Description[]
First off, happy Spooky Month
A lot of very strong characters in media eat a lot, but only a few actually get a power buff from eating. These two are some of the very few characters who gets a lot stronger when eating. Both of them get to the point where they stop omnipotent beings. Kirby having killed multiple gods, and Popeye denying THE God of dying.
Interlude[]
Boomstick: People who love to eat.. I found my people
Wiz: Though these people eat a lot more
Boomstick: Like Kirby, the pink puff ball of destruction
Wiz: and Popeye, the spinach eating Sailor
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skill to decide who would win a Death Battle!
Kirby swallows everything Death Battle![]
Wiz: On a faraway planet in a faraway galaxy there is a planet shaped like a star, named Planet Popstar peace was in the air for eons, especially in a place of land named Dreamland.
Boomstick: Lame... Which is why a fat penguin named King Dedede made things more fun and stole all the food of Dreamland, man no wonder he's so fat.
Wiz: No one could stand up to King Dedede's might, except one tiny little pink puff ball named Kirby.
 |
The Wicked Company by Hirozoku Ando & Jun Isikawa 
|
Boomstick: Yeah, as big as King Dedede is, Kirby is just on a whole different level in every physical category. It really pisses me off that the cute harmless looking ones are always OP.
Wiz: After defeating King Dedede, peace was restored to Dreamland, until some new evil showed up in dark matter, nightmare demons, a literal god and an eldritch demon.
Boomstick: What-
Wiz: For being as small as he is, he is surprisingly strong. Like a god level of strength.
Boomstick: Like that one time he took a baseball bat, and hit a UNIVERSE THREAT METEOR, 10,000 LIGHT YEARS AWAY. In 20 seconds.
Wiz: He has to be strong if he’s topped Void Termina, who was stated to destroy entire worlds.
Boomstick: Despite being so small, he is fast enough to react to demons capable of destroying entire worlds, has been hit by a black hole and survived, seemingly never gets tired unless he gets hit a lot, which I had that last one.
Wiz: This isn’t even talking about his strongest ability yet.
Boomstick: His ability to suck peo-...
Wiz: …. Maybe you should stop.
Boomstick: Yeah, yeah maybe I should.
Wiz: Anyway, Kirby’s copy ability allows him to swallow any one or any thing into his bottomless void of a stomach and gain the powers.
|
Dededestroyer Z by Jun Ishikawa
|
Wiz: These can range from gaining wings despite being able to fly already, control over fire, water, ice, leafs, even gaining swords.
Boomstick: Or getting fucking guns! I thought this was a kids game.
Wiz: With a sword, he can go toe to toe with and even beat Meta Knight, who is a skilled and expert swordsman.
Boomstick: He even has a warp star that can take him across the entire galaxy in a few seconds! But..even with all this cool stuff he does something so lame it counters it all. Power of friendship.
Star Ally Sprinkler
Wiz: When he fought that World Destroyer in Void Termina, he was pretty even with it, but all of a sudden the spirits of his friend all showed up and pummeled Void Termina, bringing the destroyer down.
Boomstick: Ew
Wiz: But before they even showed up, in the Star Ally Sparkler he beat Void Termina in a BEAM CLASH.
Boomstick: Oh god Kirby is being closer to Dragon Ball. My worst fear.
Wiz: Despite his height, he manages to do a thing he calls ‘a mouthful’ where he covers an object completely in his mouth, being something from a cone to giant stars.
Boomstick: My personal favorite is when he becomes Car Kirby, because I need him to come over to my car because he made that car DURABLE. Because there is no way a normal car can break through a giant meteor literally pulled from space. AND THEN KILL AN ELDRITCH DEMON.
Wiz: But then..if Kirby finds a miracle fruit, he can eat and become..
Wiz / Boomstick: Hypernova / Gay Kirby… I’m sorry what?
Boomstick: When he gets the colors of the rainbow, he can swallow anything and everything in his path, although he can’t quite jump when doing it, he can still destroy everything in sight.
