"Disgusting perverts..."
Introduction[]
Yazo: Please don't tell me we're actually doing this.
Carl: Yes, yes we are.
Yazo: UGH!!!!!
Carl: Could be worse. Anyways, perverts are everywhere, sadly. They peep on women, make them feel uncomfortable.
Yazo: And sometimes they're "superheroes"
Carl: Like Minoru Mineta, also known as Grapejuice.
Yazo: And Kevin Moskowitz, the Deep. He's Carl and I'm Yazo.
Carl: And it's our job to analyze their armor, weapons, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle.
Minoru Mineta is Freshly Picked in Death Battle![]
Carl: Welcome to the world of My Hero Academia. In this world, 80% of the world's population have some form of super powers, from fire, to growing large proportions, and even super strength. But sometimes, a person's super power is just throwing purple sticky balls.
Yazo: Minoru Mineta is a student at UA High, somehow passing his entrance exam, despite his power being kinda useless against giant robots, unless you plan on making them trip until they die...oh wait, they're metal robots. Of course it wouldn't work! It makes sense that Mineta likely ran away from that skyscraper sized one...like every else did. If anything, he was the first one to book it.
Carl: Mineta's past is unknown. Makes sense considering he's more of a secondary character more then anything. Minoru's quirk (what the super-powers are called) is called Pop Off.
Yazo: HA! That name makes it to easy for me!
Carl:*sigh* Anyways, the power allows him to pluck off purple orbs on his head, resembling grapes. They can come off by grabbing and taking them off, sticking to anything that isn't himself.
Yazo: He can throw them, stick them to walls, or even climb/bounce off of them. Heck, they'll get better or worse depending on how Minoru is feeling.
Carl: Even All Might has trouble getting out of the sticky balls, y'know, the number one hero? The guy who change the weather with a single punch?
Yazo: But, uh, Mineta prefers using these powers for...personal reasons. Ok, ok, yeah, he's a pervert. Apparently, that's the reason he wants to become a hero, so girls will like him more. I want to throw up.
Carl: To be honest, you aren't alone, his entire class thinks that. Ok, maybe not the entire class, but definitely the females do. His quirk is surprisingly versatile, and he has several techniques and super moves. Like Grape Rush, where he throws the balls at high speed, usually trapping a foe. And Super Grape Rush is the same, just done in the air.
Yazo: Grape Buckler is where he makes the balls into one long line and uses it as a sticky whip. Oh, there's also another name for it, although Carl has threatened me at gunpoint not to say it, so Google it if you dare.
Carl: His final supermove is called Vineyard, where he uses his balls as a snare, catching an opponent (hopefully) off guard. Though a smart enough enemy could possibly predict it.
Yazo: But that's not all. Since he's the only one who can't stick to the Pop Off's, he can bounce off of them, going so fast that he can't be seen. Hey, that's a great transition into feats! It's almost like we planned that!
Carl: Mineta should scale to the likes of Earphone Jack, who could exert 1600 lbs with just a soundwave. And his spheres once restrained All Might, the guy who can casually scale to Deku, who dispersed a storm that would take 750 megatons on his part. Plus, he once dodged Midnight's whip, which moves 96% the speed of sound. That's about 740 mph. Also, he scored a 5/5 in intelligence. That's higher then Deku. He's technically the second smartest in his class, besides Momo, who is 6/5.
Yazo: However, he isn't without fault. He's cowardly and known for running away, but for a guy who can keep up with the main protagonist? He may be weak and perverted, but he's still determined to go beyond! PLUS ULTRA!
Carl: ...
Yazo: ...
Carl: ...
Yazo: ...I've always wanted to do that.
"I was wrong. Ever since coming here... and practically dying... I finally get it! Being a hero doesn't make you cool... they're heroes because they're cool!"
Kevin Moskowitz dives Deep into Death Battle![]
Carl: The Deep has been seen as many things.
Yazo: Let's see, useless, a joke, an evil man that violates people (which is true) and many others.
Carl: But the Deep's story is longer then one would think. Kevin Moskowitz was experimented at a young age by Compound V, being given powers over aquatic life, along with having the ability to breath underwater.
Yazo: Outside of that, he lived a fairly normal life, with his mother. He started to gain his powers at about nine years old, being able to hear the thoughts of sealife. At first, he thought he was going insane, but his mother reassured him that it was a gift.
Carl: After a while, his body mutated with fish gills, which made Kevin extremely insecure about himself. He thought he was ugly and that all would make fun of him.
Yazo: This is surprisingly dark for a character that is treated as a joke most of the time...
Carl: That's right, Yazo. After growing up, and accepting his powers, he became a superhero member of America's top team, the Seven. He was known, as The Deep.
