Death Battle Fanon Wiki
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Description[]

Animal Crossing vs The Legend of Zelda! These two Nintendo mailmen completely dedicated to their jobs enter the ring! Can the Running Man beat the carefree pelican?!

Interlude[]

Wiz: Mailmen. These people are workers you'd never think would be that important.

Boomstick: But these two Nintendo mailmen have been important throughout their series's!

Wiz: Pete, the mailman pelican.

Boomstick: And the Postman, the strange athletic mailman! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Pete[]

Wiz: Pete is the trusty mailman of Animal Crossing. While seemingly careless at first, that is definitely not that case.

Boomstick: Pete comes to deliver mail at 5:00AM, and is so dedicated, that he personally gives you letters from Nintendo, and tells you if your mailbox is full!

Wiz: Pete can fly, but doesn't too often. This is because back in an old Animal Crossing game, the Villager shot him out of the sky with a slingshot.

Boomstick: And he lugs around a heavy pouch all day that sometimes is filled with tools, furniture, and wallpaper, so his lifting strength is amazing!

Wiz: Rumor has it that Pete and Pelly like each other. However, that is not the case. Instead, Pete is smitten for Pelly's sister, Phyllis, who he claims is "more mature" and can "take care of herself."

Boomstick: This guy may look carefree, but he's really dedicated to his job, so don't mess with his work!

Postman[]

Wiz: The Postman. This mail deliverer is iconic to the Zelda series, being in almost every LoZ game.

Boomstick: This guy is super dedicated to his job! He will chase you down to give you a letter, and he sure is fast!

Wiz: That's right. The Postman is a real speedster. No joke, no matter how fast you are, he will be exactly one second faster. Which means... the Postman can literally be as fast as he wants to be.

Boomstick: He also has wings, letting him fly from place to place with ease! Man, this guy has a lot of stuff!

Wiz: And that's not it. The Postman even has teleportation, being able to get to places that he wouldn't be able to get to otherwise.

Boomstick: And this guy definitely is no coward! When the moon was falling, he stuck in town just so that he didn't mess up his mailing routine. He may be weird, but he sure is awesome!

Fight![]

It was a normal day for the Postman. He had delivered all the letters in Kakariko, Hyrule Castle, and Oradon. But he still needed to catch up to Link and deliver a special letter...

Postman ran through Hyrule Field, looking for Link. That's when finally, Link was spotted riding Epona. The Postman too out the letter from Nintendo to Link, and began running towards the hero when-

"You have a letter from Nintendo!" A certain Pelican named Pete said, flying next to Link and handing him a letter that looked just like the one Postman had. Link nodded, then rode away.

The Postman got mad. Pete had stolen the delivery from him... So the Postman dashed up to Pete and got in his fighting position. Pete did the same.


Fight!


In less then a second, Postman dashed at Pete. Pete had no time to react, and was punched hard. Pete shrugged off the damage, then began to fly in the air.

"For Pete's sake!" Pete grumbled, taking out a mailed present and dropping it on the Postman's head. The postman stumbled, and his vision got blurry. But when he regained focus, he saw Pete try to fly away.

The Postman couldn't let that happen.

The Running Man quickly put on a pair of wings, flying towards Pete with great speed. Pete noticed this, taking letters out of his bag, and throwing them like knives. This resulted in the Postman getting quite a few papercuts.

Pete kept throwing, but Postman had an idea. Pete threw one more letter, but just then, Postman disappeared! Suddenly, the Mailman appeared in front of Pete. When Pete looked back at him, Postman took out a letter, stabbing it right in between Pete's eyes.

But the letter wasn't enough to kill Pete at all, and so the pelican pulled out a sleek chair from his bag, and whacked the Postman right in the face with it. Postman stumbled, and so Pete took this as another chance to get away.

With his amazing strength, Pete whipped the bag a couple hundred feet forward, then now lighter, dashed towards the bag as fast as he could. Pete was trying to get away again.

Postman didn't want to let this happen, rushing past Pete and being one second faster then him. Postman reached the bag, ripped all the letters it contained, then tossed the bag back to Pete.

Pete was definitely mad now, pulling a shovel out of his bag and stabbed the Postman. The Postman felt the pain, but couldn't give up! Pete thrusted, but Postman was too quick, grabbing the shovel from the bird, abd hacking into Pete's head.


KO!


Postman flew back down to Earth, as Pete's body randomly fell down beside a surprised Pelly.

Conclusion[]

Wiz: That battle wasn't even close. Postman was legions above Pete in almost everything.

Boomstick: Pete had greater strength, being able to lift some really heavy things in his pouch, but that really didn't matter!

Wiz: Postman was extremely fast, being able to blitz Pete immensely. Postman is able to be always one step ahead of Link, and Link on his own can run faster then Pete can walk or fly.

Boomstick: Plus the Postman is able to teleport anywhere he wants to go, making sure Pete couldn't even touch him! And if Pete tried to fly away, that just wouldn't work! Not only is Pete now afraid of flying, but the Postman also has wings of his own! Looks like Pete was delivered his death!

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