Kratos vs Doomslayer is a what-if Death Battle created by Dinoanime7.
Description[]
A battle of two godlike beings too angry to die, one was once a mortal on Earth who discovered Hell, before becoming a god himself another was a demigod, son of king of the gods, before becoming God of War. Who will win as the one who is truly too angry to die?
Interlude[]
Wiz: Rage. An emotion fills the air we breath and the world we walk. It can empower us, or led to our demise.
Boomstick: Characters like Hulk and Godzilla use their rage to empower their great strength and power.
Wiz: But today we have two characters much like these two are too angry to die. First up we have Doomslayer, the Hellwalker.
Boomstick: And there is Kratos, the God of War! He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Kratos[]
Wiz: Years ago, in the city of Greece, there was a demigod was born to the mortal Callisto and the king of all gods, Zeus.
Boomstick: Wait Zeus?! That grumpy old man?! Anyways, this child was ordered to be executed on the day it was born by Hera.
Wiz: However Zeus refused, and left his child on Sparta to be taken care by Callisto. He would go by the name of Kratos.
Boomstick: Kratos grew up to be a general who served as a general in the army and won many battles
Doomslayer[]
Intermission[]
Death Battle[]
Results[]
Boomstick: Doom Slayer the scourge of hell, the armored demon slayer from, well, DOOM
Wiz: And Kratos the Ghost of Sparta from the God of War series
Doom Slayer VS. Kratos
Boomstick: He’s Wiz and i’m Boomstick
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to determine who would win, a Death Battle
DOOM SLAYER[]
Wiz: The Doom Slayer’s real identity is unknown, all we know is that he was once a member of the marines, who was dishonorably discharged after attacking his commanding officer half to death because he ordered him to shoot at unarmed civilians.
Boomstick: After this event the Slayer was sent to mars, which was being overrun by the forces of hell, the demons, Eventually he would manage to find his way home….only to be met with earth overrun by demons and his wife, child, and pet rabbit Daisy being killed, really traumatic stuff there, This event resulted in him becoming..The DOOM Slayer formerly known as Doomguy, but despite all his power and badassery after the events of the first 2 DOOM games, the Slayer would become heavily traumatized, and would be consumed by rage and hatred, vowing the kill every demon, and extinguish hell…forever.
Background
Real name:??
Age: Eons
Height: 6’8” (7’0” in armor)
Weight: 359 lbs
Species: God (formerly human)
Boomstick: In order to achieve this you would need a lot fire power, but luckily for the Slayer he comes with plenty, including the super shotgun, which fires bullets a short distance and a built in grappling hook in order to get close so he can get a clear shot, the Heavy Assault Rifle, which is a rapid fire gun, and comes with a scope and sticky grenades, which he can switch between whenever he likes, and a rocket launcher, which comes with a homing feature, shooting 3 slightly weaker missiles and a remote detonation feature, which means after he shoots it he can choose when he wants it to blow up, but his strongest gun is the BFG 10,000 or the Big Fucking Gun, which is an energy weapon that shoots giant green balls of light out of it, otherwise known as argent energy which is harvests directly from hell, which is strong enough to blow a hole in mars at only a 25% charge, this calcs at 3.59633003474397e+23 kilotons of force which is 2.39755335649598e+22 times the force of the nuke dropped on Hiroshima.
Weapons
Super shotgun
Heavy Assault rifle
Plasma Rifle
Rocket Launcher
BFG 10K
Switchblade
Crucible blade
Grenades
Flame Thrower
Ice Grenades
Wiz: He’s not all guns though, he also has a switchblade built onto his suit, which is strong enough to cut clean through bone, a bone breaks at around 4,000 newtons of force, or 899.23 PSI, he also has a built on grenade launcher which he can use to not only fire grenades but it also doubles as a flame thrower and also shoots ice grenades to freeze enemies, although his strongest weapon by far is the Crucible, this sword is kind of like star wars lightsabers and is able to cut clean through enemies effortlessly and even freezing enemies in time as long as the blade is not removed it is also stated to be the only thing that can technically kill titans, but despite this it’s stated that the DOOM Slayer managed to kill a titan around the same level as the Icon, with his bare hands,which means the DOOM Slayer's fists are strong enough to negate immortality, and The Icon of Sin is strong enough to create a black hole big enough to suck the entire dimension into hell.
FEATS.
Blew a massive hole into mars
Kept up with Samur Myker and Khan Myker
Can survive the heat of the sun
Destroyed all of Hell and Urdak
Destroyed the father’s life sphere
Defeated Davoth, Icon of Sin, Khan Myker
Boomstick: The Doom Slayer is protected by the praetor suit, created by a demon called the wrench, the suit is said to be strong enough to withstand heat hotter than the sun, which is about 27 million degrees Fahrenheit, or 15,000,000 degrees Celsius, and tanks hits from the Icon of Sin which can cause earth to shake just by walking, and can warp reality solely by existing. Although arguably his best feat is killing Davoth, who is the creator of everything in the DOOM multiverse, and he did it without breaking a sweat, while Davoth was wearing armor similar to the praetor suit, and exists throughout the infinite multiverse, Urdak, and hell.
Wiz: the Doom Slayer was also strong enough to destroy the Fathers life sphere, which harbored the essence of the Father, which is where his insane powers come from, the father managed to create Davoth, which means DOOM Slayer destroyed the essence of the creator of the creator of the infinite multiverse. In the end, after the Slayer killed Davoth all the remaining demons on earth disappeared, and the earth was saved, letting the Doom Slayer finally rest, putting an end to his eternal rage.
KRATOS[]
Wiz: Kratos aka the Ghost of Sparta was born to Zeus and Callisto, although one of them was a god, the other wasn’t resulting in Kratos being a demi-god, Kratos used to be the brutal leader of the Spartan army and led his men to many conquest in Greece, after foolishly commanding his army to attack barbarians because of his overconfidence, the barbarians would end being too much for them though, and they eventually lost the battle, with Kratos barely escaping alive.
