| Red VS Calem | |
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| Season 1, Episode 3 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | August 2016 |
| Written by | SlashLion5K |
| Directed by | SlashLion5K |
Episode guide
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Red VS Calem is a What-If? Episode of DEATH BATTLE! Adopted by Pokemon Trainer Lion to commemorate Pokémon's 20th Anniversary.
Description[]
Pokémon Showdown! It's Classic VS Modern as Red from Kanto takes on Calem from Kalos! Which Trainer who unlocked the power of Mega Evolution will overcome the competition? What better way to commemorate 20 years then to pit the First Champion with the Mega Evolution user?
Interlude[]
(Cue Invader:- Jim Johnston)
Blade: Over the years, many Pokémon Trainers faced each other in battle.
Lion: But when these two lock in Original VS Follow-Up, something's bound to go down.
Blade: Red, the Champion of Kanto.
Lion: Calem, Kalos' finest boy himself.
Blade: I'm Blade, and he's Red Lion. And it's our job to analyze their weapon, armor and skills to find out who would win, a DEATH BATTLE.
Red[]
(Cue Red's Theme:- Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver)
Blade: In 1996, an 11-ish kid walked down his stairs, unaware about what was awaiting him under.
Lion: With a tearful face his mom told him to go, and start his adventure, which the boy did willingly.
Blade: This boy's name was Red, and he entered the lab of Professor Oak, finding his rival Blue.
Lion: Red doesn't like Blue, so he left to the first route, where he ran into Oak, who went all Zelda Old Man on him and handed him a Pokédex and a Charmander to kill Gym Leaders.
Blade: And so this silent eleven year old boy set off to be the very best, like no one ever was.
Pikachu[]
Lion: You got an average joe looking for some average Pokémon, Viridian Forest's your place.
Blade: This was when Red met his level 88 Pikachu! Electric Mouse Pokémon and-
Lion: Can I rip this thing limb from limb?
Blade: Uhh, are you okay there?
Lion: Nah, just looks fun for a victim.
Blade: O...kay. Anyways, you slap a Light Ball on Pikachu, and bam, he's got a PikaSteroid. With the moves Volt Tackle, Iron Tail, Quick Attack and Thunderbolt, this little yellow rat can pack quite a punch.
Lion: Volt Tackle does recoil, Quick Attack gets priority, Thunderbolt stuns and Iron Tail lowers defenses.
Blade: Pikachu's a fast asset with only a weakness to Ground. His resistances are Electric, Flying and Steel, and he's got impressive attack and special attack. Pikachu's fast, but can't take a hit all too well, so watch out for when he decides to give an opening.
Venusaur[]
Lion: Next up we have the leaf Dino himself, Venusaur, the level 84 giant plant-thing!
Blade: Venusaur are gentle, but Red's is anything but so.
Lion: With Sleep Powder, Giga Drain, Sludge Bomb and Frenzy Plant Venusaur can pose unimaginable horrors to his opponents.
Blade: With Giga Drain he can drain his opponent's health. Sleep Powder says gudnight to his opponents, Sludge Bomb poisons his foes, and Frenzy Plant does extreme damage, which gives Venusaur some serious recoil.
Lion: Venusaur's bulk alone can pose his opponents a threat. His offenses aren't a joke, and while a bit on the slow side and weak to Flying, Psychic, Fire and Ice, takes kindly to Grass, Water, Fighting and Fairy.
Blastoise[]
Blade: Blastoise, the level 84 giant blue turtle- oh wait he's only five-foot three.
Lion: This turtle's cannons can cut through raw STEEL, motherfucker! Aside from that, Blastoise has Hydro Cannon, which gets 150 power! Also a recharge turn though.
Blade: Flash Cannon lowers his opponents' Special Defense, and Focus Blast does the same. And then he has Blizzard, an attack that freezes his opponents solid.
Lion: Bulky, strong, yet slow and sturdy, Blastoise's the exact opposite of what you'd wanna mess with when he's pissed. Weak to only Electric and Grass, Blastoise easily tanks Fire, Steel, Ice and Water.
Snorlax[]
Blade: The fattest motherfucking bastard ever to sleep on a road was an easy catch for Red and his Level 34 Charmeleon-
Lion: You're only saying that because we played through the game-
Blade: Shut up. Anyway, Snorlax's level 80, and has Shadow Ball to lower his opponents' Special Defense, Crunch to lower Defense, Blizzard to ice, and Giga Impact to destroy. He doesn't take kindly to Fighting attacks, but with an HP and Attack like that, few can stand up to him.
