Punchy punchy
Intro[]
Wiz: Every world needs a hero. A hero who is courageous. A hero who is versatile. A hero who can accomplish any task put in front of them.
Boomstick: And every hero needs an ally who can just punch the crap out of everything as a sweet assist.
Wiz: Like Knuckle Joe, Monster Hunter and friend to Kirby.
Boomstick: And Knuckles, Emerald Guardian and friend to Sonic. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills, in order to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Knuckle Joe[]
Wiz: The planet Pop Star has spent years in the shadow of threat. War between the sun and moon, dark beings hidden in sealed chests, mirror worlds which threaten the balance of order, and the vast army of a nefarious king present a serious, and diverse, challenge to its otherwise peaceful inhabitants. Its hero, the Star Warrior Kirby, is thankfully able to utilize the help of both his enemies and friends in order to acquire a vast set of powers he can use to dispel these evils.
Boomstick: Kirby’s been kicking ass for decades, but like any series of power ups, some are more iconic and useful than others.
Wiz: True story. One of Kirby’s most well-known Copy Abilities is far superior to the likes of the Bubble, Broom, Sleep, or Stone forms.
Boomstick: Shut up, I beat the True Arena with that last one!
Wiz: It is Fighter Kirby. With this ability, Kirby’s martial arts skill increases to its maximum potential. He can punch at supersonic speeds, execute grapples, and even manifest his ki energy into blast attacks.
Boomstick: But where can Kirby get such an ability? Whether for instant use or storage for later, the Fighter Ability must come from somewhere, or someone. Someone who possesses such skill and finesse. And the answer often comes in the form of Kirby’s friend and rival, Knuckle Joe.
Wiz: The term Knuckle Joe can refer to both a species and an individual, given how multiple Knuckle Joes can appear in Kirby games. However, whenever Kirby is a pinch or in need of a challenge, one seems to stand above all others. This Knuckle Joe harboured a rage against Kirby when he came down to Earth from the cosmos, mistakenly believing the hero to be the slayer of his father, a powerful Star Warrior. Nightmare Enterprises and King Dedede capitalized on this hatred and set him off to Cappy Town in search of Kirby, where his rampage destroyed several establishments and terrorized the citizens. When he finally found Kirby, he was... surprised at his enemy’s appearance, but a fight began regardless.
Boomstick: I’m not sure if you can say fight since it was so one-sided. Kirby had no idea what the hell was going on, and thus didn’t raise a fist to defend himself until Meta Knight showed up for some much-needed words of wisdom: that he was the one who killed dear daddy all along. Joe didn’t take the backstory too well. Kind of like modern feminism, when presented with the facts, he discarded them and instead started hating the person he was trying to defend.
Wiz: In order to show Joe his own rage, Meta Knight had him fight Kirby again, so his anger would be mirrored right back at him. It was here when Kirby first obtained the Fighter ability and fought Joe on even ground, eventually managing to pull off the win. From then on, Joe understood the truth, and became a friendly rival to Kirby. Although he has since appeared occasionally as an enemy, after Kirby beats some sense into him, Joe can tag along as a helper in his adventures.
Boomstick: And boy, does this sidekick pack a helpful punch. Or rather, a lot of helpful punches. Joe’s signature technique is the Vulcan Jab, a supersonic punch that he can throw fast enough to leave afterimages of his fist. Each punch also has the ranged benefit of releasing a burst of energy, and though each strike is weaker on its own, a barrage of these attacks can bring down any foe in short time. Should Joe need more oomph, he can upgrade to the Smash Punch, sacrificing the rapid fire for a more powerful attack.
Wiz: The Smash Punch can be amped up even further into the Force Blast, which itself has three forms: Regular, Mega, and Giga.
Boomstick: And just think of what Giga can do since a regular Smash Punch can shatter stone spires, decimate cliffsides, and dent the armour of Nightmare Enterprises’ top tank. THIS ISN’T EVEN MY FINAL PUNCH , PLEBS!
Wiz: Joe also has footwork in his arsenal as well, striking with quick kicks that are also capable of firing energy blasts. These include the Leg Sweep, Moon Somersault Kick, and Spin Kick, all of which leave Joe invulnerable while being executed. He is also invulnerable during the Rising Break, one of his most powerful attacks.
