Kung Fu Panda vs Touhou Project! China's most hungry Panda takes on the Gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil Mansion in a No-holds barred Kung-Fu martial arts battle to the Death, which one will leave breathing? The Dragon Warrior? or the Gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil?
Interlude[]
Wiz:China is home to various masters of Martial Arts, Pandas, warriors, and of course, the warriors of the Dragons
.Boomstick:And both Combatants here are Masters of Chinese martial arts, one even being the Warrior of the Dragon, the Other harnessing the Element of Dragons, and even goddamn Rainbows!
Wiz:"Po Ping, The Dragon Warrior."
Boomstick:"And Hong Meiling, the Chinese Girl."
Wiz:"I'm Wiz and He's Boomstick, and It's our Job's to Analyze Weapons, Armor, and Skill to find out who would win...a Death Battle."
Po Ping[]
Wiz:Kung Fu, in the Land of China many dream to harness it's strength, prowess, and abilities.
Boomstick:"And in this strange China, where everyone here was an anthromorphic animal, noone was more eager to become a master of the martial art than Po.
Wiz:Little Lotus, or, Po Ping, lived in a Peaceful village filled with his Kind, living as a young cub with his Mother and Father, when the peace was disrupted by Shen, a Young Peacock who learned of a foretelling of his defeat by a creature of black and white.
Boomstick:"And whats Black and White? Pandas of course! Po's Mother carried him as far as he could until she hid him with in a fucking Crate of radishes, which of course he was soon discovered by his soon-to-be adopted father, Mr. Ping, who took him in as his youngen and taught him how to cook noodles for a living.
Wiz:"Years later, Po learned of the Furious FIve and Shifu and became obsessed with Kung Fu, hoping to one day be taught the Arts of Kung Fu by Shifu and Oogway, he would soon get his wish when Oogway deemed Po during what appeared to be a freak accident, The Dragon Warrior."
Po:"Me?" *He is shown moving, Oogways finger following Po.*
Oogway:"You!"
Boomstick:"Needless to say: Shifu and the Furious Five were not happy, and attempted to do everything in their power to make Po quit his dreams. but the more they tried, the more estatic Po got."
Wiz:"Soon, Po did get his true wish of becoming the Kung Fu master he always dreamed of being, but in a way noone expected."
Boomstick:"Po's type of Kung Fu fighting style is one he made up: The Panda Style, which involves using the foes strengths, and converting them into not only their weakness, but into his strength."
Wiz:"He demonstrates this in the fight against Tai Lung, utilzing his 260lb body as absolutely near Impervious defense, being immuned to Tai's Nerve attacks due to how fat he was, He is incredibly resistant to physical attacks, most of which do near nothing to him, unless his face is hit, that seems to be his weakspot."
Boomstick:"Po's weapon of choice is, to be blunt: ANYTHING he can get his hands onto, be it Pans to hide shit, large bamboo sticks to engage in long range combat, or a cart of FIREWORKS to increase his speed, he's incredibly resourceful, and will not hesitate to use anything in the field to his advantage. Another thing about Po is his obsession for Food, he gives even the hungriest men on earth competition, and even uses it to enhance his abilities, using his imagination to think the Scroll is a cookie, he climbs up a near bumpless wall and managed to almost get to the top in a mere 5 seconds!"
Wiz:"However, thats not even close to all of Po's Arsenal, in his Fated bout against Lord Shen, he managed to utilize his Ki to do something amazing: He deflected his armie's ultimate weapon..not once, not twice, but fourteen different times, all while dodging the various other shots that missed him."
Boomstick:"Even with all of that, he has one more trump card up his sleeve, the Wooshee Finger, an Attack that he figured out on his own, despite being incredibly difficult to master, Po mastered it on his first attempt of the move in his fight with Tai, which was the final blow to him."
Wiz:"However, in his fights with Kai he learned that the attack can take the enemy to the Spirit realm, but only to mortals, in which he used it ON himself while on Kai's back, sending them both to the Spirit Realm, in which after unleashing the full power of his Ki, he entered a form only accessable seemingly by the Dragon Warrior, converting all his Ki into a Dragon."
Boomstick:"The Dragon Warrior form Po harnessed enables him complete control of the Dragon he is encased in, as well as full out Flight, and it's every move is controlled by Po himself. Po also has an increase of speed obviously, as well as a increase of reaction time."
Wiz:"In this Form, his ultimate form is granting the foe ALL the Ki he has, and overloading them in said Ki, granting them a painful Implosion."
Boomstick:This Giant Panda is bulkier than a Tank, but has the stamina of a Sloth, getting easily exhausted after a little exercise, which is hilariously enough his favorite pastime before a duel.