Lapras[]
Lion: Afterwards, Red entered a company with a bunch of shotguns to assassinate Giovanni. He shot a bunch of Team Rocket Grunts before entering a room and facing Arsebitch. Then he got a Lapras!
Red holding up a Lapras in the way of Link.
Blade: Lapras' level 80, knows Blizzard, to damage them Garchomps and Flygons, Brine, to kill low HP opponents, Psychic to lower opposing Special Defenses and Body Slam to stun them.
Lion: Lapras tanks all Grass, Thunder, Rocks, and fists badly, but with his Defenses and offenses, this slow badass survives all. Also Water and Ice can't do anything to him.
Charizard[]
Blade: Lion, remember when you mentioned Red's Charmander?
Lion: Yeah?
Blade: Well guess what, this thing eventually evolved into a level 84 dragon-
Lion: Everybody likes lizards, eh?
Blade: Dragon Pulse does regular damage, Blast Burn does what Frenzy Plant, Giga Impact and Hydro Cannon do, and Air Slash flinches his opponent.
Lion: But guess what? This badass motherfucker can also use Flare Blitz, which burns all his foes to hell, while doing some damage to him. But when he Mega Evolves is where the real fun begins. He gives a "Go Fuck Yourself" to the Stealth Rocks and turns into a Dragon. Tough Claws turns Flare Blitz into a fuckin' BEAST, and with that dragon type, Water don't do much! Ground and Rock and Dragon hurt, but the fires of a tough ass Mega Charizard can tank more than usual.
Blade: And finally there's Red, the boy himself. He pushed himself on, becoming Champion, before climbing up a mountain and...standing there. For 3 years. Well, uh...
Lion: He stood there lonely, cold, and starving. Maybe he killed wild Pokemon- I'm an asshat, ignore me. He knows what to do, and has soul-crushing AI, but then... Gold beat him. Regardless, he's among the best in the world, and his raw power keeps him alive to this day.
Gold reaches the top, entering the peak.
"................ ..............."
You are challenged by PKMN Trainer Red!
PKMN Trainer Red sent out PIKACHU!
Calem[]
(Cue VS Calem:- Pokémon X and Y)
Blade: Calem is a-
Lion: Random generic dude that wants to be cool! He picks the worst starter-
Blade: Shut up, at least he doesn't wanna get bitten by a Feraligatr.
Lion: I told you, I'd get Feraligatr powers and be Feraligatr Boy!
Blade: Whatever. Story being, Calem picks Chespin, before setting off on a journey with his friends in Kalos. Pretty basic adventure, but there's more.
Chesnaught[]
Lion: Chesnaught, the level 70 Spiky Armor Pokémon and evolution to Chespin and his previous form Quiladin was the starter Calem picked in Aquacorde! This thing may only know three moves when he battles the player in Kiloude, Wood Hammer ain't no joke! The damage hurts Chesnaught too!
Blade: Body Slam can stun his opponents, and Brick Break shatters barriers. Chesnaught's sluggish, but strong and durable, yet never goes down to Grass, Rock, Water or Dark moves. While Flying, Fire, Poison, Fairy, Ice and Psychic are major threats to him, Chesnaught doesn't let up.
Meowstic[]
Lion: Meowstic is Calem's lead Pokémon, level 66 and always reliable to throw Shadow Balls and lead with a move that straight up scumbag flinches his opponents every time!
Blade: Both Psychic and Shadow Ball lower his opponent's Special Defense, but Disarming Voice does different. While weak to Ghost, Dark and Bug, Meowstic's a champ for Psychic and Fighting attacks. All around balanced, Meowstic's a decent Pokémon to get the job done in any battle.
Vaporeon[]
Lion: The level 66 Water Type, Vaporeon, and the evolution of Eevee! This thing's a fast bastard with Hydro Pump, Aurora Beam, and Quick Attack. Hydro Pump does normal damage, Quick Attack always goes first and Aurora Beam lowers Attack.
Blade: Vaporeon's got balanced stats, with resistances to Steel, Ice, Fire and Water. While weak to Grass and Electric, Calem's Vaporeon is among the strongest Eeveelutions, so watch out.
Clefable[]
Lion: Clefable, the level 68 bulky fukin' BEAST! Moonblast, to lower his opponent's Special Attack! Meteor Mash, and Sing to say gudnight! And Focus Blast, for good measure on them Special Defensive walls!
