Pre Episode[]
???: We're reporting for duty, dood!
Nova: Oh yay! They're here now!
???: AH! Put me down dood! I might blow!
Theodore: Nova, how did you even-
Alice: Apparently this is the favor you called in. So who did you blackmail for this?
Nova: Blackmail? You kidding? I just asked, that's all! Having connections to the CPU of Lastation can really do a girl wonders!
Alice: Oh, I see. You just kept pestering Noire until she finally caved in to your request.
Theodore: I must admit, that Prinny is absolutely adorable! You simply must let me hold it next!
Nova: Wait your turn Theo, there's more where that-
???: Sorry we're late dood! Please don't dock our pay!
...
Theodore: Wait, we're actually supposed to pay these guys?!
Alice: Just how many mascots did you order anyway?
Nova: I kinda lost track actually, but I swear it's only a few Prinnies! Just like the next episode we'll be airing! Besides, all of this is with the intent of helping out our dear friend Boomstick in court!
???: *ROAR!*
Theodore: None of your words exactly hold up but we've got a bigger problem on our hands now! Prepare the troops! It's time to march off into battle!
Alice: But first, it's time for our regularly scheduled programming. Roll the clip!
Description[]
This What If Death Battle features the Prinnies from Disgaea and the Raving Rabbids from Rayman. These large groups of vaguely animal like species may be dumb and all around incompetent but they can really wreak havoc and sow chaos when put into large numbers.
Interlude[]
Nova:...
Theodore: What's with that evil glare?
Alice: I don't know, you only charged into the fray and killed off all the ravaging monsters before we could do anything else?
Nova: I wanted to throw a Prinny at the big T Rex...
Prinny: Dood?
Theodore: Well, speaking of which, it's no secret that common minions tend to be absolutely worthless in just about everything they do. Yet, these groups of adorable creatures mange to take incompetence and stupidity to a whole other level!
Prinny: Hey, that's a bit harsh dood! We work really hard for our-
Alice: Shut up or I'll throw you across the room. You're not even supposed to be here anyway.
Theodore: Hey now! This Prinny is our guest of honor, lets not treat him like a complete loser!
Nova: Anyway, for this Death Battle we're going to pit a large legion of minions together! For that reasons we've gathered up the Prinnies, the damned souls from Disgaea.
Alice: And the Rabbids, the screaming lunatics from Rayman. My name is Alice, and my assistants are Theodore and Nova. Oh, and some Prinny is here for some reason. Listen here punk, this is a one time deal, got it?
Prinny: I actually have a name, dood! I mean, how dumb would it be to name a person after his or her species anyway?
Nova: Yeah, whatever. Just remember you're only here for the audience's (and of course our) amusement.
Alice: And so it is our job to analyze their armor, weapons, and skill to see who would win.......a Death Battle!
Prinnies[]
Nova: Imagine this right now: What is the afterlife like? Is it all literal sunshine and rainbows in a complete paradise? Is it fire and brimstone in a land of eternal suffering? Well stop thinking about those because you're completely wrong!
Theodore: Welcome to The Netherworld! It may look just like Hell at first glance but there's much more to it than that. 'Tis a land home to all sorts of demons where actions that would normally be perceived as crimes such as murder and theft are considered common everyday events.
Alice: I must admit, this does sound like a very lively place. The strong prosper and the weak are reduced to simple slave laborers. Perhaps I could become the next overlord.
Theodore: Allie's evil ambitions aside, this is where humans will end up if they've led worthless or sinful lives upon their deaths. Even stranger still, they end up becoming...
Nova: Everything's better with penguins! And they're just SO adorable!
Theodore: Yeah that's right. If you're sent to hell, you get to become a cute and cuddly demonicish penguin. Seriously though Nova, it's awesome that you actually managed to buy so many off of Noire! I already love them all!
Prinny: I don't like the way everybody's staring at me dood...
Nova: Yep. And none of this would have been possible without your money, Theo!
Theodore: You did what now?
Alice: As novel as being turned into a penguin may sound, Netherworld Prinnies are immediately pressed with an enormous debt that they must pay off in order to be reincarnated. In order to pay off said debt, they just have to perform a good amount of... manual labor.
