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Death battle 11

Summary[]

This is a what-if death battle by Aqua-pineapple-princess featuring Ran Mao from the black butler series and the Serpent from the detentionaire series

Interlude[]

Boomstick: The genirc lazy rich creeps always have someone to do crap for them…usually involving assassinating or entertainment

Wiz: Like Ran-mao, the personal assassin of Master Lau

Boomstick: and Li ping otherwise known as the Serpent. He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick

Wiz: and it’s our job to analyse their strengths, armour and skills to see who would win a death battle

Rules[]

  • This battle will be situated at the Hydra casino
  • The serpent is allowed to use Priscilla
  • If you are hungry, you can go buy a cheeseburger ^-^

Ran Mao[]

Wiz: Lan-mao is…

Boomstick: WAIT her name’s Ran-Mao wiz, not Lan-mao. Ha and they call you the clever one!

Wiz: her name is actually Lan Mao, you see Japanese people have difficulty of pronouncing the ‘l’ sounds so they replace it with an ‘r’ sound. But the dubbers got lazy so they decided to make it simple and keep her name constant.

Boomstick: Yeah but they call her that in the dub!

Wiz: I suppose you’re right (sigh) I guess you proved that you’re cleverer than me

Boomstick: In your face, Singer! Ahem, regardless of her name, ran mao is one the match with the fire ninja. No seriously! Look at those things! They would even match the boob queen herself! No wonder why she’s his ‘cat’

Sebastian sees Lan-mao moving her body side to side on Lau’s thigh, who is laughing at this.

Sebastian: No flirting

Wiz: Ran mao possesses great strength as she is able to lift her both of her chuis or meteor hammers, in each hand. Her Chuis each are made of a sturdy metal, which is as strong as titanium. With speed and strength, Ran Mao can dent a pavement with her deadly weapons.

Boomstick: Mao’s chuis are able to smash people’s skulls and she really doesn’t hesitate. So the last thing you’d probably see after you mess with master Lau, is a teenager with big boobies and giant hammers.

Lau: but I must strike some fear into the hearts of the naughty little mice who made a mess in my garden in the East end, that’s why I keep this cat

(ran mao smashes her chui on the pavement, which cracks it)

Lau: Meow!

Mina: Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Harrry: we won’t do it…

Ran mao swings her chuis

Wiz: enough with the jokes! She is also capable of acrobatic movements which can be used for offensive and defensive manoeuvres. She can fend many people away without the needs for her chuis.

(cues the scene where Ran Mao is defending herself and Lau from the possessed guests at Alois’ party)

Boomstick: Ran has the capabilities to take on Sebastian Michalis. The infamous black butler, known for his exploits like stopping a train (which superman did), ran on water (which ponyo did), can jump from buildings to buildings with ease (which Spiderman did) and,  my personal favourite, is able to straight off reject fan-girls.

Grell: Oh sebas-chan! Carry me in your arms, embrace…

(Sebastian steps on Grell’s face)

Sebastian: excuse me

Grell: Wait! Sebas-chan!

Boomstick: or fanboys, in Sutcliffe’s case

Wiz: Despite her cold exterior, Ran Mao can get cocky and continue on fighting, even if she can’t win.

Ran mao falls to ground with a bloody lip, Sebastian walks up to her.

Sebastian: For a small body, you possesses immense strength. Let’s put this battle to a draw and you can still walk away from this.

Ran mao wipes her lip: No, no end!

Boomstick: Ran mao can rush into things and obey Lau’s commands flawlessly, even if it’s kind of bullsh*t. As well as her obedience, she acts like a pampered child and always wants attention. Lucky for her, I’m glad to give all the attention she wants.

Wiz: Ran Mao may be one of the most deadly mortals in the black butler franchise, but will this Asian assassin be able to hold her own against the Serpent?

Ciel and Sebastian arrive at the dock and it is quiet. Out of nowhere a chui came crashing down and nearly hit Ciel. Ran mao walked up slowly, whilst shaking her hips and wielding her chuis.

Ran mao: you’re my master’s enemy, you die…

The Serpent[]

Wiz: It was 1992 in Korea where Sue and Alfred Ping had a baby son, Li ping.

