A wish came true... A dream became a reality...
This is set to become an actual Death Battle. Check Out The Official Death Battle Here.
Pinkie Pie vs Deadpool is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.
Description
Marvel VS My Little Pony. Which one of these two infamous Fourth Wall Breakers win?
Interlude
Wiz: The fourth wall. A mysterious thing that only few are able to break.
Boomstick: And fourth wall breakers practically always will win any fight as they can do just about anything and pull anything out from their magic sacks.
Wiz: Such as Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter
Boomstick: And Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth
Wiz: Who has appeared on this show before.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick
Wiz: And It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a Death Battle
Pinkie Pie
Wiz: Pinkie Pie started out her life on a rock farm with her two sisters and her parents. Being the black sheep of the family with pink hair and a pink body, unlike her family who has brown and gray manes and coats.
Boomstick: Okay, first of all what the hell is a rock farm? Second of all, she's either adopted or her mom was seeing someone else.
Wiz: Who knows. Anyways, Pinkie Pie is the most energetic and outgoing of all of the Mane 6; the main group of ponies. As such she is one of the Elements of Harmony: Laughter.
Boomstick: So bronies actually LAUGH at this chick? PAH!
Wiz: No, they most likely don't as she is considered to be the least favorite of all the main characters.
Boomstick: Well okay then.
Wiz: Pinkie Pie is a fourth wall breaker, meaning that she can pull practically anything out of anything. If she wanted to pull out a giant laser she could. But she has been seen able to pull a giant party cannon out of no where.
Boomstick: Despite the fact it fires confetti, it was shown able to defeat a multitude of changelings, meaning the force of the pellets of confetti flying out are enough to push a horse, which normally weighs 840 - 1,210 pounds. This means that Pinkie does not follow the laws of physics and could practically do anything. Or actually, just her cannon does.
Wiz: And she also has her all mighty Joy Buzzer.
Boomstick: This thing's electric pulse has been show to electrocute people and leave them a little charred. Also, for some reason, she has pastries at her disposal.
Wiz: And Pinkie has something called "The Pinkie Sense". Where if her tail twitches, something is about to fall. If her ears flop, she will prepare a bath for some reason. When her back is itchy, it's her lucky day. If her knees are pinching, something "scary" is about to happen.
Boomstick: Yeah, 30 year old men who watch a little kids show-
*a punching sound is heard*
Boomstick: Ow.
Wiz: When her shoulder is aching, there is an alligator in the tub. When her nose itches, a swarm of bees will appear. And finally, when she shudders, something unexpected is going to happen.
Boomstick: Pinkie Pie's cartoonish behavior also benefits her, as she can run insanely fast. She can also teleport as well, appearing virtually almost everywhere. She can even create duplicates of herself if she wanted to.
Wiz: She is just as fast as Rainbow Dash flying, which is Mach 5, or 1,701.45 meters a second.
Boomstick: So if she tackles you at that speed you're more than likely to explode?
Wiz: More than likely. As a punch hitting you at 200 miles per hour would be enough to kill a human.
Boomstick: Even still, Pinkie Pie is one tough pony to fight.
Deadpool
Wiz: Wade Wilson, the merc with a mouth was doomed to die by cancer.
Boomstick: And luckily for him, the Department K found his cry for help and then he was taken to the Weapon X program... that is until after being injected with Wolverine's healing factor and becoming a surgical playground while doomed to being a giant walking tumor, he became Deadpool.
Deadpool: Dayum right I am!
Boomstick: Gah damnit here we go again.
Wiz: Just ignore him, Boomstick. We have a job to do. Anyways, Deadpool is a master of-
Deadpool: Leave it to the all-stars, Ben. I possess Superhuman Strength, Stamina, and Speed and on top of that: I'm a skilled martial artist, a seasoned assassin, and many more things-
*a gunshot is heard*
Boomstick: I was getting tired of his bullshit. Anyways, Deadpool has the magic satchel effect. He can literally pull anything out of thin air.
Deadpool: That was a nice nap. Also, I could probably pull that stick out of your ass, Boomstick.
Boomstick: That's it I'mma gonna kill you!
*the sound of an office chair moving is heard and so is the cocking of a shotgun*
Deadpool: Hehe, the writer said "cocking". Well then, I guess I'll be going now. Catch me if you can, Boomy!
Boomstick *getting fainter as he runs* Get the fuck over here you son of a fucking bitch in red tights!