Prinny: I think you mean slave labor, dood! Our last tsundere owner literally just sold me and my buddies off for a measly-
Theodore: I hate to be That Guy, but it's my buddies and I. You know, it's because of that attitude that most Prinnies never even come close to paying off their debts.
Alice: Indeed. Prinnies are some of the laziest, stupidest, and all around incompetent minions in the history of fiction. As a matter of fact-
Prinny: What the hell, dood?! I'll have you know that I'M an exceptional worker and a badass fighter!
Nova: Yeah, I seriously doubt that. Sure, Prinnies always wield two tiny machetes into battle but they're about as strong as butter knives. These minions are pretty weak overall so their main strategy is to assault foes with their superior numbers until one finally succeeds.
Alice: Whatever happened to quality over quantity?
Theodore: Yeah, okay now. As fun is it is to make fun of these doods they still have plenty of other redeeming qualities besides their appearance. They can ground pound onto a foe's head to temporarily stun it, toss down a barrage of projectiles with Prinny Barrage, and summon bombs with Prinny... Bomb.
Nova: Well, speaking of bombs, these penguins are practically living grenades. They'll explode if you pick them up and throw them! You know, I always wanted to try that out...
Prinny: Keep that chick away from me doods! I've still got so much to live for!
Alice: Oh, Prinnies are not only expendable, but their medical care is pretty cheap too. Sheer popularity simply does not save one from becoming cannon fodder. They even have another version of Prinny Raid that involves dancing around and using their own brethren as living meteors.
Prinny: What's your beef with me, dood?! Is it just because I'm more popular than you?
Alice: Oh please. I'm cute too. I'm a robot, I can easily kick the collective asses of everyone in this room-
Theodore and Nova: Debatable.
Alice: I break the 4th wall, and most importantly I'm downright adorable. How could a lowly penguin possibly be better than me?
Theodore: Oh yeah? Well It's mostly because you're NOT the main character! Unlike yours truly!
Nova: I call total bullshit on that claim.
Prinny: Well, you doods ARE all OCs at the moment anyway. Is it any wonder nobody really knows you guys? Besides, aren't you forgetting our most important accomplishments?
Alice: Very well. With the use of a red scarf rumored to have once belonged to a great overlord, a Prinny can become the Hero Prinny, capable of many great feats such as... not exploding. Yet, this was somehow enough for the Prinnies to go up against and even defeat demons that should realistically be at a MUCH higher level than them.
Prinny: We call that the power of determination, dood! Cut off one Prinny, and another proudly takes his place!
Theodore: Despite the amazing capabilities of the Hero Prinny, he still can't take too many hits before dying anyway. When that happens, they just pass the scarf on to the next Prinny in line until the mission is complete. Let's just say the Prinnies are always gonna have a bad time. No matter what.
Nova: But that's nothing compared to the penguin's ultimate weapons! The Prinnies have two awesome vehicles called the Metal Gear YAY and CX-3 Hellyes, which are capable of firing lasers and flying through the air respectively!
Theodore: *gasp* METAL GEAR?!
Nova: Oh, here's my favorite bit! It turns out the Prinnies have the same voice actor as Shinjiro Aragaki from Persona 3! Who would've guessed?
Prinny: And don't forget our ultimate attacks, dood! We can shoot an exploding laser beam with Pringer Beam and go all out on our foes with Prinny Fusillade! Anything on the end of that move will look like it came right out of a Michael Bay movie when we're done with 'em, dood!
Nova: *grab* All right, your spotlight is up. We have a job for you doods now!
Theodore: As if there was nothing else that could make these penguins any cooler, they also have robo penguins on their side! Pringer X may look just as small and cuddly as your average Prinny, but these things pack a shitton of firepower! There's a good reason these bots are usually considered superbosses, even managing to give trouble to powerful overlords!
Alice: So, despite their overall incompetence, the Prinnies really are capable of great things if they actually put effort into them. They just need the... proper incentives.
Prinny: Dood?
Rabbids[]
Theodore: I told you guys, it was only a matter of time before the aliens arrived and took over the world!
Nova: It's quite true. These little bastards are just about everywhere now. Such fearsome, destructive, and downright terrifying abominations...
Alice: Oh, I'm sorry viewers, are we giving you the wrong idea here? We're actually talking about a species of cute little alien bunnies.
Theodore: Say hello to the Raving Rabbids, everybody!