Wiz: Or he can find an enemy with a strange glow that when using his copy ability, it is much stronger than usual, like when getting the strange power up with the sword, the sword becomes gigantic, or having Bowser level of fire breath.
Boomstick: Remember when we mentioned Kirby beat a World Destroyer, if you fight him again, you fight ‘Void Soul’ and KILL HIM. KIRBY FUCKING KILLED A SOUL.
Wiz: So don’t mess with Popstar, or you’ll have to face its champion!
Kirby: Hiiiii
Popeye eats Spinach in Death Battle![]
|
Sozzled Sailor by Samuel Lerner
|
Wiz: In Santa Monica California, a baby was born and-
Boomstick: It was the UGLIEST THING EVER. If I had a baby like that I’d debate finishing my baby launcher idea.
Wiz: Well.. In some points, you and his father felt the same, as the kid got abandoned by his father out of pure embarrassment of how ugly it was, and got adopted by a man named Wheeler Joe.
Boomstick: Little did his father know, that he left someone who would become the King of Spinach..and old cartoons. His name, was Popeye.
Wiz: Because of Wheeler Joe, he decided to put himself to the test, joining the United States navy and trying boxing where he quickly became the Heavyweight champion.
Boomstick: Do you think they allowed him to use his stretchy powers, because he can stretch, decompress and twist however he wants as if he is a living rubber band.
Wiz: He doesn’t need it. He is strong enough to punch people around the entire Earth, hit someone so hard in the air he tilts the Earth when they land, and even gives the sun a black eye.
Boomstick: He can even punch stuff into smaller elements, like how he punched a whole ass anchor into fish hooks, or when he punched lightning back into the sky. Although I have to assume he isn’t that smart because he boxed himself.
Wiz: But Popeye is so fast that when he boxed himself, he occupied two places and hit himself. And his source of strength comes from the most powerful thing in the world, Spinach.
Boomstick: This drug of a vegetable makes Popeye super overpowered, to the point where he can mostly do whatever he wants.
Wiz: He can transform his body into literally anything, turn invisible, fly and even come back from the dead. That’s right. If Popeye somehow dies, he can eat spinach while dead and come back to life.
Boomstick: God, albeit an ugly version of god, literally turned OFF reality, and he just ignored it, or when he was erased. His nothingness ate spinach and he came back just fine!
Wiz: Hey Boomstick, would you like to try and animate Popeye by any chance? I’ll simulate it.
Boomstick: I…don’t like where this is going.
Boomstick tries to animate Popeye cause Wiz is persistent.
Wiz: If you’re an animator, Popeye can do this to you.
Wiz punches Boomstick in the face
Boomstick: Ah! Wiz, what the fuck?
Wiz: Popeye can punch his animator drawing him.
Boomstick: This means WAR!
Wiz: Oh, calm down, I didn’t hit you that hard. Because Popeye will tear the film strip apart to hit you and I didn’t.
Boomstick: I’m going to Eat my Spinach to get my revenge!
Popeye: I'm Popeye the Sailor Maaan! *toot toot*
Intermission[]
Poll if you want: https://strawpoll.com/e7ZJawrzLg3[]
Wiz: The combatants are set, we've run the data through every possibility
Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!
BATTLE![]
Setting: Planet Popstar
Kirby was sleeping under a tree when suddenly a can fell on his head and onto the floor, waking him up. Kirby stirs awake and sees the can; it has a sailor advertising spinach on the front. Food is food, so Kirby tries to eat it when the sailor jumps out of the can and punches him.
Popeye: "This is me spinach, not yours."
Kirby gets up and gets an angry face at him as he sees an enemy with a sword nearby who tries to run, but Kirby swallows him up and gets a sword.
Popeye: "Put 'em up."
