| Nobody's Hero | |
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| Season | N/A |
| Overall Episode | N/A |
| Season Episode | N/A |
| Air date | 6/19/2024 |
| Written by | BigShark81913 |
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Misogi Kumagawa vs Mr. Nobody is a What-If? Death Battle written by BigShark81913, featuring Misogi Kumagawa from Medaka Box and Mr. Nobody from DC’s Doom Patrol.
Description[]
Medaka Box vs Doom Patrol! Losers, dweebs, failures, these two go by many names. But when these nihilistic, pathetic powerhouses collide, who will truly be the loser in a DEATH BATTLE!?
Interlude[]
Wiz: In the modern day, some members of our society believe that nothing matters. Nihilism, we call it.
Boomstick: And some nihilists are pretty pathetic, like these two reality warping losers! Misogi Kumagawa, the Good Loser.
Wiz: And Mr. Nobody, the leader of the Brotherhood of Dada.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!
Misogi Kumagawa really despised DEATH BATTLE![]
Boomstick: Welcome to Hakoniwa General Hospital, where kids are brought in to be tested on to see if they have any cool abilities, or in this world, called Abnormalities.
Wiz: Here we meet a cynical young boy named Misogi Kumagawa. Uninterested about everything, he told another child named Medaka that people are born for no reason and there was overall no point in being alive. He was then brought in to Dr. Hitomi Hitoyoshi for his Abnormality check.
Boomstick: The cheeky little bastard didn’t want to worry his parents by having an Abnormality, so he tried to bribe the doctor by offering more information on Abnormals, and eventually had her mark him down as normal when he deadass threatened her son! And he’s just a kid at this point!
Wiz: Let’s fast forward a couple years now. Misogi, now a middle school student, carried his negative outlook on life into his future.
Boomstick: And he had also developed an even bigger hate boner for Medaka Kurokami! Y’know, the girl he shared his cynical beliefs to at the pediatrician?
Wiz: So, to get rid of Medaka, Kumagawa began to manipulate fellow student Kouki Akune, but that plan blew up in his face and landed him in a fight with Medaka herself, where he… got absolutely washed.
Boomstick: So, Kumagawa left the school in shame, but not before falling head over heels for his vice president, Ajimu Najimi. However, a quick rip of the face and his goals were immediately changed. Misogi’s new goal was to find somebody who could beat the shit out of Ajimu, and he gained a pretty awesome power called All Fiction to do so.
Wiz: All Fiction can be summarized by one word: “erase.” With this ability, Kumagawa can erase anybody, anything, anywhere from existence by using All Fiction.
Boomstick: He’s done this before by erasing the concept of colors from his own universe like a fucked up whiteout!
Wiz: Kumagawa can also reverse his own attacks, reverse his own death, and set a timer to bring anything he had previously erased back in three minutes.
Boomstick: He also wields a secondary ability called “Book Maker,” which allows him to drag his opponents down to his level, including strength, speed, intelligence, and whatnot. Hopefully you don’t get his loser status. Uggghhh…
Wiz: Misogi’s main form of attack is throwing Philips head screws of ranging sizes. He can summon them anywhere no matter which of his powers he is using, and he can throw multiple at a time.
Popup: Said screws can shatter concrete walls and impale anybody unfortunate enough to get hit.
Boomstick: Kumagawa is also so pitiful and disappointing, that even looking at him can crush the hearts of people due to sadness… both literally and metaphorically! Life must really suck for him.
Wiz: By using merely his negative mentality, Misogi can create a powerful sword that can, as he said exactly, “kill magical beasts.”
Boomstick: Due to being the “weakest” guy in the world, Kumagawa knows everything about the human body like a little pervert! Which I guess is true, given he’s aroused by aprons…
Popup: Boomstick is actually correct.
Wiz: With his anatomical expertise, Misogi knows every single weakness, which allows him to shove screws up weak spots to easily defeat his opponent.
Boomstick: He can also erase his aura with All Fiction, making it nearly impossible for foes to sense his presence, making him pretty good at sneaking around.
Wiz: He has an attack titled “Leg-Eating Forest,” where he covers the battlefield with his Philips head screws, forcing his opponent to balance on said screws. If they slip and fall, they’ll be severely damaged, and have Book Maker’s effects thrust upon them.
Boomstick: Although he calls himself a loser, Kumagawa’s done some pretty badass things, like use All Fiction to negate any of Zenkichi’s kicks, destroying any damage received by these flinging feet. He can also erase time, memories, concepts, laws, powers, and temperatures by using his Minus!
Wiz: Misogi has survived multiple crazy attacks, like getting stabbed, obliterated, shot, drenched in acid, crushed, and worse, like being crushed by Kuudou’s stone walls and taking irreversible damage from Iihiko.
Boomstick: When it comes to strength, Kumagawa beat the absolute shit out of thirteen of the school’s strongest students, including Myouri Unzen who could smash a massive hole into a wall with a single punch! Plus, All Fiction was said to be capable of erasing the world if he wasn’t careful enough with it. He could also fight against Medaka, who created an entire universe!
Popup: As we said before, Kumagawa can manipulate things on a cosmic range, as seen when he messed with the colors in the universe.
Wiz: Misogi is also fast enough to outspeed Medaka’s Phantom, which makes her move at light speed. Though, his attacks have almost infinite range and speed, given that he can erase time itself with All Fiction.
Boomstick: Physical stats aside, Kumagawa’s pretty brainy too. He’s been able to easily win memory games while teeming with diseases, broken out of being locked inside a card, and he’s also won multiple elections for student council against the likes of Medaka and fellow student Zenkichi!
Popup: Plus, he could also somehow make ice hot.
Wiz: With All Fiction, he could also seal Ajimu Najimi away for three years, and although he had All Fiction taken away when Ajimu was brought back, Misogi managed to gain it back after being killed by Munakata.
Boomstick: Though, you could probably guess from being called the Good Loser, Kumagawa is flawed. As we’ve said before, he is incredibly under-confident, doubting himself every step of the way. Hell, he deep down believes that he will never win anything. Plus, he can be heavily incapacitated by infinite death loops, but who wouldn’t?
Wiz: While his twisted worldview leads him to believe he is pathetic and useless, Kumagawa is still a force to be reckoned with due to his immense erasure abilities and mind-bending reality warping.
Kumagawa: “The world is meaningless. Humans are born with no purpose, live for no reason and die for nothing. Because this world is pointless and our lives are aimless.”
Mr. Nobody doesn’t speak fascist in DEATH BATTLE![]
Wiz: In the DC universe, the world is filled with dastardly criminals willing to do anything to get rich fast. Some criminals will even gain superpowers, which is bad news for all of us.
Boomstick: Let’s meet the “one man crime wave,” Eric Morden: your typical good-for-nothing swindler who wants to make a name for himself. However, he had a much larger goal in mind. Morden wanted to join the Brotherhood of Evil and become the Brain’s lapdog!
Wiz: To make sure the Brotherhood of Evil noticed him, Morden managed to steal a lunar exploration robot named Rog and run away with out. Unbeknownst to him, the robot was created by none other than Niles Caulder, the Chief.
