Description[]
DC Comics vs Twisted Metal vs Yandere Simulator vs Total Drama vs Five Nights at Freddy's vs The Simpsons vs Danganronpa vs Family Guy vs Death Note vs Granny! Which one of these deadly psychopaths will win?
Intro[]
Wiz: There are many psychopaths around the world. Some may not even look like one but don't let what they look like fool you.
Boomstick: Today, we've got some of the most recognizable psychopaths from fiction for one epic fight!
Wiz: That's right! The Joker, Sweet Tooth, Ayano Aishi, Chris McLean, Springtrap, Sideshow Bob, Junko Enoshima, Peter Griffin, Light Yagami and Granny will face off in a nine way battle royale.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weaponry, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
The Joker[]
(deadpool and sheldon suddenly appear in a flash of light, with sheldon currently holding his toothbrush in his mouth while deadpool is half naked)
Deadpool: holy shit what the f*** was that.
(a few minutes of explanation later and both are know prepared, though deadpool looks more than a little pissed off about something)
deadpool: so you’re telling me that we’re to help this guy explain the stuff about certain psychopaths backstories, and im not even one of the psychopaths here, i killed my entire universe once for crying out loud, what am i, just some joke to you.
sheldon: well not to us, but I’m more than a little sure you would be for the person we’re analysing first.
deadpool: yyyeeeaaahhhh, i guess if there was someone who i would say was more psychotic than me, it would be this clown, not too mention I’m helping with a couple of these guys, which would give me an unfair advantage.
sheldon: there we go, and who may this clown be, people who are reading through this, why one of the worlds first and most iconic psychopaths in fiction.
deadpool: he’s the archenemy to batman, the (figurative, they already have a literal) bane of Gotham, the jester of genocide, clown prince of crime, he’s been going for roughly eighty years and still keeping his act fresh, the joker.
sheldon: there are many different interpretations on how this madman came to be, he was either a man down on his luck who finally cracked under the pressures of the society we live in, a gang member tossed into a vat of ace chemicals or he just was, the guy doesn’t really need an explanation for why he does what he does, so why should his backstory, heck we don’t even know his real name… well aside from Arthur fleck.
deadpool: yeah, but just because he doesn’t have an explanation for it doesn’t exactly mean he’s dumb, heck his intelligence is probably his best… well worst for us, trait.
sheldon: i mean it would have to be, the guy is smart enough to rival ra’s al ghul, a man who has lived for hundreds of years, and of course he is smart enough to outwit even batman, you know the guy who when confronted with a dead body with no entry or exit wounds figured out that they were killed by a bullet fired backwards in time.
deadpool: the guy has made so many utterly complex yet simplistic plans that it is utterly mind boggling, hell he even managed to turn batman and superman into villains on separate occasions by utilising his own death, he’s a literal 5-d chess player.
sheldon: he even manipulated psychologist Harleen quinzel into falling madly in love with him ad becoming Harley Quinn… great naming choice, bet that was hard to figure out.
deadpool: but lets be honest here, he wouldn’t have accomplished nearly as much as he did if not for the sheer number of tools at his disposal.
sheldon: he is a master of using his surrounding environment to help, like stabbing through the eye with a pencil or bludgeoning to death with a stale baguette or even a fish.
deadpool: never did like fish sandwiches, though he doesn’t really need them when he has plenty of his own close range weapons, like pocket knifes, kitchen knife, machetes, a katana, a chainsaw, a shredder glove, a cane with a metal top and his iconic crowbar, great for beating the life out of your pesky enemies annoying kid in tights.
sheldon: he also has numerous guns, such as pistols, ak-47s, tommy guns, shotguns, automatic rifles, flamethrowers, a long barrelled gun with enough power to down the batwing, grenade launchers, rocket launchers, boxing glove guns (taking notes from Hawkeye i see), grappling hooks, harpoons and his iconic trick pow gun… which just so happens to fire out a pow flag with a sharp edge to it.
popup: while his vehicles are not allowed he does still have a jetpack for a quick getaway.
deadpool: stick around, this isn’t nearly as wild as his arsenal can get, he has wind up teeth that can chomp threw bone, explosive gum, explosive/acidic pies, and various explosives like dynamite, cartoon style bombs and c4, he is even a master at disguising them as simple objects like a baby doll, he likely has enough to destroy a city.
sheldon: actually he only needs one to do so, that’s right joker has an actual nuke on hand that can completely reduce metropolis to rubble, or potentially worth 10 megatons, likely from his time as an ambassador for Iran.
deadpool: he has a joy buzzer that can reduce a human to a charred skeleton in seconds, a flower on his shirt filled with highly corrosive acid, various fake body parts that are likely filled with explosives or knockout gas to surprise someone, a Batman doll with a gun inside, a jack in the box that can tear off your head, and even a couple kryptonite weapons.
sheldon: he even has access to some of scarecrows fear gas, which can make someone see they’re absolute worst fear, but this isn’t nearly as bad as jokers own trump card… oh right he has razor sharp playing cards, though this isn’t it.
deadpool: the laughing gas, all it takes is a single puff and your face will contort into a monstrous position of glee as you continue laughing until you suffocate to death, this stuff is potent enough to even work on the flash, whose body can rapidly filter out dangerous chemicals in milliseconds, and superman, who is outright immune to almost all toxins, yet they were completely overwhelmed by this stuff, hell joker himself is completely fine in it, and has a high immunity to most other toxins as well, including poison ivy’s, which can kill a person in seconds.
popup: he also has a more concentrated version in a syringe to directly inject into a person.
sheldon: this likely has something to do with jokers greatest ability, his craziness, it literally allows him to completely resist mind control, and dc is a world with people who can brainwash an entire planet in a unit of Planck time.
popup: he also likely has a resistance too soul attacking as he has fought numerous characters with such move.
deadpool: it also gives him stupidly high pain tolerance, the guys cut his own mouth open, ripped of his face, been slammed around by plenty of characters who should be strong enough to reduce him to paste, had his organs pierced, had his bones shattered, been shot numerous times, been hit right through the brain tissue and been stabbed in the eye, all of which he’s just laughed off.
popup: this pairs well with his access to an element called dionesium which can allow regeneration strong enough to recover from a shattered back and shredded face.
sheldon: I mean he should certainly scale to the explosion Batman survived which was calced at 60 tons of tnt, hell he himself has survived several injustice super moves, like being struck with a lightning bolt strong enough to destroy a pyramid, or being tossed by supergirl from the sun back to earth while being hit by her laser and blasting through several meteors.
popup: he obviously cannot scale whatsoever to the universe level dc characters, that said his intelligence has still let him keep up with foes on that level.
deadpool: now while this will be a rough estimate, we are pretty sure that would put jokers durability at around 46708333 megatons of tnt.
popup: this is adapted from death battles calc in samurai jack vs Afro samurai, both did take a similar amount of time so we just multiplied that number by how much bigger the distance was, it is also likely the low end as we have no idea how much more force the laser and meteors added.
sheldon: i mean it would explain how he’s walked away from damage done by several dc heavy hitters, and how he’s kept up with batmans skill despite the guy being well versed in every martial art in the world.
popup: he’s also kept up with the cast of mortal kombat, who have highly trained decades old ninja as well as characters who are capable of “planet shaking”.
deadpool: when it comes to jokers best direct strength feat it would have to come from the joker anniversary comic, in which he successfully lifted a human sized statue made out of gold and tossed it several feat.
sheldon: obviously joker much prefers landing surprise attacks and tricking/manipulating his enemies into his hands, that said to be able to surprise attack his enemies he would need to still be able to have a similar speed to the amount they can react at, and considering most dc street tiers are able to dodge lasers or react within nanoseconds its no surprise.
deadpool: i mean he took Wonder Woman by surprise, who can react at 50 quintillion times the speed of light.
sheldon: this isn’t actually an outlier seeing as Batman himself has dodged darkseids omega beams, which move faster than darkseid himself would move, and he crossed the entire dc universe in five seconds, and considering it was the same distance and time as the pieces of the shattered god Wonder Woman reacted to this should be similar.
popup: there’s also evidence that the dc universe could be infinite in size and contains numerous other infinitely sized dimensions, joker has also in some stuff fought the ‘faster than the concept of speed’ flash, supporting it.