Rabbid: BWAAAAAAAH!
Alice: I can't believe you brought one of those thing here too. You really should stop bothering our friends like that over and over.
Nova: Oh, don't worry, I just annoyed Blanc this time to get these guys. Little is known of their origin but they seem to have come from the moon of all places. But, the best part about them is that they DON'T explode if you toss them around! Allie, if you would do the honors?
Alice: Gladly.
Rabbid: BWAAAAH! *SLAM!*
Nova: Yay! Screwing with gravity is fun! It's hardly known if the Rabbids themselves feel any pain, but they sure as hell don't seem to mind it!
Theodore: Hell, they either enjoy it like a bunch of damn masochists or they're just too freakin' stupid to even know what actual pain is, considering that a good majority of their physical activities involves them getting horribly maimed or beaten in one way or another. It's pretty creepy, actually.
Rabbid: *Laughs maniacally*
Alice: I hate to say it, but I'm starting to miss the annoying Prinny from before. Hell, the actual intentions of the Rabbids are an even bigger mystery than anything else. Their goals have ranged from returning home to the moon, going on a world vacation/domination fest, and even hosting their own TV shows.
Nova: Don't even think about underestimating these little guys either. Their stupidity is their greatest weapon along with their freakish creativity. Rabbids will gladly use just about anything as a weapon, but they do have their favorite tools.
Theodore: The Rabbids like to use toilet plungers as guns and toilet brushes as makeshift blades! The plunger can even get stuck in a target's face which will temporarily blind them. That just can't be sanitary.
Nova: They like to use shopping carts as both a quick means of transportation and unlimited item storage! Seriously, those carts can literally hold hundreds of items within them without spilling over! What do they just contain a portal to the void or something?
Alice: Chief among the Rabbid's common weapons is their own voice.
Rabbid: DAAAAAAAAH!
Alice: Such a scream is capable of shattering glass and scaring the pants off of any witless humans. Quite literally. The Rabbids also have a rather fond penchant for cosplaying, which I'll admit is quite impressive.
Theodore: Not to mention, if a Rabbid dons a Superman costume, he'll actually gain the ability to fly through the air just like the Man of Steel! How the hell does that work?!
Nova: Arguably the Rabbid's greatest weapon of all is the use of cartoon physics. If their ineptitude for pain hasn't told you anything yet, then wait'll you get a load of their strength! They can knock buildings down with a single punch, ravage an entire city street with one loud belch, and carry around huge objects like cows and airplane turbines as if they were nothing at all!
Alice: Cartoon physics? More like lazy writing.
Rabbid: *Flicks middle finger*
Alice: Theodore, could you lend me your scythe for a bit?
Theodore: Sure, but why-
*SLAM!*
Rabbid: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Theodore: Allie, what the hell?!
Nova: Oh, I'm sure he'll live... Probably. The Rabbids may be stupid as hell but they've somehow managed to build plenty of brilliant contraptions. Tubas capable of infinite storage, UFOs, kite gliders from the revolutionary era, flying yellow submarines, and even a bunch of deadly robots!
Theodore: Creepily enough, there are even some bigger, all round more threatening species of Rabbids out there. I mean, bloody hell! Look at that damn thing! That's legitimately scary! It goes without saying that these Rabbid's size is NOT for show.
Alice: Yes, there is no doubting it. The Rabbids are one of the dumbest the dumbest, yet at the same time advanced species out there. What a paradox.
The Battle[]
Pre Fight[]
LA Comic Con- Abandoned Storage Room- After Hours Cue Music 5
"Wow! That show was incredible, dood!" "But dood, aren't we supposed to be looked for evidence for the trial?" "Lighten up dood! Take it from me, killers are usually terrible at covering up their tracks." "Oh yeah? What was your past life like?" "Oh, I was a ...jaywalker. I think I got run over by a garbage truck, dood." "Yeah right, dood! I heard you were that loser that got blown up by a Saibaiman!' A large legion of Prinnies had been conversing with one another as they searched the warehouse.
"Come on, doods! Get to work! Our new master lord prodigy Nova knows we've been slacking off at the convention now!" "Does she really need such a long title, dood?" "I'm just following orders, dood. She'll literally have our heads if we don't." The lone scarfed Prinny sighed as he opened up a nearby window for some fresh air. "You know, what if the killer tossed all his evidence off the cliff here? We'll probably never find anything, doods!"
