intro[]
Wiz: Most monsters have reason to act the way they did. But more often than not, it's always the misunderstood ones that are the deadliest.
Boomstick: Especially if they possess powers that make them nearly unmatchable.
Wiz: Like Mommy Long Legs, Playtime co's elastic spider.
Boomstick: And The Warden, Minecraft's most powerful mob from the Deep Dark. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to determine their weapons, armor and skill to find who would win. A DEATH BATTLE!
Mommy Long Legs[]
Boomstick: Playtime Co. A company that's known for bringing some of the best darn toys to the market. Their words not mine.
Wiz: Founded by Elliot Ludwig, he created Playtime Co's most popular toy to date based on his step-daughter. This was Poppy Playtime, a doll that could hold a conversation as if she was truly a real girl.
Boomstick: Well thanks wiz, I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.
Wiz: While Playtime Co is known for their toys...their workspace isn't quite what you think.
Boomstick: This included a sacrifice of a fellow worker for the company, Marie Payne. After some science, magic and whatever bullcrap you can think off, she was ready to hit the selves in 1991 as an elastic spider toy known as Mommy Long Legs. But for some reason they'd made a larger scale to the toy which was sentient, which attacked the others on sight, PAYBACK ASSHOLES!.
Wiz: Due to Mommy's nature, she was extremely aggressive to all the adults. Probably due to Marie's soul not understanding her new body and attacked in confusion and blind rage.
Boomstick: So Playtime Co set her up in the Game Station where her job was to look after kids, which somehow made her passive.
Wiz: Well...that didn't keep her down for long. As a toy, Mommy has superhuman strength, speed, agility and even survival skills.
Boomstick: She's a master at stealth, her senses are enhanced, her limbs can stretched to 20ft at most and just like a spider, she can climb walls and create webbing.
Wiz: Mommy's also got a large variety of sabotages. Which can shut down puzzles, Steal someone's GrabPack, mess with their vision and senses or just send them straight into a pit of crazy man-eating huggy wuggy dolls.
Boomstick: She's survived large falls, killed Bunzo and mini-Huggies, went 10 years without anything and even tore off the red hand off the GrabPack. Which can be used to pull large objects or take someone's head off with ease. Why wasn't that place sued into oblivion.
Wiz; You might think Mommy is a creature, but not even she is without failure. She doesn't show aggression around children, she's prone to psychological breakdowns and she can be reckless at times.
Boomstick: Man getting shredded must've really grinded her gears, right wiz?
Wiz: But even after all that, what remained of her corpse was taken by Experiment 1-0-0-6, AKA The Prototype. Perhaps Mommy will rise again once more.
Boomstick: And when she does, show her your children. Trust me, it'll definitely save you.
The Warden[]
Boomstick: Ahh, nothing like some good old Minecraft to really take the stress off people. If they're not building giant dicks, or setting villages on fire that is.
Wiz: However, Minecraft onced possess ancient builders, and eventually they found a unique block known as Skulk. Skulk is a block that can expand if it can absorb other souls of fallen nearby enemies.
Boomstick: And while the ancient miners lived in a large city, they had to co-exist with a giant monster made of skulks. The strongest mob in Minecraft history, The Warden.
Wiz: The Warden is a rare mob which only spawns in the Deep Dark biome...which the ancient's built their city over...whoops.
Boomstick: But how can The Warden attack if it's blinded?
Wiz: Simple. The ancient city has so much Skulk that it evolved to adapt to The Warden. Sound can trigger Skulk Sensors, which in turn activates Skulk Shriekers to attract The Warden. However, Any sound can activate any Skulk Sensor, which can also activate any Skulk Shrieker. But just because he's blind, doesn't mean he's a push-over
Boomstick: The Warden is so strong, he can killer a player with FULL Netherite armored in 2 punches, IN TWO...FRICKING PUNCHES!
Wiz: And for those who play with distance, He can cause a sonic boom out of his rib-cage that can pass through other blocks and special defences.
Boomstick: Basically The Warden is one of the more adaptable fighters Minecraft has, But he's not invincible.
Wiz: The Warden is by no means unkillable and it's VERY dependent on sounds to find prey, But that's gonna be quite the challenge.
Boomstick: The monster of skulk will continue to terrorize anyone stupid enough to enter the Deep Dark, And it's name is Warden.
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright and the compatents are set and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Pre-Fight[]
We start with a large monster chasing the crew cleaning up the factory. The 4 were running away from a screaming monster, soon to be revealed as Mommy Long Legs.
MLL: GET BACK HERE! YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ALIVE, HUMANS!.
TM1 (Team Member): WHAT THE FUCK IS HER PROBLEM?!
TM2: WHO CARES?! JUST KEEP RUNNING!
MLL: GET BACK YOU, YOU CHEATERS! MOMMY HATES CHEATERS!
Mommy had nearly gotten near the 2 running away. She had attempted to strike one of them down, but he managed to dodge just in time. The ground began to crack and shift, creating a hole that mommy fell down.