Boomstick: Look’s familiar. Are you... sure he can, do that without any legal problems? But to top it all off, Joe knows Judo, and can grapple small or stunned opponents around like they were nothing but rag dolls.
Wiz: Of course, none of this martial arts mastery would be useful if Joe didn’t have the strength to back it up. As a matter of fact, Joe’s physical strength is incredible, since no less would be fitting for a rival of the Pink Terror. Hell, his Smash Punch is often stated to be a One-Hit KO attack. Joe is strong enough to throw King Dedede’s tanks, knock over a robot capable of walking through walls, and bar a door shut from Star Warrior Meta Knight. Keep in mind, Meta Knight within the same canon was able to hold up a stone statue the size of a small tower. This strength, when applied to his punches, can knock people through walls so quickly that they do not leave cracks around the broken area, even when shot through sheet glass.
Boomstick: He was able to defeat Kirby in three moves, less a matter of skill and more a matter of power. You see, Kirby’s pretty freaking spongy, and cuddly, and cute, and adorable, and the noise he makes when he’s scarfing down food is...
Wiz: Boomstick!
Boomstick: Well, Kirby’s soft. And Joe was able to punch him so hard he dented rock without absorbing the impact... twice! If that wasn’t enough, Joe possessed a sacred amulet given to him by his father, which contained a special microchip allowing the user to increase their power a hundred times over. Joe absorbed this power and was capable of matching blasts that left craters in the Earth, while incinerating nearby mountains as a side effect.
Wiz: Environmental damage may as well be a superpower of Joe’s rather than a side effect. He can shatter boulders, crack the planet, and apparently blow up the inside of a bar by gripping the counter too hard. Not even Boomstick can do that.
Boomstick: I came close. Gripped a pair of knockers too hard and the resulting bar fight caused nearly half a mill in property damage.
Wiz: Joe is far from the disciplined warrior he needs to be. He is prone to anger and ferocity in his attacks, and while he may not fight dirty, he certainly isn’t above underhanded strategizing, like the time he joined Nightmare Enterprises as a double agent. His ego knows very few limits, and when pushed to the brink, his anger can bring out a second, monstrous form. While this form was short-lived, we can gauge some of its power, since Joe seems to be an exception to the Kirby standard of having stronger abilities than the foes he’s inhaled. Rather, the two are equal.
Boomstick: And Needle Kirby can shoot those things out of his back rapid fire, even controlling them after launch like guided missiles. The spiky shield also makes a great, nigh-impenetrable defense, and can help the user cling to walls.
Wiz: Joe also possesses yet another form, which grants him abilities more in the astral category. In this form, Joe can fly, survive in the vacuum of space, and enter into cyberspace itself. Unlike the Spiked form, Joe can enter this one at his own accord, regardless of power or mood.
Boomstick: That may explain the time my Norton Antivirus tried to delete something and got literally punched into the recycle bin. Yes, literally. Don’t ask.
Wiz: In his adventures, Joe has fought with Kirby against some of the mightiest foes Pop Star has ever seen, including Heavy Lobster, Dyna Blade, Nightmare, and Meta Knight himself. Joe on his own can outmaneuver Meta Knight, a very impressive ability. Several friends of Kirby tried to make the leap from Helper to Hero and strike out on their own, with Joe amongst them. In this adventure, Joe fought and defeated Wham Bam Jewel, a giant with fists made of solid diamond. Jewel can drop diamond balls approximately Joe’s height, clocking them in at over 15 kilograms, and yet Joe can destroy them in one hit.
Boomstick: Though it’s not all fun and games for him. For how much punch-ishment he can dish out, he sure can’t take much back. It... really doesn’t take much offense to put him down. And yeah, you have to be able to stand up to him and catch him to attack him in the first place, but this isn’t really a failsafe. Joe’s fast, but can’t run for long without beginning to pant, and his flight can only last for a bit until he can merely hop in place in the air. Even in his monster form he was still one-shot by a shoulder charge that left no collateral damage. He’s also dumb enough to think he has a nose.
Wiz: Several of Joe’s key victories were done with Kirby’s help in one way or another. However, he’s more than capable of holding his own in a fight, many a mook have fallen to his fists. Though his goals always seem to change, his full strength is never tarnished by the punishment he’s taken. And thus, you can expect him to fight until to the very end.
