Description[]
They are both Alternate versions of characters (Jane Foster & Lois Lane) who were in love with certain mighty superhero (Thor & Superman) but then suffered a tragic event in their lives (Death of superman and getting cancer). But soon they gained powers similar to that of their lovers and went out to use them to save the world in their own way (Lois more violent than Janes). Later on, their lovers came back and were shocked to see this new being in front of them that they didn't recognize. While Thor soon gained a mutual respect for the new wielder of his hammer, Superman was horrified by what Lois had become. This is the Third episode of the Sixth season of Dandyclaw's Death Battle.
Interlude[]
·Wiz: With a past that gnaws away at their mind and body alike, these two carry the burden and guilt of their fallen loved ones… but in a time of despair, does one push forward? Does one power through guilt?
·Boomstick: Well, these two sure as hell did, though one was more heroic than the other!
·Wiz: Like Jane Foster, the doctor and scientist who took up the mantle of the Mighty Thor.
·Boomstick: And Lois Lane, the broken mentally unstable widow of Superman who became the Eradicator. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.
·Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find who would win a Death Battle.
Mighty Thor is rested and recharged for Death Battle[]
o Wiz: Doctor Jane Foster wasn’t just one of the world's leading astrophysicists, she was the very best.
o Boomstick: Too Bad the scientific community did treat her with the same respect that they did with all the other physicists out there, because with her being a girl and all. After ever since her dying mother told her never to stop fighting regardless of what offers say to her, you can bet your ass that she took that lesson to heart. Moms make the best teachers, don’t they Wiz.
o Wiz: So true. While on a scientific expedition in the Arizona desert, Jane, who was conducting research on her very own Foster Theory along with her colleagues, soon found themselves and the neighboring town being attacked by a giant robot from another world called the Destroyer.
o Boomstick: With a name like the Destroyer, i doubt that thing is coming in peace. While most people ran for their lives to save their own skin, Jane actually went back into the fray to save as many lives as she could. It was ever that she got to see the arrival of one of Marvel Universe's greatest heroes. The Mighty Thor.
https://youtu.be/5U7c--R4s-E?si=Vs7LtAds9psfPz-E
o Wiz: At this point the prince of the world known as Asgard had recently been banished to earth for being an arrogant young prick by his father Odin to learn to live among mortals and teach him a lesson about humility. It was during his time on Earth where he and Jane would cross paths and she would show him the beauty of the world around him and strength that comes from within a warrior instead of on the outside.
o Boomstick: Touched by this gesture of kindness, Thor regained his powers, saved the day, smashed the Destroyer to pieces, and got the local government agents who had taken/stolen/borrowed Jane’s research to give it back. And he did all in enough time to prevent Asgard from going into all out war with the Frosty Giant Snowmen.
o Wiz: After that incident, Jane dedicated life and time to becoming the premiere experts on Asgard history. She then offered her services to everyone’s billionaire, playboy and philanthropist, Tony Stark to be a part of his new research team in the studies of Agardian science.
https://youtu.be/PAMMJrk17Ts?si=zUmIkde3YybyduTj
o Boomstick: But let’s be honest, the only reason she wanted to work for him was to spend time with her new love interest. At this time, Iron Man had founded the new Avengers team and Thor decided that he wanted to stay on Earth and defend it alongside his new friends, making it the perfect way for them to spend time with each other.
Wiz: Finally having the opportunity to be close with each other, Jane and Thor began to spend more time together doing many different activities like a normal couple such as watching movies, taking vacations during their time off, and going on walks though the park. Both Jane and Thor taught the other things about their respective worlds, and continued to fall deeper in love with each other as time went on.
o Boomstick: But like most ordinary Earthing couples, their love didn’t last forever, and soon found themselves drifting further and further apart like me and my second ex-wife after she found out I have a shotgun for a leg.
o Wiz: Eventually both of their careers began to take up more of their time. Wars began to break out all across the nine realms and Thor was forced to return to help aid his people in their restriction. With the love of her life gone, Jane began to pour her mind into her studies to keep her mind off things.
https://youtu.be/aY2UnCIcRRA?si=_mSx0Bvq0EAl7sz6
o Boomstick: Don’t worry she soon would have another thing to worry about, for Jane was soon diagnosed with stage 4 Breast cancer, the same cancer that ended her career and life of her mom.
o Wiz: Despite Jane’s unbreakable will, the cancer slowly started to weaken her body and confining her to a hospital bed. Though in pain, Jane still was able to keep a positive attitude and dream of all the fond memories she had with her mom and Thor, who was already going through a whole different form of hardship.
o Boomstick: While Thor was away fighting Gorr the God Butcher, a creepy alien god hellbent on whipping out all the Gods in existence, his arm got chopped off and after being manipulated by a possessed Nick Fury, lost the ability to wield his hammer Mjolnir. Don’t worry big man, I'll carry on the fight for you, right after I find a way to lift this darn thing (Boomstick struggles to lift up Mjiolner).
o Wiz: This was because Nick Fury tricked Thor into believing he was unworthy to wield his hammer with his dominant hand to carry it. For days the hammer remained unattended on the surface of the Moon, from where it eventually got up and telepathically sought the next person it deemed worthy to wield it. Jane out.
