Kuma vs Ursaring is the second battle of the first season of PacmanIsGr8DontH8M8's Death Battles.
Interlude[]
Wiz: In many fighting tournaments around the world, there always seems to be at least one anthropomorphic grizzly bear in the fray.
Boomstick: Large imposing bear. That's my favorite martial art yet.
Wiz: Like Kuma, Heihachi's bodyguard from Tekken.
Boomstick: And Ursaring, the Hibernator Pokemon. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Kuma[]
Wiz: The Tekken Tournament. A world martial arts tournament where absolutely anyone and everyone can compete.
Boomstick: And this combatant really displays the "everyone can compete" rule.
Wiz: Abandoned as a cub, master of the tournament Heihachi Mishima found him during a forest stroll. He named him Kuma, after the Japanese word for bear.
Boomstick: Can these guys be any less creative with their naming?
Wiz: There's a velociraptor with boxing gloves named Alex.
Boomstick: OH, COME ON!!!
Wiz: When Kuma reached adulthood, Heihachi was able to teach him basic hand signals and remedial Japanese.
Boomstick: Because the bear can talk. Tekken logic.
Wiz: Heihachi saw potential in Kuma and taught him a new martial art called Kuma Shinken. He began to lose friends because they were afraid of his pet bear's presence at Mishima Estate.
Boomstick: You raise a bear to do martial arts and you're surprised that you're losing friends? Tekken logic.
Wiz: Heihachi convinced Kuma to show his power in the Tekken tournament...
Boomstick: Where he was absolutely destroyed by Paul Phoenix.
Wiz: So Kuma made it his ultimate goal to defeat Paul Phoenix once and for all. A goal he never achieved because he died of old age before the next tournament.
Boomstick: But luckily he had a son to carry on his legacy. And that son's name was... Kuma. The naming doesn't get worse than Alex, right?!
Wiz: There's a panda named Panda, a kangaroo with boxing gloves named Roger, and his son is named Roger, Jr.
Boomstick: Hey, Wiz, can you turn the camera towards me?
Wiz: Uh... sure.
(Boomstick is cutting a Tekken 6 disc in half with a table saw.)
Boomstick: NAME YOUR CHARACTERS BETTER, TEKKEN!!!
Wiz: Kuma II somehow inherited his father's martial arts skills and competed in the fourth Tekken tournament, where he was defeated by Paul Phoenix as well. He decided to run away from Heihachi and train in the forest to get in touch with his animal roots.
Boomstick: Because Kuma II was not only stronger than his father, but also smarter, he was able to develop the ultimate Kuma Shinken moveset.
Wiz: Kuma Shinken is a completely original martial art. He starts most of his combos with the Circus Roll and an upward spike, then sending his opponent with enough force to crack asplaht. His signature moves include bear based attacks such as the Bear Bite, the Bear Hug, the Grizzly Windmill, the... Demon Bear Fist...
Boomstick: Tekken logic.
Wiz: ...the Salmon Hunter and the Big Bear Belly Flop, with normal human wrestling maneuvers mixed in, such as the Choke Slam, the Body Swing, the Stone Head, the Iron Booty...
Boomstick: Heh heh heh.
Wiz: the Roundhouse Kick and the Lariat.
Boomstick: Yeah, the Choke Slam is bad enough, but when you have that clawed paw wrapped around your throat, it's bound to be even more painful.
Wiz: It gets even worse. Kuma's super art is... a giant fart.
Boomstick: What the FUCK?! Did they pull a page from Wario's playbook?
Wiz: Probably. But Kuma does have a problem. He would much rather sleep and watch TV than fight. He only uses Kuma Shinken when absolutely necessary. Despite this fatal flaw, he was finally able to defeat Paul in the next tournament, but his master wasn't alive to see it. Kuma decided to avenge his savior by... taking ownership of the Mishima Financial Group, which was appropriated by Jin Kazama.
Boomstick: This is a worse story arc than Sonic Boom.
Wiz: We'll have to see where his story takes him next. But there's no denying that Kuma is by far one of the fiercest bears in gaming.
(Kuma growls.)
Ursaring[]
Wiz: Ursaring is the Hibernator Pokemon and is basically the only thing still giving Normal types a good reputation.
Boomstick: He's certainly powerful, and human-sized. Standing at 5'11" and weighing 277 pounds, Ursaring is built like a professional wrestler with giant claws.
Wiz: His ability Guts gives him 50% more attack when he's affected by a status condition.
Boomstick: But even then he's stacked in that department with a 130 base attack stat.
Wiz: He evolves from Teddiursa at level 30, and his name is derived from the Latin for bear, Ursus, and the giant yellow ring on his chest.
