Wiz: Uhn..

Goemon: This is 100% Grade A trouble!

Death Battle![]

Dark Tournament


“Ladies and gentlemen!” was heard, as a bird-view shot of the Dark Tournament, was shown. The view slowly began zooming in closer, until there was a clear view of the stadium. As stood the announcer, Koto.

“It’s time we bring out our final match for the day” Koto stated, as she saw that Team Rokuyukai was already prepared for this match, then turned to the right. And saw that only one fighter was gonna be in this. Koto then raised her eyebrow

“Well, uh. It seems we have a unique fight on our hands, as only one foe is gonna be in this match!” Koto confusingly said, all the demons likewise looked in confusion. Then, one of the members of Team Rokuyukai, Rinku jumped in and glanced at the cloaked fighter.

“Hah! Look at ‘em, didn’t even bring a comrade with cause he knew he was gonna die!” Rinku taunted, as the cloaked fighter stepped into the ring. Rinku then turned to the cloaked fighter, then back to Zeru.

“Don’t even send anybody else to fight this idiot, he’s mine!” Rinku said, Zeru shrugged and sent Rinku into the ring. Rinku then crossed his arms and walked to his side of the ring.

The cloaked figure then grabbed it’s cloak, and tossed it aside. Revealing himself to be Goemon. “Well, now it’s play time.” Rinku said, giggling. Goemon raised his fists up and said “Bring it on.” Koto then stepped back “Demons and readers alike, Rinku vs Goemon begin!” she said as she readied the fight


Goemon stepped back and got out his pipe, as lightning struck in the background. Rinku then jumped forward and faked-out Goemon before jumping back. Goemon slammed his Pipe on the ground when he swung at Rinku

Rinku then ran behind Goemon and kicked him in the head. Goemon then jumped back, as Rinku kept speeding around the battlefield, “Can you catch me?” he asked tauntingly before backflipping over Goemon

Goemon swung his Pipe at Rinku but the Pipe just didn’t have enough range and it swooped in front of Rinku, to which Rinku laughed and jumped on Goemon before zipping around the arena giggling.

“Darn it..” Goemon muttered, as he began getting furious. “No more running away!” Goemon shouted as he dashed at Rinku, now locating him by his trail. Goemon then whacked him with the Pipe.

Rinku was sent a few meters back, as Goemon ran at him, Rinku then got up and scowled before also dashing at Goemon, Goemon whacked Rinku over the head with his Pipe and whacked him upwards in the head.

Rinku’s beanie dropped from his head before he fell back onto the ground arena, Rinku then slowly got back up. “Well, this answered your question, didn’t it?” Goemon asked. To which Rinku didn’t reply.

Instead Rinku tried to uppercut Goemon, but he got out a small cat-like figure and upgraded his Pipe, turning it to the Golden Pipe. Goemon then bashed Rinku with the Golden Pipe in the chest.

“You are done for!” Goemon shrieked as he dashed at Rinku, Golden Pipe raised in the air. Goemon swung downward, but Rinku zipped behind Goemon with a grin on his face.

“Didn’t take me long with those attacks of yours!” Goemon responded, as he kicked Goemon in the head, nearly snapping Goemon’s neck. Goemon fell to the ground, to which Rinku just laughed and lightly dropped to the ground opposite of Goemon.

Rinku’s eyes began turning to a shade of red, as he flexed his hands out, revealing 8 Yo-Yos, as demon energy appeared around them. Goemon then got up from the hit and quickly saw the Yo-Yos


Goemon quickly upgraded his Golden Pipe to the Chain Pipe, and stood back. Rinku then jumped up into the air and swung the Yo-Yos at Goemon saying “Short toss!” Goemon then jumped out of the way.

“Hah! I’m a ninja you know, I can dodge that no problem” Goemon said, he’d be eating his words however as the strings of the Serpent Yo-Yos rebounded from near the ground and homed in straight at Goemon

Goemon was unaware of this as he was turned away from the Yo-Yos, but was hit in the back. Goemon let out a grunt before he got electrocuted from the hit and fell forward. Rinku then giggled again and the Yo-Yos came back to him.