Boomstick: Whether it’s for his father... or, because Kirby told him to.
Meta Knight: Hunting down monsters throughout the universe. Joe, your father would be proud.
Joe rubs his “nose.”
Joe: Kirby? Any time you need a teammate, just give me a call. I’ll be there in a Flash. See ya!
Joe flies off.
Knuckles[]
Wiz: Strength, speed, and smarts. These are the defining characteristics of any great trio, being able to cover each other’s weaknesses and combine talents in order to become an unstoppable team. One such legendary team is Team Heroes, the team of red, blue and yellow who are guaranteed to save the day, and the world. It contains Sonic the Hedgehog, who is fast enough to run on water, and Tails the Fox, who is smart enough to build a TV out of paperclips.
Boomstick: But the third member... wasn’t always their best friend. In a tail of suspense and horror, adventure and action, deception and lies, the first time they met, Sonic and Tails were nearly killed by the one they call Knuckles the Echidna. Who is strong enough to have spikes on his knuckles for biology reasons. Last time I bought an Echidna for a pet, it had spike-like objects in a whole different place.
Wiz: Knuckles made his living protecting the Master Emerald, a massive jewel bound to the legendary Chaos Emeralds, on Angel Island. This was a rather uneventful role, given how Angel Island was perpetually floating in the sky, but it was a duty passed down to Knuckles from his forefathers, who ripped the island into the sky through their misdeeds and vowed for their line to protect the Emerald as penance. However, one day, a visitor came not from below, but from above, crash-landing on the island. Needing this jewel for his escape, Doctor Robotnic...
Boomstick: EGGMAN!
Wiz: ...stormed the island and managed to convince Knuckles that Sonic and Tails were on their way to steal it. Knuckles fell for the trick and ambushed Sonic, fighting him until the story was set straight. Robotnic...
Boomstick: EGGMAN!
Wiz: ...was defeated, the Master Emerald was restored, and a bond of friendship was formed, along with a tight rivalry.
Boomstick: From then on, when he wasn’t guarding the Master Emerald or hunting down people who bypassed his guard and stole the Master Emerald, Knuckles spent his free time with Sonic and Tails, as well as the rest of the cast of diverse critters Knuckles’ popularity ushered in. It should be obvious that you’d need to really pack a punch if you want to hang around a crowd like that. And Knuckles fits the bill perfectly. Well, more like punches the bill.
Wiz: Knuckles’ primary attribute is his strength, which has always been designed to stack up against the speed of his rival Sonic. Sonic can run anywhere from Mach 1 to Mach 5 on average, and Knuckles can bench anywhere from 100 to 500 tons to match. To put this in perspective, the world record for equipped bench pressing is half a ton, which makes Knuckles at least one thousand times stronger than a regular human... in his base form.
Boomstick: Yeah, ever since their introduction, the Sonic Cast has been taking their individual attributes up to eleven, and Knuckles is no different. His strength has increased to insane levels, such that his usual feats of punching through boulders and metal like they were Styrofoam now seem like level one material. This ridiculous red Echidna now has the power to straight-up terraform when he gets serious, and he’s got plenty of ways to do it.
Wiz: Knuckles is capable of punching the ground so hard, he can disturb the magma chambers in the Earth’s crust, requiring a force of nearly four megatons. That’s not everything Knuckles can do with Earth and Fire, as through either limited kinesis or absurd side-effects of strength, Knuckles has shown manipulative abilities with these two elements. He can call down flaming meteors, fire bolts of lightning, and ignite the hydrogen in the air around his fists, similar to the side-effects of atmospheric re-entry.
Boomstick: Knuckles can use the Knuckle Slam or Hammer Punch to create explosions around him, damaging foes from a distance, but because nothing beats beating up close, his fire boxing is what he’s most well-known for. Knuckles is a trained warrior, proficient in Martial Arts... including Ansatsuken, apparently, as he possesses a Shoryuken rip-off complete with a little fiery flare. Now, don’t worry, there’s room on every team for more than one hotshot. He may be a little cocky, but anybody who can throw their allies at people so fast they burst into flames is a team player in my books. This attack even has a dope-ass name: The Fire Dunk.