Boomstick: Soon after Kratos would encounter Ares, the god of war and make a deal with him, Kratos would soon after commit atrocity after atrocity, which resulted in his wife becoming terrified of him, this would all come fruition when Ares would trick Kratos into killing his own Wife and child.
Wiz: Soon after, the ashes of his dead wife and child would become melded into his skin, being forever reminded of what he’s done, this would lead to Kratos becoming highly depressed, and would eventually decide to get revenge for his family, and his honor, he would eventually shred through a whole Greek pantheon in order to achieve it.
Background
Name: Kratos
Age: 200+
Height: 6’4.5”
Weight: 240 lbs
Species: God (formerly Demi-God)
Boomstick: Doing this would not only require massive amounts of skill, but a massive variety of powerful weapons as well, these weapons include the blades of chaos, which are twin chained blades, these blades were not only physically powerful, but also had special magic powers, like pyrokinesis, fire absorption, and chain manipulation. He also has access to the spear of destiny, which is able to shoot razor sharp projectiles, it can also be used in order to create deadly hazards, which will explode on impact, and the Leviathan Axe, which has cryokinetic powers, weapon summoning, and extremely high durability, similar to Thor's hammer he can call the weapon to his hand at will.
Weapons
Blades of chaos
Blade of Olympus
Spear of destiny
Blades of Athena
Blades of Exile
Barbarian Hammer
Claws of Hades
Wiz: Kratos is completely immortal and cannot be killed by conventional means, not even other Gods are capable of getting the job done, with this curse he was able to kill many gods, consisting of two whole pantheons, these gods include the god of speed Hermes, who managed to dodge Helios’ charged solar flare, which was capable of illuminating the entire underworld, Hercules, who was able of lifting up the entirety of the Greek world so Atlas could retrieve the apples of Hera, and even killed the king of Olympus himself, his father Zeus, he also lifted the gate to the nine realms which is stated by the creator of God of War to weigh 20 million pounds
Feats
Kept up with the god of speed Hermes
Lifted the gate to the nine realms
Tanked Persephone's death explosion which destroyed the world pillar
Survived a hit from Poseiden’s trident
Went 3 days without food, water, or rest
Killed 2 entire Pantheons (which included Poseiden, Ares, Hermes, Hades, Zeus, and Thor)
Boomstick: In the end when it’s all said and done Kratos was finally able to move on and find peace, and he will do whatever it takes to protect his son.
Wiz: Also, his son is Loki.
Boomstick: What was that?
DEATH BATTLE[]
The Slayer comes out of a portal, he looks around and sees a hut, he approaches it and knocks on the door, a man comes out and asks him what he is doing there, a robotic voice then says, “A demonic invasion is about to occur, you have to leave now, or your home and everyone you care about will be destroyed.” Kratos got an angry expression on his face and said, “I have dealt with far worse than demons, leave my home.” Vega then responded with, “If you won’t leave then Slayer will have no choice but to make you leave with force.”
Suddenly Kratos punched the Slayer, the Slayer quickly regains his composer and dodges another punch from his opponent, he then got his heavy assault rifle and started shooting at him, Kratos then gets his leviathan ax out and blocks the bullets until DOOM Slayer ran out of ammo, after realizing this Kratos would began rushing at his foe and started unleashing various attacks at him, the Slayer then used his grenade launcher attachment causing a explosion in Kratos’ face staggering him and causing his ax to go flying into the ground, the Slayer then grabbed his enemies face and slammed him to the ground and stomped on his chest, causing Kratos to cough up blood, he would then pull out his plasma rifle and started unleashing various energy bullets at Kratos causing his opponents skin to get heavily burnt until he ran out of bullets, when the Slayer realized he released a big blast from his gun heavily damaging Kratos. While he was getting a new gun out Kratos would suddenly get out the blades of Olympus and use the time to get a free hit on his foe, this would stagger the Slayer and Kratos’ would unleash various attacks causing his foe to get launched in the air, Slayer would then get out his super shotgun and use the meat hook to stab Kratos and started approaching his foe getting a clear shot in Kratos’ face causing him to drop his blades, he would then shoot another grenade out of his shoulder attachment, but this time instead of exploding it would freeze Kratos’, after this the Slayer would use his flame belch on Kratos to get some free damage in, the frozen statue of his opponent then started shaking with the ice suddenly bursting, Slayer then tried shooting Kratos once again with his super shotgun until Kratos grabbed and bent the barrel of the weapon he then punched his foe once again and he landed to the ground, Kratos would then jump in the air and tried punching his foe once again, but then Slayer would get out his rocket launcher and locked on Kratos sending three rockets at his foe sending Kratos into the air he then used the broken super shotguns meat hook in order to get close to Kratos and punch him further into the sky, he would do this multiple times until they were about three hundred feet in the air, it was then that he would grab Kratos and tried to throw him to the ground, his foe would then grab his arm and throw the Slayer to the ground, he then took out his spear and threw it at his foe causing Slayer to slam into the ground with incredible force causing a massive crater into the ground, when Kratos finally landed on the ground he assumed the Slayer to be dead and started walking back to his home, it was then that he would hear a sound that sounded like a laser, he turned around and saw the Slayer standing there with the crucible blade, he would then get out the blade of Olympus as demonic portals started opening up with demons slowly coming out of them while the sky slowly turned red.
They started rushing at each other killing any demon that stood in there way, when they finally reached their targets they unleashed rapid blows with their swords, they kept slashing until Kratos got tired, which resulted in him retreating trying to regain his composure, the Slayer would then start running at Kratos cutting through every demon in his way, knowing he had nowhere to go he readied his blade, and started running towards Slayer they both jumped up and slashed, when they landed Kratos would look down seeing that he lost an arm, when Slayer saw an opening he got out various guns and started rapidly shooting and using grenades and fire, he then threw him into a nearby mountain and impaled Kratos into the mountain, where the Slayer finally finished the battle, he then turned around to continue his carnage.