deadpool: he’s even caught lanterns off guard, who can scan their entire universe in a heartbeat, goddamn.
sheldon: and even if joker is caught off guard and almost taken down he has three different forms from different continuities he can use as back-up.
popup: we would have said five if emperor joker and joker mask weren’t too op to use here.
deadpool: we’re gonna be listing these in the order of how they would do against each other, first up, hailing from the video games, we have titan joker.
sheldon: this form is provided by an experimental serum also known as titan, which he injects by hitting himself with a really colourful gun, it is essentially a far more potent copy of the bane serum, this form boosts his strength and durability greatly, turning him into a super buff monstrosity with sharp claws.
popup: while it did end up infecting him so that he would die after a while, that was Arkham joker, who has none of the resistances to toxins this semi composite one has, not too mention it seemed as though to take ages so he would still be fine either way.
deadpool: it is stated to be a greater boost than venom, which provides a ten times strength increase, that being said there is a reason this form is his lowest.
sheldon: it leaves several weak point open like an exposed rib cage or spine, and it seems as though to only last a couple minutes, both pretty bad weaknesses for it.
deadpool: it’s also solely a brute and gets rid of jokers overall creativeness and versatility, and it also just cannot stack up too his other forms.
sheldon: next up is the one originating from the judge dread crossover, his death judge form, also known as judge joker, now we should probably mention that this one is his most complex to become, but it essentially required a dimensional transportation device he has access to and merging with a corpse.
deadpool: yeah, but while most complex to enter, it’s definitely worth entering, he gets greatly enhanced strength, enough to rip a human to shreds or tear through titanium, it has a form of immortality that makes it unable to be killed by conventional means, and the thing that puts it above titan joker is easily its demonic laugh, which is powerful enough too burst the heads of dozens of nearby citizens.
sheldon: but again this form cannot last as the powers were taken away and the dimensional device required is kinda defective, that said we have one more thing to cover.
popup: something we forgot too mention was that he also has two suits, a armoured shredder one called the laughing man, and his own batman costume with similar armour, scanners, batarangs and explosives.
deadpool: oh yeah, hailing from the infinite frontiers comic, all it requires is the application of a measly ring, yellow lantern joker… ok in the comic he was actually pretty crap and ended up getting bitchslapped but the abilities and simplicity more than make up for it.
sheldon: specifically it provides the ability to create yellow constructs of light, it even has an armour around his body made of the stuff, it also becomes stronger the more fear is nearby, and even allows for flight.
popup: you could also make an argument for it having the abilities of other lantern users like portal creation, time travel and phasing, but its up to speedy.
deadpool: and if he wants too finish things off he obviously has his injustice super move.
sheldon: one in which he hits you with a canister of gas, knocking you into an electric chair, hits you with a crowbar, starts electrocuting it and finally sets off the dynamite underneath.
deadpool: with all of this going for him its a wonder the guy has never killed batman before.
sheldon: not exactly, his own craziness has led to his downfall, he commonly betrays people he could require for help, and he is pretty arrogant and underestimates anyone who isn’t batman, but probably the biggest reason is that he doesn’t actually want to kill batman.
deadpool: uhh, what?
sheldon: yep, all of his insane diabolical tricks, all his murders and manipulations, all of it is to get batman to finally kill him, to make a pure good hero forsake their views and become just as ruthless as him, likely due to the gas released from his death which will make someone into another joker, for in his eyes all it takes to set someone off, is one bad day.
deadpool: this is why the guy gets scared when confronted by someone whose about to kill him and doesn’t care about it, this is why he started the events of injustice, and with batman being the guy who he wants, this is why he has helped batman take down other villains before like the batman who laughs.
sheldon: and he almost got what he wanted when he brought a literal war to Gotham, complete devastation and carnage, there was very few survivors, he had finally gotten the batman down on his knees, but there was only one problem.
deadpool: his ex, Harley Quinn, she came in and saved batman while giving him an ultimatum through tying a bomb too the madman and to herself, forcing batman to choose, this ultimately gave the dark knight the opportunity to finally leave in the ground without forsaking his values, as he left the clown tied to the explosive to save the ex-villian, and joker was left without his massive grin on his face, he had ultimately failed in the end.
sheldon: except it was revealed later that joker was able to get himself out, so yeah that was for nothing, so ultimately that madman is still out in the world, and you do not want the smiles he has to put on your face.
joker: hehehehehe, hahahahahahaha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Sweet Tooth[]
Virus : Where the hell am I? Did I haywire again? Yeah I bet a haywired again. Third time this month.
Plaguis : Sir it might be because whenever you're bored you go to the nearest city and just go wild.
Virus : Plaguis I will not apologize for art. The city denied my request to add flying cars so I made it have no cars.
Speedy : *He throws a few notebooks at them* Get back on script or I swear to god my house is gonna have two new decorations!
Virus : Geez fine. Even though we were kidnapped by a bee and a grey speaking box thing we'll do it.
Plaguis : Don't you enjoy ice cream? I personally don't but alot of people do. Be warned don't take ice cream from this mean clown machine.
Virus : A clown? How scary can he be-
Virus : Eh still not scary. Anyways this clown known as Needles Kane or Sweet Tooth. Is a twisted deranged killer determined to win the Twisted Metal game.
Plaguis : Actually he was pretty normal at first. He was selling ice cream.
Virus : Really? Tell me the twist.
Plaguis : Until he went crazy and murdered anyone even his wife and child.
Virus : This clown has some dedication. Gotta admire that!
Plaguis : He was than found and added to Twisted Metal tournament! Basically the purge but-
Virus : With giant mechs, god damn missiles, and getting your own wish!
Plaguis : If you win of course...and going up against Needles will surely make your chances thinner than my chances of getting payed. Speaking of Virus can I have my paych-
Virus: ANYWAYS back onto the important stuff! *He fucking shoots Plaguis with a gun*
*From the background Jollibee and Announcer recording begin to speak*
Jollibee : Ahhh fuck siya ay patay na... malinis natin ito kalaunan.
Announcer: I can finally sell his organs for profit. Wowie such a good day.
Virus : Sweet Tooth being in a twisted tournament would need the most deadliest weapons out there! Which he does. The weapons he has it the following!
His iconic machete great for close quarters combat to rip the foe apart! (Also works well as a butter knife)
Rocket launchers which can do lots of damage to your body! Assuming you have any left to show the damage.
A shotgun which can easily do heavy damage at a short distance!
The classic chainsaw but the one wielding this is even crazier than Leatherface! Not as crazy as goose though. Those things are evil.
And he even has plenty of landmines which will make sure everyone pays attention to where they're stepping! And if they do step on it well they can't make the same mistake again. Ever!
Virus: Now we're onto his AMAZING ice cream truck! Which we will sadly not use in this battle.
Virus : Sweet Tooth has won many accomplishments over his time! He won the Twisted Metal tournament multiple times, he killed someone named Calypso TWO times! Was able to kill an entire hospital (Wowie talk about killing someone while they're down), he somehow broke reinforced windows throwing people at them, even ran Twisted Metal once, and he...survived the electric chair somehow?
*Plaguis gets up apparently fully healed?!*
Plaguis : However even psychopaths who are literal tanks!-
Virus : How are you not dead?
Plaguis : Why were you made?
Virus : Fair point.
Plaguis : He is not immortal and can be killed, most powerful kills were done in his ice cream truck which again is not being used, and Sweet Tooth is not the brightest of the bunch!
Virus : But no matter what if you see this ice cream man coming towards you RUN.
Needles: Shut up and BLEED you motherfu-
Virus : Onto Ayano!
Plaguis : You couldn't even let him finish his quote?
Virus : Nope!
Ayano Aishi[]
HABIT: Ayano Aishi was born with no emotions and lived a dull life. Her family wasn't the best psychologically considering her mother was a yandere that kidnapped Ayano's father and murdered someone.
Toby: Ayano's life became better when she met Taro Yamada, another boy at her school who is usually dubbed "Senpai". She developed a crush on him and like her mother, vowed to get rid of anyone who tried to take him away from her...
Steve: This crazy bitch doesn't have much in terms of backstory other than that, so let's get straight to discussing her weapons. Ayano, being a serial killer, is well equipped. She can be seen wielding a trusty ax, baseball bat, whatever the hell a bokken is-
Herobrine: A bokken is a Japanese wooden sword that is usually used for combat training.
