Description[]
Two swashbuckling characters, both portrayed by Antonio Banderas, test their skills against each other in a sword fight to beat sword fights.
Introduction[]
Wiz: "Swashbuckling, meaning to swagger with a sword, showing flamboyancy has been around since the 1550's. This idea was soon romanticized, with characters robbing from the rich and giving to the poor, such as Robin Hood, The Lone Ranger and of course our two combatants today."
Boomstick:"I can't believe we are making a cat fight a pulp hero. It can't get any better than THIS! Also, if you watch the Shrek/Puss in Boots films, it is obvious that he was inspired from Zorro, you know with helping peasants, later being "romantically" involved with a female character, Kitty Softpaws, carving his initials as a symbol, being a Spanish hero...both being portrayed by the same actor. Its pretty much Antonio vs Antonio in this fight."
Wiz: "Well, Puss was also mainly inspired by the earlier fairy tale of the same name, the Dreamworks versions, practically is a feline Zorro. Helping peasants in Spain and defying the royals. Puss and Boots, the feline fencer.
Boomstick: "And Zorro the famous pulp hero. I'm Boomstick and he's Wiz..."
Wiz: "And it's our job to analyze their weapons armor and skills to figure out who would win a Death Battle!!!"
Puss in Boots[]
Boomstick: "Who is your favorite, fearless hero? Who is you favorite, fearless herooo-ooooo?!"
Wiz: "Boomstick! This is Death Battle not Karaoke Night!"
Boomstick: "C'mon, it's a banger!"
Wiz: *sigh* "I know. I have it has my ringtone. Anyways, like we said Puss is inspired by the fairy tale and his opponent, Zorro. He was raised humbly, as a stray. The only family he had was in an orphanage, raised by his loving mother Imelda. Soon, he would meet Humpty Dumpty, and they quickly became friends, with Dumpty giving him his iconic name. The two had a dream, to get the Magic Beans, and get the Golden Goose's eggs to set themselves up for life."
Boomstick: "So they decided to steal various beans, getting in and out of trouble, but in one of their heist Puss saved the Captain of the Guards mother from a charging bull, earning his boots and being claimed as a hero. Though this was the beginning of the end of their friendship, as Puss did not want to steal anymore. So Humpty, being a rotten egg, tricked Puss into robbing the San Ricardo bank. The two were chased, ending with the money falling over the bridge, and Puss abandoning Humpty to be "scrambled" by the guards."
Wiz: "Really? Egg puns. Someone's hit a new low."
Boomstick: "SHUT UP, THERE FUNNY!"
Wiz: "Puss, would soon abandon his home out of shame, becoming a bounty hunter in a bar, the Poisoned Apple."
Boomstick: "Soon, we would have a bounty put on...the ULTRA POWERFUL MEME OGRE!"
Wiz: "He means Shrek. You see, Fiona's father, HATED Shrek at that moment, as he did want Fiona to marry Prince Charming, as he had a deal with the Fairy Godmother. So, he hired him as a bounty hunter, to kill Shrek. Though the two would become close friends later in the film, and the sequels."
Abilities and Weapons
Rapier
Swordsmanship
Small size
Clever, and witty
Sharp claws and boots
Master thief
Agile
Cuteness overload
Wiz: "Of course we can't mention Puss without his blade and boots. Puss is a master swordsman, using his small size to his advantage, being agile and slippery to hit. He was a bounty hunter, known for hunting ogres, so he has fought much more physically powerful and larger opponents. He was dominating Shrek during their fight, once again using his agility and small size, being hard for him to grab. His rapier he also quite sharp, being able to hurt a stone giant and slice through wood and bark easily. Yep, you heard that right, this little kitty has defeated a giant, by using his wits and agility. He took it down quite easily too."
Boomstick: "He also has no problem fighting multiple oppoments, being able to hold off multiple fights In Shrek 2. Let's also talk that he can stun opoments, by using his cuteness and charms, which worked on the knights, throwing them off guard. As for being a cat, he has nine lives, though he only has one now as he has "died" eight times. Also like a cat, he is very agile and has quick reflexes. Being able to cleanly shave a man and slice his pants off in a few seconds. The dude as even deflected arrows with his sword, and caught a cross bolt with his teeth!"
Wiz: "Puss also has sharp claws that can cut glass, as well as being a master thief, stealing to repay his debts. As we said Puss has fought Shrek, multiple opponents such as knights, his lover(?) Kitty Softpaws, who is just as skilled as him, even DEATH himself in the new 2022 movie."