K.O.
CONCLUSION[]
Boomstick: Wiz, I think I just found my new comfort character.
Wiz: Doom Slayer and Kratos were evenly matched in several ways, both had infinite strength and speed, so neither could rely on those alone.
Boomstick: So it all came down to who could land the killing blow first, and after many many hours of research we determined that it would be the Slayer, both have survived numerous normally fatal blows but Doom Slayer had the clear advantage in the durability department, Kratos could survive hits from Zeus and Hercules but Doom Slayer is able of surviving hits from the Icon of Sin, who was able to shake and alter reality solely by existing.
Wiz: His armor also served as a major roadblock for Kratos’ chances of winning, his armor is capable of surviving a laser that had a heat hotter than the sun, which is far more than anything Kratos has survived.
Boomstick: But Wiz wouldn’t their immortality make this a tie?
Wiz: It may seem like that at first, but the crucible was the key to Slayer’s win, the crucible was capable of defeating the Icon of Sin, who is said to be immortal and is unable to die by any means, but the crucible is capable of sealing it away, and there’s no reason to assume Kratos would be any different
Boomstick: Slayer also had far better stamina, Kratos may have gone 3 days without rest, but Slayer was able to go eons without rest, while fighting all of hell.
Wiz: Kratos may have been the God of War but Doom Slayer’s hax, and survivability was able to put an end to him.
Boomstick: Kratos tried, but no matter what he just couldn’t escape his DOOM.
Wiz: The winner is the Doom Slayer
COMPARISON[]
Doom Slayer
+Far more durable
+Crucible capable of killing Kratos
+Better Hax
+Far less likely to get tired
=Mostly equal in strength and speed
-Far less skilled in combat
Kratos
+More skilled in combat
=Mostly equal in strength and speed
-Far less durable
-Lacked a way to kill Doom Slayer
-Far more likely to get tired
Intro[]
Wiz: Kratos, The God of Hope
Boomstick: And The Doomslayer, the hell Walker.
Wiz: These two killing machines know only fury, but today we’ll see which god killer can top the other.
Boomstick: He’s Wiz and I’M Boomstick!
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyse their weapon armour and skills to figure out - who would win… a death battle.
Kratos[]
Wiz: In the far away lands of Jotunheim, you’ll stumble across a cabin home to a man unknown… but his past is not. A past of shame, of misery… of War.
Boomstick: One day - a Spartan general, and dime a dozen bastard child of Zeus, found himself on the back foot for the first time in his long history. And instead of an L, he made a bargain with Ares - The god of war. Handing big bro the controller, in exchange for his soul.
Wiz: In that moment, metal seared through his skin and wrapped around his bone. This was the first time that Kratos made his mark on mythology. From here, he raided war after war. Destroyed city after city. Killed man after man. All in the name of the God of War.
Boomstick: Then, in a moment of classic Greek god dickheaded-ness and classic stereotype of fucking humans over when they show the slightest provocation, Ares tricked his tool into murdering his own wife and child… yeah, that’s Zeus’s boy all right.
Wiz: Actually, and surprisingly considering the track records for the gods, Ares is far more relatively… kind? Sure, a bloodthirsty and angry warrior but he’s respectful to those who show him loyalty and values consent.
Boomstick: Seems like a bit of a low bar…
Wiz: Well, considering this is the son of Zeus we’re talking about - we could be doing worse then simple murder. Though, comparatively, the general couldn’t sink any lower.
Boomstick: Especially when, in a moment of iconic imagery and aura, Ares manipulated the ashes of their flesh to stain his skin. Forever dawning him “The ghost of Sparta.” No matter what he did to escape his past, he couldn’t run from what he had done. But neither could Ares.
Wiz: And so, armed with the very weapons that Ares cursed him with, Ares ripped through the Greece regions until Ares’s head rested in his hands. And then, when the gods turned on him and murdered him all while stripping him of his power-
Boomstick: He simply refused to die and fought his way out of hell. He ran all nine circles and drained them clean. He crushed Posideon’s head, tore Hade’s soul and you best believe he murdered the fuck out of Zeus.
Wiz: Yet, when all was said and done, all Kratos found… was that he was no longer with purpose. All that was left was the shame, the anguish of what he’d done, the blood of the innocents and the knowledge that his hatred of the gods could never fade… as one would always remain.
Boomstick: And the poor guy was fresh out of olives, too. He was trapped in a cycle of violence and power that no one could escape. Not the celestials, not the titans and not the Olympians. Kratos did the last thing he could think too that would matter. Kill himself-
Wiz: AND release the concept of Hope across the realms… then he got better. And wandered into solitude, alone and ashamed - finding himself in Jotunheim.
Boomstick: Basically woke up in the snow naked and with all his stuff gone. A shame too, he lost some pretty nice collectors items. Hades’s own personal soul snatcher, The wings ripped straight from Icarus’s back and even the blade of Olympus! A large sword capable of absorbing all the power of the god that’s stabbed into it. Could’ve been useful for when The Aesir started knocking. But boy… did they choose the wrong time. Because he had finally had something worth fighting for.
Wiz: Though Kratos saw himself as nothing but a horrid monster, Faye saw him as someone beyond his sins. Together, they found solace. And they soon found a s-
Boomstick: Boy!
Wiz:….
Boomstick:….
Wiz: A so-
Boomstick: BOY!
Wiz: His name was Atreus.
Boomstick: Man, all those circle mashing sessions with Aphrodite payed off. Good start, pal. Well, until… until his wife died but at least he didn’t do it. And the kids still kicking, so, an improvement from the last time. And hell, he’s even got a shiny new axe.
Wiz: The leviathan axe is a monster slaying, dragon killing, still takes a long while to cut down a tree-ing weapon that can even match the mightiest of opposing forces.