Steve: Yeah, that. Anyway, she also carries a box cutter, circular saw that she usually uses to dismember and dispose of body parts, crowbar, fantasy sword, katana, knife, pipe, magical girl wand since lol Japan, another ax but this time it will probably give you tetanus, ritual knife, scissors, screwdriver, whatever a shinai is-
Herobrine: A shinai is basically a bokken but made out of bamboo instead of wood.
Steve: Yeah, back to listing her weapons, and hopefully I won't get interrupted this time. Anyway, her weapons also consist of a shovel, sword, syringe that can be used to knock someone out or kill them with poison, and basically anything she can get her hands on.
HABIT: Ayano has shown pretty decent stealth, she can murder people with sneak attacks and can move around after these murders with nobody noticing.
Toby: She has something called "SNAP Mode" which happens when Ayano gets heartbroken. She will enter a state that causes her to become way more powerful before killing Senpai, shortly before herself.
Satoshi: Wow... Yandere-Chan has something called Yandere Vision, which makes it so people can be outlined for her, she can even see through walls with this!
Steve: If Ayano kills someone using a occult knife then puts the knife onto a altar, she can summon demons. Uh, it doesn't help much but if she completes the Fire Demon's task, she can shoot fire out of her hands. If she completes the Pain Demon's task, she can summon hands out of the ground that will immediately dismember anyone they come in contact with. If she completes the Empty Demon's task, she can summon them and watch as they eat someone Ayano sent them after before disappearing.
Yuka: Ayano can easily duel with delinquents, teachers, and martial artists, is the fastest runner at her school, and can move heavy dumpsters.
Toby: She can easily snap people's necks in SNAP mode, hehe. Anyway, in SNAP mode, she can also tear through people's chests. The demons she can summon can eat humans and tear them to pieces.
Herobrine: Ayano Aishi is no slouch in intelligence either, she can learn to mimic emotions, frame people for her crimes, and eliminate ten students over the span of a few weeks without being suspected by the police.
HABIT: Of course, Ayano still has faults. She has no combat experience, is dedicated to protecting her senpai, is still a normal teenage girl so can be taken out by normal means, and SNAP mode will result in her offing herself.
Toby: Unless you want to be at the end of a katana, don't mess with Ayano or her senpai!
Ayano Aishi: I haven't harmed her...yet.
Chris McLean[]
Wiz: If you've ever watched the TV series Survivor, you'd probably figure out that Total Drama has the exact same way the show works.
Boomstick: Except instead of fully grown adults competing in challenges in order to save themselves from being eliminated, it's a bunch of teenagers doing it.
Wiz: However, the host of this show is not your typical Jeff Probst. His actions and rules for his show are far more dangerous than what you see in Survivor.
Boomstick: Total Drama is hosted by one of, if not, the most diabolical TV celebrities out there. The host with the most himself, Chris McLean.
Wiz: Now Chris doesn't really have much of a background but one thing's for certain, he only has one goal on his mind: to become the most successful man on TV.
Boomstick: And his way of doing this, he tries to reach this goal by almost killing a bunch of teenagers. Just imagine Chris of all people as the host of Squid Game. Things are gonna go downhill really f*cking fast for all 456 contestants there.
Wiz: Let me point this out real quick, that smile of his is not a friendly one at all. Don't think winning Total Drama is gonna be easy because he's gonna make things as difficult and brutal as possible just for his amusement.
Boomstick: Trust us. This man's smile isn't as pleasant as it seems. Even so, this guy just seems like nothing more but a completely average middle aged man.
Wiz: Surprisingly, that's not entirely the case. Chris has a lot of arsenal to back him up.
Boomstick: Really?
Wiz: Yep. Chris' most notable items would easily be explosives, particularly dynamite which have been used to blow a yacht which took about 49 megajoules to destroy. However, when he gets into physical combat he equips his boxing gloves which are...well, not that interesting.
Boomstick: What's really interesting is that he wields a water gun but wait for it. The water is literally strong enough to push a fully grown adult extremely far from its user. Good way to keep everyone social distancing during these screwed up times.
Wiz: With his Meatball Cannon, Chris can trap his foes in a gigantic ball of meat which is sticky enough to keep them still until they finally break free.
Boomstick: It's gonna take a while to get out though. Chris even trolled the remaining contestants of Total Drama Action into thinking he was actually dead. However, it turns out that it was just a fake rubber statue of a deceased version of him. Well played.
Wiz: The seagull machine gun fires many seagulls which travel fast enough to gain enough strength to knock down his targets with some medium difficulty.
Boomstick: That's not all. His Tennis Menace is a robotic tennis ball launcher which is stated to be the world's toughest tennis launcher which servers tennis balls at his foes with a lot of strength...and that's it. Oh yeah. He has a normal paintball gun too but what really stands out from the rest of Chris' arsenal is his army of robot doppelgangers.
Wiz: The Robot Chris army may all look exactly like Chris himself but it's easy to tell it's not him once their eyes turn red. Though, they all may have been easily destroyed by Shaun before they could pull an attack on him or his friends.
Boomstick: That doesn't matter since he's pretty tough even without any of his items. After all, Chris fought off Ezekiel at the top of a Hawaiian volcano before he could be the one to fall into the lava. Plus, he caused a bear to break free from Ella's singing manipulation.
Wiz: Surprisingly enough, Chris has shown to react to lasers, can hack into the PA system of Area 51 and can lift and throw a fully grown human.
Boomstick: He was also strong enough to knock out Owen with a frying pan twice, stood near a plane explosion which he and a few remaining contestants survived and even took some hits from Eva and even Chef.
Wiz: The things that really make Chris not all that great is that he's not much of a fighter and is better at manipulating others rather than getting into hand to hand combat with them. He also worries too much about his looks and is practically a coward.
Boomstick: All it took for Chef to take down Chris was just a single punch to the face and he had to rely on others to set him free after being kidnapped by Ezekiel.
Wiz: With the views for Total Drama continuously rising, Chris still tries to become reality TV's most successful host by doing what he does best.
Boomstick: By starting the one thing Squid Game is known best for: creating deadly challenges. This grinning monster for a human rarely shows any mercy to his foes.
Chris: It's great to be back, surrounded by the people I love ...to hurt! Ha ha ha!
Springtrap[]
sheldon: who doesn’t love getting a slice to eat from their favourite pizzeria, and back in the 80s there was none quite so famous as freddy fazbears, famous for being one of the first restaurants with fully functioning animatronics.
Deadpool: it was a long running restaurant chain started by co-founders Michael Belton and William aft on, the two were long running friends who started it in an attempt to make a lot of people happy.
popup: William also had a loving family with a wife, son and daughter, im sure nothing terrible happened to any of them and that they weren’t like merged into other animatronics or anything.
Sheldon: and it worked, i mean its not like behind the scenes there was some dark horrible secrets being kept from everyone or anything like that, no siree.
deadpool: i mean hey, at first it wasn’t, until five kids went missing, and oddly enough a weird smell started coming from the suits as gunk began leaking out, odd since organic material shouldn’t be inside them whatsoever, and then the night guards also started disappearing, and it happened with more suits.
sheldon: and then when William was alone in the resteraunt he was confronted by five… child… ghosts.
deadpool: yup, turns out Afton here, or as most now call him, purple guy, had in fact been responsible for the disappearance of those kids, he had stuffed their bodies in the animatronic suits and those had ended up killing the night guards, though now those little wippersnappers were confronted with the man who had killed them, and there was no way they weren’t gonna take revenge.
sheldon: but before any of that could happen, William decided to hide himself by getting in his own suit, the spring-bonnie suit, unfortunately it had a bunch of spring locks inside that jammed into his flesh, rending skin from bones and causing an agonisingly slow death, ending the life of the (snickers) purple… guy.