Blade: Bulk, and Special Attack are Clefable's specialty. Weak to steel and Poison, and resistant to Fighting, Bug and Dark, and immune to Dragon, Clefable, you can't mess with. At all.
Altaria[]
Lion: The level 67 pussy dragon bird, Altaria! Dragon Pulse, Dazzling Gleam and Confide! Dragon Pulse and Dazzling Gleam are there for lowering opposing HP, and Confide for Special Attack!
Blade: Specially offensive, and fast, Altaria can get the job done when not opposed to Ice, Rock, Fairy or Dragon. At least there's that sweet Ground immunity and resistance to Bug, Grass, Fire, Water and Fighting.
Absol[]
Lion: And Absol, Calem's level 68 pride and joy! Fast, with Quick Attack for a speedblitz, Swords Dance for a boost in Attack, Night Slash and Slash, for critical hits, topped with an Absolite for Mega Evolution!
Blade: Weak to Fighting, Fairy and Bug, but resistant to Dark, Ghost and packing a Psychic Immunity, Absol isn't one to be messed with. One version of him has gone as far as to win the league, defeat Team Flare and get all 8 Gym Badges. On the other hand...
Lion: Another is puny, badgeless and anything BUT tough! Don't underestimate Calem anyway! He's a tough-ass cookie!
Calem: En Garde!
Pre-Death Battle[]
(Cue Invader:- Jim Johnston)
Blade: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Lion: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Death Battle[]
(Cue PWT:- Pokémon Black and White 2)
The finals were beginning. The entire Pokémon World Tournament was watching in anticipation. One one end, a boy in red walked out, followed by loud yells and cheers from his end. The announcer said:-
"And here he is folks, the Champion of Kanto himself, RED!!!!"
More cheering.
On the other end, a boy with long hair walked out with a ball in hand. He wore a red hat with sunglasses on top. This was Calem. Cheers followed him as he winked at the stands. He met Red there and they locked eyes.
"Calem, the fine boy from the Kalos Region enters the ring!"
"Hey there! Nice to meet you! I'm Calem!"
"Pleasure's all mine, I'm Red."
Red smirked.
"This battle better be fun!" Both said, pulling out their Pokéballs as the stage turned to grass.
FINAL ROUND!
Red .VS. Calem!
FIGHT!
(Cue Battle! PWT Finals! Pokémon Black 2 and White 2)
"Let's roll, Pikachu!" Red said, throwing forward a Pokéball. Pikachu burst out from the ball before electrocuting itself. With a smug grin, Calem threw open the ball containing his Meowstic.
"Fake-"
"Quick Attack!"
Before Meowstic could attack, Pikachu disappeared, before smashing into Meowstic. The Psychic type regained focus, before using its eyes to watch Pikachu's moves.
"Thunderbolt!" Red ordered, and Pikachu jumped upwards, Discharging a giant bolt upon Meowstic, who casually dodged the attack.
"Give 'em an extra-special Psychic!"
Floating in midair, Meowstic's eyes opened wide, before glowing cyan. Pikachu held his ears, resisting the attack,but was sent flying backwards.
Meowstic's Psychic intensified, as Red looked at Pikachu. He snapped his fingers to let the Mouse Pokémon acknowledge him.
"Volt Tackle!"
Pikachu charged up in a ball of electricity, before smashing into Meowstic. The Psychic type flew upwards, but wasn't quite dead yet.
"Thunderbolt!" Red commanded, as Pikachu released a shockwave, stunning Meowstic. The Psychic fell down, Pikachu swooping downwards at it.
"Now! Shadow Ball!"
Meowstic raised a single arm, creating a Shadow Ball. Pikachu gasped, but was too late. The Shadow Ball exploded, leaving nothing but a single strand of yellow electric fur.
"Uh-oh. This can't be good..." Red thought, before pulling out a Pokéball. He clutched the ball tighter, before unleashing Snorlax.
"A Snorlax? Nothing we can't handle!!!!" Calem grinned. "Meowstic, Disarming Voice!"
"Quick, Crunch!" Red ordered, and Snorlax ran right through the Disarming Voice, before snapping his jaws shut on Meowstic. The Psychic type purred in agony, before collapsing to the ground, headless.
"Oh no... Go! Clefable!" Was Calem's next choice of words before Clefable burst out. Clefable metronomed, before facing Snorlax.
"Blizzard!" Red ordered, and Snorlax howled, sending a freezing blizzard flying at Clefable, freezing him.
"Clefable!" Calem yelled!
