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Little Mac vs Rocky Balboa
Adobe 20200107 202415
Season 1, Episode 1
Vital statistics
Air date January 4, 2020
Written by DYMallday
Directed by DYMallday
Episode guide
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Description[]

Punch-Out vs Rocky! Which underdog boxer will get the KO?

Interlude[]

(Cue Welcome to Station Square - Sonic Adventure)

Dym: Boxing, one of mankind's oldest sports.

Yar: And with any great individual sport, there's always an underdog to root for.

Dym: Like Little Mac, the diminutive WVBA champion.

Yar: And Rocky Balboa, the Italian Stallion.

Dym: I'm Dym and he's Yar.

Yar: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Little Mac[]

NOTE: This is using the Wii version of Little Mac.

(Cue Minor Circuit - Punch-Out!!)

Dym: Little Mac is a boxer who stands at a mere five foot seven tall and one hundred ten pounds.

Yar: He sure isn't getting any Tinder matches.

Dym: You wouldn't be the first to brush Mac off because of his size.

Yar: And I won't be the last! Heh heh heh.

Dym: Ugghhhh...

Yar: Well, what can he exactly do?

Dym: Win the the WVBA title.

Yar: Yeah, in its lowest weight class.

Dym: Actually, there are no weight classes.

Yar: What the fu-

Dym: Yep, Mac has struck down many fighters who are much larger than him in his climb to the title and defense of his belt.

Yar: That would be like if won my fight with that gorilla!

Dym: Ignoring the fact that you got me banned from the zoo, Little Mac actually laid the smackdown on Donkey Kong.

Yar: In Smash Bros?

Dym: In his game.

Yar: Again, WHAT THE FU-

Dym: DK was not even trying. He's pulling his punches and taunting all fight. I'd put an asterik next to it.

Yar: So what! The dude knocked out an ape!

(Cue Jogging/Countdown - Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS/Wii U)

Dym: Maybe we should discuss his fighting style?

Yar: Hell yeah! Dude must have that secret all those online ads are going on about.

Dym: The multiplayer only Giga Mac mode is literally that, but he didn't canonically use it-

Yar: Wait, Giga Mac? First off, why isn't it called Big Mac, second of all, holy shit he's built! He makes Shaq look like Urkel!

Dym: Back on topic. He was trained by former champion Doc Louis. He fights by primarily avoiding hits, and then counterattacking.

Yar: With his weight, that seems smart.

Dym: Which brings up his main weakness. The dude is fragile as can be. With a few heavy hits, he's down to mat. A few more knockdowns and he won't get back up.

Yar: So he can't really get hit at all then?

Dym: Yes, but he is very good at not getting hit. His reaction times are top tier.

Yar: So they can't knock him down, but he couldn't do so either, right?

Dym: Wrong. Mac specializes in stunlocking his opponents, getting multiple hits in at a time.

Yar: Yeah, but that seems kinda slow. Well, with 12 rounds you can get away with it-

Dym: The WVBA only has 3 round fights, Yar.

Yar: Then how can he get the job done in time?

Dym: Two words. Star Uppercut. He learned this technique from Doc Louis. If Mac hits an opponent when they aren't expecting it, such as in the middle of an attack or taunt, he gains a star. By unleashing a star uppercut, he can hit a lot harder.

Yar: So he-

Dym: Not finished, Yar. He can stack up to 3 stars for even more devastating attacks. A fully charged 3 star uppercut can take down nearly all of their health. Do it at a point of weakness, and the fight might see a premature conclusion.

Yar: Can this man be stopped?

Dym: Yes. If you hit Mac, he loses all of his stars. And if you block enough of his punches, he'll be tired and only able to dodge. If he dodges for long enough without getting hit, this ailment will go away. Add his frailty in, and you have a clear blueprint for defeat.

Yar: Ok, final question. How strong is that 3 star uppercut?

Dym: Bald Bull once trained to beat Mac by taking a bull charge to the stomach, to where no normal punches could knock him down. However, a standard star punch can do the job, and a 3 star can get him down quick. Also, Mac beat Mr. Sandman, who demolished an entire building with his blows, and Piston Hondo, who outran a bullet train.

Yar: Don't interrupt me Dym. WHAT THE FUCK!

Dym: Mac's opponents are really weird, Yar.

Yar: How about I move onto more familiar territory, Dym?

Dym: Seconded. I'm tired of being the encyclopedia, you have Rocky.

Yar: Wait! I'm not-

(Little Mac is shown celebrating after a win.)

Rocky Balboa[]

(Cue Redemption - Rocky II)

Yar: Dym, you should feel lucky that I love Rocky, or else you'd have ruined the show!

Dym: Whatever.

Yar: Rocky Balboa was a collector for a loan shark that boxed in clubs. Then, he would get an offer he couldn't refuse. The opportunity to fight the champion for the heavyweight title.

Dym: You see, Apollo Creed's opponent broke his hand, and every other top level boxer turned him down. So, Apollo just got somebody from the Philly area to fight him.