(all of a sudden both start laughing)
deadpool: yeah we all know that never happened, instead aftons soul merged with the machine, and so now the man behind the slaughter had become, springtrap.
popup: he should technically still have access to all of Williams weapons like an axe, knife and some of his own spring locks.
sheldon: as an animatronic his body is obviously encased within metal providing an enhanced physic, and considering even as a human William could tear apart animatronics made of steel/possibly titanium this is pretty impressive.
popup: despite his clunky size springtrap is still very stealthy, commonly relying on that more than just brute force.
deadpool: he’s broken another animatronics jaw, which is pretty impressive as they are strong enough to crush bone and skulls.
sheldon: he likely also compares to the other animatronics who are able to casually toss around arcade machines, which should weigh roughly between 150-450 pounds.
deadpool: other animatronics have also tanked a cave collapsing on top of them, which should reach potentially 5 tons of tnt.
sheldon: springtrap himself has tanked the pizzeria collapsing on top of himself, or just under 2 tons of tnt (building level)
deadpool: he would also likely compare to later animatronics who are able to bust down walls or catch a ginormous bucket, though these feats honestly ain’t that big.
popup: he does have a feat of surviving a tornado that destroyed a town, however looking closer into the feat we have no idea how he survived it and it obviously didn’t destroy the entire town in a single hit, at best I would give it 10 tons of tnt and even that’s questionable.
sheldon: he also likely compares to foxy, who can run at 13m/s, but there’s actually a better speed feat for fnaf from two different Freddie’s
deadpool: specifically we are talking about Freddy being able to cross the entire restaurant in seconds and glamrock crossing the mall to get too you in… also seconds.
popup: there may appear as though to be flaws with these feats as it was stated that Freddy specifically requires max temperature and the other is just gameplay mechanics, however Freddy would still need too react that fast to do so and other characters in sb can also do similar stuff.
sheldon: both being faster than eyesight feats, which is supported by the fact that jumpscares usually start by the animatronics appearing in the room without you seeing it.
popup: while we’re here I’ll explain three fnaf speed arguments that don’t quite work,
- William can move around as data: no reason too suspect his physical form can match that speed.
- several fnaf stuff uses electricity: it usually blitzes the animatronics.
- the sb robots have avoided the laser gun hitting their eyes: not so much avoid as they require a precise aim and that game is very glitchy.
deadpool: ok now, would you believe us if we said stats weren’t his only stuff he has.
sheldon: first of all is his control over other animatronics, while he originally had his own ones that he could control like the phantoms and twisted it was later shown that he could simply take control over any animatronic he saw, even if through a security camera.
deadpool: and the animatronics aren’t just lifeless automatons, but sentient machines who have shown actual feeling.
popup: supporting this hacking ability, he has successfully made cameras glitch as he went off screen
sheldon: yep, though he still has access to the ones we had just mentioned.
deapool: the phantom animatronics are… well just that, phantoms, they can’t exactly do anything too physically hurt you but they can surprise you and disable your technology, further supporting that that’s a power he always had. They consist off phantom freddy, phantom chica and phantom foxy.
sheldon: and then there’s the twisted animatronics, which have a… well twisted look compared to regular ones, specifically many monstrous teeth and several organic pieces, they also have an illusion disc inside them that lets out a specific frequency that can change what a person sees.
popup: Vanny who held Williams power also had the ability too change what a person sees and make reality seem warped, it is a possibility this is how she done so.
deadpool: they also have the advantage of being actually tangible unlike the phantoms, and are extremely violent and loyal, though also easily provoked, these consist off twisted Freddy, bonnie, foxy and wolf… who da fuck is twisted wolf?
popup: while never shown it is implied there is also a twisted chica who has two twisted cupcake companions.
sheldon: he also has some weird absorption power, the guy could absorb a forklift at one point in the book, only there’s a few things we wanna talk about for it.
deadpool: yeah, first of all is that this ability likely only works on metal, as that’s the only things it’s been used in, his own body is made of metal and he had numerous opportunities too do so on flesh, so yeah he can only do so on metal.
sheldon: it also takes time to perform as he has still been attacked with metal stuff like bullets, meaning he likely has too react to them and successfully grab hold of the metal in question… so yeah it’s not that op a power but still worth mentioning.
deadpool: anyway he can also cloak himself, which is essentially invisibility except the eyes stay visible, that said he may want you too see his eyes as animatronics can stun people who look into their eyes in the books.
sheldon: if that’s not all the guy also has an enraged form known an dark springtrap who he can transform into whenever he’s angry, likely providing a slight stat boost.
deadpool: speaking of other forms he does have access to a few from special delivery, admittedly none provide any real boost and also seem as though to just allow him a few stuff to carry and use.
sheldon: first up is toxic springtrap, who is purple and appears as though to have a poisonous aura, which is possibly toxic but we have no idea.
deadpool: then there’s a flaming springtrap whose entire body is lit on fire, oh and the guy doesn’t even care about it showing he has an immunity too fire, it also likely superheats his hits.
sheldon: then there’s clown springtrap, who wears a clown suit and carries around a ginormous mallet that can likely reduce a person to paste if he lands the blow.
deadpool: and finally there is ancient springtrap who has a lot of defence with its tribal armour and shield, jeez I wonder if anyone ever managed too beat this guy.
sheldon: yes actually, specifically his son Micheal who killed the both of them in the destruction of one of the restaurants, but being killed once wasn’t good enough for Cassidy, the fifth child and golden Freddy, who ended up trapping William in his own personal purgatory where he was forced to repeat dealing with every single animatronic for all eternity.
popup: as Springtrap is a similar animatronic too golden Freddy he possibly also has this ability too bfr a persons soul, that said it is very vague and likely requires the persons body too already be killed.
deadpool: but even this wasn’t enough too take down afton as he would later come back, likely meaning he has some resistance too soul based bfr (battlefield removal).
popup: while in there he got something called a death coin, however while it can eliminate an animatronic it is quite vague on how it works, can only affect some of them and can only be used once.
sheldon: the source of which likely coming from the ability we’ve been dancing around long enough, his immortality, which is due too a specific substance known simply as remnant.
deadpool: it’s essentially a purplish mercury like substance which can bond the soul with metal, it is incredibly vague but it does have some other abilities William could have access to thanks to seeming as though to have the best control over the stuff.
popup: he also carried a syringe of it when still William afton.
sheldon: probably one of the most common usages of it is it’s an ability to increase your power through whichever emotion your fee… this is the reason he can turn into dark springtrap isn’t it… well it can also power someone up with positive emotions as well.
deadpool: it also has a more obscure ability of being able to summon this thing called RWQFSFASXC which is a weird shadow bonnie… meh.
sheldon: anyway it also appears as though to have had another affect on the man behind the slaughter, a true form.
deadpool: huh.
sheldon: ok so the immortality given by remnant isn’t regeneration, you can’t come back to your old body if it’s destroyed, instead it allows his soul to constantly persist after death.
deadpool: ok, so you mean glitchtrap, but that’s not…
sheldon: no not glitchtrap, infact glitchtrap isn’t actually an alternate form whatsoever, its powers are all abilities that William has already been implied to have.
deadpool: huh, I guess that’s why it appears as the suit William wore when he first started, that’s just how he always imagined himself looking.
sheldon: that’s more of a theory but yeah, but what he really looks like is just a massive black mass of glitchy pixels, admittedly he can’t fight as this but still.
deadpool: yeah, and while he was like this the guy would ultimately continue his legacy through possessing night guard Vanessa, however he would ultimately be stopped by a little boy playing a video game that he was in, destroying Williams code and freeing her, and uh this time it seems as though to be it, the guys finally actually gone.
sheldon: yes, admittedly however that game wasn’t made that long ago, meaning it’s entirely possible William could once again return, ready to exact his never ending vengeance upon the world, it’s as he always says…
Spring trap: i always come back.
