| The Smartest Man, The Strongest Man, And The Impending Chaos | |
|---|---|
| Season | 2 |
| Season Episode | 6 (Season Finale) |
| Air date | December 31, 2020 |
| Written by | Professor Mewtwo |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Master Hand vs Eternatus |
Next Deadpool vs Harley Quinn |
Rick Sanchez vs Axe Cop is a What-If? Death Battle created by Professor Mewtwo it features Rick Sanchez from the TV show Rick and Morty pitted against Axe Cop from the web comic of the same name.
Description[]
Rick and Morty vs Axe Cop! Throughout their unbelievable and unexplainable adventures, there was nothing that they couldn't accomplish, but now that these two are facing each other, one of them will reach their limit. Does Rick have invention he needs to win, or will Axe Cop have another head to throw in the head trash?
Poll[]
Got any roots or bets? Make sure to vote in the discussion poll!
Interlude[]
Wiz: Fiction, an imaginative world of infinite possibilities, yet the heroes who live there can only do so much.
Boomstick: Except for these two. They can do "anything" they want, and I really do mean "anything".
Wiz: Rick Sanchez, the universe hopping mad scientist from Dimension C-137.
Boomstick: And Axe Cop, the deadliest justice-enforcer ever created by a five-year old. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Rick Sanchez[]
Wiz: The Multiverse, a cluster of infinite worlds that spans all of existence, and each world is unique with qualities that let it stand out from the rest.
Boomstick: But no matter how different the worlds get, they all have one thing in common: a cranky-a** old man with a drinking problem named Rick Sanchez who is quite possibly the greatest scientist of all time.
Wiz: Hey!
Boomstick: Oh come on, you know it’s true. Besides he drinks and parties harder than any nerd that will ever live.
Wiz: Well, you're not entirely wrong. Almost every variation of Rick follows the same backstory. Born with unfathomably high intelligence, Rick quickly became the smartest person in the universe, and after being fed up with his dull life on Earth, he took off to the world beyond. In the span of 20 years, he explored countless dimensions, invented mind-blowing machines, and committed enough crimes to become the number 1 terrorist of a universe-spanning regime.
Boomstick: Naturally being the universe’s biggest threat meant that Rick was going to need a bit of backup, so he went back to Earth and found a new sidekick in his grandson Morty. I usually don’t recommend dragging socially-awkward teenagers on crazy adventures, but Morty really didn’t have a choice because let’s just say Rick rhymes with d*ck for a good reason.
Wiz: Ricks are alcoholic, narcissistic, homicidal, and just down-right stubborn. They will go to any means to get what they want, making them dangerous to provoke, and Rick Sanchez of Dimension C-137 is the “Rick-est” of them all, showing far more intelligence and spite than his fellow Ricks.
Boomstick: In case you haven’t figured it out, this is the Rick we’ll be using for the fight because he’s the best Rick.
Popup: The Rick and Morty comics feature different versions of Rick to avoid contradictions with the series’ continuity. While Rick C-137 has never used any equipment exclusive to the comics, he does scale to the other Ricks in terms of intellect.
Wiz: Like his interdimensional counterparts, Rick C-137 has encountered some of the weirdest and most dangerous things the universe has to offer, and has developed a large assortment of weapons to combat these threats. Even on the off chance that he encounters something he isn’t prepared for, Rick’s astonishing intelligence helps him invent the equipment he needs on the fly.
Boomstick: He’s basically Batman meets MacGyver, but in space. Of course, like all mad scientists Rick carries around a laser pistol as his main sidearm. With his fast-paced sharpshooting, he’ll burn a hole through any alien or monster before they can react. On the off chance the usual gun doesn't work, Rick also wields an electrical gun, an adhesive-shooting gun, a memory erasing gun, a potion that grows new arms holding more guns, and a sentient gun that protects his groin. That’s right Rick has prepared for your underhanded nutshot, and is ready to protect his manhood at all costs. Just try and get a kick in!
Wiz: Rick even has a bo staff, explosives, a sentient jacket, and boots that can stick to walls or allow him to fly. All this gear is impressive, but we’ve only scratched the surface of his incomprehensible arsenal.
Boomstick: And we haven’t even talked about Rick’s favorite invention, the not-Gabe-Newell-patented Portal Gun.
Wiz: The Portal Gun is what Rick and Morty use to travel across the multiverse. As the name implies, it creates portals that allow Rick to move from other parts of a city, distant planets, or other realities. There is virtually no place that the Portal Gun can’t reach, but it has other uses too. Allow me to demonstrate.
Wiz pulls out an exact replica of the Portal Gun.
Boomstick: I have a bad feeling about this…
Wiz: The Portal Gun can be used to retrieve valuable objects…
Wiz shoots the Portal Gun above Boomstick, causing a beer to fall as the latter catches it.
Boomstick: Yay! Free Beer!
Wiz: summons hazards like a doorway to the Blender Dimension…
Wiz grabs the beer out of Boomstick’s hand, opens another portal, and throws the beer in. The sounds of buzzsaws are heard as sparks and pieces of scrap metal come out.
Boomstick: Nooooo! Why you!
Wiz: And it can even do this.
Boomstick tries to punch Wiz, but the latter opens up two portals. Boomstick’s fist goes through one and comes out the other to punch himself in the face and daze him. Wiz then triumphantly spins the Portal Gun around in his hand.
Wiz: The Portal Gun can do all this with no confirmed drawbacks whatsoever.
While spinning the Portal Gun, Wiz accidently fires another portal where a familiar red and black superhero emerges halfway. Upon seeing the figure, Wiz and Boomstick panic.
Deadpool: It can even help you stay close to your bestest friends. :)
Boomstick: Oh god, not again! Wiz, do something!
Wiz: Uhhh… Well, did I mention that opening and closing a portal around an object can brutally bisect them?
Deadpool: Wait, what?
Wiz closes the portal, slicing Deadpool in half as the upper portion of his body dropped to the floor.
Deadpool: Oh yeah, that definitely bisected my heart. No worries, I’ll just lie down here for a few minutes, see you in the Axe Cop analysis.
Deadpool collapses.
Boomstick: So… should we do something about the blood getting on the carpet?
Wiz: Just ignore it for now. Ahem. To match his offense, Rick has force fields that can alter their size and shape for whether he needs a small shield or mobile orb to run around in.
Boomstick: Hell, being blocked by Rick may be better than landing a hit on him because can instantly kill anyone who touches him. No sound, no wound, no nothing, they just die instantly. Try using science to explain that one Wizard.
Wiz: It’s too vague to tell, but it doesn't make Rick invincible as some foes have still managed to get in close. Fortunately, Rick can still avoid them with other equipment such as teleporters, invisibility belts, a powerful energy pulse that repels anyone nearby, and if he feels like it Rick can counterattack by absorbing energy or converting enemy metals into his own personal robots.
Boomstick: He can do the same to the walls, then turn them into drones that can stab you. All these robots on hand make Rick Sanchez a one-man army, and that’s not including his holograms or Meeseeks boxes that summon a bootleg Blue Man Group to fight for him.
Wiz: But regardless of how much defensive equipment he has, Rick is still a mortal man who can succumb to death, though he does have plenty of compensation for it.
Boomstick: Like a gun that can repair his own wounds and a different gun that injects his DNA into others, makes a clone baby grow inside them until they explode, then transfers Rick’s mind to the rapidly-aging clone. I knew this show had to make an Alien reference at some point, but that… that’s just a whole nother level of weird.
Wiz: And as someone who dabbles in cybernetics, Rick carries mechanical arms to replace lost limbs and implements machines into his body to protect his internal organs almost like he’s wearing armor on the inside.
Boomstick: Speaking of armor, Rick has that too. In fact, he has multiple armors to work with. He’s got an anime armor complete with a bada** laser sword, a giant robot version of himself, but the best one of them all is the purge-style armor. With machine guns, rocket launchers, rocket boots, electric blasts, and a flamethrower this armor is ideal for any bloodthirsty rampage. I definitely need one of those next time I go hunting.
Wiz: But if extra protection is necessary, Rick can even retreat to the safety of his Space Cruiser which is appropriately U.F.O shaped.
Boomstick: Gotta love those sci-fi jokes.
Wiz: Thanks to a Dark-matter fuel source, the Space Cruiser can travel to distant planets in a brief amount of time. It’s also equipped with multiple laser-based weaponry, an energy pulse, chemical gases, claws, and a Neutrino Bomb that Rick claims is powerful enough to wipe out all life on a planet.
Boomstick: And because Mr. Smartest-Man-In-The-Universe made the Space Cruiser, it’s smart too. It took less than a minute for it to befriend a race of super spiders and bring world peace to an alternate Earth. Let’s face it, there isn’t a single problem that Rick inventions can’t solve.
Wiz: Yet we haven’t covered the more brutal weaponry either, like the taser that freezes people inside and out, the particle beam on his wristwatch, orbs that can steal DNA and reduce them to slime, and his most dangerous weapon: Crystallized Xanthenite.
Boomstick: You know that pink crystal Rick stuck in the VCR to make Interdimensional Cable, well that thing isn’t just for making Super Netflixes, it's a frickin reality-breaker that fits in the palm of your hand.
Wiz: That’s actually pretty accurate.
Boomstick: See Wiz, I can understand science too.
Wiz: On its own, Crystallized Xanthenite transmits particles across different timelines perfect for helping Rick shoot targets in other dimensions, but it’s most valuable ability is that it can freeze time on specific individuals or the entire world. Of course, overusing its time freezing abilities does have a high-risk of dimension-destroying paradoxes, but none of it matters to Rick.
Boomstick: I’m actually surprised Rick has this considering he’s isn’t a big fan of screwing with time. Then again, he does have a time-travel watch because when you're a mad scientist you have to break every law of physics out there.
Wiz: Considering what he’s accomplished, Rick has clearly surpassed everything science was thought capable of and then some. He’s created a universe inside a car battery, reprogrammed a mind reading machine with his thoughts, and single-handedly killed a world destroying monster while heavily drunk. Rick’s intellect is so advanced that he became aware of the fourth-wall itself, but unlike some more iconic and intolerable fourth-wall breakers, it’s more of an annoyance than a tool to Rick, though it does make for some pretty entertaining commercials.
Boomstick: Rick can somehow see invisible people, and devise a plan to outsmart a robot designed to outsmart his own plans. Then there was the time he turned himself into a pickle. I kid you not Wiz, he turned himself into a pickle and called himself Pickle Rick. Funniest sh*t I’ve ever seen.
Wiz: Did you really have to bring back that meme?
Boomstick: What meme? I just wanted to talk about the time he became an immobile pickle who made himself a cyborg body and proceeded to slaughter a government agency.
Wiz: Oh. Speaking of government slaughtering, Rick has a quite a history of doing just that. He was able to bring down the Galactic Government simply by making their currency useless, and killed the entire Council of Ricks, an organization of his own interdimensional counterparts.
