Nikolai vs. Makarov
Nikolai vs. Makarov is Jackythejack's eighth death battle pitting two of Call of Duty's most well known Russians, Nikolai Belinski from the Black Ops trilogy, and Vladimir Makarov of the Modern Warfare trilogy.
Prelude[]
Black Ops vs. Modern Warfare! Which Call of Duty Russian will reign supreme? Will Nikolai sober up for the occasion, or while Makarov give him a taste of modern warfare?
Introduction[]
Wiz: The Federative Republic of Russia. With a landmass of 6.6 million square miles, it is the largest country in the world geographically, and one of the strongest countries on Earth.
Boomstick: And not only does Russia have power on a global scale, but it has a lot of badass soldiers to go with it, and Call of Duty, the biggest shooter game series in the history of gaming, has two badass Russians that are going to face off in the ring!
Wiz: Nikolai Belinski, the Russian zombie slayer from the Black Ops trilogy.
Boomstick: And Vladimir Makarov, the man who sparked World War 3.
Wiz: Because of how many weapons they have at their disposal, Nikolai will be given two primaries and a wonder weapon.
Boomstick: And Makarov will be given two primaries and an additional two secondaries to counter this, considering how powerful the wonder weapons in zombies are, and Nikolai will not be given Perks or Gobblegum. That being said, he's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!
Nikolai Packs a Punch in Death Battle[]
Wiz: Being born during the later years of the Russian Empire, Nikolai Belinski's life was anything but nice. His father and mother were both abusive towards him and, assumingly, his brother and sister, who he also despises. His family life could certainly be better.
Boomstick: Though, with the fall of the Russian Empire came a new political movement, the Communist Party, and Nikolai wanted to be a big part of it, too.
Wiz: Seeking to rise through the ranks of the communist party, Nikolai's method of advancement would quickly turn...violent. Very violent. You see, he'd start by marrying someone for political gain, and later on he would brutally kill them and hide their body.
Boomstick: Damn, and I thought I hated my wives. Anyway, yeah, this was how Nikolai would rise through the ranks of the Communist Party, and he was pretty damn good at it, too. He had gotten up until his fifth wife before he was caught. Damn. Wiz? Is this impressive or is it just all kinds of screwed up?
Wiz: Well...actually, it's more sad than anything else. You see...all of this was actually fake. You see, Nikolai only had one actual wife, and she had died in a German advance into Russia during the second World War, and Nikolai's brother in the battle of Stalingrad. To hide the pain that he felt inside of him, Nikolai would turn to Vodka, and drink until he had illusions of other wives and other partners, and...he'd also apparently murder them?
Boomstick: Yeah, the Zombies timeline for Call of Duty is about as confusing as the Five Nights at Freddy's lore, because it doesn't really have an understandable ending? Well, anyways, yeah, it's sad what Nikolai had to go through, but that wasn't all that he would have to go through.
Wiz: Correct. You see, Nikolai would later be brought to the German front of the war, just barely surviving through this front of the war. It wouldn't be long until Nikolai was taken as a POW by the Germans.
Boomstick: Along with three other soldiers. The American Tank Dempsey, the Mexican Pablo Marinus, and, oddly enough, the Japanese Takeo Masaki, all three of them being badasses just like him.
Wiz: Shortly after being captured, the three of them were taken to the mad German scientist, Dr. Edward Richtofen, who experimented on them with the mysterious element known as 115.
Boomstick: Why are all of the psychos German? I mean seriously can't we get like a Swiss psychopath or something? Or French? Something other than German, please? It's just so predictable.
Wiz: It does seem to be a common trope, yes. Though, the experiments using 115 would have a permanent effect on Nikolai, wiping his memory, deteriorating his intelligence, and...apparently making him more of an alcholic than he already was. Now he practically needs Vodka to function.
Boomstick: Man, he really needs a drink. These experiments really had a bad effect on him. Though, eventually the facility they were held hostage at was overrun by zombies because of a girl named Samantha. No more experiments for Richtofen, which was probably for the better considering he killed Pablo. He freed the POWs, armed them, and together they fought off the zombie hordes.
