| R2-D2 VS Dalek | |
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| Season 2, Episode 01 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | Unknown |
| Written by | Hoot Freeman |
| Directed by | Hoot Freeman |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Sans VS Bill Cipher | Raiden vs. Ryūko Matoi |
Description[]
Star Wars VS Doctor Who! The two most know iconic robots in all of Sci-Fi legacy duke out for title to be known as the best of the best. Who will win? Who will Die? DEATH BATTLE!
Interlude[]
(*https://www.youtube.com/Invader*)
Boomstick: The warzone is just wanting the soldiers it needs, but its the robotic machinery that rovers around not just speaks something, but also is useful during it. I mean just look a those two. Their walking Swiss army knives.
Wiz: R2-D2, the cheekiest of all droid.
Boomstick: And Dalek, the exterminating plumber.
Wiz: I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick. And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
R2-D2 rovers into DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: The time of war was upon the stars. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the dark side of force began rising as the Sith lord, Darth Sidious, planned to take over the galaxy. Due to this, the Jedi order was called in to stop this crisis with the help of Industrial Automaton goods.
Boomstick: Especially their very popular series of astromech droids, R2 series astromech droids. These R2 units serve as a type of repair droid that served as an automated mechanic on starships and be mans best friend 2.0.
Wiz: Out of all the R2s, one ended up more than what he was made for. The model number was R2-D2.
Boomstick: This little guy was started out on the most important service any R2 unit could get in the employ of Queen Amidala of Naboo, and then got more interesting winding up serving prodigal shit to Jedi Knight, Anakin Skywalker, where he met his best friend. A protocal droid named C-3PO. together they ended up as a pair in many adventures throughout the Clone Wars.
Wiz: But then a bad turn occured when Anakin turned to the Dark side and killed the Jedi order which made the two droids abandoned to the Rebellion and eventually end up with Luke Skywalker, who just so happened to be the new hope.
Boomstick: Well, what a coincidences to somehow happen.
Wiz: Each R series unit is given a specially designed unique A.I. that has a personality almost similar to a humans sub-conscience. Yet somehow, a certain bit of cheekiness ended up mostly in R2-D2.
Boomstick: Is that so?
Wiz: Artoo also gotten a peaceful semi-retirement in the Resistance as he pored over several decades of uninterrupted data, causing him to 'dream' of many of his greatest adventures.
Boomstick: You're joking, right?
Wiz: Nope. Which just makes you wander who was assigned making Artoo in the first place.
Boomstick: Well whoever was assigned to make this unit, decided to install a lot of weapons, gadgets, and hell bunch of other stuff in him. Like the usual expandable robot claw arms, an electric shock blaster arm and plasma buzz saw. He also includes strong fire extinguisher that’s also make smoke screesn, an accessible water pump hose, his legs that have all-terrain tread wheel comes with rocket booster for high speed flight and he has an oil injector.
Wiz: Artoo also has scomp link which is computer interface arm capable of hacking any system it interfaces. His internal comlink is for listen in on secret enemy communications, also jam them, and redirect any to give their messages to the wrong number. The Holoprojector / Recorder can store lots of amounts of data.
Boomstcik: His electric pike is a spear that’s also part taser. Artoo also has been installing other stuff during his adventures. An air cannon, an inflatable mattress, a cable gun and propellers.
Wiz: A hidden lightsaber compartment with ejector containing a spare lightsaber, an advance power recharge coupler, crashmat, even a small saw.
Boomstick: And surprise, Artoo has a breakdance mode and a jukebox, but it doesn’t stop there. Collapsible umbrella, confetti-creation device, some grenades, a missile launcher, spring boxing glove, ion cannon… Wait, WHAT?! Where did he get all this stuff?! And where is he keeping all of it? Does he have that endless weapons room from the Matrixs stuffed in his body of titanium or…?
Wiz: Artoo's body is made out of Durasteel, an incredibly strong and versatile metal alloy almost as strong as titanium, capable of withstanding blistering heat, frigid cold, and monumental physical stress, even when very thin. Darth Vader's armor was even composed of it at a time.