Wiz:Another Weakness Po has is that he is a very Quick to excite Panda, and will enter any challenge he is requested from, should he be in a good mood, he's also one for Monologues during battle, which like anyone would know, leaves him wide open for a Clean attack, although those Monologues are for Villains."
Boomstick:"Either way, This Fatass of a Panda will crush you if he gets a chance, better hope your hungry for a Beating."
Tai:"The Whooshee finger! Master Shifu taught you that?!"
Po:"No, I figured it out...Skadoosh."
Hong Meiling[]
Wiz:Gensokyo.
Boomstick:"Seriously? are we doing another Girl from this franchise?"
Wiz:"Yep, and it's one we've seen before, The Scarlet Devil is a Manor that is frequently intruded into."
Boomstick:"You'd think they would've hired a Gatekeeper."
Wiz;"They did, Hong Meiling, the Chinese Youkai of the Dragon."
Boomstick:"Hong Meiling showed up in Gensokyo the same day the Scarlet Devil Manor showed up in Gensokyo on a Lone island, and has been guarding the Mansion for god knows how long."
Wiz:"Meiling is an Incredibly skilled fighter when it comes to the Tai Chi Chuan Martial Arts, and according to Remilia, she has no real weakness in fighting humans hand to hand, which is commonly assosiated as the reason why Meiling is the gatekeeper."
Boomstick:"That's not all she has, she has the ability to use Qi, which is what enables her Abilties of Flight, and her signature weapon of choice; Danmaku, which she has a shitton of, and she uses them in patterns she and the others of Gensokyo define as Spell Cards, as well as to improve her actual Martial Arts attacks."
Wiz:"Some of these Include the Water Taichi Fist, the Intense Rainbow Fist, and the Sky Dragon Kick, all of which are incredibly powerful Physical Attacks."
Boomstick:"And like we said, when shit gets real, she busts out her Spell Cards. Examples of these Include her Earth-Moving Star Bullets, her Improved Earth Dragon Sky Dragon Kick, and lastly, Colorful Sign: "Vivid Color Downpour, which is exactly what it means."
Wiz:Meiling is Physically Nearly unmatched, but she has been overwhelmed in Danmaku duels, she also is rather Lazy, but that laziness has canonically shown once, where she fell asleep for a few hours, fighting clones of Gensokyo Citizens, and the Great Catfish, which she kicked its fin straight back to Dreamland, unfortunately, that Nap is something none of the Fandom have forgotten, but even then, she's a tough cookie when she gets started.
Meiling and Reimu stand across each other, Meiling gives Reimu the "Come at me taunt"
Death Battle[]
(Setting: Around The Jade Palace and the Valley of Peace, 2PM)
Fireworks hit the Sky of China as many Anthronamorphic Animals were currently celebrating the Dragon Warrior's victory between the Chi thief Kai, and what better way than a Festival and a Spar with the Dragon Warrior himself?!
The festival involved various Festivities such as a Dumpling eating Contest, noodle cooking competitions, and even Chi harnessing Lessons by the Dragon Warrior's own father, Li. The Festival has hit word of Even beings out of this world, Gensokyo's Scarlet Devil Remilia has intended alongside Maiden Sakuya Izayoi, little Sister Flandre Scarlet, and the One who requested the Trip to the Festival, the Gatekeeper, Hong Meiling.
Meiling:"This is so Awesome! I Can't believe We are actually at my Home Country for a Festival!" Meiling said in Pride, Remilia snickered as she remarked at her Servants excitement. "Hong, you literally paid for this with your Weekly pay, I don't think it's THAT Shocking." Remilia snickered as she flapped her wings from underneath her Parasol Sakuya was currently holding over Her head.
"Good Point, well.." Meiling is interupted as she notices a Flyer stating a Spar with the Dragon Warrior, she takes the flyer..and smirks. "Sakuya, please take Miss Flan's Parasol, I need to go challenge the Dragon Warrior!" Meiling tosses Sakuya Flandre's Parasol and rushes off to the Desired Location the poster mentioned, Sakuya merely looks on in annoyance.
"Shall I stop her, Mistress?" Sakuya asked with a Calm demeanor, her eyes slowly shifting Red, as Remilia urged Sakuya to knock off the shift in her mood. "Sakuya, don't~ Something tells me whatever is about to take place...is gonna be very fun to watch~" Remilia remarked.
The Dragon Warrior, also known as Po was currently readying the Sign-ups, Po was a Shapely Panda, 260lbs of Furry Fury, and only was Wearing burlap shorts as he sat at the Battlefield of where the Spar was taking place.