"Giga Impact!"
Snorlax rammed into the ice block, before stopping right in front of it, sitting down for a rest. Clefable didn't unfreeze, and would die from one more attack.
Snorlax must recharge!
... ...
... ...
... ...
"Crunch!", commanded the voice of Red. Snorlax grabbed the ice block, throwing it upwards, before crushing it full on with his mouth. Some blood poured from his jaw, before he faced Calem.
"Oh dear, this isn't good..." Thought Calem, staring at Snorlax. He pulled out his Altaria, before tossing the ball forward.
"Altaria, let's go!"
(Cue Calem Battle Theme:- Pokémon X and Y)
"Dragon Pulse!" Calem bellowed, as Altaria swooped upwards, screeching and blasting Snorlax left and right. Altaria proceeds to fire a blast into Snorlax's belly, which Snorlax tanks.
"Counter 'em with Blizzard!", ordered Red. Snorlax howled, causing a snowy gust of wind to blast toward Altaria, causing the Dragon-Type to fly backwards, flapping its wings and screeching.
"Dragon Pulse," Shouted Calem, and Altaria burst upwards, howling and launching a giant blast at Snorlax, causing a hole to rip through its chest, before raging through its head, cleanly disintegrating most of its body. Snorlax dropped to the ground. Red frowned, before grabbing a ball from his belt. It was time to get serious.
"Time for a sweep! Lapras, lets roll!"
The ball literally rolled in midair before opening to reveal Lapras, who craned his neck, before snorting out frost.
"Come on, onslaught them with Blizzard!"
"Altaria, dodge everything!"
Lapras blasted freezing winds everywhere, causing the entire screen to go white, clearing off to show that the grass was frozen over. Altaria, exhausted, landed on the frozen branch nearby, unable to find a better spot in the land of snow created.
"Now's our chance, quick, Altaria, use Confide!"
Bursting upwards, Altaria screeched, causing Lapras to recoil. Red stepped backwards, before snapping his fingers.
"Body Slam!"
Lapras jumped upwards, crashing down onto the floor, causing shattered ice to fly everywhere, stabbing into Altaria's coat.
Red shoved his hands in his pocket, as Lapras used another Body Slam, causing the stage to return to normal, before using Brine to send Altaria flying. Drenched, the Dragon Type screeched loudly.
"Oh no... Hurry, try another Dragon Pulse!"
Growling, Altaria screamed, letting loose a giant purple aura, engulfing Lapras. Calem smirked, as Altaria used Dazzling Gleam, which caused Lapras to twirl his head around in the brightness, only for Altaria to swoop down and unleash a point-blank Dragon Pulse, destroying Lapras' head. Tired, Altaria dropped to the ground, barely conscious from the ice.
(Cue VS Lance/Red:- Pokémon Black 2 and White 2)
Red cursed under his breath. He drew a Pokéball, before hurling it forward.
"Blastoise, I'm counting on you!"
A giant turtle burst from the ball, spinning in midair as he burst from the shell. He snarled.
"Blizzard!"
"Altaria, dodge!"
As Altaria jumped, Blastoise's cannons shot out two separate snowstorms, one at the ground, making an icy rink, and the other froze solid the bird. Red smirked, before snapping his fingers.
"Finish it with Hydro Cannon."
Blastoise shouldered forward a cannon, before firing full-force. The block was crushed, ended as the Shellfish roared in victory. Calem frowned.
"Go, Chesknaught!"
A giant dinosaur-like chipmunk burst out from the ball, known as Chesnaught. Growling, Chesnaught began stomping on the ground.
"Wood Hammer," Calem shouted. Chesnaught burst forward and repeatedly swung its arm at Blastoise, but Red wasn't done yet.
"Blizzard!"
Blastoise spat an ice-cold wind at Chesnaught, just as the spiny armor released him. His spiked arms were bloody, and Blastoise dropped to the ground, bleeding.
"Rnnngh... This isn't good at all... Venusaur, end this quick!"
Venusaur burst from his ball, as Red ordered him swiftly.
"Quick, barrage 'em with Sludge Bomb!"
Giant purple heaps burst from Venusaur's flower bulb and landed on Chesknaught, poisoning the Spiny Armor. Drenched in poison, Chesnaught began thrashing around, as Red delivered another order.
"Hurry up and use Sleep Powder!"
Venusaur charged up, undoubtedly about to fire, but the thrashing Chesnaught's claws met Venusaur's face. The spores had no effect, and Venusaur dropped dead.