Boomstick: And this wheelchair-bound wacko was also the founder of the Doom Patrol! So, he called his superpowered freak team over to poor Morden and they absolutely washed him! Eric then did what every caught criminal does, and fled to the deep jungles of Paraguay to start again as a recluse.
Wiz: Morden was met with a group of Nazi scientists, who decided to test their mysterious White Room on him. The White Room was a device that the Nazis believed was capable of untethering any living being from reality and making them nothing short of a god.
Boomstick: And guess what? It worked! Morden was driven so insane that he was transformed into an oddly-shaped weirdo who could drain sanity from humanity!
Wiz: And so, Morden rechristened himself as “the man of the twenty-first century” and took on a new name that would fill hearts and minds with insanity: Mr. Nobody.
Boomstick: Hah! Mr. Nobody? This guy has the power to drive anybody insane, and that’s the name he goes with?
Wiz: Well, Morden did also gain a worldview that centered around him being worthless.
Boomstick: …well, Nobody then managed to form the Brotherhood of Dada, a new cool kids club containing villains who shared his worldview. And, as team leader, he’s got some cool tricks up his… weird toothpick arm.
Wiz: Mr. Nobody’s main ability is to drain the sanity away from anybody, turning them into a deranged lunatic that he can manipulate into doing his bidding. He has much more than that, though. Morden has control over time itself, showing himself capable of stopping, looping, slowing down, and even traveling through time.
Boomstick: He can also create entire pocket dimensions, usually made inside of pretty trashy paintings that he can trap people inside.
Popup: Speaking of paintings, Morden has used a painting called The Painting That Ate Paris to, well, eat the entirety of Paris.
Wiz: He can also make two people fall in love with each other, create portals to anywhere, manipulate matter itself, and even play with the biology of others, as seen when he made the Chief vomit every time he said “Mr. Nobody.”
Boomstick: Morden can also summon and warp anything to help him with his plans, like cereal, cellphones, cigars, and even a drug-filled bicycle that he used to escape one of his own painting dimensions collapsing on him!
Wiz: After escaping his failed attempt at feeding the world to his paintings, Mr. Nobody came up with another plan to show the human race life’s true absurdity. Morden used his social influencing skills and a little bit of bribery to boost his brand new presidential campaign.
Boomstick: And this campaign was another coverup for feeding the world to his mighty Painting That Ate Paris! He gained the support of the people, and began to merge the two celestial bodies to create his ideal, chaotic world. Until…
Wiz: A secret agent no more sane than Mr. Nobody named John Dandy was brought into play, and he managed to transform Nobody back into Eric Morden and stab him with a wooden plank. It was too late, and the merging of the painting and Earth was undone, fading Morden away into nothingness.
Boomstick: But he’s not staying dead! Morden managed to be resurrected in a tarot card incident, and changed his name into a not much more threatening one: “Mr. Somebody.”
Wiz: Morden’s abilities still stayed the same, however, including his immense fourth-wall breaking abilities. He can pop out of comic panels, and even take control of the entire streaming network Doom Patrol was aired on.
Boomstick: His zany fourth-wall breaks get so crazy to the point where he can actually manipulate the plot itself by changing the entire story by delivering his own narration!
Wiz: Morden’s insane abilities have landed him as one of the most threatening villains in DC history, despite how lowly he thinks of himself. During his constant meddling with the Doom Patrol, he has done some pretty impressive stuff. He’s fought on par with Flex Mentallo, who managed to save all of reality by… inflating everybody and overpower the Retcon Corporation’s failsafe.
Popup: For reference, the Retcon Corporation’s failsafe was set in motion to reset the entire Overvoid, which includes everything in the infinite DC multiverse.
Boomstick: Morden could also easily reduce Danny the Street to Danny the Brick, who could tear entire holes in the Overvoid and effect every single universe in the multiverse at once by doing so. For somebody called nobody, this stuff is pretty impressive.
Wiz: He can also fight against and even overpower Rita Farr, who was capable of expanding to the point she became an omnipresent being that was present everywhere that ever existed.
Boomstick: …boy, next time you see some Nazi scientists, tell them they’ve got a brand new subject to turn into a reality warping god.
Wiz: Although he is very powerful, Mr. Nobody does have faults as seen in his… poor name choice. For one, he is extremely doubtful of himself, believing that he is worthless and that nothing he does will truly matter in the grand scheme of things.
Boomstick: He’s also super insecure, and his illusions can be broken by strong willed folks like Robotman, Crazy Jane, and basically the entire Doom Patrol. Mind trickery won’t work on a bunch of freaks who have experienced enough weirdness in their lifetime!
Wiz: While he acts very pitiful and insecure, Mr. Nobody possesses rare abilities that make him one of the most formidable foes the Doom Patrol- heck, the entire DC multiverse, has ever had to face.
Mr. Nobody: “Are we not proof that the universe is a drooling idiot with no fashion sense?”
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! We've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
DEATH BATTLE![]
The sun was shining over Hakoniwa Academy, promising a fairly normal day ahead. Students wandered around, unaware of the events about to transpire.
In the middle of the nearby woods, a lone painting was lying on the grass. It had a mysterious complexion resembling an infinite loop, and it delivered a vibe that it wasn’t supposed to be there. The painting began to rapidly shake, before a huge beam of light erupted from the center and drenched the skies! A mysterious being followed, and began to levitate around. The figure was a thin, black organism with split body parts and a hook shaped head. He cracked his back, and began to laugh. This was Mr. Nobody, the servant of the Euonymus.
“A few years in that stupid painting. Let’s hope that I’m not too- huh? Where am I?” The mysterious being looked around, and noticed the massive academy in front of him, teeming with students. “Ooh, interesting.” Morden snickered, rubbing his hands together in a very cliché manner.
The supervillain teleported instantly to the school grounds, shocking the students that were passing by. However, they all shrugged it off, like crazier things had happened there or they were just plain used to it. “Horrible fashion sense.” the figure muttered under his breath, and he began to examine the area. “Well, this whole place is drab! Let’s let the dogs of absurdity run loose!”
With a quick snap of his fingers, Morden managed to change the sky into a pattern of multiple colors. He let out an unhinged array of laughter as he began to transform surrounding objects by merely snapping. From a distance, another student observed what was happening. He had messy black hair and was wearing the traditional uniform of Suisou Academy. In his right hand, a small screw circled around above the palm of his hand. This was Misogi Kumagawa, the Good Loser.
Another snap from Nobody’s hand transformed the bench Kumagawa was observing from into an angry cow that shook the student off and ran into the distance. The small screw caught Morden’s attention, and he teleported right in front of the injured Kumagawa. “What’s that thing?” Nobody asked, wanting to affect the strange screw with his absurdity.
Kumagawa stood back up, and grinned towards Morden. “It’s not like a ‘high and mighty’ invader like you needs anything from a nobody like me.” He dusted himself off, and began to laugh under his breath. Annoyed, Morden responded. “I think I’ll have the right to take your powers. A simple nobody like you compared to the patron saint of insignificance. I’m below you on this scale, after all.”