Boomstick: Even Thor shits thunder at the sight of this thing. It can even match the blade of Freyr, a weapon that can hold off the power of Ragnarok for a long while. And little buddy Atreus comes alongside his own packs of arrows.
Wiz: The sonic arrows can leave enemies in a stun and destroy obstacles in the way
- Wiz jams it down on the can stuck on Dummi’s head causing it to blow up*
Boomstick: About time you ditched that look.
Dummi: You simply lack the cortex to comprehend true fashion.
Wiz: There’s also the shock arrows that pack larger danger then the regular light arrows
- Wiz jams the arrow into Dummi’s head, causing electricity to envelope him as he squeaks in a comedic fashion*
Boomstick: Hehe, ah, I’m glad that’s not my role anymore
Unfortunately, Boomstick sticks his finger too close to the spherical robot and the electricity starts shocking him too, as he squeaks like a chipmunk.
Wiz: And can link to other nearby opponents.
- he finally yanks it out*
Boomstick: *Between breathes* Christ, man. WHY EVEN BUILD THE ROBOT!
Wiz shrugs
Wiz: Rebuidling the bot is cheaper then cloning you, in cases such as a this.
- Wiz jams the digit arrow into his forehead and causes him to detonate*
Boomstick:… What was that?
Wiz: One of Atreus’s sigil arrows.
Boomstick:… they let a CHILD carry those things?
Wiz: Well yeah, Atreus was an excellently trained and skilled warrior, that showed early signs of his father’s own battle prowess
Boomstick: and his early ego. The moment little buddy learned of his “superior ancestry” he started stabbing in necks and calling his mom worthless. Takes some serious balls, considering your family history.
Wiz: Well, history seemed to repeat itself. The universe was created by the primordials, before being overthrown by their children the titans. Then their son Kratos, killed all of them. It’s a continuous scale of power and war that seemed… written. Inevitable.
Boomstick: And yet, Kratos and Atreus broke the cycle, striving to be better for one another and letting eachother in. And when Atreus fell ill, Kratos once more embraced his past self. Taking up the golden swords given to him by Ares all those years ago. But not in the same way.
Wiz: While Kratos once took them up to savage through Greece and take his vengeance, he now took them up to help an innocent.
Boomstick: And would you look at that, Pee Paw’s still got that sauce. Able to tear through zombies and cavemen alike, but make not mistake - these same swords sliced through Olympians.
Wiz: Those same Olympians gifted him The Spartan Rage. By letting loose, he gets stronger and faster while even being able to heal all wounds. And that’s not even mentioning all his runic abilities. With them he can slow down time, travel dimensions and the draupnir spear.
Boomstick: It can shoot straight through you, create shockwaves and give you a buy one, get one free attack where all the other spears fall down and stab through the opponent from above. And even if you have a spear of your own, they’re basically powerless against Kratos’s mighty shield. Even Thor’s hammer can’t break through this bad boy. Oh shit. Thor!
Wiz: The villainous Aesir attacked. The unkillable Baldur, The manipulative Odin and the mighty Thor. And Ragnarok was upon them all, but not because it was fated. It was because it was right. Because Kratos and the rest of them chose that the world would be better. In Thor, he saw who he was. A tool of fate, destined to be a destructor.
Boomstick: So like that absolute badass he is, he told fate to get fucked as he kicked Aesir ass… righteously.
Wiz: He threw down with Thor, which is incredible given that the mad god could take on both Jorgunmandr and Sutur all at the same time - even smacking the snake boy back through time. A strike that could shake the tree of knowledge, Yggdrasil, which branches out through all of the creation and all of the individual realms.
Boomstick: And then he, Atreus and Freya hit Odin with the r3, square, square, square combo. Take that bald boy.
Wiz: But when all was said and done, Kratos’s greatest feat was ensuring that his boy could grow beyond his mistakes, and finding kinship with the others who had fallen from grace, and finding salvation.
Boomstick: He knows what he’s done, but he knows what he will do now. He’ll fight the good fight and show what a good god should do. He’ll be the shield that protects the future generations from the mistakes of those who’d misuse their power.
Wiz: After all his sins and pain, he’d become a god… of hope.
Thor: Don’t you know… what I’ve done!
Kratos: Yes…
- Kratos summons the axe to him*
…But what will you do now?
Doom Slayer[]
Wiz: Throughout eternity, one man stands alone. Without name, without past - one man held back the forces of hell and maintained peace. One lone marine was the sole survivor as a portal to hell allowed millions upon millions of demons to invade our world. One lone marine, was all that was needed to stop them.
Boomstick: He was the Doomguy, and he was glorious! Dropped head to toe in a beautiful green praetor suit, He was a one man army and a force to be reckoned with. A demon slaying, god killing force of nature.
Wiz: Don’t get lost in his reputation, The doomslayer is a… sweetheart in reality. He collects action figures, plays PC games and loves animals.
Boomstick: Animals including a god damn pet DRAGON! You can’t make this lame, Wiz. No matter how hard you try, nerd.
Wiz: Well, even gods start from humble origins. Once he was your standard marine, but when his commander told him to fire upon innocent Civillians, he beat his teeth in. Disgraced, but too valuable an asset to lose completely, The guy was shipped off to a facility on Mars.
Boomstick: Famous home place of demons, Like Elon Musk. And like Musk and American politics - the poor scientists were messing with things they just didn’t quite understand until demons started popping out and tearing through their vital organs.
Wiz: Every single person in that facility was killed… except for one. The Doomguy. Armed with The Praetor suit and the entirety of NASA’s weapons budget at his disposal, he-
Boomstick: RIPPED AND TEARED UNTIL IT WAS ALL DONE. God, what a badass.
Wiz: The glazing is insane
Boomstick: The only thing I’m insane about is my glorious king. I mean this guys awesome, he doesn’t even needs guns! He just uses them for the love of the game, and thy game is doom.
Wiz: That’s never been explicitly stated in any canon material-
Boomstick: Wah Wah Wah, it’s awesome, your not, shut up.