Wiz: Well then. Deadpool has an assortment of weaponry as well. He carries two twin katanas, twin sais, two mallets used for swinging and killing, akimbo pistols, a shotgun, and a pulse rifle.
Deadpool: Yes I am all powerful and everyone should worship me. *a door opens* Hello, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Where did you leave off, Wiz, I want to end this fucking quickly.
Wiz: Umm... I just got done naming his weapons, go on.
Boomstick: Deadpool can sadly survive almost everything that is thrown at him. He has had his heart ripped out and skyscrapers fall on him all thanks to his insane healing factor.
Wiz: But he thinks he's invincible and nothing can kill him... which things can.
Boomstick: And Deadpool is a fourth wall aware. If he has a health bar, he will literally use it to home run his opponents. If there is text he'll push it away. He can run off without the camera and wait for the camera guy to follow him.
Wiz: And all of this makes Deadpool one of the most dangerous superheroes to fight.
Fight
Deadpool is thrown into a world by what seems to be Iron Man. Whoever it is screams and stay out as Deadpool falls down and lands in the middle of a town and all of its inhabitants flee into their houses. He shakes himself off and turns to face the empty place.
Deadpool: Great, get thrown through an interdimensional transporter to some unknown world just for all the inhabitants to run and flee from me. Oh hello their, audience.
A lone pony starts to walk down the street playing multiple instruments at once.
Deadpool: Daw, look at the cute little pony and his- *deadpool bends down to look at what gender it is* I mean her little curls.
He then turns around and starts to talk to himself.
Deadpool: Note to self, when talking to someone always check and see if they have a dick or not.
He turns back to face the pony again.
Deadpool: Did you come form the circus or something? I guess I'll have to bring you back.
He grabs it by the mane and begins to drag is as it tries to pull back.
Deadpool: Why are you so damn heavy? Stop being a stubborn horse and move!
He looks to see he was dragging a bag of rocks. he feels a pressure on his head.
???: Hi, my name is Pinkie Pie!
Deadpool looks up to see the pony on his head.
Deadpool: Well would ya look at that. Well aren't you just a giant ray of sunshi-
Pinkie Pie jumps off of him and bucks him into a wall. She then proceeds to hop on him a lot, breaking his bones. Deadpool pushes her off and his bones reconnect.
Deadpool *in a western accent*: Well now, pardna', looks like ya just dug your own diggity don' grave here. *breaking accent* Oh wait, can I be the undertaker?
Pinkie Pie: Sure, and I can be the policeman!
Deadpool: Oh, and we can have this really cool gallow play set and you can be the one who HANGS from it!
Pinkie Pie: Yaay, fun!
FIGHT!
Deadpool leaps at Oinkie Pie with his twin katanas and prepares to hack and slash until he starts and laughing at something.
Deadpool: Pfft, the writer said "Oinkie Pie" ha!
Pinkie suddenly leaps forward and headbutts Deadpool, sending him flying into a wall. Deadpool slashes at Pinkie, but she hops around the katanas with easy and bucks him repeatedly against the same wall.
Deadpool: Gah! My stomach, it's cramping!
Deadpool kicks Pinkie Pie away and quickly runs at her and slashes randomly. He notices that she isn't there anymore and looks around.
Pinkie Pie: This is fun!
Deadpool looks and sees that the horse is on his head. The latter throws her off and throws a sai at her. However she moves out of the way in time and jumps towards Deadpool.
Pinkie Pie: Hugs!
Pinkie Pie body slams Deadpool and he struggles to get her off of him. He punches her away and throws both of his katanas after her. She dodges and steps on them and they break.
Pinkie Pie: Oops, didn't mean to do that!
Deadpool: Looks like it's time to bring out Butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!
Deadpool takes out his two machine guns and begins to fire at Pinkie Pie, who just hops around and avoids all the fire.
Deadpool: WHY AREN'T YOU DYING?
Pinkie Pie tackles Deadpool and they both go flying into Twilight's Library. There, Pinkie Pie throws multiple books at Deadpool and one of them hits him in the groin, causing him to keel over in pain. Deadpool throws a table at Pinkie Pie and then throws books at it with an extreme force.
Deadpool: That should've been enough to kill her-
Pinkie Pie: Oh DEADPOOL!
Deadpool: Did someone say my name? Do I have a surprise party waiting for me?
Deadpool turns around to see a bright colored cannon in his face. Pinkie Pie, behind it, presses a button and confetti, along with Deadpool, is sent flying through the wall. He lands and the force causes his leg to fall off a few feet away. Pinkie Pie suddenly appears and takes Deadpool's leg to him. Deadpool looks at this kind act in awe.
