Mettaton vs The Noise

• GodzillaFan8889
• Thebeeghungry
• u/Consistent_Cry_7403 (Reddit)
• Bunny Cat4
• zalgo9997 (DeviantArt)
• FNAFpro52
• AidenRulz0828

1/7

Mettaton vs The Noise is a battle by GodzillaFan8889, featuring the robotic star of the Underground, Mettaton, fighting against the chaotic gremlin and rival to Peppino, The Noise, to see who is the greater indie TV star yearning for a little fame.

Description

Undertale vs Pizza Tower! Everybody wants to be a superstar, but it’s not these two rising stars’ fault that they go the farthest! Will Mettaton serve his opponent a glamorous death, or will The Noise prove to be made of far hotter stuff?

Introduction

(Cue Wiz and Boomstick - Brandon Yates)

Wiz: Mettaton, the greatest- and only- robotic star of the Underground.

Boomstick: The Noise, Pizza Tower’s insane gremlin and rival to Peppino Spaghetti!

Wiz: Fame is something many, many people have tried to attain over the years-

Boomstick: And given we have, what, 5.25 million subscribers right now? I’d say we’re doing pretty well in that department.

Wiz: -and when it comes to these two TV stars, the spotlight is everything for them; they’ll gladly pummel their enemies for the cameras to capture and their adoring audiences to witness.

Boomstick: Ah, violence, they’re just like us! He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick!

Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!

Mettaton Makes the Ratings Rise for DEATH BATTLE!

(Cue Once Upon A Time - Toby Fox)

Wiz: Once upon a time, as the legends say, two races ruled over the Earth: humans, and monsters. For a long while, these two species lived in peace and harmony.

Boomstick: But of course, in every story like this, something went horribly wrong. One day, both sides woke up and decided to fight in a vicious war. Why, you may ask? Well, we don't really know for sure, but I think-

Wiz: After a long, drawn-out conflict, the humans came out on top, literally, as they sealed all the monsters underground with a powerful magical spell that none of them could break. And for a while, that was the last time these two races would ever meet.

Boomstick: Turns out, however, that the spell apparently didn't go both ways, because one day, a human child wandered around Mt. Ebott and just so happened to fall into the Underground, where they were found by the prince of the monsters and taken into the Royal Family.

Wiz: They lived happily as an adopted member of the Royal Family, but yet again, tragedy would strike. To make a somewhat-long story short, the human, Chara, passed away, and the prince, Asriel Dreemurr, carried their body to the surface. Once he made it to Chara's village, the villagers attacked him under the assumption that he murdered the human, and due to his refusal to fight back, Asriel ended up dying as well.

Boomstick: Understandably, King Asgore was very angered by what had happened, and vowed to kill any human that fell into his domain, even children. Toriel, his wife, left her husband after he decided that he'll kill a thousand children before he'd let the Underground die, but by then it was too late.

Wiz: Boomstick, the reference doesn't even work, he only needed 7 human souls to break the Barrier.

Boomstick: Shut up and let me make my random, out-of-nowhere references will ya?

Wiz: ...Rude. Moving on, several monsters began to do as Asgore told them to, killing any human that entered and taking their souls until there were six. One monster that attempted to fulfill this duty somewhat was Alphys, the current royal scientist.

Boomstick: We don't talk about the previous one.

Wiz: Alphys ended up creating a human-eradication robot... or so it seemed. Not only did she seem to have second thoughts, but this wasn't just a robot, it was one willingly possessed by a ghost, which, yes, they have those in the Underground too.

Boomstick: And despite what he may say, this ghost didn't wanna become a murderer, but he instead wanted to become a star! One whose name would be echoed throughout the entire Underground, one who would be selling merch of his own face, one who would have his own brand!

Wiz: Meet one of Dr. Alphys' proudest creations... Mettaton.

(Cue Metal Crusher - Toby Fox)

Background

• Real Name: Hapstablook (possibly)
• Aliases: Mettaton, MTT (also brand name)
• Occupation: Killer robot, star of the Underground, manager of MTT Resort
• Is the cousin of Napstablook
• Has three forms
• Has a massive fanbase (both in-universe and the real world)
• Becomes a dictator in one ending
• Smells like Mettaton

Boomstick: This calculator with arms is a bonafide celebrity among Monster-kind. He's got it all, a loyal fanbase, a resort which he manages somewhat poorly, not one, but SEVERAL MTT TV shows, and of course, a down-on-his-luck worker he constantly berates... wait, what?

Wiz: And don't mistake his indulgence in stardom as equating to a lack of fighting prowess. Despite his affable personality, Mettaton is not afraid to get dangerous, and he certainly has the capabilities to do so, especially with his different forms.

Base Form

• 30 ATK 255 DEF

Abilities:

• Rocket flight
• High strength and durability
• Invulnerability to harm
• Electric beam
• Boxes
• Arm attacks
• Bombs

Arsenal:

• Chainsaw
• Baking ingredients (Eggs, flour and milk)
• Bombs shaped like various items

Wiz: Mettaton's base form, according to the Check ability in Undertale, boasts a generous ATK stat of 30 and a frankly ridiculous DEF stat of 255. This renders him nigh-invincible to damage, and also allows him to perform impressive physical feats such as busting through a wall effortlessly.

Boomstick: Just like the Kool-Aid Man! But if this killer robot needs to get anywhere fast, he can fly with a built-in rocket booster which can outspeed a jetpack. And when it comes to actual attacks, he can fire electricity and lightning to fry his enemies, drop boxes and bombs on his foes' heads, and pile on the pressure with weird constructs of his own arms!

Wiz: It is important to note that Mettaton's bombs can be detonated prematurely if they are shot with a projectile, and that projectiles will also cause his arm constructs to move to the side. While Frisk, the protagonist, was only able to accomplish his with the Yellow SOUL ability, there's no reason to believe any other attack wouldn't do the trick.

Boomstick: But the real fun in base form Mettaton is his arsenal... which he only uses in scripted encounters. He's got a literal goddamn chainsaw, baking ingredients he can rain down on his enemies to slow them down, and best of all, a s**t-ton of bombs shaped like all sorts of things! A video game, a book, a glass of water, even a dog for crying out loud! Oh, and don't forget the MASSIVE one with a timer attached to it!

Wiz: Seems simple enough, but like a lot of robots, there's more to Mettaton than meets the eye. During one encounter with the possessed machine, Alphys gets the protagonist to defeat Mettaton by tricking him into turning around and flipping the switch on his back. However, this didn't deactivate the robot, it unlocked a new form with more attacks, more ATK, and-

Boomstick: More style!

Wiz: ...that too. This is Mettaton's second form: Mettaton EX.

(Cue Death by Glamour - Toby Fox)

Mettaton EX

• 47 ATK 47 DEF

Abilities:

• Boxes
• Arm attacks
• Bombs
• Leg attacks
• Mini Mettatons
• Disco ball
• REC and REW
• "Heart-to-heart"
• Posing with style

Wiz: Aside from the previously-mentioned boxes, arm constructs, and bombs Mettaton has in base form, Mettaton EX can create attacks resembling his own legs. They can attack from above and the sides, but much like the arms, shooting them will cause them to start moving, giving Mettaton's foe a chance to dodge.

Boomstick: Mettaton can also summon miniature versions of himself which will rain down and blow deadly kisses- er... hearts towards you! Oh yeah, they can also be destroyed if shot. But one of my personal favorites is undoubtedly his laser-shooting disco ball of DEATH!

Wiz: This disco ball emits both white and blue rotating lasers. Combined with Undertale's battle box, these lasers are essentially undodgeable. However, the blue lasers will not harm you if you stay still. Shooting this disco ball switches the colors of its lasers from white to blue and vice versa, meaning a skilled foe can take advantage of this in order to not take any damage.

Boomstick: Our favorite deadly killer robot can also combine his attacks in many different patterns to throw off his foes. But Mettaton's most formidable ability is his time manipulation!

Wiz: Wait, what?

Boomstick: Yeah, he can literally rewind TIME ITSELF like the playback on a video!

Wiz: Now, now, let's not get too carried away. Indeed, Mettaton's REC and REW ability allows him to seemingly rewind time when attacking. However, it is important to note that it doesn't restore any destroyed projectiles and it doesn't affect anything else other than the movement of his own attacks.

Boomstick: Eh, still good for sneak attacks at least. But Mettaton doesn't like being distant with his opponents. After all, a good performer must know his dance partners well. So if he chooses, Mettaton can give his foes a quite literal heart-to-heart by... revealing his own heart! Which shoots goddamn bolts of electricty!

Wiz: A deadly attack when paired with his other moves, especially if he surrounds his heart with boxes and the like, but Mettaton's so called "heart-to-heart" is also one of his greatest weaknesses. You see, shooting the exposed heart causes him to take great damage, to the point where if enough is sustained, his arms can fall off.

Boomstick: Eh, who needs arms with legs like those?

Wiz: More damage will also cause his legs to fall off.

Boomstick: Goddammit!

Wiz: However, he is capable of surviving without his limbs. Heck, he can continue fighting even without them. However, he will eventually be forced to stop fighting if he runs out of power, but we'll get to that later.

Boomstick: Mettaton EX also has a penchant for busting fabulous poses in order to make the ratings rise! He can even make you answer a question about himself or put the battle into a union-regulated break! These don't really do anything, they're just cool.

Wiz: All these abilities make this form of the possessed robot a formidable foe for sure. However, it isn't even supposed to be his deadliest.

Boomstick: In the Genocide route, Mettaton decides to skip all the theatrics and just stop the now-genocidal Frisk no matter what it takes. Thus, he willingly sheds his box form to become a true killing machine that can blow up any foe that dares even think of standing against him!

Wiz: This... "true killing machine that can blow up any foe that dares even think of standing against him"... is Mettaton NEO.

Mettaton NEO

• 90 ATK 9 DEF

(Cue Power of NEO - Toby Fox)

Boomstick: Hell yeah! This baby's got a ludicrous ATK stat of 90, and more insane abilities, such as using his sick new arm cannon and wings to... stand there and die instantly?! What is this nonsense!?

(Music slowly fades out)

Wiz: Well, you see, the problem is by this point, the human's own ATK and DEF had increased significantly thanks to the LV they acquired from killing literally every single monster they could find. Thus, when they found themselves faced against this killing machine, they were able to slay Mettaton with just one hit before he could try anything.

Boomstick: Now that's just lame!

Wiz: Lame, sure, but it fits perfectly with the Genocide Route's overarching theme. The act of killing everyone is not meant to be rewarding; the player is not granted some grand, epic boss fight against Mettaton NEO. Instead, they face difficulty at the hands of the internet's favorite skeleton, whose goal is nothing more than to punish them until the player gives up entirely.

Boomstick: Yeah yeah I get it, don't kill everyone for the funny Megalovania fight, Chara isn't actually the villain and we were the true evil ones all along for seeing what would happen if we killed every NPC in a video game, can we move on from all this? It's making me sad.

Wiz: Sure.

(Cue Death By Glamour -Dual Mix- - theultimateonejpsx)

Feats

• Busted through a wall effortlessly
• Base form is nearly indestrucible
• Managed to fool Frisk by going along with Alphys' scheme
• EX form should be comparable to more powerful monsters such as Undyne, going off of ATK and DEF
  • Undyne can casually suplex boulders
• Can keep up with Frisk, who can dodge projectiles resembling meteors, lightning and electricity
• NEO form is implied to be even stronger than Asgore and Toriel in terms of ATK
• In the True Pacifist ending, managed to become a star on the surface and even have some co-stars with him

Boomstick: Now that's more like it! As mentioned before, Mettaton can bust through walls with no issue, and in his box form, tank any attack that comes his way without taking any damage. The Yellow SOULs bullets just bounce off him! He's friggin' bulletproof!