Wiz: Oh…
Boomstick: The Doomguy was awesome, for someone that’s market flesh and blood but that because he’s not flesh and blood… he’s flesh and bullets! Weapons are encoded into his dna and he’s got more then you can process before they enter your body. Shotguns, machine guns, rocket launchers and a super shotgun to make your already awesome shotgun, even more awesome. Seriously, this is like if Batman was a shotgun. With endless resolve, he slaughtered through the forces of hell and sent them all packing.
Wiz: That was until, they invaded Earth. They destroyed his hometown, murdered his family and killed his pet bunny. It was… a tragedy. It was-
Boomstick: The biggest mistake these demon filth could have made, because all it did was make him just the slightest bit angrier. And you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
Wiz: Well, that’s not entirely true. The Doomslayer might have the rage of a bull in a china shop, but he has the heart of a real hero. While the cruelness of his enemies brings hatred in to his heart, he’s doing it out of love for humanity. Which is why he chose to close off the bridge between Hell and earth. To forever protect humanity from the legions of hell.
Boomstick: Except he wasn’t trapped in there with them, they were trapped in there with him. He fought for nigh billions of years and never gave them an inch.
Wiz: It was there he got expert training with the night sentinels and even managed to kill a hell titan.
Boomstick: WITH HIS BARE HANDS GRAAAAAGH! He’s SO cool! So cool in fact, that after he saved their land - they let them hit their super magic machine that imbues your blood with divinity, turning him into a veritable god.
Wiz: It was here that the Kahn makyrs began fearing for their lives, and corrupted a few night sentinel priests too lead the Slayer into his entrapment. Where they dropped a temple on him like Willy coyote.
Boomstick: it’s Wil. E.
Wiz: what?
Boomstick: You said “Willy” like the chocolate factory. It’s Wil. E. Like… Albert E-
Wiz: Who do you think you are.
Boomstick: Huh?
Wiz: I worked thirty years to get in this field. What do you do?
Boomstick: I- I got a degree in-
Wiz: Chickens? That it, chicken boy? Gave out bird seed? I hid bodies. I hacked into the uk treasury when I was five. We are not the same, so watch your tone, insect.
Boomstick:… all this over WIl. E coy-
WIZ: ITS FUCKING WILLY, I… nevermind.
Boomstick: Okay, anyway. The slayer was kept in suspended animation for centuries thanks to Hell’s wacky time shenanigans. But as soon as he woke up, it was straight to mowing demon ass and petting bunny rabbits. And honey? They killed his bunny rabbit.
Wiz: And all that time locked up, just allowed him to get creative. His rocket launchers? They can now lock onto his opponents and detonate on arrival, his shotgun comes packaged with his own grappling hook/sword combination and the saw shield, a shield with blades all wrapped around them.
Boomstick: He’s so cool, he makes his defence - his offence. I love him. But not as much as I love the BFG. Can I tell them what it stands for, I want to tell them what it stands for, I’ve been DYING to tell them what it stands for. Can I tell them what it stands for?
Wiz: I don’t think I can stop you-
Boomstick: BIG. FUCKING. GUN. It tears through all in its wake, massacres all and blows them all to hell… SECOND HELL. It WILL kill you, it WILL kill me and IT… it will be glorious.
Wiz: Well, that’s not even his best weapon. Chained in tons of argen energy, here comes the sentinel hammer and Crucible.
Boomstick: A sword and sledgehammer made from devil energy, to the point it can destroy a country! I love it! And he doesn’t even need it to take down a titan, which can reach up to one THOUSAND feet tall!
Wiz: He can fight on par with Seraphim’s, which can fly so fast - they fly THROUGH infinity. The very definition of infinity makes it mathematically unreachable.
Boomstick: Yet, even THEY can’t escape the slayer’s strength. I mean he’s taking demons that can range from the power of 665 Megatons to the powers to create the infinite layers of hell.
Wiz: A monster whispered through the ashes of heaven. The dark lord, Davoth. In an intense battle against the devil himself, The slayer emerges victorious and Davoth asked him one thing. “Have you anything to say to your creator?”
Boomstick: And he told him no, and stabbed right through him. WHAT A BADAAAAAAASS! And after slaying him, all of hell was finally finished. Dispersing away, and freeing humanity from their pain and influence. And, with his job complete, he was frozen yet again - for the day the demons may return. Or Cthulhu, or Isabelle’s next teaparty. Who knows what Todd Howard’s going to throw at him next.
Wiz: A hero to the hopeless, the terror of the boogeyman. The hellwalker, the unchained predator, the doomslayer - all of these things and none. All that matters is that he will
Together: RIP. AND. TEAR!
Boomstick: Until it’s done. Hell yeah.
Davoth lies defeated as The slayer approaches him with his wristblade drawn.
Davoth: Have you… nothing to say… to your creator, before you… strike him down.
Doomslayer pauses
Slayer: No.
The Slayer stabs the dark lord in the heart.
Prelude[]
wiz: Alright the combatants are set, We’ve ran the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!
Fight![]
Kratos sits alone on a cold winter night, leviathan axe in hand as he contemplates what prophecy fortold. Mimir hanging on his belt.
“You alright, brother? Your awfully quiet - even more so then usual.”
“Hm.”
“Surely, you can’t be worrying about that wee old prophecy? Remember Ragnarok and the whole “dying in the boys arms” thing? Don’t seem to recall that coming to fruition! The prophecy doesn’t even state which one of ya will fall so you still got-“
“It should be me. The slayer is a hero to the realms who kills the demonic and unholy. I would… he has never been a monster. My life is not worth defending at the cost of his.”
Silence passes.
“I swear, brother. If you let him kill ya, I swear I’ll climb into Valhalla myslef and whoop you so-.”
He suddenly feels the heat on the back of his neck as a portal opens. He need not look back to see who it was. The doomslayer had climbed from hell. Mimir sighs. “He’s here.”