Boomstick: Ya know, the same armor the easily deflect lightsaber blows. That one.
Wiz: And that’s not all. Somehow Artoo’s A.I. has developed a system more clever then an average super computer. Artoo has the uncanny to scan all enemies and discover any unknown weaknesses that even they know about. His most noticeable capability is his unbelievable smart-ass computer brain which ultimately hacks any kind of highly advance programs it comes in contact with. He also includes sensors that detect incoming objects. The only thing that stops him is the R2 unit’s compassion. Yes, their compassion is there greatest known weakness.
Boomstick: Considering that some of the times that he sees a female R2 unit, ones that have a pink color on them, he immediately falls for the woman and tries to hook up with her. Plus he not much of a droid who is a lone wolf and likes it when fighting and traveling with friends and needs them to fully survive.
Wiz: Also, he doesn’t stick with an original plan. However his habit of making plans and usually improvising along the way works out a lot better then anyone else. And if you think that Artoo’s compassion will make him come in last, he can put him up to lead of pack and more.
Boomstick: Like the time when two super battle droids caught him snooping around thinking they can take him majorly and Artoo proved them wrong by taking an oil wiss on one which made the two slip and slide and then set them on FIRE! Or the time he and Yoda fought each other over a flashlight!
Wiz: Don't forget when he hacked the Death Star's super computer network which should've given the alarm away his position the moment he'd interfaced with it, but it didn't.
Boomstick: He can turn complete flawless work systems of evil organisations into out of control riot chaos all within an hour, not to mention sabotage a star destroyer run by space pirates.
Wiz: Artoo is capable of countering the tactics of Boba Fett, the most dangerous bounty hunter in the galaxy, probably since his durasteel body is capable of still be intact and survive after getting shot by a point-blank blast from a TIE fighter and caught in explosion that destroyed a Jedi cruiser that Artoo just saved everyone from. Judging the looks of the explosion that Artoo was in, this blast must have been 5 times more powerful than the Tsar Bomba, which was 57 megatons of TNT.
Boomstick: Damn, that's more bad-ass then defeating a gargantuan mobile freighter robot.
Wiz: This is The Great Heep, a machine who like is capable of making the Death Star's interior close for repairs for a long while.
Boomstick: I don't know why they don't have more of him since all that so far been happening in the Star Wars verse was mostly a lot of every time Artoo saves the day.
Wiz: Its not the size of the droid in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the droid.
R2-D2: *beeps and whistles*
Hay-Zu: Ah. Big talk for a small droid.
Dalek exterminates into DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: In the years of 450 AD to 1450 AD on a vast planet call Skaro was at crisis of its Thousand Year War between the Kaleds and the Thals. The conflict ravaged the planet with radiation, forcing the remaining combatants to live within domed cities.
Boomstick: The place was a total battlefield that make any child realized that they should've not gone out their due to infested with hordes of mutant creatures, the sickening polluted air, and not to mention that kid who accidentally wandered across ground covered with hands rising from it and have eyes in the palms? WHAT! Who be stupid enough to walk into that?
Wiz: The originally head of the Kaled Scientific Elite, Davros, who was the reason how the Kaleds won the war all do to his priced creation know as the Daleks.
Boomstick: Now why does that sound familiar.
Note: Dalek is Kelad spelled backwards.
Wiz: However instead of making the Daleks peaceful creatures of good by the Doctors request considering the Doctor saved him from that handmine field, Davros made them the evil exterminators they would become.
Boomstick: He saved my life when i was kid. I will thank him by creating evil creatures that will be the universe's greatest pain in the ass. And he figure out to make these that kind of a monstrosity was to give them a personality with one main goal. Kill everything that isn't one of them!
Wiz: Well, Daleks had little individual personality and a strict hierarchy. They were conditioned to obey a superior's orders without question, even if these orders resulted in pain or death. Although the Daleks looked entirely robotic, they were, in fact, cyborgs, with a living body encased in.
