| Petey Piranha vs Mr. Patch | |
|---|---|
| |
| Season 5, Episode 3 | |
Vital statistics
| |
| Air date | May 12, 2016 |
| Written by | Maxevil |
| Directed by | Maxevil |
Episode guide
| |
| Previous | Next |
| Lorelei vs Malva | Krang vs Reagan |
Petey Piranha vs Mr. Patch is a What-If? Death Battle.
Description[]
Super Mario vs Banjo-Kazooie! Which of these two goofy and easy to beat bosses is at the very least competent?
Interlude[]
Wiz: The early bosses of Video Games are usually used as a warm-up to fight the harder bosses.
Boomstick: And these two goofy, cartoony bosses we are pitting tonight are the perfect examples.
Wiz: Petey Piranha, the mutated Piranha plant...
Boomstick: ...and Mr. Patch, the strange... Wobbly... Inflatable... Thingy; He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Petey Piranha[]
(Cue the Bianco Hills theme song)
Boomstick: Say, isn't that Audrey II on steroids and sporting undies?
Wiz: No, Boomstick, that is Petey Piranha, one of the Most recurring of the Mario Villains. Though you are right, he is a rather big version of his species, the Piranha Plants.
Boomstick: Wow, did this Piranha Plant take some mutagen from the TMNT universe and become what he is today?
Wiz: Wrong, how he came to be is a mystery, but he does possess Superhuman strength and the ability to fly compared to his brethren, but can still try to chomp them down.
Boomstick: He can also headbutt his opponents and spit out deadly-ass mud at foes that spawn mud making colorful cuddlefish, as well as he can chomp on foes like his brethren.
Wiz: He can also cause whirlwinds with his leaves and ground pound to make certain waves of damaging shocks.
Boomstick: Now those make him a total bad-ass, but would be more if it weren't for the fact that he is an idiot.
Wiz: Right, because he is so big the only thing that is small on him is his strategy skills, and when he drinks more liquids than necessary, his belly bulges and expandingly pops up his belly button waiting for a ground pound to happen.
Boomstick: But despite his deaths, he has always regrown like certain other plants to do other things.
Wiz: And that includes joining Mario and the gang in various sports and activities like Baseball, Soccer, Kart Racing, and many more. So like Bowser, Petey Pirahna can't always be the villain.
(Petey Piranha makes it to Home Base scoring a point for his team and growls happily about it.)
Mr. Patch[]
(Cue Witchyworld theme)
Boomstick: Hey look, it's an inflatable love child of Godzilla and Yoshi.
Wiz: Mr. Patch is one of the recurring bosses of the Banjo-Kazooie universe. First appearing in Banjo-Tooie, he appears in a big top section of Witchyworld, where he was first mistook for a lumpy seat, causing him to fight and lose to the duo.
Boomstick: And in my favorite way of how he died in Banjo-Tooie. (snickers) Anyway, then ol' Winkybunion ressurect him in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, but is then defeated by the bear and bird again.
Wiz: When he fights, he coughs out big explosive beach balls and can even summon what appears to be a molehill, but coming out of it is a spring with a boxing glove, patrolling the ground area.
Boomstick: And of course he has his metallic ego, Metal Mr. Patch.
Wiz: But despite that name, he is not really made of metal, he was given a metalic coating of spray paint to make him look like he is made of metal. His only well known weakness of all are his patches, a removal on one of these patches can make him lose certain air, making him smaller but faster.
Boomstick: And if we had more Banjo Games with Mr. Patch, we would cover more of his arsenal, but aside from that, he can be unpredictable at times.
(Mr. Patch inflates himself to make himself bigger until he is big enough to almost touch the rooftop of the tent)
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the Combatants are set, let's end the debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Fight[]
(Cue the theme of Delfino Plaza from “Super Mario Sunshine”)
In the clear blue skies, we see a monstrous flower with a mouth and sporting red undies with white polka dots on them that match his face flying by flapping his leaf-like wings as hard as possible, known as Petey Piranha. Just then, Petey spies something colorful on the ground, at first, Petey thought that the colorful green and yellow object with colorful sections in certain sections of it was like a new form of giant pancake. Smacking his lips in hunger, Petey decides to try and eat the object, until much to Petey’s surprise, the green object started moving.
(Cue the Boss Intro them from Banjo-Tooie)
By moving, that is meant it was first inflating itself, head first in which it resembles that of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and as it kept inflating itself, it got up to where it was a he, and is named Mr. Patch. Mr. Patch then spots the angry Petey Piranha who was furious about being fooled by Mr. Patch, despite the inflatable dinosaur himself never meaning to trick anyone at all, so the two monsters get to their fighting positions.
FIGHT!
