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Paper Mario vs. Mr. Game & Watch
Paper Mario Game & Watch Fake Thumbnail
Season 1, Episode 4
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Air date December 9th, 2014
Written by ParaGoomba348
Directed by Anonymous
Episode guide
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Paper Mario vs. Mr. Game & Watch is a What-If? episode of Death Battle, pitting Paper Mario from the Paper Mario series against Mr. Game & Watch from the Game & Watch series.

Description[]

It's the battle in the second dimension! Will the winner be the colorful, or the monochrome?

Interlude[]

Wiz: Oh, video games. Where would we be without them? And where would video games be without two-dimensional characters we've come to know and love? Now that characters can be three-dimensional, there's little place for two-dimensional characters.

Boomstick: But what about three-dimensional characters drawn in two-dimensional style? Like Paper Mario, who is basically just Mario as a paper craft-

Wiz: And Mr. Game & Watch, one of the very first video game heroes of all time.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: It is our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would in a Death Battle.

Paper Mario[]

Wiz: We all know Mario, the undisputed hero of video games.

Boomstick: But what about Mario as a papercraft? Seriously, who thought that was a good idea?!

Wiz: Nintendo, apparently. Anyway, Paper Mario is basically just an alternate-universe version of Mario, complete with different powers, different adventures, and exactly the same amount of spoken lines in a video game.

Boomstick: Man, would it kill Mario to say something every once in a while?!

Wiz: Who knows, probably. While the name may say otherwise, Paper Mario and Mario have completely different abilities. Paper Mario's powers are some of the strangest and wackiest in existence, being able to fold his body into different shapes, pull objects out of nowhere, and even break the fourth wall.

Boomstick: Wait a minute. Alternate version of pre-existing character? Ability to pull objects out of nowhere? Breaking the fourth wall?! Paper Mario, more like Paper Deadpool!

Wiz: Uh, not really. Anyway, Paper Mario's first-and-foremost line of defense is his signature jump. While it's mostly just used to stomp out Goombas as a regular guy, in Paper form there are many, many ways of bumping up this ability from "annoying stallbreaker" to outright deadly. The ground-pound allows Mario to crash right through the ground, the spring-jump launches Mario several feet into the air and is powerful enough to knock giant treasure chests off of platforms. Mario can also equip different badges that let him execute different techniques with his jumps. How a badge lets Mario do something he couldn't without the badge, that is beyond me.

Boomstick: Maybe the badges are magical and turn Mario into Superman or whatever?

Wiz: ...Or maybe it's a game mechanic that prevents people from using every single technique without having any sort of limitations. Mario's badge-powered jump abilities include Multibounce, which allows him to jump on every opponent for damage, Power Bounce, which basically a near-endless flurry of jumps until Mario screws up or is interrupted, Power Jump, which is pretty much a really powerful jump, and then there's Ice Power and Spiky Shield, which allow him to jump on fire and spikes, respectively, without getting hurt.

Boomstick: Man, this guy's prepared for everything! Hey, doesn't he also have badges that shrink his enemies and put 'em to sleep and stuff?

Wiz: Yes he does, but those only work on regular enemies and not on bosses, so we will just ignore those. If an opponent's defense is too much for a jump to handle, Mario can always resort to his second line of defense, his hammer. Just like his jump ability, Mario's hammer can just be swung like a normal giant hammer, or it can have many other different effects. Super Hammer and Ultra Hammer are variations where Mario swings the hammer horizontally, sending foes flying. And that's not even mentioning the sheer amount of badges Mario can use in tandem with it.

Boomstick: Does this guy put badges on his hammer or somethin'? 'Cause that's what I'm getting from this! Hey Wiz, do you think that if I put badges on my hammer I'll be able to do cool stuff with it?

Wiz: I highly doubt it, Boomstick. Anyway, Mario's other hammer abilities include the Power Smash, a hammer variation of Power Jump, Quake Hammer, which makes a big earthquake and hits all ceiling and ground enemies, Fire Drive and Ice Smash, which coat his hammer in fire and ice respectively, Piercing Blow, which negates all defense modifiers, and... Hammer Throw, which is exactly what it sounds like.

Boomstick: What?! Mario needs a badge to throw a hammer?! I can throw a hammer right here, right now with no badges whatsoever! Is it just me, or did Nintendo just not think this one through?

Wiz: Most likely. And in case that wasn't enough, Mario has other badges that give him even wackier capabilities. All Or Nothing makes his attacks hit overall harder if he times them just right but do nothing if he doesn't, Charge allows him to charge up his energy and release ultra-powerful attacks, Damage Dodge raises his overall defense, HP Drain lowers his overall attacking power but drains his opponents' energy, Power Rush gives him extra strength when he's in danger, and Close Call gives him extra speed when his health is low.