Boomstick: And those Ricks aren’t necessarily dumber, heck some Ricks are smart enough to build universe destroying bombs. Plus, given his line of work, Rick is way more agile than the average geezer. He’s dealt with lightspeed lasers so many times that he can effortlessly avoid them.
Wiz: Rick is surprisingly resilient to pain too. He shrugged off being slammed through a stone floor, got shot in the liver and acted more annoyed than hurt, and after being torn apart by his former friend Phoenix Person, Ricks internal organs spilled out, yet somehow he was still conscious and moving around way more than he reasonably should.
Boomstick: Ok, there is being tough, and then there’s being way too godd*** stubborn. Is there anything out there that could possibly stop Rick Sanchez?
Wiz: Well, Rick doesn't really have any physical weaknesses given how his arsenal more than makes up for it, but his mental state is an absolute mess to say the least.
Boomstick: Mix years of loneliness, substance abuse, and… maybe, just maybe, a bit too much alcohol and you’ve got yourself one f****ed up old man. Sure getting some help might put him on the right track, but Rick’s tendency to push people aside for his own needs usually lands him in more trouble than he can handle.
Wiz: It might seem like Rick is completely heartless, and he might want others to believe that, but does know enough right from wrong to help the greater good, especially when it comes to his family. He has even put his own life on the line numerous times to save them, proving that there is still a part of him that wants to find the two things he couldn’t find in his multiverse-spanning adventures: peace and happiness.
Boomstick: Oh don’t bring up all that sappy bullsh*t, Rick will always be the thrill-seeking mad scientist that throws everything into chaos, and he won’t stop until he’s done everything the endless worlds have to offer. That’s just the way he rolls, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Rick: I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you're gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, Morty. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only friends we've got, Morty. It's just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. Morty's things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures.com. All 100 years. Every minute, rickandmorty.com.
Axe Cop[]
Wiz: Many years ago, there existed a General Planet where everyone was a general, but it was destroyed by the forces of Satan. However, a child of two axe generals survived and escaped to Earth Superman-style where he was adopted and given the name Axey Smartist by parents who ate nothing but candy canes.
Boomstick: If this is getting too weird for you already, then brace yourself because the Axe Cop universe only gets weirder the more you read into it.
Wiz: Axey lived a relatively normal childhood until one day he found his adoptive parents dead, presumably by eating too many candy canes. In truth, those candy canes were poisoned by a time traveling bad guy seeking revenge on the man Axey would become.
Boomstick: Kind of ironic for the bad guy since it was that very moment that set Axey on the path to destiny. After being double orphaned by bad guys, Axey Smartist dedicated his life to settling the score with all that is evil. He went to fighting school to train nonstop in the art of combat, joined the police force to fight some crime, and then he immediately left because the idea of doing nothing but shoot bad guys with guns was too boring for him. Come on man, you were living the dream right there!
Wiz: Axey didn’t want to kill bad guys the normal way, he wanted to kill them in a way that would keep other bad guys living in fear. Axey quickly found that way at the scene of a fire, where he found the perfect axe. On that day he became Axe Cop.
Boomstick: Considering that his birth parents were axe generals and his name was frickin Axey, I don’t think he was going to settle on any other name or weapon.
Wiz: After taking up his new name, Axe Cop assembled a team of crime fighters and began his mission to kill all bad guys in the universe alongside his brother Flute Cop, who later became Dinosaur Soldier, then Avocado Soldier, then Ghost Cop, then President Zombie Bear Cop, then Dragtrighostacops Rex-
Boomstick: Yeah, that guy can’t seem to stick with a name. Good thing Axe Cop doesn't have that same problem because as long as he’s a cop with an axe, he’s basically perfect. I mean, what bad guy wouldn’t be scared of having their head chopped off by a superhuman axe murderer, especially one with the Perfect Axe.
Popup: Axe Cop has shown additional feats and abilities in the TV show, but it’s story and character portrayal are inconsistent with the original source: the comics. Therefore, any information exclusive to the TV show will be omitted.
Wiz: This isn’t some sort of fancy title, Axe Cop’s axe is literally perfect in every way. It’s incredibly durable, laced with a magic-proof potion, and has a razor sharp edge which is perfect for decapitating the bad guys in one swing, but the Perfect Axe is a lot more versatile than you would expect.
Boomstick: The axe can transform into a guitar, skateboard, or a really heavy parachute just for kicks. It has built in goggles that can analyze a material’s makeup, a button that makes bad guys dance uncontrollably, and another button that spawns a thousand axe blades at once for extra decapitations. You would think that one axe is enough, but Axe Cop always keeps spare axes just in case the perfect one doesn't “cut” it. Get it? Because it’s an axe… they cut things.
Wiz: Some of these spare axes have unique abilities that not even the Perfect Axe can match. For example, the Axe Swinger 2008 doesn't kill victims immediately, but instead puts them to sleep and upon waking up they explode, and surprisingly Axe Cop has something stronger than the Perfect Axe: the Holy Golden Axe.
Boomstick: Created by God himself to kill Satan, the Holy Golden Axe is a weapon among weapons that can through anything. It doesn't matter if you're wearing Axe-proof armour or if you're a sand monster who can make axes go right through you, this axe triumphs over everything. But Axey doesn't just rely on axes, he enjoys using different poisons to slowly kill his bad guy including Poison Blow-Up juice that blows up the guys who drink it and all the other guys he shared it with. Axe Cop may be a hero, but he is also one messed up sadist.
Wiz: Axe Cop also carries around several explosives ranging from Faint Bombs filled with knockout gas to sticks of TNT powerful enough to destroy planets. He even has a weapon specifically for destroying planets through electrocution called the Planet Shocker. It may be a bit excessive for most people, but Axe Cop will use anything he can to take down the bad guy including his own clothes. With his glasses he can see invisible objects or detect bad guys, and his hat is equipped with heat rays, freeze rays, hypo rays, brain melt rays, and a grab & cut ray.
Boomstick: And despite leaving the normal police because their guns were “too boring”, Axe Cop still carries a handgun, if fact he carries a lot of guns. He’s got an extra destructive chainsaw gun, a blade shooting gun, a gun that makes people flop around like dying fish, and with the Magic Pencil Gun all Axe Cop has to do is shoot and it creates anything he wants. Of course, my personal favorite is the Stretching Shotgun that keeps extending itself until it has the target at point-blank range meaning he never has to worry about short range ever. I couldn’t even fix that problem by duct taping pipes to my own shotguns.
Wiz: Though out of all of Axe Cop’s firearms his Green Banana Gun and Sticky Dynamite Gun are the most efficient, and surprisingly he has a Laser-Portal Gun.
Boomstick: A “Laser”-Portal Gun? Does that mean it’s better than the other Portal Gun we talked about?
Wiz: Not necessarily, the Laser-Portal Gun is non-lethal on it’s own and has never been used to access other universes. However, it still allows Axe Cop to move freely within the universe he resides by traversing to anywhere in space or travelling through time, the latter of which seems to be used more often. Axe Cop can also hit people directly to transport them to dangerous locations like a dinosaur’s stomach for an instant death.
Boomstick: And to amp up those murders, Axe Cop has a weather controlling helmet, pepper spray that melts your face off, a magic wand that clones himself, and a giant robot suit with exploding and golden swords. Of course, no cop is complete without a sweet ride, but while Axe Cop has his own car and a frickin monster truck, his preferred mode of transportation is Wexter, a bad guy eating T-Rex with rocket wings, machine gun arms, and fire breath. To make this must-have beast more awesome, Wexter can even turn into a dragon that flies to other planets in a brief amount of time.
Wiz: And to think we haven’t covered the weapons that Axe Cop can turn into any weapon he desires. With this in mind, Axe Cop’s arsenal is practically indefinite only limited by his imagination and the same would be said for his superhuman abilities. There are several possible explanations for how Axe Cop gets his powers such as his axe general biology or a diet of wish-granting food, but the official source of his powers is-
Deadpool gets back up to interrupt Wiz. His legs are bare naked and there is a black bar censoring his crotch.
Deadpool: Something only a fourth-wall-ologist like myself can properly explain!
Boomstick: Sh*t! He’s back! And he’s not wearing pants!
Deadpool: Oh sorry, I must have left my pants behind when SOMEONE CLOSED A PORTAL ON ME!
Wiz: Umm… I’m sorry?
Deadpool: I accept your apology just like your mother accepted, now let’s get down to business. The Axe Cop comics are illustrated by Ethan Nicolle, but the writer is his five-year old brother Malachai Nicolle. So basically the wacked up world of Axe Cop runs on childhood wonder just like the Disney box office. It’s so wacked up in there that Axe Cop can break the fourth wall to contact the Malachai brothers and ask for new powers.
Boomstick: Bullsh*t! If a fictional character can tell his creators what powers he wants, he would be invincible.
Wiz: As much as I hate to admit it, Deadpool is right. Axe Cop has talked directly to his creators to add new powers such as flight and a robot that stores weapons in his mustache. It’s reasonable to assume that this is the source of all Axe Cop’s powers.
Deadpool: Right you are Wizard, and Boomi I think you were onto something. If you’ll excuse me…
Deadpool holds up some science thing that looks like a futuristic car battery.
Deadpool: I’m going to bring Stan Lee back from the dead and have him make me a god. See you all next season!
Deadpool leaves.
Wiz: Wait, is that from my lab? We need to stop him!
Boomstick: Wiz, he’s finally gone, let’s just leave it at that.
Wiz: Yeah, I guess you're right. Moving on, Axe Cop can heal the wounds of other people, hypnotize others with a button on his wrist, telekinetically snap people’s necks, and by removing his sunglasses Axe Cop somehow makes a ghost hand emerge from his mouth that steals people’s souls.
Boomstick: Which is more disturbing than spooky, but Axe Cop isn’t all about fancy tricks. He’s a master of axe-based fighting styles and studied karate until he became the only person to earn a tiger belt. His combat skill is so insane that he developed secret attacks without knowing it. Some of them are just Axe Cop showing off, but most of them can catch the bad guys by surprise like how his arm hairs are actually tiny swords that slice people and the Oldifyer technique where Axe Cop yells “Old” so loud that it makes everyone age rapidly until they die.
Wiz: Axe Cop even knows the forbidden move which creates a tornado strong enough to lift all of Shanghai, and if that’s somehow not powerful enough, Axe Cop can achieve greater forms by interacting with certain objects. Touching lobster blood gives Axe Cop antennas that sense danger, catching fire creates the pyrokinectically-proficient Axe Cop Fire, combining a bull potion with lava turns him into Axe Cop Lava Bull, and by eating a lemon Axe Cop transforms into Axe Cop… with Lemon.
Boomstick: Hey don’t underestimate a power that gives you free lemon grenades. It’s good to know that Axe Cop is carrying tools for every occasion. He even has robot legs in his neck to reattach himself whenever his head is chopped off in poetic justice, and as a bonus he carries a can of Red Bull. If those ads taught me anything it’s that one sip gives you the wings to solve all your problems.