Wiz: Fortunately for the four survivors, constant exposure to element 115, while really having harmful effects on them, would also make them immune to the zombie virus. No matter how often they get attack, they could never get infected and turn into one of the undead.
Boomstick: So they can fight the undead without a single worry! And to fight the undead, Nikolai has a very diverse arsenal that can cause some major damage, such as the Olympia shotgun, which is basically just if someone took a skeet shotgun and decided to use humans as targets. It's a two bullet gun and can really tear a guy up when he gets in close.
Wiz: He also has his PPSh-41, a Soviet submachine guns which holds a whopping 71 bullets per clip, and it has a fire rate of 895 RPM. It is a very powerful weapon, and is arguably one of the best weapons in zombies, or at least it was during it's days of World at War.
Boomstick: And the real icing on top of the cake, Nikolai has the most iconic wonder weapon, the Ray Gun!
"This fucking gun is amazing!"
Boomstick: You got that right, Nikolai! This gun is a masterpiece of cold fusion science mixed with a little bit of 115 technology. I dunno how it works, and it never really explains it, either, but I don't care. It's amazing. The gun holds twenty weird bullet battery things per clip, and is powerful enough to kill tons of zombies in a single hit, and it can definitely do some damage if it doesn't kill you. Though, honestly, if it doesn't kill you, you better hope NIkolai is feeling merciful and kill you soon after.
| Weapons |
|---|
| Olympia: Two round skeet shotgun. Close ranged weapon, 212 RPM, and a low reload speed. Only for close range enemies. |
| PPSh-41: Soviet submachine gun. Close to mid-range. 71 round magazine. Average reload speed and a fire rate of 895 RPM. Not good for longer distance targets, however. |
| Ray Gun: Weapon created by Group 935, using cold cell and 115 technology. Average reload, 20 round magazine, and a highly destructive weapon. 151 RPM. Infinite range, but bullets move slow. |
Wiz: And while the weapons that Nikolai carries with him are impressive, what's even more impressive is Nikolai and how much damage he can actually take. He's taken blow after blow from zombie forces, and always gets himself back together after a few seconds of just...walking away, really.
Boomstick: Nikolai can tank explosions from grenades, being burned alive by the Panzar Soldat, explosions from a zombie that has Napalm in it, being hit by an energy launcher, being shocked the shit out of by electric zombies, and withstanding shrieks so high they can kill a person.
Wiz: And, of course, Nikolai can take bullets like they're nothing, and so can his allies, and considering that he was in the Russian military, he probably had some pretty good training, considering the Russian army is anything but a bunch of slackers. Of course, despite this, Nikolai has flaws, definitely.
Boomstick: Yep, for example, his need for vodka. When we said he had a drinking problem, we really aren't kidding. Nikolai has so bad of a problem that without alcohol constantly getting pumped into his system, he will literally stop responding to stimuli and just freezes up, which...definitely isn't good.
Wiz: That and Nikolai isn't smart, likely because of the constant drinking. It's implied that he's intelligent when he's not drunk, but...that never really happens. Not only that, but Nikolai can also suffer from poor accuracy given that he's drunk all the time.
Boomstick: Of course, even then, Nikolai isn't a guy I'd like to cross...or someone I'd like to cut off at a bar.
"You cannot run from Nikolai!"
Makarov Modernizes Death Battle[]
Wiz: Some men would go to any length to achieve thier goal. No obstacle they wouldn't overcome, and no line they wouldn't cross.
Boomstick: And, in some cases, no man, woman, or child that they wouldn't murder to fulfuil their goals.
Wiz: This mentality fits the ultranationalist terrorist, Vladimir Makarov.
"Remember, no Russian."
Wiz: As a member of the Russian Army, Makarov would quickly rise from the ranks of a lowly paratrooper to being part of the Russian Special Forces, or the Spetsnaz. During his military career, Makarov was known for being...rather ruthless.
Boomstick: Wiz, come on, don't sugar coat these kinds of things. Being in the Spetsnaz, Makarov has been on two tours of Chechnya, an area that had been giving Russia problmes for a long, long time now. Though, he was also known to take part in the "cleansing" raids, which basically involved killing lots of Chechnyans in what was basically genocide.