Kumagawa’s face didn’t change at all, and Morden lifted a up chunk of ground and slammed it on top of his foe, splattering the ground with blood. The supervillain snickered, and he turned around, only to see Kumagawa standing perfectly unscathed right in front of him. “Careful where you move things.” the student mocked, his face turning completely black and revealing a big white smile. Mr. Nobody cracked his neck, and he pointed his finger towards Misogi. “Let’s get groovy.”
FIGHT![]
(Cue: Attack-A of the Whacka!)
Before he could react, Misogi was shot in the chest by a bullet shot from Morden’s fingertip. The Good Loser stood unfazed, and he retaliated by throwing a screw that impaled Nobody’s face. In a goofy manner, the servant of the Euonymus plucked the screw from his face and crushed it in his fist. “A game of darts, I see.” he laughed.
Morden opened the palm of his hand, and the screw was warped into a bomb with a lit fuse. He spun his arm around, and like a catapult, launched it towards Kumagawa. Misogi chuckled, and screws began to emerge from the bomb, throwing it far behind him and exploding it. “Don’t waste your time.” Kumagawa said, but Nobody had already disappeared. He looked around to find his foe.
“Peekaboo!” Morden laughed, tackling Misogi out of a portal and dragging him down the other wormhole. The Good Loser was shoved high into the skies, and Morden watched as his opponent plummeted. However, a screw shoved Nobody through the portal, and dropped him from the sky too. “Well, if we both fall, we both lose. Figures!” Kumagawa chuckled. An array of screws appeared in front of Morden, and Misogi’s face turned completely black barring a creepy white smile. “But I’d prefer you lose first.”
Before the screws could impale him, the ex-crook’s jumbled body split into multiple pieces and glided through the nails. “Oh, my dear enemy, you don’t understand. While I am fated to lose, absurdity will still remain!” Morden rambled, creating a comically large anvil above Misogi. The boy looked up, and the heavy iron tool dropped him to the ground and smashed him into a fine paste. To Morden’s surprise, the anvil began to slowly fade away, as if it were erased from existence. Without a scratch on him, Kumagawa arose, and he pointed his finger towards Mr. Nobody. A nail ripped straight through his chest, and he was dragged down towards the student.
“Screw you.” Misogi joked, as Morden was torn into thousands of pieces by the screws imbedded in his chest. The pieces began to reattach, and Mr. Nobody rocketed towards the ground and created a crater with his fist. Kumagawa was flung upwards, but he managed to toss a few screws towards Morden. The ex-crook caught the strange weapons, and with a quick snap, the screws were given… life.
Kumagawa watched in confusion as the two sentient screws began to smooch. “The gift of love,” said Eric, “It’s beautiful! And you know what comes next, don’t you? The birds and the bees-“
A screw ripped out of Morden’s chest, and he was thrown to the side. The screws, however, had reproduced, and a field of Morden’s baby screws began to fling towards Misogi! They ripped and tore through his chest, but he managed to regain control of the screws and wipe away their absurd sentience.
Morden quickly flew out of a portal placed behind Kumagawa. Time seemed to slow down, and a magical sword formed in the student’s hand. He slashed upwards, and Mr. Nobody was stabbed in the chest. “Even if I kill you now, I’ll be stained with blood and heavily damaged. In the end, I lose!.” Kumagawa said, shoving the blade deeper up Morden’s chest. The ex-crook violently headbutted the Good Loser, swinging him backwards and pulling the sword out of his body. “Don’t you see?” Morden replied, “We all have no purpose! That’s why I need to stay and teach that to everybody?”
The patron saint of insignificance grabbed Misogi by the neck and dragged him across the ground at blinding speeds. Now drenched with blood, he created a grenade, pulling the pin, and shoved it down the dying Kumagawa’s mouth before throwing him towards the clock tower. In an instant, the Good Loser exploded into a fiery ball of confetti, spewing his blood everywhere. Morden chuckled, until a field of screws impaled his back like a pincushion. Misogi dragged him down from the skies, and with a flick of the wrist, Morden was wiped from existence…
…until he walked behind Kumagawa again, holding a glass of wine. Confused, Kumagawa tried to speak, but Mr. Nobody already answered. “Eh, it’s happened before.” The ex-crook poured the wine on the Good Loser before kicking him away.
Misogi caught himself, and noticed the destroyed clock tower falling from the skies. A hole suddenly burst from the walls of the tower, and Mr. Nobody rocketed out, with a glimmering sword in his hands. The Good Loser recreated his beast-slaying sword and replied, “The tower’s been destroyed! It’s not my fault!” Morden pressed his sword down harder, and split his foe’s blade in half, disintegrating it. “What a fabulous display of weakness!”
Morden lifted his hands, and two massive stones ripped from the ground, before enclosing on Kumagawa and smashing him. The rocks crumbled and, no longer to Mr. Nobody’s surprise, Misogi managed to survive without a scratch. “Through all of this, a Minus like me will always lau-“
Misogi was interrupted mid-sentence by a flood of vomit. His eyes widened, and he wiped his mouth, looking towards Morden. “Oh, yeah. I played with your genes a bit, so it’d be desirable if you avoided the word ‘laugh.’” Kumagawa tossed more screws towards his opponent, and they all struck him and pushed him backwards. However, it was too late for Morden, and the broken clock tower flattened him on the ground. This did nothing to him, and he quickly stretched out from under the rubble, before using a single finger to put the clock tower back in place. Somewhat annoyed but still keeping his cool, Misogi tossed another screw at Mr. Nobody, but the elusive ex-crook snapped his fingers seconds before being hit.
The hands of the clock began to slow down, and time itself was stopped, freezing Kumagawa’s screw. “Let’s bring this all back to the beginning.” the archangel of insignificance chuckled, before snapping again, causing time to move in reverse and leading him back to the start of the destructive battle.
…
Kumagawa stood back up, and grinned towards Morden. “It’s not like a high and mighty inva-“
Past Kumagawa exploded into bloody chunks as Morden was teleported where he was standing. The version of him from the present was dragged back in time, however, and he covered almost every single spot of Mr. Nobody’s body with screws. He then recreated his magical sword, and sliced off Morden’s head, popping it off like a cork. “How unfortunate.”
The decapitated head sprung back onto Morden’s shoulders, and he formed a revolver in his hand. Pressing his finger on the trigger, the ex-crook fired multiple shots at Misogi, who managed to redirect them all with a screw he proceeded to fling towards his foe. Mr. Nobody grabbed the screw and began to mold it like clay, forming it into another revolver that doubled his firepower. “Nada! You’ll be the one lying in unfortunate-ness!”
BANG!
The shots were fired, and Kumagawa casually deflected them while more screws impaled Morden all over his body. “Let’s take another look in the hourglass, shall we?” Mr. Nobody laughed, preparing to snap his fingers again. Misogi was quick to the draw, and he used All Fiction to slowly wipe the reality warper from existence, but before his arm was completely erased, the fingers of his glove moved together and created a flash of light. Time began to move backwards again, but Kumagawa stood unfazed as he was thrust far into some unknown past.
