Description[]
Which of these wandering post-apocalyptic fighters will come out on top?
Interlude[]
Wiz: The apocalypse. A time of anarchy, violence, and survival of the fittest.
Boomstick: Also, everything's a desert and muscular men go around beating the shit out of each other because reasons. Like Logan, the former Wolverine.
Wiz: And Kenshiro, master of the Hokuto Shinken.
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: It's our jobs to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a Death Battle.
Logan[]
Wiz: Humanity had collapsed. The Avengers were either dead, corrupted, or scattered. The supervillains had inherited America. This was the apocalypse.
Boomstick: In a world like this, there's not much justice to be dishing out. Instead, former heroes just have to get by with surviving.
Wiz: Enter, Wolverine. Rather, Logan, as he had dropped the hero mantle long ago after accidentally killing the X-Men because of Mysterio. In fact, he had made an oath to never use his claws again. He was just trying to live and provide for his family in former Sacramento, now known as Hulkland.
Boomstick: The land was owned by Hulk and his stereotypically southern hillbilly family. What a bunch of idiots.
Wiz: Um...
Boomstick: What?
Wiz: Nothing. Anyways, Logan needed money to pay for his rent in Hulkland, so he joined old Hawkeye on a mission to deliver a secret package across the country. Unbeknownst to Logan, what he was delivering was a Super Soldier Serum, and it was being taken to an underground resistance group trying to reform the Avengers.
Boomstick: But then it turned out that it was a trap. See, the resistance never really existed. They were just spies for the corrupted and now evil S.H.I.E.L.D. They killed Hawkeye and Logan, but Logan healed. When he woke up, he was smack dab in the middle of a trophy hall belonging to Red Skull.
Wiz: In this trophy hall, Red Skull kept ornaments from the dead Avengers, including Iron Man's armor and Captain America's shield. Logan killed Red Skull using the shield, and escaped using Iron Man's armor.
Boomstick: When he returned home, however, he didn't find a friendly sight. He found the bodies of his entire family, and for the first time in decades, he unsheathed his claws.
Wiz: Logan murdered all of Hulk's children, and confronted Bruce Banner himself. It turns out that the gamma radiation in Bruce's bloodstream had driven Hulk mad, and he just wanted somebody to fight. In his Hulk form, Bruce was bigger and stronger than ever before. He beat Logan to a pulp before eating him alive.
Boomstick: Luckily, Logan cut his way out of Hulk, killing him once and for all.
Wiz: Now having broken his oath to never kill again, Logan was distraught. His entire world was gone, just like his family. He found a baby Hulk and adopted it to try and start anew, but his life was forever changed. He wasn't the Wolverine, and he was no longer Logan either.
Boomstick: In the All-New Marvel timeline, Logan returned, but was killed permanently by being shot with bullets made of muramasa metal, which negated his healing factor.
Wiz: Since the Old Man Logan timeline is a direct continuation of the normal Marvel timeline, it's reasonable to assume that he has similar strength to his past self, although he might have gotten weaker with age. However, his claws are a different story. Being made of adamantium, they are extremely powerful, and are consistently strong enough to cut through almost anything. This matches up with him killing Hulk, who in his old age was actually bigger and presumably stronger than his past self.
Boomstick: He hasn't lost any speed with age either! He's capable of keeping up with Miles Morales, who can perform actions in under a microsecond. This is consistent with him being comparable to other fast Avengers in his prime.
Wiz: He also has extremely high durability due to his adamantium skeleton, and can regenerate from almost anything. He survived a beating from his world's Hulk, as well as surviving a fight with Amadeus Cho from Earth-616. He also has really good stamina. He once climbed out of a well with ten arrows piercing his body, and was still able to fight with a broken arm and several broken ribs. He was even unfazed by three spears impaling him.
Boomstick: He does have some weaknesses though. He can be killed by anything that can negate regeneration, and his metal skeleton is susceptible to magnetism.
Wiz: There's a reason that everybody in the wasteland fears Old Man Logan.
Logan: His body hits the floor and everything feels right. I know a peace I ain't felt in a long, long time. I'm sure now. This is why I'm here. I'm here to hunt.
Kenshiro[]
Wiz: Kenshiro was an orphan adopted by Ryūken, and a successor of the Hokute Sōke bloodline. Kenshiro and his adoptive brothers would train under Ryūken to become the successor of the Hokuto Shinken, or the Holy Fist of the North Star fighting style. Kenshiro eventually won that title, and became a master of the martial art.