Yazo: He became popular, basically overnight. He rose to fame, but this only worsened his mental state. Dude was legit crazy. He began to sexually assault every woman that he met in private, even doing it to one of his fellow teammates, Starlight, the newbie, who he easily black-mailed.
Carl: Learning that Vought had little regard for him is what drove him to this. Once they found out, they worried for their public image, they forced Deep to apologize to the public, rather then to the woman he assaulted.
Yazo: And that's sexist.
Carl: After this, he was deported to a town in the desert, far away from where the other Seven operate. Oh, and he was kicked from the team. Driving him even more insane. To be honest, I'm surprised this guy hasn't snapped or gone to a mental hospital.
Yazo: Would it be possible to take him to one? He's a freaking superhero...or rather ex-superhero.
Carl: He tried to re-join them, but failed. He tried to expose Vought of their evil tendencies, but he was quickly silenced. And now he just sells out on advertisment.
Yazo: As we said before, The Deep has underwater breathing, and the ability to communicate with sealife, usually getting them to do his bidding, although they won't always listen. He can also enhance sealife capabilities. And finally, he can fly.
Carl: And now, onto feats. He once broke the window of an airplane. Now, planes use glass that is 17 times more tougher then normal glass, which takes about 8 tons. Multiplying 8 by 17 gives us a number of 151.785714286. If you want to round, then 150 tons. Heck, you can go even higher, but we'll keep it here. And the Deep can withstand over 8 tons worth of water pressure.
Yazo: Scaling the Deep to a Sperm Whale that he enhanced to bypass a speedboat, which move at 70 mph at top speed. That's pretty fast for a whale. and that's it for The Deep's feats.
Carl: Now, onto feats. The Deep is rather unhinged from his years, and he's abusive to women, but he'll still fight to the very end...even if he thinks his own powers are worthless...
"I mean, yeah, I can talk to fish. So what? How often do you need to be saved by a school of salmon?"
Pre-Death Battle![]
Carl: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibilities. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Yazo: And right now, it's time for a DEEAATTHH BAATTLLEE!
Death Battle![]
"So, your fighting The Deep? I've heard he's good in the water, but not so on land." Midoriya said. Minoru Mineta (aka Grape Juice) was preparing for his fight against one of the Seven from America, a group of highly respected heroes. Both sides of this battle were testing the other. Vought wanted to see if these heroes would be a threat to their plan, while UA wanted to see if Vought and the Seven could be trusted.
"Do you want some help on the fight, Mineta?" Ochako Uraraka (also known as Uravity) asked him.
"Nah, I got this. I'll win easily!" Grape Juice exclaimed. Mina laughed.
"Please! They're the top heroes in America! I doubt you're gonna last a minute." She said.
"Hey, shut up!" Mineta said.
Later...
Minoru walked nervously onto the battlefield, which was a water arena with some islands littered around. The Deep stood at an opposing platform.
"Hey. Hope your ready to take a f*cking loss." The Deep said. He dived into the water, preparing for the match.
"I doubt it." Grape Juice said. He plucked one of his orbs, and prepared for the match. Present Mic grabbed the microphone.
"ALRIGHT! LET'S BEGIN! 3...2...1...GO!"
And thus, the battle began.
FIGHT![]
Mineta jumped down, and landed on one of the mini islands. He cautiously glanced at the water around him. From what he had seen from the Deep, he was great with water fights, but he had to resort to normal combat on land. Suddenly, several fish jumped out of the water, and at Minoru. On instinct, Grape Juice rolled out of the way. He threw one of the orbs into the water, hopefully trapping the Deep. Suddenly, the Deep jumped out of the water and punched Mineta, sending him flying across the arena. The Deep swam through the water, heading over to Mineta, but the young hero jumped into the air, and threw several orbs. The Deep retreated back into the water, avoiding them.
"Ugh, if I keep avoiding him and his balls, it'll just make the water harder and harder to navigate. I gotta think this through." The Deep thought to himself. He dove down to the bottom of the pool. He sat there and looked up. He saw several types of sealife. He smirked, quickly thinking of a plan. He commanded several piranhas to swim up and try to bite Mineta.
Up above, Mineta waited for the Deep to re-emerge.
"That guy's probably gonna wait until I let my guard down. I need to stay focused." Mineta said. Suddenly, the school of piranhas jump out. Grape Juice reacts quickly and sticks an orb to each of them, causing them to sink to the bottom of the ocean. The Deep then emerged from the water, and punched Mineta into the air. Kevin prepared to attack again, but he ended up becoming distracted by the Class 1-A girls, who were cheering Mineta on, along with the rest of the class. Suddenly, Minoru landed next to Kevin, jumped up, and kicked the Deep in the ear.