Wiz: Not necessarily the case for Axe Cop. Instead it increases his speed to the point that he can run past a thousand bad guys without them seeing him and chop their heads off. Even if we lowball this as much as possible, Axe Cop is still moving over 176 times the speed of sound.
Boomstick: With all this power, it’s hard to imagine that anyone can even compete with Axe Cop. Sure, the bad guys kept trying, but they did fill up the head trash and Axey’s list of feats. He shrugged off an explosion and a city-leveling earthquake, threw a baby so hard that it destroyed a giant robot’s head, and once jumped from planet to planet using nothing but trampolines.
Wiz: His fight against evil is so relentless that he kills bad guys day and night with only a two-minute nap to compensate, and contrary to his straightforward approach, Axe Cop isn’t all about brute force. He is considered the smartest man on Earth, and can swing his axe with so much precision that he can chop you on a microscopic level. Even with that in mind, his raw power has pulled off more impressive feats like the time he lifted and threw the sun.
Boomstick: Oh come on, it’s a big ball of fire. Fire doesn't weigh anything does it?
Wiz: Actually the sun is composed of hydrogen and helium gases used to generate energy. The combined mass of these gases weighs almost 2 octillion tons, an equivalent to over 30,000 Earths.
Boomstick: D*mm this guy can lift. No wonder Chuck Norris got his a** kicked by him. Axe Cop is really freakin fast too, capable of blocking rainbow blasts from Rainbow Girl, and any elementary school teacher can tell you that rainbows are basically colorful beams of light. To be honest, this physique of his makes Axe Cop seem capable of protecting the whole world on his own.
Wiz: And he did by becoming the President of the World, a position with so much authority that he could command God himself to keep the world free of bad guys for a million years. Through many more ridiculous adventures, Axe Cop was able to avenge his home planet by killing Satan, reunite with his birth parents, and bring his adoptive parents back from the dead by fixing the timeline.
Boomstick: But Axe Cop isn’t as invincible as you would think he is. He’s pretty godd*mm stubborn insisting on his own superiority and tends to rush into fights he can’t win. Also weird superhuman abilities come with weird superhuman weaknesses. On the off chance that Axe Cop is surprised his body will melt into a puddle, and he’s deathly allergic to cherry-flavored candy canes.
Wiz: Kind of weird that Axe Cop never died since his adoptive family only fed him candy canes, but at this point it’s best not question anything. It’s all part of the strange, incomprehensible world Axe Cop lives in, and while his fight against the bad guys may be a never-ending endeavor as long as there is a head that needs to be chopped off, Axe Cop will gladly do what he does best.
Boomstick: Gruesomely murdering the bad guys, and looking bada** while doing it.
Hasta Mia: I can do whatever I want, and I want to destroy the universe!
Hasta Mia smacks aside a spaceship with Axe Cop inside and proceeds to destroy countless planets.
Lobster Man: My real sister is destroying the universe.
Axe Cop: Water Queen, give me a handle!
Water Queen makes a handle around the spaceship, making it look like an axe.
Axe Cop: Nobody can do whatever they want except me, and I want TO CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!
Axe Cop activates the thrusters, causing the spaceship to ram through Hasta Mia’s neck and decapitate her, thus saving the universe.
DEATH BATTLE![]
Somewhere in a galaxy far, far away, but not so far away that it causes copyright infringements there is a planet named Smorbo. It is filled with aliens of all shapes and sizes living in cities resembling that of Earth, but more colorful and futuristic. In one particular city, two humans are casually walking around. One of the humans is a teenage boy with short brown hair wearing a plain yellow shirt. His name is Morty Smith. The other human was his grandfather, a man wearing brown pants, a light-blue shirt that matched his spiky hair and unibrow, and a long white lab coat that identified him as a scientist. His name is Rick Sanchez, and he was the smartest man in the universe. The two were currently wandering through town to get to Rick’s Space Cruiser so they could fly home.
Morty: Jeez Rick, that was some crazy adventure we had huh?
Rick: Huh? Oh... yeah, sure, whatever.
Morty: Rick, are you ok? You seem more unsure than usual.
Rick: And you seem more (*burps*) annoying than usual, but I’m not going to make that an excuse to peer into your personal life.
Rick admitted to himself that his retort was a bit harsh, then again most of them were, but he couldn’t help it when something seemed terribly wrong. Rick was pretty sure that he and Morty had just finished another classic Rick and Morty adventure, but for some reason he couldn’t remember it. All he could remember is that they were on an alien planet somewhere in the universe, and that his car was parked somewhere. It was almost like there was no adventure, as if some outside force had set up this scenario and implanted false memories into him, but didn’t bother with the details because he was planning more important.
Rick: Morty, exactly how much of our adventure do you remember?
Morty: Well.. uhh… we arrived at Smorbo, then we uhh-
???: Hold it right there!
The duo turned around and saw someone who stood out, especially on an alien planet full of weird things. It was a tall, muscular man in a standard blue police uniform complete with badge and tie. His face even resembled the standard cop having a thick mustache, a hat with a star on it, and dark glasses that covered up his eyes. The only thing that separated him from all the normal cops was the red-colored fireman axe in his right hand. Even if you didn’t know his name, you would still call him by it because it fit him so perfectly: Axe Cop. He wasn’t sure how he got to planet Smorbo, nor was he sure how he knew about all the crimes Rick committed in space, but the latter made his hero instincts kick in and tell him that he needed to fight the bad scientist until one of them died.
Rick: Who’s this stereotypical piece of sh*t?
Axe Cop: Rick Sanchez, wanted by the Galactic Government for committing every possible crime. That makes you a bad guy, and I am going to CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!
Rick paused for a moment to process the situation. First he wound up on a planet with no memory except a terribly fake one about having an adventure, and now some weirdo came out of nowhere threatening to kill him. There was only one thing that could possibly explain everything that was going on, and Rick didn’t like it. Acting quickly, Rick pulled out his Portal Gun and grabbed Morty by the shoulder.
Rick: Oh my God, we’re in a f**king Death Battle! Morty, we need to run!
Morty: A Death Battle? Wha-wha-what’s that?
Rick: It’s a show made by a guy in Texas. It analyzes people and forces them to fight to the death. It's pretty self-explanatory. How do you not know this? You’re the one who’s on YouTube all the time!
Morty: Ah jeez, I don’t know there’s a lot of stuff on there.
Rick: You know what? We don’t have time for this. Let’s get out of here before this prejudice a**hole fulfills his promise.
Rick opens a portal using his gun and shoves Morty inside it, getting him to safety. He then tries to enter the portal himself, but hears yelling behind him. Rick turns around to see Axe Cop running toward him so he jumps out of the way right as Axe Cop swings his axe at his head. He missed his chance to get in the portal, but Rick still got himself to safety.
Axe Cop: You won’t get away from me so easily!
Realizing that his Death Battle is inevitable, Rick puts his Portal Gun back into his coat and pulls out a laser gun.
Rick: Alright Chief Wiggum, I’ll fight you, but when you die just remember, (*burps*) you chose to do this the hard way.
Axe Cop: It doesn't matter how hard you make it, every way is the easy way for me.
FIGHT!!!
Axe Cop starts by swinging his axe, but Rick manages to step back and barely dodge it. Axey continues swinging only for Rick to keep dodging until Axe Cop decides to change tactics and deliver a powerful kick to Rick’s chest. The blow sent him several feet back, but the scientist managed to land on his feet and fire a few rounds from his laser gun. However, each shot was deflected by Axe Cop using his Perfect Axe. The last shot in particular was somehow chopped in half by Axe Cop, and formed into two smaller shots that hit two nearby aliens. Fortunately, they were both bad guys so Axe Cop didn’t care.
Rick decided to make a run for it, but Axe Cop quickly chased after him so he reached into his lab coat and threw out several small, x-shaped machines that stuck to the city walls. They immediately leapt off the walls, formed into square robots with energy spikes, and flew towards Axe Cop. The unconventional officer tried to fend the robots off, but their numbers were too great and they completely covered him. It almost made Axe Cop fall down, but then he fired a beam from his hat that froze the robots causing them to fall down and shatter.
While the attack did little harm to Axe Cop, it gave Rick plenty of time to get away as the former could see the latter getting out of reach. That did not stop Axe Cop as he pulled out a shotgun and pointed it at Rick. The shotgun began to rapidly stretch itself until it poked Rick on the back. Though he didn’t immediately turn around to look, Rick could tell what was going on and pulled up his sleeve to reveal a futuristic watch. He turned around quickly and pushed a button on the watch which made it fire a laser at Axe Cop, who jumped out of the way as the laser made a noticeable cut on the right side of his face. The shock of pain made Axe Cop to fall to the ground, but not before Axe Cop could pull the trigger and shoot Rick right in the liver.
Rick: Godd*mnit! Not again! That’s the hardest working liver in the galaxy, you d*ck!
Rick placed his hand on his wound to slow down the bleeding while looking for a place to hide. He then noticed a large alleyway which had a UFO-like vehicle he immediately recognized as his Space Cruiser.
Rick: About time! Now let’s get the f**k out of here.
Rick hopped right into his Space Cruiser and grabbed some of the tools he kept inside. He used them to heal the wound on his liver, then turned the key to start his car’s ignition. Meanwhile, Axe Cop had just got up, rubbing the wound on his face. He was starting to get mad, but was more curious about where his target had run off too. Suddenly, he heard a flying noise and saw a UFO zoom into the atmosphere. He had a hunch that Rick was inside trying to get as far away from him as possible, and he was not going to let that happen.
Axe Cop: You want to take this to the skies? So be it. Wexter!
Upon Axe Cop uttering the name “Wexter” a huge roar could be heard by everyone in the city, including Rick. The scientist hoped that it wasn’t what he thought it was, but moments later he saw something in his rear view mirror. It was a flying green T-Rex equipped with machine gun arms and cop glasses, and riding the epic beast was Axe Cop with one hand on a harness and the other hand holding his axe.
Rick: Where the hell are you getting all this sh*t?
Rick presses a button on his ship which summons a laser gun from below the Space Cruiser. It fires several lasers at Wexter the T-Rex, but thanks to Axe Cop’s dinosaur riding skills, he manages to maneuver his pet through each of the blasts. Wexter retaliates by using his machine gun arms, firing dozens of bullets at the Space Cruiser, knocking it off balance and slowing it down. Axe Cop gives Wexter a signal to fly in close and bite the hell out of the UFO, which Wexter immediately does, but before he can make contact, Rick pulls hard on the steering wheel and performs a somersault, then briefly spins while above Wexter to drop several bombs on the dinosaur. The explosions send the dinosaur plummeting towards the ground, and Rick takes the opportunity to fly away only to be interrupted by a huge geyser of flames that almost hits him followed by its source, Axe Cop and Wexter, getting back into the air to continue their pursuit.
Rick: Sheesh, you're persistent. Might as well reward it.