…
The two landed right when the clock tower was falling, and Morden laughed before snapping again. However, he forgot to account for Kumagawa’s presence, and they were both sent back in time again. The tower smashed to the ground, breaking into large chunks.
…
Weeks before the fight, Misogi sat on a bench, reading a new issue of Shonen Jump. As soon as he turned the page, he noticed a portal, and before he could react, Mr. Nobody and the same Kumagawa from the past launched through, tearing through the Born Loser’s head and tumbling into another portal.
…
The two landed right in the present, where the clock tower was reduced to rubble and screws were scattered across the campus. Before he could snap, Morden was thrown aback when a screw tore through his chest, and multiple followed and pinned him to the ground.
“Maybe I’ll finally win this time, and it’ll be against a minor character!” Kumagawa laughed, and laughed, and laughed… until he looked down and noticed Morden’s heart wasn’t breaking.
The archangel of insignificance plucked the screws out like feathers, and flung them to the side, as Kumagawa noticed there was a heart-shaped hole in his chest. “I’m getting tired of this eternal stalemate. Why don’t we bring this brawl to my turf?” Mr. Nobody snapped his fingers again, and they were transported somewhere far away from Hakoniwa.
…
Misogi opened his eyes, and he examined a brightly lit room. “Interesting.” he said, taking a look around before spotting a large sign. “Comic Con?”
“Ohhh, greetings!” a laugh echoed in the distance. Morden stood on a stage, dressed in spandex with a large S plastered on the front. “Welcome to the wonderful world of western media, you pimple!” The crowd standing in front of the stage turned around, and they were all revealed to be clones of Mr. Nobody wearing iconic superhero costumes. “Charge, my despicable fanboys!”
Misogi dug his foot into the ground, and he began to hurl his screws left and right, impaling multiple Mordens and breaking the odd merchandise scattered across the dweebfest. Watching his army get impaled by the screws, Mr. Nobody made a painting pop out of thin air that managed to suck every one of his clones inside of it. He collapsed the painting into his hammerspace, and created a rapier, before soaring towards Kumagawa, who countered by recreating the magical sword. The student grinned as they collided. “Watch your legs.”
The ground began to crack as Misogi activated Leg-Eating Forest. Morden, however, was too late to stand on the screw, and Book Maker was induced on him. “I feel… weak. Weaker than usual.”
Kumagawa’s nails ripped from the ground and impaled Morden in the chest, dripping no blood from his celestial body. Before he could be erased again, however, the ex-crook reformed the painting and tossed it in the air, erupting a flood of the sealed Mr. Nobody clones! One of them grabbed the hand of the original Morden, and pulled him out of the spikes.
Misogi was… absolutely confused. “He seems to draw power from those paintings. What if I were to erase them?” The Good Loser’s strand of thought was broken when the original Morden broke through the pile of bumbling fanboy clones and delivered a punch to his face. He used the rapier to stab Kumagawa in the chest, and flung him to the side. The weakened student looked up, and the comic con pocket dimension was destroyed by the size of the ever-growing horde, flinging everything throughout the timestream.
“Now, witness true absurdity!” Morden shouted, his voice echoing throughout space. Kumagawa chuckled, coughing up blood, as his foe looked to his side and saw the painting was erased. “T-the painting has vanished! Been wiped off reality like poorly-drawn sketches on a chalkboard!” Morden yelled, as he stood back, noticing that the pile they were standing on was flying into the portal he created to bring them between time. “Correct,” Kumagawa responded, “that single painting has been erased from every timeline, meaning that everything it has consumed, including that odd French city, will be released from the prison.” The Good Loser let out a malicious laugh, before noticing they were going through an unknown timestream.
…
Kumagawa’s eyes opened as he noticed he was lying on the ground. The Good Loser pushed himself up, and looked around. No sign of the strangely-shaped visitor. He must’ve been lost in his own time portal, thrown deep into an inescapable loop of time travel. In fact, he was sent to a moment weeks before Mr. Nobody even arrived in Hakoniwa, rendering him and the rest of the school free from his absurd antics…
Or so he thought. The beautiful sounds of a French accordion echoed throughout the vast skies.
In a flash, the skies ripped open, and the entirety of Paris fell downwards towards Hakoniwa Academy! An orange convertible followed suit, and Mr. Nobody slammed the brakes, laughing as he watched the chaos occur from his car in the skies. “Every good show needs some filler episodes! That’s precisely why I distracted you with that collection of lowlife geeks!” Morden cackled, as he pointed a finger at the Eiffel Tower. Rocket thrusters appeared at the bottom, and the monument was hurtled towards the Born Loser like a dart! He attempted to dodge it, but alas, the steel pole ripped through his chest and dragged him across the ground.
“Nice shot,” Kumagawa mocked, “but maybe next time aim for the head.” He barely flinched, and the Eiffel Tower was erased from existence, freeing him and flinging the rocket thrusters to the skies. The battle-ready Mr. Nobody slammed his foot onto the gas pedal, and his convertible drove through a portal he formed. It reappeared, and rammed into Misogi, spewing his blood into the air and throwing him to the side. Morden leaped through the top and aimed a finger gun towards Kumagawa as his car exploded into confetti behind him. “Oh, my ludicrous friend, look at you! Lying on the ground, helpless!”
Morden laughed, until a Parisian car fell from the skies and crushed him. Misogi stood up, chuckled, and dusted his uniform. He wasn’t out of danger, however, as the City of Love still descended upon Hakoniwa.
He began to slowly erase it to protect himself from danger, but he noticed that he couldn’t do so. Somewhat frustrated, he tried and tried over and over again, to no avail.
“Well, I’ve lost again. The city is descending on everybody, and that includes me. The world is truly meaningless.” Misogi laughed, as he merely stared into the skies.
The city stopped midair.
“Oh, boohoo! Three cheers for the outstanding crying act of the born Pagliacci!” Morden’s voice filled the skies. He popped out from under the car, and by clenching his fist, Paris began to crunch into a giant ball. Kumagawa stared at Mr. Nobody for a bit, and analyzed his weak points while thinking to himself. “That hole on his chest… maybe a good stab there will be enough to strike him down for good.”
Misogi formed the magical blade in his hand again and jabbed at Morden, who was focusing on crushing the city. He swatted each stab away with his hand, except for one, which impaled him straight in the heart-shaped hole and flung him backwards. Despite Kumagawa’s efforts, the archangel of insignificance finished crushing the ball and dropped it downwards towards Hakoniwa. The Born Loser looked at the clock, and an idea formed in his head.
Morden tried plucking the sword out of his chest, and to his surprise, it was erased by Kumagawa. “That blade was filthy! Swordsmen lack any fashion sense. But you! You have no sense of the perfection of absurdity whatsoever! I’m wasting your time!”
He finished his sentence by revealing a comically large blunderbuss, firing a spiraling flare that burned a hole in Kumagawa’s uniform and tossed him backwards. “Now, let’s head back to the future, shall we?” Morden said in a collected manner, snapping his fingers again and slowly began warping time itself. Misogi kept his eyes on the clock tower, and smiled.
