Description[]
These two boxers are gonna...well...box each other in today! Will Super Boxer overpower Little Mac? Or will Little Mac keep his title?
Introduction[]
Carl: Boxing, one of the most underrated sports out there.
Yazo: But still very popular and one of my favorites, aside from Bandy.
Carl: Little Mac, the small but fast boxer from Punch Out.
Yazo: And Super Boxer, the tall but fast boxer from TABS. He's Carl and I'm Yazo.
Carl: And it's out job to analyzer their amour, weapons, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!
Little Mac punches out in Death Battle![]
Carl: Mac-
Yazo: Wait, a fucking moment, his name is Mac?
Carl: Yup. Little Mac was born in Bronx, NY, and grew up, surprisingly normal, he wanted to become a boxer, but due to his short stature, no coach took him seriously.
Yazo: Until, he met a previous boxing champ, Doc Louis.
Carl: Mac and Louis trained day and night, to push Mac to superhuman limits.
Yazo: McDonalds Mascot over here trained for months, and entered several boxing tournaments.
Carl: But he could not do win without some abilities.
- Star Punch - A powerful uppercut gained by landing precise hits on the opponent; can obtain up to three stars.
- Straight Lunge - A chargeable punch that will send Mac straight forward.
- Jolt Haymaker - Mac hops into the air with a horizontality leap and a downwards punch.
- Rising Uppercut - An uppercut that will send Mac, and anyone he hits, into the air.
- Slip Counter - Mac fakes a hit, and counters with a powerful punch.
- KO Punch - A punch that is charged throughout a battle via dealing/taking damage.
Yazo: Eventually, Mac defeated Mike Tyson, and became a champion worldwide.
Carl: Mac then took a early retirement and lived on an island, and became super fat.
Yazo: Until some dude helped get back on his feet. Both figuratively and literally.
Carl: And Mac got back to doing what he loved. And he got on top again.
Yazo: Mac is an excellent strategist. Being able to predict an opponent's next attack.
Carl: But if shit hits the fan, Mac will pull one last move. Giga Mac, a more powerful version of himself. He obtains this form from fueling up Giga Mac Juice.
Yazo: I want some of this Giga Mac Juice.
Carl: As I was saying, it boosts Mac's strength, but decreases his speed. But this change is temporary.
Yazo: Being a boxer, Mac has got to have some feats.
- Knocked down King Hippo, who is over 500lbs.
- Kept up with Piston Honda, who could outrun a bullet train.
- Kept up with Great Tiger, who could teleport.
- Took punches from Mr. Sandman, who could destroy a building with one punch.
- Kept fighting after having his arm broken.
- Won every single title than the WVBA had to offer.
Yazo: *sniff* What is that smell? Calculations?
Carl: Let's do some math. Mr. Sandman could destroy a building. Now, this feat isn't as impressive as it seems. Comparing everyone in the scene's size to the building, I estimate this feat to be about 1/4 of a ton.
Yazo: Really? I was expecting like, 32 tons. Something ridiculous like that.
Carl: Nope! Anyways, like I always say, everything in existence has a weakness, and Mac's weakness is that if he's brought into the air, he's essentially helpless.
"RIGHT ON!"
Super Boxer returns stronger than ever in Death Battle![]
Carl: Ah, the world of Totally Accurate Battle Simulator.
Yazo: Shut up, get to the point.
Carl: How rude, Russian Cultist.
Yazo: Whatever, Nerdy Bitch.
Carl: Anyways, Super Boxer is just a more powerful version of the normal Boxer unit, and is the third most powerful unit, with Super Peasant and Dark Peasant fighting for second and first.
Yazo: Yeah, the "most powerful" in TABS is like trying to figure out the funniest show on TV. Personally, I like Family Guy most, but South Park and the Simpsons have some good jokes.
Carl: Yazo's preferences aside, Super Boxer is much less powerful than both of the Peasants, Super Boxer can still hold his own and defeat anyone that isn't one of the peasants.
Yazo: This guy's only weapons are the glowing boxing gloves that he wields. But they pack a punch.