Boomstick: And then look at the other badges this guy gets! There's badges that change his clothes and give his hammer funny sounds!

Wiz: You're very right, Mario does have a lot of seemingly-useless badges. However, one of his Sound FX badges allowed him to defeat Hooktail the Dragon. And then there are his "fourth-wall" powers, where he uses himself as a weapon or tool. Mario can fold his body to take the forms of airplanes and boats to glide and cross water, respectively, and he can flatten himself completely and roll up into a tube to be more evasive. Possibly his outright strangest ability is to switch between the second and third dimension at will - this allows him to see things he wouldn't normally see in 2D as well as evade certain foes. Unfortunately, this ability requires a lot of his energy and will hurt him if he uses it too long.

Boomstick: Also, Paper Mario's got a ton of items under his belt too! He's got regular mushrooms that refill his health, honeys and jellies that refill Flower Points that allow him to use his wackiest abilities, mushrooms that make him conduct electricity, Fire Flowers, lightning bolts, and shooting stars. Man, this guy's got everything! And just in case you thought he couldn't get even more OP, he can block attacks like nobody's business! He can either crouch to reduce damage, or counterattack to negate all damage and actually do some damage to his opponent instead! Although that second one's a bit harder to pull off.

Wiz: And if you're still not convinced that Paper Mario is no pushover, he has a huge selection of powers to choose from that can be outright brutal, known as Star Powers. Here, Mario uses power drawn from the Crystal Stars. There's Sweet Treat to lightly restore his health, Earth Tremor to cause earthquakes, Clock Out to stop time, Power Lift to raise his power and defense, Art Attack to trap enemies and damage them, Sweet Feast to greatly restore his health, Showstopper to occasionally kill his foes completely, and the mother of them all - Supernova to deal massive damage to everyone, excluding himself.

Boomstick: Holy shit! Is there ANY end to this guy's reign of terror?! Y'know, besides fire and water and scissors and stuff-

Wiz: Boomstick, hate to break this too you, but Paper Mario can survive against those too. Mario often takes fire-based attacks and survives, and falls into the water unharmed, and I'm not sure about the scissors but he can take hits from sharp things and not be cut, so I think it's safe to say that Paper Mario isn't your average papercraft. He's also scaled giant mountains, solved ancient puzzles, defeated near-immortal deities, fallen from great heights, and he's even survived a near-apocalypse. Truly, Paper Mario is amazing.

Boomstick: Okay, now I'm really wondering how to beat this guy.

Wiz: Unfortunately for Paper Mario, he's still mostly Mario. Besides his amazing tricks up his sleeve, nothing about him really stands out besides his superhuman durability. He's also not necessarily the smartest person in existence, often relying on his partners to figure out answers to puzzles he can't figure out on his own. Also, his powers involving badges use up Flower Points, or FP for short. If he runs out of those, he'll have to use items. If he runs out of those, it's gone forever. Finally, his Star Powers, while immensely powerful, require a ridiculous amount of concentration and require Star Points, which he can only get through a live audience. Still, Paper Mario has won more than his fair share of battles and may have enough to win this one.

Paper Mario gives a thumbs-up and takes off his hat.

Mr. Game & Watch[]

Wiz: Ah, the glory days of video games. The age of Pong, arcades, controllers without pause buttons, and a little handheld video game device called the Game & Watch. Unbeknownst to Nintendo, these games would spawn a hero - and a Super Smash Bros. fighter - named Mr. Game & Watch.

Boomstick: Whose last name is 'Game & Watch'? Seriously, worst last name ever!

Wiz: Maybe that's his title and not his real name? Whatever, Mr. Game & Watch became known as a jack-of-all-trades who could handle any sort of job. Whether it was flipping sausages, catching falling objects, taming lions, juggling, or even fighting killer octopuses.

Boomstick: This guy should have a personal ad! "Hungry? Call Mr. Game & Watch! Lion on the loose? Call Mr. Game & Watch! Need someone to catch shit randomly falling everywhere? Call Mr. Game & Watch!

Wiz: Considering how good he is at these things, he probably does. And he does not let these skills go to waste, either. When he shows up on the battlefield, he brings his entire arsenal with him, just in case.

Boomstick: Using a key and a flag as lethal weapons has never looked so fun.

Wiz: And no one uses them better than Game & Watch himself. In addition to his wacky arsenal, there are cement blocks, turtles, chairs, goldfish bowls, parachutes, football helmets, SCUBA gear, bouncy balls, torches, frying pans with burning sausages, pesticide pumps, manhole lids, hammers, and bells.