Boomstick: Then a nuclear war broke out, and killed Ryūken. After the dust had settled, Japan was a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Kenshiro had to leave his fiancé, Yuria, to find a better future for the both of them. Unfortunately, some warlord named Shin kidnapped Yuria and gave Kenshiro the seven scars that we see on his chest today. Shin was trained in another school of Hokuto Shinken called Nanto Seiken.
Wiz: Kenshiro began to search for years to find Yuria, and eventually learned that she had died. Kenshiro was distraught, and began to wander the wastelands, dishing out justice to those that had wronged others so that nobody would lose somebody like he had lost Yuria.
Boomstick: The Hokuto Shinken fighting style is very unique. It focuses on pressure points, pressing the body's weak spots to make the body do all sorts of things. It can control muscles, rip out bones, or even just make people explode into a mass of blood and guts.
Wiz: Kenshiro is fast enough to leave afterimages, swat throwing knives out of the air with nunchucks, dodge crossbow bolts, and even break a guy's arm so fast that he didn't notice it at first.
Boomstick: He can send people flying, crush giant rocks with a single punch, break stone pillars, flip cars, tear through brick and stone walls, shatter metal, and crush bones without a second thought.
Wiz: He can flex strong enough to force skewers out of his body, block attacks that can cleave through solid rock, rip through electrified fence, survive pillars being crushed over his head, and survive attacks designed to instantly kill normal people.
Boomstick: Nobody can stand up to Kenshiro. Every villain he's faced has died so fast that they didn't even have time to develop as characters. Kenshiro kills mercilessly, and nobody can stop him.
Wiz: However, he's never fought somebody who could survive the Hokuto Shinken fighting style, so he depends on it entirely.
Boomstick: Trust me when I say that Kenshiro's the one guy you don't want to piss off.
Kenshiro: Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Pre-Battle[]
A tumbleweed kicked up dust as it rolled across the desert wasteland. It came to a stop next to a half-buried dilapidated building. Suddenly, a foot came down and crushed the plant. The foot belonged to an old man in jeans and a white undershirt. He had three metal claws extended out of each hand. This was Logan, the former Wolverine.
Standing across from Logan, a few hundred meters away, stood a younger man with seven scars on his chest. He stood in a martial artist's fighting stance. This was Kenshiro, master of the Hokuto Shinken. The two stared each other down before walking towards each other.
FIGHT![]
Logan made the first attack, slashing his claws in an arc in front of Kenshiro, but the agile man dodged them with ease. Logan was then pummeled by Kenshiro and sent backwards. Logan ran forwards again, this time with much more vigor. He caught Kenshiro in a combo of furious slashes, launching him into the air before finishing it off with a kick square in the chest.
Kenshiro reeled back, but quickly got up and punched Logan again. Logan was now the one who was caught in a vicious combo, being knocked backwards a fair distance. Logan landed on his feet, kicking dust into the air. Kenshiro charged at Logan, flipping over his head and kicking him in the back. He then threw some dirt into his eyes and kneed the mutant sharply in the chest.
Logan coughed up some blood, and wiped the dirt from his eyes. He stabbed forward at Kenshiro, but Kenshiro evaded the attack. He then pressed his fingers against Logan's chest, sending him stumbling.
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Logan's chest exploded without warning, leaving a huge hole his body fell to the ground.
Just as Kenshiro began to walk away, however, he heard a voice behind him.
It'll take a lot more than that to take me down, bub.
When Kenshiro looked back, Logan was back up, and the hole in his chest was gone.
Nani?!
Logan rushed forward and stabbed in an uppercut motion, shanking his claws through the top of Kenshiro's head. He then used his other hand to disembowl his opponent, letting the bottom half of his body fall to the ground as he held the top half on his claws.
KO![]
Logan sheathed his claws, letting the body fall. He then began to walk into the desert sunset, dust kicking up behind each step.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: No, not Kenshiro! He was my favorite!
Wiz: Yeah, this matchup seemed to be pretty clear from the start. Logan had better stats overall in most categories.
Boomstick: He outspend Kenshiro and had far greater strength. The only category that Kenshiro wins in is durability negation.
Wiz: Speaking of which, Kenshiro hypothetically could've killed Logan. However, Logan can regenerate from most of Kenshiro's attacks. Ken wouldn't have the knowledge beforehand about Logan's healing factor, so he wouldn't know that he had to destroy Logan's brain and stop it from healing. And with Logan's speed, Kenshiro couldn't afford to experiment more than once.
Boomstick: In the end, this matchup was pretty clear-cut.
Wiz: The winner is Old Man Logan.