Rick pressed yet another button, but instead of the small laser gun from earlier, it was a much larger laser cannon. Axe Cop knew that there was no chance of Wexter avoiding the cannon at such close range, so he got up and ran towards his pet’s head and jumped off it. Sure enough, the cannon fired and completely disintegrated Wexter. Axey on the other hand, escaped the blast and jumped far enough to land on the back of the Space Cruiser. He chopped off the laser cannon with his axe for revenge then stuck it into the car. Rick tried to shake his opponent off, but it was no use as Axe Cop used his fireman axe like a pickaxe to slowly climb towards the front door. Once Axe Cop got to said door, he opened it, grabbed Rick by his coat, and yanked him out. The scientist struggled to break free, but it wouldn’t do any good given that he was now hundreds of miles above the ground. He was just lucky that the car went into auto pilot when he left or else it would he would already be plummeting towards his death.
Axe Cop: Make sure to keep your head intact so I can chop it off later.
Upon that remark, Axe Cop hurled Rick toward the ground at incredible speeds. The latter didn’t have many options to save himself, but then he remembered that he could use his Portal Gun to land himself in a safer dimension. Rick pulled out the gun and immediately opened a portal. He didn’t have time to set the coordinates so wherever he would end up would be a mystery.
Rick: Ok multiverse, I don’t know what you have in store for me this time, but it better have some good cameos.
As Rick went through the portal, Axe Cop was watching from the Space Cruiser. Knowing that the scientist would somehow survive, he jumped off the car and dove through the portal right before it closed, sending him to the same dimension his opponent had escaped to.
Spinel VS Jevil by HyperSsonic[]
Elsewhere in the multiverse, two clown-like figures are duking it out in chaotic fashion. The larger pink figure is a Gem named Spinel, and the smaller dark-colored figure is a mysterious being named Jevil. The two were swinging scythes, matching each other blow for blow before a portal opened up above them. They saw something fall out of it and jumped out of the way as it landed and made a small dust crater. When the dust cleared, they were both confused by the old man in a lab coat that suddenly appeared. Rick then got up and took a look at his surroundings.
Rick: D*mn, I didn’t expect to land in the middle of a circus act, but at least I finally lost him.
However, the scientist spoke too soon as he heard something else go through the portal, and barely jumped out of the way as he saw Axe Cop emerge to try and chop his head off.
Rick: Shouldn’t have jinxed it.
Jevil: Uee Hee Hee! Looks more players have joined our little game!
Jevil summons two Devilsknives and throws them at the new players who narrowly dodge them and land right next to Spinel.
Spinel: Hey no fair! This is supposed to be between you and me!
Rick: Trust me, you don’t want to make this a three-on-one.
Axe Cop: Not unless you want your head chopped off!
Jevil: One player, three players, it doesn't matter as long as I have fun, fun!
Jevil fires a series of hearts and diamonds at the newly formed trio. Rick pulls out his laser guns and shoots them out of the air. Spinel and Axe Cop see the opening and charge towards Jevil, but the demonic jester casually dodges their attacks and summons an army of carousel horses and ducks.
Jevil: I can do anything!
While Spinel and Rick do their best to dodge the carousel animals, Axe Cop is undaunted and jumps from one animal to the other to get close to Jevil.
Axe Cop: Oh yeah? Well I can do anything too!
Axe Cop finally gets close enough to Jevil that he swings his axe and hits his target right in the neck, but instead of a decapitation Jevil’s head flies off attached to some sort of chain making it oscillate up and down like a jack-in-the-box. The others follow up the attack with Rick shooting several lasers at Jevil and Spinel enlarging her fist to deliver a massive punch to crush Jevil. All the attacks combined were not enough to end Jevil, but it did leave him exhausted.
Jevil: Enough! You guys tired me up!
The trio goes in for one last attack, but out of nowhere Jevil regains his energy and goes for one last attack.
Jevil: Kidding!! Here’s my final chaos!
Jevil throws a ton of Devilsknifes at his enemies which explode in their faces and send them flying back dozens of feet. He then summons a gargantuan Devilsknife that threatens to destroy everything in sight.
Jevil: Bye bye!
Rick: F**k it, I’m out.
Deciding that this wasn’t worth his effort, Rick grabs his Portal Gun and creates a portal to escape to yet another dimension. Axe Cop takes notice and remembers that Rick was his original target, before jumping into the portal to follow him. The portal then closes leaving Spinel all alone in her final moments.
Spinel: Abandoned yet again… figures.
The massive Devilsknife explodes, completely disintegrating Spinel’s body, Gem included.
Bruno Bucciarati vs Blake Belladonna by LakuitaBro01.2[]
In an abandoned warehouse the stylish gangster Bruno Bucciarati and the cat-eared huntress Blake Belladonna were fighting each other. The battle had created quite a mess with the most notable damage being the destroyed oil drums that now covered both the arena and it’s fighters. Rick came out of the portal just in time to see Bruno summon his Stand Sticky Fingers and try and punch Blake only for the latter to dodge it and trap the Stand in an ice clone of herself.
Rick: Ok, this is much weirder than the clown thing.
The remark caught Blake’s and Bruno’s attention as they turned around to see the scientist that had entered the room. Said scientist was then tackled by Axe Cop who emerged from the portal and held his opponent down while raising his axe to chop his head off.
Axe Cop: Now I’ve got you.
However, Blake couldn’t stand by and watch someone get murdered. She threw her kusarigama which wrapped itself around Axe Cop’s axe holding hand.
Blake: Stop it! There's no need for senseless killing!
Blake thought that she was strong enough to restrain the officer, but she was wrong. Axe Cop yanked the kusarigama’s string hard enough to sweep Blake off her feet and towards him. He then punched Blake in the stomach when she got close, sending the cat girl flying into a wooden crate that exploded upon impact. Bruno witnessed this display of strength and was left completely in shock.
Bruno: Impossible! The police actually have someone that strong? I need to dispose of him quickly!
Bruno had Sticky Fingers punch Blake’s ice clone, creating a zipper that separated it into two vertical halves and allowed the Stand to free it’s arm. The gangster then rushed toward Axe Cop and tried to deliver a punch with Sticky Fingers. Unfortunately, Axe Cop could see invisible things so he effortlessly blocked the hit with his axe holding arm. It seemed like a hopeless situation until Bruno let out a confident smirk.
Bruno: So you can see my Stand. Intresting, but it’s no good now that you’ve been hit.
Axe Cop didn’t know what the gangster was talking about until he saw a zipper form on his arm and unzip itself. The result caused both his arm and his axe to fall to the ground. This enraged Axe Cop, who then punched Bruno back with his remaining arm and pulled out a Sticky Dynamite Gun from his mustache.
Axe Cop: Guess I’ll need more than an axe for you!
During this, he had let go of Rick who got back up and wrapped his arms around Axe Cop’s neck from behind in an attempt to stop the attack.
Rick: Are you insane!? You’ll blow us all to pieces!
It was no good as Axe Cop still pulled the trigger, firing sticks of dynamite that stuck to various parts of the warehouse. Blake and Bruno recovered from their attacks and their eyes widened as they saw the dynamite everywhere along with the oil covered battlefield and realized that they were totally screwed. Rick did not want to share the same fate so he opened a portal with his gun and hid behind Axe Cop as much as possible, using him as a shield.
Bruno: Holy-
Blake: Sh*t.
The explosions went off killing everyone and everything inside the warehouse except for Rick, Axe Cop, Axe Cop’s severed arm, and the Perfect Axe which were all sent flying through the portal.
Frank West vs Jotaro Kujo by MaverickHunterSilver[]
The scene cuts away to a zombie-infested town in Japan where American reporter Frank West takes on the muscular teen Jotaro Kujo. Frank had just cornered his opponent and was about to go in for a finishing blow with his Laser Sword, but the second he thrusted it Jotaro disappeared leaving nothing but rubble in sight.
Frank: Oh, not this disappearing act again!
Frank looked around for Jotaro, but couldn’t find him as the Stardust Crusader was standing right behind him with the intent of beating him senseless.
Frank: Okay, this place… Is nu…
The reporter was then interrupted by the opening of a green portal in which several objects flew out of the portal and crashed right into Jotaro. Frank turned around to see what happened and saw Jotaro and the mysterious objects scattered everywhere. One of those objects was Axe Cop who immediately got up and grabbed his severed arm and axe. Frank watched as the arm reattached itself with some sort of zipper then got out his camera as he knew this was going to be good. Rick and Jotaro got up afterwards and looked at each other.
Jotaro: Yare yare daze. I wasn’t expecting more trouble to show up.
Rick: Yeah, well maybe if you f**k off I won’t be trouble for you.
The two stopped their conversation when Axe Cop came in for another swing. Rick dodged the axe again and pressed a button on his watch that made a bunch of realistic holograms of himself that surrounded him and Jotaro. They all somersaulted around to confuse and mock Axe Cop, but they didn’t know he had a contingency plan for this. Axe Cop pressed a button on his axe causing 1,000 axe blades to come out. He then swung the axe, hitting all the holograms and caused them to disappear. Rick and Jotaro were the only ones who avoided the swings, and the former threw some bombs that exploded in Axe Cop’s face. Jotaro was also hit by the explosives, but managed to block them a bit with his Stand Star Platinum. He was starting to get annoyed by the scientist who had got him stuck in the crossfire. Rick then got out a remote, and gave an “I’m ready to end this” expression.
Rick: I was going to save this one for later, but you’re starting to p*ss me off.
Rick pressed the button on the remote which let out a huge energy wave that froze time entirely. Both Axe Cop and Jotaro were now frozen, unable to move or fathom what was going on. Rick was the only one still moving and took the chance to walk close to Axe Cop and point the particle beam on his watch at his opponent.
Rick: Checkmate.
However, Rick’s attack was interrupted by a punch to his face. He then saw Jotaro moving in stopped time with a floating figure similar to the one in the warehouse earlier.
Jotaro: You really are a pain in the a** old man.
Rick: Godd*mn it, not this sh*t again.
Jotaro signaled Star Platinum to unleash a flurry of punches on the scientist.
Star Platinum: ORAORAORAORAORAORA!
Rick was punched into a nearby building forcing the time-freezing remote to fall out of his hands. Knowing that he couldn’t move in frozen time for much longer, Jotaro ordered Star Platinum to destroy the remote causing it to unleash an energy wave that made time unfreeze itself. Axe Cop was a bit surprised by the change in scenery which almost made him melt, but then saw Rick get up and open another portal to go through. He quickly ran through the portal as well to pursue the scientist in the next dimension.
Jotaro was relieved that the two had left, but then heard several camera flashes coming from Frank West who had been at a safe distance the whole time.
Frank: I’m not sure what that was, but it’s way better than a zombie apocalypse. Welp, time to go cash in my next 15 minutes of fame.
Frank ran off, forgetting his fight with Jotaro who simply sighed and pulled his hat down. He wasn’t sure what happened, but he was glad it was over.
