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Mami Tomoe vs. Vash the Stampede
Mami VS Vash
Season 3, Episode 2
Vital statistics
Air date February 27th, 2015 (Original Ending), May 2nd, 2015 (Rewritten)
Written by ParaGoomba348
Directed by Anonymous
Episode guide
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Mami VS Vash

Mami Tomoe vs. Vash the Stampede is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle featuring Mami Tomoe from Puella Magi Madoka Magica against Vash the Stampede from Trigun.

Description[]

Puella Magi Madoka Magica VS Trigun! Which gunslinger will outgun the other??

Interlude[]

Wiz: We've done swordfights, fistfights, and even fights with sketchpads warping reality, but we have yet to do a gunfight.

Boomstick: And oh man, we've got lots of guns in this one! It's Mami Tomoe, the gunslinging Magical Girl!

Wiz: And Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: It is our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win in a Death Battle.

Mami[]

Wiz: When Madoka Kaname and Sayaka Miki got stuck in the witch Gertrud's labyrinth, they thought they were doomed. That is, until Mami Tomoe came by.

Boomstick: Her hair's impossible and her boobs are too big for her age.

Wiz: It's anime, Boomstick. Don't question it.

Boomstick: Then Mami kicked that witch's ass! No wonder Madoka and Sayaka like this girl so much!

Wiz: As confirmed by Gen Urobuchi, Mami is actually one of the strongest Magical Girls there is, exceeding the likes of Kyoko Sakura and Homura Akemi. Although we wouldn't know it judging by the third episode.

(Mami's death scene plays)

Boomstick: Mami! No!

Wiz: In just the third episode, Mami fought a little too recklessly and ended up dying as a result.

Boomstick: If she just stuck around, Sayaka wouldn't have needed to turn into a Magical Girl and Kyoko would've never come into the town. Dammit Mami, you ruined everything!

Wiz: But if you think that Mami's death makes her weak, that's where you're wrong. Mami uses guns as her weapon, but the thing is, just like any other Magical Girl's weapons (besides Homura), they're magical. And she can create as many guns as she likes, from out of nowhere.

Boomstick: Is she-? Does she keep them IN HER SKIRT?!

Wiz: Uh... I actually have trouble explaining this one. She, uh, lifts her skirt and lots of guns fall out? There's no room for guns in there.

Boomstick: If only she lifted a little higher.

Wiz: Boomstick. She's fifteen.

Boomstick: Isn't she fourteen?

Wiz: No, she's actually a grade above Madoka, Sayaka and Homu- wait, that-! Ugh, nevermind. Anyway, the point is, she can pull guns out of nowhere. She also has exceptional aim, having never once missed a target of hers.

Boomstick: As if she needs to be the best aim in Mitakihara Town! She can tie up her opponents using ribbons she summons! But wait, they're ribbons! Why don't they break or something?

Wiz: You see, Mami's ribbons actually run off of her life force. As long as Mami is alive and in good condition, her ribbons are nigh-inescapable.

Boomstick: In case she doesn't feel like using her ribbons for kinky bondage, she can also create more guns with her ribbons, and even create clones of herself with them!

Wiz: But the greatest purpose her ribbons serve are as the setup for one of her most powerful attacks, the Tiro Finale. She ties up an opponent with her ribbons, and while they're trapped she creates this gigantic gun that's much bigger than herself and fires a huge bullet capable of ripping right through gigantic witches.

Boomstick: And thanks to everyone's favorite space-ferret Kyubey, Mami's life is contained in a Soul Gem like the other girls. Except Mami is actually smart, because she wears her Soul Gem as a tiny headpiece or as a ring! Man, the other girls need to find better locations for their Soul Gems.

Wiz: However, if you were paying attention the last times we used Magical Girls, Mami is essentially a lich. Unfortunately, if her Soul Gem is ever to break or be over 100 feet away from her body, she dies.

Boomstick: And because Madoka is such a good Goddess, there's another thing about Mami that makes her awesome. She can switch out between her regular form, and her witch form Cand- cond- can-

Wiz: Candeloro.

Boomstick: I was just about to say that!

Wiz: Candeloro, just like Mami's ribbons, never allows foes to escape. Candeloro can attack very similarly to Mami, using rifles and ribbons and such. She can ever fire a Tiro Finale-like attack, except with flames rather than bullets.

Boomstick: Thanks to Law of Cycles, Mami can turn into Candeloro anytime she wants.

Wiz: Being a Magical Girl, Mami is fast, agile, durable, and very strong. She's easily the most physically-capable Magical Girl, constantly being able to lift the giant gun used for the Tiro Finale and being able to control the gun's massive recoil.

Boomstick: But Mami is not invincible. I think.