Wiz: Mettaton is also quite cunning, especially when it comes to his acting. He was able to go along with Alphys' sceme by pretending to be a killer robot who would repeatedly be foiled by her. Granted, he was a little... over the top, but regardless, he played his role perfectly.

Boomstick: And when he finally decided to fight for realsies, he did not disappoint! He could keep up with Frisk, who should be around hypersonic given that they can dodge attacks resembling meteors, lightning and electricity! Probably not as fast as the real deals, but still, that's impressive for a goddamn preteen!

Wiz: But Mettaton's real strength lies within his stats. You see, comparing them to other monsters in the Undergrouns gives a little more idea on how powerful he is. Undyne normally has 50 ATK and 20 DEF, not too far ahead from Mettaton's own ATK stat. Given that she can casually suplex boulders, crack concrete and perform other similar feats of strength, it's not much of a stretch to say that Mettaton is at least close to that level. And despite its lack of feats, the NEO form is implied to be even more dangerous. Its ATK stat of 90 is even higher than those of Asgore and Toriel, both of whom have 80 ATK. One of the only monsters higher than this is Undyne the Undying, who has 99 ATK and 99 DEF.

Boomstick: Yeesh, that's a lot of numbers. But as totally awesome as this sorta-killer robot is, he's not flawless by any means. But that doesn't matter, because he's flawless in our Mettaton-shaped hearts.

Wiz: Uhm, what? For one, a heart shaped like a box or a robot model wouldn't be sustainable for the human body, and- oh forget it.

Weaknesses

• Is quite vain of himself and his ratings, which can cause him to get distracted in battle
• Attacking his EX form's heart when exposed causes major damage to him
• EX form has limited battery and will eventually run out of power
• NEO form is the very definition of a glass cannon

Wiz: Mettaton is known to be quite vain and self-confident and will often pay attention to his ratings or appearance. This can come back to bite him, such as when he was fooled by the human into turning around after they said there was a mirror behind him, allowing Frisk to flip his switch.

Boomstick: And again, like we brought up before, his EX form can be heavily damaged if his heart is attavked while it is exposed. Heck, you don't really even have to attack the heart in-battle, in which case his limbs just explode from uhh... overexertion or something?

Wiz: Not a far stretch, as Mettaton's EX form also runs out of battery relatively quickly, as explained by the star himself:

"...THIS FORM'S ENERGY CONSUMPTION IS... INEFFICIENT. IN A FEW MOMENTS, I'LL RUN OUT OF BATTERY POWER..."

Wiz: At the end of the Mettaton EX fight, even if you didn't actively try to destroy him, Mettaton will run out of power.

Boomstick: And then of course there's that goddamn NEO form. Granted, 9 DEF isn't the lowest DEF stat, we all know who owns that title, but it's still pretty low. Hell, it's even lower than Muffet's or Jerry's! F***ing Jerry.

Wiz: As stated before, if a foe is powerful enough, they can easily destroy this form in a few hits or less. Not to mention, most of its capabilities are unknown.

Boomstick: But hey, at least a wacky salesman in an alternate universe made good on the NEO form!

Wiz: Make no mistake, despite his flaws, Mettaton is at heart a performer who, underneath all the glory, cares for his fans. And he'll do anything to make them roar in excitement the next time he comes across a foe, because this is his show, and he'll make sure you know that fact well.

"I'll make your last living moments... ABSOLUTELY beautiful!"

DEATH BATTLE just can’t Av-oise The Noise!

(Cue Cold Spaghetti - Pizza Tower OST)

Wiz: To start this one off, the story of Pizza Tower, which is deceptively simple, all centers around the struggles of one middle-aged Italian man: Peppino Spaghetti, the chef and owner of Peppino's Pizza.

Booomstick: His name is Peppino Spaghetti? God, if there was a list for "most stereotypical Italian names", that one would be cracking the top ten at minimum.

Wiz: Deliberately stereotypical names aside, by the time the game starts, Peppino's business was essentially down in the dumps, with the man sinking into debts and needing loans thanks to his lack of profits. Of course, one can theorize as to why such a thing happened, but we aren't really given many concrete answers other than some hints.

Boomstick: But let's just get to the good parts already and not pull a MatPat. Mr. Spaghetti's life was subsequently changed forever when a f***ing floating pizza waltzed into his restaurant and told him to head to his tower before he blows up Peppino's restaurant with a laser gun! Yup, it's one of those games.

Wiz: And thus, under the orders of this Pizza...face, Peppino set off into the fearsome Pizza Tower to save his business. Through the power of sheer rage and determination, this Italian chef blazed through many levels and enemies like there was no tomorrow. And for his restaurant, that would be the case if he didn't save it.

Boomstick: But Pizzaface wouldn't make it so easy. On each floor of the tower, he had bosses waiting to strike at Peppino. He hired a self-absorbed pepper with a talent for painting, a piece of melted cheese trying to play sheriff- uh, I mean vigilante- and even studied Jurassic Park genetics to make a frog-like clone of Peppino himself!

Wiz: But of course, our main focus for today is the boss on Level 3. You see, while many of Peppino's enemies were new faces he hadn't seen before, Pizzaface also made sure to hire a familiar rival from the restaurant owner's past.

Boomstick: And what better rival could there be to a pizza-selling chef than an expy of one of the most bizarre pizza, or anti-pizza, mascots ever known to man? Step aside Domino's, 'cause it's not the Noid we're talkin' about, but the acclaimed TV star and annoyance/troll/gremlin from this wacky cartoon world, The Noise!

Background

• Real Name: Theodore Noise (yes really)
• Aliases: The Noise, Noise
• Occupation: Rival to Peppino Spaghetti, star and possible owner/boss of NTV, Level 3 boss
• Very obvious parody of the Noid
  • To that end, The Noise also hates pizza, preferring candy instead
• Partner to Noisette
• Described as completely insane (which is very much believable)
• Noise is calling pick up phone

(Cue The Noise's Jam Packed Radical Anthem (Old) - Pizza Tower OST)

Wiz: The Noise, real name Theodore Noise, is the central star of the aptly named Noise TV, or NTV for short. He presents himself as a cheery and rather unhinged prankster who likes to toy around with other people, particularly Peppino.

Boomstick: So with that in mind, you can bet that when Pizzaface gave him the opportunity to fight Peppino, he not only eagerly jumped to the call, but decided to record and air the fight live for his channel! Wonder how many fans he has.

Wiz: This boss fight with Peppino is one of his only major appearances in the main game itself, but it is important to note that for this analysis, we will be pulling from other sources such as the previous Pizza Tower demos and the comics for additional information on The Noise's arsenal and capabilities. However, much like how we used Legends and the Disney canon for Darth Vader but still prioritized the main canon, the main game will take precedent as well.

Popup: To make it fair, The Noise will not get most of his transformations.

Boomstick: With all that noise out of the way, it's time to finally get into this guy's abilities and arsenal. And hoo boy... he's got a lot of stuff.

(Cue Pumpin’ Hot Stuff - Pizza Tower OST)

Abilities:

• Superhuman strength, durability and speed
• Mild toon force
  • Regeneration
  • Shapeshifting

Arsenal:

• Knife
• Red bat
• Revolver
• Pogo stick
• Skateboard
• Jetpack
• Hot air balloon
• Noise Bombs
• Noise Crusher
• Explosive decoys
• Sausage minigun
  • Never gets to actually use it in his boss battle
• Boxing glove gun
• Not milk
  • Whatever it is, it isn't any other bodily fluid either
• Washing machine

Summons:

• Noiseys
• Cameramen

Wiz: To start, despite what you may assume, The Noise is deceptively strong, fast and durable, in part thanks to the nature of the Pizza Tower universe itself. A lot of the characters seem to have some sort of toon force which allows them to pull off impressive physical feats and survive normally fatal things without a scratch. Sure, it's definitely not on the level as, say, Bugs Bunny's toon force, but it is still quite formidable.

Boomstick: To give you an idea of how busted this is, The Noise has been shown to be Peppino's equal, and Peppino can pull off some ridiculous stuff. He can break through marble bricks by running into them, survive slamming into walls and ceilings without much injury, smash through metal blocks if he runs fast enough, survive being at the tip of an exploding rocket, and MORE!

Wiz: That's right, Boomstick. Peppino is also fast enough to run at mach speeds, allowing him to clear rooms in seconds, and can somewhat react to bullets and even lightning if he times it right. Not to mention, Peppino can also jump extremely high with the Super Jump, and again, The Noise should be comparable to all of this, especially since he can pull off similar feats in the demos. But stats isn't all The Noise has in terms of physical abilities.

Boomstick: His toon force allows him to shift his body around in many ways. He can enlarge his head or arms to frightening levels in order to attack, regenerate from being burnt, extend his tongue, grab opponents with his massive jaws, turn into a f***ing rocket, and even POP HIS OWN HEAD LIKE A BALLOON AND GROW IT BACK!

Wiz: But where The Noise really shines is his extensive arsenal of weapons which he uses in battle... or for pranks, it depends.

Boomstick: Ohoho, now THIS will be fun! To start off, he's got a huge knife for stabbing enemies, a red bat to swing at people, and a revolver, which yes, is fully functional.

Wiz: The Noise also has several items he can use to jump around the place and generally make himself harder to hit. He can bounce around with his pogo stick, slide around with his skateboard that he can also kick towards his foes, which he probably has multiple of considering he breaks them mid-fight, fly around and even do his own Super Jump with the jetpack, and float above the competition with his hot air balloon.

Boomstick: And once he's up there, he'll drop sentient bombs right on your face! These Noise Bombs will hop around until they explode, but of course, if you run into them, they'll blow up right then and there! But wait, there's more! After he and Peppino get into a fight cloud and the giant Noise balloon in the background crashes into the arena, knocking away the cameramen, Ol' Theodore gets even MORE dangerous!

Wiz: Alongside his prior attacks, The Noise can now also attack with the Noise Crusher, which is just one of many gags he shares with the Noid, alongside things like the pogo stick and the giant balloon. With the Crusher, he can send out a shockwave powerful enough to send Peppino flying into the air. And don't get too confident when he jumps down from the hot air balloon, because there's a chance that The Noise you're rushing down is but a copy of the real deal that will explode if you get close.

Boomstick: Ah, a fellow man of explosives! Still don't believe me? Wait until you find out about the attack where The Noise's jet pack blows up and creates a giant explosion to get his enemies! Say, Wiz, are ya sure it's safe to have a live crowd? Think about the amount of bombs they'll both be slinging around!

Wiz: Eh, I'm sure it'll turn out fine. Plus, all those tickets bought by characters from different universes made us a lot of money, though it'll take me a while to convert everything into dollars.

Boomstick: Don't we gotta share some of it with that Pizza-

Wiz: Shhh, let's take about it when this is all over. But back to the topic at hand, as if all of that still wasn't enough, The Noise can even call in Noiseys to help fight. These walking heads will simply walk around and hit anything that gets close, but despite their simplicity, they can serve as great distractions.

Boomstick: There's also the cameramen, or uhhh, camera-Noises...? that record the fight. They don't really do anything though. But of course, The Noise has his ace in the hole: the sausage minigun! This baby fires out sausages for ammo, and in the boss fight proper, he uses it to... stand there and get taken away by his girlfriend? Aww man...

Wiz: Déjà vu, I see. Those are basically most of the main weapons, but the Noise has some miscellaneous stuff as well.