Deadpool: Even though we're fighting, you're still going to help me?
Pinkie Pie: Sure!
Deadpool: *sniffs* You know, I never truly met someone as kind as you-
Deadpool begins to reattach his leg but is electrocuted. Pinkie had her joy buzzer on and Deadpool, being shocked so much, was sent flying through an unseen wall and into an unknown area. Pinkie Pie follows in pursuit
WHERE DID THEY GO?
Wiz: It seems they went into another battle.
Boomstick: SHIT, follow them!
*The screen warps and small text appears saying "Ghirahim VS Dabura"*
The death of Dabura had just been finished and pieces of him were still flying. Unluckily for Pinkie Pie, she was hit by a piece and Deadpool appeared from nowhere.
Deadpool: SHORYUKEN!
Deadpool hit the pony in the jaw with the uppercut, sending her into the air. He soon jumped up and attempted to slice at her with a sai but she appears below him and she runs to Ghirahim and steals one of his swords. She runs back to where Deadpool is about to fall and cuts him in half. He regenerates and then the two clash swords and eventually Deadpool wins and kicks her through another wall and Deadpool follows.
Ghirahim: What the hell just happened?
*Rex Salazar VS Ben Tennyson*
Rex and Ben were in the middle of battle. It was Humongousaur VS Smack Hands and Ben was gaining the upper hand until he felt something on his back.
Pinkie Pie: Oh Mr. Dino-Man! Can you please hurt the one who's trying to hurt me?
Ben looked to see Deadpool staring in horror at him. Ben slowly walked towards Deadpool, picked him up, slammed him into the ground two times, and then threw him past another invisible wall. Pinkie Pie followed him right after.
*Punch-Out Boxers VS Balrog*
Sandman had just defeated Balrog with one swift punch to the head, more than likely who skull had been crushed. He was just about to leave when he heard screaming and then someone crashed into him. He stood up pissed off. Deadpool laughed nervously and was then punched up into the air and landed on the giant broadcast screens. Pinkie Pie then appeared at that moment.
Deadpool: Now's my chance.
Pinkie Pie began to engage conversation with Sandman, who rubbed his eyes at a talking pony before the giant screens became crashing down on top of him and Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: That wasn't very nice!
Deadpool looked and saw that Pinkie Pie was in the bleachers with 3D glasses and popcorn.
Deadpool: Oh come on! What is it going to take to kill a fucking horse?
Pinkie Pie runs away behind another invisible wall. Deadpool is about to leave when he sees the detached hand of Sandman. He takes out $20 and places it in his hand.
Deadpool: This is for all the repairs that need to be done. Toodaloo!
Deadpool runs through the invisible wall and into another battle.
*Pyro VS The Animatronics*
Deadpool: Oh shit it's fire everywhere.
Pinkie Pie comes out of no where and kicks him into the flames. Deadpool stands in the flames and just stares annoyed at Pinkie Pie.
Deadpool: You know, this feels like a hot tub. Why don't you come on in-
Pinkie's ears flop.
Pinkie Pie: My ears just flopped! You know what that means!
Pinkie Pie pulls a bath tub full of water out of no where and drags Deadpool and throws him into it. Deadpool tries to get out but Pinkie shoves his head underwater. Pinkie winces in pain.
Pinkie Pie: My shoulders are aching! There's an alligator in this tub!
Deadpool jumps out of the water with an alligator clamping down on his groin. Pinkie's tail then twitches and then several pieces of burning wood falls down from the ceiling and onto Deadpool.
Deadpool: That's it, NO MORE MR. NICE MERC!
Deadpool teleports and punches Pinkie Pie repeatedly and then sparta kicks her into another battle to where he speeds after her.
*Dr. Eggman VS Bowser*
Deadpool faces Pinkie Pie on the Egg Carrier as it slowly begins to fall out of the sky. He pulls a laser off of its deck and fires at Pinkie. But she dodges and begins to run, insanely fast and then tackles Deadpool, causing him to explode.
Deadpool: Ow my third lung!
Deadpool regenerates and then pulls out a pulse rifle and fires it at Pinkie Pie multiple times. Of course, it misses. She hits Deadpool, causing him to stumble back. When Deadpool isn't stunned, he sees a ton of Pinkie Pies swarming him. He takes out his mallets and begins to spin around, knocking Pinkie's off of the ship. Finally, the ship hits the ground and the explosion sends Deadpool and the real Pinkie Pie into another battle.