o Boomstick: And who should be the next in line to inherit the power of the hammer, none other than the good doctor Jane Foster, Lucky girl.
o Wiz: It was during Jane and Thor’s romance together that Mjolnir had decided that Jane was deemed worthy to possess the power of the thunder god and that Thor also made the hammer promise to protect her.
https://youtu.be/2aphoPK_IpI?si=7qYu9RlMGzSj5ka_
o Boomstick: Yeah the hammer got a mind of it’s own sometimes, so not fair. If it didn’t I'd be worthy too.
o Wiz: Doubtful. Eventually, Jane gave into the hammer's call, and was beamed up to the hammer's location by everyone's favorite gatekeeper Heimdall. Once there, Jane picked up Mjolnir, and magically gained all of Thor's powers and transformed into a new body that drastically improved her physical physique.
o Boomstick: It also gave her a cancer-free body and wicked blonde hair, so that is a bonus. With the power of the Thunder God at her fingertips, Jane decided to honor her fallen boyfriend's cause and become a superhero and ambassador for Asgard as the new and improved Mighty Thor.
o Wiz: Really selling into the whole name thing I guess. Since Jane had watched Thor use his hammer in battle for years, it didn’t take long for her to slowly learn how to use Mjolnir just as skillfully as her thundering EX.
https://youtu.be/sdEcukOrAKI?si=p2yKZaJA-up1qWUc
o Boomstick: And thanks to powers and enchantments of this beautiful hammer, Jane now possesses all of the superhuman picks among Asgardians. As a newly formed demi-god, Jane is now super strong, super-fast, and super durable, and even on those rare occasions when she does get hurt, she patches up real quick with her new healing factor.
o Wiz: And of course, being the new substitute God…I’m sorry Goddess of Thunder lets her control lightning and even the weather itself.
o Boomstick: In her new cancer free body, Jane possesses superhuman strength and is now strong enough to hold and lift a car over her head and chuck like it was a softball, hold up a small chunk of the city of New York when it got ripped out of the ground, battle the evil hulk Abomination, fought a Lady version of Loki, and she swings around the most awesome tiny little hammer you've ever seen.
https://youtu.be/TLExq8oY3oA?si=xSO_D5yjx72HnUo8
o Wiz: Mjolnir is an ancient weapon. Sixty-five million years ago, it was forged by dwarves by harnessing a star. Its construction was so intense, it caused the star to explode, and its fiery remains eradicated the dinosaurs.
o Boomstick: Sheesh, talk about metal!
o Wiz: Speaking of metal, Mjolnir is forged from Uru, an extremely durable iron like ore that is highly susceptible to enchantment. Mjolnir, in particular, is enchanted to house a cosmic storm powerful enough to shake black holes. And yes, the wielders of Mjolnir can access the storm's powers, including levitation and control over weather. It also has the ability to open portals to any of the nine realms or break its head into fragments that fly towards its target like high-speed projectiles before reassembling its like nothing ever happened to it.
o Boomstick: Never wanted anything so bad in my life...
o Wiz: With her new superhuman durability, she traded blows with some of Marvel universe’s toughest villains. From the Asgainain demon Mangog, the all-father Odin himself, the reality warping mad scientist the Beyonder, and even Gorr himself. She also battled frost Giants, Orges, and Dark Elves during her battles alongside her Asgardian friends, The Warriors Three.
https://youtu.be/HktI3W7PM0s?si=KSe_Ta5baYOo-ly-
o Boomstick: And those guys know how to have a good time in a fight, plus she can also fly, in a sort of way. See just like Thor himself, she doesn't really fly on her own in the same way people like Hyperion or Captain Marvel do. Instead, she literally chucks her new hammer as hard as she can, and hangs on for dear life as it takes her for a ride across the sky. This has allowed her to keep up with some of the faster opponents, like Speed Demon and Quicksilver.
o Wiz: Jane's new body was far more resistant to physical injury than the body of an ordinary human. She is capable of withstanding great impact forces, temperature and pressure extremes, and powerful energy blasts without sustaining injury.
o Boomstick: Her metabolism is also far more developed than the average Asgardians', giving her potent healing abilities as long as she is in her Thor Form. Ah, seeing this Cancer fighter made me inspired to honor the fallen Asgard dude with my own uniform. If you know what I mean.
o Boomstick leaves to change into a new outfit.
o Wiz: I don't... think I want to.
o Boomstick: (Boomstick comes out wearing a Lady Thor cosplay costume) What do you think of my new digs Wiz!
o Wiz: Ah! It burns like a thousand suns!
o Boomstick: Everyone from Earth and beyond were thrilled to see that there was a new Goddess of Thunder on the block ready to fight for them. Well everyone except the OG Thor for that matter.
o Wiz: At First, Thor didn’t know the Mighty Thor was and though she was an imposter who stole his hammer, and he wanted it back even if wasn’t fully worthy of it’s power anymore.
o Boomstick: But after knocking some sense into his thick blonde head, Jane revealed her identity to her Ex and he saw just how much she had done as the New Thor on the block, even while still going through Chemotherapy. And she offered it back to him, he instead let her keep his beloved hammer because not only did he want her to survive the whole cancer thing, but he also was impressed by all the good she did and wanted her to keep up the good fight. And trust me, it takes alot to impress the likes of a god like him.