Boomstick: He has a boxing glove gun which he uses to punch... himself, a white fluid that he claims to be milk but is not that not any other bodily fluid (so every one of you can get your heads out of the gutter), aaaand a washing machine that he can ride on! He's also got more stuff in the demos like boxing gloves he uses to swing Greaseball and a comically tiny umbrella, but we've already covered the important stuff.

Wiz: With such a chaotic attitude and the extensive arsenal to match, this Noid knock-off has truly managed to accomplish some crazy things.

(Cue Pumpin' Hot Stuff (Vs Noise) Remix - Oofator)

Feats

• Fought evenly with Peppino in his boss battle and should scale to his feats
  • Even after an extensive battle, he was still ready to continue fighting until Noisette took him away
  • As a result he should also be able to keep up with Peppino's speed
• Survived fighting against an enraged Peppino and was in a well-enough condition to run through the entire Pizza Tower afterwards
  • An enraged Peppino was able to fight on par with Pizzahead, who could survive the entire Pizza Tower collapsing right on him with barely any real injury
• Regularly tanks his own explosions
• Can slam aganst walls and recover without even a bruise
• Managed to become even more successful after escaping the Tower, shown in the game's True Ending

Boomstick: As we mentioned before, this guy is Peppino's equal when it comes to combat and he has more than proven it. Even after taking many hits from the guy AND getting into not one, but TWO fight clouds with him, he was still ready to go until Noisette dragged him off!

Wiz: Once again, Peppino has many ludicrous feats under his belt like breaking marble and metal by running into them, surviving crashing into walls at mach speeds without even so much as a scratch, not to mention the times he has been crushed, burnt by lava and electrocuted by lightning... and came out perfectly fine. Even more impressive is the time The Noise contended with Peppino while he was enraged.

Boomstick: To sum things up, after fighting his way through the tower, it turned out Pizzaface was actually Pizzahead, some weird, really tall pizza mascot who cannot take anything seriously. This guy was able to perform some truly impressive stuff, like pulling up a level of the Pizza Tower itself to the top with some effort, turning the moon into cheese or some s**t like that, and even surviving the Tower collapsing right on him... with not even any actual injuries to show for it! He just laughs it off in the true ending!

Wiz: Granted, The Noise shouldn't fully scale, but given the sheer size of the Pizza Tower, especially with how some levels can contain entire cities or even environments similar to outer space, even partially scaling to Pizzahead surviving the collapse is nothing to scoff at at all. That's not even mentioning how Peppino straight-up piledrived the pizza mascot from the sky directly onto the tower's roof hard enough to crack it AND caused a hole to form. God, this game is just... pure insanity.

Popup: Even with the levels requiring entrance through portal doors that suggest they are somewhere else, the Pizza Tower is still a massive structure. Additionally, The Crumbling Tower of Pizza implies that these levels are still within the Tower itself regardless.

Boomstick: Peppino gave an absolutely BRUTAL beatdown to The Noise while enraged, and guess what? The gremlin was still well enough to follow him throughout most of the tower and its levels before it collapsed! Y'know, with all these feats, I'm starting to think Peppino and co. are immortal death gods or somethin'.

Wiz: Not at all, Boomstick. Despite the amount of things The Noise has went through, he is nowhere near flawless.

Weaknesses:

• Tends to enjoy messing around with his opponents and not take fights entirely seriously
• Will stop to taunt his foes, giving them a chance to hit him
• Extremely unhinged
• Still susceptible to injury
• Smokes a lot
• Noisette

Wiz: Theodore's biggest flaw is his inability to take fights seriously at first. Granted, it is nowhere near as bad as, say, Pizzahead, but he still tends to mess around with his foes when he can. A chief example of this is when he leaves himself open by taunting his foes in various ways. You can't really even chalk this one up to a game mechanic, he willingly stuns himself just to flip you off.

Boomstick: Not to mention, he's pretty darn unhinged and insane, in case you haven't figured it out already, and while it makes him incredibly dangerous and unpredictable, it can also lead to his downfall if one exploits it. Sure, the comics did sorta imply that his kooky act, is, well, an act, one he hates doing at that, buuuut then he got hyped up again after hearing of someone who runs really fast. I sure do wonder what would happen if he met Sonic- I mean Snick the Porcupine.

Wiz: And despite his toon force levels of durability, he's not completely invincible. After being dragged off by Noisette, he can be found all beat up in the slums, though he obviously recovers in time for the final fight.

Boomstick: Clearly, his biggest weakness is Noisette herself! No seriously, it's said that she annoys even him. Oh, and he smokes a lot, that's probably also another weakness of his.

Wiz: But despite his flaws, The Noise is undoubtedly one dangerous, wacky and nigh-unstoppable opponent. So if you're not ready to face the insanity this acclaimed TV star will bring, you should take a page from the company that inspired him, and Av-oise The Noise at all costs.

Boomstick: Wiz! I do the puns around here, remember?

"Hey-a! Howsabout a nice ride in this washing machine here? Admission is freeeee!"

Pre-Fight

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibities!

Boomstick: But first, we gotta get these two sponsors out of the way... take your seats, folks!

Vote in the poll!: https://strawpoll.com/Q0ZpRQNJDnM

Sponsor Segments- wait, this battle has sponsors?

MTT Segment

(Cue It's Showtime! - Undertale OST)

Wiz: This episode is brought to you by MTT uh... just MTT.

Boomstick: Are you craving for some high-quality television channels? What about a stay at a nice resort with food that's rocking the face of your favorite robot star? Then support the MTT-Brand and its various associated products!

Wiz: MTT offers many programs to watch, including a Quiz Show, Cooking with a Killer Robot, MTT News, and the special with a totally not-meta name, UNDERTALE The Musical, all televised on a regular basis! But if that's not enough for you, why not come on over to the famed MTT Resort?

Boomstick: The MTT Resort is a well-managed apartment-building turned hotel with room service that is always on time and a definitely-working elevator. Plus, it sells food items that can magically heal you up until you're good as new, including a steak shaped just like Ol' Mettaton!

Wiz: Performances are held on a regular basis here too, which is something you definitely do not want to miss out on.

Boomstick: That’s right Wiz! But if this totally high-quality resort ends up full from all the fans ol’ Mettaton has, he’s also hosting live travelling tours along with his buddies, so y’all might be lucky enough to catch them in your local area!

Wiz: So be sure to check out the MTT brand and all its associated options for entertainment, and also be absolutely sure you buy at least one (1) Glamburger, Legendary Hero, or Steak in the Shape of… Mettaton’s Face…

Boomstick: (distant) What even is this script? Like what the fu-

NTV Segment

(Cue The Noise’s Ringtone - Pizza Tower OST)

Boomstick: (distant) Don’t tell me this is gonna be the music for the entire read…

Wiz: (also distant) Don’t worry Boomstick, there’s only one more. (Clears throat) Ahem.

(Shuffling sounds are heard)

Wiz: This episode is also brought to you by Noise TV, or NTV for short.

Boomstick: If you’re looking for some… unorthodox entertainment, then this is the channel for you!

Wiz: NTV features a wide variety of shows that all feature our beloved, extremely smart and uh, charismatic leader…? The Noise. From live news reports to stage performances, cooking shows, and even more!

Boomstick: And if watching The Noise constantly torment- I mean prank, sorry- a not-humble-at-all Italian chef isn’t enough for ya, then come on over to the Noise TV outpost, located riiiiight in the middle of some desert.

Wiz: They serve all types of food there and regularly host parties. Examples of food and beverages include pasta, tequila, nachos, gummy bears, candy… Noisette’s special mix? Aaaaand not pizza. They don’t serve pizza. Speaking of parties, you’ll get to hear the vocal talents of The Noise’s prestigious allies, including… Pepperman, the Vigilante, and… Fake Peppino? Can- can they even si-

Boomstick: So if you’re ready to handle all that insanity, turn your stereo to NTV and keep it there! You’re gonna love it, I swear, you won’t ever be annoyed a bit… enjoy… why do these just sound like song lyrics?

Wiz: I dunno Boomstick, is that- that’s the end of the ad read! Finally…

Boomstick: Gotta be real with ya, I have no idea what half of this even means, but hey, it’s at least better than that Vought sponsorship we had a while back.

Wiz: I guess.

Boomstick: But whatever! With all that out of the way, IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

Death Battle!

Pizza Tower, Floor 3

The stage was set.

The cameras were ready.

The show was about to begin.

The excited audience eagerly waited for what was going to happen as they prepared for the event. People and entities of all shapes and sizes hailing from different places and times had gathered here to witness a battle the likes of which they had never seen before. To fit everyone who signed up to watch this unique event live, the boss room of Floor 3 had been completely refurbished into an area massive enough to hold a concert. The bouncy house that belonged to one of the two main stars now served as a stage, and instead of the usual purple sky behind the desert, massive spotlights shone down from the darkness, something the other star was well-known for.

Speaking of, the two were just about to make their arrival. But every event like this needed a proper introduction, and who better was there to do such a thing than a professional Ringmaster?

Ringmaster: Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone and everything else under the sun, it's time for what you have all been waiting for: the main event to "Glamorous Hot Stuff"! Our stars will be arriving on the stage shortly, so hold onto your hats, folks! As a reminder, our two combatants cannot call on audience members to help them, nor are any of you allowed to fight them yourselves! Otherwise, this is NO. HOLDS. BARRED! ARE YOU READY?!

The massive audience cheered loudly in response.

Ringmaster: That's what I wanna hear! Now, please welcome our first combatant, he's a robot with a knack for killer shows, a truly monstrous Underground star, please welcome MTT's Mettaton!

(Re-Cue It's Showtime - Toby Fox)

Half of the crowd cheered even louder as the fabulous rectangular robot rolled onto the stage with his one wheel, the panels of his face lighting up as he waved towards his adoring fans in the audience. He was gripping a mic in his right hand, and as he approached the Ringmaster, he began to speak.

Mettaton: WELCOME TO THE SHOW, DARLINGS!!! I ASSUME YOU'RE ALL GLAD TO SEE ME?

The crowd cheered again as several people began to chant Mettaton's name, causing the possessed machine to chuckle.

Mettaton: OF COURSE YOU'RE GLAD TO SEE ME! AND YOU BETTER BE READY, MY ADORING AUDIENCE. BECAUSE TONIGHT... THERE SHALL BE ACTION! DRAMA! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, BLOODSHED!!!

The audience continue to cheer and whoop, though several were a bit hesitant.

Mettaton: I'M SURE YOU'RE ALL JUST ITCHING TO SEE HOW WELL I CAN FIGHT! REST ASSURED, I'LL MAKE SURE TO GIVE YOU ALL A FINE DEMONSTRATION... ONCE MY OPPONENT ARRIVES TO THE STAGE.....

The robot briefly pauses.

Mettaton: WHERE IS THAT-

???: Right here!

Ringmaster: And there he is! Introducing our second combatant, a towering personality that loves pranks and hates pizza, an unstoppable force of chaos that makes his enemies fall like dominoes, please welcome The Noise of NTV fame!

(Cue The Noise - Pizza Tower OST)

Cheers arose from the massive crowd once again as a second figure strolled onto the stage. The shorter of tonight’s stars was dressed in a skintight jumpsuit, and a cape like some sort of strange superhero. In addition, The Noise was wearing an orange top hat and a monocle, and held a cup of tea in one hand as he walked, something which elicited chuckles from the audience. Once he got closer to the center, the gremlin proceeded to toss his fancy outfit aside, revealing his more iconic chef’s hat underneath the top hat as his smile grew wider.

The Noise: WOAG!

With the introductions complete, Mettaton waved to the crowd again as The Noise hopped in place, his grin growing even larger than it already was.

