This is the first battle of the first season of death battles created by VShuffler42. Please enjoy it.
Prelude[]
Wiz: What is one thing almost every kid wants to learn?
Boomstick: Why Martial Arts, of course. Unfortunately, most fictional characters that promote it end up being god-like.
Wiz: That being said, there are some awesome mortal martial artists.
Boomstick: Like Po, The Dragon Warrior from Kung Fu Panda
Wiz: And Hercule Satan, the DB universe's "Champion" of Justice
Boomstick: Why is he called that again?
Wiz: Anyway, I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick.
Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze... What was it again?
Wiz: ...their armor, weapons, and skill to see--
Boomstick: --Who would win in a DEATH BATTLE!!!
Description[]
Po the Panda[]
Wiz: Po was born a regular panda in a peaceful village.
Boomstick: Well at least until some crazy peacock named Lord Shen heard a prophecy that if he continued down the path of evil he would beaten by a warrior of black and white. He misinterpreted it and then killed every last panda he came across.
Wiz: During the attack though, Po's mother hid Po in a basket then ran away, sacrificing herself to save her son. Then he was found by a humble goose cook named Ping.
Boomstick: And so he raised the young panda for multiple years until Po got bored of being a cook and got obsessed with kung fu.
Wiz: During the day of choosing the Dragon Warrior at the temple, Po ultimately took the opportunity and got locked out.
Boomstick: So he used some fireworks to get a better view and ended up falling and crashing in the middle of the choosing ceremony. When he awoke, he realized that he was picked to be the Dragon Warrior and ultimately had to learn kung fu.
Wiz: He then spent the whole of the first movie learning it. Afterwards, he beat Tai Lung and went on with his life.
Boomstick: Then in the second movie, he avenged his parents by defeating Lord Shen by obtaining inner peace. And then in the third movie, he found out that his dad was still alive, learned how to harness chi, and defeated Kai.
Wiz: Po is a master of kung fu with quick reflexes and strength like any martial artist should. He is very durable and can withstand most attacks.
Boomstick: He's so big and fat that the punches just bounce right off him! Just like my wife...
Wiz: Anyway, His most impressive kung fu technique has to be the legendary Wuxi Finger Hold. It is a secret move that very few learn. The user grabs the opponent's fingertip with his/her index finger and thumb with his/her pinky held upright and then flexes the pinky downward.
Boomstick: Somehow this move messes up the opponent so badly that it not only insta-kills them, it also sends a powerful shockwave that pushes the wind for miles. Too bad it can only be used on mortals.
Wiz: Not only that, but Po can also obtain inner peace. When in this mind state, Po can react so fast, he is able to catch and throw back balls of molten metal shot from cannons.
Boomstick: That takes some serious reaction speed. He can also use Chi, whatever that is, to do all sorts of stuff. Like summon a Giant Dragon made out of the stuff and fire it at his opponents.
Wiz: However, he does have his weaknesses. He is so large that it is easy to hit him if you can match his speed and do a powerful enough punch. He also still has a lot to learn in the ways of kung fu and can be quite child-like. He is also very clumsy when it comes to regular life and his large size can get him into trouble sometimes.
Boomstick: But that really doesn't matter, since he can ride and maneuver a rolling cart powered by fireworks making him one awesome panda.
Po: Buddy, I am the Dragon Warrior.
Hercule Satan[]
Wiz: In the Dragon Ball Universe, there are tons of amazingly strong characters that could obliterate most opponents.
Boomstick: ...And then there's this guy. Hercule Satan. Man, this guy is lousy.
Wiz: Don't be so dissatisfied. He actually won the 24th World Martial Arts Tournament when the Z fighters was on Namek.
Boomstick: Tell me, how does a guy like him become World Champion of Anything?
Wiz: After witnessing his master be killed and himself be seriously injured by a mercenary after making fun his hair style, he vowed not only to not fight those he didn't know or he thought as crazy strong, but to also hone his skills to the point of becoming the World Champion.
Boomstick: I still don't get how he's not dead.
Wiz: Don't underestimate him. In terms of regular humans, he is actually really strong. He once did a karate chop so powerful it broke and split 14 concrete tiles and cracking the 15th. He can also pull 4 buses singlehandedly and punch through a bus as well.
Boomstick: He is also pretty fast, being able to seem like he's teleporting to the normal human eye. He can jump impressive heights with no damage upon hitting the ground.
Wiz: He is also pretty durable, being able to survive being launched into the air resulting in his head hitting a rock wall.
Boomstick: And if that's not enough, he can always pull out either his jetpack or his trusty 45-caliber handgun. Ah, guns. One of my best friends.
Wiz: Well, as fan knows, Hercule Satan is far from perfect. He is usually is egocentric and underestimates his enemies. When he finally realises that he will lose, he usually resorts to cheating his way to victory in order to keep his reputation.
Boomstick: But overall, he's pretty powerful...for a normal human.
Hercules: Go if you want, but a true champion never runs from danger.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all...