https://youtu.be/ZZ994hzjGJ4?si=qUmpWlWu1K-Fu22R
o Wiz: With Thor’s blessing to become the new wielder of Mjolnir, Jane began fighting the battle that he couldn’t as he recovered his will power back with his own new weapon, the ax Jarnbjorn. But even with her superhero resume being off the charts, she does have one major weakness: Jane’s Powers and Asgardian Physiology were derived from Mjolnir.
o Boomstick: Meaning if she gets separated from it for a long period of time or transforms back to her mortal self, she got right to her sickly cancer infected body. Man, I hate loopholes.
o Wiz: But despite this setback, Jane continues to fight to her last breath against all odds day after day, to protect her world and all of the nine realms alongside the OG Thor. Even with the cancer eating her life away, Jane refused to let that be her downfall, because she knew that the world needed Thor to protect, and that was what she was going to give them.
o Boomstick: Then came the final boss battle, the climactic showdown, the testament that all great heroes eventually face. Apologizes for the over dramatic monologue, but when Loki became the Sorcerer Supreme and unleashed the All Dark Magic that began to cover the Tree of Life with dark magic, destroying all of the nine realms in the process, Jane and Thor jumped into action to save the day like a the superhero couple they were.
https://youtu.be/icnjaUiLDrU?si=QljI-xpsNq2SoZvO
o Wiz: But despite their valiant efforts, the All Dark continued to spread with no end in sight, and Jane knew that one of them had to close the casket containing the magic to cut off its sources, which would be a one way trip. Sharing one last kiss with each other, Jane used all of her godly powers to defeat both Loki and the All Dark, sacrificing her connection with Mjolnir and letting the cancer take full hold of her body.
o Boomstick: Though she may have saved the world, she died in Thor’s arms surrounded by the Asgardians who harled her as a true hero and one of their own. Get a grip man, all superheroes end up losing someone close to them, it’s part of the job.
o Wiz: But a hero as great as herself did not deserve to stay dead forever. As Jane’s soul stood at the gates of Valhalla, Thor alongside his father Odin used theory magic to bring her back to the land of the living. Without Mjolnir's power to transform her, Jane focused her undivided attention to chemotherapy in hopes of finally beating back her ultimate nemesis.
o Boomstick: After surviving a world ending threat like that, you bet you can beat your ass that a little cancer wasn’t going to hold her back anymore. But don’t worry, her superhero days were far from over.
https://youtu.be/DQjBTQZcsXo?si=4QSkAVpUV0od-KFT
o Wiz: When the dark elf Malekith and his newly formed Dark Council launched a worldwide invasion of Midgard, killing many of the Valkyrie warrior women in the process, Jane came to comfort Thor as he mourned the loss of his friends. When she touched one of the vambraes of the Valkyrie’s, the spirits of the other Valkyries appeared around her. When their fallen leader Brunnhilde asked Jane if she would become a Valkyrie to help continue their fighter, she agreed without hesitation and was transformed into a Valkyrie.
o Boomstick: She even got a wicked cool enchanted mace, courtesy of Odin, dubbed Thunderstrike, which is very similar to Thor's hammer Mjolnir.
o Wiz: With her powers returned and her hero purpose ignited once more, Jane took up the mantle of Valkyrie and teamed up with not just her boyfriend Thor, but also other hero teams like the New and Mighty Avengers.
o Boomstick: So when you look up and see the thundering sky crackling with lightning, watch, because it’s not just Thor coming your way, it’s also Jane Foster, the new Goddess of Thunder, ready to kick ass and save the day.
o Jane Foster: First off, the name is Mighty Thor! And secondly, if you can't say Mighty Thor I'll accept Doctor Jane Foster! And thirdly, eat my hammer
The Eradicator will exterminate Death Battle[]
o Wiz: Time. Space. Reality. It's more than a linear path. It's a prism of endless possibility, where a single choice can branch out into infinite realities, creating alternate worlds from the ones you know. We will be your guide through these vast new realities.
o Boomstick: Follow us, and ponder the question... What the F***ing if. Now that that monologue is out of the way, let’s get to the fun stuff.
o Wiz: Now we are all familiar with the story of “The Death of Superman”, where Superman battled the monstrous alien Doomsday and tragically died.
https://youtu.be/IxSXLz1ovtI?si=QGcn5gKehCwTT9lx
o Boomstick: But don’t worry, he came back good as new after one of his robo-clones charged him up with some solar radiation, just in time to kick the butts of several superman copycats trying to take his place.
o Wiz: But what if superman didn’t come back, what if he was permanently dead, what if his death caused his closest loved one, Lois Lane, to snap and become a homicidal killer.
o Boomstick: But before we get carried away, let's talk about Lois before she went insane. As we all know by now, Lois was once a reporter for the newspaper company called the Daily Planet, and later fell in love with her coworker, smalltime journalist Clark Kent, who just so happened to be the legendary superhero known as Superman.