Morden cackled as he lit a cigar and watched as time was accelerating at his command. The clock struck three minutes in, however, and the magical blade reappeared, ripping through Mr. Nobody’s chest and cutting his time warp short! His child-like squeal filled the air, and Kumagawa took advantage of his weakness by throwing more screws into each joint of his odd body. The archangel of insignificance, still dazed, managed to pluck the sword out of his chest and swing it around like a drunk man.
“Maybe take a few lessons with that blade,” Misogi mocked, “before you swing it around!” He dematerialized the blade, but Morden continued to swat at him with no weapon in hand. In a nimble manner, Kumagawa dodged each blow and with merely a thought, the screws dug deeper into Mr. Nobody’s body and split him into multiple pieces.
“How degrading! Being split into a jigsaw puzzle, mere playthings for the average child!” Morden ranted, his head hopping up and down to traverse the ground. With his oddly-shaped forehead, he scooped up his arm, and used it to bring the giant former-France ball closer to the doomed Academy. He snapped back into place, and grabbed another glass of wine.
BOOOOOM!!!
The entirety of Hakoniwa Academy and France were engulfed in a massive explosion! With absolutely no reaction, Kumagawa stared at the destruction of his current home. “Well, even as Student Council President, it wasn’t my fault!”
Bolting towards his foe, Morden grabbed a box of his delicious, nutritious, Nobody-brand cereal from his personal hammerspace and slammed it onto Misogi’s face, with no further explanation.
Misogi pulled the box off his face, and noticed the environment had completely changed. He was now deep in a mysterious forest, with an overall creepy environment.
Bats flew from the shadows of the woods as a booming voice echoed across the area. “Bravo! You’ve made it to the deep, empty forests of the unkempt armpit that is the human mind.” Misogi looked around, and began to pick apart the area in his mind. “This jungle seems artificial. It’s most likely a cheap illusion-“
His thoughts were interrupted by a quaking headache, as he noticed he wasn’t alone in his own mind. “By the way, I can enter your mind when you’re here. You might want to duck.”
Kumagawa shifted to the side as he managed to avoid an arrow that got stuck in a tree behind him. He turned his head, and emerging from the woods was a pack of wolves, each with Mr. Nobody’s head, mounted by a group of ruthless archers… who were also identical to Mr. Nobody.
The wolves charged, and Kumagawa stood still. In an instant, more needles ripped from the ground, and impaled the Nobody-headed animals, dropping the hunters to the ground.
Just before Kumagawa could erase the hunters, the Nobody wolves began to shake, and break apart into multiple, tiny wolf creatures! Kumagawa scratched his chin as he studied the area. “These beasts have some sort of magical value. I have the perfect weapon for this!”
Misogi reeled back, and summoned his blade. With a grin, he dashed towards the miniscule creatures and sliced them in two while fending off the Nobody hunters with his screws. An arrow ripped through his chest, but he merely ripped it out and threw it back, impaling a hunter in the face. Then, he began to erase them. “This should get rid of him for good.”
“I think NADA!”
Kumagawa looked up, and a massive glove loomed over his spot in the woods, grabbing him and swinging him up to the skies. Morden, now massive, began to squeeze on Kumagawa’s smaller body. His focus loosened due to his thoughts of victory, however, and Misogi took advantage of it by sending multiple screws through his arm and tightening them, ripping the arm of the archangel off and dropping the Born Loser to the ground.
Arms sprouted from the trees below and they grabbed Kumagawa by the neck, putting him in a chokehold above the ground. Without a second thought, the trees were erased, but Misogi fell to the ground and broke his leg. A loud buzz shook the trees, and before he could even ponder what it was, a swarm of bees (all with Mr. Nobody’s face, of course) burst from the woods, charging towards him!
Sharp pains filled Misogi’s body as he was pushed back by the swarm of silly insects. He opened his eyes and managed to conceptually erase one of them, therefore deleting all of them.
The trees all simultaneously burst into confetti at Mr. Nobody’s command. He raised his fist, which had grown back, and slammed it onto Kumagawa, spewing blood across the ground. “What a shame!” Morden said, lifting his fist off the ground and wiping it on his chest. Misogi’s corpse, however, twisted around and managed to snap every bone and joint back together, standing up in a pile of his own blood! “Ouch,” he joked.
Trying not to lose his cool, Morden lifted his foot and threw it downwards towards Misogi. The Good Loser held two screws in his hand and impaled the foot, struggling to hold it up and save himself. He began to think to himself again. “This is all just an illusion. If I concentrate hard enough, I can get to this… weirdo in the real world.”
Kumagawa closed his eyes and began to concentrate.
…
Back in the real world, Morden was sitting on a lawn chair, sipping a glass of red wine. “I should’ve just done this at the start!” he chortled in a strange manner.
However, his laughing ended when he began to feel a sharp pain in his chest. Before he could even think, a screw tore through his chest, breaking the illusion! “I-impossible!”
Misogi’s eyes exited the trance, and he smirked. “That illusion was the best you could do? Even I could perfectly map out an escape plan!” Frustrated, Mr. Nobody whisked away his glass of wine, and held his fingers in a snapping position. “Guess I’ll need to cancel my afternoon yoga class… I really thought this would end quicker.”
He snapped, and a field of assorted, typically useless objects peppered the skies and bulleted towards Misogi. He dug his foot back into the now-grassless ground, and began to shoot down each object with his own screws. The Good Loser narrowly dodged an ironing board, ducked under a unicycle, and avoided each wacky object until he noticed a charged toaster that he missed. Instantly, he tossed the screw, and it lodged into the slot of the toaster. “Fork in toaster! That’s not good for you.” Morden laughed.
Almost instantly, the toaster exploded, flinging Kumagawa upwards into the air. Morden bounded to the skies and revealed a large mallet, swinging it upwards and slamming it down onto the wounded Loser. They both descended to the ground, creating a crater with Kumagawa in the center.
Morden dusted himself, and he filled the crater with dirt, trapping Kumagawa underground. Laughing, he turned around, and instantly frowned as he noticed hundreds of screws in front of him. Kumagawa, who managed to quickly dig himself out, pointed his finger towards the screws. “Surprise!”
Somewhat disappointed, Morden raised his finger and created an array of his own weapons: a field of bombs. The weapons all charged towards each other, and the bombs were impaled by the screws and sent flying back towards Mr. Nobody! He blankly stared at Kumagawa. “This is probably on me.”
The bombs exploded, completely destroying Morden and leaving a larger crater in the rubble-filled ground! Misogi looked around, and noticed his world was completely empty, due to the Paris-Hakoniwa destruction. “I guess I lost in the end.” he said, smiling.
“The end?”
He looked up, and the ground burst. Two giant, black arms dug into the ground and pulled up an odd body. To his surprise… well, he wasn’t really surprised, Morden had returned, bigger than ever. “This all only ends when I wish to say so. Now, why don’t we move our location a bit? I need to get my stamp card punched just about everywhere.”
Mr. Nobody reached into his back, and pulled out a cue stick, aiming it down towards Kumagawa. With a quick hand movement, the stick pushed forward, and Misogi was flung into a portal created by Morden. The archangel of insignificance shrunk back to his normal size, and flew into the portal. In a flash, the wormhole disappeared.