Kratos stands up and, slowly, approaches. No axe in sight. He does not want this fight.
“Return home. We need not do what fate demands of us. We can do what’s right.”
They had seen the same prophecy as one another. Kratos wished to avoid killing humanity’s champion but The Doomslayer wished vengeance for Greece. For all the souls lost.
He strikes, the force pushing him back. Kratos grunts as he’s pushed across the frost covered ground. He sighs as he sticks out his hand. “Very well.”
“Now is the time. Two titans meet - as it was written.”
Fight!
Kratos summons the axe, which he had planted behind the spot the doomslayer would appear from. The slayer dodges to the side, but Kratos catches the axe and slams down hard. The Slayer barely blocks the vicious attack with his arm blade. Slayer grits his teeth as he pulls out a shotgun and fires.
Bang!
The bullets bounce right off the Greek god as he strikes the doomslayer hard, but the Doomslayer refuses to move an inch as he swings down with his arm blade and cuts across before quickly stabbing Kratos in the gut.
He proceeds to try and punch Kratos only to find his hit blocked as Kratos strikes with mighty force, pushing the skaters blade out of his body, before summoning the axe back to his hand and slamming it upon the slayer, who meets it with his chainsaw. It holds for an impressive while against Kratos’s powerful strike…
But it eventually chops right through and scratches the praetorian armour. The doom guy’s eyes narrow as he stumbles back - to be met with another axe swing as he’s sent flying into a tree.
Kratos throws the axe again, but the doomslayer rips the entire tree out of the ground and bats it away before tossing the tree straight for Kratos.
His muscles strain as he manages to grab the tree, though it pushes him far, he holds his own well. However the Doomslayer leaps over it, Gauss Cannon in hand - landing a direct shot that sends him so hard into the floor, he bounces backwards. He’s thrown through the snowy ground, as he barely pushes himself up.
“Brother! are you alright brother?”
“I’m fine, head. Are you?”
“I’ve been through worse.”
But kratos barely had enough time to push himself up before Doomslayer had leaped up with the hellbreaker in hand.
He summons his shield, but it shatters under the massive hammer’s power, and smashing him into the snowy floor. Doomslayer goes for another smash, that kratos barley rolls away from - but the massive shockwaves throw him away.
Doomslayer closes that gap instantly and lands a hammer swing straight to his gut - sending him straight through the nearest mountain. Kratos pushes himself up - before several bullets litter against his skin from the machine gun, as the doomslayer walks through the mountains new hole.
Kratos roars in anger, as he throws a spear through the barrel of the gun and clogging its motion. A horde of spears appear in the air and slam down into the slayer, throwing him off temporarily.
Long enough to leave him open for Kratos to freeze him with the leviathan axe. Kratos leaps into the air, summoning the axe to his hand, both freeing and slamming it down upon the slayer.
The axe lodged deeply into his neck, the slayer simply punches Kratos away and tears it out. He charges with it in hand - but kratos summons it back to him and spins - slamming it into the charging slayer’s side and sending him flying .
Having been given some distance, The Doomslayer pulls out a rocket launcher and locks onto Kratos. The god of war weaves out of the way - but the rockets do not let up as they smash into him and combust, littering the god of war in fire and large puffs of smoke.
Through the smoke - the blades of chaos shoots out, as the slayer fires the hook attached to his shotgun. They both stab into each other and both tug, attempting to pull the other towards them entering a battle of tug and war. They’re muscles strain, but they’re weapons break faster then their bodies, as the the hook from the slayers gun completely shatters. Kratos pulls The Doomslayer hard and swings him in a circle, knocking down every tree that surrounds them - before tossing the Slayer high into the air.
But the Slayer had prepared for it.
His magnificent pet soared through the skies and caught him on her back, if barely. He pulls himself onto the seat, and grabs the turret with force. The dragon circles the god of hope, as the Slayer rains bullets down at him. He weaves, he reflects them with his shield, but sooner or later. A bullet or five stab through him.
Kratos falls to his knees. The slayer takes the advantage, slowing Sallat down so he can tear even more holes in Kratos’s flesh. But Kratos… was tactical. He unsheathes the blades of chaos and tosses them far through the air. They stab straight through her tail, causing her to lash out. She roars, he starts thrashing and Slayer devotes his time to soothing her… until he hears the noise of someone climbing up.
The slayer shakes his head, as he pushes himself from his seat.
DoomSlayer charges first, trying to sack Kratos off with his flail but the god of hope weaves as he tackles straight into his gut. Kratos stands on his knees, towering above the pinned down the bane of heel beneath him.
He throws punch after punch, sending shockwaves across the dragons back. The animal acts like one, and spins to throw the pain off, to be rid of Kratos. Slayer extends his sword, and stabs into his pet. To a small extent, he doesn’t want to hurt her - just not get thrown off.
Kratos falls through the air, doing flips and circles in the air, until he once again grabs the blades of chaos and throws it straight into the monsters side. The hellbeast screeches as she glides to the side of the mountain and slams hard into it. Kratos pulls hard and slams straight on to the dragons back once gain. He climbs to his feet, barely weaving the Slayer’s mace. He goes for a strike, but only finds the slayer’s saw shield, before being struck hard across the face with said Mace again. He stumbles back, which the Slayer takes advantage of - slamming his saw shield into his gut, at cutting into it rapidly, blood spewing all over it.
Kratos roars as he strikes him backwards. The Slayer reels back, slamming the saw shield into him again, but it’s met by Kratos’s own shield - sparks flying off the steel as they meet. Kratos steps too the side, allowing the slayer to stumble forwards, before kicking him in the side. He glides off the dragon, before grabbing onto its saddle for dear life.
Kratos runs up to the head of the dragon, leviathan axe in hand ready to strike… but he chooses to strike it hard instead. Hard enough that the dragon’s roars begin to slur as its consciousness fades. It descends rapidly, banging into mountainside after mountainside - Slayer getting crushed on one in particular. They crash hard into the winter snow, Slayer releasing his grip and slamming hard into the ground while Kratos is tossed far forward in front of him, gliding across the frost. He pushes himself up.