Wiz: When the UN came to investigate claims of human rights violations, Makarov had no choice but to leave the armed forces and live life as a normal civilian. This would then begin his long hatred of the western world, and the Russian government for forcing him to leave their armed forces.
Boomstick: With the military no longer being an option, Makarov became a terrorist, partaking in crimes such as smuggling, money laundering, and bombing civilians areas. Eventually he'd be recruited into the Ultranationalist party by a guy named Zakhaev.
Wiz: This would just allow Makarov to do more terrible things, like the time he exploded a nuclear warhead in the Middle East, or when he practically caused World War 3 by killing one of the American spies that was with him, shortly after causing a massacre of civillians at an airport.
Boomstick: Damn, this is one bad guy. Though, being one of the most wanted terrorists in the history of the world probably gives you some pretty badass weaponry, yeah?
Wiz: Well, that's...one way to look at it, sure. Though, for the sake of this battle he is only going to be given four weapons. One of them being the M240 Light Machine Gun, which is capable of holding one hundred rounds in a single magazine, which is way more than enough to kill someone several times over, so...I don't see why that many bullets is necessary.
Boomstick: Because it's badass, Wiz. Sure, it's difficult to reload, but it's definitely badass. Anyways, his other weapon that we're giving him, his primary weapon, is the Spas-12 shotgun. Not only does this bad boy hold seven bullets in a magazine, but it's also great against fighting Velociraptors.
Wiz: Er, where did you learn that?
Boomstick: Jurassic Park, of course! What other movie kills Velociraptors with Spas 12s?
Wiz: Didn't that man die before he could shoot one of those things?
Boomstick: ...clever Wiz. Clever.
Wiz: Right...well, anyways, the Spas clearly has a problem to it, such as the fact that it doesn't have much range, given that it's a shotgun, but if it's up close, it can cause a lot of damage. Though, now that we finished the primaries, onto the secondaries.
Boomstick: The first one we're giving him is the Skorpion machine pistol. Some may argue that it's a machine gun on it's own, but in MW3 it's a machine pistol, and what a good one it is. Capable of firing twenty rounds at 857 RPM, it can definitely fuck a guy up if it gets withing range.
Wiz: And the last weapon that we have is the Desert Eagle This is a very powerful pistol, and if it comes within range of it's target, it could kill a normal man in a single hit. However, the gun has a massive amounts of recoil, so if you miss the first shot, you're going to suffer.
| Weapons |
|---|
| M240: 100 round Light Machine Gun. Capable at most close ranges. Has a long reload speed and a rate of fire at 759 RPM. Low to mid recoil. |
| Spas-12: 8 round shotgun that is better at close range, but unusable at a long range. High amount of recoil, must be pumped after shooting a bullet. |
| Skorpion: 20 round machine pistol, cpaable of shooting at 857 RPM. High recoil when aiming, low ammunition. |
|
Desert Eagle: High powered pistol, holding seven bullets in a mag. High damage up close, low range, high recoil, and low ammunition overall. |
Boomstick: Though, we're not just going to look over his weapons and stuff. Makarov is actually a pretty competent guy, on and off the battlefield.
Wiz: Not only was he able to hide from basically the entire US Military, but he was able to plunge the world into a state of terror, without anyone being able to catch him. He's been a crime lord for years, planning out events to be seemingly foolproof for him.
Boomstick: Yeah yeah who cares about smarts? Let's talk about his durabiltiy, which is really what Makarov has got going for hiim the most. Spoilers for MW3, in case that's relevent, but anyways, in the final mission of MW3, Makarov was able to survive a helicoptor crash, without even wearing any special armor or anything.
Wiz: Not only that, but he was still healthy enough to survive a bullet, at generally close range, by a UPS .45, and was able to kill the guy who shot him a moment later.
Boomstick: and this is just a normal human, by the way, so he's pretty damn tough for some guy who doesn't really exercise.
Wiz: However, he was in the special forces of the Russian army, so it's safe to assume that he had gone under necessary training, and possibly learn some self defence techniques with his hands. Though, he hasn't been shown to do this in the games. Honestly, his worse weakness is his lack of any physical strength that we can see. He hasn't really done much to prove how strong he is.
