Loki VS Discord is a What-If? Death Battle by Howsitgduud, featuring Loki from the Marvel Comics and Discord from My Little Pony in a reality-bending battle between two godly tricksters.
Description[]
Marvel vs My Little Pony! Two of the best tricksters in media square off in a battle of the minds.
Interlude []
Boomstick: Since the beginning of time, people were asking themselves, “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if I fucked with this guy?” Eventually, we called them “tricksters.”
Wiz: Today, we’re pitting the two most powerful tricksters against each other. Like Loki Laufeyson, the Norse God of mischief.
Boomstick: And Discord, the element of disharmony. He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick,
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who will win a Death Battle!
Loki[]
Wiz: In the Marvel comics, Earth is not alone in the universe. In this universe, there exists 9 realms of existence, held in support by the World Tree. These Realms include Midgard, home of the humans and what we call “Earth,” Asgard, home of the Gods like Thor and Odin, and the cold, desolate world of Jotenheim, home of the Frost Giants and their king, Laufey.
Boomstick: And the Frost Giants are kind of assholes. When Laufey’s son, Loki, was born, nobody really respected him because he was smaller than most of them. Luckily for him, Odin decided to wage war against the frost giants because he was haunted by the ghost of this Bor guy.
Wiz: In this war, Odin defeated Laufey and left him to die, but amongst the bloodshed he saw a small boy, and, feeling grief and obligation, decided to raise Loki as his own son.
Boomstick: As it turned out, the ghost of Bor was actually Loki from the future, who conspired with his past self to cause the war, have Odin defeat Laufey, and then have his past self fake anger and sadness over his father’s death so that Odin will adopt him. Man, comics are weird.
Wiz: This is just the first step in Loki’s path to become the God of Mischief. While on Asgard, he resented Thor because the people of Asgard favored strength, valor, and tenacity over all other traits, clearly biased towards Thor over Loki. This resentment turned into hatred, and he vowed above everything else to kill Thor and take the throne for himself.
Boomstick: Luckily, Loki had just the tools he needed to rival the mighty Thor. Apart from superhuman strength, speed, stamina, yadda yadda yadda, he also knows sorcery! He can cause giant explosions, teleport, create weapons from nothing, clone himself, fly, heal his wounds, and even increase his physical strength.
Wiz: His most notable ability, however is illusion-casting. With his magic, he can manipulate how other beings perceive reality, and his illusions are so strong that they can fool entire cities and even beings as powerful as Surtur, who can destroy all of Asgard. These allusions allow him to hypnotize people, communicate telepathically, and even shape-shift into animals, like snakes or bees, other people like Captain America or Scarlett Witch, or even transform into a female version of himself.
Boomstick: Uh, Wiz? Is it just me, or is Loki kinda hot right now?
Wiz: You wouldn’t be the first person to think that. The MCU made Tom Hiddleston into a hot ticket, and he’s gotten quite the fanbase. I will admit, I do think he’s really cute.
Boomstick: I meant girl Loki.
Wiz: Oh! Right... *ahem* Moving on... Loki has more than proved himself as Thor’s equal on numerous occasions, like the time he outsmarted Apocalypse, or the time he tagged the Silver Surfer, who can move between galaxies a matter of hours, or the time he one-shotted Beta Ray Bill, who shatter Surtur’s dimensional portal with Thor’s help.
Boomstick: Not to mention the fact that he has matched Thor in power on multiple occasions, who once withstood the Midgard Serpent’s 272 trillion-ton constricting force. Hell, even Silver Surfer himself said that Loki has enough power to “destroy worlds.”
Wiz: All this power comes with a lot of drawbacks, though. He does have a ton of power, but his power runs on a finite pool of energy. He also has a huge superiority complex, which leads to him underestimating powerful opponents and getting humiliated as a result, like the time he agitated the Hulk and -
*The Hulk smashes Loki to the ground multiple times over, leaving Loki on the ground in shock*
Hulk: Puny God.
Wiz: Yeah.
Boomstick: Despite all that, he’s still an incredibly deadly threat to the 9 Realms. May Odin help you if you cross paths with Loki Laufeyson.
“In the end, you will always kneel.”
Discord[]
Wiz: Long ago, before Twilight Sparkle ever stepped foot in Ponyville, before anypony had ever heard of the power of Friendship, chaos ruled the land.
Boomstick: Pigs flew, chocolate milk rained down from the sky, dogs and cats lived together, mass hysteria! Who was responsible for this, you might ask? Discord, the spirit of disharmony.
Wiz: But before he could do any lasting damage to Equestria, the alicorn princesses Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmany to seal Discord in a stone statue prison as long as they can.
