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Description[]

Attack of the 50ft Tall Woman vs DC! Which of these wealthy women is the more ferocious female in Death Battle?

Interlude[]

Wiz: Name out the things you don't see everyday.

Boomstick: Let's see... a sheep kicking Godzilla in the balls, a Tyrannosaurus eating Chuck Norris's dick, a giant woman--

Wiz: Actually, you do see that.

Boomstick: Wait, what?

Wiz: You heard right. A giant woman. This gigantic female originated in 1958's Attack of The 50ft Woman.

Boomstick: For some reason, that reminds me of Wonder Woman.

Wiz: That is why we are doing this Death Battle.

Boomstick: Now this is what ya call a battle of the chicks. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who will win a Death Battle.

Nancy Archer[]

Mr. Ingersol: Oh! Hello Nancy.

Wiz: Yes, Nancy Archer was once a wealthy woman who is going through an emotional breakdown.

Boomstick: Yeah! No thanks to her horny husband has been two-timing her. Not to mention, her pop schemes to spend every penny of her inheritance in ruling her hometown.

Wiz: All that changes after an extraterrestrial encounter. She turned into a 50 feet giantess on the same night after the alien abduction.

Boomstick: Well, she certainly gave the saying Living Large a whole new meaning.

Wiz: As it turns out when she's extremely stressed, her modified physiology causes her mass to increase after each aggravated outburst.

Dr. Loeb: The human body wasn't designed to grow that large. I'm concerned about the strain.

Harry: You mean like on her heart? She can have a heart attack.

Dr. Leob: Harry, try to understand. Right now, your wife has the blood pressure of an adult giraffe.

Boomstick: So after hearing this, Nancy's heartbreaking husband decided to murder her discretely by breaking her heart.

Wiz: But he failed as she developed an immunity from the heart attack he gave her. After waking up from that horrible experience, she was so mad with her husband and decided to hunt him down.

Boomstick: The moral of the story is never provoke a grumpy giantess otherwise you'll regret it after tasting some female fury.

Nancy: Don't be stupid your whole damn life. You're better than they are. You're smarter than they are. And you know more than you think. We all do.

Wiz: Moving on. Nancy in her enormous form is bulletproof.

Boomstick: Yeah! Not to mention missile proof.

Wiz: She's also able to survive high voltage electric shocks although they do hurt her pretty badly.

Boomstick: In the end she did have a happy ending as she made friends with some gargantuan gals who are of similar size to her on board the same UFO that upgraded her body earlier on and her husband is going through rehab with some men who probably used to be pricks to her gal pals in the same way how he is to her in a small portion of the ultra UFO which is being used as room for them. Man, I hope the fight fans don't get bored by my long story.

Wiz: Not at all, Boomstick. I think we're done narrating Nancy's origins.

Wonder Woman[]

Wiz: Ah, Wonder Woman the first super-heroine created to be the representative of feminism.

Boomstick: Well for this crazy cat-fight, we're going to use the Post-Crisis version as she doesn't have unique weakness of her people; Aphrodite's Law which is somehow linked to BDSM and has the ability to fly that these two features are shown in the Pre-Crisis version nor are we going to use the New 52 version as the Very Important Goddess of her kind; Hera will be her step-mummy due to the one-night stand Queen Hippolyta had with Zeus so that will lead to family issues.

Wiz: Centuries ago, the Amazons made their home on Themyscira which is an island paradise after suffering bloodshed on men's world.

Boomstick: It's a place where every man dreams to be on as it is filled with bodacious babes!

Steve Trevor: Oh man! This is too good to be true.

Wiz: One day, their leader Queen Hippolyta wished for a child.

Boomstick: But without any men to help her and perhaps give her an additional free & fun trail so she has no choice but to ask the Greek goddesses to help her play god.

Wiz: So without further ado, the queen molded some mud from the island into the shape of a baby girl, trikle a few drops of her blood on it & prayed hard for her dream to come true.

Boomstick: And volia, so kids this is how you make a magical baby girl.

Wiz: The baby girl was named Diana by Queen Hyppolyta & as she was made from mud & the queen's blood so it's not wrong to say that both Gaia & Hyppolyta are her biological mothers.

Boomstick: So Wiz, you're saying Diana has 2 mummies which is similar to the sheep, Dolly as you see she was made from the cell of 1 sheep's boob & the egg cell of another lady sheep?

Wiz: Yes.

Boomstick: Boy, I do sound like you at that time.

Wiz: Young Diana was taught the art of war and her combat training began at an early age. She was also given her superpowers by the greek gods and goddesses.

Wonder Woman: Great Hera.

Boomstick: Since Wonder Whore here has an overloaded variety of superpowers on her, we'll only talk about the bare necessities given to her. From Athena she required combat strategy, Demeter planted super strength along with super durability in her as these two superpowers do make good buddies, Artemis gave her super senses that will make wolverine sulk for years & super speed that enables her to keep up with Blue Boy, Superman.

Wiz: Diana did have a happy and carefree childhood on Themyscira. That is until the pilot of a gunned warplane named Steve Trevor landed on her and that time she was a fully grown adult.

Boomstick: Oh yeah! Check out that nice bod of hers.

Wiz: Ahem! Boomstick are you done?