The place erupted with a roar of excitement as both grand personalities’ fans kept on cheering them on, their hype for the upcoming fight growing even more. In the front row VIP seats, the people closest to either star watched with anticipation. A cheery girl who resembled The Noise clapped for her partner, a monster resembling a dinosaur watched with equal parts pride and nervousness for her creation, a certain Italian chef frowned as he saw his rival take in all the praise, and a jacket-clad skeleton… slept through it all until a human next to him attempted to shake him awake.

As all this happened, Mettaton’s crew members were nearby, rushing to set up cameras. In turn, flying beings resembling The Noise’s head were floating in the background, one holding a mic to pick up sounds and the other holding a Noise-branded camera. After a few seconds, the cameras began to broadcast the event to both the MTT and NTV channels for fans at home to watch. The Ringmaster beamed with pride before speaking once more.

Ringmaster: Seems like we’re about to start! I’ll get going now and leave it to you two! Good luck, combatants!

The shades-wearing host chuckled and promptly exited the stage, leaving Mettaton and The Noise alone as they stared each other down.

Mettaton: IT SEEMS WE FINALLY MEET AT LAST. I’VE HEARD MANY THINGS ABOUT YOU, NOISE, AND I MUST SAY, FOR SOMEONE WHO PEOPLE SAID COULD MATCH MY HEIGHTS- YOU’RE LOOKING PRETTY SHORT, DARLING.

The Noise: That’s The Noise for you, ya talking calculator! And I hope you’re ready for a good ol’ fashioned beat-down, live on NTV!

Mettaton: OOOH, YOU’RE A FEISTY ONE! LET’S NOT KEEP THE AUDIENCE WAITING NOW, SHALL WE? THEY’RE JUST DYING FOR A GOOD SHOW, AND I HOPE YOU CAN PROVIDE!

As Mettaton spread his arms and began to laugh, the panels on his face flashing again, The Noise pulled out his trusty pogo stick from hammerspace, jumping towards his foe.

The Noise: HERE I COME!

Let the show begin!

(Cue Metal Crusher Cover - Gooseworx)

FIGHT!

For his part, Mettaton regarded the approaching Theodore with nothing more than a slight turn, seemingly unconcerned even as the mascot continued to leap towards him. With an excited yell, The Noise descended upon his foe with one more jump, hitting him right in the “face” with the tip of his pogo stick. Jumping back thanks to the force of the collision, NTV’s star grinned as he put his makeshift weapon away- only for his eyes to widen at what he saw next.

Mettaton was barely even scratched by his attack!

Mettaton: IS THAT ALL, DARLING? COME ON AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT!!!

The Noise shook his head and frowned in frustration before reeling his fist back and lunging at the rectangular robot. Once again, the Underground’s celebrity made no attempt to dodge or counter, merely standing there as the Floor 3 Boss closed the distance in mere seconds and landed a punch right in the middle of his glowing panels. Both stars remained silent…

…until Theodore jumped back, letting out a comical yell as he clutched his fist in pain. Seeing this, the undamaged Mettaton chuckled at his foe’s predicament before talking again.

Mettaton: OOOH, SEEMS THAT ONE DIDN’T DO IT EITHER, HUH? WHAT A SHAME, I WAS EXPECTING MORE OF A FIGHT!

Before The Noise could make another move, Mettaton pointed his finger forward and without warning, a beam of electrify shot out from it, striking the Noid-knock off. NTV’s star screamed in pain again as he was shocked and burnt, the sheer force of the attack sending him flying to the opposite side of the makeshift arena. The audience audibly gasped as The Noise hit the bouncy wall and fell to the floor, seemingly already defeated. MTT’s one and only simply scoffed as he ceased fire, turning to the audience with a robotic sigh.

Mettaton: APOLOGIES, DARLINGS! IT SEEMS MY OPPONENT COULDN’T PUT ON AS MUCH OF A SHOW AS I WANTED. DON’T WORRY, I’LL BE YOUR ENTERTAINMENT FOR TONIGHT!!!

As Mettaton continued to speak to the crowd, Theodore got up, anger building up in his face. He shook himself off, somehow restoring himself to a non-burned state, before calling out to his foe.

The Noise: Now listen here ya hunk of junk, I’m not out just yet!

Mettaton: OH? AND WHAT TRICK DO YOU HAVE FOR ME THIS TIME, DARLING?

As the robot turned towards the recovered mascot, he bore witness to a rather interesting sight: The Noise was now cruising towards him on a yellow skateboard, building speed as he got closer to Mettaton. Dr. Alphys' greatest creation once more didn't try to move out of the way, confident in the durability of his current body. With a yell, NTV's star jumped up while still on the skateboard, causing the object to smack Mettaton right in his face. Even as cracks appeared on his skateboard from hitting the ghost's metallic shell, The Noise was unbothered as he turned around for another go.

Mettaton: WATCH IT, REPLACEMENTS FOR THESE PANELS DON'T COME CHEAP-

The face of MTT paid for running his non-existent mouth as his foe suddenly swung at him with a red bat, clocking him with enough force to cause him to spin around. Though still undamaged, Mettaton was struggling to regain his bearings when The Noise kicked his skateboard towards him, sending him sliding back as Theodore's ride struck him so hard it snapped in half. Some people in the crowd began to cheer, while others were booing at the sight of The Noise gaining an edge.

In but a few seconds however, Mettaton was able to recover, turning towards his trollish opponent as light gleamed off of his scratch-free chassis.

Mettaton: IMPRESSIVE, DARLING! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, LIGHTNING DOESN'T STRIKE TWICE~

The Noise: Of course it doesn't!

The gremlin suddenly pulled out a yellow object before tossing it at his foe. The robot attempted to analyze it, noticing the goofy face, spherical shape, and on its top a... lit wick...

Mettaton: WAIT, IS THAT A-

KA-BOOM!

The audience yelped as a Noise Bomb suddenly exploded against MTT's main attraction, causing smoke to erupt as The Noise laughed with wicked glee.

The Noise: IT STRIKES THRICE!

The pizza-hating mascot's diabolic laughter continued to echo through the stage before the explosion cleared, revealing a soot-caked Mettaton with his panels all flashing red.

Mettaton: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY PRISTINE ROBOT BODY!!! HERE'S A PIECE OF ADVICE, DARLING, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO PLAYS WITH EXPLOSIVES~

The rectangular robot pointed forward before several box-shaped projectiles and a few bombs with crosses on them suddenly manifested out of thin air, launching themselves towards the bootleg Noid. The Noise immediately pulled out a brand-new skateboard out of thin air before he began to dodge the attacks, which were moving at a surprising speed. Theodore succeeded in dodging a few boxes before one hit him in the gut, and as he exhaled in pain, he noticed a bomb approaching and yelled loudly in fear before jumping up and forwards.

The bomb missed him by mere inches, instead blowing his second skateboard into pieces with a cross-shaped explosion that nearly struck The Noise too. The yellow-clad mascot spun in the air while ascending, and before Mettaton knew it, his foe was suddenly wearing a jetpack on his back as he grinned.

The Noise: Prepare to be blown sky-high, "darling"! WHE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HEEEEEE!!!

The chaotic prankster flew towards the robot, but unlike before, Mettaton actually decided to dodge to the side, watching as The Noise slammed into one of the walls, and bounced off of it as he began to spin around. Upon hitting the floor, he bounced off of it as well, and soon enough, NTV's star was bouncing all over the place. As the Underground celebrity watched in confusion, Theodore allowed himself to continue jumping around before he suddenly stopped spinning as he hit a wall again. As he bounced off of it and towards Mettaton, he reached behind himself and pulled out, of all things, a knife, causing gasps to erupt from the audience.

With a crazed yell, The Noise jabbed down, throwing sparks as metal clashed against metal. The robot slid back, clearly surprised at the sudden attack, before bearing witness to an even more outrageous sight: his yellow-clad foe was flipping him off! Mettaton's panels flashed red and he growled as he summoned several arm-shaped constructs which stretched towards the disrespectful star, fists at the ready.

Mettaton: HOW RUDE!

Theodore continued to stand there, only for the fists to punch him away as he was distracted taunting his opponent. Peppino's rival was sent flying back, but as he hit the wall, he jumped up and re-activated his jetpack, grinning as he observed the machine from above and called out mockingly.

The Noise: You got some fancy tricks yeah, but can ya flyyyyyyy?

Mettaton: OOOH, HERE'S A FUN FACT: I CAN!

Mettaton's wheel suddenly retracted into his body and instead, a jet flame flared out. MTT's main star laughed before he flew up with surprising speed, quickly catching up to The Noise in mid-air. As the airborne Theodore turned around with shock, Mettaton spoke to him again.

Mettaton: AND HERE'S ANOTHER FUN FACT, DARLING: MONSTERS CALL ME A KILLER ROBOT!

Right as he said this, the robot pulled out, of all things, a chainsaw, revving it as some people in the audience screamed. The Noise, who was circling around the hovering Mettaton, panicked before pulling out his knife, his mood changing back to chaotic craziness with a laugh. NTV's mascot charged towards his opponent, both preparing to clash blades in the craziest mid-air sharp weapon duel the audience had seen.

CLANG!

Chainsaw and knife collided with a loud noise, Mettaton and The Noise staring each other down as they attempted to push against each other. When that didn’t work, they flew back before swinging their respective weapons again, sparks flying everywhere as both weapons clashed again. Theodore then instead flew to the side of Mettaton, prompting the robotic celebrity to soar towards him as well. The second they were within range, their blades met each other once more. Both promptly decided to kick it up a notch, and soon, they became quick-moving blurs as they flew this way and that, the loud clanging of a chainsaw and knife ringing out repeatedly as they struck at each other mid-flight. The crowd was left in amazement every time they did, sparks flashing out with each hit.

Eventually, both flew back, revealing that neither had been hit directly with their foe’s weapon at all, though The Noise’s knife was visibly more dented than before. The yellow-clad star looked at his blade with a grimace before pulling out something else: a revolver. Several people in the audience gasped in horror (despite what they had already seen), and Mettaton seemed to agree with their sentiments.

Mettaton: OOOOH, WE CAN’T HAVE THAT, DARLING! THIS IS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY DEATH BATTLE!!!

The possessed machine suddenly chucked something at Theodore while he aimed his firearm at him. The gremlin was unable to react in time as a cloud of flour from a bag Mettaton was holding flew into his face, blinding him as he yelled out in surprise. The greatest creation of Dr. Alphys chuckled before advancing forward, chainsaw revving as he held hit up high. The Noise frantically wiped the flour from his eyes before seeing Mettaton flying right for him, and fired his revolver- causing a boxing glove to emerge and punch the robot right in the face!

Though it still wasn’t able to significantly damage the Underground star, Mettaton was caught off guard by the unexpected attack, giving NTV’s celebrity another chance for a free hit. The Noise pulled out his trusty red bat before smacking his robotic adversary with it, causing him to spin out of control and lose his balance mid-air. Now it was the rectangular machine’s turn to yell out in confusion as he was sent soaring down, Theodore chuckling as he watched from above and pulled yet another object from hammerspace.

Mettaton managed to regain his balance right before he could hit the ground, his rocket flame allowing him to levitate properly before he decided to retract it. MTT’s main attraction touched down onto the ground with his wheel and looked up, only to see yet another unexpected sight: The Noise was now hovering above him in a hot-air balloon shaped like his face!

(Cue "Glamorous Hot Stuff" - u/Consistent_Cry_7403)

Mettaton: DO YOU EVER RUN OUT OF TRICKS?