…
Inside the deep, crime-filled alleys of a city, a lone dumpster stood in the rain. It began to shake, and the top popped off, shooting Morden into the skies! He landed onto the streets, and Misogi followed suit. “I’m in a dumpster! How fitting, for a loser like me…”
Mr. Nobody wasn’t paying any attention. He looked at the city in disgust; so bland, people living normal lives! At least, that’s what he thought.
Two cars zoomed past on the streets, with gunfire emerging from one vehicle. The taxi was thrown to the sides and it smashed into the side of a building, bursting into flames, as the other car drove into the distance.
Ignoring this, Misogi formed more screws in his hands and chucked them at Morden, who grabbed a trash can lid to deflect them. The ex-crook then punted the lid towards Kumagawa, who narrowly dodged it. The lid, however, didn’t stop moving, and it bounced across the alleyway and sliced Morden’s head clean off.
“Heads up,” Kumagawa joked. Mr. Nobody firmly grabbed his head and screwed it back on, before snapping his fingers again. The building behind him was lifted from the ground.
In the distance, the Driver tried to analyze how badly Travis’ car had been damaged. His attention was averted, however, when he noticed a building mysteriously floating in the air.
The building was crushed into a giant ball, and Morden dropped it to the ground. It began to roll, unstoppable, across the city, following Kumagawa. The Good Loser stopped in his tracks, and unsheathed his magical blade, instantly slicing the giant orb in half. However, as the two halves stood adjacent to each other, Morden clenched his fist. The orb reformed, smashing Kumagawa in the center and spilling his blood in the alleyway.
To the amaze of the people passing by, the orb was erased from existence, and Misogi stood up, unharmed. “That’s happened before!” he laughed.
Misogi was tackled by Morden, who was flying at high speeds. They slammed through multiple buildings, turning the entire city into a wet, sad, and desolate dust bowl. Mr. Nobody slammed his foot to the ground, stopping them both, and he held Kumagawa by the shirt. He tossed the Good Loser to the air, formed a baseball bat in his hands, and hit a home run, flinging Kumagawa deeper into the city.
Kumagawa landed in an alleyway, covered in bruises and blood, which quickly healed. He peeked out, and saw a screaming crowd, with a man firing into the air. Distracted, he didn’t notice Morden standing behind him, creating a piece of artwork on an easel. “Witness my new absurd painting! I call it ‘The Painting That Ate…’ nevermind.”
Mr. Nobody ripped the canvas off the easel and shoved Kumagawa into it, flinging the Good Loser into an inescapable void. He tossed the painting into the crowd, which in the center of the two drivers from earlier were fighting. The attention of the crowd somehow swapped from the accidental murder of a passerby to a curious painting. The two criminals, however, continued to throw hands on the ground.
The painting began to twist and shake. A cloud of smoke filled the scene, and the painting was destroyed, with Kumagawa standing in the center of the cloud. He smirked, and sent multiple screws towards his foe, somehow not hitting any of the crowd. They stuck into Morden’s chest, who was too confused as to how he escaped his masterpiece.
“Wha- nevermind. Let’s rewind a smidge.” Morden snapped, and time reversed about a minute. He grabbed Kumagawa by the head, and threw him into the crowd, where a rogue bullet struck him in the chest instead of splattering a random citizen. The crowd, instead of screaming, made absolutely zero noise.
Morden stuck his arm through the crowd, wielding a comically large pistol. His shots were fired, and Misogi managed to dodge them all, which led to the bullets striking members of the crowd and doing lots of damage. Kumagawa, who was distracted by the damage, was uppercut into the air by a boxing glove. The two outcasted weirdos pushed through the crowd, and Morden threw a flurry of jabs towards his foe. With a thought, Misogi erased the gloves, and Morden was left weaponless. “Do you see how many people were wounded back there? This proves my point. We live for no reason and die for nothing.”
“I’d say I agree, but I really hate you.” Mr. Nobody said, recreating his rapier and stabbing towards Kumagawa, who retaliated with his magical blade. Morden was stabbed in the chest, but despite being damaged, the archangel of insignificance lifted his hand and snapped, sending them both into the future.
Due to the time warp, they somehow ended up in a pristine, white building. Morden pulled Kumagawa’s magical blade out from his chest and snapped it over his leg, stabbing both sides of his foe’s chest with the shattered sword. Kumagawa erased the sword again, and he threw multiple screws straight towards Mr. Nobody. In a panic, Morden’s body split into multiple pieces, sending the screws right through him and sticking them in the wall like darts on a board. With a new plan in his mind, Morden pointed to the side of the building.
“Look! Over there!”
Somehow distracted by the foolish gesture, Kumagawa turned his head while Mr. Nobody sprinted to the elevator. One of the criminals from earlier, limped into the elevator, covered in blood, and was followed by a man in a trench coat. Misogi saw Morden in the elevator, and he walked in as well.
The elevator went upwards, as the whole crowd stood in awkward silence. Mr. Nobody turned to the man in the trench coat. “So, what do you do for a living? You seem… rather sketchy, due to your silly wardrobe.”
With a ding, the elevator opened, revealing a glowing portal created by Morden. The archangel of insignificance swung a punch that tossed Misogi into the portal, and he followed suit. As soon as the elevator door shut, the two mysterious men began to fight again.
…
The portal appeared over another crime-filled city, except this one was a bit more… 60s-ish. Kumagawa landed on the streets, as Morden followed suit, wielding another baseball bat. He slammed the bat on the ground, but completely missed as he noticed where they were.
“Ah! Gotham City, deep in the 60s! This is the one place you’ll find the Dark Knight is a bumbling cretin instead of his dark, broody self. Maybe he’ll be the one to investigate your death!”
Morden punctuated his sentence by throwing more explosives towards Misogi, each of them missing. They burst behind him, and he was thrown forwards, his neck landing straight into Morden’s grasp. Kumagawa formed a screw in his hand and sliced off Mr. Nobody’s arm, freeing him, and he ripped it off his neck. “Get a grip.” he mocked.
However, he was interrupted by another massive explosion behind him. The Good Loser turned around, and saw the roof of a jewelry store had been decimated by a bomb. “That’s where he must be.” Morden said, before reattaching his arm and slapping Kumagawa in the face. Right before he went flying into the store, Misogi managed to recreate his Leg-Eating Forest under Morden’s feet… who just happened to be floating.
Misogi smashed through the window, and landed in the middle of the expensive store. Bat-like boomerangs and webs flew left and right, dirtying the store even further. He looked to his right, and he barely flinched.
A giant bulldozer was carrying the patch of screws from the Leg-Eating Forest, with Morden at the wheel. The blade swung upwards, and the screws easily tore through the wall of the store, scattering the hazardous weakeners everywhere.
One of them struck Batman, and he writhed in pain on the floor. His opponent, a strange man with a web pattern on his spandex, dodged the screws with grace, before shooting webs towards the Dark Knight.