Yar: And while you would assume that he'd be out in two rounds, max, he trained hard enough that he would last the full 15 rounds. Yeah, they weren't 12 rounds long back then.

Dym: While he didn't win, he shook the champ, and inspired the nation. Apollo would challenge him to a rematch, which he only accepted due to financial problems.

Yar: Wish I had an out as easy as just beat a guy up! Still late on my rent, can you cover me-

Dym: No.

Yar: Well, at least I asked. Rocky still had an issue before the rematch. He had injured his eye in their first match, and would risk blindness if he would fight again.

Dym: Yet by simply fighting right handed instead of his natural southpaw style, he could protect his eye and throw Apollo off.

Yar: Don't act like that's easy. You ever write with the wrong hand?

Dym: Given your elementary school handwriting, I guess you do so often.

Yar: Ouch. Well, Rocky used his unconventional style to take Apollo down.

(Cue Hearts on Fire - Rocky IV)

Dym: Get to his abilities, Yar.

Yar: I'm not done telling his story, yet. Afterwards, he defended his title ten times in a row, only for a newcomer named Clubber Lang to challenge him.

Dym: Rocky got knocked out in the 2nd round.

Yar: His trainer died, give him a break! Rocky would receive some help from Creed, and train to beat Lang. He had a strategy. Tire Lang out, then go for it.

Dym: After taunting enough, he would take a pretty easy win.

Yar: But now comes the best part. The Soviets had a fighter that they hyped up. Ivan Drago had an exhibition match with Apollo, and kinda killed him dead.

Dym: Then Rocky just went to the former U.S.S.R. and trained hard enough to outdo the Soviet's roids and tech and have the Soviet crowd cheer him on.

Yar: And it is excellent. Rocky shows that no matter how insurmountable a challenge may appear, work hard, and you can get it.

Dym: Rocky at his strongest in IV, so let's just move on to his fighting skills.

Yar: Rocky is pretty quick on his toes. He can dodge punches pretty well.

Dym: But Rocky is primarily built around his strength. He hits hard and sends other hardhitters to the floor.

Yar: His stamina is nothing to sniff at either. Rocky can take fights to the final round and not lose his energy.

Dym: But what is really impressive is his durability.

Yar: Ivan Drago hits hard. I brought up how he killed Apollo, but those Soviet scientists measured the pounds per square inch of force exerted by his punches.

Dym: That number? 2150, which is far above the human record.

Yar: And more in this fight than any other, Rocky was taking hit after hit. And he pretty much shrugged it off! I mean, aside from the brain damage plotline of Rocky V.

Dym: But what his greatest attribute may be is his courage. When Rocky is pushed to the limit, he keeps going, and won't quit. Every impossible challenge he's faced, he overcomes. Rocky is strong not only physically, but mentally.

Yar: And that is why Rocky is such an iconic character. While he doesn't offer us much to work with moveset wise, he doesn't need to. His determination has continued to carry him through impossible obstacles.

Rocky: I just wanna say one thing to my wife who's home. YO ADRIAN, I DID IT!

Death Battle[]

Two announcers are shown outside of a boxing ring.

Announcer 1: This is looking to be an excellent match. The world heavyweight champion, Rocky Balboa, will be taking on the champion of the WVBA, Little Mac!

Announcer 2: I agree. The stakes are pretty high here tonight. Both fighters plan to retire after this match, win or lose. This matchup has been hyped up for a long time, and will play a key role in both fighters legacies.

Announcer 1: This fight will be going by the WVBA ruleset. Do you think Balboa can adjust to the faster pace?

Announcer 2: He's done crazier things before.

It cuts to the ring.

Weighing in at 202 pounds, from Philadelphia, Rocky Balboa!

The crowd cheers as Rocky enters the ring.

Weighing in at 107 pounds, from the Bronx, Little Mac!

The crowd cheers on as Mac enters the ring

Doc Louis: Alright Mac baby, I know you're the champ, go and show the world.

Both fighters leave their corner and meet in the center of the ring. Rocky shakes Mac's hand. Both smile. They put their hands up, and contort their faces into a grimace. The bell rings. The 1st round has begun.

FIGHT!!!

(Cue Gonna Fly Now - Rocky)

Rocky throws a punch, and Mac dodges. Mac then lands a combo of jabs on Rocky. Rocky goes for another punch to the head, but Mac avoids it, and proceeds to pull off another sequence of blows. Rocky goes back, and tries to land a body blow. Mac avoids it again, and does a series of uppercuts on Rocky.

Rocky, appearing mostly unfazed, tries to throw another punch, but Mac socks him in the jaw in the middle of it, gaining a star. Rocky tries again, only to receive the same result.

Announcer 2: This is truly shocking! Balboa can't seem to land a single punch!

Rocky then goes and throws another punch at Mac. Mac dodges, but then immediately finds himself a glove in the face. Mac wipes some sweat off of his face, and attempts to hit Rocky in the middle of a punch. The attempt fails, and Mac is at the receiving end of another hit. Rocky then attempts to do it thrice, but Mac dodges a first and a second punch, then pulling a combo on Rocky's face.