Wiz: Force comes from acceleration, and Knuckles is no slouch in speed despite his inferiority to Sonic and Shadow in this department. He is capable of dodging the shots of Machine Guns, opening holes in the ground, and intercepting Super Sonic in battle. He can tunnel through dirt as if it was hot butter to dole out damage. Unlike Sonic, the Echidna is capable of swimming and diving without any adverse effects, and in addition to the Earth and sea, Knuckles is also a master of the air. And space. Some how, through violation of everything biological, he is capable of flight, and breathing in the vacuum of space.
Boomstick: By trapping air underneath his culturally appropriated dreads. No, seriously, any white dude with dreads is bound to get high in one way or another. Hell, like any hippie stoner with that kind of hair, Knuckles can call upon the natural power of the Earth to heal his wounds! Science!
Wiz: Knuckles packs a variety of equipment in battle, from his digging claws which allow him to tunnel through bedrock and metal, to his Extreme Gear. This racing equipment is incredibly difficult to master, yet Knuckles has it down pat to the point where he can duel enemies while riding it at top speed, and defeat the legendary Storm in a race.
Boomstick: He’s also proficient in the use of Hyper-go-on, allowing him to transform into different objects for a limited time. Most notable are the Indigo Asteroid, which transforms him into a very miniature planet complete with gravitational field, and the Cyan Laser, which allows him to travel at the speed of light.
Wiz: True to a fault. Laser stands for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation, and thus, real-world lasers by definition are light. Thus traveling at the speed of light. Fictional lasers, however, often do not necessarily travel at light speed. But, even though Knuckles can possibly obtain such speed in that form, the form is unsuitable for combat, and only lasts an extremely brief period of time, thus making it more useful for bypassing obstacles than fighting.
Boomstick: Doesn’t mean it’s not cool. At least its nothing redundant like a drill or a go-kart. Knuckles can also presumably use other Color Powers that Sonic can, which adds plenty more where that came from. Tiny black holes and spikes come to mind.
Wiz: Unfortunately, Knuckles is a fucking idiot. Now, we can say that because maybe a character screwed up once, or they don’t always choose a logical solution to a problem, but no, Knuckles is dumb as a rock. He has trouble choosing left from right, zones out very frequently, has trouble with large words, and time and time again, he has been manipulated by Doctor Robotnic...
Boomstick: EGGMAN!
Wiz: ...into thinking that Sonic’s the bad guy. This, his precious Master Emerald, sole purpose and duty of his life, has been stolen more times than he can probably count. To make up for this, Knuckles is an expert at tracking down the Master Emerald, and the Chaos Emeralds it nullifies, thanks to his treasure-tracking skills.
Boomstick: Toad, Fi, eat your hearts out! He can even give Master Thief Rouge a run for her money when both set their eyes on the same sight. And even though he is illiterate, he can translate ancient cultural texts, so he's not dumb, just way out of time. Okay, he's both.
Wiz: The Master Emerald is even more powerful than the Chaos Emeralds, being capable of bestowing ultimate power through recitation of a prayer known only to the Echidna race. Knuckles can use the gem’s latent chaos energy to increase his own power into Super Knuckles, vastly increasing his power and speed as well as making him invulnerable. This is the same power Sonic uses to bypass the speed of light and defeat entities capable of destroying worlds.
Boomstick: But c’mon, one super form is never enough. I looked through a thesaurus, and sure enough, Hyper can be a substitute for Super, so Hyper Knuckles being the strongest form he packs makes a lot of sense. It’s just like Super Knuckles, but stronger! Although, Hyper requires Super Emeralds to obtain, and Super requires Chaos Emeralds to obtain... does Knuckles have a Chaos Form?
Wiz: It’s likely the default setting of his brain.
Boomstick: Ouch.
Wiz: These forms aren’t as easy to activate as Knuckles would like, as he requires both seven gems as well as an ample amount of rings in order to hold on to the power they grant. Even though Knuckles can track down Emeralds, they’re still really rare and elusive, and running away from a battle to gain this form isn’t really something Knuckles considers given how his combat strategy usually relies on different ways of arrogantly punching and blowing things up. Plus, the powers of the forms vary, making them an inconsistent buff.
Boomstick: He's matched and trumped Sonic in combat, dealt more damage than the kicks of Rouge the bat, and ran so fast he created a crater in the ground.