Boomstick: Erg. Its looks like as if a retarded alien squid came out as a defect. Luckily, they can hide the ugliness supported by an armed and mobile outer shell of Dalekanium protective metal armour.
Wiz: Yet another horribly named alloy that is lighter than titanium, but surprise, it not as strong as titanium since the stuff has records of being destroyed by usual explosives andcseemingly vulnerable to energy weapons.
Boomstick: Externally, the Daleks resembled human-sized peppershakers, with a single mechanical eyestalk in a rotating dome, with lower portion of the casing was studded with fifty-six partially-embedded spherical protrusions, which serve as a self-destruct system.
Wiz: The casing is booby-trapped, making even dead Daleks a dangerous foe. The Dalek's eyepiece is its most vulnerable spot – as there was no back-up system if this was obscured, damaged or destroyed – and impairing its vision often led to the Dalek panicking and firing its main weapon indiscriminately.
Boomstick: Which is their gunstick, an arm cannon so deadly, not even themselves can't survive it.
Wiz: However it has little or no effects on mechanical beings.
Boomstick: The second arm is its plunger.
Wiz: No. It’s actually a manipulator arm, a long, thin, mechanical arm that the black tip at the end, which gave the arm its "plunger" shape, could alter its form to better interact with specific objects, It could be drained out by force by encasing a subject's head inside their "plunger" tips, which would stretch the victim's head and brain to wring out their knowledge through information probes. The probes were strong enough to have a deadly effect on humans, draining them so fiercely that their bodies shriveled up and become burned out husks.
Rose Tyler: You didn’t need to kill him!
Random Dalek: Neither did we need him alive.
Boomstick: It could be swapped out for a tool more specific to the Dalek's current needs. Such as a heavy flamethrower, a blowtorch that is also a claw, and a buzz saw.
Wiz: The Dalek casing is equipped with limited force-fields, hoverbouts for interstellar flight. Making the stairs method useless. They are also equipped with missiles and also seismic detect or locate enemy and time machines outside the vortex. Each Dalek is forged into a specific class series such as engineers, scientist, special weapons, etc.
Boomstick: Complete with a fleet armada of space ships with lots of cool and over powered gadgetry that doesn’t seem getting used by them a lot lately. Talk about damn waste.
Wiz: Also just screams stupidity considering that three leaders run that empire. The first one as Davros who lost his bottom torso and replaced it with his own custom dalek casing, the second being a supreme Dalek, and the third is a really huge Dalek as the emperor.
Boomstick: Figures. They obviously do the cliche.
Wiz: OK. Maybe Daleks don't do bright job at proving that they're the superior race all the time, but they are still the very evil race that we all know.
Boomstick: These's guys are capable of conquered countless civilizations and even fought the Time Lords to a standstill Time War.
Wiz: Despite being supposedly extinct, the Daleks not only managed to come back in full strength, but also in more numbers. One Dalek can clear an entire underground military base, this made the The Doctor once said "it only takes one Dalek to kill everyone in Salt Lake City, Utah" which is a 120-mile long. This statement would happen if the Dalek can make it without having any of its faults occuring. Such as their eyestalk, their only way to see, gets blind or destroyed.
Boomstick: Plus their flaws go even more, like Arrogant and prideful to a fault.
Wiz: Regular Dalek soldiers rely on orders from superiors; lack imagination or individual personality. Plus although the Daleks have claimed one Dalek was enough to eliminate the Cybermen race; truth is, their victories came from their overwhelming numbers to overwhelm their enemies like ants.
Dalek: This isn't war, this is pest control!
Wiz: Plus they don't seem to think ahead a lot which leads to giving them many down falls.
Boomstick: Its ridiculous on how they nearly have universal domination in their grasp and then at the last moment, they not only drop the ball, but also get pushed back far to and beyond the starting point in embarrassing ways. I mean one time they stole 27 planets and than had a weapon to make them victorious, and still lost! Because one of the Doctor's companions flipped a switch and then all the Daleks start to malfunction and then made them destroy themselves.