“Brother… you’re not gonna like where we are.”
Kratos flexes a brow before he notices. The training dummies. The cabin. They’re home. He needs to end this now. He once again unsheathed the blades of chaos, ready to slice into his opponent… until he notices.
The Doomslayer pushes himself up, but falls to one knee. He can’t fight back. Not in this condition… so perhaps….
Kratos strolls up, even sheathing his swords, once more. He attempts a chance for peace.
“Stand down. You do not want this fight.”
Before the doomslayer could offer the indication of a response - an arrow shot into the slayer’s shoulder, electricity surging his body as he winces in pain.
“Boy!”
Atreus leaps down and begins approaching, much to Kratos’s discretion - neither of the three noticing the purple orb appearing next to the Slayer “You said you trusted me!”
“This is not about trust, Atreus, I won’t allow you to die for this… senseless fight.”
“But you can? You’re willing to throw it all away, instead of just… letting me help!
“He’s dangerous, lad. We left you home for a reason.”
“Yeah, a bad one!0
“Atreus, you must-“
Their bickering is interrupted as the doomslayer stands to both feet. No weapons. Only fists… only fury. A blue powerup in his hand… he crushed it.
“Rip… and…
“Atreus NO!”
The boy transforms into a bear before their very eyes and goes to clamp down upon the Slayer. He responds by grabbing the monstrous beast and slamming it hard into the tree behind him and then tossing him at the God of war
TEAR!”
Kratos rushes in to try and help his son - but a strike straight to the stomach sent the god of war across the forest as Atreus again attempted to snap down upon the skull of his enemy, who smashes him in the face again.
And again.
And again.
He holds the bear by his throat and slams him into the ground. Hard. He does this again and again. He lifts it back up, as he reels back his arm to go straight through his skull.
But just before he could, most filled his view, and a boy laid in his grip. An innocent boy. The slayer’s eyes widened, his wrath had consumed him from processing any transformation that he had witnessed. His power up faded with his anger.:. But that unleashed a powerful shock from his suit that cratered through the snowy forests.
Kratos pushed himself up, disoriented from the mighty strike.
“Brother, are you-“
“ATREUS!”
The god of hope looked back and forth trying to locate his son, before the Doomslayer steps through the smoke his electricity spawned, as the bane of hell carried Atreus in both arms. Unconscious, hurt… but alive. He laid the boy upon a rock. Innocent. And turned to his father. Guilty.
Kratos closed his eyes, tried to swallow his rage.
“The hands of Death could not earn me…
Zeus…
The hands of Fate could not control me…
Odin!
and YOU will not see the end of this DAY! This… IS NOT MY END!”
Kratos unleashes the Spartan rage and the ground beneath him cracks, as he roars through the forest. Doomslayer’s eyes widen behind the mask, and before he can raise his arm to block, he’s sent smashing through trees from a single mighty blow.
He pushes himself up to one knee, only to be battered back to the ground by another mighty blow to the head. He rolls out of the way of the next strike, but as Kratos punches the ground - he’s launched high into the air from a shockwave. Just as fast as he was pushed into the air, he was struck across the snowy ground. Kratos has his power completely unrestricted but… predictable. His mind blinded with rage he attacks in patterns that the Slayer can see. As long as Kratos’s mighty blows do not strike anything around him, no shockwaves can be created. It’s with this knowledge in mind that allows the slayer to weave the next strike Kratos throw and leave him exposed. The scourge of hell pulled out the Crucible and extended its blade. He struck Kratos through his gut, skewering The God of War in a single mighty blow.
Kratos yells out in agony as his power immediately begins to drain, but as the Spartan rage is drained with it - the mind of a general returns. This next strike must matter. It must be precise. He reels it back, and with speeds fast enough to break the sound barrier - knocks the doomslayer free from his grip on the Crucible. Just as fast, he grabs the hilt and tugs. Tugs as hard as he can and slowly pulls the sword out of his body. But he must hurry. He turns to the sound of wiring machinery and the flaring of energy as The Slayer charges up the Big Fucking Gun. To withstand this power, he must be quick. In an effort to live, he rushes and pulls the blade clean from his body, scattering bits of blood and flesh across the floor. But it was too late. Kratos only had time tear Mimir from the buckle on his belt and use his body to shield his friend.
“Brother?”
Kratos could only roar as flame passed through his body, searing flesh and bone alike - causing bubbling in his blood.
“Brother!”
Eventually, the blast detonates into a mighty explosion with Kratos at the epicentre.
“BROTHER!”
Mimir’s voice fades out as the blast clears, smoke and crater being all that’s left.
Somehow, still on his knees, the god of hope heaves heavily from the extreme pain… yet he still survives.
“Brother? Brother! You’ve got to get a hold brother.”
Kratos is disoriented. Focused on his rage for his enemies, his concern for his friends and his own pain. But one thing broke through the shrouds.
“He’s behind you brother!”
In the corner of his eye, he sees the slayer prepared to strike through with his crucible yet again. It reminded him of a time when his father killed him. When his father held…
The blade of Olympus was summoned to his hand, blocking the strike of the Crucible
“I… told you. This will not be… MY END!”
Slayer leaps back, blocking another powerful strike from the god of war, being slowly pushed back by its force
“Your doom is at HAND! For that, you have my sympathy…
They both pull back before attacking with full force for their final confrontation…
but you do not have my MERCY!”
Both strike. The blade of Olympus and Crucible blocking eachother blow for blow as the two swing for the other.
Eventually, they reel their swords back and… Kratos dodges underneath. He skewers straight through the Doomslayer’s torso and exiting out the back. But the Slayer is close enough… that he manages to reel his crucible high into the sky and strike it down through the god’s head, before kicking him backwards with powerful force.