Carl: Yes, they can punch at ridiculous speeds. Easily overwhelming an opponent to win. Actually, that's basically SB's whole gimmick. Getting in close, then overwhelm this fast punches.
Yazo: But he has more than fast punches. He has an ability called "Super Boxer Punch." Huh. Creative. It's just a singular punch that causes an explosion.
- Costs 10,000 to put on the field.
- Easily destroy a tank with nothing but punches. (Takes about 12,089,250 psi)
- Could kill gods (Zeus, Artemis, and Thor.)
- Could out-pace normal humans.
- Could dodge lightning.
- Could tank hits from ballista's, cannons, catapults, bullets, lightning, and even Mjolnir.
- Survived being deleted, then brought back. (This is a joke.)
Yazo: With this many feats, I'm surprised he can lose.
Carl: Don't get the wrong idea, he has a few weaknesses.
- Is helpless in the air.
- Someone with fast projectiles can keep him at a distance.
- Super Boxer Punch has a cooldown.
- Can be overwhelmed, depending on enemies.
Yazo: Still, it's hard to defeat someone has fast, strong and durable as the Super Boxer.
Carl: Too true. But, hey! HE CAN KILL GODS.
Yazo: The fuck does he do that?
Carl: Well, really powerful punches, I guess.
Yazo: Huh. Family Guy is still the funniest, come at me bitches.
Pre-Death Battle[]
Carl: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibilities. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Yazo: And right now, it's time for a DEEAATTHH BAATTLLEE!!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Mac walked out the door, and walked into the arena.
"Weighing at 107 lbs., and having the height of 5 feet, 7 inches, it's our reigning champ, Little Mac!" The ringmaster says. Half of the room exploded with cheer. Mac noticed the crowd. Half of it were filled with normal people, along with some Nintendo characters. The other side had these strange red and blue people.
"And in this corner, weighing 110 lbs., at a height of 6 feet, 7 inches, it's our newcomer, and here to prove that he isn't gonna show mercy. It's Super Boxer." Ringmaster said again.
No one cheered. Polite claps, but no cheering. Mac noticed that Super Boxer was the same strange person that half the crowd was. Mac and Super Boxer got onto the ring and walked to the middle. Super Boxer put his gloves out. Mac hit them.
"FIGHT!" The ringmaster yells.
FIGHT![]
Super Boxer immediately unleashed a flurry of punches, knocking Mac backwards. Mac jumped forward and did the Jolt Haymaker. SB sidestepped. Mac quickly regained balanced, and uppercutted SB. SB backed up. SB ran at Mac and start punching rapidly.
"Oh, it looks like Super Boxer is gaining the upperhand, but I think the champ can handle this." The ringmaster commentated.
Mac counters, and punches SB, knocking him away. SB recovers, and goes back to punching Mac. the champ charges up, and uses the Straight Lunge, launching SB across the ring. Mac runs up, and uses the Rising Uppercut. SB falls on his face. Mac walks away from SB.
"Oh, and just like that, Super Boxer's the first to fall. Little Mac is surely handling this well, but it appears that Super Boxer is slowly overwhelming him." Ringmaster commentates.
SB gets up, punches the ground to cause a small crack and gets up. SB charges, activating the Super Punch. Mac sees, and uses the Star Punch. They collide, time seemingly freezing for a moment. A yellow and white explosion appears, and when the smoke clears. Both fighters are standing there. SB quickly runs behind Mac, and punches him into the air. SB runs if front of Mac, and mimics the Jolt Haymaker.
Mac is knocked to the ground.
"Woah! Little Mac has been knocked down! Each fighter has 1 knockout each, this could go either way!" Ringmaster exclaims. SB smacks his glove on his chest two times. Mac gets up. SB runs at him, but Mac uses the K.O. Punch. SB is knocked back, but doesn't fall. Mac runs at SB and punches SB in the stomach.