Adult Cartoon Kids Battle Royale by TheGreatDimentio![]
(Minor spoilers ahead)
Rick and Axe Cop ended up in the quiet town of South Park with two kids named Stan and Kyle witnessing their arrival.
Stan: Holy sh*t, dude! Are you seeing this?
Kyle: I’m seeing it, alright.
Rick backs up at a bit and looks at Axe Cop, giving a calm expression and extending out his hand.
Rick: Look here Barbrady. We could do this all day, but considering how evenly matched we are neither one of us is getting out unscathed. I assure you that I’m not as bad as you think I am so how about you put it there and we call a truce. I’ll even make you a new flying dinosaur if you want.
Axe Cop: Hmm… well I do like dinosaurs. Alright, I’ll accept your truce.
Axe Cop walks up to Rick so he can shake his hand, but the two are interrupted by a bus passing by and dropping off three more kids named Cartman, Stewie, and Bart. The three were in the middle of a fight, and were ignoring the two adults on the battlefield until Stewie pulled out a flamethrower and pointed it at the two other boys. Bart and Cartman panicked and hid behind the two adults. Given that they were not involved in this feud, Stewie and his Britishness tried to politely convince Rick and Axe Cop to get out of the way.
Stewie: Excuse me chaps, but could you move out of the way so I could fry those two b*stards over there?
Rick: Yeah, yeah, just let me do this perfectly normal handshake first then you can kill the fata** and lemon boy.
Cartman: Hey, I’m not fat I’m big boned!
Cartman got furious and kicked Rick before he could touch Axe Cop’s hand. Without any explanation Cartman fell to the ground and died immediately. Axe Cop retracted his hand upon seeing this, realizing that Rick’s kind gesture was a dirty trap.
Axe Cop: An instant death secret attack? You lied to me!
Rick: Well duh! Did you really think I’d want to spare a guy who (*burps*) tried to kill me in multiple realities!
Rick reached into his coat and pulled out a bo staff which he used to whack Axe Cop. He continued his swings causing the officer to stumble backwards with each blow. The two ended up getting out of the way of Stewie’s flamethrower that now pointed at Bart Simpson who was distracted by Cartman’s instant death that he forgot to get out of the way.
Bart: D’oh!
Stewie fired the flamethrower and burned Bart to a crisp. Elsewhere, Rick and Axe Cop continued their clash. Axe Cop managed to regain his footing and strike back with his axe. The two weapons clashed for a while before Rick’s bo staff was chopped in half. The scientist tried to pull out a gun to shoot Axe Cop, but he easily dodged it. The blast opened up a portal and Rick realized that he grabbed the wrong gun. He shrugged then turned on his rocket boots, propelling himself into Axe Cop and tackling him into the portal. With the adults gone, Stewie decided to move on and point his flamethrower towards Stan and Kyle.
Stewie: One of you better tell me the way back to Quahog or else I'll roast you worse than Comedy Central roasted Pamella Anderson.
Marx vs. Omega Flowey by Y3p owo[]
Meanwhile in some random void, Flowey who had taken the form of a horrifying plant monster with a TV for a face was just about to kill a bat-winged jester named Marx. He hurled Marx at a giant clock called Nova then blasted a laser at the two, blowing up Nova and effectively killing both beings. It was at that moment that a portal opened and out came Rick in the midst of tackling Axe Cop. He saw Flowey up ahead and thought of using the monster to kill his opponent so he pushed Axe Cop away making the officer land right on Flowey’s TV screen while Rick stayed behind at Nova’s wreckage.
Flowey: Another human? Hee hee hee, today just gets more and more fun.
FILE 2 SAVED
Axe Cop got up to see a bunch of vines rapidly fly towards him. He easily chopped them all to pieces with his axe then took notice of the monster responsible for the attack.
Axe Cop: A cyborg plant thing with an evil face? I’LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!
True to his word, Axe Cop jumped into the air and put all his strength into his axe as it his Flowey. The blow had enough power to sever the TV head from the rest of Flowey’s body, effectively decapitating him. However-
LOAD FILE 2
Everything reverted back to the moment when Axe Cop landed on Flowey’s face. The sudden change caught Axe Cop off guard giving Flowey the opportunity to fire a bunch of nuclear bombs at him. The first few made a direct hit, but Axe Cop then grabbed one of the bombs and redirected it at the other bombs causing them all to blow up. Axe Cop followed it up by throwing his axe at Flowey’s TV head which made it shatter thus killing the monster yet again.
LOAD FILE 2
The scene reset itself again, and Flowey was getting annoyed with his repeated deaths. Axe Cop on the other hand, just figured out what was going on and gave a rather concerning smile.
Axe Cop: A bad guy I can kill forever? This is amazing!
Flowey: (*gulp*)
Flowey’s menacing smile turned into a frightened frown. Even with infinite resets, he knew there was no way he was getting out of this. What followed was Axe Cop killing Flowey in a bunch of ways which would take 100 pages to properly describe (and some of them were just too gruesome to mention). Flowey kept loading his save file to bring himself back, but a part of him wanted to stay dead rather than deal with the psycho before him. On the last reset, Axe Cop grabbed Flowey’s vine arms and started tying them together.
The process took a while which gave Rick, who was horrified by what he had witnessed over and over, the chance to escape the time loop. He decided to try and lose Axe Cop by creating multiple portals to throw off the officer, but before he entered one of them, he noticed a small red heart floating by. It didn’t seem like much, but Rick could feel a powerful force coming from it so he grabbed it and stuffed it into his lab coat.
Marx: Hey that’s mine! I stole it fair and square!
Rick turned around to see Marx who now had a much more demonic appearance. The scientist didn’t notice that while he was making multiple portals that Marx was absorbing Nova’s power to revive himself. As for the heart, it did belong to Marx after he had killed a certain child, found the heart, and stored it in his hat, but it fell out during Nova’s explosion. Of course, none of it mattered to Rick who simply pulled out a gun and shot it at Marx causing the winged jester to combust into blood and guts.
Rick: Finders, keepers b*tch!
The explosion was so loud that Axe Cop, who had just finished hogtying Flowey with his own arms, turned around to see that Rick had disappeared through one of the many portals that just appeared. Since he had gotten bored fighting the cyborg plant thing, Axey continued his chase and went through one of the portals hoping that it would lead to Rick Sanchez.
Chris McLean VS Monokuma by AGOODPERSON75[]
At Hope’s Peak Academy, two iconic hosts of dangerous games have dived into the danger itself to fight each other to the death. One of them is a heartless sociopath who enjoyed nothing more than torturing teenagers with deadly games he makes up, the other one is Monokuma.
The first one, Chris, was firing meatballs out of a cannon only for Monokuma to slice them all and retaliate by launching several spears. Chris dodges the spears and pulls out a remote and pushes a button on it, summoning several robotic clones of himself. Monokuma does the same by calling out a bunch of his own clones. The two clone armies charge at each other, but before they collide, Rick enters the academy via portal. He is right in the middle of the two groups so he creates a forcefield that blocks off the two groups.
Rick: I can’t get a single f**cking break today, can I?
Monokuma: Hey, no interfering with the execution! You’re ruining the fun!
Rick: Oh I’ll give you an execution.
An annoyed rick pulls out a box with a big blue button on it and starts hitting it repeatedly. Every time the button is hit, a light-blue creature would pop up and say the same phrase.
(Each) Mr. Meeseeks: I’m Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!
The Mr. Meeseeks keep popping up until their numbers rival that of the Chris and Monokuma armies combined. Rick then turns off his forcefield and gives his army their orders.
Rick: Mr. Meeseeks, kill all these robotic motherf**kers!
Without hesitation, the Mr. Meeseeks scramble and fight the robotic armies. The war was intense and some of the Mr. Meeseeks died from having their head smashed by a robotic Chris, being blown up by a self-destructing Monokuma, or being ganged up on by both rival armies just to name a few ways, but the Mr. Meeseeks numbers were still to great mainly because Rick was still hitting the button and giving orders. The Mr. Meeseeks army eventually got the upper hand and tore through all the robots.
When the war ended all that was left was bits and pieces of Monokumas and Robot Chrises. The original Monokuma was nowhere to be found, and it could only be assumed that he became collateral damage. With their tasks accomplished, the Mr. Meeseeks poofed out of existence (which is what happens when they fulfill a task) and Rick grabbed out his Portal Gun, ready to leave the academy. Before Rick opened a portal, he noticed that there was still one Mr. Meeseeks left making him curious.
Rick: Why are you still here?
Mr. Meeseeks: Well you said to destroy the robots, but I ended up killing this guy who looked just like them so I technically didn’t do my job.
The Mr. Meeseeks held up a Chris, but this one was the real Chris and not a robot. The unnatural position of his head and markings on his neck indicated that Mr. Meeseeks had come out of nowhere and snapped his neck. It was a brutal death, but not the worst one Rick had seen today.
Rick: Eh, close enough. Get out of here.
Mr. Meeseeks: Whoopie! Thank you!
The last Mr. Meeseeks disappeared and Rick opened another portal to walk through. He was hoping that when he got back there would be no more weird stuff to deal with especially that axe-wielding maniac.
Villains Who Are Like Their Enemy Battle Royal by Patbee2007[]
Axe Cop emerged from a completely different portal and didn’t see Rick anywhere in sight. It was clear that he went through the wrong portal, but that didn’t concern him. His bad guy senses were tingling like crazy and that could only mean one thing.
Axe Cop: There are bad guys here, lots of bad guys here.
Agent Smith: Indeed there are.
Axe Cop looked around and realized that he was a temple floating in space and he was surrounded by several bad guys. They consisted of Vegeta, Agent Smith, Wario, Shadow, Megatron, Mechagodzilla, Beta Ray Bill, and Zod.
Vegeta: Listen up runt, these Dragon Balls are mine so you better get lost unless you want to die like the rest of these losers!
Axe Cop: Oh, I won’t be the one to die.
Suddenly, a can of Red Bull emerged from Axe Cop’s badge. The cop grabbed and guzzled it then ran around so fast that he appeared invisible. Vegeta and Zod anticipated the attack and jumped back, Megatron and Mechagodzilla were unaffected due to their size, but the rest of the bad guys had their heads fly off before they could process what happened.
Zod: Impressive, but still too weak!
The Kryptonian flew at Axe Cop and tried to land a punch, but the latter grabbed it then threw Zod and Megatron’s head. This made Megatron’s head explode, killing him and Zod. His body fell to the ground, but in his final moments his Fusion Cannon went off and blasted a hole through Mechagodzilla, thus killing the other giant. This left Vegeta and Axe Cop in a one-on-one confrontation.
Vegeta: I stand corrected. You might actually be a worthy opponent.
Vegeta powered himself up by screaming really loud until his hair turned dark blue, transforming him into Super Saiyan Blue Evolved. In response Axe Cop took out a bull potion in one hand and his Laser Portal Gun in the other. He drank the bull potion while shooting his gun above him and making lava from a nearby volcano fall on top of him. The result turned Axe Cop into a bright red bull with a battle axe aka Axe Cop Lava Bull. Both fighters prepared to clash with Vegeta placing his hands together and Axe Cop taking a deep breath.