o Wiz: As they continued to work together, Clark finally trusted Lois enough to reveal his secret to her. Although she was a little disappointed at him for keeping his secret from her, it didn’t take long for the two of them to get back together. Eventually, Clark ask Lois to marry him, which she immediately said yes to.
o Boomstick: Other than Batman and Catwoman, those two are DC power couple, nothing in this universe can keep them apart. Oops, I spoke too soon.
https://youtu.be/iqnFO9W4C7o?si=3mvfu7uAHgTYrBAv
o Wiz: Well that was in the Prime Universe, the one we most DC events have taken place over the years. Enter the Dark Multiverse, a shadow under the primary Multiverse, one formed of every fear and bad decision ever made or dreamt.
o Boomstick: It’s the last place in the universe any superhero or villain, for that matter, once to be born into. When the big bad monster Doomsday came stomping through Metropolis, Superman was forced to fight him on his own, hoping he was just another alien menace he had to deal with on a regular basis. But it didn't really work out, though, 'cause he... kinda died.
o Wiz: And Lois witnessed this whole tragic event unfold before her very eyes and was powerless to stop it. If this wasn’t painful enough, the very next day was suppose to be their wedding.
o Boomstick: Damn, talk about a bad day. Understandably pretty upset about it, Lois blamed the Justice League for Superman’s death, who only arrived just minutes after his death. She was even more pissed at them for being the ones giving his eulogy at his funeral, while she couldn't even get a glimpse from the back of the crowd. Man, this story is totally hardcore.
o Wiz: As the days turned to weeks, and the weeks became months, the world slowly attempted to move on without Superman, with other version of the man of steel stepping in to fill his shoes.
o Boomstick: With the exception of the increase in crime and natural disasters with the use of a Superman. But poor Lois couldn’t, for it was she who knew him the most, and was disgusted by the fact that everyone could even remotely try to forget a figure like Superman. I know I never could.
o Wiz: As Lois continued to grief, she stated how the world and its people had begun to waste all the gifts Clark had provided for them. The only person she could confess her feelings to was Superman’s mother Martha, who was just as miserable as she was.
https://youtu.be/vpE42aPxpME?si=8jcTimZ1Y2HK0HqG
o Boomstick: Maybe even more, because while Lois lost a husband, Martha lost her bouncy super boy. So Lois decided to use all her remaining money to trek to the Fortress of Solitude to pay her final respect to Clark and his birth parents. It was here where she stumbled upon a strange cosmic energy source with no mouth and no man parts. Sheesh puts some clothes on man, no one wants to see your junk.
o Wiz: This was the Eradicator, a sentient energy A.I. being tasked with defending the last son of Krypton. In the original comic, the Eradicator takes Superman to his tomb and into a matrix stasis pod to let the cells in his body recover and come back to life. But in this universe, by the time he got him there, it was too late and Kal-El was truly gone. With his body overheating due to the life matrix burning within him, the Eradicator knew he needed a vessel to pass on and contain his Kryptonian powers before it destroyed him and be lost forever.
o Boomstick: Not wanting her beloved Kryptonian’s memory to disappear, Lois offered up her own body on a silver platter to be the host for the Eridaticator. Even though the sentient warned her of the impending risk, Lois didn’t care. She had already lost everything in the world that meant anything to her, so she had nothing left to lose and everything to gain.
o Wiz: And with that, the two merged together, turning Lois into a Kryptoninan and granting her all the powers of the man of steel. Taking up Superman's symbolized and shredded cape and donning a new persona, Lois took up the role as the new Superwoman, or in the comic case, the Eradicator.
o Boomstick: But unlike her late super-boyfriend, Lois vowed that she wasn’t going to carry on Superman's battles, she was going to end it. Oh look out DC world, you are in some deep trouble now.
o Wiz: Now with the body of a Kryptoninan, Lois gained a multitude of superpowers and abilities once her body absorbed the electromagnetic radiation of the yellow Sun, granting her the same potential powers as an average Kryptonian.
https://youtu.be/o_JmqsCxtoA?si=oAsygMTULWUzGsat
o Boomstick: Lois now possessed powers of vast superhuman strength and speed, near-invulnerability, flight, super breath, heat vision, X-ray vision, microscopic vision, super hearing, and a computer-like mind thanks to her years as a reporter.
o Wiz: Her trademark attack is her newly acquired Heat Vision, where she fires beams of intense heat at a target by just looking at it. She can vary the heat and area affected, from just a single person to whipping out a whole army.
o Boomstick: Lois's hearing became so sensitive that she could not only hear any sound at any volume, but she could also block out any other sounds to focus on a specific source or frequency. I bet she could just hear a fly break wind all the way in Africa.
o Wiz: Just like Superman, Lois could now to see through any form of matter except lead, and could fly so fast she could go from the earth to the sun in less than a minute.
o Boomstick: Lois was already a tough fighter on her own, but with her new super strength, she became an even deadlier force of nature.
o Wiz: Actually her strength is more an act of conscious will on energy fields than actual physical strength. It is this act of conscious will that enables her to perform physical feats that are beyond that of a mere human, such as moving a mountain top without said rock crumbling under its own mass.
