| Luong Lao Shi VS Master Splinter | |
|---|---|
| |
| Season 5, Episode 10 | |
Vital statistics
| |
| Air date | Unknown |
| Written by | TheMetallicBlur |
| Directed by | TheMetallicBlur |
Episode guide
| |
| Previous | Next |
| Black Panther VS Shao Kahn | X VS Cloud |
Description[]
American Dragon VS Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Two animal senseis who have trained incredible reptiles clash. Will Lao Shi be the right exterminator? Will his opponent be too deep of a Splinter? Stay tuned!
Interlude[]
(*Cues: Wiz and Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)
Wiz: In life, the way of combat and self-defense must be learned. While some people prefer to learn by themselves, there are others that require teachers. And those teachers are called senseis.
Boomstick: Whether they're taught how to use a weapon or just their fists, the fact that senseis can train someone to be a butt-kicking machine proves they're no slouch in a fight.
Wiz: And even they're just animals, they can still prove to be as skilled, if not more skilled than most human fighters.
Boomstick: Like Luong Lao Shi, the former Chinese Dragon and full-on butt-kicking granddad.
Wiz: And Master Splinter, the rodent warrior with wisdom of battle.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.
Luong Lao Shi[]
(*Cues: Gouken's Theme - Super Street Fighter IV*)
Wiz: Luong Lao Shi is the grandfather of Jake Long, the American Dragon. As his mentor, he always offers incredible wisdom.
Luong Lao Shi: Jake! (*Shouts in Mandarin*) Of all the irresponsible things you have done, have you learned nothing this past year about cheating?!
Boomstick: But he didn't necessarily start out that way. In fact, he actually started off the total opposite of that.
Wiz: One day, there was a party of magical creatures in Hong Kong and the entertainment had started. It was a talking Sharpay named Fu Dog.
Boomstick: Fu Dog? What kind of name is that?
Wiz: The kind of name you get when you have longeivty. Fu Dog was singing a song while at the same time, stealing jewelry from magical women. Once he was caught, he had to deal with Luong Lao Shi, the Chinese Dragon.
Boomstick: Back then, Lao Shi was pretty cocky and egotistical. After taking down Fu Dog with a single boo, Fu offered to be his sidekick, but Lao Shi refused.
Wiz: That's when he spotted Councilor Chang. After an exchange of incredibly stupid and pointless pickup lines, they went to her home and Fu Dog had followed them.
Boomstick: Chang had told Lao Shi that the Dark Dragon was spotted in Hong Kong. After rejecting Fu Dog a second time, he flew out on his own to find the Dark Dragon himself, only to end up crashing into a billboard.
Wiz: After Fu Dog got him out, he agreed to let Fu Dog be his sidekick temporarily.
Boomstick: Couldn't he pull himself out of that? Anyways, Fu Dog said he knew someone who spotted the Dark Dragon and it was Johnny Wang, the best dancer in Hong Kong.
Wiz: Wang would only agree to tell Lao Shi about the Dark Dragon's whereabouts if Lao shi won in a dance-off. After winning, they went to an abandoned ship.
Boomstick: What Lao didn't know is that Chang was actually working for the Double D and left Lao for her boss.
Wiz: After the brief fight, Lao had become less arrogant and more stern and serious. Once his daughter, Susan, had her son, Jake Long, Lao Shi trained his grandson should he have to face the Dark Dragon himself.
(*Cues: Heart of Leviatthan - Devil May Cry 3*)
Boomstick: Lo Shi is an incredbily skilled fighter. As a dragon, he gains tough dragon scales, enhanced strength, and much better reflexes.
Wiz: Despite having no wings, Lao Shi can fly somehow and like many fictional dragons, he can breath fire.
Boomstick: He can launch fire in balls or streams at his opponents. He also possesses enhanced senses too.
Wiz: He has Eye of the Dragon, which acts as infrared vision, enabling to spot objects from far away. Nose of the Dragon increases his sense of smell.
