Interlude[]
Wiz: The everyday man, the common folk, the normies. They work until they get fired.
Boomstick: But these guys were laid off for a different reason
Wiz: Louis, the Junior I.T Analyst of Left 4 Dead
Boomstick: And T-Dog, the Walking Dead's used car salesman
Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our jobs to analize their weapons, armor, and skill to see who would win a death battle.
Louis[]
Wiz: When the "Green Flu" came to the Eastern United States it caused a tremendous loss of life
Boomstick: But nobody was prepared for what happened next, 2 days after the first infection the dead started to come back to life.
Wiz: And nobody was as unprepared for the zombies than Louis, a Junior Analyst working for a wealthy company
Boomstick: Louis was your basic buisness man, he enjoyed his lunch break, got up at 6, and played his fair share of video games.
Wiz: But his life was turned upside down when the "Green Flu" arrived in the area.
Boomstick: You see the name "Green Flu" was just a cover up name for the virus to stop mass panic. So when the dumbasses at CEDA couldn't control the virus, most people just died. So much for trying to stop mass panic
Wiz: While in the restroom talking to his co-worker Ray, a Common Infected showed up and attacked both of them
Boomstick: And what did Louis do you may ask? Well his grabbed a fire extinguisher and beat the living shit out of it.
Wiz: After narrowly escaping death, he and Ray emerged and saw all of their co-workers dead.
Boomstick: But that didn't stop him from walking out of there, even though he saw more of the infected in the streets
Wiz: He somehow dodged the infected and eventually met up with Bill, a Vietnam veteran, Francis, a rough and tough biker, and Zoey, a film school dropout.
Boomstick: It seems like this guy loves being optimistic. This guy must be on drugs.
Wiz: Boomstick, thats just a fanmade--
Boomstick: Pills here! PILLS HERE! PPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Wiz: Uhg!
Boomstick: Other than the oh-so-obvious pain pill addiction, Louis packs an M-16 Assualt Rifle, a mid-range firearm tat can fire 684 shots a minute with a 50 ammo clip. Although it capacity is low, it is extremely accurate, versatile, and extremely maneuverable.
Wiz: But if he runs out of ammo, he goes for a Submachine gun. A rapid fire gun with a 50 round clip
Boomstick: He also packs 2 M1911 pistols. They both have 15 rounds a clip, and his go to side-weapon. And he doesn't have to worry about wasting ammo because he unlimited ammo, how the hell does tht work?
Wiz: Durability wise, he can take quite a lot of punishment. He took cars, slabs of concrete, dumpsters, and forklifts to the face, and get up like nothing happened. He even had his leg almost torn off by Witches, and other than the slight limp, he up and shooting zombies like it was nothing.
Boomstick: But even though he can take a lot of punishment, it doesn't mean he invincible
Wiz: He has a Med-kit, which restores 80% of his health and a bottle of pain pills---
Boomstick: PPPPPPPIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!
Wiz: (annoyeed) which give him a 50% health boost.
Boomstick: But he can't last forever, if he goes down and there's no teammates around, he's as good as dead.
Wiz: But still, if you are guy who needs help in the apocalypse, Louis has your back
Louis: Pills here!
Wiz: Boomstick!
Boomstick: What?
T-Dog[]
Wiz: Theodore Douglas was living a normal life before an unknown pathogen infected the world.
Boomstick: An after someone died from the infection and came back to life, it started killing everyone and soon they started coming back to life Now where have I heard that before?
Wiz: Anyways, Theodore took up the name T-Dog from his football days
Boomstick: Wait, HE MADE IT INTO THE NFL?!
Wiz: No, high school football
Boomstick: Aw
Wiz: But after narrowly escaping Atlanta with his wife, he found a camp with Dale, Lori--
Boomstick: Ho
Wiz: Carl---
Boomstick: CCCCOOOOOAAAAARRRRLLLLLL!!!
Wiz: One more remark out of you and I'll duct tape your mouth shut.
Boomstick: Well excuse me!
Wiz: Ahem, and other survivors. T-Dog quickly warmed up to the group
Boomstick: And he proved through scavenge missions that he is a valuable team member
Wiz: Being a footballer, he is great at evasion and still retains some helpful football tactics
Boomstick: He is also very good with his fair of weapons. He has a good old fashioned baseball bat, a Fireplace poker, a 9 mil pistol, a Hammer, Sniper, and my favorite zombie apocalypse tool, a pump action shotgun. He's even used a chair to beat on bullet proof glass!
Wiz: He also has a lot of stamina. He was able to resist a walker bite on the shoulder until he led Carol to safety
Boomstick: He is more a man than you are Wiz. ' Wiz: Hey!