The Noise: Nnnnnnnope!

The Noise grinned down at his grounded foe before pulling out something and tossing it down from his ride. His robotic adversary was able to recognize the object's yellow color scheme along with its spherical shape and, learning from his mistakes, slid to the side as the Noise Bomb hit the ground before bouncing in one direction. As Mettaton watched this occur, the gremlin from NTV's hot-air balloon moved across the stage with surprising speed, and The Noise took the opportunity to lob down several more sentient bombs with a crazed expression on his face. The possessed machine was avoiding each one, but now they were jumping all over the place and he didn't have much more ground to cover.

Suddenly, the first one that was dropped exploded, distracting the Underground star as he turned to look at it. Unfortunately, this left him open to another one jumping right towards him, and before he could react, the Noise Bomb literally blew up in his face, sending Mettaton back and caking him with more soot. The machine wiped the smoke away before seeing a third one jumping close to where he was, and his finger began to spark with electricity before he fired another electric beam at the living explosive, detonating it far away enough from him. As yet another one of the yellow spheres fell from the sky, Alphys' greatest creation turned to look up at The Noise, before taking out several items of his own.

Mettaton: LET'S SEE HOW YOU HANDLE THESE!!!

Following that confident declaration, MTT's main star chucked one of the objects at a falling Noise Bomb, which turned out to be... a basketball? Theodore merely chuckled as both items made contact and-

KA-BOOM!

An explosion twice the size of the previous ones occurred, the shockwaves shaking the yellow-clad troll's ride before he hurriedly pulled on the side, readjusting it in mid-air. Though he was confused at first, it didn't take long for The Noise to put two and two together, and he gulped as he looked at Mettaton and his stockpile of cleverly-disguised bombs.

If Mettaton had a proper face, it would have been graced by the biggest grin on Earth.

With an arrogant air around him, the possessed machine began to chuck all sorts of items towards the gremlin, causing The Noise to yelp as he quickly tugged on his ride, making it move to the side as a present passed by and blew up against the ground. In quick succession, he flung another Noise Bomb at a movie script heading right for him, causing another massive explosion mid-air which blew back the rival to Peppino and his hot-air balloon. He grunted and once again tugged on the edges of his ride to stabilize it, before he saw Mettaton throw a white dog at him... only for it to sail to the side and explode against the inexplicably-durable bouncy castle wall as the arena shook.

The Noise: HA! YOU MISSED! AHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA- OH SHI-

Distracted from laughing at the insufficient throw, Theodore had no time to react as an extremely agile glass of water hit him in the face and blew up, destroying his ride and sending him plummeting towards the ground. This time, it was Mettaton's turn to laugh as his extremely agile glass of water had proven successful in bringing The Noise down in a very literal sense.

He continued to laugh as the smoke started to clear, only to be blindsided himself as his yellow-clad rival rushed out of the smoke on yet another skateboard, intent on ramming him. The robot quickly dodged to the side, and The Noise was quick to turn around to try again. However, as he did so, he thought he saw something on Mettaton's back right before the monster turned to face him. There was a word above it too which was pointing towards it like an arrow, but he couldn't read it fast enough. It almost looked like... a switch?

The Noise: Wait a second...

The Noise's mouth curled up into a sly smile, knowing what he had to do next.

Pulling out a pogo stick, the NTV star started jumping towards Mettaton, dropping yet another Noise Bomb on the way. The robot responded in kind by summoning more boxes and bombs of his own, sending them in patterns towards The Noise. With frankly impressive agility, Theodore began hopping over the attacks as the possessed machine continued to send more his way in the hopes that he would eventually get hit. Eventually, The Noise did slip up, and got hit by one box, then another that knocked him off his pogo stick. As if that wasn't enough, a bomb hit his ride, blowing it up and launching him away with the resulting cross-shaped explosion.

In no time at all however, the yellow-clad troll was back on his feet, stubborn as ever. Mettaton pointed forward before summoning more constructs of his arms, some with glowing yellow squares in the middle. Though confused, Theodore wisely didn't stick around to figure out what those were, and instead pulled out his jetpack once again before squatting down. The second before the arms reached him, NTV's mascot took to the air with a Super Jump, catapulting him into the ceiling. Contrary to what his grounded foe expected however, The Noise bounced off as he crashed against it before falling down, heading right for him.

Mettaton: OH NO YOU DON'T, DARLING~

The killer robot proceeded to pull out his chainsaw once again as he prepared to swing once Theodore was within range. The rival to Peppino's eyes bulged with shock at the sight... only to respond by merely reeling his arm back, preparing for a punch. Mettaton was about to question whether The Noise truly thought he could counter a literal chainsaw with his bare hands before the shorter of the two suddenly swiped forward with his arm while still far away, inexplicably causing it to grow in size and gain claws!

Mettaton: WHAT THE-

WHAM!

Alphys' creation was knocked away by a gigantic slap as his gremlin of a rival landed back onto the ground, his arm shrinking back to normal thanks to toon physics. He charged up for another go with his jetpack, and then rocketed forward with his feet aimed to hit Mettaton in a dropkick. Taken aback, the robot only had seconds to respond, and so he fired another devastating electrical beam from his hand at the yellow-clad mascot. However, despite being shocked to hell and back, The Noise continued to fly forward, before he finally made impact and unleashed the mother of all dropkicks on the robot, which managed to both knock him away and and cause him to spin out of control.

Mettaton: OH, SOMEONE HELP! I'M GETTING DIZZY! CAN ROBOTS EVEN GET DIZZY...?

Smacking against the wall, though he was slightly burnt, Theodore knew this was his chance. Shaking the burns off again, he pulled out something as he looked towards the stunned MTT star with an ever-so devious grin on his face. A few seconds later, as Mettaton began to stop spinning, he noticed something: The Noise had seemingly vanished. Where had that little co-star of his run off to now? The monster began to scan his surroundings, managing to sneak a quick wave to the excited crowd as he did so, but as he continued to search, he still couldn't see The Noise. There were only two possibilities: either he had run off like a coward, or he had once again decided to go u-

The Noise: SURPRISE!

Suddenly, The Noise leapt down from his hot-air balloon in the sky, landing right on Mettaton's back. Surprised, the robot began to glide around the stage as he attempted to pry off his opponent, but the yellow mascot clung onto him like an annoying insect. He chuckled and whooped as the possessed rectangular machine continued his attempts at shaking him off, the battle looking more like some sort of bizarre bull ride now, before he finally decided enough was enough.

The Noise: Here's a tip, pal: ALWAYS WATCH YOUR BACK!

Flick!

(Stop music)

The "thrashing" star of MTT suddenly stopped, uncharacteristically silent as something literally clicked. That sound could have only meant one thing...

Mettaton: DID YOU.

JUST FLIP.

MY SWITCH?

The Noise: Sure I did! Nighty-night!

Right as he finished saying this however, the robot began to rapidly shake as his panels began flashing, his hands grasping his head. The Noise wisely jumped off and backed away as Mettaton quaked faster and faster, before suddenly, a bright flash of light occurred, forcing the NTV mascot to shield his eyes quickly. As he did, he managed to hear a loud voice echo through the stadium right before the light began to die down...

???: OHHHHHH YEEEEEEEES~

The Noise looked around in confusion as everything suddenly went dark, all the lights in the area having inexplicably turned off. He could hear the crowd murmuring as well, with the yellow-clad mascot attempting to gauge his surroundings.

The Noise: Hey uh, can any of you tell me if I'm still standing on the stage? I can't see shi-

Theodore was cut off as he saw two objects descend from the ceiling, which he immediately recognized as stage lights. After moving into position, both suddenly switched on, illuminating a spot next to The Noise with smoke emerging out of nowhere to accompany the light. NTV's star was even more confused now, but as he stared at this bizarre sight, he suddenly made out a humanoid silhouette in the smoke.

Wait... who was that?

(Cue Oh My... - Toby Fox)

???: Ohhhhhh my... You're quite the impatient type, aren't you? My new body wasn't supposed to be shown off for a few more shows, you know...

The gremlin began to ponder on what this odd newcomer was saying before his eyes widened as he came to a realization.

The Noise: Hold up, that's what that weird switch does?! That thing should've shut ya off!

???: Seems like you took a risk, darling, and it didn't work out. Quite fitting for someone like you, isn't it?

The Noise frowned at this remark, but prepared himself as the obscured figure continued to speak.

???: Alas, with a face like yours, it doesn't seem fitting for me to give you such a handsome reward. However, I've been dying to show this new body off for a while now, and well, I don't have a choice, do I?

The Noise: Just cut the suspense already and lemme bash your new "handsome" face in, Mettaton ol' pal!

???: You really are a rude co-star... very well then.

(Stop music)

???: I'll make your last living moments...

In a flash of light, the darkness and smoke cleared, revealing Mettaton in his new, glamorous form.

Mettaton EX: ABSOLUTELY beautiful!

Upon seeing the impossibly fabulous robot standing on the stage, the crowd proceeded to let out a roar of sheer excitement that caused The Noise to cover his ears lest he go deaf. Mettaton smiled for the crowd before striking a pose, causing them to cheer even louder than they already were. Theodore shook his head at the praise his foe was getting before uncovering his ears as the noise (from the crowd) died down, before he raised his fists, ready to tango with Mettaton once more.

(Cue Death by Glamour - Toby Fox)

Mettaton EX wasted no time unveiling his new tricks, as constructs resembling his new legs began to pop out of the ground, heading right for his foe. The Noise quickly dodged to the side before pulling out his trusty bat and a new skateboard. He quickly hopped onto his new ride as the glamorous robot quickly sent more of his previous box attacks and bombs towards the gremlin. The Noise grinned before he struck a box aside, quickly leaping off his skateboard to barely avoid a bomb as it sailed below him. He continued to stylishly dodge the projectiles, chuckling as he jumped above, swerved around, and bat aside Mettaton’s attacks.

As he did this, Mettaton was suddenly alerted to something, and he quickly glanced to the side. There near the stage was a ratings graph that had somehow manifested, and according to its display, The Noise’s stunts were raising the views at a quick rate. The ronot’s eyes widened in surprise before he quickly turned towards Theodore, smirking as he thought of something.

Mettaton EX: Would you look at that, not only have you adjusted to my style fast, but you’re even raising my ratings! I think you deserve a price, darling~!

Following this statement, several miniature versions of Mettaton’s prior form floated down from the heavens with umbrellas, before blowing heart-shaped kisses at The Noise, who whooped in joy at this.

The Noise: Thaaaaaaaat’s right, gimme the spotlight, you little- YOW!

Theodore was suddenly struck in the face by one of the hearts, knocking him off his skateboard and onto the stage.

Mettaton EX: Ooh! Looks like they got a little too rough there…!

The Noise quickly got up, leaping to avoid the rest of the hearts before pulling out his revolver once more. With an enraged expression, he began to fire at the mini-Mettatons, causing the audience to cover their ears as gunshots rang through the stadium. Each of the tiny robots exploded into pieces, the real Mettaton frowning as they were destroyed. Theodore soon turned towards his foe once more, immediately running towards him with his trademark maniacal expression.

Mettaton EX: You're fast, "darling", but are you good on the dance floor?

The Noise: Do ya ever stop talking?

Ignoring his co-star's snarky comment, Mettaton summoned yet another new attack of his: a disco ball that descended from the ceiling. The Noise blinked in surprise, but kept running until he reached his foe, whereupon he proceeded to do something completely unexpected: lunge forward with his head increasing in size, suddenly grabbing onto Mettaton's form with an enlarged set of sharp teeth!

Mettaton EX: Agh! What the?!