Boomstick: He can use Tongue of the Dragon to extend his tongue. Wait, what good is that in battle?
Wiz: Well, if used correctly, it can be used to deflects nets. Ear of the Dragon increases his hearing and his Tail of the dragon is a prehensile tail.
Boomstick: He's also got dragon teeth and dragon claws to tear up his opponents if need be.
Wiz: Lao Shi has one last trick up his sleeve. He has the ability to create doppelgangers out of his chi. This technique can be used as a distraction in battle or to outnumber an opponent.
Boomstick: He totally stole that from Naruto.
(*Cues: Molten Crater - Spyro: Year of the Dragon*)
Wiz: While Jake Long is an exceptionally skilled fighter, he would be the dragon he is today without Lao Shi's teachings.
Boomstick: As a dragon, his lifting strength is in the 5 to 25 ton range. But he can do way more.
Wiz: Lao is strong enough to stop a speeding subway car. Since they live in New York, this subway car must have weighed 85,200 pounds, or about 42.6 tons.
Boomstick: Assuming it was going at 55 miles per hour, this means he had to exert a force equivalent to 2,343 tons.
Wiz: Clearly, the person who said dragons can only lift 25 tons at most needs to re-check his facts.
Boomstick: Lao Shi is fast, fast enough to keep pace with his grandson.
Wiz: Jake is fast enough to circle his aunt's island home 13 times in 13 seconds. To circle once means he needed to circle the island 1 time. His Aunt Kathy lives in Florida Keys, which is about 0.5 miles wide. To circle around that distance once would require Jake to move at 1,800 miles per hour.
Boomstick: Since he did it 13 times, that means, he can reach speeds of about 46,800 miles per hour.
Wiz: Lao Shi is also tough. He's tough enough to withstand ramming into a plasma shield and being slammed through a castle roof. Assuming this castle roof is composed of timber, this means Lao can withstand 4,000 psi.
Boomstick: He's also incredibly skilled. He's defeated the Dark Dragon in single one-on-one combat, something no magical creature has ever been able to do.
Wiz: He's able to battle the Huntsman, who has slain a dragon before, which is evident by the skull on his head. He's even managed to outmaneuver Jake with nothing but his tail.
Boomstick: He's tangled with two Huntsclan members and when Jake was just starting out, Jake won by using the teachings of his Dragon Master.
Wiz: But while Lao Shi is formidable, he is not unstoppable. He's not as powerful as he ued to be due to his old age and has many weaknesses as a dragon.
Boomstick: Should he get hit with a hard-enough attack, he'll shift back into human form and he can't access his dragon form when covered in sphinx hair.
Wiz: Lao Shi has two weak spots as a dragon. One is his soft underbelly and the other is behind the left ear.
Spud: Behind the left ear? No!
Boomstick: Wait what? Who was in charge of writing that idea? Whoever was in charge should've been fired.
Wiz: Should Lao Shi get struck behind the left ear, he will die.
Boomstick: But why? How? It's just so stupid.
Wiz: Well, thankfully, the weak spot is so stupid that no one would expect it. He does have one last weakness. While his doppelgangers are good for numbers, making a chi clone divides his strength and weakens him. And should his doppelgangers be out for an extensive period of time, they will become weaker themselves.
Boomstick: Regardless, Lao Shi is one awesome grandpappy. When he dragons up, you're going down.
Luong Lao Shi: (*Sighs*) It is always a pleasure to defeat you!
Master Splinter[]
(*Cues: Title Screen - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles*)
Wiz: There are many creatures one can have for a pet. It can be a dog, a cat, a goldfish, a parrot, or even a platypus. But not many people can say that they've had a rat for a pet.
Boomstick: Unless you're Hamato Yoshi.
Wiz: Many years ago, there was a man known as the Ancient One. He was currently taking of care of his adopted sons, Hamato Yoshi and Yukio Mashimi as well as a woman named Tang Shen.