Boomstick: Fast-forward some amount of years later, Discord’s statue is out in the open for anyone to try and free him, and 3 pipsqueaks arguing accidentally causes him to break free of the spell. Man, what weak-ass spell did Celestia put on him?
Wiz: The Cutie Mark Crusaders arguing alone didn’t set him free. Since Princess Celestia and Luna grew further apart from the Elements of Harmony since Discord’s imprisonment, the spell petrifying him grew weaker, so the slightest amount of chaos could free him.
Boomstick: Well, that’s weird. Anyway, now that Discord is back, he hid the elements of harmony and forced Twilight Sparkle and the gang to find them in a labyrinth and separated them from each other, making them powerless! It uh, didn’t turn out too well for him.
Wiz: He was imprisoned again, until Princess Celestia had a change of heart. She sent Fluttershy, the element of kindness, on a mission to set Discord free and teach him the power of Friendship to see if maybe, just maybe, even the most mischievous of villains can change.
Boomstick: Thank Pony Jesus it worked, because if it didn’t, they would’ve had a much harder time in the show! Discord is one powerful... uh... Hey, Wiz?
Wiz: Yes, Boomstick?
Boomstick: What exactly is Discord? There’s, like griffins and minotaur in this universe, but what is Discord supposed to be?
Wiz: Well, TECHNICALLY, Discord is the embodiment of disharmony and chaos, but his species is called a Draconequus. We’ve only seen one of his species, so we don’t know if they’re all like... that.
Boomstick: Point is, he’s a powerful dude. He can manipulate all of reality and turn it to his whim. He can turn normal storm clouds into cotton candy, turn bunnies and beaver's evil, and freeze water.
Wiz: That doesn’t even scratch the surface. For Discord, realistic physics is more like a suggestion. He can manipulate the matter of the world around him, which allows him to create weapons and entire landscapes out of nothing, manipulate probability, nullify energy attacks, clone himself, even taking away the horns of unicorns and the wings of pegasi so that they can’t use magic or fly.
Boomstick: He can even mess with other ponies’ perceptions of reality, causing them to hallucinate. Jesus Christ, forget about disharmony, this guy’s a chaos god. How did he get defeated by a bunch of tiny horses, again?
Wiz: Well, the ponies possess the Elements of Harmony, and with all 6 of them combined, can overpower the power of chaos with the magic of Friendship.
Boomstick: Not this shit again.
Wiz: To be fair, Discord has only been beaten a few times in his life, once he pretended to be hurt by King Sombra’s blast to inspire Twilight to go all out.
Boomstick: Well, that’s one way to do it, I guess? Friendship bullshit aside, Discord has some amazing feats on his side, like rallying a bunch of villains to go against the Mane 6, defeating his evil ex Cosmos, and defeating both Princess Celestia and Luna at once, who move the sun and the moon on a daily basis. Hell, in one timeline, he rules all of Equestria.
Wiz: Don’t get us wrong, Discord is very powerful, but he isn’t invincible. Like we said, he was beaten by Princess Celestia and the Mane 6 by the Elements of Harmony, and he had his powers drained by Tirek. Plus, if he is separated from anything chaotic for an extended period of time, he fades out of existence.
Boomstick: How does that work, exactly?
Wiz: I- uh... You know, Boomstick, I think I’ll take a breather on this one. Still, you’re going to need a whole lot of power if you want to disrupt Discord’s tea parties.
“What fun is there in making sense?”
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we’ve run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Death Battle![]
A small bird flies over a town square. The square is not very large, there are only a few stores, a massage parlor, and a bakery. The square is populated with multiple fun-colored ponies with a variety of images on their hindquarters.
All of a sudden, a man garbed in green and gold walks into town. He has on a horned crown and wields a scepter with a gold jewel in it. His walk seems confident, almost arrogant, which turns the heads of every pony in a five-mile radius.
It is a lovely day in Ponyville, and Loki is a horrible god.
He surveys the town, and finally gives a nod.
Loki: So, this is Ponyville, huh? It’s not much, but it is a good start to my empire.
Loki waves his hand over the ground. The earth trembles wear he stands, making sure any pony standing near him scatters off to their houses. In front of Loki, a bit of rock starts rising up out of the ground. As the rock rises, it starts to take shape until it towers over Loki so he can view what he has created with a smile.
It is a 10-foot statue of himself, the scepter in one hand, the other hand raised to sky. Loki is very much pleased with what he had wrought.
That is until he heard a voice behind him.
???: Hello there!
He turned around, expecting to see some feeble pony trying to be a hero. He was quite surprised to see a tall, creature with an oblong face, two VERY different horns, a lion’s paw, a falcon’s claw, a serpentine tail, a hoof and a dragon’s claw.
Loki: Who are you?