Boomstick: "AWWW, SPOILERS!!!" Anywho, Puss is not invincible. He can be arrogant like during his first fight with Death, which nearly cost him his last life. Also his cuteness dose not always work. Being a cat, funny enough he also has the weakness of one. Hairballs, laser pointers, string. They can all be distractions. And he is not as fearless as his song says, as he has a full blown PANIC ATTACK when he sees Death. Though he dose overcome this fear and actually, dose a pretty good job fighting him, including hurting and knocking him back. Though he said he could not truly beat Death, he would not stop fighting for his friends and his last life."*starts tearing up*
Wiz: "But even with those flaws, Puss shows that he is truly a-*phone starts ringing, singing Fearless Hero*
Zorro[]
*Note: Since there are different versions of Zorro, we will be using the one from the 1998 film.*
Boomstick: "Wiz, what exactly is a pulp hero. I know, just let the kids at home know."
Wiz: "Boomstick, the kids at home know you don't read. Pretty much pulp was the building ground for comics, having characters like Conan, Tarzan, Zorro, Doc Savage, The Shadow, etc. The pulp books were called that because the book was often made of inexpensivee wood pulp paper they were printed on in the magazines."
Boomstick: "Huh, not what I thought but okay. I am sure this may surprise the audience, but the character we are talking about, Alejandro Murettia, was not the original Zorro. That was a vigorous man named, Diego de la Vega. You see, he was just a child who, like many of the other citizens, saw Zorro as a hero. During one of Vega's escapades, he fought against Don Rafael Monterro, the corrupt governor of Las Californias, and his armed men to save three men about to be shot to lure him out. That was one of the least jerkish thing this guy has done!"
Wiz: "After another victory with the help of Alejandro and his brother, Zorro returned home to his wife, Esperanza, and his baby, Elena. Only to be found by the governor and his men. They duked it out in swords play, only for one of the soldiers to accidentally shoot Esperanza. After that, Rafel stole Elena as his own child, as he loved Esperanza too, and set fire to Vega's home as well as imprisoning him for twenty years...until he escaped.
Boomstick: "Alejandro and his brother as well as Three-Fingered Jake, were grown and were known bandits for 200 pesos. Unfortunately, the cruel Captain Harrison Love and his men stopped them dead in their tracks after their latest heist. Capturing Jake to work in the El Dorado mine, and would have killed Alejandro's brother had he not shot himself, to spare himself from whatever cruel punishment awaited him. Fortunately Alejandro escaped, only having Zorro's medallion he gave them from helping him escape. This made Alejandro like me, drunk and full of hate, wanting REVENGE."
Wiz: "This is when Vega comes back in. Seeing that they want the same thing, revenge on Rafeal and Love, Vega took Alejandro in and trained him to be the next Zorro, as Vega had other plans to get his, now grow daughter, Elena back."
Abilities and weapons
Rapier
Whip
Skilled swordsman and fighter
Stealthy and agile
Cleverness
Wiz: "Zorro is of course a VERY skilled swordsman, being trained by the original Zorro. At first, he was easily beaten by his mentor, but eventually becomes good enough to become a challenge and even DISARM him. He is no stranger to fighting multiple skilled opponents, such as the time when he fought an entire room of soldiers, albeit with some difficulty as he was still new at being Zorro. He has also fought both Monterro and Love at the same time. Note that Rafeal is a skilled fighter with a sword, being able to give Vega trouble. He has also dueled with Elena, who was trained to fence since she was four. He also has unorthodox ways of disarming foes, as he uses a bull horn mount to use as a sword replacement when he is disarmed by Moterro's garrison. He also disarmed and won against Elena with horse riding gear. He also can be quite precise with his sword.
Boomstick: "He sliced into Elen's clothes and sliced her top off without even scratching her. His sword is also very sharp, being able to slice his iconic Z into flesh and other objects. He is also one clever dude, being able to use the environment against his foes, and even got Monterro to think he was a Don and to trust him. The next best thing about Zorro, other than his AWSOME swordsmanship is his stealth. You see he had to steal plans from Montero's house, so he used the roof rafters to hang on to and get the map to El Dorado's mine, where they were planning to kill the slaves to cover there tracks, that an enemy nation would not know they were stealing gold from THEIR land! He also aticapted Loves' ambush and instead pulled an uno-reverse card on him."
Wiz: " Besides his rapier, Zorro has a bullwhip that he uses to cling to objects wrapping it around them. Zorro is quite strong, as Vega's raining was quite brutal, making him do push ups over candles, while laying his feet on him. He is strong enough to wrestle full grown men. off their horses, and can clash with equally strong parries. He is also extremely agile, being able to avoid gunshots by using the environment, as well ash jump between running horses. Though, Zorro can be and has been disarmed, and outnumbered. As he did have trouble with Monterro's garrison, and Love during their final duel, though Zorro wins and kills him. He can also be a tad cocky as with his deal with Elena, being shocked at how good she was."