Vegeta: Final Flash!
Vegeta shot out a huge blast of ki while Axe Cop breathed out a huge blast of lava. The two attacks collided with such ferocity that it created a huge explosion that could be seen from space. When the blast dissipated Vegeta was back in his base form looking heavily exhausted. He thought that his Final Flash had reduced his opponent to a crisp, but he was proven wrong when an axe suddenly came flying towards his head. With one powerful swing, the Prince of Saiyans got his head chopped off and the last thing he saw was Axe Cop who had only lost his Lava Bull form from the explosion.
Now that all the bad guys were dead, Axe Cop looked for a way off the temple. By pure coincidence he found one when a portal opened up with a familiar figure emerging from it.
Rick: D*mn it, I must have put the wrong coordinates in.
Axe Cop: There you are!
Rick: Oh no.
Rick shot another portal and tried to make a run for it, but Axe Cop was too fast and got close enough to chop the scientist’s arm off and make him scream in pain for a bit.
Rick: Oh no.
Rick started to get desperate, he was only a few feet away from the portal that could help escape Axe Cop’s wrath, but the officer was only moments away from the final swing.
Rick: Oh noooooo…
Kool-Aid Man vs. Randy Savage by ACrystalMunkey[]
Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAAAAAH!
Everyone’s favorite humanoid pitcher, the Kool-Aid Man was to deal a fatal blow to professional wrestler Randy Savage, but the latter was fully prepared for the attack.
Randy: Oh no you don’t!
Randy got out of the way as Kool-Aid Man’s fist struck the Earth. The wrestler then delivered a couple powerful blows to the pitcher before sending him flying with a super strong uppercut.
Randy: Now THAT’S real product power!
Kool-Aid Man crashes into a billboard and lands right next to Rick Sanchez, who had managed to escape Axe Cop for a brief while. The scientist had just finished attaching a mechanical arm to himself to replace the severed one when he noticed that Kool-Aid Man’s head was leaking. He took out a flask containing alcohol and opened it to catch red Kool-Aid, thus mixing the two drinks. Rick then took a huge drink from his flask while Kool-Aid Man regained consciousness and watched in disgust.
Kool-Aid Man: You dare spike my Kool-Aid? Blasphemy!!!
Kool-Aid Man was so angry at Rick he didn’t notice Randy Savage appear right behind him until the wrestler picked him up and caught him off-guard.
Randy: Time to meet your maker, Kool-Aid boy!
Randy threw the pitcher to the ground thus smashing him into a million pieces. Rick finished his drink and thought of a brilliant idea as he approached the wrestler.
Rick: You seem pretty savage. Any chance you can help me get rid of a certain d*ckwad?
Randy: Depends, who is this d*ckwad?
Just then, Axe Cop dropped out of the sky and landed in front of Rick and Randy. His muscular physique and intimidating expression made Axe Cop look like a challenging opponent which got Randy excited.
Rick: He’s the d*ckwad.
Randy: Hmmm... He looks pretty tough. Alright I’ll help you.
Randy took out a Slim Jim and snapped it in half which somehow sent the three back to a wrestling ring that he fought Kool-Aid Man in a while ago.
Rick: Not a bad setup you got here. Mind if I mix things up a bit.
Rick shot opened up another portal and a mysterious object fell out of it with two discs that people could stand on. He and Randy stepped onto the two discs and the two became covered up by a purge-styled armor.
Randy: This is going to be fun.
Rick started up the 2v1 by firing bullets from his wrists. Axe Cop dodged all the bullets and made his way towards Rick only to be intercepted by Randy’s punch. The blow sent him flying into the ropes which he then ricocheted off of. Randy then placed his hands together and hammered Axe Cop on the head when he got close. Axe Cop tried to get up, but he got hit with a series of punches by Randy in the front and Rick in the back. Rick tried to end the fight by throwing Axe Cop into the air and blasting him with a missile, but the explosion was not enough and Axe Cop landed himself feet first on the ropes.
Axe Cop: Time to show you a real wrestling move.
Axe Cop jumped off the ropes and flew so high that he went into space for a brief moment. As he started descending, Axe Cop got into elbow drop position and started to catch fire. The attack was coming in too fast for Rick, but Randy Savage was not about to let his new friend go down so easily.
Randy: Look out!
Randy pushed Rick out of the way and took the elbow drop. The force was so strong that it destroyed Randy’s armor and crushed his skull into a bloody paste. Rick normally didn’t care for people dying, but this person had sacrificed his life for him and it left Rick devastated.
Rick: You son of a b*tch! You’ll pay for that!
Axe Cop ran toward Rick to finish the job, but the scientist pulled out his Portal Gun and opened a portal below the officer’s feet causing him to fall into another dimension. Rick then engaged his rocket boots and flew into the portal to avenge Randy Savage.
Ness VS Frisk by Sharaku Jr.[]
The battle moves on to an underground location covered in snow and trees. Right above the trees were two boys named Ness and Frisk who were too caught up in their own fight to worry about their rapid descent. Ness proceeded to grab Frisk and throw him/her downwards. As Frisk flew further towards the ground Ness gathered electricity into his fingertips.
Ness: PK Thunder!
A large ball of electricity emerged from Ness’s fingertips and flew directly into it’s summoner. This sent Ness rocketing towards Frisk while covered in electricity. He tackled the ambiguously-gendered child and began charging as much PSI as he could to unleash a final strike, but before he could do so he sensed something tore a hole in the universe. Said hole was a portal opening with Axe Cop falling out of it and Rick chasing after him. This causes Ness to lose focus and hit Frisk with less power than he intended. Frisk crashed into the ground, narrowly avoiding a potential disintegration, but was still put into critical condition. With no other option, Frisk tries to load his/her SAVE file to go back to the point where his/her fight with Ness started.
You tried to reach your SAVE file.
But you did not have enough DETERMINATION.
This greatly confused Frisk. It wasn’t the first time he/she couldn’t access his/her SAVE file, but it felt like it was completely stolen from him/her, stolen by someone with more DETERMINATION.
Meanwhile, Rick had closed in on Axe Cop and was about to tackle him into the Earth, but a few seconds after he grappled the officer Axe Cop chopped him in the back with his axe causing the scientist’s armor to malfunction. The armor went haywire, forcing Rick to let go as both he and his enemy fell to the ground. Rick’s armor fell apart from the impact then a small red glow began emanating from his lab coat as he heard a voice go off in his head.
The cold snow relieves you of your hangover.
It fills you with DETERMINATION.
FILE SAVED
Rick wasn’t sure what he just felt, but he had a feeling he would need it. As he was still processing things, Axe Cop got up and swiftly chopped his head off.
GAME OVER
You cannot give up just yet…
There are still three cameos left to do.
Stay DETERMINED!
SAVE FILE LOADED
Rick opened his eyes and realized he was at the exact point in time when he started hearing the voice in his head. Knowing what would happen, he jumped out of the way just as Axe Cop was about to chop his head off. As he got his act together, Rick noticed the glow in his lab coat and pulled out it’s source. It was the heart he had stolen from Marx earlier and it apparently gave him the power to rewind time in this dimension.
Rick: F*ck yeah! All these Toby Fox references were worth it!
Axe Cop wasn’t sure what was going on, but he noticed that Rick was getting excited over a heart. Whatever it was, Axe Cop wanted one too. He took notice of Frisk who was shocked and confused by the whole thing, but clearly knew what was going on. Axe Cop figured that Frisk had the same heart thing Rick had so he removed his glasses and a ghostly hand came out of his mouth. The hand (appropriately) plunged deep into Frisk and pulled out another small red heart that Axe Cop immediately absorbed.
You just ate a child’s soul.
It’s disturbing, but it fills you with DETERMINATION.
FILE SAVED.
Axe Cop: Now I those heart powers too!
This motherf**ker just evened the playing field.
Your desire to kick his a** fills you with DETERMINATION.
FILE SAVED
With both files saved at the same point, Rick and Axe Cop charge at each other DETERMINED to kill the other no matter how many times it took. Rick started things off by disintegrating Axe Cop with a laser from his mechanical arm, then Axe Cop loaded his SAVE file and countered by melting Rick’s brain with a brain melt ray from his hat. Time rewound once again as Rick loaded his SAVE file to freeze Axe Cop solid with a special taser, and Axe Cop countered by resetting time again to melt Rick’s face with his pepper spray. The repeated deaths went back and forth for a while with nobody aware of what was truly going on, except for Ness who was astonished by Rick’s and Axe Cop’s ability to mess with time.
Ness: These two are going throwing the universe into chaos. I have to put an end to this! PK Starstorm!
Rick and Axe Cop stopped fighting as they heard a huge rumble coming from the sky. They looked up to see a massive swarm of meteors being summoned by a small child floating in the air. While both of them wanted to take out the kid and continue their brawl, they knew that there was no escape from the PK Starstorm attack. Rick decides to open a portal and escape to the next dimension even if his time resetting would be useless there, and Axe Cop chased after him.
[DBX] Natsu vs Esdeath by CrimsonAce01[]
In the Kingdom of Fiore, Natsu Dragneel is trying to repel the invading General Esdeath. The latter raises her hands up and summons a horde of ice shards before launching them at Natsu.
Esdeath: Let’s see if you can handle this. WEISS SCHNABE!
In response, Natsu raises his own hands to create a large fireball to melt the incoming ice shards.
Natsu: FIRE DRAGON’S BRILLIANT-
Before Natsu could finish naming his anime attack, Rick came out of a portal and noticed that the current dimension was different from the ones he had previously been in.
Rick: Huh, must have overshot my destination.
Natsu: What the? Where did this geezer come fro-
Natsu was then cut off by the series of ice shards he was supposed to intercept. This caused him to throw his fireball in the wrong direction and towards Rick. The scientist got out of the way in time and right as Axe Cop was getting out of the portal. As a result, Axe Cop was hit directly by the fireball and the flames engulfed him until he was no longer visible.
Natsu: Oh no! I totally fried that guy!
Axe Cop: Wrong! Fire doesn't harm me, instead it turns me into: Axe Cop Fire!
The flames dispersed and revealed Axe Cop who was now covered in flames like they were a part of his body. He then let out a flamethrower from his mouth that almost incinerated Rick and Esdeath. Fortunately, the two blocked the attacks using their shields and ended up side by side. Natsu got right next to Axe Cop seeing him as a new ally in the war on Esdeath.
Natsu: Glad to see another Dragonslayer join the fight. Now let’s shatter these two into a million pieces!
Axe Cop: With pleasure!
Rick: Ugh. This guy just won’t let up, and now he’s got a hotheaded sidekick.
Esdeath: No matter. These weaklings will know their place soon enough.