Mac tries to use Rising Uppercut, but SB sidesteps. SB punches two more times, before punching Mac to the other side of the arena. SB ran up and started punching. Mac blocks. SB gets frustrated. He charges up Super Punch. Mac charges Straight Lunge. They charge, but Mac dodges, and uppercuts with the Straight Lunge. SB hits the metal grate keeping the lights up. It falls. Mac supports it, to keep it from crushing it. Suddenly, it gets lighter.
Mac looks, and sees SB helping lift it. Eventually, a crane comes and lifts the grate, and reattaches it to the ceiling. Both fighters pant for a moment. Mac runs up to SB and punches the boxer in the face. SB backs up, face away from the camera. It's face comes back into view. Blood runs down it's face. SB wipes the blood.
SB runs at Mac, and punches him in the stomach. Mac backs up. He takes a swig of Giga Mac Juice, making him transform into Giga Mac.
Giga Mac punches SB who flies across the ring. Giga goes to punch SB again, who blocks it. Mac punches again, only to have his punch countered by SB's. They start exchanging punches, some hitting each other's punches, some missing, some hitting each other's body. They didn't care, it didn't matter. Blood flew all over the arena.
The only thing that was going through either's brain, was victory. Eventually, SB uses the Super Punch, and gut-punches Giga. Mac backs up, and transforms back.
The scene turns black and white, with only spilled blood colored a dark red. Each fighters pant. Only one fighter had enough to go on. SB stopped panting. He walked up to Mac, and uppercuts to launch Mac into the air. When Mac falls down, SB unleashes a long flurry of attacks into SB's stomach.
SNAP!
SB stops punching, and Mac flies into the stadium walls, dead where he lay.
K.O!!!
SB walks out of the arena, while the crow and ringmaster sat there, in silence.
Results[]
Yazo: Fuck. Now I see why Super Boxer doesn't go to actual boxing tournaments. He'd get banned quickly.
Carl: Little Mac may be the champion boxer for good reason, but SP had him trumped in almost everything.
Yazo: Let's talk strength.
Carl: Mac could knock down King Hippo, who weighs about 500 lbs. This is our best strength feat for base form Mac. Let's say Giga Mac was 2x stronger than base form, so about 1000 lbs.. Super Boxer could destroy tanks with a few punches, which takes about twelve million psi or 5 thousand tons.
Yazo: Durability was also pretty one-sided. Sure, Mac could take hits from Mr. Sandman, who could destroy a building with one punch, which is 0.25 tons of pressure (If given the same x2 stats as we did with strength, it'd be 50 lbs.), by the way, while Super Boxer could take lightning bolts, ballista bolts, catapults, canons, and even Thor's hammer for crying out loud.
Carl: Thor's hammer caused a giant crater, which comparing other units the Thor's hammer, which gives us a length of 0.2 meters. Comparing the hammer to the crater, it has a depth of 1.3m and a diameter of 6m. Calculating the crater's volume as a half-ellipsoid, it's reveals a volume of 23.445^3.(23445000cm^3). Which is about a Building Level feat.
Yazo: Thanks to Vrokorta for the math!
Carl: Speed was easy. One could keep up with people who can outrun bullet trains, while the other could dodge lightning.
Yazo: Intelligence was a no-brainer. Heh heh. Super Boxer is really, really dumb. While Mac is a strategist.
Carl: Experience was a tricky one to figure out. While Mac has more overall experience, he has never faced anyone on Super Boxer's level, while Super Boxer has fought and beaten people who technically surpass him.
Yazo: Now, let's look technically. Little Mac is a swarmer, and while Super Boxer doesn't technically have a boxer "type" it's reasonable to assume that he is a Slugger, due to Super Boxer's fighting style. Which swarmer's usually struggle against.
Carl: Mac could stand a decent chance, but Super Boxer was stronger, more durable, and faster.
Yazo: I have to admit, it was a good "Punch Out" but Super Boxer "Totally" had that win.
Soundtrack Cover[]
The cover would be called "A Totally Accurate Punch Out!" referencing each of the series titles.
The cover would show the Heavyweight Belt from Super Punch Out! But with the Landfall symbol replacing the eagle on it. The background would show each fighter's respective boxing glove.