Boomstick: It's Time For A DEATH BATTLE!!!!
Death Battle[]
A helicopter hovers overhead a barren landscape. A cameraman is leaning out facing his video camera towards the present battle between Goku and Majin Boo.
Announcer: Welcome to the world's first Open Arena Martial Arts Tournament! We are coming live from this wasteland to present the world's first martial arts tournament to the death! We would not have been able to arrange this if ... Uh, Someone hadn't given us the opportunity to use the DragonBalls to revive any lost fighters! This tournament had been going on for about a week and now the semi-finals have arrived! Will our Champion of Justice, Hercule Satan, hold up his title or will a new challenger gain the title?
Goku then manages to destroy Majin Boo with the Spirit Bomb.
Announcer: Wow! Looks like our first battle has been concluded. With an amazing move, Goku has destroyed Majin Boo! Goku moves to the Fina--
Goku: I resign. I beat Majin Boo. I think I'm done for today.
Announcer: Oh well, since there are only two contestants left, we now move to the finals. Our first contestant is our Champion of Justice, who has saved the Earth from disaster multiple times, Hercule Satan!!!
A huge audience applauds after watching their TV.
Announcer: And his challenger, the Dragon Warrior from China, Po!!!
Sounds of crickets fill the room. Then silence.
Announcer: Who will win in this arena-less battle? Let's find out! 3...2...1...Begin!
Hercule: You can't beat me! Hey, so are you sure you have the DragonBalls to revive us? Cause you gonna need to use it.
Po: Can we just fight already?
They collide with each other for a bit sending both fighters backwards. Po quickly recovered and stood back up. He got into a kung fu stance. Satan, disappointed he couldn't beat Po easily and wanting to end it quickly, recuperate and charged at Po. The panda dodged most of the attacks and tried to counter attack using a simple kung fu technique. Hercule blocked the attack and punched Po in the face sending him flying towards a fireworks cart.
Hercule: Easy.
Suddenly Po came flying down riding a cart powered by fireworks and uppercut Hercule right under the chin, sending the Champion of Justice flying into the air and then hitting his head on the rocky ground.
Announcer: Ouch! Looks like our favorite fighter has been knocked into the air! Will he get up? Let's See!
Audiences all around the world sat staring at their TVs anxious to see whether the legendary Hercule Satan had survived.
Hercule then got up from the rubble, bruised and battered, and thought to himself, " This Guy is actually pretty strong, I can't let him ruin my reputation... I can't hold back."
Announcer: Our Champion of Justice has survived! Just like we he would!
Hercule's ego then took over prompting him to put up two fingers, a peace sign, to silently announce his future victory.
Announcer: Look at that! Our Hercule Satan has prophesied his victory!
He then put down his hand and charged Po at full speed and strength and rapidly pummeled the panda. Po thought to himself,"He is stronger than I thought... But I can't let my friends down. I need to find inner peace."
Po then back flipped kung fu style and the mental state of inner peace. Hercule, confused, tried to plummet him again and Po ultimately dodged every one. Hercule started to worry and thought "I need to use it." He then uses his Dynamite Mess Em Up Punch, rapidly hitting Po in the stomach.
Hercule: (screaming) You're all washed up!
Po: Stop it! Stop it! I'm gonna pee!
Hercule's special move only tickled the panda. Hercule, now frustrated and confused, tried to do a finishing blow. Po quickly reacted stopping Hercule's first, grabbing Satan's middle finger with his index finger and thumb, and then raised his pinky.
Hercule panicked, and tried to take out his hand gun, resulting with Po swatting it away.
Po: Aw, don't cheat. This battle was fun but I think it's over now. Ska-Doosh.
Po then flexes his pinky downward, ultimately destroying Hercule and causing a shockwave that spread across the wasteland.
K.O.
Announcer and Audiences: Uh...
Later, the fighters are shown being revived while Po and Goku teach each other their techniques.
Afterlude[]
Wiz: Even though Hercule has more physical punching strength and possibly speed than Po, Po trumps him in every other aspect. Reaction time, durability, and practically every other aspect worth mentioning, Po defeats Hercules.
Boomstick: While Hercule survived being hit by Cell into the air and then hitting his head on a rock, Po has survived hits from Tai Lung, Shen, and Kai, all of which could easily defeat Mr. Satan.
Wiz: And while Hercule did have enough reaction speed to win the 24th World Tournament, Po has enough reaction speed to not only catch but send back balls of molten metal shot from a cannon.
Boomstick: Looks like Hercule Satan has been PO-wed down to size.
Wiz: The winner is Po.
Note from the Author[]
This is my first battle so have mercy if it's bad.
I wanted to let Po use Chi as well but I took it out because 1) I thought it would be overkill and 2) He only used the Golden Dragon in the Spirit Realm so I don't know whether he can use it in real life.
Thank you for reading. (P.S. I don't know how to do pictures because I do these on my Kindle. Sorry about that)