Sideshow Bob[]
deadpool: let’s be honest here, there’s very few people who don’t know about the simpsons, it’s one of the longest running shows out there and the most well known adult animation, other ones have literally talked about them and likely made a reference to them at some point or other, it’s that good.
sheldon: indeed, and very few shows can get to the level they have gotten too without some well written and well known villain, of course they actually have quite a few.
deadpool: oh yeah, be it a megalomaniacal billionaire, Italian mob boss, an average jailbird, a wealthy love rival and those various monsters from halloween, simpsons is in no short supply of bad guys, but there’s one who stands above all the others, literally, the guy has been is the highest up villain in several poles, his name, sideshow Bob.
sheldon: real name Robert underdunk terwilliger, jr., Bob for short. He would start of working for the clown krusty… when he went with his brother who wanted to become his new sideshow.
deadpool: yeah except the clown found his brother a tad too bland and then found that Bob would likely be a good choice and would be very unlikely too upstage him, which is actually a fairly easy thing to do, this would ultimately grant him his long running title of sideshow Bob.
sheldon: and the two would become a pretty iconic tv duo, with Bob normally ending up as the but of the jokes, commonly getting pies to the face, being shot out of a cannon and being forced to do various other demeaning actions, however opportunity would soon shine down on his face as krusty ended up robbing a store, no idea why a celebrity would do that but Bob would end up getting full control over the show.
deadpool: and he definitely done better than krusty at it, he added a high level of class to the show and ended up getting it much higher ratings, but ultimately this moment of spotlight would not last, and a disturbing truth was soon revealed.
sheldon: so turns out Bob had actually disguised himself as krusty, and framed him for the crime committed so that he could get the show, though not actually for the reason you all are thinking.
deadpool: yeah, the guy found out that Krusty was just using his money for bars and strip joints and that he honestly did not care that much about his fans aside from the fame they gifted the undeserving bastard, and the fact that the money came from his own physical abuse, well Bob just hated that… wait so he hates a tv presenter who was solely in it for the fame and enjoyed torturing others to get it… hmm, that doesn’t sound like anyone else here.
sheldon: and as mentioned he actually made a show for a bunch of people to enjoy with his sophisticated nature, honestly when we say it like this it kinda makes Bob sound like a good guy, but the law didn’t see it that way, and due to some quite big slip ups (that he almost found arguments against for all of them) the guy was sent to jail by a small boy, one that would soon haunt him through all of his future plots.
deadpool: and boy did bart start messing up his plans, he’s pretended to be in love with Selma to get her money, only for Bart to figure out exactly how he would and stop it, he became mayor of Springfield by rigging the election and making his enemies lives miserable, only for Bart and Lisa to reveal how he done so, and finally he threatened to nuke Springfield so that they would destroy television, only to once again, you guessed it, be foiled by the simpsons kids.
sheldon: Bob had finally had enough of this, he was now out for vengeance against the child who would constantly plague his life every turn he took, and to do so he needed some pretty good skills.
deadpool: the first of which is very clearly his acting, he’s a master of deception and trickery, able to fool an entire town multiple times, convincing them all that he was a good/broken man who didn’t deserve what had happened to him.
popup: while most of Springfield is filled with idiots, they still have numerous genuinely intelligent characters.
sheldon: this can translate to combat with the fact that he can convince everyone that he was dead, which he could follow up with a surprise attack, or he can also convince them that he isn’t actually Bob and is someone else, something he has done numerous times, thanks to the fact that his face lacks nerves and can be cut off without a lot of pain he can even put others faces on to do this, it also helps that all he needs is to hear them talk a few times to fully mimic their voice entirely.
popup: his hair is so big that he can even disguise himself as a bush, admittedly this does require low lighting and for the glance to only be a quick glance.
deadpool: I mean hey, he’s also got contortion skills, able to fit into incredibly tight spaces, and would make himself incredibly slippery to actually grab, he was apparently able to condense his body to such a size that he fit into a clown car with fifty other clowns as well.
sheldon: he’s even a master of hypnosis, able to fully control a town with subtle influencing, or more straight forward hypnosis with a pocket watch, he can even make a makeshift hypnotiser with an arrow and target, he can hypnotise someone thoroughly enough to get them to kill their biggest icon and themselves.
deadpool: he has a certain level of investigative skills and has a keen eye, as seen from the time he figured out who was trying to kill homer with just a few barely concentrated on clues.
sheldon: he’s obviously got high intelligence, enough to have a phd and an English major, is well versed in most plays and can sing an entire plays soundtrack purely from memory, even recounting the exact actions, and he is a master of the opera and other talents, he’s even skilled in inventing and a master manipulator and chemist and geneticist.
deadpool: speaking off genetics, when given a community service sentence he went to work with a genetics company working on making bio-organic vegetables, and while there Bob decided to experiment on himself, giving himself numerous abilities and enhanced physicality.
sheldon: he can leap large distances with grasshopper genes, likely also increasing his overall leg strength, he has sonar to find wherever someone is hiding, gills that mean he can breath underwater, and even just overall enhanced senses.
Sheldon: he also has the ability to stretch his jaw with this and contains some dna from the zombie ant fungus, which can give him uncontrollable rage, but back to that enhanced strength, he became strong enough to physically catch and toss a Calder mobile quite casually, which weighs 920 pounds.
popup: Bob also has a minor level of toonforce healing, able to recover from various bruises off screen, he can also potentially compare to the other Simpsons level of healing which can allow them to survive cutting and beheading in some episodes (though it has been very inconsistent)
deadpool: it does likely mean he can upscale from most other characters in the show, like homer who can move around a boulder 30 times bigger than himself, he greatly struggled, but still.
sheldon: though thats nothing compared to the time Lisa was able to pull along a black hole like it was nothing, those can weigh 10 octillion tons.
popup: while it happened in a treehouse of horror, there was nothing to suggest anyone was stronger than they usually are.
deadpool: i mean he should also compare to the other simpsons in terms of durability and speed, for durability there has been several occasions of the characters shrugging off town level hits, and there’s also some other evidence that also suggests simpsons characters can get to the kiloton level such as the family tanking several cases of town wide destruction and homer beating a sea monster stated to be able to destroy the Great Barrier Reef.
popup: in one of the comics homer was able to shrug off a universe destroying attack, though this may be a bit questionable for bob to scale to due to the overall inconsistency of homer, we included the town level stuff as there are a couple of feats that are all on that level.
sheldon: bob should also upscale to Marge, who was once able to block a laser fired by an Alexa with a mirror (showing it was actually light in nature), heck in another episode the simpsons were able to pilot a ship that took them to some other planet outside of there solar system, potentially granting speeds of around hundreds of times the speed of light.
popup: there are a few immeasurable simpsons speed feats, such as homer outrunning the omnipresent god, moe moving within stopped time, homer outrunning the finger which can travel to other universes, and even a few moving within void feats, that said they are again questionable for Bob to scale to.
Deadpool: these stats pair quite well with his stamina and endurance, he’s walked through a whole parking lot constantly getting hit by rakes after having been under a car for several hours constantly bumping his head on the road, and was barely worse for wear, not too mention how he’s been able to keep singing for numerous hours non-stop and easily survived being stomped on by an entire parade, which had elephants in it.
popup: he’s also survived being shocked numerous times by a shock collar in an episode, potentially around thirty times or higher.
sheldon: all of what was just mentioned actually happened in the same episode by the way, oh and don’t think skills and stats is all he has, bobs utilised numerous different weapons in his appearances.
deadpool: he’s most iconically known for using a kitchen knife, one that can easily cut through flesh, and he’s also been implied to have a gun.
popup: he is quite good at just using any random weapon in his immediate vicinity as well.
sheldon: he has also used a machete, a spear gun, darts (playing and blow) and technically has used an arrow though only stuck it into a target to use hypnosis.
deadpool: and it gets slightly weirder from here, as mentioned he has various items for hypnosis, he also has dud nukes that could trick someone into thinking they were real, in the video game he carries around a cooked chicken that can easily restore health, heck he even has a small steamroller and a lion.
popup: in a treehouse of horror he had a machine capable of regenerating someone (even from being completely cut up into shreds), that said they need to be placed in and the machine has to be turned on, meaning he won’t just be coming back to life.
sheldon: he has a drug that can mimic a death like state, and in one of the simpsons comics he had his own personal army of robot monkeys, and lastly an exploding computer.
deadpool: but there is one thing he holds over everyone else here no matter what happens in the fight, he got better.
sheldon: yeah, despite all those crazy schemes to kill the Simpson kid, he ultimately ended up on good terms with him, even having saved his life and helped him figure out the culprit for several crimes, he’s even directly stated that the reason he hasn’t killed bart is because he’d grown used to his face.
deadpool: he even ended up starting a family, and as of his latest appearance in the show is currently an owner of a lighthouse and has started joining in local entertainment such as plays.
sheldon: though there is a chance he’ll revert back to his past self due to inconsistent writing, but maybe not, maybe he’s now really just a helpful side character, or he may even just not come back any longer, only time will tell with this beautifully voiced man.
sideshow Bob: these feet were made for stomping, and that’s just what they’ll do, and one of these days these feet are gonna stomp all over you.