Boomstick: Man, Flat Zone has to be a really fucked-up place if he has to use all those on a daily basis. But seriously, would it kill this guy to bring a knife or a gun along?

Wiz: Maybe so. But that's not all. Mr. Game & Watch also has some even quirkier weapons with him. One such weapon is the trampoline, which can be pulled anywhere, at any time. It also always spawns from under him, and launches him straight upward. This allows Mr. Game & Watch to reach extreme heights and dodge many attacks. There's also the bucket, which can absorb any energy-based projectile without fail. If he absorbs three such projectiles, the projectiles turn into oil and he can dump the oil on his opponent. Depending on the energy absorbed, the oil can either be obscenely powerful, or pathetically weak.

Boomstick: He can turn fire and lightning into OIL?! What kind of sorcery is this?!

Wiz: Who knows? Last but certainly not least is the Judgment Hammer, which has rather variable effects but can be deadly given the right circumstances. When he swings the hammer, Mr. Game & Watch holds up a sign with a random number from one to nine. If it's a one, its effects are negligible and hardly hurt his opponents whatsoever. If it's a nine, the hammer will be outright deadly and if it doesn't kill right off the bat, it will definitely leave his opponents in massive pain.

Boomstick: ...Wow. What kind of person would bring such a risky weapon into battle? I'd just always hold up a nine!

Wiz: Speaking of that, this hammer's number is completely random and can not be determined or predicted by conventional means. All numbers have the same chance of being pulled as the others, meaning that given enough time, Mr. Game & Watch will eventually pull a nine.

Boomstick: Man, can you imagine Mr. Game & Watch swinging at his opponent again and again and not ever getting a nine and then swinging and missing, but getting a nine? Sounds hilariously ironic and likely to happen!

Wiz: As a matter of fact, due to the random nature of the hammer, that happening is not an impossibility. But as far as impossibilities go, Mr. Game & Watch has that to spare. From carrying around all these unorthodox weapons in a seemingly infinite void to being two-dimensional even in three-dimensional universes, Mr. Game & Watch has also been shown in Super Smash Bros. Melee's All-Star Mode and Brawl's Subspace Emissary to be able to replicate himself in battle.

Boomstick: So that when he feels like he's losing a battle, he can just split up and beat you up gang-style!

Wiz: While this sounds like an incredible ability, it's actually a lot less usable in practice than in theory. Mr. Game & Watch's power is actually split between his separate forms this way, and as such all these replicas of Mr. Game & Watch are far weaker and less durable. However, if all of these replicas but one are destroyed, all of Mr. Game & Watch's power is restored back to him, so while it's not the most useful of abilities, there's almost no risk to using it.

Boomstick: I would just use that power all day! I could make one of me go to work while I sit here and play video games!

Wiz: Boomstick, your job IS playing video games.

Boomstick: Oh, right! Wait, why doesn't Mr. Game & Watch do that?! He works like eighteen jobs at once!

Wiz: *sigh* Anyway, when Mr. Game & Watch REALLY wants to bring the pain, he transforms into a giant octopus. This octopus form is extremely powerful, being able to hit very powerful fighters for immense amounts of damage, and being so durable that he feels almost no pain and doesn't flinch from attacks. Unfortunately, this ability also uses up a lot of Mr. Game & Watch's power, and won't last long if he doesn't beat his opponent quickly enough. Fortunately, once it's over Mr. Game & Watch goes back to his normal self, so again there's hardly any risk in using it.

Boomstick: Again! Mr. Game & Watch could've also used this while he was working those jobs! Eight arms are much better than two!

Wiz: Enough with Mr. Game & Watch's jobs! Now, while it may seem like Mr. Game & Watch has everything covered, from having nearly-unlimited experience with just about everything combined with wacky powers, in reality Mr. Game & Watch is far from perfect. His weapons are impractical at best; outright useless at worst. He also lacks a lot of durability, and his best abilities take up a lot of his power. Fortunately, all that work he's done has made him a quick runner, so there's that at least. Still, Mr. Game & Watch is known for being one of the very first video game heroes of all time, and could possibly use that title to his advantage to win this one.

Mr. Game & Watch beeps and plays a bell.

Fight[]

ParaGoomba348[]

Paper Mario is casually walking around Rogueport, when Mr. Game & Watch randomly crashes into him from out of nowhere. A red speech bubble with the words "Your foe struck first!" appears right by Mario.