"At least this master is nowhere near as insane as our old ones, doods! At least we're not looking for ingredients for the ultimate snack or finding her missing panties... yet." "Yeah, dood! Master Etna was much worse! Don't even get me started on the shit Master Noire put me through either, dood." "Oh, I don't know dood... I think I had a crush on Master Noire myself." "Agreed, dood!" Many of the Prinnies shouted in unison.
"I'm pretty sure the writer does t-AH!" A Prinny attempted to say before suddenly exploding. "Crap, dood! Not even the fourth wall can protect us anymore! I knew seeing Deadpool fight Gilgamesh at the convention was a bad omen, dood!" "I know I ran for my life when I saw old Master Iris Heart show up, dood!" The Prinnies had long since stopped working at this point and engaged in all sorts of random conversations with one another.
"DOODS! We've got a horde of intruders at 6 0'clock!" A Prinny suddenly came in to warn his friends. "Whaddya mean dood? Comic Con's over for the day! There's no way anybody's-" The Prinny's words were rudely interrupted when the messenger Prinny was abruptly shot in the head with a toilet plunger. "It's all over for me doods... Please... Avenge me doods!"
*SMACK!*
"Suck it up, dood! It's just a plunger!" The rest of the group shyly looked out of the storage room to see a large horde of strange white rabbits wreaking havoc around the abandoned convention. "Those guys look pretty viscous doods..." One of the Rabbids quickly took notice of the frightened Prinnies and let out an ear shattering scream to alert all of its buddies.
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Oh shit doods! The bunnies are on to us!" The scarfed Hero Prinny leaped above his comrades to survey the opposing army. "There's no escape doods. We either go out fighting like badasses, or crying like a bunch of pussies! Now who's with me, doods?!" The Hero Prinny was met with a rallying cry of approval from his friends. "Actually, I don't mind cry-" "Then charge, doods! The Hero Prinny yelled as the Rabbids all did the same.
FIGHT![]
"All right doods, lets do this! LEEROY JENKIIIIIIIINS!" A lone Prinny yelled as he charged into the fray. He was promptly shot with a few plungers shortly after. The rest of the Prinnies simply shrugged and readied their own weapons. They were interrupted by another lone Prinny walking to the front of the fray before his comrades.
Pause Music 6 Cue Music 7
"Amateurs. I'll take them all on at once, dood!" The Prinny was wearing a strangely familiar black gi and had a striking head of red hair. His friends watched in awe as the new Prinny entered a combat stance while the a few members of the Rabbid army closed in on him. "You will all know the meaning of pain, dood!" A large kanji formed behind the Prinny's back just before he darted forward at blinding speeds.
"DIE ONE THOUSAND DEATHS, DOOD!"
..."Uh, dood?" "What do you want, fool?" ... "You completely missed them, dood!"
"Son of a bitch, dood." The lone Prinny cursed out as he was bombarded by a Rabbid assault.
Continue Music 6
The Hero Prinny simply facepalmed as he signaled his friends to begin the real battle. Penguin and rabbit alike closed in on each other, quickly turning the once "peaceful" halls of Comic Con into a warzone. "Here we go, dood!" Three Prinnies shouted out as they launched a barrage of projectiles down on some unsuspecting Rabbids below.
They were promptly shot out of the air by a few well aimed toilet plungers moments later. The frontlines showed Rabbids engaging in "sword duels" with the Prinnies using all sorts of items like toilet scrubbers, foam hands, and hot dog wieners. "Dood, is that a horse wiener?! This just got really dangerous!" A Prinny cried in fear before said wiener slapped him across the face. "Uh, that did not sound right, dood."
I know. I did that on purpose.
"Line 'em up... now go doods!" Hero Prinny commanded as a line of his friends chucked bombs into the opposing army. The Rabbids retaliated by smacking the projectiles back as if they were baseballs. The Prinnies fled the scene in fear, but they could not avoid getting blown up by their own bombs. The Hero Prinny could only sigh in disappointment when he deflected one of the bombs heading for him. A brave Rabbid garbed in a familiar green tunic stepped forth to volley the bomb back at the Hero.