Po:"Hmm..Hey! Tigress! Quick question!" Po called out as he was eating some of his Adopted fathers Special noodles, slurping them rather audibly as Tigress and the rest of the Fearsome 5 walk out of the Palace, curious of his question.
Po:"Sweet! I Just need to ask, What time does the festival say my Sparings can start?" Po asked, Tigress responded with a stern answer, like usual. "2:30, Why? you just finish making the sign up sheets?" Tigress asked with a rather annoyed look on her face.
Po:"...Maybe? Can you all Go place them around the Festival activities? I'd like to...uhhh...Exercise before My Spars...Yeah! thats it!" Po successfully urged Tigress and co to do this Chore and handed the Fearsome 5 the Sign-up sheets for Sparings, and They all head off to post the sign-ups all over...While Po eagerly devours his Noodles. "Ahhh...Perfect! just like he usually makes." Po speaks to himself as he continues to consume the Noodles, The gate that keeped Jade Palace blocked off suddenly is kicked open, causing Po to cough up some noodles, then slurp them right back up.
Po:"What the Heck just happened?!"
In front of the Kicked open Door is a Lone Woman, clothed in White sweatpants, a Traditional Chinese Dress mixed with a Red Guards typical uniform, She wore a Green beret with a Star with the tradition chinese words meaning Dragon upon it, Her red hair swayed in the wind as her Aqua eyes glanced at Po's Green shocked eyes.
Hong Meiling:"Oh, Sorry about the Violent entrance, your Door seemed a Bit weaker than it looked, Haha!" Meiling sweats a Bit as she scratched the Back of her head, chuckling softly and rather boastfully, Po simply stood up and chuckled calmly.
Po:"Hahah, It's Cool Miss...uhh, Have we met before?" Po tilted his Head as He consumed more Noodles, Meiling chuckled and introduced herself formally, albiet somewhat Prideful. "The name's Hong Meiling! I'm here Looking for the Dragon Warrior! I wanna spar with them!" She announced, Po looking visibly surprised as he swallows his Noodles.
Po:"You wanna Spar with me? Heh, well..your Rather early! But i can't refuse a Formal Request like this! So, I Want you to bring your Best!" Po got in a Fighting Position, forgetting the Noodles he was holding for a Moment, Meiling was tooken aback by the shock of the Rather chubby Panda in front of her being the Dragon Warrior, but got in her stance, Her legs apart, one straight, the other bent, and she puts her hands in front of her were a Smirk.
Po:"Hold on!" Po suddenly finishes up the rest of his Noodles in a Single gulp and Burped rather loudly.
Po:"ALRIGHT! Names Po! Let's Get this Party Started!" Po shouted in Excitement.
FIGHT!
Meiling advances towards Po as he cautiously approaches Meiling, both throwing a Punch at the same time, blocking boths impact, as Meiling retaliates with a swift punch to the stomach, she found her fist bouncing back as Po's tummy jiggles in response, his Stomach was fluffy and soft, Po looked like it tickled him!
Meiling:"Yeesh...your Stomach is softer than my Pillow!"
Po:"Thanks! but enough Chitchat!"
Po instantly responds after saying that with a swift belly gong in Meilings abdomen, sending her Careening into the Gate, she winces as she grabs her shoulder in pain, before ignoring the pain, and rushing towards Po, who was lifting his left foot a few inches off the ground, Meiling avoided his foot stomping on hers by delivering a painful strike to Po's Face with her Knee, it sent him flying upwards, Meiling smirked as she jumped up and punched him in multiple areas, before Drop Kicking him into the ground.
Po:"Wahah OW!!"
Po slammed into a Tree with a Few Fallen Bamboo sticks around them. Po gets up and grabs them, and whacks Meiling across the Jaw with a swift strike of his newly obtained Bamboo. Meiling rubs her Jaw as Po attempted to Pole Vault into her, and failed...kinda, the Bamboo snapped and he instead slammed his fat rear onto her before both of them Bounced back up.
Po:"Thats gotta sting.."
Po ignores what he says as he elbows Hong in her back, sending her Crashing back into the Cement Floor with a Dull thud.
Po:"Give up toots?" Po gloated softly as he started to flex, showing his fat muscles.
Meiling got right back up, which wasn't the only shocking part about this, the biggest shock was the Qi surrounding her Body, she jumped up and flew right into Po, grabbing a hold of him before suplex him into the Ground, She smirked as she pulled out a Spell Card as Po tried to get back up.
Meiling is surrounded by Light Green energy spheres that circle her body, they multiply from the twenties, to the fourties, then eighties, then hundreds, Meiling releases the barrage of danmaku towards Po, who gets up and sees the large pattern.