Suddenly, a curtain randomly appears and opens, and Mario and Mr. Game & Watch are standing on a show stage in front of a live audience of Toads, X-Nauts, Shy Guys, Crayzee Daizees, Bob-Ombs, and even Luigi.

FIGHT!

Paper Mario opens up with a jump, aiming for Mr. Game & Watch's head. Mr. Game & Watch steps to the side to avoid it and retaliates by equipping the football helmet and ramming into Mario. Mario blocks the attack by crouching, and a "1" in a comic-book-like sun-shaped bubble appears over Mario's head. Mario equips the Power Bounce badge and continually jumps on Mr. Game & Watch's head, but after a few jumps Mr. Game & Watch pulls out his flag and hits Mario with it, knocking him to the ground.

Paper Mario equips the Power Jump badge and jumps on Mr. Game & Watch's head again, causing a loud beeping sound from Mr. Game & Watch to be heard. Mr. Game & Watch grabs Mario and juggles him in the air with a few black bouncy balls. Mid-air, Mario ground-pounds onto Mr. Game & Watch's head and jumps back onto the ground. Paper Mario pulls out his Ultra Hammer and swings at Mr. Game & Watch, but he nimbly dodges the strike and hits Mario with the Judgment Hammer, scoring a "5". A "5" appears over Mario's head as he is knocked back. Several X-Nauts in the audience throw rocks at Mr. Game & Watch, allowing Mario to get back up.

Mr. Game & Watch notices Mario running at him and pulls out the chair, but Mario catches it with his hands and equips the Fire Drive badge. He hits Mr. Game & Watch with his now Fire-infused hammer, and a small flame appears on Mr. Game & Watch, indicating the "burn" condition. Mr. Game & Watch takes out his fishbowl then dumps it on himself, extinguishing the flame. Mario then is seen with a "!" over his head, then he pulls out a Fire Flower. The Flower spits out a bunch of small fireballs at Mr. Game & Watch, then he pulls out the bucket to catch the fire. Paper Mario pulls out the Diamond Star, then he jumps on top of it as it grows tremendously. The star jumps a few times on the ground, creating huge shockwaves that create large hills on the ground. Mr. Game & Watch jumps over each hill, with each one getting progressively larger. The biggest one moves towards Mr. Game & Watch and he dodges it with the trampoline jump.

Mr. Game & Watch, still in the air, pulls out the key, and hits Mario on the head with it. A "2" appears over Mario's head as he takes damage. Mr. Game & Watch pulls out a can of insecticide and sprays Mario with it mercilessly, creating a black haze around him. Unbeknownst to Game & Watch, Mario goes into his tube form and rolls under the black cloud. Mario then goes into 3-D mode, but cannot see Mr. Game & Watch due to him being 2-D. Then Mario gets an idea. He runs behind where he remembers Mr. Game & Watch being.

Meanwhile, Mr. Game & Watch seems to think Mario has completely disappeared. He looks around for him, clearly confused. Mario reappears behind Mr. Game & Watch and hits him with the hammer, catching Mr. Game & Watch off-guard. Mario then pulls out a Shooting Star item and a bunch of shooting stars rain down from the sky. Mr. Game & Watch gets hit by a few stars before pulling out the bucket to absorb a star. Mario then pulls out the Ruby Star and throws a star at Mr. Game & Watch. Mr. Game & Watch pulls out the bucket to attempt to catch it, but the star instead circles around him. The star circles around him several times, each time clearly doing damage. After a few seconds, the star disappears and Mr. Game & Watch is free. Mr. Game & Watch, clearly angry, runs towards Mario and hits him with a torch. This time, a flame appears on Mario, indicating that he is now burned. Mario is also clearly angry and pulls out the Sapphire Star, then he hits a few icons with his face on them. This heals him up a bit. Mario then twists his body and swings Mr. Game & Watch with the Ultra Hammer, knocking him back towards the wall and all around the arena. The audience goes crazy and sends Mario their star points.

Mr. Game & Watch runs at Mario with the Judgment Hammer again, this time scoring a "3". A "3" appears over Mario's head, but again nothing much happens. Mario responds by winding himself up like an accordion then jumps up in the air. Mr. Game & Watch puts on the SCUBA helmet to block the attack, but Mario stomps on Mr. Game & Watch ignoring the helmet, courtesy of Piercing Blow. Mario pulls out his Hammer again while equipping Power Smash, hitting Mr. Game & Watch hard.

Mario then spring-jumps into the air again, but Mr. Game & Watch decides not to fall for it again. Mr. Game & Watch pulls a manhole lid out of nowhere, then when Mario lands Mr. Game & Watch pulls the manhole lid off of the ground, and Mario falls through a hole. Mr. Game & Watch jumps in too.

