Intro[]
Wiz: Physics, something most people hate. It's no fun following rules all the time.
Boomstick: But these two take their hatred for physics to a WHOLE nother' level. Peacock, the anti-skullgirl biochemical weapon,
Wiz: And Bill Cipher, the two-dimensional dream demon.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find iut who would win a Death Battle.
Peacock[]
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aVog5fddKr4
Boomstick: No one has a love for cartoons as much as Peacock, originally a girl by the name of Patricia Watson.
Wiz: She used to dress as a maid along with Marie in Rommelgrad (since the orphanage they lived in was originally a nobleman’s house, they had to make do with the clothes that were available), before they were captured by slave traders.
Boomstick: But Peacock was too defiant to be a slave, so she was mutilated as an example to the others.
Wiz: She was rescued by Dr. Avian’s Anti-Skullgirls Labs, and rebuilt with a reality-defying arsenal of biomechanical weaponry: the Argus System augmented her body, and the Avery Unit gave her access to unprecedented weaponry. She rapidly adapted to her new set of eyes and developed advanced special awareness. Normally she would not be put in the field so soon but her adeptness with the Avery Unit made her one of the best bets against the Skullgirl.
Boomstick: Nothing sates Peacock's boredom more than a good cartoon and laying waste to anyone or anything in her sight. She is easily the most outspoken and infamous member of the Anti-Skullgirl Labs, as well as the most prominent.
Wiz: Peacock is also, for the most part, optimistic and light-hearted, and considers imminent threats more of invitations to brawl. Her tendency toward violence is a reflection of both her tragic past and near-death experience as well as the cartoons she cherishes.
Boomstick: Her arsenal consists of her "gang", which includes the Avery Unit, Andy Anvil, Tommy Ten-Tons, George Bomb and Lonesome Lenny.
Peacock and her Imaginary gang.
Wiz: With Peacock's physics-bending arsenal, nothing is sacred. She is a kind of character that will exploit any opportunity to its maximum and get away with it. No enemies of hers last long against her sharp eyes and sharper gun...blades.
Boomstick: Her opponents last even shorter against her array of flower pots, baseballs, bowling balls, combustible toy cars, and countless other hazards that fill the air. Peacock never plays fairly, and isn't afraid to call in her goons to fight with her. In the rare occasions when Peacock can't topple her opponent, she can simply stall the battle until the timer runs out.
Wiz: The Avery Unit has the power to “distort” which is a side effect of Peacock’s insanity. She can’t create things out of thin air, but rather modify Lab 8’s range of specialised arsenal. There are certain limits and her summons are only temporary. Her power is still growing so she may be able to summon more things in the future.
Boomstick: Despite having a damaged psyche, Peacock does not attack people out of sheer randomness or without provocation. Although rude and impersonal to fellow ASG Lab 8 members (and most people in general) superficially, Peacock still very much considers them family, and will go to certain lengths to protect them from harm.
Wiz: Alas, they couldn’t do anything for her mind: Peacock’s damaged psyche and abiding love of cartoons shaped her new “toys” into a terrifying gang of cronies, whom she has no qualms using to paint the town red… with blood. As terrifying as she is, she may be the kingdom’s best bet against the Skullgirl.
Peacock: Ready, guys?! Time to paint the town red!
Andy: Psst, Avery? So did the boss take a bath or what? And what does she brush her teeth with anyway? Metal polish?
Avery:...I think a bath and her usual morning routine were implied. But they aren't something the audience needs to see.
Bill Cipher[]
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_tmdv6jBNho
Wiz: Trillions of years ago, A very dangerous being originated from the second dimension. Bill, however, despised living there, describing it as a dimension of "flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams." He "liberated" his dimension by completely plunging it into burning chaos, along with everyone he's ever known, including his own parents.
Boomstick: Holy crap!
Wiz: He eventually took over an intergalactic foam between dimensions: a lawless, crawlspace known as the Nightmare Realm. However, due to the Nightmare Realm's lawlessness and lack of any consistent physics or rules, it was fated to collapse into itself eventually.
Boomstick: After coming to learn of a prophecy that stated he would merge the Nightmare Realm with the third dimension, Bill manipulated countless humans over the years, determined to accomplish his task.
Wiz: However, Without his physical form, Bill could only access other beings' dreams. Despite this, Bill would stop at nothing to succeed. He asked a shaman named Modoc to build an interdimensional gateway to the Nightmare Realm, but the result was... made out of twigs. After Modoc learned of the prophecy that foretold of an apocalyptic event from his interactions with Bill, he literally lit himself on fire in an effort to stop Bill's reign.