Po:"Since when did Kung Fu involve crazy bullets?!"
Meiling:"Ever since it involved Bamboo Weaponry!"
Po and Meiling stared each other down, they both knew that this got extraordinarily hectic now.
Meiling released the Barrage towards Po, who closed his Eyes, before imagining Meiling dressed in a Rice Cake, he utilized his hunger to jump over the danmaku and avoid the attack, before swiftly delivering a swift butt slap into Meiling's stomach, sending her flying further into the air.
Meiling landed on her feet as she frowned, Po rushes toward Meiling, who retaliates by stepping on his Toes, causing him to reel back, giving Meiling a quick opportunity to sweep Po's Legs, before delivering an incredibly powerful uppercut to his Jaw, before flying towards his Destination, and elbowing Po towards the stairs, he of course falls down it in a rather hilarious manner, as Po lands in the festival as he stands up as Meiling and him stare each other down as everyone starts to watch.
Remilia:"Go Meiling!"
Shifu:"Po! Make sure to give your all!"
Meiling raises her fist as it immediately glows in a Beautiful Way, she flies toward Po at an impressive speed, before revealing it was actually a spell card.
------------------------------ Chi Sign "Star Bullet" -------------------------------------------
Meiling releases a Bright Blue sphere of Energy Towards Po, Po yelps inshock, before calming down, He closed his eyes as time seemed to slow for everyone.
Po gets into position as he readies himself, grabbing the Star Bullet as it hits, and using all the force in his Body to send it flying back, Hitting Meiling in the Chest and sending her into a Festival Hut.
Meiling:"Ngh...How did you do that?!"
Po:"That's easy, All I did was...Actually, I'll tell you after our Match."
Meiling stands up with fire in her Eyes, Holding up yet another Spell Card, she gripped it tightly as she Watched Po's movements, He was looking around for a familiar scent. Noodles! Po jumped over to the stall and paid for the Noodles before grabbing the Pot.
Po:"Let's Spice things up!"
Meiling grinned as she had a smart Idea, keeping her fist Closed tightly, she ran towards Po, as he flung the Noodle around her waist and pulled Meiling closer to him for a swift Belly Gong attack, but was interupted by a Swift Punch, as Meiling announced the Spell Card she Initiated.
Meiling's fists glowed a vibrate Rainbow of Colors as she began an incredibly speedy barrage of Punches that began to overwhelm the Dragon Warrior, he was groaning as Meiling finished up the combo of Punches with a Punch to the jaw sending Po and the Pot he had into the Hill that houses the stairs to Jade Palace, Po Groans in pain as he slowly gets back up, the Pot hilariously stuck on his Big head.
Meiling:"Need help?" Meiling walked over, before getting Gonged by the Large Pot, Causing her to groan and rub her Head, and within seconds, she was in an Armlock with Po, who had himself in a Whooshee Finger hold around Meiling.
Meiling:"W-What are you Doing?!" Meiling watched as Po performed the Whooshee Finger hold around them.
Po:"...Skadoosh!"
A Huge and Bright light envelopes the Two as the Cherry Blossoms around the Arena flew by, and within their Flowing time, Both Combatants had seemingly vanished.
---- Setting: Spirit Realm, 2:10PM ----
Both Combatants were forced out of the Hold as they landed at separate sides of this brand new Battlefield. Meiling looked around astonished at her new surroundings
Po:"Impressed? this is the Spirit Realm, I decided to bring us here for the last portion of our bout to give you a taste of the Dragon Warrior!"
As Po said that, he enveloped himself in his own Ki, The Ki converted around Po's body, into the form of a Dragon, Po floated up in front of Meiling, who immediately responded by bringing out 5 Spell Cards, looking at the remaining 5 Spell cards, Before holding up one.
Instantly, She glowed a Beautiful Golden Color as she utilized all the Qi in her system to enter this form, she flings the Card she used onto a Rock, The Spell Card was none other than..
----------- Chi Sign "Fierce Tiger Energy Release" -------------
Both Po and Meiling stared each other down as Po flew around the Gatekeeper, Meiling jumped off the Edge and Flew into Po, punching him with incredible force, Sending him Flying into a Shrine, Po groans meekly as he Flies back towards Meiling, who Grabs Another Spell card.
------------ Chi Sign "Earth Dragon Sky Dragon Kick" -------------
Meiling's Glow increases in Power as she Flies toward Po, her Foot glowing brighter than Any part of her Body, she launched herself at Full Force into Po's Dragon Snout, he winces as he Retaliates by Slamming his Tail into Meiling, launching her into a Floating island, she frees herself from her Freefall and Flies back towards Po, she throws a Punch as he wraps around her with his Tail, throwing her straight into the ground, causing a dull thud and a impactful impact, Meiling groans weakly as she stands back up.