Suddenly, Mario and Mr. Game & Watch find themselves in Flat Zone. Mario looks around, clearly confused and with a "?" over his head. He turns to see Mr. Game & Watch and it turns into a "!". Mr. Game & Watch pulls out a cement block and smashes it over Paper Mario's head, scoring a "6" on him. Paper Mario retaliates with an Ice Smash, freezing Mr. Game & Watch. Mr. Game & Watch's torch frees him from the freeze and he swings at Mario. Mario equips the Ice Power badge and jumps on Mr. Game & Watch's torch and extinguishes the flame. Mr. Game & Watch pulls out the turtle and hits Mario with it about six times, each time scoring a "1". Mario decides he's had enough and spring-jumps to try to hit Mr. Game & Watch, but he uses the trampoline to keep up with Mario. Paper Mario starts to land quickly, but Mr. Game & Watch slows down his descent using the parachute. Mario, back on the ground, pulls out the Emerald Star and stops time completely.

Mario then pulls out the Lightning Bolt item, and lightning strikes Mr. Game & Watch a few times. Mr. Game & Watch is freed from the time stop and catches the lightning with the bucket, then spills the oil all over Mario. A "12" appears over Mario's head and he is covered in black oil. Mario falls to the ground, clearly unconscious. Mr. Game & Watch pulls out the Judgment Hammer again and swings at Mario... and scores a "9". A "9" appears over Mario.

Then, before anything bad can happen, a Life Shroom appears over Mario and restores 10 HP. Mario gets back up and pulls out the Gold Star. A Red Arrow with a "6" and a Blue Arrow with a "6" appear right by Mario. Mr. Game & Watch runs at Mario and hits him several times with many different weapons, including the bell, the key, the frying pan, and the two hammers. Mario is clearly unfazed because instead of numbers, stars appear on Mario's head. Mario pulls out the Ultra Hammer and swings once more, and sends Mr. Game & Watch flying towards the walls of Flat Zone. Mr. Game & Watch, deciding he's had enough, replicates himself and sends all his clones after Mario. They are unable to do any sort of damage to him as Mario pulls out the Garnet Star and begins the Showstopper technique. Many Garnet Stars fly through the Flat Zone, and all of the G&W clones explode except for the original one. Mr. Game & Watch angrily turns into the Octopus.

Another "!" appears over Mario's head as he hits the Octopus with the hammer many times and jumps too, but can't do any sort of damage. Paper Mario equips the Hammer Throw, but it fails to do anything. Mr. Game & Watch as the Octopus hits Paper Mario with his tentacles a few times, but Paper Mario dodges them all. Paper Mario then pulls out the Crystal Star and uses the Supernova technique, outright breaking the octopus form and reverting Mr. Game & Watch to his original form. Paper Mario equips the Quake Hammer and smashes the ground, creating a crack in the very screen you see right now. This visibly shocks Mr. Game & Watch. Paper Mario jumps through that crack by going flat, then appears on the show stage again, with the Flat Zone being shown as a Game & Watch device. Paper Mario pulls out the Ultra Hammer once more and smashes it, breaking the Game & Watch... and Mr. Game & Watch inside of it.

Paper Mario takes off his hat then gives a thumbs-up. He walks off the stage.

K.O.!

Results[]

Boomstick: I knew it! Paper Mario's too powerful!

Wiz: Mr. Game & Watch might have the advantage of sheer versatility as well as the speed and unpredictability advantages, but none of those mattered because of Paper Mario's extreme durability. While Mr. Game & Watch might've been too tricky to be killed easily, remember that Paper Mario has overcome extremely difficult opponents before.

Boomstick: Really, there was nothing Mr. Game & Watch had that really overwhelmed Mario. Mario's fought guys who cheated, guys who could transform, and even fourth-wall breakers! There was almost no way for Mr. Game & Watch to win!

Wiz: The final nail in the papercraft coffin was Paper Mario's outright impossible abilities, as opposed to Mr. Game & Watch's everyday arsenal.

Boomstick: This battle was quite smashing.

Wiz: The winner is Paper Mario.

Advantages and Disadvantages[]

Paper Mario[]

  • +Stronger
  • +More durable
  • +More battle experience
  • +Better arsenal
  • +A whole myriad of possible finishing moves
  • -Slower
  • -Limited MP and items

Mr. Game & Watch[]

  • +Faster
  • +Less predictable
  • +Has a few abilities to catch Mario off-guard
  • -Less durable
  • -Less strong
  • -Arsenal isn't quite as threatening
  • -Not as much experience

Trivia[]


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