| Kratos VS Ratchet | |
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[[File: | |
| Season 2, Episode 11 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | December 3, 2017 |
| Written by | TheMetallicBlur |
| Directed by | TheMetallicBlur |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Jak & Daxter vs Banjo-Kazooie | Gaara VS Hippowdown |
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Description[]
Two of Sony's walking arsenals are going head to head. Will Kratos make it so that Ratchet doesn't see the end of this day, or will Ratchet's victory skyrocket? Stay tuned!
Interlude[]
( Cue ~ Invader - Jim Johnston)
Wiz: If there's one thing a warrior must know, its that he must always be prepared with every weapon he has at his disposal. The arsenal of a warrior can be diverse, menacing, or even just a harbinger of death.
Boomstick: And today, two of our combatants have arsenals that match those words.
Wiz: Like Kratos, the Ghost of Sparta.
Boomstick: And Ratchet, one of the Cosmic Commandoes. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.
Kratos[]
( Cue ~ The Manticore - God of War Ascension)
Wiz: Kratos is one of the most fearsome heroes in the video game universe, but his backstory isn't for the weak of heart. Born from Zeus and Calypso, Kratos had one dream he wanted to make come true, become a Spartan General.
Boomstick: So he and his brother Deimos trained their lives to become Spartans. Then, a few years later, Kratos became a Spartan soldier and then reached General ranking. Then one day, some warriors who call themselves the Barbarians wiped out his whole army.
Wiz: Desperate for survival, Kratos struck a deal with Ares, the God of War. In exchange for his loyalty, Ares would give Kratos the power to overcome his enemies.
Boomstick: After that experience, Ares tricked Kratos into slaughtering his own family. And boy, did that tick him off.
Wiz: As the hot, white ashes clung to his skin, his quest for revenge against Ares had begun. as a Demi-God, Kratos possesses strength, speed, and endurance. But what makes him a threat in battle are his lethal weapons like the Blades of Exile.
Boomstick: These bad boys are bound to Kratos' arms by chains. And thanks to their hook-like design, Kratos can whip em around or grab onto opponents to throw em like ragdolls or even bring em to him.
Wiz: Kratos is also an excellent swordfighter. Proof of this is what can be considered the most powerful sword the greek gods have to offer: The Blade of Olympus.
Boomstick: After having killed Ares, Kratos became the God of War, but Zeus tricked him into putting all his godly power into the blade, making him mortal once again. But on the plus side, this made the Blade even stronger with the potential to kill even the toughest gods. This baby can fire blasts of energy that can take out armies with one blow. And by stabbing it into the ground, Kratos can summon a powerful tornado that can harm the likes of Poseidon.
Wiz: But that's not the only weapon at his disposal. Kratos also wields the Bow of Apollo, which can shoot rapid-fire arrows which can actually get on fire when charged enough. Kratos also wields the Golden Fleece, a gold armlet that can block attacks from the likes of the Blade of Olympus and deflect magical attacks.
( Cue ~ Menace of the Underworld - God of War 2)
Boomstick: Then you've got the Nemean Cestus, two lion-looking metal gauntlets that make Kratos' punches even more powerful and stun foes with brutal shockwaves.
Wiz: Then you've got the Claws of Hades, which can mercilessly rip the souls out of their victims, but tough opponents like Kratos can resist them.
Boomstick: Then you've got the Boots of Hermes, which give him superhuman speed. He becomes fast enough to run up walls.
Wiz: And when he tangled with Icarus, he ripped off his wings for his own. He can use the wings for a mobility advantage, but they slowly fall apart during flight.
Boomstick: Kratos is strong enough to stop Chronos from crushing him, stop Hercules in his tracks when charging, and even overpowered the Hydra. Not to mention that he's a big fan of Sub-Zero's favorite method of killing as seen with Helios. He can also survive being impaled with the Blade of Olympus and even managed to keep up with Zeus, who moves at the speed of lightning.
Wiz: And while Kratos can act anger-proned, he's actually rather clever and wise. He was able to solve the Olympus' Garden puzzle, even while Hera doubted him. His wisdom is so great that it almost rivals that of Athena, who is the goddess of wisdom.