Boomstick: Though, even then, Makarov is a guy that I would not want to cross, considering he'd probably try destroying my entire country to get back at me.
"Russia will take all of Europe, even if it must stand upon a pile of ashes."
Pre-Battle[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a death battle!
Death Battle![]
Zakhaev International Airport
August 12th, 2016, 08:40:50
Remember...No Russian
Makarov checked the ammunition in his gun, the M240 being quite a bit heavy when filled to the brim with lead. He checked his other guns for only a moment. Spas, check. Skorpion, check. DEagle? Check. Everything was ready, and once he was done with this, that spy in his midst, the dirty American, was going to die. Then, that's where the real fun begins.
The elevator let out a ding as Makarov looked towards the three others that were among him. He nodded towards the three. "Remember, no Russian," was all he had said before pulling out his LMG and walking out of the elevator, his calm demeanor and steely gaze being able to make any man shiver.
Once the four had stepped out of the elevator, someone must have spotted them. How did he know? Well, the screaming gave it away more than anything else. Now as more eyes turned to him, Makarov gave a silent signal to fire.
Immediately, the entire airport had turn into a sort of bullet hell. Bullets went flying through the air through all four of the guns, mowing down the civilians with ease. Within only a few seconds, they were all lying on the ground, dead. Makarov nodded towards his men and they began to move further into the airport, the sounds of screaming echoing throughout the airport.
Kino Der Toten
October 28th, 1963
"Nikolai, for ze last time, ze teleporter is not fit for use yet." The German doctor spoke in a clearly annoyed tone of voice as he blasted a herd of zombies away with the Thundergun. "You're going to have to vait until I can properly stabilize it, so you don't, you know, possibly die."
"Ah, fuck that," Belinski slurred as he shot a zombie in the head with his ray gun. He let out an unnecessarily long sigh as he walked towards the teleporter, pulling out his Olympia as he did so. "I need to take a break so I can drink my vodka."
"Nikolai! Get away from the teleporter, now! Dempsey, stop him!"
"Kinda busy over here, doc!" The American shouted as he mowed down a horde of zombies with an M16. "Maybe you could stop worrying about the Russians and help us out here? I think Tak is on his last leg anyhow!"
"Please, I can survive much longer than you can, American."
"Would you all stop your bickering and stop ze Russian!?"
"Ah, fuck you, doctor. I do what I want." With a final declaration, Nikolai smashed the button down and the teleporter started up. Arcs of electricity moved up and down in front of him as he felt a very familiar feeling of being teleported. Great. After this, he can get a drink.
Zakhaev International Airport
October 12th, 2016, 08:40:53
Nikolai had not expected the area he had teleported into to be so blinding with all the light. He squinted from all the light as he grabbed the vodka bottle which hung from his belt similar to a grenade. He opened the bottle and took a swig of the liquid before capping it and putting it back on his belt.
By the time it took for him to finish his swig, his eyes became adjusted to his environment. He was in...an airport? How did he get here? Last time he checked he was at a theatre, and what was that sound? That gunshot noise? And screaming? What was going on?
"I know I drink a lot, but I didn't think I'd have hallucinations yet." Nikolai chuckled to himself as he walked forward, his Olympia out at the ready. He'd notice that there were actually people running past him, and it only did more to confuse the Soviet's brain. People? Real, living people? But...how? He had thought everyone had died. Strange...
It wasn't long until the Russian had spotted some people downstairs. Now, normally he wouldn't bat an eye. There were plenty people around here. They were practically everywhere in this airport, but what made them different was the fact that they were carrying guns, and seeming to mow down random civilians. What? At times like this?
Knowing what to do in a situation like this, Nikolai took out his PPSh, a little souvenir from his time at Der Riese, and aimed it at the four.
"Hey, you four down there!" he shouted. As the gunman suddenly drew their eyes towards him, he continued to speak. "It is wrong to mow down comrades when undead walk, yes?"