Boomstick: What?! You know its true, you start crying if bitten by my cat
Wiz: Alright, that's it!
(Wiz grabs duct tape)'
Boomstick: Wait--mm. MMM!'
Wiz: Now that that's over with, T-Dog might be an awesome survivor but he can't survive long. His durability isn't the best and he can be brought down by a few good punches. But that won't stop Theodore Douglas from achieving victory
T-Dog: This is God's plan, He'll take care of me
Pre-Death Battle[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: MMM!!!
Wiz: Oh, sorry.
(Wiz rips the duct tape off his mouth)
Boomstick: Ow! Anyways, IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle![]
T-Dog is seen gassing up a truck while Shane keeps watch.
T-dog: Hey, Shane. You got any idea when Rick, Glenn and them are gonna be back?
Shane: Soon I bet. It's about to get Dark so they're probably on their way back.
T-dog: They better bring back some food. I'm starving.
Meanwhile Louis is seen scoping an area with a Submachine gun.
Louis: Dammit Bill, why do I always get scout duty.
Louis then hears something and goes to investigate it, pulling out a Sniper rifle. He then looks threw the scope and Sees Shane on top of the RV and thinks he's an infected.
Louis: holy shit. When did they learn to hold guns!?
Louis steadily aims his shot and fires. Hitting Shane directly in the head, killing him.
T-dog: Oh man!
T-dog grabs his pistol off the hood of the car, puts on his riot gear chest plate and grabs his Riot shield.
T-Dog: SHOW YO SHELF RIGHT NOW!
Louis walks out of the foliage with his Assault Rifle raised.
Louis: Shit. Look man I didn't know he was human! I thought he was infected!
T-Dog: Too late for sorrys asshole.
FIGHT![]
T-dog fires several shots at Louis, who runs out of the way of the incoming fire and gets behind a broken down car.
Louis: hey! Look dude we all make mistakes!
Tdog: Just shut the fuck up!
Louis leaves his cover and fires at T-Dog who blocks the bullets with his shield and rushes at Louis and Rams into him with the shield and smashes him into a Car.
T-dog: it's your day of reckoning ASSHOLE!
T-dog begins the slam Louis with the shield repeatedly into the car setting off its alarm and breaking the door and windows. Louis punches T-dog in the face and he stumbles back as Louis gets back up.
Louis: looks like I got no choice but to beat your ass!
Louis grabs a pump action shotgun as blasts T-Dog in the riot gear Chestplate and hits him in the face with butt of the gun. Louis then kicks T-dog in the shin and jabs him the throat. T-dog picks Louis up and throws him over his shoulder. T-dog pulls out his pistol and aims it at Louis, Louis kicks the pistol out of T-Dog's hand and kicks T-dog in the balls.
T-dog: AHHH!
Louis gets up and Bitch slaps T-dog in the mouth.
T-dog: Get the fuck out here with that pussy shit!
T-dog socks Louis in the eye and punches him in the face. T-dog then sends a punch so hard into Louis' chin it sends him into a daze, Louis then falls over. T-dog grabs Louis by the tie and drags him to a truck and tosses him into the back and gets into the drivers side.
T-dog: Let's go for a ride.
T-dog speeds off as Louis regains conscienseness.
Louis (running his head): ow.... What. What the hell? How'd I get here!?
Louis sees T-dog driving and grabs a Pipebomb then Smashes it threw the back window as he jumps out of the truck. T-dog looks at the Pipebomb.
Tdog: Fuck.
The Pipebomb explodes engulfing the car and T-dog after this Louis runs back the the wreckage to see T-dog is still alive, but barley.
T-Dog: No. Not today.
Louis cocks his shotgun and points it at T-Dog.
Louis: Yeah. Today.
Louis pulls the trigger, T-Dog's blasting a hole in T-Dog's torso.
K. O.!
Louis hears people coming so he runs off, it was Glenn and Dale who found T-Dog's mangled Corpse. T-dog then begins to Mutate into a tank and chases them off.
Results[]
Boomstick: No! Not T-dog!'"
Wiz: T-dog was Strong and tough. But Louis was to much for the former football player to handle.
Boomstick: I gotta give it to him. Louis was faster and far more durable along with having a shit load of weapons and explosives. T-dog had very little going for him.'"
Wiz: To be far T-dog wasn't completely outmatched he far surpassed Louis when it comes to strength and courage, but when your fighting someone who can survive being crushed and beaten by Left 4 Dead Tanks and your only weapons are a Pistol, Shotgun and a fireplace poker. Your not gonna make it very far.
Boomstick: looks like poor ol T-dog... Got tanked.'"
Wiz: The Winner is Louis