Wiz: But it the Daleks keep themselves in check for long enough, they may have a chance.
Emma: Why do you have chairs on a Dalek spaceship anyway?
Dalek: We will explain later.
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Lets end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
FIGHT![]
At the New Jedi order.
Yoda: Known as Mew, the creature which is as, is not looking good.
Mew on a recovering bed as The doctor scans it.
Doctor: Your friend will be good as new as soon that R2 unit gets back with the Ex. Revive unit.
C-3PO: Well he should've been back by now. Artoo better not be slacking off.
With R2-D2
Artoo: *piloting a speeder craft through the ways in far part of the city.* (beep and whistle) *See the stand coming up in view where he saw the place burning as another robot caming out of the place with the Ex. Revive unit.*
Dalek: Ex. unit obtained. *Holding the Ex. unit with his manipulator arm.* This is the key to revive the subject to make Daleks the new rulers.
Artoo: *speeds by as he used his expanding claw arm to yoink the unit from the Dalek's arm which infuriates the Dalek.* (Beeps) *Speeds away.*
Artoo driving along, then his sensors picked up something coming towards him. He slows down as the incoming object bashed into his crafts rear bumper. Artoo Speeds up again and sees another speeder craft with the Dalek driving. Artoo puts the Ex. unit in his storage compartment in his body.
Dalek: You will be EXTERMINATED! *Speed up his craft*
FIGHT!
Artoo then sets his craft to auto pilot and then gets on the back hood. He fires a spring boxing glove at the Dalek. The Dalek gets hit by it and saw another one.
Dalek: Projectile attack. Returning fire.
The Dalek starts firing from its gunstick at the boxing glove, destroying it and then at Artoo. The laser firer at Artoo and are doing nothing to him. Artoo pulls out his charge arm and fires 3 direct electro blast at the Dalek that hurt it.
Dalek: Armor damage detected. Target is not affected by current settings of gunstick. Scanning target.
Artoo then uses his rocket boosters to jet out of his craft and the Dalek hovered after him. Artoo then lands down onto a side platform next to an alleyway. Artoo then sees the Dalek landing onto the platform.
Dalek: We will become the supreme. *Swaps out its manipulator arm with the flamethrower.* The rest will burn. *Starts using the flamethrower.*
Artoo: (Whistles and beeps) *Activates his fire extinguisher which over powered the flames and made a thick smoke screen in the area.*
Dalek: Target has vanished in the smoke. Searching for target.
As the Dalek tries to locate Artoo, Artoo activates his electric pike and does the same scene like in Tom n’ Jerry Fourth of July episode and gives some taser zaps to the Dalek.
Dalek: Alert! Alert! Unknown electric shock hits to armor occurring! Explain! Explain! *As it goes on a confused riot.*
Artoo: (Cheeky whistle) *Comes out from the smoke and then sprays slippery oil on the ground.*
As the Dalek found its way out of the smoke, it then slides along the oil and crashes into a trash pile.
Artoo: (Beeps and whistle)
Dalek: *Emerges from the pile and sees Artoo* This means war! *Charges up its flamethrower.*
Artoo: (Beeps) *Activates his water pump hose and releases a huge amount of water that splashed all over the Dalek.*
Dalek: What is the meaning of this? *Fires the flamethrower, but water squirted out instead of fire.* What?
Artoo: (Cheeky whistle) *Rovers away*
Dalek: Target escaping. Must not let it successed *Chases after Artoo.*
As Artoo rolls along, the Dalek tries to keep up. Eventually Artoo sees an Eta-2 Actis Jedi Starfighter parked next to the walkway. Artoo rocket boost over to it as he also uses comlink to make the fighter open up. Artoo lands in the cockpit and starts flying the fighter into the rush hour traffic of hovercrafts.
Dalek: The chase is far from over. *Starts up and hovers after Artoo into the traffic.*
Artoo: (Beeps x3) *Makes his fighter deploy frag explosives from the rear.*
As one of the explosive explodes near the Dalek, the Dalek then starts firing its gunstick for the starfighter. More of the frags go off as thee chase causes massive panic in the traffic. Eventually, Artoo saw a universal portal transport gate that was about to be closed for repairs and head straight into it as the Dalek followed him through it.