FIGHT
Popeye sprints at Kirby, who easily dodges the first few punches he throws to land multiple slashes on Popeye. Popeye finally lands a punch and Kirby gets sent flying into another tree. Kirby slices the tree in half and kicks it at Popeye who just punches it to destroy it. Kirby does a jump slash at Popeye, who dodges with ease and kicks Kirby high in the air, and before Kirby can land, he hits him with an uppercut.
Popeye waits for Kirby to fall back down, but he doesn't. Popeye looks for Kirby and gets air slashes sent toward him that make him tumble. Kirby lands now with bird wings and then sends a lot more air slashes at Popeye. Popeye dodges them all and hits Kirby into the ground so hard that he loses his wings and makes a huge crack in Planet Popstar.
Popeye's pipe then spews fire down at Kirby, who just swallows it and gets fire on his head.
Popeye: "Huh?"
Kirby then spits fire in Popeye's face, causing Popeye to have to step backward. When Popeye can see again, Kirby now has a bandana on his head. Kirby then punches the ground so hard it causes a chasm to form splitting the land into two. Popeye and Kirby both jump the distance at the same time, and Kirby kicks Popeye up 3 times, but Popeye clubs Kirby sending him down the chasm.
Popeye lands on the other side but then hears a floating sound. He spins around and sees Kirby fly out of the chasm. Popeye then pulls a spinach can out of nowhere and eats it, gaining strength and making Kirby very confused. Popeye moves much faster than Kirby could notice and gets hit multiple times before getting dragged across the ground and punched around the entirety of Planet Popstar and lands at Popeye's feet looking very sad.
Kirby looks at Popeye as if asking 'how?' and Popeye acts as if he heard him. So he pulls out a spinach can and holds it.
Popeye: "I ate me Spinach!"
The Spinach can then got sucked out of his hand and into Kirby's mouth who swallows it... Kirby is now wearing a sailor hat with a very confident look.
Popeye: "Eh, uh oh."
Kirby then punches Popeye in the face, sending him flying into space before jumping into space after him and kicking him in the chest multiple times, sending him to a small planet and destroying it. Kirby follows up by flying into Popeye, punching him in the face, but his body doesn't move. Popeye just stretched far back and used the momentum to punch Kirby and send him flying. Kirby then flies up to Popeye, dodges a punch, uppercuts Popeye, and kicks him through a planet.
Popeye files back at Kirby, throws a punch that Kirby dodges, and punches him 5 more times sending him reeling. Kirby goes for another punch, but Popeye blocks it and stares Kirby in the eyes before punching Kirby, sending him through 2 different planets. Kirby dodges a knee from Popeye, who then tackles Popeye through multiple asteroids before getting kicked by Popeye, sending him back 30 feet.
Before Kirby can recover, Popeye hits Kirby so hard that he loses the spinach power-up. Popeye punches Kirby again into a star that explodes into a black hole. Popeye then turns his legs into a motor and flies back to Planet Popstar.
Popeye sits down next to the tree Kirby sat by when the fight first started and relaxes. But then, a sudden light In the sky caught Popeye's attention. Popeye quickly stands up to try and see what it is, but before he can see what it is, it flies into him, tackling him. Popeye looks up to see Kirby still alive on his warp star.
Kirby hits Popeye, trying to get him to let go of the Warp Star, but Popeye won't budge. Instead, Popeye keeps his feet steady on the ground, grabs the Warp Star, spins it around, and tosses it into a nearby mountain causing a huge explosion. Kirby appears behind him, and suddenly the miracle fruit falls next to Kirby, and he eats it becoming Hypernova Kirby.
Kirby then starts sucking, trying to eat everything here, even pulling Popeye. No matter, how strong he is, Popeye can not resist the pull and gets sucked into Kirby. Kirby swallows, detransforming, finally having eaten Popeye. Kirby does a full breakdance move and poses, but then Kirby feels funny and Kirby's mouth gets pried open, and Popeye crawls out before punching Kirby in the face sending him flying.
