They look small, but villains beware! They will kick the crap out of you and look good in pink.
INTRO[]
Boomstick: Hey Wiz! You know what time it is?
Wiz: It's 10:00 a.m. Boomstick.
Boomstick: It's time to do some badass shit and look good in pink while doing so.
Wiz: Sometimes the underdog of the team is often time the strongest, physically. But like Boomstick said, they are capable of doing badass shit.
Boomstick: Like Nora Valkyrie, the hammer wielding destroyer of team JNPR.
Wiz: And Spider-Gwen, spider woman of Marvel's Earth 65 in the Spider-Verse.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to anaylize their armour weapons and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!!
NORA RIDES THE VALKYRIE TO DEATH BATTLE[]
Wiz: In the world of Remnant, superpowers and superpowered weapons are of the ordinary. But the threats of this world are not exactly treated lightly.
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Boomstick: There's a whole bunch of beasts called Grimm who attack village after village. One of these was the home of little Nora Valkyire.
Wiz: Nora was an orphan and homeless. She had to rely on stealing bread to survive, until she met a young boy named Lie Ren. Although she couldn't live with him at his home, things changed when an army of Grimm attacked the village.
Boomstick: While Ren saw his father murdered before his eyes, Nora got scared and hid. But Ren ran back for her and used his Semblance to save her.
Wiz: Ren, in that moment handed Nora a small wooden hammer to protect herself. Running for their lives, Nora and Ren escaped. About 10 years later, the two went to Beacon Academy and made themselves into the best of team JNPR.
Boomstick: Over the years, Nora learned to use one of the most badass weapons in the RWBY Universe: her hammer Magnhild, THAT CAN TURN INTO A GRENADE LAUNCHER!!!
Wiz: To say that this grenade launcher is different is an understatement. The very projectiles that it blasts are pink grenades that can lock on it's targets. In hammer form, it can still shoot grenades to increase the momentum of the blow.
Boomstick: And when it's charged with enough juice, she can blasts all of the Grenades to destroy any target. I wish I had one.
Wiz: But what makes Nora so impressive is her Semblance.
Boomstick: What's so impressive about that?
Wiz: Boomstick, SHE WAS STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. HER SEMBLANCE ALLOWS HER TO ABSORB LIGHTNING!!!
Wiz:... Anyway, Nora's Semblance allows her to absorb her electrical energy. This is only made helpful because the hammer can double as a lightning rod.
Boomstick: Owww.... Yeah, she's also hyperactive, the right's a thing good, that?
Wiz: Yes.... Boomstick, are you okay?
Boomstick: Beer a enjoy.
Wiz: Nora's done amazing things suck as:
(RWBY) We'll Break His Legs!
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Launched Yang Xiao Long 10,000 feet into the air.
Rendered four people unconscious with a single hammer blow.
Destroyed a giant monster made from rocks.
Rode and Destroyed an Ursa.
And lifted 2,000 pounds.
Boomstick: But she does have one weakness. Her Aura can only last so long and she never takes anything seriously. How did she ever become a huntress?
Wiz: If she does take anything seriously, she knows that she will fight to destroy Grimm and put Salem down for good.
THE NIGHT GWEN STACY ENTERED DEATH BATTLE[]
Boomstick: In July of 1973, the world was terrifyed as hell as they watched Peter Parker's first girlfriend Gwen Stacy died.
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Wiz: But then in September of 2014, Spider-Man entered the Spider-Verse, a collection of alternate universes.
Boomstick: Oh god, there's a multiverse here too?
Wiz: Yes, but it's not as confusing like DC's multiverse. Among the alternate Spider-Men and Women are amazing people like Maguel O'Hara the Spider-Man of 2099, Spider-Man Noir, Miles Morales the Ultimate Spider-Man, May Parker the daughter of Peter and Mary Jane and Spider-Gwen, the Spider of Marvel's Earth 65.
Boomstick: Stop us if you've heard this before.
Wiz: Gwen Stacy and her class was on a field trip to a science labrotory. One of the spiders crawled and bit one of the students, before you say Peter was bitten, no.
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Boomstick: Nope! Gwen got bitten. Yeah. Never heard that one before.
Wiz: But what ended up happening was that Gwen's DNA altered to make her harder, better, faster, stronger and able to do things a spider can.
Wiz: Augh, however, Peter Parker's fate was worse. When Gwen tried to stand up to Peter being bullied, he developed a serum to give him powers.
Boomstick: But like every mad scientist hell-bent on revenge, he turned into a GIANT LIZARD?!
Wiz: Yes, he became this universe's Lizard.
Boomstick: But over a shit-ton of comic books, she beat him and saved everybody!
Wiz: Not everyone. Peter Parker died.
Boomstick: Well shit. But Gwen suddenly understood the burden of what she had to do, as a hero. With great power, must also come great responsibility.
Wiz: Wow, that's actually very poetic, Boomstick.
Boomstick: Hey Wiz, pull my finger.
Wiz: No! Oh god, what is that smell?
Boomstick: Shoulda pulled my finger.
Wiz: Can't... breathe...
Boomstick: She can break batons with a single punch, slamed the Punisher into a car (And dented it!), lift 10 tons, punched the Rhino through a wall and defeated Matt Murdock! Holy shit!