In a random part of space
Artoo comes out of the end of the portal. Then the Dalek come fiying out that passes Artoo by accident. Artoo then sees that he has end up near the mother fleet of the Dalek race, all the Daleks that exist in one place.
Dalek: Calling main control. Repeat, calling main control of mother fleet.
Artoo: (Beeps and whistles.) *Activates his comlink to intercept the Dalek communications and mess with it.*
In the main Dalek main control, a bunch of random Daleks listened to the message that they didn’t know was hacked be Artoo.
Message: Target…threat…Shoot at all… no… matter…if…ships…are in…range of…fire… *Sound of a Dalek getting blown up.*
Supreme Dalek: The fallen Dalek has given his warning. Prepare to fire!
As the Dalek fleet saucers prepare to fire, Artoo starts flying his fight into waves of the fleet. Ship cannons started firing all that are targeting for Artoo. Artoo flies his fighter through the waves of firing as he dodges every cannon fire from the dalek ships while also making other cannon fire head at other dalek ships, making the fleet shooting at each other.
Artoo: (Beeps and whistles.) *Fires a jericho missile from the fighter.*
The Jericho missile releases lots of small homing projectiles which homed at random ships of Daleks, blowing them up. Artoo then charges his fighter towards the mother ship. As his fighter crash lands in a docking bay, he exits the cockpit and sees several Daleks preparing to fire.
Random Dalek: Target is present. Shoot him!
Artoo fires a small missile at the range of Daleks that blows some up. He quickly rovers away into the halls of the mother ship. He eventually enters a huge weapons storage. Just then, Artoo heard a bunch of Daleks heading to his location. Artoo heads in to a separate garage that has a bunch of very powerful parts that seemed not have been touched since day. Artoo then use his interface arm at an interface panel in the garage to close it with him inside and then gets to work.
*2 minutes later*
Lots of Daleks huddle up in a massive wave in the storage get ready to fire.
Supreme Dalek: Fire all cannons at target when he comes out of the room.
Then all of a sudden, the garage door gets launched from its latches, flying into the wave of Daleks, taking out one fourth of the amount. As all the remaining three fourths of the Daleks got surprised of what just happened and then look back at the garage and saw a dozen of hulkbuster armors as droids with a color style like Artoo when he was making them out of the stuff from the parts he found lying in the garage.
Artoo: (Beeps twice, whistles then beeps once)
His sound make his new built droids charge at the Daleks and start tearing them apart. This made Daleks go into a panicking riot and start firing at the droids yet there fire power just does nothing to the hulkbuster droids. Artoo then rovers to someplace else in the mother ship while his droids continue to beat the crap out of and Daleks they see.
Meanwhile back at the Jedi temple
C-3PO: I better see whats taking Artoo so long. Hope that new universal live camera that I put in his head didn’t get uninstalled. *Pulls up a live view of Artoo sight on the monitor.*
While the Doctor was doing some of his calculations, C-3PO interrupts his focus.
C-3PO: Excuse me Doctor, I was trying to see what was keeping Artoo by using the live cam installed in him only to get him staring at something that I don’t have a clue what is. Would you happen to know what it is? *Shows a live view of the Dalek Emperor on the monitor.*
The Doctor: Oh dear.
Back with Artoo
Dalek Emperor: For something that’s small, you are quiet lucky to make it this far in taking on the Daleks and beat loots, but unfortunately, this is where it ends.
Artoo: (Beeps and whistles)
Artoo then rovers over to a control console and use his interface arm to program something to transfer on the floor at what appears to be a stage of random flashing colors on the floor almost as if was break dance floor. Than a juke box forms up as well as a disco ball appears above the stage.