"This is all looking vaguely familiar dood..." The two batted the bomb back and forth in a rather lethal game of explosive tennis. The Prinny finally managed to leap into the air to spike the bomb down, finally managing to slip past the Rabbid's serves. "And he scores, dood! Hell ye-AH!" A Rabbid cosplaying as Superman flew into the midair Prinny as he gloated in victory.
The Prinny slammed into a nearby wall, which instantly killed and exploded the penguin. "Ooh! I've got it I've got it I've-" Another Prinny beat the desperately screaming one to the fallen scarf. "Yeah... I wouldn't trust you with this kind of power dood. You're... pink." "Oh yeah? Just check this out, dood! Hya!" The pink garbed Prinny stylishly flipped into the crowd of Rabbids to savagely... taunt and insult the killer rabbits.
"Wow, you're ugly! Hey, I think I banged up your mother, dood! I'm the best!" The Prinny gave a rather weak thumbs, well flipper up. He had no fingers. The surrounding Rabids menacingly closed in on the overconfident fighter in response. "All right! I've been training for this moment. Shinku..." "Stop screwing around dood!" The new Hero Prinny unleashed a barrage of energy blasts on the Rabbids to save his incompetent comrade's life.
"No matter! I'll just 360 no scope that one up there!" He motioned to the Super Rabbid. "Gadoken!"
...
"That sucked dood. Do you wanna be useful? Then come here!" "What the hell are you doing dood?! Put me down! FAAAAATHER!" The Hero Prinny hurled his pink hued companion through the air like a football. The Superman Rabbid was completely blindsided when the Prinny collided and exploded on him. "Whoop! I'll always remember your sacrifice, dood!"
"DOOOOOD!" A Prinny was suddenly flung past his scarfed ally and into the wall behind him. "Holy crap dood!" A single Rabbid much larger than his companions had arrived on the battlefield. "I AM BACK." A robotic voice uttered from the large Rabbid. It was wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. It sure as hell was not an organic creature.
A small group of Prinnies closed in on the robot to throw bombs at it but they were stopped by a convenient force field. Many of them were promptly shot down by a rain of toilet plungers falling from above. The Terminator Rabbid took aim at the Hero Prinny next, who bravely double jumped over its shots to deliver a ground pound to the robot's head.
The bot stumbled slightly, but otherwise it was completely unharmed. Hero Prinny spun around and made a mad dash around the robot in an effort to confuse it. Another Rabbid was able to sneak up on him from behind for a deadly surprise attack.
"BWAAAAAH!"
The Prinny was immediately sent hurtling into the Terminator Rabbid, resulting in a massive explosion. The Prinny may have died in the blast, but the Terminator Rabbid had started to malfunction and dropped to its knees. A hatch in the middle of the robot opened up to reveal a smaller Rabid desperately trying to fix it from within. Another brave Prinny garbed in a familiar orange gi took notice and made a beeline for the fallen scarf.
The robot was still down, so the Prinny took the opportunity to bust out his weapons and wail on it with all of his might. A loud electrical spark was a clear signal that the robot had ceased functioning. The Rabbid inside let out a small grunt as it continued pushing buttons in vain. "Yeah, doods! I told you these guys would be easy!" The newest Hero Prinny boasted. "I bet I can take the rest of them on myself!"
"What the hell are you thinking, dood?! Hurry up and rejoin us!" A loud beeping sound made the Prinny freeze in his tracks. The Rabbid controlling the robot let out a maniacal laugh as the Terminator Rabbid self destructed, killing the Prinny alongside it. "Welp, that's another point to the Yamcha owned counter, dood."
More Rabbids continued to flood the halls with their sheer numbers. Many of them were pouring in from UFOs and giant yellow submarines. "Hey, doods! Check out the awesome stash of weapons back here!" a lone Prinny beckoned from the abandoned storage room. He triumphantly stepped out carrying a uniquely shaped blade in his hand. "Now this is a man's weapon, dood!" He yelled as he charged into battle once more.
The Prinny forced his way through a group of Rabbids until he came face to face with one garbed in a red racer's helmet and blue jumpsuit. The two locked eyes almost immediately. With metaphorical flames in their eyes, the two charged right at each other for what could only be a truly epic clash. The Prinny raised his blade and the racer Rabbid reeled back a fist.