Boomstick: Too bad Cassandra McAdams (AKA b*tchy McAdams) stole the little baby from them. During Ping’s childhood, McAdams taught him the basics of hand-to-hand combat. He can deliver painful blows to the head and the waist. He can also snap necks with ease.

(Cues the scene where the Serpent snaps one of the hazmat’s neck)

Wiz: After McAdams’ training, Li was earned his codename…the serpent!

Boomstick: McAdams taught the serpent and made him a jack-of-all-trades type of assassin. His reflexes and agilities are superhuman, able to defeat the experienced blue tazlewurms, who have been guarding a stupid pyramid

Wiz: The serpent has a knife used for cutting and sometimes stabbing and the strength to defeat someone as muscular and as tenacious Biffy goldestein, who is muscly like…

Boomstick: I knew we should’ve used Biffy instead of Clarisse!

Aqua: Shut up! Clarisse makes more sense to fight Cato!

Wiz: The serpent can plan ahead, even if his previous plan fails, he can improvise with ease. He also can manipulate others to do what he wants and like his brother, is a master of stealth.

Boomstick: The serpent has a freaky pet snake, Pricilla, who is a boa constrictor.

Wiz: Pricilla is around 5 feet long and is mostly used for the more difficult task, as a constrictor, she can wrap her body around her opponents and squeeze them until there is no oxygen in the victim.

Boomstick: the serpent can get cocky and usually underestimate his opponents, causing him to become weaker and boast about his abilities. He’s also allergic to fish. The reaction makes him significantly weaker with his swollen skin and his eyesight will weaken.

Wiz: Li Ping is a tenacious and manipulative foe that Lee Ping has ever faced, will Ran Mao triumpth or will she get bitten by the serpent.

The serpent: so nice to see the family again.

He kicks open the door and drags Alfred Ping after him

Lee: NO!

Pre-death battle[]

Wiz: Ok the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all

Boomstick: It's time for a death battle!

Death battle []

On the top level of the Hydra casino, Prince Soma and Angi stood next to the couch where Master Lau was smoking on his cigarette like usual with Ranmao on his lap whilst Cassandra and the Serpent stood opposite of them. Cassandra, feeling very disturbed with Ranmao’s presence, cleared her throat.

Cassandra: May we discuss our business?

Master Lau nodded his head and Ran Mao seated next to him on the ground with her legs crossed.

Cassandra: your friend, Ciel Phamtomhive sent an assassination job and…

Cassandra sighed in disgust when she saw Ran mao seductively moving her body side, like a seaweed, on Lau’s lap.

Ran Mao: wakame (wakame is a type of edible seaweed)

Cassandra: can you please tell your sl…I mean your sister to please stop doing that?

Master Lau strokes Ran Mao’s cheek but in response to McAdams’ demand, the young girl shook her head in response.

Master Lau: I apologise Miss McAdams but Ran Mao doesn’t like when I don’t pay attention to her.

Cassandra: THEN GET ANGI OR SOMA TO ENTERTAIN HER!

Soma: I apologise but Angi acts upon my orders

Cassandra: grr! I’ve had enough of that girl!*snaps her fingers* eliminate these fools

The serpent nodded his head and he threw his knife in Lau’s direction. A hammer collided with the knife. The serpent gritted his as Ran mao calmly taunted him by tipping her head to one side.

The serpent: Let’s play a game, shall we little girl?

Ran Mao: You tried to hurt my master, you die

Priscilla curled around the serpant’s arm and hung around his neck, Ran Mao swung her chuis twice and positioned herself in a fighting stance

FIGHT!

The serpant lunged at Ran Mao with his knife drawn but she back flipped. Priscilla hissed at her with disgust.

Ran Mao: that snake is scary

The serpent let Priscilla lunge at Ran Mao and constricted the girl. She struggled as the constrictor began squeezing tighter and tighter. The serpent ran over to stab Ran Mao, but the female assassin rolled over, causing him to stab Priscilla. As the Serpent was distracted with the death of his snake Ran Mao kicked him in the face and ran away.

The serpent: Come back here you b*tch!

Ran Mao slid down the banister of the long stairwell case whilst the serpent who was completely incapable of doing that ran down the stairs. The girl managed to reach the bottom and she started doing what she did in the Hamlet play.

