KRtD Boss Battle Royale is a What-If? Death Battle by Vrokorta & serves as his Season 2 Finale. It pits most of the bosses from KRtD.
Rules[]
- I'm not including Grand Doomer, Magolor, Landia, Galacta Knight, or Composite Whispy, as they have too many advantages.
- Grand Doomer is WAY stronger than the normal bosses, & has a shield that can only be broken by Super Abilities.
- Magolor & Landia have limitless power via the Master Crown, & extraordinary speed in base. That's not to mention Magolor also has a shield that can only be broken by Super Abilities.
- Galacta Knight is the strongest warrior in the galaxy, & his various appearances give him an arsenal & experience advantage over the normal bosses.
- Composite Whispy has too many forms, abilities, & feats to be fairly matched up with the normal bosses. Therefore, he will only have feats & abilities showcased in KRtD.
- Mid-bosses won't be included as they would make the fight too large, as well as make it confusing to figure out the winner.
- ALL bosses will have access to their EX forms.
- Scaling will not be used.
Description[]
A battle between all the bosses in Kirby's Return to Dreamland! ... okay not exactly.
Interlude[]
Sphere Robot: Y'know, Kirby's Return to Dreamland sure brought us a lot of new bosses, like the almighty Magolor & Landia.
Vrokorta: But what about the lesser bosses, like Mr. Dooter, Fatty Puffer, Goriath, & Metal General?
Sphere Robot: I mean there's also Whispy Woods.
Vrokorta: Yeah but he's in every game.
Sphere Robot: Either way, those bosses are a lot weaker than the others, so they're less noteworthy.
Vrokorta: But they were cool! So cool in fact that I want to know who's the best among them.
Sphere Robot: ... you want to make a fight between Whispy Woods, Mr. Dooter, Fatty Puffer, Goriath, & Metal General?
Vrokorta: Absolutely.
Sphere Robot: Well alright then, guess we'll analyze their feats, arsenal & skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle.
Whispy Woods[]
Vrokorta: Whispy Woods, the first boss of every Kirby game.
Sphere Robot: Not really, but still a staple of the series nonetheless.
Vrokorta: He has abilities like... blowing air at his enemies &... dropping apples on their heads... okay I guess he doesn't have that many primary abilities.
Sphere Robot: True , but there's also his limited summoning capabilities, as he can drop the cannon fodder Waddle Dee minions, flying Bronto Burts, the nigh-invincible spiked Gordos, & little spider-like creatures called Comos, all just from shaking his leaves around.
Vrokorta: Oh yeah, I guess he does have a few good abilities after all. Not to mention that he can double in size after losing half of his health points, making him stronger & granting him the ability to suck up & chew on his enemies... without teeth.
Sphere Robot: Getting eaten by a tree with no teeth, not a cause of death you'd ever expect to hear, or experience. Honestly that's a sucky way to go.
Vrokorta: Moving on! Whispy on his own isn't very strong, having a strength of about 200 Joules just by existing due to the potential energy he generates simply by standing. When he's giant though, his strength gets boosted to 2 Kilojoules, being strong enough to suck up large quantities of air at the astonishing speed of 53 meters per second.
Sphere Robot: Impressive for a tree that is literally rooted to the ground & can barely move.
Vrokorta: If all else fails though, he can activate his EX form, turning his leaves purple & gaining a handful of new abilities.
Sphere Robot: He can stab his roots up through the ground to impale opponents at close range, he can drop poisonous apples, & he can summon Scarfies, which explode against enemies with an energy of 9 Kilojoules.
Vrokorta: In this new form, he becomes even stronger, generating 173 Kilojoules of energy when he stabs his roots through the ground.
Sphere Robot: Whispy may be tougher than he looks, but there's a reason why he's usually the first boss, & the easiest to beat.
Vrokorta: Dude can barely move, being rooted to the ground and all, & some of his attacks leave him briefly stunned.
Sphere Robot: Even so, Whispy's stood the test of time. He may go down easy, but he... where was I going with this?
Mr. Dooter[]
Vrokorta: Mr. Dooter, one of the most mysterious beings in the Kirby series.
Sphere Robot: Mostly because he died before we could really learn anything about him. I mean, where'd he come from? What's the source of his power? Does he play into the deep & complex lore of the Kirby series? If so, how?
Vrokorta: We may never know the answers to those questions, but we do know what we need to know for battle, like his abilities.