Wiz: Indeed she isn't. She has a habit of underestimating her foes, as she did with Charlotte and Homura. However, it's justified in Charlotte's case, as it first appeared to be a cute little thing that was harmless.

Boomstick: She can also freeze up if things don't work the way she intended, and she went CRAZY when she found out that Magical Girls became witches! She killed Kyoko and tried to kill Homura!

Wiz: So when it comes down to it, Mami isn't perfect. But don't let her early death fool you - Mami is a powerhouse.

Mami: It's the first time I've been this happy while fighting. I'm not scared of anything anymore. I'm not alone anymore.

Vash[]

Wiz: Vash the Stampede was only a young boy when his mother sent him away on an escape pod in order to save Vash's life in exchange for her own.

Boomstick: Vash the STAMPEDE?! That's a badass name!

Wiz: As awesome as his name is, not everything that happened to him was necessarily good. He was caught at the scene of a crime which resulted in a massive explosion and thousands of deaths. As such, Vash attained a sixty-billion double dollar bounty for his head.

Boomstick: And then Vash was forced to spend his life avoiding bounty hunters, old enemies, and people he once thought were his friends. Man, Vash is sorta like the Charlie Brown of-

Wiz: You already used that joke on Ryu-Scorpion, Boomstick.

Boomstick: But it's true though!

Wiz: Indeed it is. But in order to protect himself from those after that huge bounty, he wields a large, silver revolver which he claims to have built himself.

Boomstick: It can hold six .45 bullets, and it has a range of over 200 feet!

Wiz: Vash's marksmanship is fantastic, being able to hit through bullet holes he made himself, redirect a car with three bullets, and constantly hits targets well out of the ordinary pistol's range.

Boomstick: Forget all doubt! This guy's awesome!

Wiz: And that's not all Vash has in his arsenal. Hidden inside of his prosthetic arm is another gun, which can fire single-shot or rapid-fire and seems to have an unlimited amount of ammunition.

Boomstick: Unlimited ammo - every gun owner's dream.

Wiz: Vash's coat is also bulletproof. However, it is not indestructible and he still feels the heavy impact of bullets on it.

Boomstick: And in case that all fails, he keeps a knife in his shoe as a last resort. It's used as a tool or melee weapon, and it ALWAYS BREAKS. Yeah, nice knife there Vash.

Wiz: But none of this can even compare to Vash's ultimate weapon, the Angel Arm. You see, Vash isn't actually a human. He's something called a Plant, which is an interdimensional being capable of emitting massive energy. When Vash taps into this, he becomes near-unstoppable.

Boomstick: It can turn into many different shapes, but I wanna talk about its cannon shape! As a cannon, it can blow up entire cities, destroy part of the moon, and fire miniature black holes!

Wiz: The feather-like extensions on it also double as shields, and it cannot be lost thanks to it being part of Vash's very essence. However, it has a nasty drawback - it drains Vash's energy so much that if he uses it too much, it will kill him.

Boomstick: Oh. That's not good.

Wiz: In addition to his arsenal and power, Vash is also very capable physically. He is fast enough to dodge bullets before they even exit the gun, agile enough to change the trajectory of bullets by flinging pebbles at them, and smart enough to exploit small weaknesses or chinks in armor when they least expect it.

Boomstick: But they gave all this power... to a pacifist. Seriously, this guy hates killing. Why is he even here?

Wiz: Remember Death Battle rules?

Boomstick: Oh, right.

Wiz: But one thing Vash hesitates to do is land the finishing blow. He doesn't always end fights decisively, and this has led to his downfall on many occasions.

Boomstick: But man, this guy's a badass! If you mess with the Stampede, he's gonna kick your Vash!

Vash: LOVE! AND! PEACE!

DEATH BATTLE![]

ParaGoomba348[]

It was a regular day in Mitakihara Town, and the Magical Girl Mami Tomoe was sitting in her room, drinking tea. It was a boring day for her, as she couldn't find any wraiths during her patrol of the town and there was no school today. Then, she heard a loud explosion outside her house. She dropped her teacup and it shattered on the ground.

Mami went outside to find a man dressed in a long red jacket, holding a silver revolver. Vash the Stampede was his name, and there was a crater around him as well as debris from buildings nearby.

"Whoops, sorry about that!" Vash said to Mami. He really didn't mean to make anything blow up. He just landed randomly in Mitakihara Town and there was a subsequent crash.

Mami transformed into her Magical Girl form. "You know, it's not very nice to blow stuff up when there's people nearby." She then slightly lifted her skirt, and four guns fell to her legs. She pulled two guns up and aimed at Vash.

Vash aimed his revolver at Mami. He didn't want to hurt this girl, but he didn't want to die against her either.

FIGHT!