Ran Mao:  Wakame, suki suki! (translation: wakame, like it, like it, like it [bear in mind ranmao’s Japanese isn’t good])

The serpent growled and jumped kicked Ran Mao in the abdomen. She lost one of her schuis and the serpent picked it up. Ran Mao recovered and wielded her remaining weapon with both hands, whilst the serpent held it with one.

The serpent: My, you’re as delicate as a lily yet you can wield such a heavy weapon

Ran Mao: enough, let’s fight.

 Many of the bystanders watched as the serpent swung his chui in front of him as Ran Mao kept the pattern of ducking, jumping and striking.

Ran Mao: duck, duck jump, strike. duck, duck jump, strike.

The serpent smirked in confidence as he managed to get the girl cornered. He lifted his chui with no mercy. Ran Mao studied his legs and swung her foot to trip him over. She flipped over him and snatched her other chui from the serpent.

The serpent recovered and started chasing her, Ran Mao ran into the crowd of dense gamblers and the Korean teen cursed. He then pulled out a few scam lottery tickets. He threw them at the left hand side. A frenzy occurred, making it more difficult for Ran Mao to evade the mesh of people. The serpent noticed her noticeable clothes and pinned her down. She struggled under his weight as he drew his knife.

The serpent: Tsk, tsk little kitten. You shouldn’t stray. Or the big serpent will attack! Say your prayers bit…

Ran Mao kicked his crotch and wriggled out of his grasp, she fled to the storage room, where many supplies awaited for them. The serpent climbed in one of the vents and crawled to the storage room.

Meanwhile…

Ran Mao hide behind one of the large shipping containers to catch her breath. The serpent made a loud entrance by kicking the vent cover and landing on the ground.

The serpent: Let’s play a game shall we? Cat and Mouse, but this time I’m the cat and you’re the mouse.

Ran Mao quietly took off…unexpectedly she tripped over a fallen fish from the shipping container and the serpent saw her. She noticed that he was hesitant at the fish. In experiment, she threw the fish at Li Ping, who dodged it. Ran Mao then released his flaw. She began running towards the direction of the shipping crate full of fish and climbed up. She saw the serpent who was glaring at her. Ran Mao flipped in the centre of the fish and began moving her hips side to side like a seaweed.

Ran Mao: You are a coward, you are a coward.

The serpent growled and he jumped on the sides of the shipping container. He whipped out his knife and threw it at Ran Mao. She deflected it with her chuis and dived in the container. The serpent balanced carefully…waiting for Ran Mao to strike until…she lunged out and tried to drag him in the fish container. The serpent yanked Ran Mao out by the arm but got fish-slapped in the face. Li Ping gasped as his hands and face began swelling. Ran Mao pushed him in and he was stuck in the trap of the fish.

The Sepernt: No, have mercy

Ran Mao: You tried to hurt my master…

She then swiftly whipped out her chuis and swung them at two different directions aiming at his head.

Ran Mao: you die now

KO!                     

Ran Mao calmly walked back with a bit of blood on her forehead. She sat on Lau’s lap, who casually wiped off the blood. Cassandra gritted her teeth at disgust of the loss of her assassin.

Cassandra: you’ll pay for this!

Lau: My my, Mrs McAdams, you seem pretty enraged but since you have no assassin. Then I guess we can leave.

Death battle anaylsis[]

Boomstick: Wohoo! The cat won, and all thanks to the fish!

Wiz: the serpent’s main weakness of his allergy of fish let him down. As well as that sudden crotch kick from Ran Mao, which was due to him being distracted

Boomstick: Ping’s arrogance also got the most of him when he was relying on Priscilla and sadly the death of the boa constrictor.

Wiz: Bear in mind the force that Ran Mao utilised was equal to the force of cracking the pavement. So therefore the serpent’s skull couldn’t withstand the power.

Boomstick: Looks like the serpent cracked under pressure

Aqua: dude that sucked

Wiz: (sigh) the winner is Ran Mao

Next time on death battles[]

Boomstick: Next time on death battles

Anonymous character 1: So, if there are no wars to fight, then why are we here? 

Anonymous character 2: I just keep thinking…a way to show that they don’t own me.

Guys guess what?! I’m back to book characters yay!

Trivia[]

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