Theodore began to slam his foe down onto the ground with his mouth, only to get interrupted as the disco ball emitted lasers, two white ones striking his cartoonishy-distorted head. The Noise immediately recoiled in pain, proceeding to toss Mettaton away with his jaws as his face contorted back to normal. The disco ball began to spin, and the gremlin braced himself as a blue laser came towards him, only for it to inexplicably pass through his body. Meanwhile, Mettaton groaned as he got up, quickly summoning more arm constructs and bombs and sending them towards The Noise.

The star of NTV, seeing another white laser was coming towards him, suddenly pulled out his jetpack and leapt upwards, narrowly avoiding the beam of light before pulling out another Noise Bomb and tossing it towards the disco ball. With a booming explosion, the disco ball was separated from the ceiling, crashing onto the ground and shattering as The Noise flew through the explosion to ram Mettaton. The robot was sent back as Theodore slammed into him, however the favor was soon returned with an arm construct smacking the flying yellow-clad mascot in the face. Both quickly recovered, ready for more.

Mettaton EX: Just try and keep up, darling~

Mettaton proceeded to summon another barrage of boxes and bombs, sending the projectiles towards The Noise. The yellow gremlin pulled out his pogo stick, and, in a moment of ingenuity, hopped onto one of the boxes, the tip breaking the projectile apart. He continued to leap on top of each of the projectiles, occassionally striking a pose in mid-air, getting closer and closer to the robot with each jump. However, the star of MTT seemed to be distracted with something else...

Mettaton EX: My, look at these ratings! They're some of the highest I've seen in months!

The crowd both cheered and booed as Theodore finished hopping across the storm of projectiles, leaping down towards the possessed machine. Mettaton was too slow to react before The Noise pulled out his revolver and fired it right into his face, causing a boxing glove to sock the Underground's star right in his stylish face. Mettaton was sent flying before he hit the wall, bouncing off of it and landing on the ground in a certain memetic pose. His foe laughed and pointed at him before flipping the bird once more, causing the ratings to drop on the screen they were being displayed at.

Mettaton quickly got up, looking towards the screen and gasping as he saw that his ratings were dropping from The Noise's rude behavior. His eye somehow twitched in rage, despite his mechanical nature, and he quickly channeled monster magic into his own arm, extending it and grabbing Theodore by the neck as the latter's eyes popped out comically.

Mettaton EX: Now look what you have done to my ratings! You better watch your behavior, "co-star", or else I'll ensure that-

The Noise: -you'll learn to stop blabbering for once!

The robot heard The Noise speak out, except... it was from behind him. Wait, if that was the case, then what was he holdi-

KABOOM!

The Noise decoy in Mettaton's hand inflated and exploded, throwing him backwards violently as he bounced against the floor. Theodore wagged his finger tauntingly before looking at the crowd and dancing in victory, unaware that the taller Mettaton was slowly rising behind him, his eye glowing an ominous purple. The crowd all gasped and yelled as some of them tried to point behind The Noise, which only confused him as he stopped dancing.

The Noise: What? What's behind me?

Suddenly, a heart and a bomb collided against the NTV mascot's back, causing him to yell as he was flung forwards directly to the edge of the stage. He looked up, briefly seeing the audience at the VIP section. Peppino glared at him, Noisette looked shocked, Alphys was nervously cheering Mettaton on, and Sans simply stared at the fallen star before winking. The Noise, injured, still grinned at them and waved in a nervous manner, before he hearn his foe's voice boom out behind him.

Mettaton EX: I see how it is. You think acting like a rude, stuck-up snob will get you attention, Theodore?

The gremlin got up shakily, slowly turning around.

Mettaton EX: I'm afraid that isn't what the people want. Trust me, as someone with experience, what the crowd always desires from a star is...

The Noise faced Mettaton, shocked to see a collection of mini-Mettatons, boxes, bombs and leg constructs surrounding him, all ready to be unleashed upon the yellow-clad mascot.

Mettaton EX: PRESENTATION!

Theodore gulped as he stood and took in all of it, uncharacertistically stunned.

Mettaton EX: What's wrong, darling, is there no way out of this for you now?

The Noise: That's what you think...

Mettaton's foe steeled himself, pulling out his skateboard.

The Noise: But the problem is...

He got onto it and prepared to rocket towards the barrage of attacks, slowly beginning to grin.

The Noise: ...you don't think like ME!

In an unexpected move, The Noise suddenly turned around and propelled himself forward, performing a skateboard jump right into the gathered crowd!

The Noise: HERE I GO! WHEEEEEEEEE-

Mettaton EX: WHAT?!

(Cue U.N. Owen Was Her? - Touhou Genso Rondo Bullet Ballet Music)

Mettaton stared in shock as the crowd scrambled to make way for The Noise, dividing before him as he skated madly through the stadium. The robot groaned in irritation; his foe’s other antics were one thing, but endangering the crowd?! Now that was low! His one visible eye narrowed as he waited for the perfect opportunity to continue attacking, not wanting to hit anyone except his target. While all this was going down, The Noise was having the time of his life, doing aerial kicks, flips and spins as the crowd rushed to make more space. Several people bolted for the exit, clearly panicked, with the rest gasped as they saw a hail of projectiles locking in on NTV’s mascot.

Theodore looked behind himself and grinned before zooming ahead, avoiding several boxes as they crashed into the ground and shattered. He began to weave around the panicked audience, leg constructs erupting from the ground as he did so. The Noise laughed as the legs missed his agile form, with him even grabbing onto one of them to spin himself around. Many observers began to gather around the scene, watching as The Noise continued to run from Mettaton’s wrath. Soon, the skateboarding yellow mascot was zooming ahead in a straight line, more projectiles chasing him down as Mettaton’s voice boomed from the stage.

Mettaton EX: STAY STILL!

Instead of doing that, the NTV star did something else: he pulled out another skateboard from thin air before chucking it over his head and towards Mettaton! For good measure, he then proceeded to toss several Noise Bombs into the mix, which caused more of the crowd to begin scrambling in panic. Soon, explosions began to shake the stadium as the bombs collided with boxes, hearts, and mini-Mettatons, causing the chaos to reach a fever pitch. While all this was happening, a few specific members of the crowd were doing their best to survive the now-destrucive brawl.

A gi-clad warrior and green-clad plumber were running for cover, occassionally tossing stray bombs into the air. As they did this, a giant glove and purple alien began to blast the projectiles headed their way as they teleported to the exit. Meanwhile, two priestesses were shielding spectators from the attacks, one of them whacking a stray arm construct out of the way. Two small animals bolted for the exit, passing by a robotic hedgehog, a blood-crying hedgehog, and a cyborg stickman, who all began to fly towards The Noise before a random bomb blasted them back.

The Noise: Who were those bozos?

Mettaton facepalmed in irritation.

Mettaton EX: Those were the contract-mandated guest cameos! Now how are we supposed to interview them?!

The Noise, still riding his skateboard, ignored his co-star's comment and grinned as he thought of another idea. He reached into hammerspace and pulled out yet another object before tossing it at Mettaton as the robot continued to summon more magic attacks. Alphys' creation only had time to see that it had his foe's face and tiny legs before the Noisey leapt onto his face and began to viciously attack him, causing the machine to shout in horror as he attempted to pry the creature off. Theodore laughed so loudly that his cackles boomed throughout the entire arena, before suddenly being blindsided as several projectiles struck him from behind, having went backwards on their previous paths thanks to the power of REC and REW.

Terrified screams filled the place as more people attempted to escape, tugging at the doors and striking them with whatever abilities or weapons they had, only for none of them to somehow get through. With this came more space for Mettaton and The Noise to brawl, with the robot taking the opportunity to summon his signature disco ball and have it fire beams that blocked The Noise's path as he finally threw off the Noisey blocking his vision. The ratings were jumping up and down at inconsitent rates by this point, but thanks to the sheer irritation Mettaton was feeling from fighting The Noise, he had all but forgotten about them for now.

Mettaton EX: Enough of this nonsense! You may have the tenacity, darling, but you don't have the heart~

As he said this, his chest compartment opened and a heart flew out, suddenly letting out a blast of electricity that fried The Noise as he screamed, the beams from the disco ball also striking him. Eventually, it became too much for the star of NTV, and his head promptly exploded into smoke, his body going limp as several members of the audience gasped and shrieked.

Mettaton EX: S-sorry, didn't mean to overdo it!

Much to his shock however, The Noise stood up again before a new head popped back into place, grinning smugly at the machine as he shook off his injuries. The yellow gremlin let out a war cry before leaping onto the robot's face, his fingers turning into claws as he swiped at him. Mettaton yelled and cursed as he attempted to kick or punch his foe off, both of them now completely focused on the fight. As they did this, they failed to notice something else: The Noise's giant balloon was floating through the void right towards the stage! It was only when it came within their peripheral vision did they finally turn to look at it, briefly pausing their fight as a result.

The Noise screamed in terror while Mettaton's eyes widended comically before the balloon slammed into the stage hard enough to shake the entire stadium and knock aside the NTV cameramen.

With this, the crowd continued to panic even more as the place continued to get torn apart. Mettaton and The Noise however, now even more on edge thanks to the balloon's collision, glared at each other before Theodore leapt at the robot, both entering a fight cloud which zoomed throughout the stage. Eventually however, after all the chaos, someone made a breakthrough.

Random person: THERE!

The sound of a gigantic lock being undone echoed throughout the place, which both celebrities ignored as they continued to brawl with each other. However, the crowd obviously didn't, and they began to push and shove at the gigantic doors to escape this surprisingly-dangerous nightmare. Slowly, the doors began to shake, slowly being forced open but still resisting and remaining closed, like they were chained shut.

(Pause music)

Meanwhile, just outside, a smoking animal-like monster was talking to a shorter being in a pizza-themed outfit, complete with a robe and hat.

Burgerpants: I swear, they don't pay me enough for this.

Dougie Jones: We need a raise...

(Resume music)

Suddenly, the door burst open, the crowd immediately bolting through in a panic and trampling the MTT employee and Pizzard as they scrambled to finally escape the stadium. The entire floor shook as the arena was emptied out, a poster flying from the wall and landing on the floor. Only then did Mettaton and The Noise notice the commition, with both suddenly panicking as their audience left them.

Mettaton EX: Wait, NO NO NO! COME BACK, PLEASE!

The Noise: We'll give you all the food and autographs you'd like!

Alas, it was to no avail, and the gathered crowd soon completely left the area, just in time for an injured Burgerpants and Dougie to get up from the floor, covered in cartoonish bruises. The Noise motioned for them to close the doors, which they did, and as they slammed shut, both celebrities turned towards each other.

Mettaton EX: NOW look what you have done! Because of your little antics, our audience is now gone, and no one is watching us now- oooh, except for them!

Mettaton suddenly turned towards one surviving camera and began to strike his famous poses, winking as he did so.

Mettaton EX: Just focus on me, and only me~

However, that came to an abrupt end as The Noise suddenly ran up to the camera and punched it, destroying it.

(Fade out music)

Mettaton EX: Are you sick in the head?! Oh, I should’ve known sooner…

As Mettaton admonished his foe, The Noise simply stood there in silence, staring at the broken camera. After a few seconds, he began to chuckle, then laugh loudly, which only confused the robot even more.

Mettaton EX: What?! What’s so funny!?

(Cue Distasteful Anchovi - Pizza Tower OST)

The Noise: You don’t get it, do you? Now that no one’s watching us, ol’ Noise finally has a chance to cut loose!

The yellow mascot grinned, which only unnerved Mettaton as Theodore continued speaking.

The Noise: This one’s gonna be real fun, co-star… I’ll show you just what I can REALLY do!