As soon as Nikolai had finished his sentence, a flurry of bullets had been directed towards the drunk. He let out a small yelp before ducking under the railing. Well, that didn't go as well as he thought it would. Alright, then. Guess he'd have to do things the hard way.
Nikolai waited until the flurry of bullets had stopped before he poked out from underneath his cover. With a surprising amount of accuracy for a drunk, the Russian would aim his machine gun at three of the four heads in the group. He'd hold the trigger down for a second before moving to the next man. They all dropped as soon as the first bullet hit them, and Nikolai began to take the steps down to meet the other man. Woah, these steps move. Or maybe he's seeing things.
"Who do you think you are!" The remaining survivor of the gunmen shouted as he moved towards the escalator, pulling out a pistol that NIkolai had never seen before. "Do you know who I am? Do you know what I can do to you?"
"Do you know who Nikolai is, man with weird gun? You think moving stairs and weird guns will deter Nikolai? Do you know what Nikolai does to people like you, people who shoot Nikolai?"
"Well, maybe it's time I make you learn the name Makarov then, huh?" By now the man had gotten incredibly close to Nikolai. His Desert Eagle was aimed directly at the man's face, and the drunk's Olympia was pointed at his chest. This wasn't according to the plan, but no matter. He'd just have to eliminate an unforeseen variable.
Fight!
Makarov pulled the trigger before Nikolai could it first. The Drunk moved out of the way of the attack, moving his head right before Makarov pulled the trigger, and whacked the terrorist over the head with his gun. Makarov grimaced and took a few steps away from the escalator.
"Yeah, you like that?" Nikolai asked before rushing forward and slamming the butt of the gun into Makarov's face, causing the Russian to step back even further before running towards any sort of cover. He eventually found cover behind a bench and began to think through what he was going to do now. Okay, okay. Fine, whatever. He can handle this, no problem. He's been through worse.
"Yes, run away like a coward. Hah!" Nikolai let out a drunken laugh as he began to walk towards the bench, his slightly blurry vision only serving as a minor hinderance to him, as it always had before, and he was able to wlak towards the bench without stumbling too much.
Before Nikolai could make it to behind the bench, Makarov had popped up behind the bench with his Spas-12 and fired directly at Nikolai, shooting at almost point blank range. Nikolai would be hit dead on and stumble back, bringing a hand to his chest, and over all of the bullet holes that riddled it, and groan.
"Wow, good gun, I'll give you that."
"Who are you? How are you not dead?" He took a shot, point blank, from a shotgun. He shouldn't be living now.
"Simple, Nikolai cannot die." The drunk chuckled as he pulled out his machine gun once more. He cocked the gun as he put his finger on the trigger. "You, though, I believe can die."
Makarov had to dive out of the line of fire as the drunk pressed down completely on the trigger of the gun. The recoil had gotten the best of the drunkard, and the gun began to rock from left to right and eventually just ending up going up. The wall that Makarov had been standing in front of was now riddled with holes, and by the time Nikolai thought about relieving the pressure from the trigger, he lost sight of Makarov.
"Ah, son of bitch," Nikolai muttered as he pulled out the drum magazine and replaced it with a new one, cocking the gun again to put the bullet in the chamber. "Come out, now. You are coward if you do not."
*music stops*
"I'm right behind ya,"
Nikolai suddenly felt a piercing pain in his back. He stumbled forward as the sound of gunfire filled the air. That was one damn powerful gun. Nikolai mumbled multiple curse words as he ran away from his current position, intending to run behind the giant moving staircase to use it as cover.
"Dammit. How tough can ya be?" He's never seen someone take that many bullets before, and he's shot a lot of people, or seen a lot of people being shot. That shouldn't be right...
"I thank the Juggernog machine actually," Nikolai commented before peeking out from behind his cover once more to fire a few shots at the man. Though, by then Makarov had moved to somewhere else. Nikolai let out another loud curse as he reached behind to feel the bullet wound in his back. Ah, that stung more than usual. Powerful gun, that was.
"Why do you insist on hiding?" Nikolai asked while moving out of cover once more. "Come out an face me like real man, unless you are nothing but cowardly cyka."