Boomstick: "But thanks to Vega, Alejandro became a zero to Zorro in no time. He was able to kill Love, his brothers killer, and Vega was finally able to show that he was the TRUE father of Elena, and aged to defeat Monterro once and for all, though he was fatally injured. He died, knowing that Zorro will live on in Alejandro and that he would become Elena's lover.
Interlude[]
Wiz:" We have studied the weapons, armor, and feats of the legendary Puss and Zorro and now..."
Boomstick" "It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!"
Death Battle[]
The night buzzed during the Summer of Las Californias, the bugs and other creatures of the night wondering the Earth, for it was there time. A waterfall peacefully cascaded over the ledge leaving a relaxing sound as it struck the ground below. But what was more impressive than the waterfall? What was held inside. The lair of Zorro, who had a special guest today. Puss whistled, impressed with the inside of the cave.
Puss: "Most impressive Señor Zorro, though it could use some dusting here and there."
Zorro chuckled at the remark...
Zorro: "Thank you Señor Puss, though if you plan on being the next Zorro, you will have to worry other things to worry about than dust."
The two walked to a ring of circles near a skylight.
Zorro: "This circle...when you defeat me...if you do, the circle will close and you will be closer to your goal. That's what MY master said to me.."
Puss: "The original Zorro? Is he...?"
Zorro: "Yes, died in my arms, after killing his mortal enemy."
Puss:*takes off hat, held to chest* "He seems like a good man."
Zorro: "Si, he taught me much. But let us move on to the future, that is what he would want. Not to dwell on his death. What is your goal...fame...money...Zorro only has the peoples need's in interest."
Puss:*puts hat back on* "To settle my debts for my mother and the orphans. So they never fall to be thieving cheats like me."
Zorro*chuckles*: "I was once a thieving bandido as well. There is much more to us, amigo, there is so much more to us than our past."*pulls out rapier* "Now, enough chatter gato. We will duel like mortal enemies."
Puss pulled out his blade as well, as the two took a fighting stance, circling each other making feints at each other, with bemused expressions on their faces. Suddenly, as if in fast motion, the two rapidly clashed with their blades, parring each other's attacks. Puss thrusted his sword a Zorro only for him to block it and kick Puss back. Puss somersaulted onto his feet form the blow, and rushed toward Zorro as the rapiers clashed win a flurry of lunges, parries, and feints.
Puss: "Ha Ha! You should know Señor Zorro, I have NEVER been touched by a blade." *side steps a thrust from Zorro, as the masked swordsman with a lucid moment, sliced off the left side of Puss's whiskers, nearly nicking him*
Zorro: "Ah, but there is a first time for everything gato. And you are not fighting some ordinary ogre, TONIGHT you face the FOX!"*stikes with a downward strike, as Puss barley dodges*
Puss then hopped on Zorro's thin rapier, using his light weight to his advantage and dropkicked the masked romantic in the face. Zorro lurched back, surprised by his foes litheness. Suddenly, the rusty taste of blood enters Zorro's lips, the kick had busted his lower lip. Zorro wiped away the blood with a amused smirk. Puss held his rapier out in a straight line, challenging the famous swords man. Zorro rushed forward and the two continued their duel. Thrust! Block! Parry! Repeat! It was a laborious process, but a freeing one, as the two hardly met someone of their skill. The feline and the fox. A pair locked into battle. The two circled each other agin, keeping each other at blade's length. Puss jumped into the air, throwing his cape into Zorro's face, and with a thrust, nicked him in the rump. Zorro retaliated with a disorienting swish of his cape, and with a quick slice, cut Puss's hat in half and with a few well placed strikes, put the cat on the defensive. Puss, annoyed about his hat, replaced his footing, and slid between Zorro's legs, and with a quick slash, Zorro's trousers fell to the ground. Puss smirked smugly, as that was repayment for his hat. Zorro scowled, and managed to get his pants back on into a knots and put on the offensive. The two clashed inside the cave, Puss's agility vs Zorro's strength. With a quick thrust and twist, Puss disarmed the Spanish fox of his balde. Puss held his blade at Zorro's throat, as a sign that he had won. Zorro chuckled sheepishly, and flicked Puss's rapier, causing it to vibrate. Then with a swift punt, knocked the orange tabby off his feet. Puss yowled as he went down, and Zorro raced after his blade, near the training ropes, where his master taught him to be as swift as a...cat. Puss, with astonishing speed reached Zorro in time for the romantic swords man to grasp his sword and swing on the rope, striking with a backward thrust. Puss grabbed onto a rope, as the two turned and twisted into the ropes with serpentine motions. Puss sliced into a rope, causing Zorro to fall to the ground on his posture with. a THUMP! Zorro recovered, to block an overhead strike from a jumping Puss, and slammed the tabby into the ground with a well placed blow, putting his boot on Puss's blade.