Wiz: He can ride on top of missiles, survive bombing assassination attempts, and even returned the moon to its proper orbit by diving out into space and punching its receiver to kingdom come. Even though to say he moved the moon is ridiculous, the impact he created was visible from Earth, well over 300 thousand Kilometers away.
Boomstick: God help you if Knuckles sets his fists on you... unless you can dupe him into setting his fists on some other poor bastard instead. You can spout out all the weaknesses you want, but isn’t the fact that Knuckles is a Rival to fucking Sonic the Hedgehog a statement to his prowess on its own? Damn right it is.
Soldier: There’s not much time to get out!
Rouge: We’re still locked in!
Knuckles: Don’t worry, I’ll punch us out!
Knuckles continues his assault on the reinforced door, finally managing to punch through.
Interlude[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
Death Battle![]
On a bright sunny day in Green Greens, Star Warrior Kirby is running along on an adventure. He hops, slides, and floats over cliffs, before a Knuckle Joe appears out of a bush to attack him. No worries, Kirby simply inhales Joe and becomes Fighter Kirby. However, not wanting to be Fighter Kirby, the Pink Terror merely respawns Joe as a helper, and continues on his way. Fighting off a few enemies, the duo eventually comes across a red echidna. Kirby is curious, and wonders what form he will get from inhaling him, so he opens his mouth and begins to suck in.
(Silence)
Knuckles instantly runs away, and in a red dash, appears behind Kirby, punching him over the horizon with a twinkle in the sky. Knuckles begins to laugh, but Knuckle Joe punches him from behind, angering him even further.
The Echidna rolls away, and Knuckle Joe performs a few quick jabs as a taunt. Knuckles punches his own fist to retort, and each assumes a fighting stance.
(Fight, 0:10-0:33)
Both Knuckle Joe and Knuckles run at each other and engage in fisticuffs to start the match. The boxing is fast-paced, intense, and equal as fist meets fist; neither side can gain an advantage until Knuckles dashsteps, retreating then quickly advancing again. Pressing his advantage, he forces Knuckle Joe back while the latter is forced to block the punches without getting his own in; soon after, however, an opening arises and Joe gains the offensive. Knuckles blocks every strike with an arm guard as Joe pushes him backwards, until he rolls and does a Spin-dash to retreat. Joe follows him with a quick Leg Sweep, landing the first clear hit of the match, and knocks Knuckles into the air with a quick Rising Break. With a quick jump, Joe does a somersault kick in the air to send Knuckles back down to earth, and punches him rapidly with dozens of Vulcan jabs.
Knuckles breaks free of the abuse with another Spin-dash to knock Joe off his feet, and runs up to him, hitting him square in the head a few times before sending him upwards with a Flame Uppercut. Knuckles combos this into three more uppercuts before grabbing Joe out of the air and throwing him into a nearby hillside so fast, Joe catches on fire before he makes impact. Joe sits up amongst the rubble and spots Knuckles running at him, and sticks his head to the side just in time to dodge the Echidna’s punch, which cracks the hill. Knuckles continues to punch, but Joe dodges them all with a few jumps and retreats before throwing several Vulcan Jab attacks at Knuckles from range.
(Fight, 0:10-0:33)
Knuckles destroys them all with some shockwaves of his own before Joe switches to the Smash Punch, which breaks through Knuckles’ attack and hits him, sending him rolling back.
Knuckles recovers and punches the ground, creating a tremor that wobbles Joe slightly off balance; he then suffers a sucker-punch from the Echidna as he shoots out of the ground next to him, having tunneled over to Joe’s location. Grabbing Joe by the head, Knuckles rams him back into the hill and begins to punch him furiously, so fast and hard that he begins to tunnel into the hill behind him. He continues to beat Joe through the hill until they resurface on the top of a cliff, where Knuckles tries to punch again, only for Joe to catch his fist and stop the attack cold.
Knuckles is surprised, before he is socked in the face by Joe, who unleashes a devastating combo of punches and kicks of his own. After a Leg Sweep sends Knuckles crashing through a tree, snapping it in half, Knuckles punches with all his might, sending hundreds of Vulcan Jab blasts at the Echidna. Knuckles gets up and runs towards Joe, dodging each and every blast, until right before he reaches the young Warrior. In slow-motion, Joe dodges Knuckles’ attack, and prepares his own. A powerful Rising Break uppercuts Knuckles into the atmosphere, and Joe shoots a Giga Smash Punch wave after him, where it connects and creates a large explosion in the air.