https://youtu.be/3qGyLzQWBh8?si=flGc7gD4i7AvBnU-
o Boomstick: Her super speed allows her to catch bullets in mid flight as well as covering vast distances in little or no time. She got the idea from Superman after she saw him vibrate his body fast enough to phase through objects, and used the same trick to sneak up on thugs in a dark alley and murder them in their sleep, now that is scary.
o Wiz: Well, weird abilities aside, Lois can freeze his enemies in ice or create hurricanes just by breathing.
o Boomstick: I can only imagine how many innocent bystanders got the cold shoulder if she were to sneeze by accident.
o Wiz: Though her intentions to take up the mantle of Superman may have been just, her actions were anything but. While some people saw a hero, others saw a monster.
o Boomstick: Imagine combining the raw power of Omni-Man and the bloodlust of Homelander, and what'cha get is basically Eradicator Lois.
o Wiz: Even worse, as the only known Kryptionian on earth, Lois easily became the most powerful being on the entire planet.
o Boomstick: Yeah, she tends to go a little overboard with her superpowers sometimes, especially her Heat Vision if someone pisses her off or gets under skins, emotionally that is. After all, at the end of the day she is still a grieving wife who still hasn’t gotten over the loss of her lover.
https://youtu.be/wX95HcjCZ3M?si=k7rKQsHJPn1-ObMe
o Wiz: With all these incredible superpower at her beckon call, Lois began to question Clark’s heroic ethic as time went on and wondered why he never used his full potential to achieve greatness to make the world a better place.
o Boomstick: Yeah Lois went to very extreme measures to make the world a so-called “better place” that Superman would have envisioned. This would include free wrongly convicted prisoners, penalize the corrupt, and destroy military weapons from all over the globe. Oh and you can bet she was super pissed when she found out that Superman's archenemy Lex Luthor, who has hair in the universe, had manufactured and stored nuclear weapons in rural countries that were causing radiation poison to the innocent villagers living near them.
o Wiz: When she went to confront him, Lex just gloated about his crimes which she couldn't prove, something he would normally do with Superman causing him to fly away in disappointment. But that was his biggest mistake.
o Boomstick: The minute Lois heard him insult Superman’s name, she grabbed him by the neck, flew him into outer space and threw his body into the sun, or at least what was left of it that is. That should teach him not to mess with a grieving widow with uncontrollable superpowers.
o Wiz: Refusing to let vile succumb like Lex roam the streets of her new world, Lois began to hunt down every known criminal and murderer around the world and killing them without mercy, believing it to be the best option to maintain peace throughout the world.
o Boomstick: And you can bet that her first stop was Gotham City, where she tracked down the clown prince of crime, The Joker, and roasted him alive before he could crack a single joke.
o Wiz: This led to a serious confrontation with Batman himself, who criticized her for crossing a line that no hero should dare cross. However, Lois simply ignored him and argued back that his normal method of beating the crap out of criminals and sending them to prison was never going to work, and would cost the lives of others.
o Boomstick: For a murder grieving housewife, she is not wrong though. After an intense staring contest with the Dark Knight, he pulled out his ace in the hole, Kryptonite, perfect to handle any rouge Kryptonians out there. But after he stated that she had let Clark die in vain and ruined everything he stood for, she snapped and fired his ass like a Thanksgiving turkey. Not to self, never mock a badass woman with superpowers 'Kay? Thanks.
https://youtu.be/zd-nUgMj4Rg?si=ks_W56MUEnOkxn3h
o Wiz: Though she may have the same weakness as Superman, like Kryptonite and Magic, it never stopped her one woman army of murder. For she began to believe that Clark didn't want to accept the fact that the world didn't deserve to be saved and that the people never truly appreciated him like she did.
o Boomstick: This woman needs help, which is why all the Superman rip offs were sent to take her out, but the exact opposite happened and she kicked their buts with ease. But her real punching bag was the Cyborg Superman, whom she attacked relentlessly for taking and tarnishing the Superman name. Which was what she was already doing, you wanna see a superman rip off, look in the mirror lady.
o Wiz: While fighting him, she was aided by a newly revived Superman. Although it was to save Superman in the first place, his body did eventually heal in the stasis pod, it just took longer than it should have. But upon his return, he was horrified to realize that people were staring not because they were shocked to see him but they were afraid of her.
https://youtu.be/Q0Yvy4ueVtc?si=M9Rrm2xl54T09_Oo
o Boomstick: While both lovers were trying to process what just happened like a computer that takes forever to load up, Cyborg Superman pulled out a gun ready to pump Kryptonite gas which would kill two Super-birds with one Kryptonite stone.
o Wiz: When she rushed to stop him, she accidentally ended up breaking the pump which caused Green Kryptonite to spread in the air. Because of this, her beloved Superman died in her arms once again, horrified by the monster she had become.
o Boomstick: She got the love of her life back only for him to die just as soon as she had appeared and for him to see her as a monster and not the women he fell in love with. Talk about a double heartbreak.
o Wiz: Though she would continue to patrol the Earth as the “savior” she believed they needed, this Lois Lane would always be remembered as The Eradicator, the dark avenging angel of the Multiverse.
o Lois Lane/Eradicator: I’ll do it Clark. I’ll make a better world. One that deserved you.