"Fighting is not the time to perving!" Mineta yelled. Jiro cupped her hands around her mouth.
"YOU HYPOCRITE!" Jiro yelled, making the sound louder with her speakers.
"Shut up!" Mineta yelled. With the younger hero distracted, the older hero made his move and grabbed Mineta, and dunked his head into the water. Under the water, a shark swam up and prepared to bite Mineta. However, Mineta punched the Deep in the face, stunning Kevin, and then moved back from the water, causing the shark to jump up, then retreat back into the water. The Deep jumped, and landed on another island.
"GRAPE RUSH!" Grape Juice yelled, throwing the orbs rapidly. The Deep managed to dodge most of them, even using some sealife to block them.
"Crap, I'm running low on aquatic animals. Better retreat." The Deep muttered. He jumped into the water. He counted the sea creatures he had left and weren't ensnared. A handful of regular fish, two sharks, and a few piranhas. Decent, but not ideal. If he wanted to win, The Deep would have to get Mineta underwater. And he had an idea or two.
Back on land, a handful of normal fish popped out of the water. Mineta didn't even bother to ensnare them, as they weren't a threat. He just moved out of the way.
"If I were that guy, I'd attack from behind." Grape Juice turned, as a shark jumped out of the water. He preformed another Grape Rush, and the shark was trapped to the side of the pool. Suddenly, several piranhas jumped up and grabbed Mineta's limbs. Minoru tried to shake them off, but they managed to drag him into the water. After being dragged about five feet, Mineta shook them off. Before he could swim back up, another shark came and tail-slapped Mineta to the bottom of the pool. The Deep appeared and grabbed Mineta and lifted him up. Mineta kicked and punched, but Kevin kept the boy under control.
However, Mineta used that to his advantage and grabbed one of the orbs on his head. Before the Deep could react, Grape Juice stuck one of the orbs into Kevin's arm. Kevin backed off, shocked by this. Mineta began to swim up. The Deep tried to grab him, but the orb stuck to the bottom. A shark swam at Mineta, but Mineta grabbed it and used the momentum to swing himself to the top.
"That guy is gonna be here in a minute, considering how strong he is. Better get ready." Minoru muttered. And then he got to work.
Meanwhile...
The Deep ripped the piece of concrete from the pool that was attached to the orb. He then swam up. He jumped up, but then, something touched his foot. He looked down to see a snare made up of Mineta's orbs strung along the floor.
"That's how the Vineyard gets ya! Now for the Grape Buckler!" Grape Juice says, swinging the whip down at the Deep.
"If I hear another one of those names, I'm gonna have a stroke." Kevin says. The Grape Buckler hits Kevin's shoulder. Mineta jumps and swings around the Deep, ensnaring him. Once fully ensnared, Mineta knocked him into the water, still being stuck to the island, but being upside down to his knees in the water.
"OH, LOOKS LIKE KEVIN IS IN SOME DEEP TROUBLE. I GUESS THAT'S A WIN FOR GRAPE JUICE!" Present Mic exclaimed.
"Do you ever shut up?" Eraser Head asked. The Deep struggled but couldn't get out of the sticky orbs. Homelander flew down to disintegrate them, while Mineta ran back to his friends.
K.O!!!
The Deep trudged off, swearing revenge, while Mineta's friends congratulate him on his win.
Results[]
Yazo: And that's how Kevin was forever remembered as a joke and forever more.
Carl: Both fighters were very inept, as both knew how to deal with bad guys. Heck, both could actually counter each other's powers. Mineta could trap the Deep above the water, and the Deep could avoid them by going into the water. It could've gone on for quite awhile.
Yazo: While the Deep was surprisingly stronger, being able to exert 150 tons, compared to Mineta's 1600 pounds, Mineta took pretty much everything else.
Carl: While the Deep could move faster then a speedboat, Mineta moved at 96% the speed of sound, that's way faster then the Deep. About 10 times faster, in fact.
Yazo: Not to mention, Mineta was clearly smarter. The Deep never shows any good feats of intelligence, while Mineta scored an intelligence score of 5/5. Smarter then Izuku, the guy who studies heroes and consistently thinks up of strategies. Oh, and the orbs could restrain All Might. The Deep had little chance of escaping.
Carl: The Deep was certainly strong, but Grape Juice was too durable, too fast, and too smart for Deep to take a win.
Yazo: Looks like Kevin only landed "Balls"-"Deep" into trouble.
Carl: Ugh, the winner is Minoru Mineta.
Soundtrack Concept[]
NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE![]
Puns are some of "funniest" things ever...
"heya"
...and these two are masters of it.
"Right now, I am as free as bird in a birdcage."