Boomstick: Buuuut eventually, the natives discovered a way to defeat Bill by using a zodiac with ten symbols, and left behind a painting in a cave of their encounter with the demon, including how to summon him, and more importantly, a warning never to read it.
Wiz: In the late twentieth century, a young man named Stanford Pines, who had spent the past six years investigating the town's unnaturallity and weirdness, hit a roadblock in his discoveries and was left without answers. However, uncovering of a cave filled with cryptic hieroglyphics gave him hope of getting answers, as the message foretold of an entity containing unending knowledge: despite the warnings against it, Ford repeated the incantation aloud, summoning Bill into the his mindscape.
Boomstick: Bill was fond and quite impressed of Stanford's work and they quickly became friends, helping with each other's research. But then Bill betrayed him, the portal they were making was actually a way to the nightmare realm, and Stan shut down the machine and got trapped in it, leaving Bill in defeat again.
Wiz: Years later, Bill managed to shatter the rift, thanks to Mabel, and at last, gained a physical form. After smashing the interdimensional rift and creating a gateway from the Nightmare Realm, Bill became incarnate, which allowed him to both exist and affect the real world.
Boomstick: Bill is nigh omnipotent, bringing inanimate objects to life and turning people into statues of the material of his choice. He can regenerate every aspect of himself, create everything from objects to break shields and fire laaaaaazers!
Wiz: His abilities include Apportation, Matter Manipulation, Mind Control, Reality Warping, Inter-universal travel, Time Manipulation, Dream Manipulation, Clairvoyance, Illusion Manipulation, Intangibility, Levitation, Molecular Manipulation, Nightmare Inducement, Possession, Precognition, Pyrokinesis, Size shifting, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Madness Inducement, Regeneration, Fourth Wall Awareness, and Resistance to reality warping and space-time manipulation.
Bill gains his physical form.
Boomstick: Is there ANYTHING this guy CAN'T do!?
Wiz: Yes, actually, Bill discovered limitations in his power. Bill's physical eye proved particularly sensitive and took more time than the rest of him to regrow. Even while capable of vastly affecting the physical world, he still could not enter bodies or conscious minds without the contract-and-handshake process. Gravity Fall's bubble of weirdness also thwarted Bill's powers, as no amount of hitting or shooting at it dissolved the barrier, which stopped Weirdmageddon, his apocalypse of oddness from advancing into the rest of the world.
Boomstick: Despite this, Bill's own ego proved to be his most fatal flaw, as it led him to underestimate the "mortals": he failed to recognize Stan's trick, driven by the possibility of learning how to bypass the bubble over Gravity Falls, and did not realize he was at his most fragile while in the mindscape. His elimination also revealed that, while in the mindscape, he was as vulnerable to erasure via the memory gun as all other thoughts.
Wiz: Bill is a cunning, eccentric, insane, psychopathic, and physically irreverent demon who finds most things amusing. He's outrageous and outlandish, as well as a quick talker and thinker. Though he may come across as simply annoying, he shouldn't be underestimated; for when he is angered, he's a force to be reckoned with as he will unleash his near-omnipotent powers on those unfortunate enough to make him angry.
Bill: Remember! Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, BYE!
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
DeathBattle[]
Peacock and her gang were watching their favorite show, Annie: Girl of the Stars. Peacock was about to reach down for another popcorn kernel when the show was interrupted by breaking news.
"GODDAMMIT! AGAIN!?" Peacock threw her popcorn at the television, but paid attention to the news anyways.
"A T-TERRIBLE TRIANGULAR MONSTER HAS BROUGHT THE END OF THIS TOWN." The news reported yelled as he was interrupted by a huge blast of fire, the tv screen went static. Still cross, Peacock stood up and headed outside.
She stopped dead at her tracks when she gazed at the town; it was almost completely destroyed and chaotic. Her vision shifted to the only moving thing in sight- A very formally dressed yellow triangle with one eye. He was seeming to enjoy the town's major change, laughing gleefully.
"HEY!" Peacock stepped up. Bill stopped laughing, and his eye moved from one side to another, revealing Peacock. "There's only one person who can do this to this town, and that's ME!" Bill floated down.