Joe turns around to leave, but a light blue glint in the air behind him attracts his attention. He turns around just in time to see Knuckles return to Earth in the form of a laser, spawning on the ground and running up to Joe to punch him in the head. Joe recovers and leaps into the air over Knuckles, but suddenly feels his momentum stop, and he gets pulled down towards Knuckles, who has now taken the form of a small planet. When his gravity sucks in Joe close enough, Knuckles attacks with his Spiral Upper, punching Joe into the air further before Knuckles tracks him with a Homing Attack and slams him into the ground, drilling into his body.
Suddenly, Joe becomes engulfed in a burst of dark energy, throwing Knuckles off of him, and emerges as a spiked monster. The two eye each other and begin to roll in place before launching at each other as high-velocity spikeballs; they hit and clash for a few seconds before Joe glows white, and Knuckles retreats. Joe stops spinning, and his glowing spikes shoot out of his back towards Knuckles, who stands his ground and punches his fists together. As they approach him, the Echidna leaps into the air and raises both fists before smashing down into the ground, destroying the spikes in a fiery shockwave and knocking Joe off balance. Knuckles rushes him and smites him in the face with a punch so hard, it knocks him out of his monster form and into a rock nearby.
Joe gets back up on his feet despite his injuries, to Knuckles’ surprise. Looking around, he spots a volcano in the distance, and sees a red glint come from it; a Chaos emerald. Looking to use it, Knuckles runs and jumps off the cliff to get a flying start, gliding on his dreads towards the Volcano. After a few seconds of flight, he glances behind him, and to his shock, sees Joe flying after him, now bathed in a shining light.
Joe flies up to Knuckles, catching him mid flight, and punches him, knocking him out of the air. Knuckles pulls off a shuttle loop in an attempt to recover, but Joe flies down and hits him in the chest with a kick, driving him down into the side of the mountain. Knuckles gets up dazed, with a few Rouges flying around his head, before he shakes it off and gets up. Walking around, Joe is nowhere to be seen, so Knuckles prepares his guard; soon enough, Knuckle Joe makes himself known, charging towards the Echidna with no concern for strategy. Knuckles spots the attack and turns around, and each hits the other with a flaming punch of equal force. The attacks continue as each punches faster and faster, until Joe outpaces Knuckles’ attacks and begins to stagger him with his blows. A Moon Kick pushes Knuckles away, and Joe runs after him; Knuckles spins and stands back on his feet, and both hit each other with their signature uppercuts at the same time.
Knuckles is sent further than Joe, and does not have time to recover before the young Warrior is on his ass again with a few punches to get him back on his feet. Now strong enough to hold up a guard, Knuckles withstands Knuckle Joe’s onslaught of attacks, but is soon brought to his knees because of the effort he puts into his resistance. Seeing an opening, Joe’s arm glows a bright white, and he hits Knuckles with a rising break so hard, he flies up the mountain fast enough to break the sound barrier, carving a line into it. Joe then puts his hands together and forms a beam of light between his palms, and charges it up. When it reaches its full power, he throws it, creating a giant laser that strikes the volcano and begins to reduce it to dust.
However, amongst all the bright white light, a small red light goes off, then a slightly larger golden light stands out amongst the blast.
Knuckles, now in his Super Form, charges out of the crumbling volcano and flies towards Joe, destroying the laser as he flies through it by dissipating it in a cone. Knuckle Joe activates his own Super Form and flies out to meet Knuckles, where they punch each other and create a shockwave visible from space. The two fly around the sky and strike each other so fast all that can be seen are white and gold fireworks. Eventually, Knuckles flies backwards and spots Joe building up momentum as he charges towards him. Joe moves as fast as he can, but just before he can deliver the attack, Knuckles uppercuts him so hard he knocks him out of his Super Form. While Joe is still in the air, Knuckles dives into the ground and flies back out another area, striking Joe before returning into the ground. Joe continues to fall while being struck, as Knuckles moves fast enough to leave a series of golden arches on the ground, which fade away as Joe collapses. Slowly he stands up, and Knuckles hops out of the ground, shedding his Super Form.