"Venusaur!"
Red needed to end this now. He pulled out the ball containing his strongest member. He hoped with all his might, to be able to win this.
"I'm counting on you... ...Charizard!"
A great orange beast burst from his ball. His fiery tail thrashing, his majestic wings flapping, and his mouth? Roaring.
This was Charizard, Red's starter, and he would sweep this for Red at all costs.
"Chesnaught, get out of there!"
"Air Slash!"
Thrashing on, Chesnaught was sent flying by an Air Slash. He crashed into the wall, and as the smoke cleared off, shiny blood was dripping from his chest.
Charizard roared, victorious. Calem frowned, pulling out his last ball.
"Absol, please win!"
(Cue Red VS Blue:- Pokémon Origins)
Absol burst from his ball, howling. Calem touched the Mega Ring on his arm, and, in an instant, a shiny purple ball encased Absol, cracking apart, revealing one blood-red eye.
Mega Absol was in the ring.
"Swords Dance!"
"Dragon Pulse!"
Charizard blasted a Dragon Pulse at Absol, who survived, before spinning his horn dangerously. Red frowned.
"We need to finish this quick, Charizard! Blast Burn!"
As Red ordered, snapping his fingers, a flaming vortex arose under Absol, before engulfing him. A huge explosion, but...
"Swords Dance!"
Another spin. Red grimaced.
"Red's Charizard just unleashed its trump card, folks!"
""Swords Dance!"
Absol howled, maximized. Smirking, Calem ordered his Absol for one last attack.
"Quick Attack!"
Absol dashed at Charizard, sending him flying into the wall.
Calem swung his hand to his side.
"Night Slash!"
Absol spun his head, before launching a dark ring at Charizard. Spinning like a boomerang, the slash went right into Charizard. The wall exploded, as blood showered Absol. Charizard smashed into the ground, atop Red. The battle was over.
KO-
The smoke cleared off, as Red stood there, a hand balanced on a black dragon. Burning blue fire was on his mouth. His tail gave a whole new meaning to blue-hot. Bigger wings, and far more muscular than his un-Mega Evolved form, Charizard had Mega Evolved and with a roar, caused an echo to boom across the stage. Red snapped his fingers.
"Mega Evolution! Air Slash!"
Charizard burst upwards.
"Night Sla-"
Absol flinched from the blast from Charizard. The dragon circled the stage, spitting fireballs as Absol ran, getting struck by each and losing HP every time. Absol jumped upwards, but Charizard smacked him down with his tail, causing Absol to crash into the ground, yelping in pain. Charizard roared, before jetting downwards, encased in a cone of blue fire.
"Flare Blitz!" Red ordered, as Charizard swooped down.
"NO!"
Calem jumped aside to stop Absol taking the attack.
"Wait, get away from there-"
BLAM!
Burning fire surrounded the stage. As Red wiped ashes from his face, he searched around, before spotting a draconian figure ahead of him. Charizard roared, before swooping to his trainer's side. The smoke started to clear off slowly...
Calem dropped to the ground, burning. Absol looked at Calem, sniffing for any signs of life. As a tear dripped down his eye, he collapsed unconscious. Red lowered his hat, as Charizard reverted to normal, staring at Red. The boy walked up to the podium, grabbing his prize. Sometimes, only one trainer walked out alive.
KO!
Absol is carried away on a stretcher as Red takes off his hat, before leaving, hopping on Charizard and swooping off back to Mt. Silver.
Results[]
(Cue Pokémon League Theme: Pokémon Red and Blue)
Lion: Blade... You know... I take back what I said about you being a Kratos. You're a sadist.
Blade: Err... I thought you weren't a nice person yourself... Anyway, Red's Pokémon, were far beyond anything Calem had on his team.
Lion: Sure, Calem's experienced on his own, but Red's raw sheer power and FUCKING feats were utter godly when compared to Calem's... levels, stats or anything really, Calem was outclassed.
Blade: Red may not know of any Gen 6 Pokémon, but by moves he can tell types, and his overall experience could easily give him the better deal.
Lion: Red's Charizard traded blows with a Mewtwo, and is easily FAR stronger than Calem's team overall. Red's lowest level is 10 levels above Calem's strongest. I guess Calem's chances of victory were X'd out. Because he was ABSOLutely screwed in this battle. Red's Pokémon could easily blitz his to oblivion. Bye bye Calem, you're FireRed.
Blade: ...We really need more quality on the puns. The winner is Red.