MLL: YOU CHEATERS! (causally echoing as she fell down)
TM1: Oh thank god. She's gone...hey, where do you think this hole goes down to? The second level?
TM2: Doubt it, look how deep it is. Doubt she'd survive the fall. Now come on, these parts aren't gonna collect themselves.
TM1: Right behind you!
In the Ancient City, a creature would be wandering around. As a thump was heard, the creature's horns glowed as it walked towards the source.
MLL: Those cheaters think they can get rid of Mommy that easily- ...What is that?
As Mommy kept talking, the skulk sensored keeped glowing, eventually activating the skulk shrieker. As the shrieker...shrieked, the ground beneath mommy started to move. The creature from before surfaced itself and faced Mommy. The Warden was not happy. As it roared at Mommy, she shrieked back. the 2 creatures charged at each other, ready to engage in battle.
FIGHT![]
Mommy had struck first, but the warden remained unmoved. Even as mommy continuously struck Warden, He wasn't moved by even an inch. To compensate for this, Mommy had climbed the walls to gain distance.
MLL: Ha, Try and beat me when i'm all the way up here!.
The Warden had turned into her direction and leaned forward. He was charging something but Mommy couldn't figure it out.
MLL: Ha, already admitting defeat.
The Warden had struck her with his sonic boom attack, Mommy tried to dodge it but failed. The result was her falling down into the city where the warden moved into her direction of sound. The Warden was moving closer and a stomp was heard every time his foot hit the ground. Mommy could do nothing but run away, but she was only activating more shriekers every time she ran through the city.
MLL: YOU CHEATER! MOMMY WON'T BE BEATEN BY CHEATERS!
Mommy was finally broken, she charged at Warden as he did her. The 2 finally met face to face as Mommy tried to hurt Warden. Stretching her limbs to their full range and using her maximum strength, she had attempted to finally end the fight. But, like most other times, Warden was not moved or hurt. The Warden had used his sonic boom once again, sending mommy against the walls of the ancient city. Mommy was defenseless as the Warden went in to finally end the fight.
MLL: YOU CHEATED! CHEATER CHEATER CHEATER!!!!
The Warden had lunged at Mommy and struck her with his full strength. Mommy's head exploded into a bloody mess as the Warden remained unmoored. Finally, the vibrations stopped and mommy had finally seen her demise.
The Warden had won...
Results[]
Boomstick: WOW, TALK ABOUT AN INSANE MATCHUP!
Wiz: This was a very difficult match to figure out, since both had plenty of advantages over each other.
Boomstick: With Mommy's superior speed and agility, she was more than capable of juking Warden. And her stretchy limbs and wall climbing could've easily have landed her the distance.
Wiz: Even with her superior survival skills in stealth, she was fairly outclassed by the Warden's own might.
Boomstick: The Warden was WAY tougher and stronger than Mommy. Sure Mommy could tear off something that could tear off a human head, but the Warden could effortlessly kill miners with full netherite armor.
Wiz: And Mommy's own strength wasn't quite enough to deal any damage to the warden.
Boomstick: Especially since the Warden had 500 health, any damage was very, very, very tiny and wouldn't have stopped the Warden for long.
Wiz: Even with Mommy being able to gain distance from Warden's close-ranged moves, his sonic boom was still superior.
Boomstick: And with it's ability to phase through walls, Mommy couldn't have hid from it. Sure Mommy might be fast, but she's no where near the speed of sound.
Wiz: Plus she couldn't have really snuck up on Warden since Mommy loves to talk, and Warden uses sound to catch prey. Meaning Mommy was basically digging her own grave.
Boomstick: But hang on a second wiz, what about all her sabotages. She could've easily have landed a killing blow and finished the fight, right?
Wiz: In some cases sure, but her sabotages were never exactly used to kill. They mostly relied on equipment and one of her own tricks can alter someone's sight. And again, the Warden had no sight to begin with. Meaning most of her sabotages wouldn't have exactly been as effective and were ultimately dead-weight.
Boomstick: Meaning that eventually, Mommy couldn't have escaped the Warden, even if she tried.
Wiz: Both Mommy Long Legs and the Warden are some of the most dangerous monsters in their own worlds. But ultimately, this match came down to who would land the killing blow first. Mommy Long Legs was certainly a unique opponent. But the Warden's might and adaptable abilities ensured Mommy's demise.
Boomstick: I wouldn't be playing around if i didn't say that any hope of Mommy winning was a bit of a stretch.
Wiz: Seriously Boomstick?
Boomstick: What's wrong with a double pun. Now hurry up, I wanna get paid so I can buy more beer.
Wiz: ugh, the winner is The Warden!
Advantage/Disadvantage of fighters[]
Mommy Long Legs:
+ superior speed and agility
+ could be able to climb walls
- lacked in close-ranged combat.
- had no way to counter the sonic boom
- sabotages were useless
Warden:
+ superior strength (obviously)
+ Superior durability
+ Sonic boom took care of any long-ranged attacks
+ Adaptable in both close-ranged and long-ranged combat
- Blind.