Discord: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Discord, what is your name?
Loki: Loki, son of Laufey. And I...
He pointed his scepter at Discord in a threatening manner.
Loki: Am your new God. Kneel before me.
Discord was taken aback by this gesture.
Discord: God? That’s a bit presumptuous. Should I not invite you over for tea first? I have a friend who makes excellent tea, I was going to her just now. I can take you.
As Discord was walking away, an explosion occurred right next to him. Discord looked to where it originated to find that it was Loki who caused it.
Loki: I said, KNEEL. If you won’t, I will make you.
Discord: Oh, so you are one of THOSE guys.
Discord went into a fighting stance.
Loki takes his fighting stance and conjures a knife into his hand.
FIGHT!
Loki throws the knife at Discord. Before the knife reaches his face, it slows and stops in its tracks. Discord waves his paw, and redirects the knife back towards Loki.
Loki swiftly dodges the knife and conjures a fireball from his scepter. He hurls the fireball at Discord, who flies up, just barely avoiding the explosion. Discord eyes Loki’s statue, and gets a nice grin on his face.
Discord snaps his fingers, and the statue’s eyes start glowing red. Discord takes flight in the air.
Discord: Well, I shall leave you to it. Toodles!
Discord takes off in a flash while Loki starts flying after him. Just as Loki started to take off, he felt something grab him. Loki looked down and saw his own statue start to swing him around like a ragdoll before slamming him into a house.
Loki: Not again.
Loki got up out of the wreckage and waved his hand. The statue disintegrated before his very eyes while Loki took off after the Draconequus.
Meanwhile, over the Everfree Forest, Discord looked behind him while flying away from Ponyville.
Discord: Phew. I thought that would be serious.
Loki: Think again!
Discord turned to see Loki fly at top speed towards him, sucker punching Discord in the face. Loki delivered a few more punches to Discord’s torso and, with the wave of his hand, sends Discord facefirst into the trees below. Loki points his scepter towards the trees, and the roots started covering Discord’s whole body, trapping him in place.
Loki got back down to ground level, satisfied with the trap. Until Discord rose up out of the roots, shattering them like glass.
Loki: Interesting...
Loki put his scepter on his back and summoned two swords. Loki rushed towards Discord, who made a wall out of the remaining tree roots, which Loki cut through like butter.
Loki: I now see that you aren’t the bug I assumed I can crush between my fingers.
Loki slashed at Discord multiple times, but Discord parried both rapiers with his claws. Eventually both rapier and claw clashed with both Gods’ faces inches away from each other.
Loki: You’re a rabid dog I need to put down.
Discord broke the clash, knocked Loki back with a slash, and snapped his fingers. A wall of tree root jutted up under Loki and sent him into the air. Discord met Loki in the air, hovering next to him.
Discord: I would like to think of myself as more of an embodiment of chaos...
Discord lifted every single tree in a five-foot radius and pointed them at Loki.
Discord: You know what I mean?
Loki: We’ll see about that.
Loki summoned a force field around him just as Discord sent all the trees after him. While the trees harmlessly bounced off the force field, Loki started saying an incantation, glowing as he does it. After all the trees were out of view, Loki put down the force field and sent multiple clones in the air around Discord.
Discord: Cute.
Discord creates multiple clones of himself, all of them staring down the Loki clones. The Lokis rushed towards the Discord, each one of them with anger in their eyes.
The Lokis and the Discords brutally tore each other apart, God fighting God, trickster fighting trickster, illusion fighting illusion. Eventually all the Discords disappeared and the Lokis looked at each other, confused.
Loki #1: Where is he?
Loki #9: I thought you had him.
Loki #5: Yeah, you were in the middle when the fight started.
As the Lokis were arguing over where Discord had gone, one Loki started to sneak away from the bunch. Loki #16 started to notice him.
Loki #16: Hey, what are you doing?
Loki #30: Uh... I’ll meet you back at the camp?
Loki #1: Hold on...
The real Loki sent all his clones back into his body and noticed Loki #30 was noticeably out of the pack. Loki #30 started to transform into Discord.
Discord: Truce?
Loki put his hand around Discord’s throat and flew upward with him, throwing him into a cloud. Loki outstretched his hand and a ball of light started growing from it.
Discord saw the ball of light and got an idea. Discord shifted his body into a man with an orange gi, messy hair and a tail. He formed a ball of energy in his hand and started to charge.
Loki fired the ball of energy as a laser towards Discord.
Loki: Die!
Discord: Kamehameha!!!!!!!!!!!
Discord fired his energy beam towards Loki. The two beams connected, sending shockwaves that caused a giant crater below them. Just as they started to dissapate, Loki teleported behind Discord and punched him, launching Discord towards the forest again. Loki summoned a knife in hand and flew towards the Draconequus.