Po chuckles as Meiling slowly struggles to stand back up, Her clothes were all tattered and ripped, and her Star Cap were bruised but Meiling's Spirit was as strong as ever, she readies her fist as she growls in anger.
Meiling:"I'm not losing to you, Dragon Warrior! Get ready to lose!!"
Meiling pulled out one last Spell Card, she had a few others, but she was ready to finish off this Match, she shoots to the Sky and flies toward Po at her fastest speeds.
Po:"I Hope your Hungry, Miss, because I've got a Heaping helping of Ki with your Name on it!"
Po flows the Dragon surrounding him around his Paws, shrinking somewhat as he readies to unleash his Ki, as Meiling unleashes her final and ultimate Spell Card;
Meiling flies toward Po at her foe as Po unleashes his Ki, in which it Engulfs Meiling in the Dragon Shaped Ki, she absorbs the Entire Attack, as she Slams her Palm into Po's Chest, before blitzing past Him, Po feels himself being radiated by the Rainbow Energy, as it Implodes upon Meiling Standing up.
*BOOM!!!*
Meiling smiles as she starts to look behind her, but stops as she falls over in incredible pain, she looks down at the glowing golden light radiating from her body, Her eyes widen as she braces for the attack, Meiling implodes in upon herself, Her Garment and Hat slowly float down onto the ground where she was.
Po slowly gets up, bleeding around his face, and incredibly bruised all around, he groans as he looks around weakly.
"Where...where did she go?" Po looks down at the Hat and Cloth of his Opponent and gulps.
"Whoops, Uhm....Sorry about that Miss, I guess I got Carried away in that fight." Po Laughed softly as he returns to the real world.
KO!!
Meiling's Clothing is given to Remilia as she looks down in disapproval.
Po returns to his Position, and takes a Nap.
Outcome[]
Wiz:Yikes...This was a rather upsetting defeat.
Boomstick:Yeah..While Hong boasted more Speed, Destructive Capabilies, and a bit more experience than Po, Po has more Bulk, Strength, and even once he was in the Spirit Realm, had the Speed advantage.
Wiz:Another flaw that Garanteed Meiling's Demise was the fact that Danmaku is usually not that deadly, instead its mostly used more for sport, and while it's Painful, it's not nessecarily...Deadly.
Boomstick:Po also could use all of Meiling's powerful Physical attacks against her utilizing his fighting style, while she was able to outmanuever him for a period of time, Po's Fighting style ended up tiring Meiling out, which really crippled her for the remainder of the fight.
Wiz:Finally, Meiling's stats were superior in the beginning, but as the fight Progressed, Po became the Superior one, utlizing both enviroment, and his Opponents abilities to his advantage.
Boomstick:As the Battle Dragoned, Po wounded up tasting Victory in the end.
Wiz:The Winner is Po Ping.
Next Time[]
Settings, The Badlands, Keyblade Graveyard --------
A Gummi Ship arrived at the Barren Area, it seemed like the Place was vacant, not even the Armored Man was in his Usual Spot, but it wasn't entirely vacant.
Goofy:"Gawrsh Sora, Are you sure that this is a Good Idea?"
Donald:"Whoever this person is could be a Member of Xehanorts Organization XIII!"
Donald and Goofy watched as a Young Teenager in a mostly Black Uniform jumped off the Ship, He had a Silver Crown Necklace around his Neck as his Hair was so vibrant it could sink the titanic, his Name was Sora, the Keyblade Wielder.
Sora:"I'll be fine, when I need you, I'll call for You too for a Bit, alright?"
Donald and Goofy:"Ok..."
The Gummi Ship closed as Sora walked up the to a Mysterious Person Garbed in Black, she was sitting on one of the larger Boulders..She was consuming a Blue Lollipop as she looked down.
???:"Oh? Your new, Who are you?" The Woman asked Sora as she smiled.
Sora:"My Name is Sora, I'm looking for a Man in Armor, he is usually here."
The Mysterious Woman was taken aback by his sentence and giggled.
???:"Oh that Tincan? I managed to dispose of it with ease, why?"
Sora frowned at this Response. "You what?!" He impulsively Summoned his Keyblade, the Kingdom Key.
Sora:"Who are you?!" Sora asked as his Weapon was poised and ready, the Mysterious lady jumped down in front of Sora and brandished to Blue Pistols.
???:"My Friends Call me Ceraza, but you, Naughty Boy, will call me Bayonetta, and you need to be taught a Lesson~"