“Screw you! Screw you too! Screw this whole store!” Morden laughed, raising his hands to the air. However, a screw bounced across the store and struck him in the back of the bulldozer, inflicting the effects of Book Maker on him and throwing him out of the vehicle. Another rogue screw struck the gas pedal of the construction machine, activating the engine.
Misogi pinned Mr. Nobody to the ground with an extra surplus of screws. Morden watched as he was slowly erased, while trying to regain his former strength. “After years of losing, I can finally have the last la-“
Completely forgetting about the taboo placed on him earlier, Kumagawa puked again, as Morden watched while trying not to laugh. He wiped his mouth, still trying to look cool, and before he could kill Mr. Nobody for good, the bulldozer slammed into him and dragged him deeper into the jewelry store. Morden burst into laughter, but it was cut short when his leg was caught on the back wheel and was dragged away.
The bulldozer tore through the jewelry store and sent them both barreling through the Gotham City streets. Mr. Nobody pulled himself up from the wheel of the machine and stood on the top, where he noticed Kumagawa was standing, perfectly unharmed. “You fight like a child.” Misogi said, referring to Morden. “You throw your toys around and play god.”
“This all feels ironic coming from YOU!” Mr. Nobody said, aiming another comically large pistol towards Kumagawa. Before it fired, however, the concept of the gun was erased from all of existence.
Somewhere in Gotham, the weird foreign Spider-Man clutched his machine gun and aimed it towards Batman. Right before he pulled the trigger, it disappeared, and Batman arose and comedically tackled him.
Mr. Nobody, who was both too battle-ready and annoyed to think, created a shovel in his hand and swung it towards Misogi. The Born Loser dodged each slash and erased the shovel, leaving Morden weaponless again. So, the archangel began to think.
“Maybe I can distract him long enough to trap him in another painting. Let’s try to put some color in his life.”
With a snap, the skies were warped into an immense rainbow of multiple colors! “The absurdity is getting under your skin, isn’t it? Twitching and stretching your senses to the point of no return!”
Somehow, Morden had put Kumagawa into a daze. He managed to gather himself, and with a thought, erased the color in the skies, therefore erasing all color. Nobody stood, absolutely flabbergasted. “What?”
“You were using those colors to mess with me. So, to defend myself, I erased all color from reality.”
Misogi laughed, as he sent more screws towards Morden. The ex-crook grabbed each screw, and molded them all together in his hand to create a rocket launcher. “It’s not technically a gun!” he said, as he aimed it towards Kumagawa, and pulled the trigger. A missile emerged from the shaft, and before Misogi could react, he was struck in the chest and thrown forwards off the dozer.
The combination of the missile explosion and the bulldozer crashing completely annihilated the Wayne Enterprises building, smashing every window on impact and sending the company crashing down. Misogi walked out of the dust, and he charged towards Morden with two screws in hand.
Before he was attacked, Mr. Nobody created a flamethrower and spewed fire towards Kumagawa. With All Fiction, he managed to completely warp the temperature of the flame, and walk through it, before impaling Morden with more screws and erasing his flamethrower.
Morden’s arms and legs split off his body due to the damage from the screws. However, his hand was still intact, and he snapped again, opening another portal that engulfed the both of them. The building fell, and dust filled the lonely streets of Gotham.
…
(End music)
Welcome to the White Room.
Misogi looked around, amazed by the bleak, desperate energy radiating from the interdimensional chamber. He stared across the room, and saw Mr. Nobody, holding his arms in the air. “Those cameos were certainly tiring. But now, we’re locked in the White Room. A place where I reign supreme. My White Room.”
Lightning struck Mr. Nobody, and he was transformed back into Eric Morden. The disorganized criminal walked towards Kumagawa, who he believed to be powerless, while holding a knife in his hand. “Now, stay still. I want to make this quick.”
The room shook.
Morden looked around, as the pure white walls began to crumble into the void. Kumagawa’s face morphed into a sinister black smile, as he shrugged. “I guess I wasn’t powerless here, after all!” he joked, ticking Morden off. Furious, the criminal tried to stab the Born Loser, but almost instantly he was erased from existence. Kumagawa stood alone, in the void.
KO!
Boomstick: …Chad.
Wiz: That’s right, my braindead pimple. Eric Morden may have been quite the foe, but he was nothing more than a single drop of water in the ocean of reality.
Boomstick: …Chad.
Wiz: Nothing was really stopping Kumagawa from erasing Mr. Nobody forever with his…
*Wiz licks his finger, before turning the page of the Medaka Box manga.*
Wiz: All-Fiction abilities!
Boomstick: …Chad.
Wiz: Well, as we know, Misogi was really powerful. He could seal away beings like Ai… ah-jee-moe, however you say it. Plus, he could come back from being trapped inside of a card, similar to how Morden’s paintings worked!
Boomstick: …Chad.
Wiz: The true winner, no ifs, no buts, is Misogi Kumagawa.
Wiz: …enough of this facade! 50% Chad, fetch me the bicycle! This is my chance to finally win!
*Boomstick’s entire top half falls off, revealing a pair of legs wearing only underwear. It grabbed a strange bicycle, while Wiz cracked open the screen of the hosts’ room. He mounted the bike, and drove back into the void, dropping his flesh. It was a costume!*
Kumagawa stared into the distance. A blinding light filled the black emptiness of the void. He squinted his eyes, and noticed it was Morden, now with a white color on his body and a drug-filled bicycle spewing flowers left and right! He was no longer a nobody… he was now Mr. Somebody.
“Art for breakfast! Art for lunch! Art for afternoon porridge!”
Kumagawa closed his eyes, and chuckled. This was the fair fight he was looking for all these years! And by the looks of it, he was possibly going to be the winner. Screws appeared behind him, and they rocketed towards Somebody, but his cocaine bike persisted. Morden’s body began to stretch out, moving faster by the second.
One lucky screw popped the tire, but Mr. Somebody took his launch as an advantage. His size grew to massive proportions, and reaching out into the void, he grabbed the strings of time itself. He swung them down towards Kumagawa, who began to slowly erase the timestream itself. They collided, and the very walls of reality itself began to shake.
…
(End music)
Misogi Kumagawa stood in the waiting room of Hakoniwa General Hospital. He was informing another child, Medaka Kurokami, about his beliefs.
“People are born for no reason. They live unrelated and die worthlessly.” The boy dragged his stuffed animal to the door of a doctor’s office, ready for examination. “You think the same thing, right? Medaka-chan? There’s no point to being alive because there’s no goal in life.”
Misogi was caught off guard when he heard a response he hadn’t expected. “I wholeheartedly agree.”
He turned around for a second, and Medaka burst into a storm of confetti. The walls of Hakoniwa General Hospital split apart and shrunk into nothingness as the other random patients burst into confetti. Young Kumagawa looked up in horror, as two eyes peered down from the infinite white void. “You spent this whole time fighting a useless battle. You refused to hand over your powers to me, so what was my solution? Steal them from you at a defenseless age. See you in Hell.”
Kumagawa closed his eyes, and smirked, his inner thoughts filling the void. “Even after all my efforts… I truly wanted to win this battle. I wanted to know that I could beat people like you. But in the end, I always lose. Life is cruel, isn’t it?”