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Rabbid shouted with all its might as its fist collided with the Prinnies replica Falchion. To the penguin's surprise, the blade broke on contact and he literally came face to face with a fiery rabbit fist. "I suppose I'll get my chance another day dooooooood!" The Prinny was sent flying at the speed of a bullet as the Rabbid's fist connected.
Many of the other Prinnies had taken cover behind some empty sales stands. Armed to the teeth with replicas of the Mega Buster, they opened fire on the Rabbids from afar with a barrage of tennis balls. "Hell yeah, dood! Taste the power of Captain Com!" The Rabbids retaliated by sending out a few tuba carrying minions.
"Oh, cool dood! I was always- HOLY SHIT DOOD!" The Rabbids started shooting out all sorts of random, heavy objects from their tubas. The Prinny army scattered in a sheer panic as they were bombarded by cows, airplane turbines, and even live dogs. One of the panicking Prinnies noticed a familiar red scarf on the ground. The latest Hero Prinny must have been killed again. He made a beeline for the fallen accessory but two of the Rabbids savagely ran him over with a shopping cart.
The alien bunnies gave each other a high five before proceeding to ram more unwilling Prinnies. "We're absolutely f*cked, doods!" The Rabbid's reinforcements kept pouring in as the Prinnies simply kept giving up and running away in masses. A few of them even made a break for a nearby window, until their destination had suddenly shattered.
"Don't give up yet, doods! You gotta stay determined, no matter what!" A pruple hued Prinny yelled out as reinforcements barged in through the window. "Holy crap, dood! I thought you guys all fell off that cliff!" "True, but I've got reinforcements here now. We've managed to avoid drowning, dood!" "Good job, dood!"
A seemingly endless number of Prinnies stormed in from the broken window, all ready to reignite the fighting spirit of their brothers in arms. They even managed to bring in some vehicles of their own. The Rabbids certainly weren't about to give up so soon either. The alien bunnies all screamed into the air as the true battle began anew. They even managed to bring in a small squadron of Pringer X units to even the odds.
The purple Prinny skillfully dodged any assault coming his way in an attempt to grab the Hero scarf. Once his mission was complete, he shifted his attention to the Rabbid's shopping cart. It simply had to go. He made a mad dash for the crazy contraption, tossing bombs or slashing through any Rabbids that dare got in his way. The shopping cart duo quickly took notice, so they readied to ram the Hero Prinny and started firing plungers at him.
"You guys are gonna leave my buddies alone, dood!" The Hero Prinny effortlessly swatted away the plungers and jumped into the air before he could get rammed. He delivered a devastating ground pound to the confused Rabbids and followed up with a destructive Pringer Beam. The shopping cart was quickly reduced to a million pieces from the ensuing explosion.
"Yeah, dood! We've got these bunnies on the rocks now!" It wasn't much longer before a Rabbid dive bombed him with a hand glider. "DAHAHAHAHA!" The Hero Prinny struggled to regain his bearings as the Rabbid flew him all over the room. He looked down to see more of his army once again getting humiliated by their foes.
A Metal Gear YAY shot out a laser strong enough to rip through a line of Rabbids and some of their submarines but it was quite suddenly boarded by the Rabbids. "Dood? How did you- F*cking hell!" The Rabbids laughed maniacally as they comandeered the new vessel and turned it on its original owners. "This isn't looking good, dood!" "BWAHAHAHA!" The Hero Prinny gave the gliding Rabbid a good smack with his knife, forcing the bunny to lose control and plummet to the ground.
The Prinny landed safely, but face first on the ground. He regained his senses to find himself surrounded by small squadron of Prinnies absolutely scared shitless. They were huddling up, trying to hide from the carnage outside. "We're f*cked, doods! We're so f*cked!" The Hero Prinny himself wasn't doing so well after that last crash landing. One more hit would likely do him in. He quickly noticed a few busted up Pringer X units around him as well. Clearly, they were not in any functioning state. But he had a brilliant plan in mind.
"What's the point, doods? Our old Masters were right, we are worthle-"
*SMACK!*
"OW DOOD! What the hell was that for?!" The Hero Prinny grabbed a loudspeaker so that the entire room could hear him. "Oh, I'll tell you, doods... You guys give up way too easily!" The Hero Prinny began attaching the detached Pringer X parts to himself. "I get it, alright doods. Literally every other demon, human, or any other species out there sees us as a joke. Small. Pathetic. Helpless. We could get our asses kicked by little children! But what if we proved them wrong, dood?" Both armies had stopped fighting to listen to his speech at this point.