Boomstick: One of his most notable intelligence feats was breaking out of Aegaeon the Hekantonkheires prison by using Megaera's anger towards him.
Wiz: But while Kratos is strong, wise, and powerful, his greatest weakness is how he can easily be blinded by rage and aggression.
Boomstick: But hey, he's slaughtered krakens, statues, and mostly gods, so you don't wanna be on Kratos' bad side.
Kratos: The hands of death could not defeat me. The sisters of fate could not hold me. And you will not see the end of this day. I will have my revenge!
Ratchet[]
( Cue ~ Deep Space Jams 24 - Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time)
Wiz: In the depths of space live a special race known as Cragmites who wreaked havoc across the Polaris Galaxy eons until the Lombaxes fought back. This conflict would go down in history as the Great War.
Boomstick: After eons worth of a war, The Lombaxes won and banished them to another dimension. But, they left one behind, and boy was that a mistake!
Wiz: Raised as on of their own, Percival Tachyon betrayed the Lombaxes, raised an army of fish-people, and decided to give the Lombaxes a taste of their own medicine by bansihing them to another dimesion. And like the Lombaxes, he missed one leftover who proved to be greatest adversay.
Boomstick: This Lombax was named Ratchet who spent his time on some planet building a ship to explore the galaxy.
Wiz: But due to the lack of a robot incognition system, Ratchet's hunk of junk would never fly. Luckily for him, he met a robot named Clank. But we're talking about Ratchet. Ratchet is loaded with Nanotech, microscopic mahines which repair his body after any injury.
Boomstick: Nanotechnology, son! Ratchet wields a special weapon known as the OmniWrench, a skilled melee weapon used to destroy robots. Besides that, he also has his Omniblasters, his siganture sidearm that fires high-velocity protons.
Wiz: He also has many weapons that -
Boomstick: Not so fast, Wiz! You're not hogging the glory with all of Ratchet's weapons! Ratchet's got the Suck Cannon, which can suck in small enemies that fires them off as projectiles. He's also got the Miniturret Golve, which shoots turrets that can shoot ammo that destroys tanks.
Wiz: The Miniturret Glove can also used in a strategic manner as well. He also wields the Fusion Grenade, a glove that supplies Ratchet with throwable fusion grenades to throw at his enemies.
Boomstick: He's also got the Groovitron, which forces any foe to helplessly dance before them.
Wiz: Ratchet also comes equipped with force-fields, close range Razor Claws, and even a device called the Taunter that makes obnoxious noises that can be used to lure enemies into traps.
Boomstick: But there's still one more weapon that truly takes the cake is the RYNO V. This mini-gun rocket launcher hybrid unleashes a glorious river of death in whatever direction she's facing.
Wiz: But even then, Ratchet is fast enough to dodge close-range laser fire, strong enough to hold off a War Grok with an OmniWrench, and has even managed to win several gladiator battles.
Boomstick: And Ratchet's even survived dozens of crash landings, even one riding on an asteroid.
Wiz: However, Ratchet's ability to survive deadly blows depends on his amount of nanotech. If he runs out, the next blast is sure to be fatal.
Boomstick: But Ratchet's proven over and over again that he's one of the greatest heroes in the galaxy.
Ratchet: You were never a sidekick. You know that, right?
Pre-Death Battle[]
Wiz: Alright. The combatants are set. Lets end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Death Battle[]
Ratchet had traversed through a swamp. He was waiting for Clank to be done with a mission when he suddenly noticed a blue blast of energy coming towards him which he dodged at the last second. The person who shot the blsat revealed himself to be Kratos.
Ratchet: Whoa! Who are you?
Kratos: I'm Kratos, the Ghost of Sparta. I've heard tales of you, Lombax. And I wish to test your skills!
Ratchet: If you just wanted a fight, you could've just said so. You didn't have to fire a blast at me.
Ratchet readied his OmniWrench and Kratos readied his Blades of Exile.