Mami was the first to pull the trigger. She fired her gun at Vash, and just as she pulled the trigger Vash fired as well. The two bullets collided with each other in mid-air and stopped each other cold. Mami threw the gun she used to the ground and pulled another one out of her hat. Mami continued firing at Vash, using a different gun each time, and the Human Typhoon dodged each bullet. Mami fired another bullet at Vash, which he easily dodged, except this time strings followed the bullet and wrapped around Vash's legs, tripping him and sending him to the ground. Mami ran behind Vash to shoot him from behind.

Before Mami could even take aim, Vash suddenly fired a rapid-fire bullet storm at Mami from his prosthetic arm. Mami quickly turned and jumped to dodge the bullets, dodging each one. Vash quickly fired his revolver at Mami in mid-air, and the bullet connected with her midsection and sent her to the ground. Mami quickly got back up and took aim again.

"You don't get it, do you?" She asked with a smile. Mami's arms turned into large cannons, and then continued firing at Vash, who easily dodged her attacks.

"I don't want to hurt you!" Vash replied to Mami. Just as he said that, Mami fired at him once more. Vash observed as if in slow-motion, then dodged the bullet while firing his revolver simultaneously. The bullet of his revolver hit Mami's arm-cannon, reverting it back to a regular arm. Mami then pulled another musket from out of her cleavage (I DID NOT COME UP WITH THAT) and fired again. To counter, Vash kicked a pebble at the magical bullet and changed its trajectory.

Mami smirked at Vash. "Well, I didn't want to have to do this, but I guess you don't leave me much choice." She jumped up, and suddenly hundreds of guns appeared in the air, all forming a sort of wall behind Mami. She thrust her hand forward, and all the guns fired at Vash.

In just a moment's notice, Vash knew what he had to do. He watched the guns fire... and he stayed there to take the hits. Several bullets hit his jacket, and each one felt like a heavy punch and hit him hard. After taking a huge bullet rain, Vash fell down onto the ground. He knew that he must have been bruised badly underneath his jacket, but if his jacket weren't bulletproof he would've died.

"You're a pretty good gunslinger!" Vash said to Mami. "I've never seen a technique like that!"

"What?" Mami stopped. She had never had an opponent to so easily survive the bullet rain. She stood there, frozen. What would she do now?

Vash was about to return the favor with his own revolver, but he stopped too. "Why'd you stop?" He asked Mami. Mami didn't answer. "Come on, I can't hurt you if you're not willing to hurt me."

After a few seconds, Mami regained her focus. She knew she had to change her plans. She lifted her skirt again two more guns fell out, and she grabbed them both. She fired both at Vash, who quickly dodged and fired his revolver at the guns, again knocking them out of Mami's hands. He fired one more shot at Mami, this time hitting her above the chest. Mami fell down to the ground again.

Vash fired again, but then he remembered - he'd run out of ammunition. He searched through his jacket to find more ammo, and Mami used this opportunity to get up and get more guns from her skirt. She fired more and more at Vash, who simultaneously dodged and checked for ammo. After Mami fired about six times, Vash finally found more bullets.

"There we go!" said Vash. He reloaded his revolver and fired at Mami again, who dodged the bullet. Then he used his prosthetic arm gun to fire at Mami, who dodged all bullets except one that knocked her to the ground. Before Vash could continue firing, he saw some strings of yellow light surround him. "Huh?" He didn't even get a chance to figure it out before he was entangled in yellow ribbons from which he could not break free.

Mami got back up, and a gigantic gun which appeared to be about four times her size materialized in front of her. She aimed the gun at the now tied-up Vash, and fired.

"TIRO FINALE!"

The gigantic bullet hit Vash, and Mami's ribbons broke upon impact. Vash fell down onto the ground, but there was no visible damage done - his jacket had saved him.

Vash got back up, then decided that he'd had enough. Even if he didn't want to put this girl down, he had to do something or else he would die. Suddenly, his arm turned into an angelic cannon - Angel Arm. He jumped up into the air and took aim.

Mami again froze up. The only opponent who'd ever survived the Tiro Finale was the witch Charlotte, who defeated her. She had to do something... had to find a way to survive...

Vash fired a shot from the Angel Arm at Mami, who still appeared to be completely frozen. A large explosion followed, and when the dust cleared Mami was not there.

"Oh... I think I overdid it." said Vash. But then after a few seconds, he saw something completely different where Mami stood. It wasn't Mami at all - it was her witch, Candeloro. "What is that thing?!"

Two giant muskets appeared by Candeloro's side, and both of them fired at Vash. He dodged both shots, but the shots appeared to be getting faster. Vash counter-fired with his own revolver, but Candeloro seemed hardly fazed by the attack.

"Don...'t... lea...ve..."