Junko Enoshima[]
Wiz: Hope's Peak Academy. The best school of Japan. If you ever wanted to attend this school you'll have be the best you're good at and you still have to be attending high school.
Boomstick: Yeah, Hope's Peak used to be your average academy but things have changed about it now. If you wanted to graduate, you'd have to kill one of your classmates without getting caught. If all of your classmates are gone, you're out of there!
Wiz: All of this is because of a small black and white robotic bear named Monokuma. However, it's not like he was controlling himself. He was being controlled by the Mastermind itself.
Boomstick: The Mastermind was none other than the Ultimate Fashonista herself, Junko Enoshima.
Wiz: As children, Junko and her twin sister Mukuro Ikusaba lived in abject conditions and were eventually homeless. She even started to feel like her birth was a mistake.
Boomstick: Well judging from the what she'll cause in the future, it probably was a mistake. Anyways, she started to become bored with the world until she had a new interest. An interest in despair.
Wiz: This is because she thinks it's unpredictable and exciting.
Boomstick: What is wrong with her?! What's so exciting about despair?! I'm pretty sure she was dropped as a kid before she and Mukuro became homeless.
Wiz: Years later, Junko started her career as a model in her teens year. This meant she became an idol across all of Japan. While she was still attending high school, Junko was invited to attend Hope's Peak Academy as the Ultimate Fashonista along with Mukuro who was known as the Ultimate Soldier.
Boomstick: While she was still there, she created Monokuma who would be part of The Tragedy in the future and once the principal was no more, she would not only be the Mastermind of Hope's Peak but would also have a second title known as the Ultimate Despair.
Wiz: Junko has shown to wield a baseball bat at times and she also wields an ice pick and a knife of her own. These are commonly used for stabs if anyone gets to close to her.
Boomstick: She can also use her grenades for explosions. There's also the Spears of Gungnir. They're spears and...that's it. It's a good thing she has all of the items that are used for the Ultimate Punishment.
Wiz: The Ultimate Punishment includes the 1000 Blows which is a baseball shooting cannon, the Cage of Death is a giant electric cage with a motorcycle that spins around the interior of it.
Boomstick: The Burning of the Versailles Witch includes an area full of flames where Junko's victims are trapped in until they're crushed by a firetruck. The Excavator Destroyer is an excavator that uses its claw to bash someone's head.
Wiz: Blast Off is a metal rocket ship that flies directly into space until it crashed back down to Earth, turning Junko's targets into a mere skeleton.
Boomstick: And finally, the After School Lesson is where you sit on an ordinary school chair as an escalator pushes you backwards into a crusher that will literally flatten you to death. She could've done it if it wasn't for her Monokuma units. Despite the one that Junko used while she was running Hope's Peak, there's more than the one Monkuma. Heck! There's a whole different variations of the black and white Winnie the Pooh.
Wiz: The basic Monokumas are equipped with claws used to slash its victims. It contains a bomb which will explode if it needs to. The Ball Monokumas are used to roll directly at a human being which will get crushed if it rolls on top of him or her.
Boomstick: My favourite ones are the Beast Monokumas. These are the Monokuma units that act incredibly ferocious. The Siren Monokumas uses the alarm on its head to alert the other units where its target is.
Wiz: Bomber Monokuma are equipped with body armour and a bucket of explosives. Though, they're not so intelligent as the explosives can be used against them.
Boomstick: So...they're stupid?
Wiz: I wouldn't say that they're stupid but they're not incredibly smart. Moving on, Guard Monokumas also have body armour of their own but they carry a duralumin shield of their own. These are used to block any attacks that come right at them.
Boomstick: Junk Monokumas may look like they were once treated like real garbage but they're the most vicious of all of the Monokumas. Finally, there's the Big Bang Monokuma! It's not only dressed as a king but its bigger than any other Monokuma out there. Big Bang Monokuma has a giant staff of his own which is used to rapidly whack its enemies.
Wiz: Back to Junko herself, for an average human being she's got quite a good amount of feats.
Boomstick: Junko was capable of taking over Hope's Peak and eventually started The Tragedy. It's a good thing she had those Monokumas because one of them were able to execute 10 out of 16 students from Class 78. Not only that but the same Monokuma was able to take on the Ultimate Martial Artist known as Sakura Ogami.
Wiz: She was also able to convince Mukuro Ikusaba and Izuru Kamukura to assist her in her conquests. She also turned Class 77B into Ultimate Despair after she made them watch Chiaki Nanami get executed. This shows that Junko is great at manipulating those around her. Junko is also without a doubt one of, quite possibly, the smartest character in the Danganronpa franchise. She even indirectly caused 2,357 reserve course students to commit suicide.
Boomstick: Junko was able to destroy an entire shelf of anime with a baseball bat, despite being in an anime herself, and even used the same bat when she pulled a 'Like ya cut, G' on the Ultimate Hope, Makoto Naegi. Well, he was originally the Ultimate Lucky Student until he became the Ultimate Hope in the final class trial of Danganronpa Trigger Happy Havoc but you get what I mean.
Wiz: She was also capable of tossing a wrech which would have knocked out Makoto-
Boomstick: But thanks to a piece of paper on the ground, Makoto slipped and fell and even dodged the wrench regarldess of knowing what was about to happen. If this was in the manga where Mukuro had a crush on Makoto, Junko would've been killed by her own sister before she gets the chance to start The Tragedy. Still, the exact same wrench crashed and even got stuck on a wooden pillar.
Wiz: Despite her superhuman feats, Junko still has her fair share of weaknesses. She's not much of a direct fighter as she prefers manipulating those who come across her. This can really effect her combat experience as most characters in fiction prefer combat over manipulation.
Boomstick: Without those Monokuma units who are way more powerful than Junko, she's not going to have a fun time facing off against her enemies by herself. Speaking of the Monokuma units, their weak spot is the red eye on the right side. If any of Junko's foes destroy that red eye or even take them out another way, boom! No more Monokuma unit!
Wiz: Junko will even kill her most loved ones to bring herself into despair or she'll just leave holes in her plans so she has the chance to feel despair which obviously doesn't seem like a great idea but I don't think Spike Chunsoft themselves even cares about that issue.
Boomstick: Of course, not everyone can be manipulated by Junko. If her targets are strong-willed and full of hope, they can resist her despair and fight back. Even if she survived most of the Ultimate Punishment, that doesn't mean Junko is a mortal human being.
Wiz: Junko couldn't even get one hit on either Mukuro with her ice pick or Izuru with her bat. Regardless, she's still an incredibly smart and powerful mastermind who will do anything to spread chaos and despair across the world.
Boomstick: Even after Junko's death, the world was still obsessed with despair.
Junko: Alright! Cover your butts people because Junko Enoshima is ready for her epic entrance! Hee hee!
Peter Griffin[]
Wiz: Welcome to Quahog: a small city located in Rhode Island, US.
Boomstick: Now this ain't your typical city of your everyday people. Giant chickens, pirates with no limbs, the freaking Kool Aid Man too. You name it, it's all there.
Wiz: Living on Spooner Street is none other than the Griffin family.
Boomstick: And the father of that family is none other than Peter Griffin who is totally not a knockoff of Homer Simpson but my god, he's quite horrible at being a father.
Wiz: Despite the childish acts, Peter's childhood wasn't the best.
Boomstick: Yeah. Having his alcoholic biological father in Ireland leave his wife, be born in Mexico in the weirdest way imaginable and even have a step-father who absolutely hated him. Must've been rough for the poor guy.
Wiz: By the time he was in his early teens, Peter's life changed as he met the love of his life, Lois Pewterschmidt.
Boomstick: Who had the biggest asshole of a dad and not even he liked Peter. Just why though? This guy's funny as hell.
Wiz: Despite Carter's hatred for him, Peter and Lois still got married and raised a family with three kids: Stewie, Chris and Megatron...I'm not kidding. That's literally Meg's full name.
Boomstick: It's funny to think that Peter is quite the powerhouse despite being an obese, middle aged alcoholic father.
Wiz: It true alright! Peter has some amazing superhuman strength, speed, agility, stamina and regeneration. He's also great when it comes to hand to hand combat experience thanks to his many battles against his arch rival, Ernie the Giant Chicken.
Boomstick: That's right folks. Peter literally fights a giant chicken on a regular basis.