Zorro: "Hm, it appears the mask is not yours quite yet gato."
Puss hissed and with a quick motion, out came the kitty's claws, plunging them into Zorro's left leg.
Zorro: "Gah!"
Puss dodged another sword strike from Zorro climbing up his body, striking in some rather...vulnerable places as he has Shrek. Zorro doubled over in pain, as he tried grasping Puss, each time missed. Finally Zorro was able to shake him off. But to his surprise, the feline thief had stolen his mask, while on him.
Puss: "You mean this mask? I find it would keep one's looks hidden from the ladies."
Zorro: "You would be surprised how many love the mystery."
Puss thrusted his blade, as the two stopped their banter and continued their duel. Puss struck again, only for Zorro to sidestep with ease, and struck down, slicing into Puss's forehead. Puss yowled in anger, and backflipped back throwing a blade in Zorro's direction, only to be easily blocked. Zorro rushed at the furious feline only for his face too once again meet those all too familiar boots. Zorro tumbled back, Puss nicking his hand, causing him to drop his blade. Puss kicked it way, and with a sudden motion...
Puss: "It is over Zorro. You have been bested by Puss*carves a P into Zorro's suit*in boots!"
Zorro slowly inched his way to his sword, and with the cat noticing rolled out of the way from a downward strike. Zorro grabbed his bullwhip and with a quick motion wrapped it around his blade handle, bringing it back to him. Zorro smirked. Puss huffed in frustration and amazement at this swordsman's resourcefulness. Puss yelled and with a lunge...Zorro slipped out his bullwhip and whipped it across a rope. With some effort, and momentum, he showed the cat what it felt like to have boots smashed into one's nose. Puss yelled as he tumbled back losing his blade, but regaining it with a roll, and jumped as he rapidly slashed, and clashed blades. Puss used his quick agility and small size to climb around and dance around Zoro in the duel, Both combatants, becoming rather restless, they both jumped high into the air. Thunder rumbled and lighting stuck as their blades met. The two came landing on the ground opposite of each other. The cave was silent. The air was swift. Zorro collapsed, having been stuck multiple times. Zorro huffed, coughing up some of that rusty blood. Puss smiled and lent the fox his paw.
Zorro: "Gracias. Huff, huff. You are quite skilled my friend. I can see why you have such a high bounty in Spain. You... are ready."
Puss: "It was an honor, my compadre. Though I have to ask you something."
Zorro: "What is that Señor Puss.?"
Puss: "Want to go again?"
With a warm smile, Zorro and Puss, generations old and new, readied themselves for another round.
K.O!
Zorro and Puss are shown sparring, this time with Puss wearing Zorro's mask., becoming the new Zorro.
Boomstick: "How did a grown man lose to a cat?! Just spray him with water dude. Or better yet, neuter him! HEH!"
Wiz: :"This was quite close, as both Puss and Zorro were about equal in swordsmanship, being able to handle more powerful opponents as well as being outnumbered. But while Zorro was stronger than Puss, Puss counteracted that with his cleverness and small size as he has done before. Zorro is skilled but is nothing Puss has not faced before. And I doubt Puss's cuteness would even work on him!"
Boomstick: "Yep, Puss has fought way bigger and way tougher than Zorro. His sword literally pierced the hide of a stone giant, and his claws could hurt Shrek, who is also quite durable. Which leads us to point number two. Both Puss and Alejandro have been disarmed before, but Puss has his claws, while Zorro has to often rely on his environment and quick thinking. Also, yeah, Zorro is one sly dude, but Puss is just quicker and more agile. Guess it come with being a cat. Puss also has quicker reflexes so It is harder to disarm him."
Wiz: "In the end, Zorro may have been skilled and stronger, but Puss was just to quick and is nothing like Zorro has faced before, as he is much more skilled than Love or Rafael."
Boomstick: "Zorro put up a good fight, but was soon hiss-tory."
Wiz:*sigh*
Boomstick: Hold on, hold on! I can do better.
Wiz: "No. No you can't. The winner in Puss in Boots."