Pre-Fight:[]
Wiz: All right the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fight[]
Above the city of Metropolis, the Mighty Thor, Jane Foster can be seen flying around the city.
Jane: Aw, I never get tired of this.
Suddenly, there is a loud boom and a small explosion can be seen in the city.
Jane: Well time to go to work.
With her hammer in hand, Jane flies down to where the explosion came from. When she comes to a burning bank, she sees a car on fire and the burnt bodies of the robbers.
Jane: My Goodness.
Suddenly, a robber comes running out of the bank screaming for help, but right before he gets to the Mighty Thor, he is incinerated by a pair of heat vision eyes that appear from the silhouette of the bank. The figure begins to forward and is revealed to be the Eradicator, Lois Lane.
Jane: What did you just do?
Lois: Saved the day of course.
Jane: Well you didn’t have to kill him. That is what jail is for.
Lois: Ha, jail is only a temporary solution, I am the permanent one.
Jane: Lady, you are crazy.
Lois: This doesn’t concern you. Leave my city Now.
Jane: Oh, I’ll leave, no problem, as soon as you come with me so I can turn you over to SHIELD.
Lois: I’m not going anywhere.
Jane: Then neither am I.
The Two women stare each other down with Jane lowering her hammer and Lois’s eyes begin to glow.
The Mighty Thor strikes first, knocking The Eradicator back with a hit from Mjolnir. Lois withstands the attack and counters with her own punch that sends Jane backwards. Jane recovers from the attack and flies forward and punches Lois, then proceeds to go on the offensive, forcing The Eradicator to block his blows until Jane flies behind her and kick her in the back, flying into a building. Jane then flies into the air and dives right at Lois, who punches her so hard that she flies through multiple buildings. Lois then flies after him and delivers a fast combo on Jane. The Mighty Thor summons her hammer to her side and slugs Lois across the face. This sends the Eradicator flying back into the air before being hammered by Mjolnir from behind that sends her crashing to the street. Lois the hovers out of the crater she is in and looks up, seeing Mighty Thor flying up to her, with her hammer ready to slam against Lois. Moving as quick as possible, Lois grabbed Jane's arm, halting her, and punches her in the stomach, sending the goddess back a bit. Jane retaliates with a lighting bast from her hammer that shocks Lois so hard that she falls out the ground.
Jane: Please stop this! We are both heroes and we shouldn't have to fight each other.
Lois: If you are not with me, then you are against me, and anyone against me will have no choice but to admit defeat!
Lois zooms into the sky and charges forwards at super speed to deliver several super-punches to the Mighty Thor. Janes hold up her hammer and uses it as a shield that tanks the punches and simply hits Lois with a blast of lightning, which blasts The Eradicator back. Catching herself, Lois uses her ice breath and freezes Jane in an ice block, causing her to plummet to the ground. But the ice soon starts to crack and shatter until Mighty Thor breaks out of her prison. Jane keeps blasting Lois with lightning bolts, making Lois flee and dodge the the incoming bolts of lightning. See that she is too fast, Jane lifts up her hammer and summons a larger lighting bolt from the sky, that brighten up the entire city as it strike Lois down, making her crash into the ground.
Jane: Well that was easy.
However, Lois flies out from under the ground right next to her and unleashes her heat right at Jane. However, Mighty Thor is unfazed by the attack and begins generating lightning from Mjolnir and hurls the hammer at Lois, who catches it in her palm. Mighty Thor holds out her hand and makes Mjolnir return to her hand, pulling Lois along with it. When then they begin to get closer, both warrior women strike back at each other, Lois with another punch, and Jane with her own fist.
A loud explosion is caused from the result of their impact, which barely used much of their strength. This causes a shockwave that shatters windows in every car and building in Metropolis, even causing the ground to shake. The two superheroines weren't deterred in the slightest from either's strikes, but the both were sent flying back into separate buildings across the street. Jane flies out of her building and looks across see two glowing eyes appearing out of the other building where Lois went.
Jane: Oh Boy, I think I just ticked her off.
Annoyed and angered by the Mighty Thor's interference, the Eradicator screams and charges towards Jane to deliver a gut punch, skidding her back a few feet. Jane retaliates with a few swings of her hammer, which Lois dodges before taking flight and using her heat vision to fire a rapid barrage of lasers from her eyes. Although the Mighty Thor takes a few hits, she twirls Mjolnir to deflect the remainder of them.
Jane: Have at thee, Lady.
Finding an opening within the blasts, she shoots a bolt of lightning with her hammer, striking her target dead-on and knocking Lois to the ground. Mighty Thor jumps and prepares to deliver a powerful downward strike with her hammer, with the Eradicator using both hands to catch the weapon. The entire city shakes around the two as a result of their struggle. When the smoke clears, Lois is still holding back the blow of the hammer, before using her heat vision to send Jane flying into a building. Though Jane shakes off the attack, she then spots Lois heading right at her.
Lois: YOU WILL DIE.
Jane: Here we go again.