One of the cowering Prinnies tried to raise an objection but he was rudely interrupted. "You wanna know what I think, doods? I think if we all put just a little effort into it..." The Prinny wore a Pringer X's head like a robotic mask. "We really can make our masters proud, doods!" He wore a Pringer X's laser cannons like gloves. "We've taken on shittons of enemies leagues above us before! Sure, we stood no chance and had no chance at victory but we still fought on anyways, doods! I say we can do better than that. Much better! Just stop being a bunch of pussies, doods!" The Prinny acquired himself a makeshift jetpack.
"And as for you stupid ass rabbits! We're the real cute and cuddly mascots around here! Every last one of you... is a freakin' joke, doods!" The Prinny triumphantly stood atop the service stand. A Rabbid tried to snipe him from afar but the plunger was effortlessly caught out of the air. He snapped the projectile like a toothpick and gestured to the rest of the Prinnies.
"So let's give 'em hell doods!" The entire army gave a valiant rally cry of "That was cheesy as all hell, but YOU GOT IT, DOOD!" With newfound determination, the Prinnies charged into battle one last time. The now self proclaimed Hero Pringer ZX himself made a beeline for the stolen Metal Gear YAY tank. With the Pringer X lasers, he easily tore through the already damaged armor and vaporized the Rabbids controlling it from within.
The Prinnies were finally making progress in pushing their foes back but the Rabbid's big guns were still a massive problem. Pringer ZX once again made a beeline for the opposing army with another small squadron running by his side. "We're perfectly willing to do you know what, dood!" The squadron saluted as they closed in on the Rabbid's main forces.
With a simple nod, Pringer ZX spun around like a top to signal the Prinny Raid. All sorts of Prinnies rained down from the skies as living meteors of destruction, wreaking massive havoc among the Rabbid army. Pringer ZX himself nodded in approval when he noticed the massive damage the Rabbids were taking from the bombardments.
The Prinny's eyes were immediately on what he could only assume to be the Rabbid's leaders. His approach was halted by three Rabbid's dressed in tuxedos. They were actually carrying tasers instead of plungers. The Prinny readied his Pringer Beam and engaged in a surprisingly difficult firefight with the Rabbids in black. Only one Rabbid remained after a good minute of shots, flips, and rolls.
The Prinny readied his knives to close in on the last Rabbid but a fellow penguin finished the job for him with a Hellyes vehicle. This little scuffle was more than enough to attract the larger Rabbids and even one of their submarines. Hero Prinny was promptly joined by another squadron of his allies. "I've been waiting for this, dood!"
Most of the Rabbid's forces had been decimated at this point, much to the Hero Prinny's approval. "Then lets finish this, doods! We'll make our masters proud today!" The current squadron whipped out their arsenals and let everything loose on the Rabbid leaders. Some of the large Rabbids were forced off balance from the assault, prompting swarms of Prinnies to converge on the downed monster and give it an epic beat down, Mass Attack style.
Hero Prinny just finished hip pounding another Rabbid to open it up for another assault when suddenly, the lone yellow submarine transformed into a Gundam style mecha. The mech shot a homing missile at the Hero Prinny, but he only gave a hand signal in response. Right on cue, he leaped directly onto the missile and another Prinny closed in from behind to send the projectile back to its sender.
"Yipee ki yay, doods!" The Prinny shouted as he rode the missile all the way to its original owner. He jumped away to safety before colliding and let loose with another Prinny Barrage. The Rabbid's mech let out a creepy monotone laughter as it shrugged off the blasts and attempted to punch its enemy out of the air. The Prinny simply pulled off a double jump that truly defied the laws of physics and delivered a ground pound to the outstretched arm.
"Adios, asshole." The Prinny whipped out his trusty beam and unleashed a Prinny Fusillade on the confused Rabbid mech. The ensuing combo of lasers, explosions, and air slashes sent the mech tumbling through a wall. It produced a beautiful explosion upon impact with a conveniently placed fuel tank.
KO!