Kumagawa slowly faded away into nothingness, his powers being stolen as he vanished. In a few seconds, he was completely erased.
Mr. Somebody cracked his knuckles as the powers of All Fiction coursed through his body. “With these abilities, I can prove that a more absurd life, one without reason, fits reality. And I’ll start with you two, Wizard and Boomstick. See you soon.”
The screen cuts to static as Morden’s laughs echo.
Results[]
KO!
Boomstick: …
Wiz: …no quip?
Boomstick: …We’re doomed.
Wiz: Well, let’s just cut to the chase. This was a really strange match, to say the least, with lots of important factors to decide who would be permanently erased first.
Boomstick: You’d expect Kumagawa would be better at that stuff because that’s his whole gimmick? Well, Mr. Nobody can do the whole erasure and un-erasure stuff with Dada!
Wiz: The problem is, while Misogi could temporarily erase Morden’s creations, he would be able to bring them back, given that he could consistently bring his items back from being erased at a conceptual level by Empty Emily, one of Crazy Jane’s many personalities.
Boomstick: Speaking of being erased, even if Misogi used All Fiction to erase Mr. Nobody conceptually, it really wouldn’t be able to keep him down either because he randomly returned at his own will after being conceptually deleted by John Dandy.
Popup: While on the topic of John Dandy, if Mr. Nobody was tricked into becoming Eric Morden again and conceptually erased like John Dandy did, he would be able to easily return as either Mr. Nobody or Mr. Somebody.
Wiz: Book Maker also really didn’t have too much of an effect on Morden either, because he can also increase the power of his abilities using… well, his abilities.
Boomstick: Leg-Eating Forest also technically wouldn’t be able to catch up with Morden, because, y’know, he can fly?
Wiz: There was also a huge gap in the range of their abilities. While Misogi was an extremely powerful reality warper who could bend reality itself, he could only really do that to his own universe, while Mr. Nobody’s abilities are able to bend the entire multiverse.
Boomstick: That brings us to my least favorite part of these debates: cosmology! We know that Morden could absolutely wreck Danny the Street, who, as Danny the Brick, his weakest state, could break through the walls of the Overvoid, which contains the entirety of the reality of DC comics! That means Mr. Nobody could harm a being durable enough to effect all of the multiverse through sheer weight and strength alone!
Popup: The characters of DC and Medaka Box are both at similar ranges of power, but the problem is that the Overvoid itself is much higher than anything Medaka Box really has to offer.
Wiz: As outclassed as he seems, Kumagawa had few advantages. For instance, if Morden tried to permanently trap him inside one of his paintings, he could easily break out, as seen when he easily broke out of being sealed inside of a card.
Boomstick: Morden’s illusions also wouldn’t be able to last too long, because Kumagawa could nullify them with his Minus Mentality.
Wiz: Speaking of the Minus Mentality, that wouldn’t really be able to kill Mr. Nobody, since he has been able to resist Crazy Jane’s similar abilities.
Popup: Plus, you can really tell he has no heart to be crushed.
Boomstick: You could also take into account that, with his cool plot-bending powers, Mr. Nobody could kinda just… write Kumagawa out of being able to return from death, or go back in time and kill him before he even gained his abilities. Hell, he could technically just steal his powers with Dada if he weakened him enough… as we just saw!
Wiz: Kumagawa was a strangely powerful foe, but to put it briefly, Morden operated on a much higher scale for, well, practically everything.
Boomstick: To the surprise of nobody here, Misogi Kumagawa was really screwed over.
Wiz: The winner is Mr. Nobody.
Advantages and Disadvantages[]
- Misogi Kumagawa (Loser)
- + Could escape being trapped in a painting
- + Morden’s illusions wouldn’t effect him for too long
- - Couldn’t permanently erase Morden or his tools
- - Affected everything at a smaller range
- Mr. Nobody (Winner)
- + Could come back from being conceptually erased
- + Could manipulate the plot to his whims
- - Couldn’t trap Kumagawa in a painting
- - Wouldn’t be able to keep an illusion on Kumagawa
Trivia[]
- The connections between Kumagawa and Nobody are:
- Highly nihilistic, intelligent yet eccentric and reality warping antagonists, who's believe that nothing matters, having gotten so severe they aim to inflict their vision of it upon everybody, wishing to change society completely, and sincerely believing this is the just thing to do (Kumagawa wanting to rid humanity of the talented for complete equalization and Nobody aiming to remove all reason and understanding to show life's true absurdity).
- Even though they're both severely dehumanized by others and themselves, the two seem to derive enjoyment out of it, essentially basing their brand around how little they matter (Kumagawa being a pathetic loser and Nobody's worthlessness). Although highly powerful and surprisingly dangerous for what they appear, their weaponry often consists of everyday objects and tools, morphed to fit their plans (Kumagawa using all sorts of screws as weapons and Nobody using reality altering paintings, drug laced bicycles, and even weird ass cereal to accomplish his goals).
- While frequently propping themselves up to seem more eloquent or cool, this can flip on a dime, with them also having highly snarky insults prepared when need be, as well as being huge manipulators at times
- Although not overbearing, they're shown to have a sense of awareness of the medium they are in (Kumagawa reading volumes of Shounen Jump and occasionally referencing other animes and Nobody being disappointed his arc was being canceled by an impending Crisis event).
- Their levels of villainy often fluctuate, going from life wiping maniacs to just sorta weird and annoying pricks, being very on and off as antagonists.
- The two loosely serve highly powerful meta fictional beings, who view the rest of the world as cheap fiction, and are granted new powers by these figures (Ajimu and the Euonymus).
- But both don't go on their quests for nihilism unaided, creating groups of outcasts, though they're far more committed to their agenda than the others (Kumagawa's Student Council consisting of only Minuses and the Brotherhood of Dada consisting of other people as meaningless as Nobody is). In cahoots with the last connection, both tried to run for president, and were going to instate a multitude of completely illogical policies.
- They both serve as menaces to a group of
socially inept weirdosheroes whom they had a previous connection to in the past, though their impacts are admittedly very incomparable (Kumagawa traumatizing and severely questioning Medaka's ideology while Eric Morden was just like, a guy who stole the Chief's big robot lmao). - They have accidentally unleashed highly powerful entities from the aftermaths of events they were in (Kumagawa's redemption unsealing Ajimu and Nobody's painting plot causing the Fifth Horseman to reawaken) and have severely crippled a member of the heroes, though they eventually recovered (Kumagawa erasing Zenkichi's sight and Nobody reducing Danny the Street into Danny the Brick).
- Quite bad medical track records due to events in their backstories, which involve a failed attempt to fit them back into society (Kumagawa threatening a nurse's son over being examined and Nobody being driven crazy and later murdering Nazi doctors).
- Backtracking to power based connections, their reality warping has also been shown to hold similar properties, ridding things of substantiality and existence (All Fiction and Dada), they're also just, huge bitches to put down, frequently returning from death.
They have notable weird fetishes (Kumagawa having a fetish for aprons and Nobody being vaguely aroused by Japanese accents).
- There are two cameo battles in this battle.