Boomstick: One day, Mishimi was enjoying some good food when he spotted a rat. He picked up his sword and was ready to slay it on sight.
Wiz: However, Tang Shen stopped him and gave the rat some food to eat and decided to raise alongside Yoshi.
Boomstick: Well, I guess that's one way to start a family. So they had a perfect life. Until Mishimi decided to kill Tang Shen out of jealousy, which angered Yoshi.
Wiz: After burying Shen, Yoshi swore to take revenge and kill his friend. Before he left, the Ancient One warned him by comparing vengeance to a splinter. After Yoshi took his revenge, he moved to New York City and decided to name his rat Splinter to act as a reminder of what he did.
Boomstick: I guess it's not the dumbest reason to name an animal.
Wiz: Yoshi and Splinter then lived a happy life. That is, until the Foot attacked.
Boomstick: A group of soccer players?
Wiz: No idiot. The Foot were a group of dishonorable ninjas. They attacked Yoshi, suspecting him to be working for their enemies.
Boomstick: Which he totally was. He fought them off honorably until the Foot decided to play dirty and electrocuted him using tasers.
Wiz: That's when the Shredder appeared. He asked Yoshi to spill secrets about a race of being called the Utroms, but Yoshi refused and said this.
Hamato Yoshi: He who lives without honor will end without honor.
Boomstick: Splinter didn't really wanna see his master die, so he tried his best to save him. But being a rat, there wasn't much he could do besides leave Hun a scar. And so, Shredder killed Yoshi in cold blood and Splinter had to watch.
Wiz: After falling due to being struck with grief over the loss of his master, Splinter roamed New York City when he saw a blind man crossing the street.
Boomstick: A truck was coming his way and a boy ran to save him. In doing so, he bumped into another boy who held a jar containing four infant turtles, causing the turtles to fall into a sewer.
Wiz: In an attempt to prevent an accident, the truck driver swerved hard, causing the back door to open and a canister of mutagen to fall out.
Boomstick: That's gotta be like the least secure truck I've ever heard of. Anyways, the canister went into the sewer. Being concerned for the little guys, Splinter chased after them, only to find them covered in mutagen. Then one of the turtles shook off the mutagen onto Splinter.
Wiz: He then decided to take them to his burrow.
Boomstick: How did he have a burrow? Didn't he just lose his master? Did he do things Yoshi wasn't aware of?
Wiz: Calm down, Boomstick. After a day, he realized that he and the turtles had grown in both size and intelligence. Realizing the surface world wouldn't understand them, Splinter decided to train them in ninjutsu.
(*Cues: Battle Nexus - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus*)
Boomstick: Thanks to the effects of the mutagen, Splinter is much stronger, faster, and tougher than the average rat.
Wiz: Splinter is well-versed in ninjutsu by mimicking Yoshi's movements.
Boomstick: I may not be a rat expert, but I'm pretty sure that's illogical.
Wiz: Tell me about it. I've dissected plenty of rats in my day and none of my dissections have shown anything about being able to learn ninjutsu by mimicking movements.
Boomstick: Well, regardless, Splinter is an excellent martial arts master, able to go toe-to-toe with the toughest of Foot Ninjas.
Wiz: He also possesses incredible swordsmanship skills and given that he taught this to Leonardo, he has knowledge in pressure points. But he utilizes one simple weapon: his cane.
Boomstick: Oh yeah. It may just be a walking stick, but with that baby, Splinter is a whole new level of deadly.
Wiz: Splinter also possesses an enhanced sense of smell, able to detect where his sons are with just a sniff.
(*Cues: Main Menu - TMNT: Mutant Melee*)
Boomstick: Despite only being a 90-pound rat, Splinter has proven to be one of the best of the best. He's strong enough to shatter an examination table and even shatter a fractured concrete pillar. Oh, and he's strong enough to block the Shredder's strike.