Lois quickly tackles Jane through the building, and the two start flying and wrestling with each other across the city while striking each other. The smash through several buildings and grind through the streets at lighting speeds, brushing parts flee people and with enough force to rattle all the cars in the area, setting off the alarms. Jane hits Lois in the face with her hammer, causing her to bleed a little, and she retaliates by hitting the Mighty Thor in the stomach with a hard punch before using her Artic breath to push her opponent back and follow up with a fast paced combo, striking Jane all over before kicking her down to the road below, creating a crater in the road. Lois hovers over the smoke uses her x-ray vision to find her opponent, she then bombarded with several sharp pieces of the hammer, which striker her repeatedly. Jane the flies up and recalls all the pieces that reform Mjolnir.
Lois: How is that possible?
Jane: It's called magic, you should try it sometimes.
Jabe flies forward and strikes Lois in the face with her hammer, then proceeds to go on the offensive, forcing the Eradicator to block her blows until Jane opens a portal behind her and flies into it, disappearing from sight. Lois looks around the ruins if the city, using her super hearing and x-ray vision, determined to find her foe. But all she can hear are the scrams and cries from the people fleeing from the fight, which begins to take a toll on her.
Lois: WHERE ARE YOU!!!
A portal then appear behind her and Jane zooms out and kicks Lois through a building. Jane then holds Mjolnir close to her chest and summons a massive bolt of lighting that destroys the entire building, leaving nothing up rubble.
Jane: Hope that was enough to take her...
Suddenly, Lois flies from out of the ground to grab Jane by the throat and launches her into the stratosphere with a powerhouse punch. Streaking after her, the Eradicator sends The Mighty Thor flying with two more punches, then flies ahead of her and catches her by the back of the head and throwing her opponent towards the ground.
Lois: Stay down if you know what’s good for you
Recovering mid-flight, Jane flies back towards Lois, who fires her heat vision at the Mighty Thor to stop her. But she counters by twirling her hammer and powers through the heat beam. While her hammer blocks the heat vision, Jane does a flying dash attack towards Eradicator Lois, tackling her across the sky. As the two struggle through the clouds, Lois grabs Mjolnir and throws it away before punching Jane through a cloud. She then uses her Arctic Breath to freeze the cloud, and uses her x-ray vision to scan it, only to realize that Jane is not in the frozen cloud. However, Jane appears behind Lois with Mjolnir and lowers both her hands in a double hammer fist attack to send Lois plummeting to the ground.
Jane: Looks like you are the one heading down now.
However, the Eradicator stopped herself from falling and flies back up, glaring her opponent. She fire a concentrated burst of heat vision at Jane, who only blocks the attack with her hammer before retaliating with a lightning blast of her own. Lois uses her super speed to dodge it and clash punches with Jane again. The two continue speeding through the sky and across the streets of the city, trading blows, both hammer and fist, back and forth all over each other's body. Anyone who sees the fight unfold from the ground or above in the passing planes only sees a pair of red and blue blurs zipping all over the place. As the two zoom through the sky, two people bellow try to catch the fight on their phones.
Citizen 1: Did you catch that?
Citizen 2: Catch one?
Lois catches Jane’s next punch in her right hand while simultaneously delivering her own punch using her left hand. It did little to Jane except put a dent in her helmet, however, as the Mighty Thor unleashed a large bolt of lightning from the sky that knocked Lois miles backwards. But then Lois comes flying back and delivers a punch to the gut that also sends Lois towards the ground.
Lois chases after Jane and fires a powerful heat vision attack onto her falling foe. But when the dust clears, there is no explosion, just a large ball of energy being absorbed by Mjolnir, held by Jane with some intense struggle. Lois dives down to make her next move but the Mighty Thor swings her mighty weapon and launches it. It zooms past the Eradicator but instantly comes back. She halts Mjolnir still with the palm of her hand and smiles arrogantly, but the hammer's enchanted weight powers through. Her arm gives in to Mjolnir’s descent, sending her screaming downwards into a bed of water below. Jane then recalls her weapon and then throws it back down in its shard form that pelt the ground below repeatedly before returning to her.
Jane: Hope you like your hair extra-crispy.
But she see soon spots a red blur coming at her and Lois tackles her again. Punches are met with hammer blows as the two super beings collide and clash. For every strike Lois throws, Jane hits back just as hard with her hammer. Heat vision and lightning were either dodged by one woman when expelled by the other or were precise enough to meet mid-air.
Jane: Let me know when you are ready to give up.
Lois: I will never stop I make this world perfect for Clark.
Jane: Who?
The Eradicator isn’t tiring in the slightest, but neither is the Mighty Thor, and Lois realized she had to go all-out. Lois delivers an uppercut punch to Jane before grabbing the latter’s cape and holding it as she flew upwards past the upper atmosphere. She let go of Jane with a strong throw as the two were now orbiting close to the sun. The two continued to stare one another down.
Lois: This is your last warning, stand down or I will kill you.
Jane: Well I don’t stand down for anyone, so I guess you’ll have to kill me.
Lois: Gladly.
