Rajang vs Donkey Kong[]
Description[]
Nintendo vs Monster Hunter! These 2 ultra-strong apes are known for their absolutely ridiculous power, but who would win in a fight to the death?
Interlude[]
Wiz: The Gorilla is a creature that represents strength, and has inspired many ape characters with overwhelming power. Today, 2 of the most powerful apes fight to the death.
Rajang, Monster Hunter's Destruction Incarnate.
Boomstick: And Donkey Kong, Nintendo's banana-hording powerhouse.
Wiz: I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Rajang[]
Wiz:The World of Monster Hunter is home to myriad creatures, ranging from realistic to fantastical, weak to ridiculously powerful. These monsters inhabit almost every extreme and niche imaginable, and live in a constant war for survival.
But there is a monster among the select few who roams the entire world as his stage, and this war for survival poses no challenge...
Boomstick: And almost everything, be it monster or human, knows damn well NEVER to piss him off...
*Rajang's roar is heard*
Monster Hunter World Iceborne: Theme of Rajang
*several shots are seen of Rajang rampaging and ending with the shot from Iceborne of him standing and roaring after ripping off a Kirin's horn*
Wiz:The Rajang, Destruction Incarnate. A beast so aggressive and violent, he will attack any creature he sees on sight, be it a monster or a Hunter.
Boomstick:I mean, what's got him so pissed all the time!? It's like he's constantly stepping on Legos!
Background:
Species Name:Rajang
Genus:Fanged Beast
Height/Length:7-16 meters
Weight: Around 1-2 metric tonnes
Age:Unknown
Known for chasing after Kirin for their horns
Wiz:The Rajang is an interesting creature. Despite not being an Elder Dragon, which are creatures that are far removed from the known tree of life, and are basically living cataclysms that are the closest thing in Monster Hunter to a god, he's easily as powerful as some Elders...and even preys on one, the Kirin-
Boomstick:Which is a unicorn that summons thunderstorms!
Wiz:...and Kirin's thunderstorms are large enough to cover the Coral Highlands. The energy required to create one the size Kirin does would require at least 439 Megatons of TNT!
Boomstick:And Kirin's strength and durability scale to its thunderstorms! And Rajang straight up RIPS OFF ITS HORN! This is just a casual Rajang though, at full strength he can keep up with Deviljho, who's comparable to much stronger Elders like Teostra and Kushala Daora!
Wiz:A Kushala Daora once dispersed a large snowstorm just by flapping its wings. By calculating the size of the storm as well as how long it took to disperse, this feat is worth 5.4 GIGATONS of TNT, enough to wipe an island off the map, and over 100 times more than the Tsar Bomba, the most powerful weapon ever used!
*music fades*
Boomstick:And you're telling me there are countless thousands of these island busters just, roaming around the place?
Devil May Cry: Blade Battle Theme
Wiz:It would seem so in spite of how rarely the're seen in the wild. They eat primarily meat, unlike real apes which are ussually herbivores, and hunt Kirin to eat their horns. In fact, when a Rajang reaches adulthood, it goes on a journey to hunt its first Kirin and eat its horn as a kind of coming of age ritual.
Rajang are faster than Kirin, which are at least as fast as their own lightning, making him over 300 times faster than sound!
Rajang also have an Enraged state, just like most monsters, in which his fur stands on end and becomes golden. He also becomes much stronger and faster during it, and his lighting attacks are amplified.
Boomstick:Oh yeah, did I mention this is an APE THAT SHOOTS LIGHTING OUT OF HIS MOUTH!?
Wiz:And he can also enter a "Rampage" mode while Enraged, which makes his arms near indestructible and massively increases his punch power. However, hitting his tail enough while in this state will knock him out of it and exhaust him.
Boomstick:And that brings us to his weaknesses. Like any Monster in Monster Hunter, no matter how powerful or terrifying he is, he still has several big weaknesses that can be exploited by a smart Hunter, or anything fighting him.
Wiz:He is weak to Ice Element, and his arms are weak points outside of Rampage. Like most monsters, his head is his weakest point of all, and hitting it enough with blunt force will stun him.
Boomstick:But no matter how many weaknesses he has, you do NOT f*** with the Super Saiyan ape, Rajang.
*a shot from Iceborne of Rajang closing in on a downed Hunter and slamming and carting them with his fist is shown. An echoed version of his roar is heard and a sudden cut to black*
Donkey Kong[]
Wiz:Kong Isle is a distant land, far away from the Mushroom Kingdom. On it lives the descendant of the Red Plumber's original rival, Donkey Kong. This powerful ape...is also named Donkey Kong.