*Princess Peach VS Amy*
Deadpool unfortunately landed as Peach swung her golf club. Of course Amy got impaled but Deadpool gets sent into a question mark block. He hits it and becomes Fire Deadpool.
Deadpool: What the hell, writer? I thought it was supposed to be canon only!
Pinkie Pie hits a question mark block and gets an Ice Power-up.
Deadpool: Okay, NOW it's fair.
The two throw fire and ice balls at each other. A fire ball hits Pinkie Pie in the face and she keels back.
Pinkie Pie: That wasn't very NICE!
Pinkie Pie throws a giant ice ball at Deadpool and he gets frozen. She then tackles him and he flies into another battle. Pinkie Pie loses her power and chases after Deadpool.
*Wario VS Donkey Kong*
Deadpool: Now hold up a minute here, why are we going to the most controversial fight? You know what, screw that.
Deadpool wipes the screen and writes something.
*Death Battle Headquarters*
Boomstick: Wait, what-
Deadpool and Pinkie Pie fly through a computer screen while punching the other repeatedly. Wiz and Boomstick run out the door and scream "everybody run" as the two combatants bust through a wall. Deadpool takes out his mallets again and repeatedly hit Pinkie and then smacks her against a wall.
Pinkie Pie: Play nice!
Pinkie grabs Deadpool and uses her Joy Buzzer to electocute him until he explodes, spraying blood and guts everywhere. Luckily, he regenerated and then kicked Pinkie Pie in the throat and she was launched into another invisible wall.
Deadpool: What the hell? Again?
Deadpool leaps through the invisible barrier.
*The Justice League Base*
Deadpool: umm... writer, you might want to end this damn battle quick because it seems you're running out of ideas.
Deadpool then turns back around to face Pinkie Pie who is in Super Girl's outfit.
Deadpool: He, nice cosplay. I have some of my own.
Deadpool rips off his spandex to reveal himself in Superman's clothes. The two fly towards each other and punch the other, resulting in an explosion that sends Pinkie Pie back to Equestria and Deadpool into the sun. After a minute or two, Deadpool flies out at Pinkie Pie filled with power and punches her straight into the core of Equestria. The screen goes white and so does the entire universe. Everything is silent until...
Deadpool: Well that was climatic.
*Stark Towers*
Deadpool was back in Stark Towers. Iron Man had just turned off a transdimensional portal when he heard the voice and grunted in frustration.
Iron Man: Damnit Wade!
Pinkie Pie: Hi, Pool!
Deadpool: Oh come on!
Pinkie Pie was still alive somehow despite the universe exploding around her.
Deadpool: So you expected her to die and me to live, writer? Jeez.
MORE WILL BE ADDED SOON!
Deadpool: You lazy ass writer, just continue writing!
Ugh, fine. Pinkie Pie pulled out her cannon again and fired, sending Deadpool into the transdimensional portal. The resulting explosion destroyed Stark Towers and sent Iron Man, Deadpool, and Pinkie Pie out the window. Deadpool landed and splattered, Iron Man just flew away, and Pinkie Pie floated down gently somehow.
Deadpool: That blast would have destroyed the world dipshit!
Pinkie Pie: That's not nice to say to people!
Deadpool: Ugh, when I get back together why I outta-
That's when Deadpool rested his eyes on something absolutely beautiful. A chimichanga stand. He instantly grew back to his original state and ran to it, grabbed an arm full, turned around to face Pinkie Pie and then pointed at her.
Deadpool: Taste chimichanga, bitch!
Pinkie Pie began to dodge all of the beef and bean burritos that were flying at her at ninety miles per hour. All the while Deadpool is screaming "Hey chimichanga" with a maraca and sombrero. Pinkie Pie, getting tired, had finally though of an idea. She turned to the camera, grabbed it, and threw it at Deadpool, who skidded back a few feet and fell over. She quickly grabbed the camera and put it back in place and then turned to see Deadpool screaming Shoryuken in her face again. She flew into another invisible wall.
Deadpool: Jèsus, how long is this going to take?!
Deadpool followed quickly.
*Solomon Grundy VS The Thing*
Deadpool run through the wall and as soon as he does he is hit by a giant fist and sent flying away. Solomon Grundy looks confused as The Thing double-hand smashes Solomon on the head. Deadpool lands on a building top and sees Pinkie Pie staring at him.
Deadpool: What are YOU looking at!