Mettaton backed off, now slightly disturbed, but steeled himself and conjured up several more projectiles, ready to continue the fight. As he did, he noticed The Noise pulling out yet another object from hammerspace, chuckling evily.

Mettaton EX: If you think you’re getting the best of a star like me, darling, then you have another thing comi-

Faster than he could have predicted, Theodore suddenly blasted forward with his jetpack, grabbing Mettaton by the head and slamming him into a wall. He began to grind the robot’s head against the brick, before several legs erupted from beside Mettaton’s form, punting him back. The glamorous monster wasted no time and immediately flung several bombs at his now-unhinged adversary, which lit up the empty arena in a series of dazzling cross-shaped explosions. After shielding his eye with his arm, Mettaton lowered it, only for his pupil to shrink at the sight he saw next.

Descending from the heavens was The Noise, ready to destroy him with an utterly gigantic Noise Crusher! The robot gasped before moving to the side in order to not get crushed into parts, but the shockwave still sent his thin form flying through the air, causing him to bounce off of the Noise Balloon and back onto the stage. Now getting desperate, he immediately began to fire more projectiles than ever before at The Noise, activating his REC ability in order to blindside the gremlin once again. In response, the NTV star enlarged his hand before slapping the projectiles away, accidentally activating a bomb which hit him with another cross explosion. Mettaton attempted to take advantage of this by using REW on the remaining attacks, however, The Noise saw it coming from the side and jumped up, summoning his Noise Balloon.

The yellow-clad mascot laughed even harder before chucking more Noise Bombs and Noiseys from his Balloon, forcing Mettaton to block with leg constructs and boxes. As he yet again sent out more of his attacks though, the machine noticed something worrying: he was beginning to feel weaker. That could only mean one thing: his battery life was running out.

Mettaton EX: No… not now!

He had to end this fight soon. With his magic, Mettaton summoned more miniature versions of himself around The Noise, which all blew hearts towards him and his balloon. As his ride popped, the gremlin jumped off, deploying his Noise Crusher once more. The resulting shockwave nearly knocked Mettaton off of his feet, but he persisted, lengthening his arms before reaching towards Theodore with them. The yellow mascot noticed it a second too late and was snatched from his Crusher by the enraged machine, who began to slam him anywhere he could before tossing him towards the ceiling, leaving behind a Noise-shaped hole. The performer pointed upwards, sending more mini-Mettatons, boxes, and bombs into the hole.

Thus, like a certain pony-opposing robot, he glanced at where he had sent his opponent flying, waiting for something to happen.

(Music fades out)

The faint sound of explosions rang out from the hole, causing Mettaton to raise an eyebrow, but still he remained cautious. After a few more seconds, nothing happened still, and so he called out to his smaller foe, wherever he was now.

Mettaton EX: Are you finished now, darling? It's your curtain call.

Nothing answered him verbally, but slowly, he began to see something within the Noise-shaped hole. Something yellow, with manic, spiral eyes, and an utterly massive grin.

(Music fades back in)

Mettaton summoned more attacks to his side, readying himself for what was about to happen next, but what arrived after a few seconds was something no amount of anticipation could have ever prepared him for.

Blasting out of the hole was The Noise, now inexplicaby transformed into a miniature rocket with his face on the end of it! He grinned as he soared towards the shocked robot, who fired his projectiles, only for the mach-speed gremlin to barrel through all of them, even a bomb which left him burnt-looking. Mettaton shielded himself a second before the rocket-Noise crashed into him, shaking the empty stadium with a massive explosion.

When the smoke cleared, The Noise, now back to normal, jumped back, surveying the results of his attack. Mettaton looked in dismay as he saw that the attack was so powerful, both of his arms had been blasted clean off, now laying on the floor. The yellow gremlin sucked in air as if flinching at the injury, before he turned towards Mettaton with a slight smirk like the annoyance he was.

The Noise: Ready to call it quits now? I don't think ya have a choice!

Mettaton EX: Heh... just because I lost my arms? I don't need arms with legs like these! And besides, I'm far from out of options.

Surprised at his robotic foe's tenacity, The Noise was suddenly struck from behind by a single box which launched him towards Mettaton, causing him to slam into his chest and fall to the ground. Before he could get up, Mettaton stepped on his cape, causing the mascot to stop lest he tear it. The rival to Peppino slowly looked up at his foe, the machine's one visible eye glowing as he himself smiled.

Mettaton EX: You're quite the poor excuse for a star, darling, but maybe a little heart-to-heart from me will show you how to really make it big.

The armless robot's chest compartment opened, revealing his heart, and before The Noise could prepare, Mettaton let loose with all his power, sending a continous blast of electricity from his heart. Theodore let out an echoing scream as his vision went yellow, volts shocking and scorching him as he was pinned down. Despite the fact that he could feel himself losing power, the machine didn't let up, continuing to unleash more electricity in an attempt to finally take The Noise down for good. Both continued to struggle, one to attack and the other to survive, until something broke the stalemate.

The sound of a glass shattering came out of nowhere, and Mettaton stopped emmitting electricity as he suddenly felt himself begin to short-circuit, a liquid now splattered on his head. His heart began to slide back into its proper place, but a bullet suddenly smacked into it, causing the robot to scream in agony as he continued to malfunction. The Noise, burnt and injured, looked at the shattered bottle of not-milk in his hand, which had caused Mettaton's current condition, and the revolver in his other hand. It was a miracle he managed to pull out the former in the midst of that excruciating experience, but it was all he needed to escape.

Another explosion rang out as one of Mettaton's legs was blasted off, causing him to fall to a knee as he continued to spark and stutter. The Noise began to approach him, but didn't make a move to attack. Instead, he simply spoke to his opponent.

The Noise: Newsflash, tin can: I already know how to make it big.

(Fade out music)

Soon, Mettaton stopped malfunctioning, but it was clear that the damage was already done. Smoke curled off of his metallic husk as he propped himself up from the floor on only one knee, looking up at The Noise. However, the yellow mascot noticed something: it wasn't an expression of defeat, instead, it was one of... defiance.

Mettaton EX: I... I see it now.

The Noise raised an eyebrow, but didn't interrupt as he continued speaking.

Mettaton EX: I see what lies within your SOUL now, Theodore. Your ferocity, your viciousness... you're quite the violent type, aren't you? Ah... I suppose I should tell you a secret then. This body wasn't originally made for performing. No, I had a different purpose once.

The Noise: Eh?

Mettaton EX: Originally, I was once a human-extermination machine. And though I may have been repurposed, even now, traces of my original function still lie inside me... and now I suppose, just for you...

I'll give it a test run.

The damaged robot smirked before being enveloped in a bright white light that engulfed the entire stadium.

When it cleared, Mettaton stood there with an even more imposing appearance. He had gigantic blade-like shoulders, refurbished, sharp-looking boots on his now-restored legs, and his hair was flipped up (with all traces of the not-milk gone), revealing a second glowing, pinprick eye. However, his most notable changes were the return of his arms, one now resembling a cannon, and the addition of gigantic, glowing wings from his back, which nearly blinded The Noise.

This was Mettaton NEO.

Mettaton NEO: NOW YOU STAND BEFORE THE DAZZLING STAR OF THE UNDERGROUND, THE TRUE FORM OF THE DOCTOR'S CREATION! IT'S ABOUT TIME WE END THIS SHOW, DARLING. ANY LAST WORDS?

The Noise stared at his foe's new appearance before pulling out his trusty bat, narrowing his eyes and saying nothing. As both stars stared each other down, they knew one thing:

For one of them, this would be their final performance.

(Cue Undertale - Power of NEO (IKARUS Remix))

Before The Noise could swing, Mettaton NEO rocketed forward at blinding speeds, reaching forward and tackling the yellow-clad mascot. In but a second, he slammed into the wall, blasting open a hole in it and flying through several other levels before eventually bursting out of the Tower itself. From the perspective of the crowd, who were still trying to recover from the chaos they had just been through, on ground level, they could see both stars explode out of the building, slowly descending as they continued their brawl.

The Noise punched Mettaton off mid-air before hopping into his hot-air balloon once again. He began to toss Noise Bombs and Noiseys at Mettaton, who responded by countering with his own boxes and bombs, which Theodore did his best to avoid. The sky was lit up by explosions as the two circled around each other and their attacks, however, with his new arm cannon, Mettaton put a stop to that by firing a blast of energy at The Noise's balloon, destroying it and causing him to fall. However, the NTV mascot soon pulled out his jetpack, flying right for Mettaton with hatred in his eyes.

With equal aggression, Mettaton flew towards him as well, and soon the two collided in mid-air. At surprising speeds, they then began to fly all over the place, slamming into each other over and over as they blitzed through the air. The Noise whacked Mettaton NEO with his bat twice, being met with a kick that sent him back in response. The human-exterminating machine then charged up a blast and fired, but The Noise saw it coming and flew up, avoiding the projectile. Mettaton's eye twitched before he blasted forward once again.

Mettaton NEO: ENOUGH OF THIS!

The main icon of MTT tackled The Noise once again, the latter beginning to struggle against him. As a result, they begun to spin out of control, and, as the shocked crowd watched from below, both dueling celebrities eventually descended out of view, just behind the grandiose Pizza Tower itself. At this point, the two were just trading blows with each other, but eventually, Mettaton knocked The Noise away with yet another bomb that damaged his jetpack as well. Frowning, the gremlin countered with a Noise Bomb that also blew Mettaton back, and with those two attacks, both began to plummet towards the ground.

Mettaton gained a scared expression before he quickly redirected more power to his wings, allowng himself to stabilize his falling form before he landed on his feet. The Noise, in contrast, attempted to save himself with a little umbrella, but it was not nearly enough and with a scream, he hit the ground, causing a dust cloud to erupt. As Mettaton began to approach his foe to check his condition, the robot was suddenly met with several bullets to his body followed by a skateboard that shattered upon hitting him in the head. MTT's manager stumbled back, noticing that his new form was already damaged. As the dust cleared, The Noise got up, also covered in injuries and bruises, yet defiant as ever as he wielded his revolver. He attempted to fire once again, only for several clicks to indicate it was empty. At this, Theodore frowed before tossing aside the empty gun.

Mettaton NEO: NO MORE WEAPONS, I SEE. WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW, THEODORE?

The Noise: Maybe... just one more... heh... I've been waiting to use this baby again.

With that ominous statement, The Noise pulled out his final hail mary of the fight: his Sausage Minigun. With a determined expression, he hefted it and aimed at Mettaton, who also aimed his arm cannon at the NTV mascot.

The Noise: TIME TO RIDDLE YA WITH HOLES! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Without warning, The Noise began to fire upon Mettaton, who grunted as he felt the surprisingly-powerful ammo further damage his robot body. But still, he kept his arm cannon focused as it began to charge one final blast. Theodore continued firing upon Alphys' greatest creation, but alas, nothing was going to stop what was about to happen.

Mettaton NEO: GOT YOU.

Suddenly, an absolutely massive blast exploded out of Mettaton's arm cannon, headed straight for The Noise. Peppino's rival saw the oncoming projectile but could do nothing but scream before it hit him, a massive explosion rocking the entire area. Chunks were sent flying everywhere as Mettaton stared at the explosion his attack had caused, sighing in relief as he then looked down at his torn body.

Mettaton NEO: FINALLY...

(Music fades out)

Chunks of the ground, that is.

RATATATATATATATATATATAT!

Mettaton NEO was caught off guard as more shots fired out from the smoke cloud the explosion had caused, ripping apart his robotic body furher until his arms were (again) blasted off. When the smoke cleared, he saw an impossible sight: The Noise was standing there, injured, but still alive and firing the Sausage Minigun!