Candeloro muttered in Mami's voice. Vash shuddered as he heard Candeloro say that so ominously. Candeloro extended her ribbons to trap Vash, but he saw the attack coming and quickly rolled out of the way. He fired some more shots at Candeloro, but again, she was unaffected. Candeloro fired several more bullets at Vash, who either dodged or blocked with shots of his own. He knew that he couldn't continue fighting carelessly against the strange witch.

"Ne...ver... leave..."

Ribbons materialized around Vash again, but this time he knew that he wasn't going to fall for the same trick.

"LOVE! AND! PEACE!"

Vash's arm turned into the Angel Arm again, and even though he was ensnared in Candeloro's ribbons he was still able to take aim at her. Candeloro created a gigantic musket in front of her and took aim at Vash.

"TIRO FINALE!"

Said Mami's voice. Vash fired his Angel Arm, and Candeloro fired her Tiro Finale. However, this time the Tiro Finale was made out of fire, not ammunition. The gigantic blasts collided with each other in mid-air, and there was a resulting explosion from the struggle.

...

After all the dust had cleared, Vash was on his hands and knees, coughing. He had run low on a lot of his energy, and his sunglasses were broken. His bulletproof jacket had been burnt to a crisp.

Mami was lying on the ground, exhausted. She got back up, and also coughed.

Vash pulled out his revolver again, and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, he had run out of bullets again. "Now, where did I put my extra bullets...?"

Mami took this opportunity in the best way she could. Yellow ribbons materialized around Vash again, and held him up. Mami grinned as she pulled out her giant musket.

Vash sighed and closed his eyes. "Please, everyone, continue fighting for love and peace."

Mami, still grinning, pulled the trigger.

"TIRO FINALE!"

The Magical Girl pulled the trigger and the gigantic bullet made contact with Vash, and without the bulletproof jacket to save him, he was ripped to shreds with the force of the bullet. Mami called back her ribbons and then reverted back to her regular self.

"And I don't want to see you around here anymore, 'kay?" she said to Vash's pieces with a smirk.

K.O.!

Rewritten Section[]

(Cut to Mami tying up Vash in the ribbons the third time)

Vash activated the Angel Arm again, then cut himself free from the ribbons. He heard the cry of Mami's "Tiro Finale!" and jumped away easily. Vash aimed the Angel Arm at Mami, who had frozen up out of sheer disbelief.

"You're done." He said with a grin. He fired the Angel Arm, and there was a flash of white light. Everything was obliterated completely. Mami? Gone. Her Soul Gem? Gone. Mitakihara Town? Gone.

K.O.!

Results (Obsolete)[]

Boomstick: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME! PLAY IT AGAIN!

Wiz: This battle was extremely close. Both of the two held specific advantages over each other, but the biggest overall factor was Mami's ribbons, which can even restrain the time-traveling Homura and can materialize wherever she wants.

Boomstick: And even though Vash can destroy entire cities and part of the moon, Mami can be just as powerful. "But Boomstick, Vash's bulletproof jacket should have protected him from Mami's Tiro Finale, right?

Wiz: While Vash's jacket protected him from most of Mami's attacks, and it certainly cushioned the blow against the Tiro Finale, one thing to consider is that the gun used for the Tiro Finale has a barrel about the size of Mami's head, neck, and shoulders, and taking her size into consideration, is about one-third of Mami's height. This means that the bullet must have been around 53 centimeters around, which is absurdly large for a bullet. Yes, Vash's bulletproof jacket could defend against the blow, but the impact would hurt significantly, likely breaking a few bones along the way.

Boomstick: Not only that, but Candeloro's Tiro Finale uses fire and not bullets, meaning that she could always just incinerate Vash's jacket if she wanted.

Wiz: And while Vash's Angel Arm had the chance to end the battle decisively, Vash is often too merciful to land the finishing blow right away, especially when his opponent is a 15-year-old girl like Mami.

Boomstick: Vash the Stampede? More like Vash the Stam-pieces!

Wiz: The winner is Mami.

Rewritten Result (Official Result)[]

Boomstick: No! It was bad enough watching her die the first time!

Wiz: Mami's ribbons and unorthodox fighting style might have kept Vash on his toes, but in the end she was outclassed entirely.

Boomstick: Vash can run at sub-relativistic speeds, while Mami can't get to the other side of town without Sayaka foolishly going into a labyrinth!

Wiz: Vash can take huge amounts of punishment, simply by being a Plant. Mami can take similar punishment, while her Soul Gem cannot.

Boomsick: Finally, while Mami's Tiro Finale would be strong, Vash's speed and Angel Arm would mean that he would never fall for an attack like that. Mami got sent crying home... to Mommy.

Wiz: The winner is Vash the Stampede.



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