Pinkie Pie: I'm hiding.
Deadpool: Why?
Pinkie Pie: My nose was itchy.
Deadpool: What does that have to do with anything-
Suddenly a swarm of bees attacks Deadpool and he runs around the building top screaming. Pinkie Pie laughs at this.
Pinkie Pie: Haha!
Deadpool: Oh yeah? My nose is itchy too!
Another swarm attacks Pinkie Pie and she begins to scream and run around. The two combatants run into each other at the ledge of the building and fall. Deadpool grabs Pinkie Pie by the neck and begins ot choke her.
Deadpool: Die!
The two crash on top of a police van. Three of the Fantastic Four members are there and so is Batman.
Human Torch: Wade?
Deadpool: Hi-
Solomon Grundy flew in from where the swamp was and crushed both Deadpool and Pinkie Pie. Solomon Grundy gets up and Deadpool is crushed into a smear of blood while Pinkie Pie appears next to the van. Deadpool regenerates, screams in rage, jumps at Pinkie Pie and wraps his hands around her throat, picks her up, and marches to another invisible wall with the pony in his hands.
Deadpool: just take me anywhere so I can kill this damn pony!
Pinkie Pie: I can still breathe!
*Wario VS Donkey Kong*
Deadpool: Damnit! you know what, fuck it.
The two had arrived in the volcano before Wario released his Wario Waft. Deadpool threw Pinkie Pie in the way in time and she was thrown into the lava. Donkey Kong was not hit at all, climbed up, glared at Wario, and beat the living shit out of him and killed him.
Deadpool: THAT'S how it should have gone!
ALTERNATE ENDING
Deadpool: WHAT?!
Deadpool was being carries by Pinkie Pie and he was thrown into the lava. He melts away while screaming gibberish and then silence.
*Back in Ponyville*
Deadpool was somehow still alive. Pinkie Pie was hopping along happily. He looked around to see he was back at the beginning of the fight as she was hopping to him as before. She stopped before him to say something but he quickly drew his katana and cut her head off. He smiled but then froze as he heard a voice.
Pinkie Pie: Hey, you killed my machine!
Deadpool ran up to her, threw you through an invisible wall and he ran after her. They had gone back to the Justice League Base and they both were in the Supergirl and Superman costume. They traded blows for a few seconds and then Deadpool punched her through all the planets in all the solar system. Then another invisible wall.
*Outside Stark Towers*
Pinkie was severely weakened and could barely stand up from the previous beating. Deadpool stood over her and brought down a sword on her med section, spilling her guts.
Deadpool: I heard you like cupcakes, so SMILE!
Pinkie began to glow and then explode. She was in her Smile HD form.
Deadpool: Oh fuck me-
Pinkie began to punch Deadpool repeatedly and then grabbed him ,swung him aorund, and threw him into the ground. Then she threw a Kamehameha at him and he exploded. She then grabbed his head and threw it into another invisible wall.
*Street Fighter Arena*
Deadpool had regenerated andturned to face Pinkie Pie. The two had a health bar and then Deadpool had an idea. He grabbed his health bar and began to use it as a sword, severely damaging Pinkie Pie and smacking her into a metal spike and impaling her. Deadpool jumped after and sliced her multiple times, leaving her a bloody mess. However, Pinkie Pie appeared behind Deadpool.
Pinkie Pie: Nope!
Deadpool: C'mon, writer! Just make me kill her!
Pinkie Pie was STILL in her Smile form and had flown up in the air and charged a planet burst ball.
Deadpool: Oh no! I'm sure there's nothing the write can do here!
Pinkie Pie was still charging it.
Deadpool: Writer!
She was about to throw it until.
Deadpool: You know what, fuck it!
Deadpool teleported up to Pinkie Pie and punched her into her own Spirit Bomb, incinerating her. He then teleported back to Stark Towers and just sat on Tony's couch.
KO!
Results
Boomstick: I agree with him.
Wiz: Deadpool trumped Pinkie Pie in everything except speed. While Pinkie Pie's cartoon abilities could help her last long, Deadpool would just finish her off.
Boomstick: Just one question though, how the hell did all that shit happen? How did they end up in out headquarters?
Wiz: Well they DO break the fourth wall so they could practically do ANYTHING they wanted to.
Boomstick: Well then I guess Pinkie will make others laugh in hell.
Wiz: The winner is Deadpool.
Deadpool: Yay me!
Pinkie Pie: I'm still here-
*strangling noises can be heard before the camera shuts off*