After a few more seconds, the barrage stopped, leaving the monster to stagger back as he groaned at his recent injuries. Suddenly, as he looked back at where his opponent was, he beheld The Noise leaping towards him with his pogo stick, before jumping up in the air, the tip aimed right at Mettaton's midsection!

Mettaton NEO: NO, WAIT-

CRASH!

With how damaged his already relatively fragile NEO body had become, the impact of The Noise's pogo stick, combined with his depective level of strength, was enough to split Mettaton in half, causing his torso to land on the ground. His wings soon flickered and shorted out, leaving the machine defenseless as a beat-up Noise strolled up to him with a smile.

Mettaton NEO: SO... I GUESS YOU DON'T WANT TO JOIN MY FAN CLUB?

The Noise: Nnnnnnnnnope, but you shoulda joined mine!

Mettaton NEO: AH... I GUESS THIS IS IT THEN.

The Noise: Wrong-o! I still have one last trick for ya!

Mettaton NEO: WAIT, WHAT?

The limbless Mettaton then saw The Noise pick up his pogo stick before getting ready to swing it like a golf club, causing his eye to widen in horror.

Mettaton NEO: WAIT WAIT, NONONONONONONONONO-

THWACK!

With one final swing, Mettaton's head was sent flying off of his body and into the early morning sky, where it disappeared with a twinkle. The Noise looked up at the sight, silent for a few seconds, before declaring...

The Noise: WHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! I WON!!!

The NTV mascot, now truly victorous, pulled out a boombox and began to dance happily next to his foe's remains with a massive smile on his face.

KO!

We then cut to a later scene, framed like a news report. Ringmaster is holding a mic, The Noise standing next to him. Behind them, the crowd has gathered around the remains of Mettaton, with several of them calling for a medic or mechanic. Other members are watching Ringmaster and Theodore as they address the camera.

Ringmaster: So, how was the fight, Noise?

The Noise: That was a whole lotta fun, I tell ya! That hunk of junk didn't stand a chance!

The Noise continued to dance before Noisette suddeny walked in from the left of the screen, dragging him away as he let out sounds of protest. Ringmaster simply watched him leave, before turning to the camera.

Ringmaster: And that marks the end of our special event, "Glamorous Hot Stuff"! Now, back to you, Wiz and Boomstick!

The camera then cuts out.

Results

(Cue Pumpin' Hot Stuff (DELUXE MIX) - BlueElectric05)

Boomstick: WHAT?! I just… HOW!?

Wiz: What seems to be the problem, Boomstick?

Boomstick: I was betting everything on Mettaton! How did a glamorous, gorgeous, human-exterminating machine like him lose to a goddamn Noid clone of all things?!

Wiz: Well, The Noise may indeed be a silly parody of an anti-pizza mascot, but when it came down to it, he had all the advantages he needed to render MTT’s icon a fallen star.

Boomstick: Now, that isn’t to say Mettaton didn’t have advantages. With scaling to Frisk’s dodging of projectiles resembling meteors, lightning and electricity, he had a notable speed advantage, and his many attacks could definitely trip ol’ Theodore up. But unfortunately, The Noise took almost everything else.

Wiz: Mettaton’s ability to bust down walls and scaling to Undyne’s boulder suplexing were certainly impressive physical feats on their own, but against The Noise regularly tanking slamming into metal and point-blank explosions, and his own partial scaling to an enraged Peppino and Pizzahead, the latter of whom survived the collapse of the entire Pizza Tower itself and all its gigantic levels with barely any real, lasting injuries, Mettaton had no hope of competing in the strength or durability departments.

Boomstick: While both can have quite the psychotic edge when they need to, The Noise is also far more aggressive and used to whaling on his opponents up close, with his own ranged options to counter Mettaton’s various projectiles. And sure, while Mettaton is faster, with Peppino being able to dodge bullets and somewhat avoid lightning, The Noise was at least fast enough to keep up and not just get speedblizted.

Wiz: Additionally, Mettaton isn’t exactly the dodging type. While yes, The Noise’s penchant for taunting will definitely allow the robot’s attacks to land more than a few times, with his own habit of zooming around the place, he would also more than likely land a few hits on Mettaton. And unlike Mettaton, The Noise can actually afford to take those hits thanks to his toon force, which could allow him to recover from even the most fatal of injuries.

Boomstick: “But Wiz and Boomstick”, I heard you saying, “wouldn’t Mettaton’s targeting of souls render any physical toon force null and void?” Well, the problem is, it’s a little more complicated than that. Yes, magic attacks from monsters in Undertale primarily attack the soul, but as we see with Toriel launching away Flowey, they also work on the physical level in some way. And if we are going to say that Mettaton’s attacks do indeed target the soul, we don’t exactly have much basis for just how many attacks The Noise’s soul could theoretically tank before he goes bye bye.

Wiz: In short, applying the whole “SOUL mechanic” outside of Undertale, while still worth looking into in VS debates, gets a little too complicated once you get into the nitty-gritty of it, and so the only basis we have for how well The Noise could tank Mettaton’s attacks would be his physical stats, which can still work as, again, Undertale monsters’ attacks are also physical on some level. And as we’ve already established, The Noise has far too much of a durability edge for Mettaton to affect him in any meaningful way.

Popup: Undertale monsters’ attacks bypassing durability can also end up becoming way too much of a no-limits fallacy in a VS debate. For example, just because we haven’t seen how durable, say, Bill Cipher, Discord, Goku, or Superman’s souls are doesn’t mean that an Undertale character could bypass their insane durability and kill them with their normal attacks like they would Frisk.

Boomstick: But to add even more nails to Mettaton’s coffin, The Noise was also a far more unpredictable foe and would most definitely trip up the robot with some dirty tricks of his. And sure, Mettaton could theoretically win by staying in base form and just tanking everything The Noise threw at him, but not only is the stat gap still quite large, but with how much he jumps and zips all over the place, it’s likely The Noise would see the switch on his back eventually and decide to give it a little flick.

Wiz: But by far the biggest disadvantage Mettaton had in a fight against The Noise was stamina. The Noise’s stamina is nothing short of impressive; being able to have an extended fight with Peppino, recover from being injured to fight him again, and run through the entire Pizza Tower just minutes after receiving a brutal beatdown. Meanwhile, once in his EX form, Mettaton’s battery drains relatively quickly, meaning The Noise could likely survive his onslaught long enough for him to run out of power.

Boomstick: And sure, the NEO form’s pretty damn impressive strength-wise, but it’s still nowhere near enough to close the strength and durability gap significantly, plus we… basically know nothing about it, so it’s kinda debatable whether it should actually be factored in at all. But whether or not we do include it, the results wouldn’t really change. Oh yeah, there’s also the fact that it’s a glass cannon and all.

Wiz: And if all that wasn’t enough; yes, The Noise does leave himself open occasionally, but Mettaton literally reveals his own weak spot when exposing his heart. With his cunning and habit for messing with others, The Noise would likely target it, which would only make his fight against the MTT star that much quicker to get through. Mettaton was a quick, cunning, and determined foe, but against The Noise’s greater strength, durability, stamina, and unhinged, unpredictable nature, he was far too outmatched.

Boomstick: Against The Noise, Mettaton was just brought to silence. Damn, I guess he should’ve just headed home and wished not to fight this shooting star.

Wiz: …what?

Boomstick: Get it? Because he uses a gun?

Wiz: …the winner is- wait, how’d you get here-

???: Great job on hosting this event! Here’s your money, you two, consider it a Christmas present! HAHAHA!

Wiz: Oooh, thank you!

Boomstick: Nice, this is enough to buy me enough beers for the next five months!

(While they’re distracted, a certain someone shuffles up to the mic)

The Noise: The winner is The Noise! WOAG!

The Noise

+Far stronger and more durable

+Far more ruthless and unpredictable

+Easily more experienced in physical combat and would be able to close the distance easily

+Far better stamina

+Toon force and shapeshifting would allow him to recover from injuries

=Roughly equal in cunning

-Slower

-Could be outlasted by the base form’s durability, though this is highly unlikely.

-Less sane

Mettaton

+Faster

+Could outlast The Noise with his base form’s durability

+More sane

+Could possibly bypass The Noise’s durability, though this is extremely debatable

=Roughly equal in cunning

-Far weaker and less durable overall

-Would easily be caught off guard by The Noise’s ruthlessness and unpredictability

-Less experienced in physical combat

-Far worse stamina

-The Noise could likely figure out how to switch him from base to EX

Next Time

"It's simply awe-inspiring what one can accomplish with their own hands! A lump of clay can turn to meaning... if you strangle it with enough enthusiasm. Look what we've built! We created life itself-"

?????: Your journey will end as you are consumed into my dark kingdom. Here, you will find meaning in your pain.

"It's said that spirits dwell in objects into which people put their feelings. I've always thought that, if that’s true, then the same must be true of artwork. So today, I shall immerse myself in work, so as to impart my own spirit into my creations."

????: Loves me… loves me not… loves me… loves me not…

Bendy vs Mary (Bendy and the Ink Machine vs Ib)!

Trivia

• This is the third battle of GodzillaFan8889.
• The connections between Mettaton and the Noise are:
  • Television stars who serve as antagonists in popular indie games; both of their respective TV channels/brands are named after themselves (MTT and NTV)
  • Both are dead-set on promoting their brand to the point where they plaster their faces on literally everything (the many Mettaton-shaped items and products, and the Noise’s cameramen, building, and giant balloon) (this also includes bombs shaped like themselves)
  • Both like to perform for the camera, and their boss fights are thus set up like actual broadcasts
  • Both can act quite psychotic and murderous when they want to
  • Both have a third phase that they never get to actually use (Mettaton NEO and Noise wielding a gun)
  • Despite how they’re initially portrayed and how aggressive they can end up being, both end up joining the protagonists (Frisk and Peppino) at the end of the game when said protagonist escapes the place they were in (the Underground (in the True Pacifist Route) and the Pizza Tower), and end up being on relatively good terms with them (well, as good of terms as the Noise can be with his rival)
  • Once they escape to the outside world, both end up promoting their brands further and are able to significantly boost their fame in the end
  • Both can wield sharp items (a chainsaw and a knife)
  • Both are related to characters similar to them who pop into their boss fights at the very end (Napstablook, a fellow ghost and Mettaton’s cousin who calls him on the phone and Noisette, a fellow… whatever the Noise is and Noise’s girlfriend who takes him away)
  • Both have notable assistants/employees who make food for them (Burgerpants and Dougie Jones (who only appears in a couple Pizza Tower comics))
  • Both are supposedly secretly handsome when compared to their initial appearances (Mettaton’s EX form and one of the Noise’s playable animations, where he takes off his mask to reveal a comedically handsome-looking face)
  • Both are heavily inspired by other TV-related characters (Mettaton was most likely inspired by TV Dinnah from Little King’s Story, and The Noise… take a guess as to who he could possibly be inspired by)
• The original track for this would've been called "Glamorous Hot Stuff", combining the names of their boss themes and referring to how they see themselves as grand TV stars who deserve fame.
• This battle would’ve been animated in 2D sprites.
• Sprite art is by me! :D
• Credit for the Mettaton EX sprites goes to Addicted2Electronics and LordDorian97420.
• Art credit goes to Sergey Metta.
• I made a RaveDJ mashup for this (actual fight will probably use different music tho): https://rave.dj/7LP8bQoRMS-xlw
• Update: With the new feats The Noise gains from becoming a playable character in Pizza Tower… Mettaton actually loses harder than he did before lmao.