The advantage shifts back in Mac's hands. Rocky goes for another punch and misses. Rocky then misses a punch again, and then again, and then again and then again. Rocky then tries to land a heavier blow on Mac, but Mac interrupts him, gaining a star. Rocky, starting to get tired, sluggishly throws another punch, which Mac intercepts for a second star. Rocky catches his breath, only for Mac to hit him in the ribs, gaining a third star.

Mac then dodges a punch and throws the 3 star uppercut. Rocky is launched to the other side of the ring. The referee counts down.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

Rocky begins to get up.

FIVE!

SIX!

Rocky climbs off the ground and stalls out the final ten seconds of the round. It cuts to Rocky's corner, as he tries to figure out the problem in the first round.

Rocky: He's too quick. How do I hit him?

Duke: You can't attack Mac first. You gotta get him to strike first.

Paulie: And if you corner him, he can't dodge nothing!

Rocky: Got it.

(Cue Eye of the Tiger - Rocky III)

The second round begins. Little Mac waits for Rocky to attack, but gets nothing. Rocky quickly taunts him. Mac tries to strike during the opening, but is blocked. Rocky proceeds to land a powerful blow. Rocky waits for Mac to strike again. He baits Mac again, and lands another heavy blow. Once again, Mac swings, gets blocked. Mac goes for another uppercut, only to get knocked down by a heavy blow to the head.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

Little Mac gets back up. Rocky then hugs Mac, and takes him into the corner. Mac, unable to dodge, is hit with a strong punch to the head, and another, and another, and one more. Mac is quickly sent back on his back.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

Mac grabs onto the ropes, and begins to pull himself up.

FIVE!

SIX!

Little Mac gets back on his feet. Rocky proceeds stand in defense. Mac swings, and is blocked. Mac takes another shot, and is blocked. Mac then attempts to hit Rocky four more times, with each being blocked. Little Mac is glowing purple. Rocky hits Mac with a punch, and then another. But right before he can knock him down, the bell rings to end the second round.

It cuts to Doc and Mac in their corner.

Doc Louis: Listen Mac, you gotta make sure to avoid Rocky's counter punches. And don't forget your star uppercuts.

(Cue World Circuit - Punch-Out!!)

Mac nods and enters the ring, as the final round begins. Little Mac throws a punch at Rocky, which is quickly blocked, but Mac dodges the counter blow and sets up a combo. Rocky swings at Mac, and gets intercepted for a star. Mac gets blocked, but uses his star punch to intercept Rocky, knocking him down.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Rocky gets up. Rocky throws a haymaker, which Max dodges and starts a combo. Rocky blocks another one of Mac's punches, before falling victim to another combo. The sequence is repeated, but instead of a combo, it's an intercept for a star. Mac does the sequence again. With two stars, he goes for an uppercut on Rocky, but Rocky dodges. Mac then intercepts Rocky's punches twice more, but gets intercepted by Rocky as he tries to pull off the move. Rocky then sends Mac to the corner of the ring. With one fast sequence of blows Mac is back down.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

Mac falls down as he tries to get up.

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

Against all odds, Mac is back on his feet. With bruises all over his face, he couldn't afford to take much more damage. One hit could do him in. His vision was blurred, but he was determined to get the job done.

Mac sees Rocky approaching him, trying to get him in the corner once more. Mac lets him in. While he can hardly see much, he can tell that a punch is heading his way. He swings, and gains a star. Rocky then quickly does two more, but by some miracle, the nearly blinded Mac intercepts both. Rocky then proceeds to throw one more punch, but Mac then perfectly times a three star uppercut to his skull.

The force of the hit is overwhelming. Rocky has his head launched into the air as a geyser of blood pours from his neck. Mac hadn't noticed, as the force of the punch, combined with his delirious state, had knocked him unconscious. The announcers can be heard vomiting.

KO!

Doc Louis is shown carrying an unconscious Mac with blood on his face out of the ring, while Rocky is shown in heaven with Mickey and Apollo.

Results[]

(Cue Title Screen - Punch-Out!!)

Yar: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Dym: While both boxers were really good, Mac was just on another level.

Yar: Yeah. While Rocky is content with taking hits and throwing them, with a strategy of outlasting the fighter, Mac has reacted to punches from a man who's outran a bullet train!

Dym: And while strength and durability is Rocky's bread butter, Mac outdoes him there as well. Mac has fought on par with not just the building demolishing Mr. Sandman, but also the launching a bull out of an arena with a single punch Don Flamenco.

Yar: Once you reach that point, the strength beyond any real human that Drago has truly pales in comparison.

Dyn: Aside from stamina, Rocky is at the disadvantage in just about every category.

Yar: (in a really bad Russian accent) If Rocky dies, he dies.

Dym: The winner is Little Mac.

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AtomicMonkey4Life Version[]

Description[]

Interlude[]

Little Mac[]

Rocky Balboa[]

Intermission[]

Pre-Fight[]

DEATH BATTLE[]

Post Fight[]

Result[]

Notes[]

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