Sony's Spider Gwen HD Trailer (2020) Emma Stone, Andrew Garfield (Fan Made)-2
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Wiz: She is... fast enough to... dodge bullets... And durable enough to... withstand a blast from Electro. Gwen also has Spider-Sense, which works as an early warning system.
Boomstick: Gwen even got thrown through A BRICK WALL AND GOT UP LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!! HOLY SHIT CAN NOTHING HURT HER?!
Wiz: Well, bullets.
Boomstick: Oh.
Wiz: But her web fluid is fast. The web fluid itself can travel at speeds faster than a bullet from a handgun.
Boomstick: Damn. These powers are so cool, but have a big ass responsibility. But in the hands of Gwen Stacy, she becomes the heroine New York needs and deserves.
PRE-BATTLE[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set and we've run the data though all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE[]
(Madam Web sees the Spider-Verse and hears a vicious roar in Earth 65. Her eyes widen).
Madam Web: Gwen.
(On Earth 65, Spider-Woman ((Gwen Stacy)) throws Kingpin into the back of a police vehicle and swings to a nearby building, when she hears Madam Web in her head).
Spider-Gwen: Whoa! Madam Web, how did you do that?!
Madam Web: Doesn't matter. There is something terrible on your world. Peter Parker is alive.
Spider-Gwen: What? He-- He's alive? Where is he?!
Madam Web: Central Park, but hurry. He may be in danger.
Spider-Gwen: Thank you Madam Web!
(She swings to central park, and sees the Lizard).
Spider-Gwen: Peter?
Lizard: ROAR!!!
Spider-Gwen: Peter, it's okay. I can help you, I don't want to lose you again. Please--
Nora: KAAAAAAA-BLAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Nora flies in and smashes in the Lizard's head, with blood and skin flakes flying. Gwen stumbles backward and watches in horror.)
Nora: YEAH!! NO ONE CAN BEAT THE POWER OF THUNDER THIGHS!!!
Spider-Gwen: No... Not again...
Nora: Hey, you okay?
Spider-Gwen: You... MURDERED HIM!!!
Nora: Who? The green Grimm guy??
Spider-Gwen: I WILL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!
FIGHT!!!
(Spider-Gwen shoots a web into Nora's face and punches her in the stomach. Nora stumbles back and swings her hammer, hitting Gwen in the chest. Gwen is thrown though the park as she crashes into a tree. Her Spider-Sense goes off as a pink grenade locks on Spider-Gwen's location. Dodging the weapon, another grenade locks onto Spider-Gwen, only for her to swing to explosive device at Nora. The grenade goes off, leaving Spider-Gwen thinking Nora could be dead.)
Spider-Gwen: That's for Pete--
Nora (Holds up her hammer): Take this!
(A thunderstorm forms and a bolt of lightning strikes Nora's hammer. Gwen is electrocuted, sending her Spider-Sense off the charts. She holds her head in pain when Nora runs at Spider-Gwen and hits her with the electricity filled hammer. Spider-Gwen is hit so hard, she crashes through several trees and slams into a car. Nora goes in for the final blow, but Spider-Gwen dodges the head of the hammer and kicks Nora in the head, causing her to stumble backwards.)
Nora: Owww.... Looks like I need to pull out the big gun.
(Nora runs up to Gwen, and locks arms with her. Then, Nora headbutts her. Gwen is then thrown away into the park and shoots a webline on Nora and swings her around crashing into three trees, a fountain and finally, a bench.)
Spider-Gwen: Goodbye, Pinky.
Nora: Actually...it's Nora...
(She jumps up, blood rushing down her head, grabs a tree branch, builds a makeshift hammer with chunk of cement and webbing. Then, she hits Gwen flying 10,000 feet into the air, destroying the hammer. Gwen falls to the ground, but she web slings and jumps on Nora's back. She then pulls out a strand of web-fluid and begins to strangle Nora.)
Nora: Gahhhh.....
(She then tries to grab the hammer, but grabs a piece of wood to stab Gwen. Gwen dodges the wood and grabs her arm. Noticing the metal light post, Nora summons more lightning. Spider-Gwen jumps off just in time as Nora charges up and grabs her hammer. Gwen stares in terror as she gets really tired.)
Spider-Gwen: WHY DON'T YOU GET TIRED?!
Nora: Nope. Cause...
(Nora runs to Spider-Gwen.)
I'm...
(She lifts the hammer up into the air.)
QUEEN
(Nora spins the hammer for momentum.)
OF THE
(Gwen can barely move.)
CASTLE!!!
(Nora smashes Spider-Gwen's head in, she falls and her hand lands in the dead Lizard's hand).
K.O.!
POST BATTLE[]
Boomstick: Why do our combatants get fucked up so bad, they never have open-casket funerals?
Wiz: Spider-Gwen did have an avantage with her Spider-Sense, but there is a slight problem.
Boomstick: HER SPIDER-SENSE CAN BE MESSED UP WITH ELECTROCUTION!!!
Wiz: Yes. And Nora overpowered Spider-Gwen in strength, speed, experience and weapons. For example, Nora has spent almost all her life fighting Grimm, which are far more powerful monsters than anything Gwen has ever fought.
Boomstick: Looks like Spider-Gwen's Remnants will be all over Central Park.