The Eradicator and Mighty clash with their fist and hammer, creating a shockwave that can be felt across the entire Solar System. Jane dodges Lois's next punch before trapping the hand she just attacked with in her grip before following up with three hammer blows to the head and chest. Lois retaliates with a powerful punch of his own, that sends the Mighty Thor flying back towards the Earth. Frustrated, Jane charges up her hammer and flies towards Jane with a forward hammer strike that send her flying int he opposite direction. However, Lois quickly recovers and strikes Jane with a double-handed hammer fist attack that sends Jane falling to the moon. Jane spirals to the moon's surface until making a crater on impact in the middle. As she struggles to stand back up, Jane looked up just in time to see the Eradicator Lois coming at him extremely fast, glowing after absorbing the sun's radiation. Lois tackles Jane into the crater, bringing the two super beings underground to the center. The moon starts to shake and crack, until the it spits into two pieces as the two superwomen break free of it.
Lois: ENOUGH!!!!
Lois’s eyes glow red as untamed fury rushes over her, and she expelled a powerful burst of the solar energy that burns and knocks Lois a large distance away. Jane then uses her hammer to open a portal to another dimension and flies through it, hoping to escape and recover from the last attack in a now ice cover area. But before the portal closes, as semi-drained Lois flies in after her in a now snowy environment.
Lois: Did you really think you could escape from me. I am the Superwoman, I am the only savior of this planet, and you are nothing compared to me.
Jane: You may be a lot of things lady, but a savior is not one of them. I wonder what this Clark person would say if he was here?
Angered by mentioning her late fiancé's name, Lois growls and lunges forwards, knocking Jane back with a powerful punch so hard that it casues her nose to bleed.
Lois: Don't you say his name, you are not allowed to say his name.
Lois charges at Jane at light speed, striking her with an uppercut that shoots her back in the air again. The glowing eyed Lois chases after her, only to kick her into a nearby mountain. Jane body then starts crackling with Lightning and dark cloud starts surrounding the sky as her eyes glow blue.
Jane: Taste my....THUNDER
The Mighty Thor screams with fury as she charges towards the Eradicator. Both glowing eyed super charged women clash repeatedly as they whiz through the sky, as shockwaves are set across the ground and the sky as lightning strikes the ground around them, until Jane catches Lois's arm before calling upon lightning to electrocute her and hitting her with Mjolnir, sending Lois's body falling down to the snowy ground. She gets up quickly and starts throwing large snow boulders at her opponent. Jane then throws Mjolnir at Lois, but the Eradicator catches it with her hand and chucks it into the sky. However, she soon starts to flee weaker as she struggles to throw the large boulders as Jane flies closer to her.
Lois: Huh...How am I so weak all of a sudden.
Jane: Well if you took a look behind you, you'd probably see that you are out of your element.
Lois turns around and looks up at the sky, only to realize that the sun is not yellow, but red, much to her shock and horror. Jane then zooms down and catches her by the throat.
Lois: A RED SUN. But how did you...
Jane: After that solar blast you used against me when we took a trip to the sun, I theorized that that was how you were getting your powers. So I took us to a world with a red sun to see if my theory was correct and if it would weaken you, which is was. Now then, let's you and me end this...Now.
As Lois struggles to break free of the Mighty Thor's grip, Jane summon Mjolnir from the sky, ripping Lois's left arm off, causing her to yell in pain. Jane callously tosses aside the appendage before punching Lois, knocking her to the ground, while her hammer flies into the Eradicator's face with a crunch, causing her further pain. Not wasting any time, Jane summons the hammer back to hand before bringing it down on Lois's face, destroying the superwoman's head.
Jane: Always aim for the head!
Jane then lifts Mjolnir into the air and screams in victory as the skies cloud over and a thunderstorm begins.
Results[]
Boomstick: Say Wiz, I wonder how Thor and Supes would flee when they find out we made their girlfriends try to kill each other.
Wiz: This fight was immensely close. Possessing both the powers of Superman and Thor meant that Jane and Lois were practically dead even in so many ways it was practically down to other details.
Boomstick: If it were a basic fight between Superman and Thor, Superman would have trumped Thor due to him being stronger, faster, and more durable than the god of thunder. But although these superheroines possessed the powers of their boyfriends, they use them in very different ways.
Wiz: If given the chance, Lois could have ended Jane right then and there, but Jane held her bay using her two unique advantages: her intelligences and her experiences.
Boomstick: In her hey day, Lois may have been an ace reporter with a knack for going where the danger lies and getting herself out of sticky situations. But Jane a noble prize winning scientist with the brains to match her beauty, making her twice as smart and pretty as Lois. Not mention, Jane has been a superhero much longer than Lois has.
Wiz: Sure as the Eradicator, Lois could got toe to toe with all the superman variant and vaporize Batman in a single strike, Jane has held her own and even bested being who would be called gods like Odin and The Beyonder, both of which Lois has never faced before her in her superpowered form.
Boomstick: Plus in her grief-stricken state, Lois wasn't much of a thinker and then to kill first and ask questions later, allowing Jane to lead her into a trap, like say...taking her to a planet with a red sun and getting her burn up all her energy.
Wiz: Superwoman Lois was unbelievably powerful, worthy of the title "The Eradicator ", but the Mighty Thor's intelligent mind, years of experience and equally level power allowed her to remain at her title as "The Goddess of Thunder".
Boomstick: Somebody call the DC Pest control, because the not-so mighty Lois has been “eradicated”
Wiz: The winner is The Mighty Thor, Jane Foster.
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Soundtrack[]
The cover name would be "Godly Women".