Popeye wipes his hands on his clothes and picks up his hat that fell off his head from doing that, he then hears a horn and turns around to see Kirby controlling a truck driving towards him. Popeye scowls stands his place and sticks his hands out, Kirby goes at full speed but Popeye can still stop the truck in its tracks. Popeye grabs the truck, picks it up, and slams it down next to him, effectively destroying it.
Kirby stops controlling the truck and is very much stunned by the slam, which allows Popeye to slam his fist firmly into Kirby, sending Kirby flying to the ground. Popeye walks up to the barely moving Kirby and raises his fist to deliver the final blow. But before his fist connects, Kirby vanishes and Popeye looks around confused and sees Kirby behind him in the Star Ally Sprinkler.
Kirby shoots multiple blasts at Popeye that send him flying into the air, Popeye starts moving his legs fast and he runs down the air at Kirby in the Star Ally Sprinkler, going through all the blasts being thrown at him. But then, the spirits of Kirby's friends show up and hit Popeye even farther up in the air.
This gives Kirby the time to charge up a large blast and shoot it at Popeye, landing a direct shot and pushing Popeye up and higher into the skies. Popeye summons one more spinach can, but it gets snatched out of his hand by the spirit of Chef Kawasaki, who then sticks his tongue out at Popeye.
The blast pushes Popeye even higher into the air, even pushing him out of the atmosphere. Popeye starts to feel warm, he turns around, and the sun is right there. Before Popeye can maneuver out of the way, the blast pushes Popeye into the sun, his rubber body freaking out and turning into multiple messed up shapes and objects before the force from the blast causes the sun to Supernova.
Before the supernova can reach Popstar, Magolor appears out of nowhere and protects the planet, then turns to Kirby.
Magolor: "What did you do."
Kirby: "Poyo?"
K.O
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: W..What? How did Popeye lose, he can literally come back from the dead!
Wiz: That may be true, but he can only do that with his spinach, and Kirby has everything he needs to kill him permanently.
Boomstick: Yeah, Popeye may be strong, but Kirby is much stronger. Sure, Popeye can hit someone so hard it tilts the entire planet, but Kirby hit a meteor capable of destroying the universe 10,000 light years away! I think that would do more than just tilt the Earth.
Wiz: So Kirby very easily takes strength, but it gets a lot more complicated from there, because Popeye is a lot faster than Kirby just by himself, but Kirby with his Star Ally Sprinkler and especially his Warp Star, is faster than Popeye.
Boomstick: While Popeye definitely does have the almighty power of toon force, making him able to do all sorts of things like spit fire out of his pipe, fly or even turn invisible, but Kirby can either counter or survive all of those with relative ease.
Wiz: Kirby survived an entire black hole in the fight against Magolor, and Popeye has nothing in his arsenal on par, or stronger than a black hole. And there was one thing Kirby had that Popeye never could defeat.
Boomstick: Don’t say it
Wiz: The power of friendship.
Boomstick: Noooo
Wiz: I’m serious! Kirby and the friendship he has with his friends are so strong, the spirits of his friend would come to help and if they could destroy Void Termina, they are more capable of destroying or at the very least, opening Popeye up for the killing blow.
Boomstick: ‘but Wiz, Popeye could’ve eaten his spinach enough to overpower it’ I hear you cry through the screen.
Wiz: Even if that is true, Kirby or his friends can very easily remove it. The spirits can fly up to grab it and Popeye can’t do anything about it, and Kirby can just suck it up. Popeye just had no way to eat his spinach without it being either stolen or eaten.
Boomstick: And when he got erased, he still needed to eat spinach, without that plant, he can’t do anything to come back this time.
Wiz: So despite Popeye’s shere speed, survivability and overpowered spinach, it was no match for Kirby’s absurd strength, durability, powers and friendship.
Boomstick: Popeye’s ship has finally sailed
Wiz: The Winner Is Kirby
Next Time...[]
Next Time, a Battle between two American...heroes
Well, one of them is true hero
Next up.. Captain America vs Homelander