Boomstick: Sorry, I've got to point out the obvious.

Wiz: So in order to send Steve back to his own world, Queen Hyppolyta needed to choose a volunteer among her people to be an ambassador of Themyscira.

Boomstick: She did this by holding an Olympic tournament, Amazonian style.

Wiz: All except Diana were allowed to participant.

Boomstick: You see Diana was disqualified because the queen wanted to protect her blood relative because she was made from a few drops of her blood as mentioned earlier.

Wiz: But disobeying her mother, Diana disguised herself to take in the competition.

Boomstick: Boy, Diana did proof that they are losers when they challenged her.

Wiz: Hyppolyta did get a shock of her life when she found out who the champion was.

Boomstick: So like it or not, she gave her daughter holy gadgets that will make Batman drool with envy.

Wiz: For winning the tournament, Diana received the bracelets of submission, the lasso of truth and the boomerang tiara.

Boomstick: The bracelets of submission is made from the Aegis of Zeus, that means this babies are as tough as adamantium.

Wiz: Yes, they are unbreakable so they can protect wearer from any harm even laser blasts.

Boomstick: The lasso of truth will make you spill facts although they don't have to be fun unless you are too wacko or really are a dope to understand the meaning of truth and besides that, this blink blink rope is indestructible.

Wiz: It is forged by Hephaetus and it can only be destroyed if it is used to strangle someone or being used on someone who really doesn't the meaning of the word, truth at all.

Boomstick: Finally, the boomerang tiara which will make Xena's chakram turn out to be an amateur.

Wiz: As its name suggests, it will return to its user whether it strikes its target or not and it is sharp enough to cut through almost anything.

Boomstick: Aside from being given these super-cool stuff, she was also given one last vital item and that is her iconic sexy suit.

Wiz: This outfit given to her doesn't just make her look beautiful as it also upholds the colors of the the American flag to form strong ties between Themyscira and America.

Boomstick: God bless America and Hera bless Themyscira.

Wiz: After sending Steve Trevor back to America, she became known as Wonder Woman. She fought crime and promote feminism.

Boomstick: All hail the women's champion.

Wiz: After spending some time in Men's World; which is what the Amazons call anywhere outside Themyscira, she learns to bond with men even to the extend of forming a romantic relationship with Steve Trevor.

Boomstick: Man, talk about someone who was being raised in no man's world to being a squatter in one with men.

Wiz: She learned to work with male superheroes such as Batman and Superman and even became a female founding member of the Justice League.

Boomstick: Give a hand for girl power!

DEATH BATTLE![]

On the outskirts of Washington DC, a flying saucer shines a beam of light on the ground. The giantess, Nancy Archer starts to appear under the beam of light. After that, the UFO hovers off & she starts heading towards Washington, D.C. Terrified civilians started running away from her after taking a first glance at her.

Nancy: Henry! Come out wherever you are. I don't know how you escaped but you're gonna get it when I find you.

The giantess then starts smashing the structures around her in her fit of anger. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman saw the destruction from the top of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception while surveying the city and go over to investigate.

Wonder Woman: Merciful Minerva, haven't you caused enough damage? Leave now or I'll be forced to hurt you.

Nancy Archer stops & faces the Amazonian princess.

Nancy: Make me!

FIGHT!

Nancy swats at Diana which sends her flying into a building. Wonder Woman retaliated by giving Mrs Archer multiple swift punches by flying into her from all directions. Suddenly, Mrs Archer manages to grab hold of Diana & throw her straight into the ground. She then proceeds to stepping on the Amazonian princess, she then rubs her foot against the ground when her foot is on top of Diana. With that, she walked away to continue her search for her husband. After a few seconds, Wonder Woman recovers & flies in front of Nancy.

Wonder Woman: Not one step forward.

Nancy: What must I do to put you down for good?

Nancy prepares to bring her right fist down towards Wonder Woman but the latter reacted quickly. She drew out her Lasso of Truth & loops it around the giantess' fist & starts to pull. However that only jerks Nancy forward a little. Mrs Archer tugs the rope in return & that sends Diana straight into a skyscraper which resulted in the building shattering into rubble. Wonder Woman came out from the debris with cuts but she turned out OK then she took off her boomerang tiara & hurled it towards Nancy. The boomerang tiara hit Nancy's head with a huge amount of force that it cracked her skull. That resulted in her falling to the ground. With its job done, the tiara returned to its owner's right hand. After putting her tiara back on, Wonder Woman turned her attention towards a policeman.

Wonder Woman: She's all yours officer.

KO!

Wonder Woman flew off to patrol her hometown from the skies while policemen put a barricade around the corpse of Nancy Archer & within the crowd staring at it, Henry puts on a wicked smile as he looks at his recently deceased wife, but Diana break his neck and call him "bastard".

Aftermath[]

Boomstick: Whoa! It's like how David slays Goliath, the only difference is both of them are gorgeous gals.

Wiz: Yes. While Nancy is larger & stronger than Wonder Woman, the latter has combat training, more combat experience, is faster and lets not forget that one of Wonder Woman's usual enemies; Giganta is similar to Nancy.

Boomstick: Looks like beauty didn't kill the beast but another beauty.

Wiz: The winner is Wonder Woman.

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