Dalek Emperor: What is the meaning of this? Explain. Explain. *Getting confused on what is Artoo doing.*
Artoo: (Beeps 4 times) *Rovers over to the juke box and selects a song.*
As the song started, Artoo turned on his Breakdance mode and boogies down the beat on the dance floor pressing on various colored squares that light up. Artoo hit every beat and not in the song as he was dancing. He did the moonwalk, the worm, the air thrust, even the coffee grind. Just as the song about ended, Artoo hits one last square that lit up the whole Dance floor.
Random computer voice: Password accepted.
Dalek Emperor: What?!
Random computer voice: Thank you for activating the Destroy all Daleks system. Now initiating all Daleks to automatic self-destruct. Have a nice day.
Dalek Emperor: Say WHAT!!!
Just then, explosions started happening. Daleks started panicing as one by one self-destructs to blow up completely annihilating every Dalek as well for their battle ships exploding. Than the Dalek mother ship started to shake and began fall apart. Eventually an explosion happens under one of the Dalek Emperor’s supporters. The Emperor starts screaming as it begun to crash through the floor and fall into the almost about to explode ship. Artoo starts moving back to landing bay as fast as he can. When Artoo got there, he stopped and saw who was Davros.
Davros: You. I had made the ultimate species. One that can annihilate all the other species. And you ended them in one hour. You hear this! I Curse you! I name you the destroyer of all you decide to go to oblivion!
Than an explosion happens on the ceiling where loads of destroyed scrap fall onto Davros which end him.
Artoo: (Whistles) *rotates his head half way to see the big explosion happen.* (Beeps)
Meanwhile back at the Jedi temple
The Doctor: I can't go get him if i don't know where in space he is now, that Dalek fleet could be any where!
Yoda: Travel through time, that box of yours can. All the time to search, we have.
C-3PO: Um, i'm believe we don't have any more time.
The doctor and Yoda turn to monitor where C-3PO only for them to see that the monitor signal to the camera died.
C-3PO: Artoo...
Just when they were about to start a sad moment, a man next to the TARDIS heard the phone rang and pick it up.
Hoot Freeman: Um this digital voice says he a friend. He says he wants to talk to one of you three.
The Doctor can over and took the phone call.
The Doctor's voice: Hello?
Artoo: (Scream) *Rocket boost out of the explosion looking mostly operational as he begins for a trip to find home.*
KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: The droid is a god ya hear me, a god!
Wiz: This fight was close, but in the end the outcome is little Artoo on top. Not by dumb luck, but by him having every advantage in every single category. Although, while the Doctor did state that "it only takes one Dalek to kill everyone in Salt Lake City, Utah." There is no actual logical events in the Doctor Who series that when there was a sight of a Dalek attacking a city, there were actually multiple amounts of Daleks attacking the city, not one Dalek.
Boomstick: It's also reasonable that Artoo was more superior in weapons, yes the Dalek gustick sound like a instant kill.
Wiz: However, the gunstick has no effects on mechanical beings like Artoo is. And while the Dalekanium may sound tough, Artoo's durasteel outclasses it due to its history of take lots of immense harm it been thrown at it. In fact, the difference in survival, feats and experience is very well clear. Artoo got caught in a explosion more powerful that Tsar Bomba, and all he lost was a leg.
Boomstick: All Daleks were completely obliterated without effort from a similar scenario.
Wiz: Artoo is capable of countering the tactics of Boba Fett, and is also the reason how Luke caused him to fall into the sarlax.
Boomstick: A Dalek got beaten' up by ordinary man with an ordinary baseball bat.
Wiz: Artoo is know to taking on evil organisations similar to the Dalek empire, and took them down with complete ease.
Boomstick: The Daleks keep getting beaten by the same man on a weekly basis.
Wiz: And being more cheeky improvising of the two, Artoo turn all the Daleks strengths and abilities against them in to what majorly lead to their end. Sometimes the obvious choice doesn't just ends up as the obvious winner.
Boomstick: Looks like Daleks "Artoo" great after all. Ha ha.
Wiz: The winner is R2-D2.
Next time...[]
Boomstick: Next time on DEATH BATTLE!
VS