Loki drives the knife through Discord’s eye, splattering blood everywhere. Loki takes a minute to take a deep breath, then looks down on the corpse.
Or at least, where the corpse was supposed to be.
The corpse was gone. All that is left is a knife with no blood on it. Loki looks down at his hands and clothes, and the blood was gone from there too.
Loki looks around, understandably confused.
Loki: WHERE ARE YOU, YOU COWARD?!
He hears a voice in the distance.
Discord: Right here.
Loki turns to the source of the voice. It is Discord, the real Discord this time. Loki sneers at him.
Loki: What are you doing up there?
Discord: I’m ending this.
Just as Loki summoned another knife and threw it at Discord, Discord snapped his fingers. Loki’s knife disappeared in an instant, same with Loki’s helmet.
Loki tried to use his magic to manipulate the ground under him, but to no avail. Loki looked at his hands and leered at the Draconequus.
Loki: What did you do to me, you monster?
Discord: I took away your magic. You will not need it where you are going.
Loki started to run towards Discord, but he found he couldn’t move. He looked down and saw his feet and legs slowly turning to stone.
Discord: Now if you will excuse me, I have a tea party to catch.
Discord flew off to Ponyville, leaving Loki to slowly petrify.
Loki: No...
Loki’s legs and torso turned to stone.
Loki: Nooooo....
Loki’s arms and neck turned to stone.
Loki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
Loki gave one last yell as his head turned to stone.
Meanwhile, a few miles away Fluttershy was sitting at a table with Discord, enjoying some tea and crumpets, when she heard a faint yell.
Fluttershy: Oh, my. What was that strange noise?
Discord: I’m sure it was nothing. Can you pass the sugar?
KO!
Loki’s petrified body is dragged across the ground by Zecora, eager to investigate the God of Mischief’s corpse.
Results[]
Boomstick: Damn, what a stone-cold finish!
Wiz: This was an incredibly tricky one to figure out, no pun intended. Both Loki and Discord seemed to be even in a lot of ways. They both have survived similar attacks from apocalyptic beings, so durability was kind of a moot point.
Boomstick: In terms of raw strength, if we scale them to Thor and Princess Luna, Loki seemed to be stronger, but we don’t have a good way to know for sure. With strength and toughness are out of the picture, all we had to go off of was magical abilities and experience. While Loki did have more experience fighting than Discord, it hardly mattered in the end.
Wiz: Discord's magic and Loki’s magic did seem to be about even in what they can accomplish, and this almost seemed like an even fight. Key word being almost. Loki’s maximum destructive abilities included planet destroying capabilities, but Discord defeated Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, who move the sun and the moon on a daily basis. It's possible that they could be more powerful than Thor.
Boomstick: Well, surely there’s no way Princess Celestia could stack up to the might of Thor. He literally has a hammer that uses the core of a dying star!
Wiz: Well, it’s stated that Celestia can destroy entire worlds, and we can actually prove this. In order for Princess Celestia to move the sun and the stars as seen in the show, she would need to an energy output of at least 1.45 quattuordecillion joules. That’s over 1 KiloFOE.
Boomstick: Hey, I remember FOE. That’s that supernova output we calculated way back with Shazam. So then that means...
Wiz: That means that Princess Celestia uses enough energy daily to cause over 1,000 supernovas, over a trillion times greater than the dying star Mjonir was forged in. And we’re really lowballing Celestia’s power. Since Discord defeated both her and Luna in combat, it's likely that Discord is much more powerful.
Boomstick: Jesus Christ, don’t fuck around with ponies! And we didn’t even mention the other magical powers Discord had that can end the fight quickly, like warping probability so that Loki’s attacks don’t hit as hard as they should, warping to another dimension, or just taking away Loki’s magic altogether.
Wiz: Overall, Loki had the deadlier weaponry and the fighting experience, but with such a large gap in power output and magical abilities, Discord had everything he needed to win.
Boomstick: If you really think about, Loki needs to go all-out in order to stand a chance against Thor, which is something Discord never really bothered to do. The only times he lost was when others used magic specifically designed to hurt him. “Lo-Ki,” Discord had this in the bag. Get it? Because low-key sounds like Loki and-
Wiz: The winner is Discord.
Trivia[]
· The connection between Loki and Discord is that they are both powerful, cunning trickers that are usually classified as “Gods” in their respective canons. They both have similar powers (reality manipulation, animation, cloning, teleportation, matter manipulation, and superhuman abilities), and they both have tried world conquest at least once in their lifetimes. Both have also survived fights against apocalyptic creatures (Surtur and Tirek, respectively), and both are nigh-immortal characters that are difficult to contain and/or kill.