With dialog out of the way, the tag team match of Rick and Esdeath against Natsu and Axe Cop began. Esdeath started by charging with her sword which was blocked by Axe Cop’s axe. The cop tried to burn her with his fire breath, but Esdeath jumped out of the way only for Natsu to hit her with a fiery fist to the face. Rick pulled out a laser gun and tried to shoot Natsu, but the Dragonslayer easily ran past the blasts and got in close. He tried to land another fire filled punch of Rick, but the scientist teleported right behind him and took off his lab coat.
Rick: Lab coat, rip off Dr. Strange again.
The lab coat came to life and wrapped around Natsu’s neck threatening to strangle him. Axe Cop tried to intervene by chopping Rick’s head off, but his legs became frozen in ice out of nowhere. He saw that Esdeath had gotten back up and stopped him. The general then summoned a couple pillars of ice to knock Natsu and Axe Cop back then raised her hand in the air to prepare for a big attack.
Esdeath: GRAUHORN!
Suddenly, a huge ice horn manifested in the sky and flew at the ice general’s enemies. Natsu knew he had to stop it, so he ripped the lab coat in half, put his hands together, and placed them near his mouth.
Natsu: FIRE DRAGON’S ROAR!
A huge flamethrower came out of Natsu’s mouth and melted the ice horn in seconds. Rick could tell that the pink haired kid was going to be troubled so he pulled out a gun with a syringe on it and pierced his own neck to extract his DNA. Axe Cop saw Rick’s new gun and acted quickly to stop him.
Axe Cop: You won’t be able to fire that gun after I use my secret attack. OOOOLLDD!
Axe Cop yelled “OLD” so loud that it had an effect on Rick and Esdeath. The two started to rapidly age until they turned to dust.
Esdeath: No... I was too weak...
While Esdeath was unable to escape her death, Rick managed to fire his gun in his final moments and hit Natsu right in the shoulder.
Natsu: Ouch! Hey, what is this? Why do I have a stomach ache all of a sudden?
Natsu’s questions were soon answered as a baby Rick burst out of his stomach, effectively killing the former and bringing the latter back to life. The baby Rick grew to full size, albeit he was completely naked which disgusted Axe Cop as he barfed fire on the ground. The now fully grown Rick grabbed his Portal Gun from the ashes of his old body, gave Axe Cop “the finger”, and opened a portal below himself to escape. He took a quick stop by his lab to get some new clothes and copies of his equipment, but when Axe Cop showed up through the same portal, Rick knew it was time to leave so he opened another portal to escape to the next dimension.
Guts VS Dimitri by Arigamy[]
(Major spoilers ahead)
Rick arrived at a forest littered with skeletons of humans and demons alike. Most of it didn’t matter to Rick until he came near a skull hanging from an iron lance. He looked down to see what appeared to be part of another lance’s tip, but the material it was made from was unknown. Rick picked up the lance tip to inspect it further, but then Axe Cop came out of the portal.
Since he was still Axe Cop Fire, he let out a huge roar of fire at Rick who created a forcefield to block it. The flames spread elsewhere and set the whole forest on fire threatening to burn Rick down with it. This did not bother the scientist who altered the forcefield to wrap around his body and charged towards Axe Cop. The officer’s fire blast continued, but just bounced off Rick as he held up the lance tip preparing to use it as a shank. Rick got in close and made a quick swing which caused the lance tip to glow and strike Axe Cop with immense force. The blow knocked Axe Cop through several trees and put out his fire from. Rick looked at his new weapon and a devious smile appeared on his face.
Rick: Holy sh*t! I need to get myself one of these!
Knowing that the tip would not be enough, Rick discarded it and pulled out another watch. When he pressed the button on it, he disappeared in a flash of light. Axe Cop witnessed this and figured that this did not send him somewhere in the multiverse, otherwise the scientist would have used his Portal Gun. He had an idea of what Rick’s watch did, and pulled out his Laser-Portal Gun to pursue him.
One Year Ago
The Black Swordsman Guts and Dimitri the Boar Prince were in the middle of an intense battle. Guts swung his massive sword Dragon Slayer, but Dimitri barely managed to block it with his lance Areadbhar. The prince jumps off Gut’s sword and lands right behind the Black Swordsman. He then charges up Areadbhar and delivers a swing powerful enough to destroy Gut’s armor. Dimitri twirls his lance for another strike, but is interrupted by a sudden flash of light. Rick emerges from the light and takes notice of Areadbhar and it’s wielder.
Rick: Sup D&D nerd.
Dimitri: What did you call me!?
Rick taps a button on his watch which fires a particle beam that disintegrates Dimitri. The scientist takes the opportunity to grab the abandoned lance and claims it for his own.
Rick: F*ck yeah! Let’s see that b*stard in blue deal with this!
Guts: He destroyed him with one strike? What kind of demon is he?
Rick: Did you say something cyclops?
Before Guts could understand what was going on, a blue portal formed in the exact place he was standing causing him to explode. From the portal Axe Cop emerged and saw Rick with his new weapon. It made Axe Cop jealous, and he wanted his own new weapon. He saw a massive, blood-stained sword and picked it up to wield alongside his axe.
Axe Cop: With two ways to chop your head off, I can’t lose!
The two clashed with their new weapons. Axe Cop took the early lead by rapidly swinging the Perfect Axe and Dragon Slayer to overpower Rick, but the scientist turned things around by dodging the Perfect Axe and thrusting Areadbher before the officer could swing the much heavier Dragon Slayer. This staggered Axe Cop allowing Rick to charge up the lance and make it glow red. He charged forwards for a finishing blow, however Axe Cop recovered in time to block it with Dragon Slayer. The collision was so powerful that both of the new weapons shattered and forced the two to back away from each other.
Thinking quickly, Rick pulled out his Portal Gun and Axe Cop pulled out his Laser-Portal Gun. The two fired at each other and the beams collided creating a massive portal that’s shape and color resembled a black hole. It even had a similar effect as it sucked up Rick and Axe Cop, forcibly sending them further back in time and to another place in the multiverse.
Reality Warping Villians Battle Royale by Omniversia999[]
The last location of the battle was the magical land of Equestria approximently one year before the previous fight. Unfortunelty, the magical land of ponies had been thrown into utter chaos. Four godly beings named Bowser, Magolor, Bill Cipher, and Discord were waging war on each other to determine the fate of the land. Bowser and Magolor fought each other in the air while Bill and Discord did their battle on land. The battle continued for a while until a black hole-like vortex opened up in the sky. Bowser and Magalor headed back down to the ground to get to safety and the four reality warpers gathered together to look at the huge hole.
Discord: Ok, time out. Killing each other is one thing, but we absolutely cannot tear holes in the space-time continuum. We need that. Now which one of you jerks did this?
Magolor: Wasn’t me. I'm a conquerer, not a destroyer.
Bowser: Does it look like I can do that, bub?
The three turned to look at Bill, the only being who would do such a thing without second thought.
Bill: What? I haven’t torn any holes in the universe… yet.
As the four were arguing Rick and Axe Cop emerged from the portal. Thanks to the heavily warped space-time within the portal (and very lazy writing) the two had emerged with large new weapons. Rick was in a gargantuan robot version of himself while Axe Cop was sitting in a giant robot suit that held two large swords. Upon seeing the new challengers, Bowser and Bill Cipher got mad and wanted to get rid of the two before either one conquered Equestria instead of them.
Bill: Shall we spikey?
Bowser: Let’s give them hell!
Bowser gathered up dark magic to increase his size to that of the giant robots and Bill did the same with his weird biology. Soon there were four giants in Equestria ready to go all out in a new four-way battle royale. Meanwhile Discord and Magolor, who could not gigantify themselves, started to realize they were heavily outclassed in this situation.
Discord: ...Bail?
Magolor: Bail.
Magolor opened a portal and the two walked through it to go somewhere safer as the giant began to brawl. Rick was the first one to strike as he tried to bash Axe Cop’s face in, but the officer’s robot suit blocked it with his swords. Axe Cop then stabbed Rick’s robot in the arm who then tried to pull the sword out, but it exploded knocking the mech down. Bowser saw an opportunity and blasted Axe Cop with fire as he walked towards him. When he got close, Bower started punching Axe Cop’s robot, but Bill interfered by cloning himself and attacking both Bowser and Axe Cop from behind with a flurry of punches.
With the same enemy attacking them, Axe Cop and Bowser decided to team up by grabbing both Bill Ciphers and slamming them into each other. This turned the demonic triangle back into one enemy as Bowser held on to slam him into the ground. Bill tried to fight back by blasting a laser from his eye, but Bowser matched it with a downwards flamethrower then stomped on Bill’s eye to stun him. Axe Cop followed it up by getting out two golden swords and used one of them to impale Bill Cipher. The golden sword had so much power within it that Bill Cipher’s body started glitching out until he exploded, destroying one of the four giants.
Axe Cop and Bowser were about to re-engage in their duel until Rick’s Robot got up and suplexed Bowser from behind. The Koopa King got up and clawed at Rick’s robotic face, destroying it and revealing the real Rick inside. The scientist then threw out several mysterious orbs that surrounded the gigantic Bowser and shocked them. These orbs stole chunks of Bowser’s DNA which took away core genetics and reduced the Koopa King to slime. Rick smirked at his victory, but it was short lived as Axe Cop threw his second golden sword through the robot Rick’s chest causing it to fall over. Before it self-destructed Rick opened another portal and out came his Space Cruiser to pick him up as he made his way to the skies.
Rick: You think you’re some big deal because you have a bunch of fancy gadgets? Well, I’m the smartest man in the universe! (*burps*) There is no bigger deal than me! Computer, drop the Neutrino Bomb!
At Rick’s command a large nuke was ejected from his ship and threatened to end all life below. In response Axe Cop got out a stick of dynamite (the one for blowing up worlds) at lit it’s fuse.
Axe Cop: No matter what, I will not let a bad guy get away, and now it's time for you to DIE!!!
Axe Cop threw the dynamite with intense force and it hit the Neutrino Bomb directly. The two explosions went on creating a massive nuclear explosion that spread throughout Equestria. It completely disintegrated everything on the ground including ponies, unicorns, and even Axe Cop himself. Rick managed to get to the skies, but the explosion still caught up to him, heavily damaging his ship and forcing it to crash into the ground. Upon recovering from the crash, Rick got out of his Space Cruiser coughing up blood from his injuries. He wasn’t in great condition, but it was still better than being a pile of ash like his opponent.
Rick: Oh thank God that’s finally over with.
The victory was short-lived as another black hole-like portal opened up with Axe Cop emerging from it.
Rick: What the f**k!? How are you alive!?
Axe Cop held up a magic wand and gave his explanation.
Axe Cop: When we were in that super portal, I used my magic wand to make a perfect clone of myself. I then sent the clone to fight you while I escaped into the future.
Rick: That doesn't make any f**king sense! Think of the plot holes!