Kratos reels in pain, but pushes through, determined, as he tears the crucible from his skull.
The Doomslayer lets out a roar to shake heaven as he pulls the blade of Olympus from him with all his might.
The next stab will kill them.
One will fall.
They both charge at one another, and Kratos taps into his Spartan rage once again. He becomes mindless, lost to his rage unmatched. In that anger, In that wrath… his memory leaves him and the blade of Olympus fades.
The slayer stops his charge, gritting against the snowy floor as he stops. But the god of hope charges forward, the god of hope… for one more minute is gone. The god of war is here once again.
In the split second that Slayer has to react, he extends his arm blade to attempt to stalemate the Crucible. For one split second, it’s stable. But faster then the eye can track, his own sword cuts through the blade and arm like hot butter, and it smashes into the frost.
The Slayer stumbles back, his shoulder cannon unleashing flames to stall kratos as he pulls his assault rifle from his side, but kratos powers through and hacks the canon off, before stabbing straight through the Slayer’s gut and managing to pin him to the ground, sticking the Crucible through him and deep into the earth.
“Brother… brother you’ve won! We can still -“
A loud series of bangs stop Kratos’s ears from hearing him, though it would be hard regardless, as the rifles bullets were firing straight into his face.
Kratos brims with rage, and the crucible similarly matches as it pumps electricity into his foes body, causing him to rile in pain and agony.
“Brother… Brother wait! This isn’t who you want to be! You don’t have to-
But it’s too late. The body explodes into blood and bone.
The helmet, with the head stuck inside, rockets down to be met with the Crucible’s skewer - stabbing through the helmet, and the head.
“Oh… oh, brother…”
Kratos roars out through the forest, holding the crucible high in the sky alongside its new decoration, as memories of gods slain past rage through his mind. So many vile memories and regrets come to the forefront of his mind to the point he accidentally summons the blade of Olympus back to his free hand, all while continuing to pump out electricity through the skull of the slayer… until it explodes and litters the snowy grounds with blood and brain matter.
With his greatest opponent yet dead, his rage slowly subsides and his adrenaline is overridden, all the pain coming back to his body in one sudden rush. He falls to his knees, using the Blade as a crutch to stop him from sinking completely into the frosty ground.
Eventually, he finds the strength to push himself up and stagger over to Mimir. He reaches for his horn, missing the first swipe before grabbing him the second time and reattaching him to his belt before beginning to walk back to where Slayer placed Atreus.
“Brother… it was necessary. He wouldn’t have let you live. It was him or you.”
Kratos takes one last look at his murdered foe. At his latest stunning failure, as his father would’ve put it.
“It should have been him.”
Results[]
Boomstick: Christ! I’m sure he’s looking up at us right now and smiling.
Wiz: You mean down?
Boomstick: He’s the Doomslayer, Wiz. Our hell is HIS heaven.
Wiz considers for a moment before nodding along, agreeing.
Wiz: This was a pretty tough cookie. Especially considering that the best feats of power within their series’s are in records, not onscreen.
Boomstick: What’s weirder is Kratos is the one often held in scrutiny when the slayers feats are far more inconsistent with what’s stated on text. I mean looking at what actually happen - The Slayer is comparable to the Icon of Sin who can create storms worth several gigatons! But Kratos can kill The Furies who created entire fake universe’s with their own stars and what not!
Wiz: Of Course, this does include their lore. Making this a much harder fight to pick a pony. So let’s break this down, into four categories.
Boomstick: I mean as far as physical stats are concerned - they’re dead even.
Wiz: Both fought entities that created or threatened five dimensional spaces, and both can react to infinitely fast foes. When it comes to an all out brawl - neither really has an edge, making this a tie.
Boomstick: But what’s just as close is their incredible skill. Kratos is definitely the more tactical of the two, having been a Spartan general and overall intelligent man. But the slayer‘s got his fair share of experience from the night sentinels, and killing demons for a little over ONE BILLION YEARS! He’s the more experienced. And even then, that tactical mind didn’t get one over Thor, who holds a simple and similar tactic to the slayer of brute force anger.
Wiz: So this category, is The Slayer’s. But what’s more surprising, is the third and final category. Weapons and Versatility.
Boomstick: Both have similar bags of tricks through their abilities. Both can slow down time, have solid regeneration and can match destructive power blow for blow. However, one big advantage is how wide a range of stuff Kratos has. All his weapons are far more unique and special to one another, while Slayer’s has a bunch of guns. Absolutely gorgeous, godlike guns… but just guns.
Wiz: Kratos would have a far more easy time getting used to what Doomie throws at him, in comparison to the Slayer who Kratos could catch off guard far easier, using that tactical mind for good use.
Boomstick: But even with a superior range of weapons, surley Kratos’s are still better? They’re stronger, while keeping a good distance. Kratos has ranged options, but surley not enough to compete? Right?
Wiz: Well, there’s a catch. The Slayer’s Arsenal is limited to his ammo. 600 pieces of ammo across different weapons while Kratos’s best stuff is built in and not going anywhere.
Boomstick: Even the Mighty Crucible needs charges to work, and after three swings - it’s out of commission. Compare that to the Blade of Olympus.
Wiz: Both of these Weapons are vital to these characters, and essential win cons. If they could land the hit they need, it would give them the stat advantage they need (Kratos would lose his godly power and Slayer would lose the divinity machine and what it gave him.)
Boomstick: However, John Doomguy only had three chances to land the killing blow - while Kratos’s had no such limit. And don’t get it twisted, The Slayer was three times the man most are throughout their entire lives back when he was just a guy… but he can’t compete with Kratos without the amps given him by the Divinity Machine.
Wiz: The Doomslayer gave the god of hope the challenge of his life but his more versatile options, less limited arsenal and more tactical mind let him walk away the victor.
Boomstick: The Slayer got a-head of himself, and I’m getting the feeling he won’t be okra-tos.
Wiz: The winner is Kratos