Knuckles begins to circle a dazed Joe, running around him so fast a red circle surrounds him, with flashes of light periodically breaking out of it to strike him. After ten such attacks, the ground around Knuckle Joe begins to crumble and fall away, and the helper falls into the abyss created by the echidna. As he tumbles into darkness, Knuckles stops running, and winds up his fist before punching the ground with all his might. The earth shakes, and in a second, a geyser of lava shoots out from the hole, setting off fireworks in the sky.
(Reach For the Stars, 0:25-0:29)
Knuckles then stands triumphantly as burning ash and rock falls around him.
A shooting star flies out of the new pool of magma.
Knuckles walks off, before his stomach growls, and he takes to the skies.
Results[]
Boomstick: Sidekick just got sidepunched!
Wiz: Indeed. In one of the closest Death Battles MP has ever written...
Boomstick: Who the heck is MP?
Wiz: ... I honestly don’t know. Well, in this match, Knuckle Joe and Knuckles were both very similar and very different in everything from history to arsenal, which made the pieces very hard to fit together to find a complete solution. Both possess legendary fighting skill and similar techniques, so overall statistics had to be examined closely, which is where a few critical advantages ultimately fell into the favour of the Echidna.
Boomstick: When it comes to raw strength, Knuckle Joe takes the title. When you both punch the planet and one reaches a magma chamber, and the other one causes a large crack visible from space, it doesn’t take much brainpower to figure out who would hit harder if their strongest punches connected. And while Knuckles has survived some pretty impressive stuff, an attack like that, or a beam that reduced mountains to dust as an afterthought, would not bode well for him outside of his invulnerable forms.
Wiz: Knuckle Joe also strikes faster than Knuckles, at supersonic speeds. Yes, Knuckles appears to punch at speeds comparable to atmospheric re-entry, but, as we just established, Joe hits with more force. An object’s force is dependent on its acceleration and its mass, so if Knuckles’ punches were faster at 25 000 miles per hour, the discrepancy would mean Knuckle Joe’s arms were in the magnitude of thousands of times bulkier than his.
Boomstick: And just look at the little tyke. No way that’s the case.
Wiz: The resulting fire around Knuckles’ attacks is more likely a result of his pyrokinesis, and not science. However, even with these two factors against him, Knuckles had plenty to take on and defeat Joe, including speed. Yes, the Sonic character known for being stronger but not as fast, was outmatched in strength and relied on his speed to win.
Boomstick: And we don’t mean running speed, because Knuckles hardly utilizes that. We mean reaction speed. Joe may be able to slug at supersonic speeds, but Knuckles has dodged close-range machine gun fire without breaking a sweat. Machine Guns just so happen to have minimum muzzle velocities of three times the speed of sound.
Wiz: So, even if a good hit from Joe could end Knuckles, he’d be very hard-pressed to land such an attack, especially since his faster attacks lack power... even though force is mass times acceleration and higher speeds should mean more... fuck you, game science!
Boomstick: Let’s not forget that Joe doesn’t list durability on his own resume either. He can’t run as fast as Knuckles, or for very long, and tires rather easily. He was also one-shot by an attack that left no damage to the surrounding area, and falls extremely quickly in boss battles by rushing in with no regard for defense.
Wiz: When set up as such, in a scenario where the first good hit wins, the victory goes to the Echidna who can react so quickly that he was able to intercept Sonic while he was in his Super form, and knock him out of it. Plus, with his laser, drill, and asteroid forms, Knuckles had enough Colour control to seal a solid mobility advantage, complimenting his speed.
Boomstick: While Joe has never defeated Kirby or used similar powerups. Kirby vs Sonic is a match for a different debate, but Joe has always relied on Kirby for help taking on powerful monsters such as giant robots, while Knuckles can strike out on his own and take down powerful monsters solo... such as giant robots. Without his Super Form.
Wiz: Yes, if the matchup was this close when not considering Knuckles’ Super or Hyper forms, then the inclusion of them makes it a solid contest. And while they are rare enough for them not to be considered an effective advantage, the fact remains that Knuckles has used them before, and they aren’t completely out of his arsenal. Joe's own alternate forms don't even come close to countering the power of the Master Emeralds.
Boomstick: For supposed sidekicks, this was one heated battle. Don’t we all lava good fistfight?
Wiz: The winner is Knuckles the Echidna.