Background:
Name:Donkey Kong III
Species:Gorilla
Age:Unknown
Height:7"10
Weight:800lbs(according to DK64)
Grandson of the original Donkey Kong from the arcade game
One of the 7 Star Children
Boomstick:Donkey Kong loves bananas SO much, he's horded every single one on the island all for himself! Those have got to go bad sooner rather than later, right? Just sitting in a damp cave like that...
Wiz:Questionable food storage aside, these bananas are being regularly stolen, leading DK to go on a massive adventure just to get back his golden treasures. And fortunately for him, he's well equipped for whatever he may face.
Boomstick:DK is so ridiculously strong, he can create small earthquakes just by slapping the ground, or send his victims flying for miles with a single punch.
Wiz:And he's also insanely fast, he can punch so fast he ignites the hydrogen in the air, creating explosive punches. This would require punching speeds of over 24,000mph! He's also comparable in speed to Diddie and Dixie Kong, who can dodge lightning, so this isn't just combat speed.
Boomstick:He also carries his iconic Coconut Gun, which does exactly what it sounds like...and somehow, this log looking thing works as an actual gun.
He also carries around various barrels he can launch himself out of, grenades that look exactly like oranges, and the Bongos, which can damage anything nearby with powerful sound waves.
Wiz:DK also has the Strong Kong ability, which makes him Invincible temporarily, although it requires him to find a Donkey Barrel and have Crystal Coconuts to activate and maintain. DK has defeated several powerful foes, such as Tiki Tong and Ghastly Kong, without even using any of his weapons or powerups.
Boomstick:But his greatest feat of all comes at the end of DK Country Returns. After surviving an explosion that sent him INTO SPACE, he used a charged punch to KNOCK THE MOON TO EARTH, crushing Tiki Tong's tower and somehow not causing a Majora's Mask Apocalypse.
Wiz:By calculating the size of this Moon, which is about the size of DK Isle, it's apparent size from Earth, and the speed it fell, we can determine that this punch had a force of 7.6 Teratons of TNT!
Boomstick:And this probably isn't even his limit! He scales to Mario and can keep up with him, and Mario can damage Bowser. And Bowser has survived supernovae an being inside a black hole! Just how strong is this ape!?
Wiz:Well, despite his overwhelming power, he's not very smart. He's shown to be able to be easily lured just by stealing his bananas, and seems to not get serious most of the time unless the're threatened.
Boomstick:But don't make the mistake of messing with this ape, because if you threaten his golden treasures, it'll probably be the last you ever make.
*A Shot of DK beating his chest in the ending of DK Country Returns is shown*
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz:Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the simulation through all possibilities. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick:It's time for a DEATH BATTLEEEEEE!
*Shutters saying DEATH BATTLE" slam shut and reopen into the fight*
Donkey Kong is seen near Jungle Japes, his home level. He's on yet another trek for bananas, when he hears thunder and sees a flash of light. Confused, he turns around to see what looks like a cross between a zebra and unicorn with a large mane, a Kirin.
Excited and mistakenly thinking it's a new Animal Buddy, he tries riding it. But after riding for a bit, he gets zapped and knocked off by another flash of light, like a huge Lazer of pure electricity. *music stop* The Kirin fllees.
DK gets up, more dazed than hurt, and looks for what might have done it. He spots the perpetrator, and he's quite strange, looking similar to a Kong but having a long muzzle and horns like an Ox, and a mane and tail similar to a lion's. He's almost twice DK's size, but far from the biggest ape he's fought. The creature roars at DK, and Donkey tries to call him out in the language of Kongs, which just sounds like ape sounds. The creature, Rajang, simply roars in pure rage that DK let his prey escape, and lunges to punch him.*music fades*
DK dodges this and begins pounding his chest, realizing this won't end peacefully.
DEATH BATTLE![]
FIGHT!
Monster Hunter World Iceborne: Theme of Rajang
Rajang roars and turns, doing a sweeping punch combo. Donkey Kong evades and jumps on Rajang's head several times, which seems to only anger him more. Jang leaps backwards into the air and fires a lightning shot at DK, which catches him off guard and hits him, knocking him over. DK responds by trying to get in close to punch him, but only ends up getting hit by his standing ground smash, and comboed by his spin attack and sweeping punch. DK keeps getting countered, this opponent shows levels of aggression and viciousness he's never seen before. He remembers that he brought his weapons for this trek, and tries using them.