Fight!
Kratos swung a Blade at Ratchet, but Ratchet dodged and brought out his Razor Claws and started parrying Kratos' blades.
Ratchet: You'll have to do better than that.
Kratos ran towards Ratchet and swung his Blades at Ratchet which Ratchet parried with his Claws. Ratchet backfliped away and brought out the Fusion Grenade and fired a grenade at Kratos, but Kratos brought out the Bow of Apollo and blew up the bomb in front of Ratchet blowing him into a tree. Ratchet brought out his OmniWrench and started beating up on Kratos and Kratos brought out the Nemean Cestus and uppercut Ratchet up into the air and waited and then punched him with enough force to break a tree. Kratos put on the Boots of Hermes and ran towards Ratchet while sticking out the Nemean Cestus, but Ratchet dodged and fired another Fusion Grenade that Kratos destroyed with a punch.
Ratchet brought out the Groovitron and Kratos started dancing.
Kratos: What sorcery is this?
Ratchet: Not sorcery. Science.
Ratchet jumped towards Kratos and started attacking him with the OmniWrench. The Groovitron wore off and Kratos threw a punch at Ratchet, but Ratchet brought out a forcefield and reduced the punch to a mere knockback. Kratos brought out the Claws of Hades and threw both of them at Ratchet and severed his soul, but Ratchet fought back for 5 minutes and regained his soul. Ratchet swung his OmniWrench, but Kratos blocked it with the Golden Fleece and shoulder-tackled him with it.
Kratos brought out his Blade of Olympus.
Ratchet: What is that?
Kratos: The Blade of Olympus. This weapon is a harbinger of death to even the toughest of gods. Not even Zeus can handle its raw power.
Ratchet: Well, if we're bringing out or ultimate weapon, then now is a good time to bring out this beauty. Ratchet brought out the RYNO V and fired missiles. Kratos fired a blue blast that caused an explosion. Ratchet put away the RYNO V and brought out the Miniturret Glove. Ratchet fired two turrets in place. Kratos fired a blue blast, but the turrets destroyed it. Kratos stabbed the ground, causing the black tornado. Ratchet brought out the Suck Cannon and sucked in some of it and blew it back at Kratos, knocking him back. Ratchet brought out the Taunter and started making obnoxious noises.
Kratos: Stop that infernal racket. STOP IT!
Ratchet kept going, blinding Kratos with rage, causing him to charge towards Ratchet, but as he reached Ratchet, he brought back the RYNO V and placed it at Kratos' chest.
Kratos: This was a trick, was it?
Ratchet: Umm, yes.
Ratchet fired th RYNO V and obliterated Kratos.
Ratchet: Well, that's that.
K.O!
- Ratchet took a nap.
- Kratos was being attcked by the gods he had slain.
Results[]
Boomstick: Talk about an awkward reunion.
Wiz: Kratos may have held the edge in strength and experience, but Ratchet's superior weaponry, defenses, and less exploitable weakness won out.
Boomstick: Kratos' arsenal is powerful, but its also old-fashioned and something that can easliy be understood by Ratchet.
Wiz: On the other hand, Ratchet's forcefields, lasers, and missile launchers are new to Kratos and he couldn't easily create a strategy against them. And while the Blade of Olympus could keep up with the RYNO V, it couldn't keep up with Ratchet's wackier weapons.
Boomstick: And while Kratos had few long range options and Ratchet had few close range options, Ratchet's long range options bested Kratos' close range options.
Wiz: To make matters worse for Kratos, Ratchet's close range options bested Kratos' long-range options.
Boomstick: And Ratchet's non-harming weapons would still be capable of defeating Kratos.
Wiz: The Groovitron would force Kratos to dance, leaving him vulnerable to enemy attacks. However, it would also frustrate Kratos becuase he wouldn't want to dance. And the Taunter would only make Kratos angry. So, in short, these two weapons would allow Ratchet to turn Kratos' greatest weakness against him.
Boomstick: Looks like there was an OmniWrench is Kratos' plans.
Wiz: The winner is Ratchet.