Wiz: The Shredder was strong enough to cut through metal supports with ease. Assuming these supports were composed of mild steel, this means Splinter can block a force equivalent to 400 megapascals.
Boomstick: Not only is he strong enough to block Shredder, but fast enough to intercept him in the first place.
Wiz: Shredder was fast enough to get the drop on Splinter's sons, who were capable of outracing explosions. Not only that, but he can even react to magic lightning.
Boomstick: He's super tough, too. He's withstood getting hit by Shredder, who was previously capable of putting the turtles down, each of whom could take a hit from the Sword of Tengu, which has enough power to destroy castles.
Wiz: He's survived having all four of his sons on top of him. Michelangelo weighs 180 pounds, Don weighs 188 pounds, Leo is 190 pounds, and Raph is 197 pounds. Combined together means Splinter can handle 755 pounds of weight.
Boomstick: He's even able to survive having a castle fall on top of him. But being the teacher of the turltes, Splinter is definitely skilled.
Wiz: He managed to defeat the Utrom Shredder in combat and with the use of the Sword of Tengu, defeated his Foot Mystics. While he did need the sword to defeat them, he didn't need them to exploit their weaknesses. Not only, but he's even managed to see through their illusions.
(*Cues: Rooftops - TMNT: Mutant Melee*)
Boomstick: He's managed to beat down Hun, the leader of the purple dragons even with injured hands. And he even competed in the Battle Nexus Tournament. That's essentially a tournament between fighter across the multiverse, or as I like to call it, a precursor to the Tournament of Power.
Wiz: Splinter fought his way to the finals where he encountered Drako, a draconic creature who was the fiercest of all the fighters.
Boomstick: They fought fiercely, until Drako broke Splinter's leg, which you think would make him forfeit the match, right? Nope! All he did was treat his wound, and even though it still hurt, he still kicked that overgrown lizard's butt.
Wiz: Most impressive, Splinter is the only person to have given Agent Bishop a run for his money. Bishop was skilled enough to fight on par with the Turtles, Casey, and Leatherhead without much issue. In fact, the only person to have given Bishop trouble was Splinter.
Boomstick: And Splinter's 1v1 fight with Bishop was after Bishop was able to take on the Turtles, Hun, and Karai all at once all while using his sunglasses, his tie, and even Karai as a weapon! They totally should have put him against Shredder. It'd be super awesome.
Wiz: Splinter is a pretty potent fighter, but he does have a downside. His need for honor will prevent him from making any cheap shots and does not have many options for close-range.
Boomstick: Still, Splinter is the best dad ever known. When the Foot decide to bring on their A-game, just know that the Turtles have a furry surprise in store.
Splinter: In the words of the ancient master, it ain't over till it's over.
Pre-Death Battle[]
Wiz: Alright. The combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Death Battle[]
(*Cues: Planet Zero - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus*)
Luong Lao Shi was meditating with Jake and Rose, teaching them control of their astral form.
Luong Lao Shi: Jake, Rose. Try to see if you can best me in an astral battle.
Jake: You're on, G.
Jake and Rose assimilated their astral forms and did battle with Lao's. But he overpowered them. Fu Dog had come in from the back.
Fu Dog: Hey guys, there's a weird news report about four humanoid turtles in the sewers.
Luong Lao Shi: What kind of magical creatures are they?
Fu Dog: Dunno, but you guys should investigate.
Jake: I'll do it.
Luong Lao Shi: No Jake. Do you remember what happened last time you went into battle unannounced. You died. Fu Dog and I may know the spell to ressurect you, but the though of you dead is too much for me to bear. I'll deal with the terrapins myself.
Lao went dragon, looked outside to see anyone there, opened the door, removed the manhole lid and fell in. He started to explore the sewer in search of the mutant turtles.
Meanwhile, Splinter was at home, meditating with his sons.
Splinter: Focus, my sons. To possess a strong body, you must possess a strong mind.