"Like I'd fight you face to face." The voice came from the side and Nikolai stumbled off to the side just before a gunshot ran throughout the airport once more. Nikolai took out his Olympia and fired his two rounds in that general direction, but he could tell that he didn't hit anything. "You're built like some kind of Juggernaut."
"I'll take that as compliment," Nikolai said with a chuckle before pulling out his knife. "But really, I tire of this. Why don't we finish this off now, huh?"
"Close quarters combat? That's what you're looking for? Buddy, violence is done with guns." Makarov pulled out his Skorpion and began to fire upon the drunkard.
A few bullets pierced the Russian's skin and embedded deep into his body, but he did the clearly suicidal move of charging towards the source of the bullets, knife at the ready. "Die now, son of bitch!"
Nikoli brought his knife down towards Makarov's chest, only for the Russian to grab the zombie killer's arm and twist it around, turning it in such a way that caused Nikolai to drop his knife. He then brought his fist forward and made direct contact with Nikolai's face. He grabbed the drunk's head and brought it directly down onto his knee. Nikolai stumbled backward and fell to the ground.
"That's what you get for trying to pick a fight with a crime lord," Makarov shouted out as he brought out his desert eagle once more, aiming it at the drunk's head as he walked towards him. His cover was blown right now. Might as well go all out. "Now Makarov's face will be the last you'll ever see, you drunkard!"
"You think you can kill me?" Nikolai let out a laugh as he stared down the barrel of the gun, smiling like a madman who did not fear death. "Nikolai cannot die! Heh, that rhymed..."
"Enough of this. Say your goodbyes, bastard!" Just before Makarov could pull the trigger, however, Nikolai had pulled out what had looked like a children's toy and fired it towards Makarov.
A green orb had shot out and hit Makarov directly in the arm, blowing it off completely. Makarov let out a scream as blood went everywhere, spurting from the stump that used to be where his arm was located. He stumbled backward as he tried to grab his Skorpion.
"What the hell was that!?"
"A gun that is fucking awesome, that is what," Nikolai said with a laugh as he fired the ray gun once more, hitting the terrorist in the other arm, which also was blown off the man's body.
Now with two stumps where his arms should be, Makarov fell to his knees while letting out an almost bloodcurdling scream of a man in severe pain. Nikolai laughed as he pulled out his Olympia once more, taking his sweet time to reload the gun.
"Didn't I tell you? Nikolai cannot die! Haha!" The drunkard would then aim his shotgun towards Makarov's forehead. He fired, and a giant hole was put into Makarov's head, abruptly ending his screaming as bits of brain shot out from the back of his head. NIkolai moved his gun down a little further and pulled the trigger once more, destroying the lower part of Makarov's face as well.
K.O!
The final scene shows Nikolai taking a swig of his vodka as he was suddenly teleported back in time to Kino Der Toten.
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: Holy shit that was brutal! Who knew skeet shotguns were that strong?
Wiz: While Makarov has proven to be surprisingly durable, Nikolai has shown to be even more so. In fact, his durability has been shown to far surpass anything that Makarov has been capable of.
Boomstick: And before you complain that Nikolai has never been shot at before, he actually has before. Remember those sentry turrets on Kino Der Toten, the one map just about everyone likes? Yeah, there's a sentry turret there, and when it's firing, you can jump in front of it, and the bullets barely do any damage to him!
Wiz: Not only that, but Nikolai is just, in general, more experienced than Makarov has ever been. Sure, Makarov part of the military, but he has only been to Chechnya and fought those from Chechnya, which wasn't exactly a problem for Russian forces. And even then, Nikolai has fought all kinds of zombies, including the undead, and is an experienced killer.
Boomstick: Really the only thing Nikolai had against him was that he was drunk all the time, so it might impair his vision, but Nikolai can headshot a zombie from across an entire map with a sniper rifle if he wants to! He's just so drunk that he's gotten used to his own disadvantages.
Wiz: In the end, while Makarov may have been smarter, and arguably had better weaponry, Nikolai was able to best him.
Boomstick: Guess you could say that Makarov was to eager to go Russian into battle. Heh. Get it?
Wiz: The winner is Nikolai Belinski