(Cue Mr. Patch’s theme song from Banjo-Tooie)
Petey starts off with a head-butt, with enough force; it removed one of the patches from Mr. Patch’s body, referring the one by his right shoulder. So the strange wobbly inflatable thing decides to summon a molehill that is equipped with a punching bag on a spring to patrol the ground area. Thus, it causes Petey to take to the skies and spew a goopy projectile to summon Swoopin’ Stus by the dozen to keep an eye for the glove and put it out of commission. Meanwhile the two beasts themselves are colliding with every trick up their sleeves to harm each other. Mr. Patch coughing up explosive Beach Balls while Petey Piranha is coughing up goop balls to counter the beach balls with, making explosive bangs for each hit happening, all while the Swoopin Stus were trying to put out the glove in the molehill, with several Stus dying from being hit by the glove, while certain others were in sacrificial attack forms, but they are lucky to reproduce more Stus to come out and fight. Meanwhile, back to the big guys, Mr. Patch manages to hit Petey with a Beach Ball, causing him to fall and crash land, and when Petey picks himself back up, he slaps himself a couple of times in disappointment and resumes his fight against the inflatable dinosaur who was approaching closer to Petey, So the Piranha plant mutant then swirls his leaves around to create a twister to try and slow Mr. Patch some. After the twister hit the strange wobbly inflatable thing, he lost a couple more of his patches making him smaller, but it also made him quicker. However, after Mr. Patch chose to stay where he is and try to hit Petey Piranha again with his beach balls, but this time however, much to the surprise of the inflatable Dinosaur himself, the mutant plant himself inhaled the beach ball, and with force from his mouth, he coughs it straight back at Mr. Patch which sends him back pushing until Mr. Patch accidentally falls off a cliff that was behind him and on top of a paint spray factory causing it to be crushed and what appears to be sprayable silver paint to fly all over the destruction of what was once a spray paint factory. Petey Piranha followed his opponent to try and finish the job after he checks to see if he survived, as the paint fog disappears, it shows Mr. Patch in a silver coating and the sections where his patches were are painted all over as well, in other words, Mr. Patch is now Metal Mr. Patch in spite of not being made of real metal.
(Cue Boss Theme song from Super Mario Sunshine)
The two monsters then try to wrestle each other some a bit, until Mr. Patch was head-butted by Petey Piranha, causing to be pushed back some, and Petey tries to spew some goop at Mr. Patch, and it hit him yet the inflatable dinosaur was not fazed due to his metallic coating, in frustration Petey slaps himself and resumes his position; as for Mr. Patch, he coughs up another beach ball to fire at Petey, but the mutant Piranha plant gets one of his leave at the ready when the ball came and with a powerful hit, it launches back at Mr. Patch, stunning him some, with Petey following after the ball to head-butt Mr. Patch into the air, then the Plant monster flies up after him with his jaws at the ready and bites the inflatable dinosaur in its rubber groins, then Mr. Patch notices some air coming out from below him, then comes the famous “Banjo-Kazooie” speaking bubble that has Mr. Patch’s head on it with what he is about to say next.
Mr. Patch: Uh-oh! Looks like trouble…
Then the bubble leaves, as Mr. Patch himself starts to fly all around with a sound that sound like someone ate a bunch of baked beans, flying by over an ocean with a pair of pelicans on it, causing one of the pelicans to look at the other in awkward and disgust getting ready to fly away. And after Mr. Patch runs out of air from flying all over the planet, his deflated body lands back to where Petey is, but only for the mutant Piranha plant to grab the deflated body with his teeth, stuffs it in his mouth, chews it up and then spits out in hundreds of pieces of what was once the strange wobbly inflatable thing of an inflatable dinosaur, then with both its leaves, Petey slaps his leaves onto the top part of his stem as gives out a roar in victory, causing birds to flutter away in fear from the roar of the Piranha plant himself.
K.O.!
Results[]
(Cue the theme of DK's Jungle Parkway from Mario Kart 64)
Boomstick: Spray paint is a bad choice of weed killer.
Wiz: That was no where near a close match at first, that is until Mr. Patch managed to surpass Petey Piranha in the Defense category for most reasons.
Boomstick: It was not durable enough to with stand Petey's fangs.
Wiz: Right, as Petey Piranha's teeth are known to be the thorns in his mouth, and we all know that the Cactus of Strength, which is Metal Mr. Patch's weakness, has plenty of thorns, it is understandable why Petey's bit came in handy.
Boomstick: Mr. Patch just took his last breath of air.
Wiz: The Winner is Petey Piranha.
Trivia[]
- This is Maxevil's eighty third Death Battle.
- This is the third Death Battle to pit a Nintendo character and a Microsoft character, as well as a Mario character and a Banjo-Kazooie character, against each other; the first two of each are King K. Rool vs Gruntilda and Yoshi vs Kazooie.
- This is the fifteenth of Maxevil's Death Battles to have dialogue from other media added in, this time going to both combatants, Petey Piranha with his sounds from 'Super Mario Sunshine' to 'Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam', and Mr. Patch with his sounds from 'Banjo-Tooie'; the first fourteen are Pete vs Bowser, Pikachu vs Stitch, Scyther vs Espio the Chameleon (Scyther only), Raving Rabbid vs Despicable Minion, Captain Hook vs Captain Jack Sparrow (Sharky & Bones only), Superman vs Godzilla (Godzilla only), Winifred Sanderson vs Audrey II (songs only), Raphael vs Charizard (Charizard only), Dr. Eggman vs The Shredder (E-101: Beta, Scratch, Grounder, Rocksteady, Bebop, Krang, & Metal Sonic only), Blastoise vs. Katara (Blastoise only), Pinkie Pie vs Jigglypuff (Jigglypuff only), Riptor vs Dingodile (Killer Instinct announcer and Riptor only), Pac-Man vs Crash Bandicoot, and Big the Cat vs Patrick Star.