Pearl vs Rattleballs[]
Two amazing swordsmen engage in a furious battle of blades!
Wiz: Swordsmanship. A form of elegance and grace.
Boomstick: And these guys are masters at it. Pearl, the swordsman of the Crystal gems.
Wiz: And Rattleballs, defender of the Candy Kingdom.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a death battle.
Pearl[]
Wiz: They are the Crystal gems, they'll always save the day. And if you think they can't they'll always find a way.
Boomstick: That's why the people of this world, believe in, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl and Steven!
Wiz: That is the point of the Crystal Gems, to protect humans from the forces of Homeworld. And none of them are as experienced as Pearl.
Boomstick: Pearl is extremely proficient with a sword, having centuries of experience with the weapon. Just like me with Bessie.
Wiz: Riiiight. Well she can take down Steven and Connie who can take down multiple Holo Pearls. She is also extremely proficient with her Gem weapon, a spear.
Boomstick: She can fire lasers from the point and can effortlessly cut through trees and other Gems.
Wiz: After the episode 'Bismuth' Pearl gained a trident head that she can attach to her spear, giving it three points.
Boomstick: Like Percy Jackson's dad!
Wiz: Of course, she has her fair share of weaknesses. She is a perfectionist, freaking out when something is out of order. She also has the weakest physical form out of all the Gems, including Steven.
Boomstick: She's still the toughest ballerina I've ever heard of.
Pearl: You're really going to tell the Diamonds that you allowed a band of traitorous rebels to infiltrate a highly secure facility, and escape from right under your careful watch? Doesn't seem like a wise thing to do, Holly-Blue. So do yourself a favour and keep your mouth shut. That will be all.
Rattleballs[]
Wiz: In the world of Adventure Time, there are many kingdoms, but none of them are as well known as the Candy Kingdom.
Boomstick: Take me there Wiz. TAKE. ME.
Wiz: Okay, well, the kingdom faces a new threat about every week. So, the ruler of the kingdom, Princess Bubblegum, had to create a police force to protect the kingdom. Those were the banana guards.
Banana Guards: We-ooh we-ooh we-ooh.
Boomstick: These guys are idiots.
Wiz: I know. And so did she. After the Guards failed, AGAIN, the princess created a new police force, the Rattleballs robots.
Boomstick: But sadly, the robots were to good. So the princess did what any sensible ruler would do. She SMASHED THEM!!
Wiz: However, one managed to survive through sheer force of will. This was Rattleballs.
Rattleballs: Rattlebaaaaaaals!!
Wiz: Rattleballs is an extremely good swordsman, it being one of his two main functions.
Boomstick: What's the other one?
Wiz: Unwavering loyalty to Princess Bubblegum, serving her completely, 100%.
Boomstick: Would have been cooler if it was being part beer dispenser.
Wiz: Anyway, Rattleballs is extremely fast, using his speed to his advantage in swordplay, creating his secret technique, the shadowless thrust.
Boomstick: Alright them, I'm off to watch what this doe-
watches Rattleballs use the shadowless thrust
Boomstick: HOLY SHIT!! How the fucking hell did he do that shit?!
Wiz: The shadowless thrust removes all wind resistance between Rattleballs's sword and his target. Of course he has his weaknesses, mainly being he's not to durable.
Boomstick: Yeah, like that time this bitch one-shot him.
Boomstick: Still, he's a fast gumball machine with a sword.
Rattleballs: When I was a young robot, I went horseback riding. no-one taught me how to post. The horse made a wicked huge jump and one of my gumballs got stuck up there. It's been lodged in a weird place ever since.
Pre-fight[]
Wiz: All right, the combatentents are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a death battlllle!!!
Pearl, Steven and Connie are at an arena in the middle of the Grass Lands. Steven sees a flyer stapled to a tree for a three person melee tournament and shows it to Pearl, saying that they should enter.
Steven; Come on Pearl!
Pearl: Well... okay. I guess we could do it to see how your knight training has improved.
Steven and Connie: Yeah!!
Five hours later...
Announcer: All riiiight, everybody! It's time for the finals!! In this corner, the newcomers, Steven, Connie annnd PEARRRRL!!!
The group step into the arena.
Announcer: Annnnnnd in this corner, the reigning champ and teammates, Rattleballs, Finn annnd Fern!!!
Pearl and Rattleballs notice their opponents seem like worthy adversaries and tell their friends to stay back and let them handle it.
Both warriors draw their weapons and take their fighting stances.
Fight![]
Pearl swings her blade at Rattleballs, who jumps and dodges the attack. The two knights clash for hours, stuck in a stalemate between each other, until Pearl summons her spear and knocks Rattleballs back.
Suddenly the two fighters jump to the air and clash their blades.
Finn: Wanna grab some popcorn and watch the fight?
Fern, Steven and Connie: Yeah, okay.
Pearl summons an army of Holo-Pearls to attack Rattleballs, who starts destroying them effortlessly.
Pearl picks up her sword, which she dropped after she summoned her spear. She holds her sword and spear tightly as Rattleballs charges towards her, holding his own sword and another one from a Holo-Pearl.
Both warriors charge at each other, weapons in hand.
Rattleballs swings his sword at Pearl, who parries at the last second. She then tries to stab Rattleballs with her spear but only cuts him at the side, leaving a scar.
Pearl then attaches her trident head to her spear and fires multiple blasts at Rattleballs, who barely dodges them. Suddenly he gets an idea and gets Pearl to keep firing at him.
Pearl is still firing at Rattleballs when his plan comes into effect as when Pearl kept firing at the gumball robot she hit the foundation of the arena. When it began to collapse Rattleballs made a dust tornado, kicking up even more dust than before.
Rattleballs: Rattlebaaaaaaaaaaals!!!
Rattleballs dived down at Pearl at full speed preparing the Shadowless Thrust while Pearl readied her trident for an attack.
Rattleballs pierces straight through Pearl's gem with the thrust just after Pearl stabs him in the gumballs.
Pearl fires just at the same time RB breaks her gem in half.
K.O!!![]
The Gems mourn the loss of Pearl while Princess Bubblegum fixes Rattleballs.
Results[]
Boomstick: Let's watch it again!
rewinds
Boomstick: Again!
rewinds
Boomstick: Again!!!
Wiz: Nope!
throws laptop out the window
Boomstick: Aww.
Wiz: ANYWAY, this fight was extremely close, with both characters being pretty evenly matched stat wise, with Rattleballs having the advantage in speed, agility and power, while Pearl has intelligence, experience and skill. But what really ends this debate is durability. Rattleballs is massively more durable than Pearl.
Boomstick: Yeah, plus the Shadowless Thrust gives him another edge her. I guess Pearl just couldn't cut it.
Wiz: The winner is Rattleballs.