Boomstick: FINALLY! A decent name! I'm trading all my Tekken games for Pokemon now.
Wiz: You just destroyed them all with a table saw.
Boomstick: Oh... right.
Wiz: Being a Normal type Pokemon, he's only weak to Fighting attacks, and he's completely immune to Ghost moves.
Boomstick: He has an incredible arsenal. He starts out right away with Hammer Arm, a Fighting-type attack with 100 base damage.
Wiz: He loves to use Slash, Smack Down and Thrash. He uses Rest to regenerate health, and has Snore and Sleep Talk to attack even when asleep.
Boomstick: He also has Hyper Beam and Earthquake, two unbelievably overpowered moves. But seriously, are there any Pokemon who can't learn those moves?
Wiz: You mean besides Magikarp?
Boomstick: Of course.
Wiz: Hmm. I'll have to get back to you on that. He can use Dig to burrow underground and pop back up, Stone Edge to hit an opponent with rocks, Swords Dance to increase his already sizeable attack, and Giga Impact, an even more powerful version of Take Down.
Boomstick: There's just one problem with Ursaring. He's... super lazy.
Wiz: Yeah, he's certainly earned his name "the Hibernator Pokemon." But with proper training, Ursaring is an absolute force.
(Ursaring cry.)
Pre-Battle[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!!!
Death Battle!!![]
(Ursaring is sleeping in a cave, when Kuma steps in and lies down. The patter of his claws wake Ursaring up, infuriating him. Ursaring moves over to the sleeping Kuma and claws him across the chest, waking him up as well, and splattering some blood on the cave floor. Kuma hops up and prepares for a battle.)
FIGHT!
(Kuma charges forward with his claws, using the Circus Roll and Upward Spike combo. Kuma sends him to the ground with enough force to crack the ground. Ursaring gets up and he tries the Grizzly Windmill. Ursaring counters with Slash, knocking Kuma back. Kuma runs forward again and fakes Ursaring out with a swipe, which Ursaring tries to block. This leaves his throat exposed, allowing him to execute a Choke Slam and a Big Bear Belly Flop. Ursaring hops up and uses Swords Dance, then Earthquake, which cracks the ground and knocks Kuma down while bringing several rocks down. Ursaring then uses Hammer Arm to hit him across the face as Kuma tries to get back up. He then hits him with Smack Down, cracking the ground under him. Kuma then uses a Roundhouse Kick, bringing Ursaring to his knees, Kuma picks him up, and lands a Stone Head, knocking him out cold. Kuma then charges up the Demon Bear Fist, but Ursaring uses Thrash... while asleep? Yes, he wasn't knocked out, he was asleep all along! He used Rest to regain his health and Sleep Talk to attack. Ursaring then uses Snore to rock the cave as more rocks fall. Kuma dodges them, but Ursaring wakes up and picks them up and uses Stone Edge, hitting Kuma in the head multiple times. He then becomes trapped under more rocks. Ursaring tries to hibernate again. But then Kuma bursts out of the rocks! Ursaring is still asleep even after the commotion. He puts his butt right next to Ursaring's face and farts, waking him up and dazing him. Kuma then rushes Ursaring and bares his claws. He uses the Bear Bite to clamp around his head and leave an incision in his skull, then the Demon Bear Fist to blast a hole through Ursaring's yellow ring in his abdomen. Blood spurts out and Kuma picks him up for the Bear Hug and squeezes his blood out. Kuma then begins to hibernate with Ursaring as a blanket.)
K.O.!
Post-Battle[]
Boomstick: Well, Ursaring certainly didn't faint.
Wiz: Both fighters had the chops to win, but Kuma's expertise won out. Kuma was smarter and stronger than his father, and had more training than a wild Ursaring. He's also developed a greater arsenal through Heihachi, his father, and his own isolated practice. Kuma had more techniques, and it became too much for Ursaring to handle.
Boomstick: Ursaring just couldn't squeeze out a victory.
Wiz: The winner is Kuma.
Next Time on Death Battle[]
FF vs WoW
Sword vs Hammer
Light vs Light
WARRIOR OF LIGHT VS UTHER, THE LIGHTBRINGER
This Labor Day
A message from Pac[]
Hey guys. School has been really rough on me, and I probably won't have time to make many battles. Expect to see my next one soon, probably on Labor Day, cause I want to give you guys your fill of Death Battle.
Also, upon my research, Sephiroth would hardly have a chance to win. My job is to make eventful, close DBs for your enjoyment. Therefore, Sephiroth vs Shulk is scrapped.