"Holy crap, dood! I can't believe we actually did it!" The Hero Prinny's makeshift Pringer armor was starting to fall apart, so he could not help throwing the pieces into the air in celebration. The Rabbids may have been defeated, but it certainly came at the cost of most of the participating Prinnies as well. Hero Prinny signalled his friends to gather together to pay respect for the fallen and prepare an explanation for just what the hell happened this night.
"Rest easy, doods. You deserve it."
Results[]
Nova: Theodore, are you actually crying?
Theodore: That ending, that speech, that heroic spirit... It was all so beautiful! These guys deserve a raise from us!
Alice: Now, you guys at home may be wondering just how in the hell the Prinnies were able to take down what should have been a vastly superior army.
Theodore: Sure, these guys may be lazy and incompetent, but they are capable of great things given the right effort and motivation.
Nova: The Hero Prinny in particular has defeated all sorts of demons leagues above its own abilities multiple times! Sure, the scarf may have been passed down plenty of times to to the amount of deaths suffered but a skilled enough player can beat the Prinny platformers without losing a single life!
Alice: Prinnies do start out embarrasingly weak in the main games as well. It takes a while for them to have any semblance of competence but once they do, they can kick just as much ass as an overlord!
Theodore: The Rabbids may have had the superior weaponry and all around cartoon durability, but their own stupidity is and always has been their greatest downfall. They don't know when to make a strategic retreat, unlike the usually cowardly Prinnies.
Alice: Lets not forget to mention the Prinnies excellent teamwork, which is miles above anything the Rabbids would be capable of understanding. The Rabbids were certainly capable of hitting harder, but that didn't mean a damn thing if a skilled enough Prinny dodged everything thrown at it.
Theodore: And once we start throwing in the really hard working Prinnies that actually took the effort to level grind... Let's just say that all notions of fairness are getting tossed out the window.
Nova: So, is anybody up for some lucky rabbit's feet tonight?
Theodore and Alice: NO!
Nova: The winners are the Prinnies!
Post Episode[]
Nova: Next time, on Team MMYP Death Battles...
Theodore: The mysterious masked attorney makes his grand debut...
Alice: ...Nova, Theo, what the hell are you-
Nova: But that is mere child's play compared to the return of the prosecuting prodigy-
Theodore: Wait, YOU'RE prosecuting against me? But Boomstick's innocent!
Nova: What, you thought I was narrating an epic court case? Think again, friend.
Alice: Okay, I have officially given up on the two of you.
Nova: Wait Allie! We've saved the... most important role for you! Yeah that's it...
???: Hey! I thought this was supposed to be my part!
Theodore: Change of plans, Cramer. You should probably consider this a blessing.
Alice: Excuse me?! You're making your cute and lovable robotic mascot the murder victim?! I'll have you know my standards are set so much higher than that!
???: Are we done switching roles now or what? I have a television debut to make too, you know!
Nova: Ha! You're pretty funny, Noire. You're only here as a means of celebrity appeal! The crowd just loves a good cameo appearance or two! Same goes to the rest of you, I'm the real star here!
Everybody else: That's BULLSHIT.
Wiz: Here I was thinking the show was supposed to be about us... Remember, Boomstick's still in jail?
*CRASH!*
Prinny: Oh, we are done putting up with this crap from not only the main characters... BUT OCs too?! NO WAY DOOD!" Lets crash this preview, doods! Viva la revolution!
Alice: Okay, all of you have officially lost me at this point.
Nova: Wait, don't end the preview yet! We still need to add a shameless plug for our game! It's gonna be a great chronicling of MY team's amazing adventures!
Noire: Are you kidding?! You haven't even started development yet! Who the hell in the right mind would even fund-
Theodore: Such tales of heroism to not deserve to go untold!
Link: HYAH!
Mario: *Speaks fake Italian*
Terumi: What the f*ck is even going on here?!
Ruby: Oh, don't forget me too!
Cramer: How many cameos did you guys cram into this damn place?!
Alice: Okay, I'm just shutting everything off now. The sooner the better.
Nova: No, wait!
Alice: Episode Clear!
...
Alice: Wow, are you guys still watching?
...
...How about a little request? In the event that you decide to post a comment down below, add in *Lower wages for Prinnies, dood!* at the end of your comment to let us know you actually read the entire episode!
Theodore: Are you trying to make our surviving workers even MORE miserable?
Nova: Thanks for your time! We hope you enjoyed yourselves, Nova out!