“Don’t think you can avoid my Yo-Yos idiot!” Rinku taunted, as he began laughing. Goemon however, sent the Chain Pipe at Rinku, which hit him in the gut. Rinku let out a shriek and was thrown back, slightly burned from the hit

Rinku backed up and summoned the Giant Serpent, which crashed near Goemon, as he just got out of the way. The Giant Serpent swung it’s tail at Goemon, but he jumped over.

Goemon then slammed the Chain Pipe into The Giant Serpant’s chest, then it made it catch fire from the inside. And the Giant Serpant fell to the ground, laying their lifeless as Goemon grabbed the cat-like statue that came from it’s dead body.

Goemon then got the Spiked Yo-Yo and tossed it at Rinku “Oh look a copycat.” Rinku mused as he tossed his 8 Yo-Yos at Goemon. Goemon managed to jump back and fired coins at Rinku

Rinku quickly avoided them, and slammed Goemon to the ground before riding the Serpant Yo-Yos on the ground “This is my take on Walking the Dog!” Rinku said, as he began snickering

Goemon got rammed by the Yo-Yos, as Rinku got out his 8 other Yo-Yos, making it 16. Goemon tossed his Spiked Yo-Yo a second time. But Rinku tossed all 16 of his Yo-Yos at the Spiked Yo-Yo

The Spiked Yo-Yo was hit, and while it deflected the Serpant Yo-Yos at Rinku, Goemon lost his upgrade. And Rinku simply manipulated the strings back to normal “Well, looks like this is an easy win!” Rinku mused as he hit Goemon with the Serpant Yo-Yos once again

This time, Goemon got inflicted with poison and dropped to his knees, “I won’t give in..!” Goemon strugglingly said, to which Rinku giggled. “Guess I’ll just have to kill ya’” Rinku said as he wrapped Goemon in his Yo-Yo Strings.

Rinku’s eyes turned back to a shade of red, as he began lifting Goemon into the air whilst giggling. “This is my take on around the world!” Rinku stated, as Goemon used his last energy to scream.

Goemon was helpless, pinned down as Rinku began throwing him to the ground. “This is it people get ready for a boom!” Koto said before Goemon violently impacting the ground. His bones breaked, his teeth shattered, and his body became mangled. He had fallen.


Koto didn’t know how savage Rinku was, and flinched in fear. “Um, yeah. That one’s definitely over! Looks like the winner is Team Rokuyukai!” Koto said, trying to stabalize herself. And the demon crowd cheered while the human crowd looked on in horror.

Rinku then casually walked out of the ring and back with his team, and turned to Zeru grinning. “How’s that, Zeru?” Rinku asked, Zeru then stated calmly. “You did good, Rinku. Very good” Zeru responded.


Boomstick: Well, looks like it wasn’t any foe of any siz-

Wiz: Rinku and Goemon were on pretty equal terms, Rinku had the edge in speed and agility, while Goemon had the edge in variety and experience

Boomstick: But unfortunately for our favorite Yo-Yo wielding Ninja, Rinku’s string manipulation with the Serpant Yo-Yos and with that agility. He ultimately came out on top

Wiz: Remember, Rinku is a Lower S-Class, while it isn’t like other S-Classes, it still has very powerful destructive capacity. In which Goemon never had to face.

Boomstick: Not to mention Rinku was perfectly capable of dodging all of Goemon’s attacks, or he could just play him into his hands.

Wiz: While Goemon COULD bring out his Mecha, he never had to fight against anybody as small as Rinku with it. And his agility would still come into play. So, Goemon’s mecha would be useless even if we did include it

Boomstick: Rinku just wasn’t throwing his game in the end.

Wiz: The winner, is Rinku

Next Time! (Ahomeschoolingroudon)[]

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