Donkey Kong pulls out his Orange Grenades and bombs Rajang from a distance, which barely fazes the Fanged Beast. Then he pulls out the Coconut Gun and beans him with several shots to the head, once again barely fazing him. DK then tries closes in and doing a punch combo on Rajang, but gets countered again by the sweeping punches. Then he throws the rest of his Orange Grenades at him, which only seems to make him even angrier.
Rajang goes into his Enraged state, his fur turning golden and standing on end. DK is mesmerized by this, until he's blasted with a fully powered lightning beam and sent flying backwards. DK gets up and dodges the rest of the combo, except for the donkey kick which once again catches him off guard. Then Rajang tries to do his one-two slam, but DK pulls out the bongos and knocks him back with the shockwaves. Rajang jumps back and lightning shots him, hops towards him in a zig zag and then, cannonballs DK multiple times, and then he tries to use the Coconut Gun again-
But Rajang grabs it out of DK's hands and furiously smashes it to bits. DK gets angry that his CG was broken, and prepares a Giant Punch, clocking Jang right in the face with a fully charged hit as soon as he tries to do a leg trip, and actually staggering him for a second.
Rajang goes into his Rampage state as soon as he gets up, and does another lightning beam, this time DK dodges and counters with another Giant Punch to his arm, which is blocked by Rampage mode's hardness for the arms. Rajang grabs DK and tosses him, and then does a thunder-charged fist slam, which is so hard it causes tremors and shakes the surrounding trees. DK gets up and thunderclaps Rajang, knocking him back briefly, but more so just pissing him off more. Rajang does a flying punch at DK, sending him backwards a long distance. DK closes in and does his spinning palm combo, which only hurts his hands on Rajang's ultra-hardened arms. Rajang jumps into the air and cannonballs DK, followed with his spin attack and ultimate slam, which causes an earthquake and deals a colossal hit to DK. Rajang goes out of Rampage and Enrage.
DK takes a while to recover, and Rajang closes in and does his standing slam again, knocking back DK. DK jumps back to Jang and punches him several times while he's recovering from the slam. Rajang does his grounded lightning shot, then leg trips DK as soon as he tried to get in to attack again. Rajang then tries to do his slow close-in slam again, but DK gets up just in time and uses the Bongos, staggering him again and letting him Giant Punch him in the face, breaking one of his horns. Rajang recovers and immediately becomes Enraged again. He does a one-two slam on DK and then the sweeping punches, the second part is dodged and countered with another spinning palm attack. Rajang cannonballs multiple times and does the lightning beam, then runs over to a stone wall and rips a massive chunk out of it, then throwing it at DK while he's getting up, sending him flying back. Rajang goes into Rampage again, and DK realizes he needs to do something about this dangerous mode, and that's when he sees a Donkey Barrel close to him. Rajang tries to cannonball DK, but gets completely stopped when he hits him, and falls over.
Donkey Kong managed to activate Strong Kong, his invincibility powerup. He uses this to attack Rajang without getting hurt, tanking every hit effortlessly. and when Jang tries his ultimate slam, he stands there, trying to block it with his body. But much to his dismay, Strong Kong runs out right as the slam hits, and DK gets sent flying, smashing through several trees.
*music stop* DK's starting to actually get badly injured, and realizes he needs to go all out if he's going to win. He sees Rajang is tired out and beats his chest, making his iconic chest-beating sound.
DK Jungle Beat Final Boss Theme Phase 2
Donkey Kong dashes over to Rajang and does a punch so fast and so hard it ignites the hydrogen in the air, making the punch explode upon contact and staggering him. While he's staggered, DK does a whole flurry of these punches, dealing huge damage. Rajang does the leg trip again, but DK dodges. DK then does a Giant Punch so hard it instantly breaks Jang's other horn. He's knocked out of Rampage and Enrage and knocked over. DK goes around, grabs Rajang by the leg and spins him around before throwing him ultra hard, sending him flying for hundreds of feet. Rajang is stunned, having stars spinning over his head, and by the time he recovers, DK is already back. He tries to punch DK, only to be parried with a Giant Punch and hit with another flurry of explosive punches. Rajang recovers and does the cannonball combo, only to be dodged and brutally countered with a earthquake slap flurry right on top of his head. Rajang becomes Enraged again and does a lightning beam, one-two slam, sweeping punches, and donkey kick,hitting DK again, but the last countered by DK grabbing him by the tail and tossing him high into the air, then getting thunderclapped when he lands. Rajang goes into Rampage and does a cannonball and lightning shot, then spin attack, all dodged. Jang then does the boulder throw again, this time it flying much faster. DK simply Giant Punches it away, sending it flying far away. Rajang roars before preparing his ultimate slam, and DK prepares a fully charged Giant Punch in response. The attacks clash, creating a colossal Shockwave that obliterates all nearby trees and rocks, leaving a big Crater. Rajang takes a second to recover, even HIS arms hurting after having his ultimate attack blocked like that. DK waves his hand because of the pain it also caused him.