Michelangelo: Umm, sensei? Why do we need this? Didn't we already beat the three Shredders?
Splinter: Yes, but if that alternate future comes true, we must be ready. And besides, you could use it more than your brothers.
Splinter closed his eyes and continued to meditate. He then caught a whiff of something and opened his eyes.
Splinter: Something is wrong. I sense an intruder.
Leonardo: An intruder? Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Like I did that guy with the sticks.
Splinter: No, my sons. I fear it comes after you. I will deal with it myself.
Splinter got up, took his cane, and started to search the sewer for an intruder. He and Lao Shi then bumped into each other.
Luong Lao Shi: A humanoid rat? Do you happen to know of four humanoid turtles?
Splinter: My sons? What do you want with my sons?
Luong Lao Shi: Your sons? Well, I was gonna go after them, but maybe I should strike you first!
Splinter got his walking cane ready. Lao got into a battle pose.
Fight!
(*Cues: Ultimate Drako - Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare*)
Splinter threw his cane at Leo, which connected with his head. He then caught it back. Lao fired a fireball at Splinter, but he jumped above it and proceeded to slam down his cane which connected with Lao Shi's head. Just as Splinter was about to land on his two feet, Lao Shi grabbed Splinter with his tail and proceeded to breathe fire. Splinter hit Lao's tail with his cane, causing him to let go and Splinter to fall.
Splinter got back up and threw his cane, but Lao Shi whipped his tail, breaking it in half. He then flew towards Splinter, but he dodged by sidestepping, grabbed his tail, and threw him up. Lao Shi got back up and got into a meditation pose. He created at least five different doppelgangers around Splinter. They all launched a fireball at Splinter, but he dodged by jumping up.
Splinter closed his eyes started to sniff in order to find the real one. He opened his eyes and was able to discern the real one and started laying a smackdown on it before knocking it back with a roundhouse kick.
Splinter thinking: It seems his clones have made him weaker.
Splinter jumped up and kicked him in the face, knocking Lao back. Lao launched a fireball at Splinter, which he dodged. Lao seized the opportunity and absorbed his clones. Splinter ran to punch Lao, but he caught it. Splinter was caught off-guard for a second, but he later jumped up to roundhouse kick Lao.
The former Chinese Dragon turned around to dodge, but he was struck behind the left ear, causing him to fall over and die.
K.O!
- Splinter went back to meditating with his sons.
- Fu Dog started teaching Jake and Rose the ressurection spell.
Post-Death Battle[]
(*Cues: Credits - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus*)
Boomstick: It's not everyday you see a rat pummel a dragon.
Wiz: Lao Shi may have held the exeperience advantage, but Splinter trumped everything else.
Boomstick: Lao Shi was outclassed in the strength department. Sure, he stopped a runaway subway car, which is about 2,346 tons, but Splinter's feat of blocking 400 megapascals was simply way better.
Wiz: By converting megapascals to tons, we found out that Splinter was able to stop at least 3,729 tons, much stronger than Lao Shi.
Boomstick: As for speed, While Lao Shi can clock out speeds of Mach 61, Splinter can react to Mach 287 speeds, easily four times faster than Lao.
Wiz: But Splinter had more than physical advantages. While Lao Shi has been outsmarted by ninjas before, Splinter has defeated draconic creatures in combat even in bad conditions.
Boomstick: Yeah, like Drako. While Drako didn't have the powers of flight or fire breath, he did possess the same dragon physiology as Lao Shi, making it easy for Splinter to read his movements.
Wiz: And Splinter's victories over the Foot Mystics and their illusions proves that not only does he have experience against magical creatures, but he's also capable of discerning the real Lao Shi from the fakes and being able to expose Lao Shi's Chi Doppelganger weakness.
Boomstick: Lao Shi just wasn't able to be the Master of this fight as he was inhibited by a Splinter.
Wiz: The winner is Master Splinter.