Wiz: He's also equipped with many guns. Pistols, machine guns, SMGs, shotguns, rifles, you name it. He's got them all.
Boomstick: He's also used many rides of his own such as the PeterCopter, the PeterDactyl, the Peter-Rang, the PeterMobile and many more to name. He even has a tank for crying out loud! A literal tank.
Wiz: Peter is also equipped with knight armour, grenades, baseball bats, a whip, an axe, rubbing alcohol, ipecac and a mech suit of his own. He can even use his farts to his advantage. Plus, if Peter's ever in trouble he can use his steroids that make him more powerful than he is, especially when it comes to strength.
Boomstick: I think we can all agree that his best ability is the Radioactive Superhuman form which was used during his fight against the cartoon icon he was inspired by, Homer Simpson himself.
Wiz: Wait a minute! Didn't that ware off.
Boomstick: Yeah but Seth and Matt never confirmed if it was completely gone or not.
Wiz: Fair enough. This radioactive superhuman form gives Peter the ability to fly and it increases his superhuman strength and speed.
Boomstick: So, does it mean he's equal to Superman in that form.
Wiz: Of course not!
Boomstick: That's all I needed to know. However it doesn't last forever.
Wiz: Peter is no stranger to pain. He's lost his fingers during a firework explosion, been crushed and flatten by a falling piano, has been run over, been burned and tons more.
Boomstick: He also has the strength to push a car off a cliff without trying. Not only that but Peter has great superhuman drinking abilities. As shown in his drink off against McFinnigan who was mentioned before as his biological dad, MicFinnigan himself noted that nobody has ever defeated him in a drink off yet Peter did. Not to mention he's a great pianist when he's drunk.
Wiz: Peter took 60 tranquillizer darts yet they didn't knock him out. He just kept going with his life. He's also been crushed by a bus, been shot in the head twice, been struck by lightning, had his head crushed by two logs and so much more. Yet he still lived to see another day.
Boomstick: Let's not forget that Peter has won most of his battles against Ernie the Giant Chicken. At some stage, he outran a falling UFO which crashed right on top of Homer who managed to survive it. Speaking of his superhuman speed, during his fight against Homer, Peter was smacked right into a tree which left Homer feeling safe while he was driving one of the bus. That is until Peter showed up out of nowhere and continued to fight. Back to Peter vs Ernie, Peter was able to survive an oil rig after one of his many victories over Ernie.
Wiz: This is evidence that Peter has some great superhuman abilities and not only that, he even has the skills to manipulate his victims. Unfortunately, Peter does have his fair share of faults. For starters, an IQ test proves that Peter's intelligence is below mentally r*tarded.
Boomstick: He also has died at some stage but even if he does, he can use Death himself to bring him back from the dead. Peter has also shown to be childish at times and...that's all of his weaknesses.
Wiz: As the father of the Griffin family, it's Peter's job to do what is right for his family.
Boomstick: And use his opportunities to abuse Meg in the funniest way possible. That overweight cartoon legend ain't going anywhere any time soon.
Peter: I may be an idiot but there's one I'm not and that sir is an idiot.
Light Yagami[]
Wiz: Average yet bored high school student Light Yagami had a not so interesting life. He was just a hardworking person when it came to his schoolwork and was one of the smartest in his class. Everything that was once normal for him would soon change once a notebook would fall from the sky.
Boomstick: But this was no normal notebook. This was the Death Note which gave Light the power to kill whoever he wants as long as he has the name and face of his victim.
Wiz: Thinking it was all a big load of baloney, Light decided to give it a shot and used it on a criminal and prove that what the notebook stated was in fact not real.
Boomstick: Too bad his theory was wrong but next thing he knew, that criminal straight up died of a heart attack and not believing it and thinking of it as a coincidence Light gave it another shot and what do you know? They died again. So yeah, Light now has the power to kill anyone just by writing their name down.
Wiz: The Death Note didn’t just magically drop from the sky for no reason. A shinigami named Ryuk had supposedly dropped it from the Shinigami Realm and later ended it up in the human world.
Boomstick: I’m sorry. A shini-what?
Wiz: A shinigami is the term used for ‘God of Death’ in Japan. In other words, he’s basically a grim reaper…kind of.
Boomstick: Anyways, Ryuk leaves the Shinigami Realm and pays Light a visit in his own room where he’s been writing a whole page length of names in the Death Note, telling him that he’s basically gonna be following him while he has the notebook in his hand.
Wiz: After many kills being recognized worldwide despite not showing his actions in person, Light Yagami would soon earn himself the public name “Kira”, which its meaning is the word “killer” in Japanese for those wondering.
Boomstick: But he’s got some bad news. His father is working for the Japanese Task Force who are currently trying to figure out who Kira really is. Worst of all, they’re also getting help from the brilliant detective called…L. Yep. You heard me right. His name is literally the 12th letter of the alphabet. Just go with it I guess.
Wiz: But the mysterious Kira wasn't going down with a fight or at least through mind games that is. Even before becoming a mass murderer in disguise that wields a strange notebook with the ability to kill the user's victims, Light was one of the smartest students in his school, even getting first place in his nation wide college entrance exams multiple times.
Boomstick: Haha. Nerd. Although I guess with that high intelligence comes some great planning. I mean, Light can quickly come up with plans at a surprisingly fast rate even while he's in the middle of a game of tennis.
Wiz: On top of that, Light was able to find a way to keep the Death Note hidden in his desk in case anyone decides to look around in it. All of this was done by creating a fake bottom surface in his desk. It's an incredible method if I do say so myself.
Boomstick: The dude was able to continue his killing spree just by hiding his phone under a bag of chips where he took a potato chip...and ATE IT! That twisted son of a bitch shows no mercy to any potato chip that crosses path with him...oh and any other detective who tries to catch him.
Wait so what happens if he ends up making a mistake when writing someone’s name with a pen? Does he like, start over?
Wiz: Actually Boomstick. Light doesn’t use an ordinary pen nor does he use a pencil. In fact, he mainly uses a mechanical pen. Light can just erase any unintentional mistakes without any worries. Although if he does use a pencil, he’ll make sure to keep it sharpened.
Boomstick: And what if he doesn’t have the Death Note on him?
Wiz: That’s where his wristwatch comes in.
Boomstick: His watch? Come on Wiz! This isn’t Ben 10 we’re talking about.
Wiz: No. It’s nothing like that. If he needs to kill someone nearby immediately or if he doesn’t have the Death Note on him, Light can just open up a small drawer from within the watch that contains a small fragment of the notebook.
Boomstick: That’s great and all but too bad that’s not going to help Light even in a scenario where he would need L’s real name when the two eventually met in person. Should’ve taken that Shinigami Eye deal with Ryuk.
Wiz: Ah of course. The Shinigami Eyes give the Death Note’s user the ability to see their victim’s name and lifespan once they make the deal with whatever shinigami is with them.
Boomstick: Light did turn down the deal since not only would it cut his own lifespan in half but he wanted to live longer so he can continue killing as many criminals he could possibly wipe from the world. He can make the deal at any time he wants but it’s not likely to happen. Good thing he got his…kinda girlfriend Misa who had the Shinigami Eyes after making the deal with her own shinigami, Rem.
Wiz: Another thing to mention about the Death Note is that even the smallest piece of paper from it will still contain its full power. Its influence can also affect those whose names aren’t written in the Death Note depending on the victim’s death.
Boomstick: It also somehow doesn’t seem to run out of pages. With the amount of names Light writes daily should be enough to fill that entire notebook.
Wiz: The Death Note does still have its fair share of limits; the most notable one being that the victim will be safe from being killed if their name is misspelt four times.
Boomstick: There are way too many rules to a notebook that can easily kill humans but whatever stops it from being an overpowered item. I guess it doesn’t help that Light would need enough time to get a name written down in a physical confrontation.
Wiz: Speaking of physicality, Light may be more reliable with his intelligence but he’s not exactly a pushover outside of that. He’s pretty athletic. He was a tennis champion back in his years as a junior high school student after all.
Boomstick: I mean, Light even threw a punch at L right in the face at some point. He even sent the dude flying with that punch! Holy shit!
Wiz: Not only that but Light had also taken multiple punches from Misa. However, those were probably some weak punches.
Boomstick: With the way she obsesses over this dude, do you really think she’s tried to harm him in any way?