Rajang prepares to do another combo, but DK grabs his arm in the middle of his sweeping punch, and goes into almost an arm-wrestleing contest with the Gold Lion. He ends up overpowering Rajang and tossing him, leaving him knocked down, which lets DK do another explosive combo on Rajang's chest. Rajang gets back up, and goes out of Rampage and Enrage. He would be Limping now if he wasn't dead set on tearing DK limb from limb. He roars once more, only to get a mouthful of a Giant Punch in the middle of it. He cannonballs and does the lightning beam, then becomes Enraged and Rampage mode at the same time, ready to take this fight to the grave just at a chance to smash the face in of the ape that's in front of him. DK and Rajang both trade blows for a bit, before Rajang he does the ultimate slam...and it's dodged. DK grabs Rajang by the tail and spins him so hard and so fast, that his tail COMPLETELY RIPS OFF, and Rajang is sent flying at hypersonic speeds through a stone wall, creating an almost comical Rajang-shaped hole.
DK finds Rajang near his house standing upright and barely keeping his balance, being exhausted, stunned, and barely strong enough to stand. Donkey Kong prepares to send Rajang flying like he did with all the bosses in his later games.
DK does a flurry of punches and smacks, dozens in just a couple seconds, then finishes by doing a fully charged, full power Giant Punch, as strong as the one that knocked the Moon out of the sky in DKC Returns.
*music stop* Rajang's skull is completely shattered to bits, killing him instantly and sending him flying diagonally over the horizon.
K.O!
Conclusion[]
DK is seen beating his chest in victory, unaware of the fact he actully killed his foe.
Rajang's corpse lands in a grassy hills area of the Mushroom Kingdom, leaving a crater.
Boomstick:Well, that's one less potential ragequit for MH players.
Wiz:While Rajang was absurdly powerful and tough, so was Donkey Kong. DK's Moon feat, even if we lowball DK by not scaling him to Mario and highball Rajang by scaling him directly to Kushala Daora, is more impressive than Rajang's strength, which he relied on being at least somewhat similar to his opponent's, lest he use up all his stamina before he overpowers them. Rajang highballed against a lowballed DK arguably has superior speed, but DK has much better hax to make up for it.
Boomstick:DK's Bongos and Coconut Gun give him an easy and spammable way to stagger or even stun Rajang, and Strong Kong, while it could probably be used only once, straight up makes him temporarily invincible!
Wiz:And while DK isn't exactly the brightest bulb, he still can be quite intelligent when it comes down to it and would probably be able to outsmart the instinct ran Rajang when it really mattered.
Boomstick;Plus, DK actully DOES scale to Mario, because he's fought him multiple times! And Mario is strong enough to hurt Bowser, who's durable enough to survive a star exploding!
Wiz:Rajang may have been Destruction Incarnate, but Donkey Kong's superior hax and strength were enough to seal the fate of the Gold Lion.
Boomstick:Rajang wasn't Furious enough to take the win.
Wiz:The Winner is Donkey Kong.
Credits[]
Kushala Daora snowstorm calc: https://vsbattles.fandom.com/wiki/User_blog:KieranH10/Monster_Hunter_-_Daora_Discovers_Day_Dispersing_a_Downpour
DK Moon punch calc: https://vsbattles.fandom.com/wiki/User_blog:Kepekley23/Project_NF:_Donkey_Kong_Calc
Thumbnail by Ceoxal
Victory image by Hipper
Pre-fight idea by Ciphy_Master on Reddit
Trivia[]
*Rajang in this fight uses his combined moveset from G Rank in 4 Ultimate and Generations Ultimate, and Master Rank from Iceborne
*The fight section was originally written to be much more one-sided in DK's favor, and was later rewritten.
*Donkey Kong in the fight starts by using moves from DK64 and DK Country, then Smash Bros., and starts fighting in the style of Jungle Beat combined with Smash Bros. in the last part.