In the middle of Rick’s frustration, Axe Cop pointed his magic wand and threatened to blast the scientist with magic. Rick retaliates by smacking the wand out of the officer’s hand then grabbing his face to headbutt it. He continues punching Axe Cop in the face and adding a few body blows as well. Axe Cop tries to retaliate by pulling out his axe and swinging it only for Rick to dodge the first swing and block the second with a forcefield. The officer retaliated with an energy hand from his hat that grabbed Rick. He tried to fire another attack from his hat that would cut Rick in two, but a surge of energy exploded from Rick’s body to repel his attacker and free himself. Axe Cop managed to stay on his feet and pounced at Rick, tackling him to the ground then bashing him with the back end of his axe a few times. Rick was barely able to move from the pain, but still managed to pull out his Portal Gun and pointed it outwards. Axe Cop tried to stop him by raising his axe-wielding hand to chop his head off.
Axe Cop: You’re not running away this time!
Rick: Trust me, for once I’m not running.
Rick shot the Portal Gun, creating a portal right in front of him. However, this time the second portal didn’t open in another dimension, but instead where Axe Cop’s raised arm was. The second portal severed Axe Cop’s arm off causing it and the Perfect Axe to fall to the ground. Unlike the incident with the Stand user, Axe Cop wasn’t getting his arm back. He recoiled away in pain and Rick took the opportunity to get up and grab his axe. Axe Cop looked up and gave a horrified expression as he saw Rick about to swing his axe.
Rick: Lick. My. Balls.
With one swing, Rick chopped Axe Cop’s head off and made the rest of him fall to the ground. Believing it was finally over, Rick twirled around the Perfect Axe and walked away.
Rick: You know what, I’m keeping this. It's not a bad weapon.
Little did Rick know chopping off Axe Cop’s head does not kill him. The severed head grew mechanical spider legs and crawled back on to the headless body. This put most of Axe Cop back together as he got up and notified his opponent of his comeback.
Axe Cop: This isn’t over yet. I still have one more axe!
Rick turned around to see Axe Cop still alive with small robot arms coming out of his mustache. The robot arms were holding the Holy Golden Axe, and Axe Cop eagerly grabbed it with his remaining arm.
Rick: You just won’t stay down. Alright b*tch, Final Round!
The two charge at each other and swing their axes. Their attacks matched each other letting out sounds of clashing metal throughout the wasteland that was once Equestria. Axe Cop found an opening and swiftly sliced apart Rick’s left eye. The scientist fought back by slashing Axe Cop’s chest leaving a huge scar. Rick then grabbed the Perfect Axe with both hands and swinged downwards. Axe Cop tried to block it, but it proved difficult with only one arm and a bleeding wound across his chest. However, he was not being overpowered. Using his incredible strength, Axe Cop pushed back and turned the situation around with Rick being the one struggling to keep him back.
Axe Cop then let out a powerful swing that cut the Perfect Axe in two. He went for another swing which Rick tried to block by pushing the button on his watch to make a forcefield, but the said forcefield was chopped in two along with Rick’s left arm. The scientist screamed in pain, but wasn’t given the time to recuperate as Axe Cop continued chopping him to pieces. He started by chopping off the scientist’s other arm then chopping off both legs in one swing. The last swing was powerful enough to make airbound and Axe Cop kicked him so hard that he rocketed into the stratosphere. When Rick started falling back down, he uttered his final words.
Rick: F**K YOU WIZ AND BOOMSTICKKKKKKKKKKK!!!
Rick’s body caught fire from the descent and Axe Cop got into position for the finishing blow.
Axe Cop: Oh, I almost forgot…
Once Rick’s body was in range, Axe Cop aimed for the neck and let out one last attack.
Axe Cop: TO CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!!!
Axe Cop chopped off Rick’s head which flew upwards. The officer put away the Holy Golden Axe and caught Rick’s head before it hit the ground. Rick’s head had severe burns that turned the skin black and it was still on fire. Axe Cop looked into Rick’s lifeless eye and commented on what was perhaps one of his greatest kills.
Axe Cop: You said you were the smartest man in the universe, now you are the deadest man in the universe.
K.O!
Back at the Smith residence, Morty is looking around Rick’s lab waiting for his grandfather to return. He hears a portal open behind him, and turns around expecting Rick to appear. Instead, Axe Cop’s arm comes out to chop Morty’s head off. It was the officer’s way of ensuring that any accomplices of his latest dead bad guy don’t come after him.
Results[]
Wiz: Wow, that… that was chaotic.
Boomstick: I know, and I think we ruined a whole bunch of other fights too.
Wiz: (*ahem*) With their absolutely mind-boggling feats, Rick Sanchez and Axe Cop were evenly matched in a lot of different ways. They have taken down extremely powerful opponents, had similar lightspeed reactions, and had very versatile arsenals to work with.
Boomstick: And among those arsenals each of them had a lot of one-shot options like Rick’s particle beam or Axe Cop’s soul stealing meaning this fight could have gone either way. If we were to do this over and over again Rick would definitely win a handful of these fights, but Axe Cop’s winning most of the time for a good reason.
Popup: It could be argued that Rick is capable of making a universe destroying bomb, but it most likely took multiple Ricks to create such a device. Even so, Axe Cop has fought against Tu and Bu, who are also capable of universe-level destruction.
Wiz: First of all, Axe Cop's history of fighting day and night nonstop gave him and mastery of multiple martial arts gave him a very clear advantage in experience and skill. Sure Rick may have been smarter, but head-on fights were Axe Cop's bread and butter. Plus Axe Cop was highly intellegent in his own right, so Rick wouldn't have been able to outsmart the axe-weilding justice enforcer so easily.
Boomstick: And overpowering the mad scientist was no problem either. The mad scientist never had to deal with someone who could through the freaking sun, plus when you compare their weapons Axe Cop’s could dish out a lot more damage, and that’s what really mattered in this fight: who exactly had the better weapons.
Wiz: For the most part, their weapons matched each other perfectly. Though Rick couldn’t keep up with Axe Cop's destructive power, he was the only one who had defensive equipment on hand which proved to be his biggest advantage. Combined with his strategic intellect, Rick could use this to avoid Axe Cop and land a fatal blow before he did, but only if those defenses held up long enough.
Boomstick: And unfortunately for everyone’s favorite genius drinker Axe Cop had an answer for most of those defenses. For example, an army of holograms or Meeseeks could never last against an axe that can chop off a thousand heads at once, and as for the forcefields, Axe Cop’s insane strength could probably overpower them, but if not then the Golden Axe certainly could since it cuts through literally anything.
Popup: Axe Cop’s claim that the Holy Golden Axe can cut through anything holds true given it’s history of cutting through and killing things it reasonably shouldn’t have.
Wiz: Whether it was offensive or defensive Rick didn’t have a weapon that Axe Cop couldn’t effortlessly beat, except for two: the strange “re-birthing” gun and the time freezer. However, they simply were not enough to guarantee a win. At best, the “re-birther” gun could be used as a one-shoting option, but Axe Cop had plenty of one-shot options himself to kill Rick before he used it. Even if Rick hit another target to save himself from death, it would only prolong the inevitable and leave Rick without his equipment.
Boomstick: But the time freezer was a bit more difficult to deal with. All Rick had to do was push a button and he could end the fight however he wanted. So how does Axe Cop counter this? Well… he can’t, at least not directly.
Wiz: Axe Cop didn’t have anything to deal with frozen time, but he could end the fight just as quickly as Rick could. Like Rick, Axe Cop could just push a button on his axe to make Rick dance uncontrollably or with the Oldifyer he simply had to say “old” and the mad scientist would drop dead.
Boomstick: It’s hard to say exactly how the Oldifyer works, but it seems the target needs to hear it in order for the attack to work. Rick didn’t have any inventions that could stop something like that, and the guy’s pretty old as is.
Popup: Rick has developed a serum to counter Heistatron’s mind control which was chemical based, but Axe Cop’s mind control was psychic-based. Rick has been affected by psychic manipulation in the past so it is possible for Axe Cop to take control of his mind.
Wiz: All things considered, this fight was one of the closest ones ever concieved in Death Battle history. Rick may have proved he was the smartest man in the universe, but Axe Cop’s superior strength, unparalleled fighting ability, and over the top arsenal was something the mad scientist couldn’t find an answer to.
Boomstick: And now we know what the strongest force in the universe is.
Wiz: An axe-murderer with an extreme devotion to justice?
Boomstick: No stupid, it’s childhood imagination. If it can make someone as powerful as Axe Cop, then there’s no telling what else it’s capable of.
Wiz: You’re right, a person’s imagination is scary as it is intriguing, especially the unrestricted one of a five-year old.
Boomstick: Rick just didn’t stand a San-”chance” and ended up getting the “axe”.
Wiz: The winner is Axe Cop.
Soundtrack Cover[]
Cameos/Special Thanks[]
Thank you to everyone who let me feature their fight in my Death Battle! It was fun to read all these fights and write my own chaotic version of them! Hope you all have a Happy New Year! :)
The featured cameos are as follows:
- Spinel VS Jevil by HyperSsonic
- Bruno Bucciarati vs Blake Belladonna by LakuitaBro01.2
- Frank West vs Jotaro Kujo by MaverickHunterSilver
- Adult Cartoon Kids Battle Royale by TheGreatDimentio!
- Marx vs. Omega Flowey by Y3p owo
- Chris McLean VS Monokuma by AGOODPERSON75
- Villains Who Are Like Their Enemy Battle Royale by Patbee2007
- Kool-Aid Man vs. Randy Savage by ACrystalMunkey
- Ness VS Frisk by Sharaku Jr.
- Natsu vs Esdeath by CrimsonAce01
- From DBX Fanon Wiki
- Guts VS Dimitri by Arigarmy
- Reality Warping Villians Battle Royale by Omniversia999
Next Time[]
In the middle of a black void, Deadpool is seen walking around with Wiz's invention. He was trying to leave the Death Battle studio, but the magic of plot device made him go the wrong way and end up in a place that seemingly shouldn't exist.
Deadpool: Hello, is anyone here? Wiz? Boomstick? ...Professor Mewtwo? Seems like I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Now what the hell is this place?
Deadpool looked around for a while, but then heard a slidewhistling noise that indicated an object falling at cartoonish speeds.
Deadpool: This can't be good.
Deadpool looked up and saw what appeared to be huge rock about to crush him. He panicked and dropped Wiz's invention which broke upon hitting the ground (or whatever it hit. It's hard to tell in a void separated from reality.). Deadpool then jumped out of the way just as the rock landed and saw that it was actually a bunch of words giving a long awaited announcement.
Deadpool: Seriously, that's what you nearly killed me for!? We already knew this was happening! The least you could do is tell us what the first matchup is! Hell, just show us who the first combatant is right now!
And just like that, another slidewhistling noise was made to indicate another set of words was about to crush Deadpool.
Deadpool: F***.
The words land on Deadpool, crushing but not killing him, while also teasing the next Death Battle.
Deadpool: Sweet! It's finally my turn! Also, ouch.
Season 3 Premieres Spring 2021!!!
Next Time: Deadpool vs Harley Quinn