Wiz: But that doesn’t matter since Light is more experienced in a battle of wits rather than being someone that throws punches. It’s not always about brute strength alone that helps decide a winner especially in the scenarios Light got into.
Boomstick: After all, this is the same guy who planned some weird book swap idea that would erase his memory of being Kira for some time.
Wiz: In other words, the user of the Death Note would lose their memories of it if they were to ever give it up and no longer use it. Light did this in order to “prove” his innocence to L of not being Kira.
Boomstick: And it worked. He did eventually get the Death Note back and regain his memories but during the time, he’d shown some incredible detective skills which he had used to assist L in catching the temporary Kira.
Wiz: Sooner or later, it all came to an end. Not for Kira but for L. Light orchestrated the perfect victory with some help from Rem who would soon die after killing L due to her love for Misa.
Boomstick: Wait a minute. Aren’t shinigamis gods of death? How does that work?
Wiz: Simple. If the Shinigami that is attached to the notebook starts to feel affection towards the user, killing someone with the Death Note in order to protect them will kill the shinigami itself right after.
Boomstick: Kind of a strange way to kill a literal death god but who cares? Light succeeded in outsmarting the greatest detective, all thanks to his incredible planning and manipulation.
Wiz: With no more L to get in his way, Light reigned superior which made it god complex worse than what it already was.
Boomstick: You see, Light killing a bunch of criminals with a notebook with the power to kill people really got to his head despite saying that it wouldn't happen due to him being a model student.
Wiz: I mean, he’s still capable of controlling his emotions when being confronted, not letting anyone see his frustration and shock. He couldn’t have gone that mad right?
Boomstick: Wiz. Come on. There’s no way of defending this guy at this point.
Wiz: Oh who am I kidding? He’s gone fucking insane at this point. Anywho, Light would soon join his father and the rest of the Task Force in the Kira case and even become the second L, taking over his rival’s position of leading the case.
Boomstick: So Light is leading a case that involves catching himself. Yeah there really is no hope in the Japanese Task Force at this point. Just kidding. Light’s got some more big-brained geniuses to deal with.
Wiz: A few years later, the American government would assist the Japanese Task Force in the Kira case by starting an organisation called the Special Provision for Kira.
Boomstick: And to make matters worse for Light, the SPK was being led by L’s new and proper successor Near. There goes Light’s chances of being unstoppable…again.
Wiz: On top of that, Light also had to deal with L’s other successor Mello who had no intention of working with Near. Instead, he went off to get some help from the Mafia.
Boomstick: The things he would do to expose Kira’s identity before Near could. He’s also the reason why Soichiro got killed. Guess Light can join the list of anime characters who lost their father figure.
Wiz: Eventually, Light did end up getting the better of Mello with the help of his former college classmate Kiyomi Takada and most importantly Teru Mikami who he had given his notebook to.
Boomstick: Good thing he didn’t erase his memory again because he still kept at least one piece of the Death Note on him to keep them and continue his manipulation towards others.
Wiz: Eventually, Near soon put the pieces together with what was left of L’s deduction of who Kira was.
Boomstick: Now the rest of the Task Force finally began to gain suspicion of who they saw as the second L who was getting a little bit cocky.
Wiz: At last comes the moment to prove Light’s “innocence”. With Teru writing the names of the Task Force, the SPK and Near himself with his Death Note it would seem that Light had defeated his rival’s successor too and wiped the remaining Task Force and SPK members with him.
Boomstick: Too bad because it turns out Near got his hands on the Death Note and Teru had nothing but a fake replica at the time. He was so close to defeating Near but all of those risky plans and that massive god-complex only came with a fault for Light who really let his ego get the better of him.
Wiz: That didn’t mean all of Kira’s doings were for nothing. Light may not have created a perfect world like he imagined but he succeeded in reducing 70% of crime and even got the United States Government to give up on the case. He did all of this and managed to keep it all hidden for seven years until everything came crumbling down on him.
Boomstick: After a bit of a breakdown, Light eventually got a few bullets from a really pissed off Matsuda while he was in the middle of writing Near’s real name into that little piece of the Death Note hidden in his watch.
Wiz: Surprisingly enough, Light still managed to make a run for it even after all of those shots with one of them hitting him in the chest.
Boomstick: For a so-called “god”, he kinda took that loss like an absolute bitch. It just goes to show that even with a killer notebook, Light was still nothing more but an insane but still regular human being.
Wiz: The Japanese Task Force or the Special Provision for Kira for that matter may have been able to bring Kira to justice publicly and throw him behind bars but Ryuk still managed to get one last bit of entertainment before going back to the Shinigami Realm. It all came to an end for Light once his name went into Ryuk’s Death Note and died of a heart attack the same way many of his victims did.
Boomstick: Light Yagami may not have been able to completely rid the world of criminals but he died as someone who his followers could still see as the God of the New World.
Light: The only one...who can create a new world...is me.
Granny[]
So imagine this. You're walking through a forest, because your car just broke down. You hear footsteps behind you, before getting hit in the head with a bat. You then wake up in a house. That's the main story of Granny. She doesn't really have much of a backstory we can figure out, besides her relation to Slendrina and her family, she's presumably married to Grandpa, and she has ties with the supernatural.
Yeah, not much we can discuss in terms of backstory, but she has quite a few weapons. There's her iconic bat, which she can use to knock people out and just generally whack people around, bear traps which can impale people's feet and make them stuck, dynamite, her car, which is strong enough to break through walls, and a plasma rifle, which is strong enough to launch a dead body across a room.
She also has several weapons in the several locations she's been in, and although she's never seen using them, they're still her weapons, so we'll include them anyways. A crossbow, tranquilizers for said crossbow, a stun gun which basically works the same as a taser, a slingshot with rocks for ammo, a shotgun, a revolver, pepper spray, a freeze trap, which can freeze anyone who steps on it, and hand grenades.
For abilities, she's been described to have great hearing, she knows where the player is if they have her teddy bear or kill one of her pets, she's only stunned by tranquilizer darts for a limited time, she's fine after being frozen, and she can survive large amounts of electric shocks. She can also resurrect from being shot, frozen and being broken to pieces, and blown up.
Now, for stats. She can knock the player out, who can survive bear traps and an explosion, a different player, who can survive long falls and a bigger explosion, and can break a door open, which was locked by a wooden drawbar. For speed, she's able to blitz the player on extreme mode, and for durability, she can survive getting hit by her car, an iron maiden, both of which can kill the player, and the stun gun.
She's very intelligent, able to create the freeze trap, made a robot, tons of locks on her door, and several other creations that normal people wouldn't be able to. However, she's easily tricked by very obvious things, like a mask of Slendrina, seeing the player walk into a closet, or being led into her own traps. This brings us to her weaknesses.
As said before, she's easily tricked, she has trouble seeing, and she can be knocked out by things like very hot temperatures. Still, she's quite a force to be reckoned with, so be sure to not get knocked out by an old lady on the highway.
Granny: I see you...want to play hide and seek?
Intermission[]
(Image will be to be updated soon)
Wiz: Alright! The combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle[]
As of 27/10/22, I plan to rewrite this entire fight. Looking at the progress after a long while, I didn't like how short each segment was and it felt rushed. Overall, I'm going to rewrite it.
Results[]
Trivia[]
- This battle would be animated with sprites
- The roster was completely different before the one we have now
- Adam Taurus would later be replaced by Chris
- Piggy was no longer allowed on pages meaning she would have to be replaced by Granny
- Stewie was the first option for a Family Guy representive before being swapped for Peter
- This is the second time one of Speedy's matchups featuring Chris McLean were in the process of being rewritten, the first one being Chris McLean vs Sonia Nevermind
- The users listed below wrote the following:
- SpeedyHedgehog91: Chris, Springtrap, Junko, Peter and Light's analysis, fight and results
- Minecraftfan300: Sweet Tooth's analysis and the pre-fight
- Scarecrow640: Joker's analysis
- Kirbysakurai: Ayano's analysis
- Dimentio: Granny's analysis
- To make this fair, Joker, Springtrap, Peter and Junko will be composite but there will be some limits to them being composite. Joker will not have Lego feats, Joker Mask and Emperor Joker and I'll only limit it to Springtrap only throughout the fight but he won't get FNAF World feats