"Woah! I don't even need to change you, you're already messed up! Look at those arms! Haha!" Peacock was about to burst with anger when Bill continued, "Look, shorty, it's best not to get involved. The world ain't gonna take over itself, y'know!" Bill took another sip from his eye juice cocktail.
"Listen, Illuminati, pissing me off is the LAST mistake you'll EVER make!" Bill nearly choked on his cocktail with laughter.
"Someone's gettin' stingy now, aren't they? Why don't we settle this already? I'm getting sick of your blabbering." Bill said as his gang rose from the debris. The teams all glanced at each other.
"I always thought the town would look good if it were YELLOW!" Peacock slowly approached.
FIGHT! https://youtu.be/jkINJHoJIH8
Bill launched several fireballs at Peacock's feet, resulting in a loud BOOM! Only to find that when the smoke had cleared away, Peacock was gone. Bill then felt a sharp force hit him from behind, knocking him into an already crumbled down building. Peacock had emerged from a random hole behind Bill, hitting him with her spiked bat with full force. Bill got up and thought twice about going easy on her. He fired a laser from his eye, a metal peacock head emerged from Peacock's hat, and fired a laser of her own. Both red beams collided, Bill's being significantly stronger. It pierced through her beam, and hit peacock straight in the eye.
Peacock took out George Bomb and chucked him at Bill, distracting him. He fired yet another laser at George, causing him to explode. A fraction of a second later, Bill's eye was critically hit by three baseballs shot from Peacock. Bill rubbed his eye, then Peacock attempted slashing her chainsaw at him, resulting in Bill blocking it. Bill then multiplied, more and more, until there were several Bills surrounding Peacock. They all charged at her, covered in blue flames, Peacock acted quickly and swinged her hammer around, hitting them all. The Bill's disappeared, and Peacock searched around for the real one. Bill emerged behind her, and just in time, got SPLAT by a Coconut whipped-cream pie. Peacock couldn't help but laugh at him.
Bill wiped the pie off him and turned red with anger. He summoned two swords and slashed them at the same time at Peacock. Peacock managed to block one with her stop sign, but got hit from behind with the other. That made her lose her balance, and she got slashed several times before getting thrown down by Bill's huge fist. Suddenly, a spring shaped as a target sprung up from under Peacock, launching her at Bill, and got a chance to trap him inside a bag, throw him to the ground, and began pummeling him with several stomps of her foot. Bill finally broke out of the bag and with his telepathic powers, flung a few cars at Peacock. She raised her arms high, holding flags, and a fury of Georges on airplanes flew down, and collided with the cars, incinerating them each, one by one.
She then ran up to Bill, cartoon style, and smokes right in his face. Bill turned into a shadow, making everything visible again, then came under Peacock and punched her from underneath with his giant fists. Peacock, in midair, blew a whistle, and Lonesome Lenny came CRASHing down on top of Bill, He then exploded, leaving Bill damaged- but nowhere near defeat. Portals opened up next to Bill, one unleashing a shadowy vine that shot straight at Peacock, the other firing a blaze of fire at her. Peacock was grabbed by the vine, but almost immediately, her eyes of argus on her arms poked out like daggers, and cut right through the shadow vine, dropping Peacock, also resulting in dodging the flames. Still in midair, Peacock pulled out her shotgun and fired at Bill. Bill, however, teleported out of the way with ease.
Bill knew this fight was taking forever. A GIANT ball of energy appeared right above him, it kept getting bigger and bigger. Peacock was stunned, but waited. She had other plans on her mind. Bill finally launched the streak of energy straight at Peacock, this is when rules were going to break. Peacock charged up Argus Agony and released at Bill, hoping to counter the energy ball.
BOOM!!!
A giant explosion formed, leaving Peacock in the dust, nearly every artificial part of her body torn to pieces.
K.O!
Peacock and Bill's gang both stopped fighting when they saw their Peacock's corpse.
Result[]
Boomstick: Talk about cartoon violence!
Wiz: Peacock's unpredictable arsenal was pretty effective to start out the fight but in the end, nothing of hers was a match against the god of chaos.
Boomstick: No kidding.
Wiz: Bill can only be defeated with a memory gun, the Zodiac, the Quantum Destabilizer, or a reality warper with equal or greater power, Peacock lacked these skills, and ended up like the rest of the world.
Boomstick: This battle was rated V for Violent victory.
Wiz: The winner is Bill Cipher.
Next Time[]
Hee Hee Hee! The bigger the explosion, the greater the alchemist!