Sphere Robot: Mr. Dooter can fly through the air using wind magic, utilize telekinesis to throw objects from a distance, create small air vortexes around his body, & even has limited summoning abilities, allowing him to throw snakes & bats from his turban to attack enemies for him.
Vrokorta: More notably is his ability to spawn items in his hands, including human skulls, explosive bombs, & more of the nigh-invincible Gordos that Whispy can summon. In fact, he throws those skulls hard enough to shatter them, & the energy required to break a bone is anywhere from 375 to 9920 Joules of energy.
Sphere Robot: Like Whispy, he can also double in size after losing half of his health points, & gains the ability to throw a flaming punch.
Vrokorta: Considering he doesn't use other fire abilities, there's a good chance he's actually punching so fast that he's igniting his leather gloves. Taking into account the specific heat capacity of leather, the mass of his fist, the change in temperature, the time it takes him to ignite his fist, the drag coefficient of his fist, & a couple other variables I won't bother mentioning, we're able to find that his fist was moving at 1266 meters per second, 3.69 times the speed of sound.
Sphere Robot: At that speed, his fist would generate a kinetic energy equivalent to 2.14 Megajoules of energy.
Vrokorta: He also has an EX form, though it doesn't add much beyond giving him flaming skulls, the ability to set the ground on fire, & the ability to grab & juggle foes, though there's nothing stopping him from doing the latter in his normal form.
Sphere Robot: Overall, a mysterious magician that we may never learn more about, but still a formidable foe.
Fatty Puffer[]
Vrokorta: Let's say you try to turn a pufferfish into a boss fight. What attribute would you apply to make it more imposing?
Sphere Robot: Oh I dunno, make it a king? Give it wings? An entire human body? We could always make him a god-like entity.
Vrokorta: Those are all good suggestions, but Nintendo & HAL took a more... unique approach.
Sphere Robot: Like what?
Vrokorta: They made him fat.
Sphere Robot: Oh, uh... that's not what I had in mind.
Vrokorta: I don't think it's what any of us had in mind, except for... you know, the more PARTICULAR individuals.
Sphere Robot: Like yourself?
Vrokorta: Yes, like myself.
Sphere Robot: Well let's get back to the important stuff. Fatty Puffer can spit globs & streams of water as projectiles, spit out other smaller pufferfish to attack foes, create earthquakes that knock debris from the ceiling, & fill himself with air like a real pufferfish to increase his size & bowl over enemies.
Vrokorta: For being a legless animal, Fatty Puffer is great at jumping around as he tries to crush his foes, & surprisingly enough, he appears to be capable of digging.
Popup: Fatty Puffer begins the fight mostly buried in the ground, & proceeds to dig deeper before bursting out through sheer force. It doesn't make much sense considering his lack of limbs, but there's little other explanation for how he does this.
Sphere Robot: Then there's his EX form. Fatty Puffer's skin becomes a bright, reddish orange. His speed gets a significant boost, & he gains the ability to roll & stand on walls & ceilings.
Vrokorta: In terms of speed, Fatty Puffer is nothing to write home about, mostly waddling around, & achieving a top speed of 2.55 meters per second when he rolls while inflated. His water stream attack is faster, but only clocks in at just over 4 meters per second.
Sphere Robot: His strength, on the other hand, is surprisingly impressive. Before he begins fighting Kirby, Fatty Puffer bursts through the very ground he's buried in, which'd require energy equivalent to 8.28 Megajoules of energy.
Vrokorta: Impressive for a fat, limbless fish. You thought poison was a reason not to eat puffers, but this guy will make you regret eating fish ever again.
Goriath[]
Vrokorta: Goriath, one of my favorite bosses in the game, the gorilla goliath, who frankly doesn't look much like a gorilla, but is still a better concept & design than Gorimondo-
Sphere Robot: Will you drop it, we have an actual analysis to do.
Vrokorta: Right, so for starters, Goriath is highly acrobatic, performing numerous flips & wall jumps, as well as being able to climb sheer ice walls.
Sphere Robot: Impressive, considering the lack of friction.
Vrokorta: He also specializes in ice, throwing snowballs & spiky ice balls as projectiles. If that wasn't enough, he can even wind up a punch & send his fist stretching across the battlefield at speeds exceeding 43 meters per second.
Sphere Robot: But like the other bosses, he becomes stronger after losing half of his health points, turning his hair blonde like a hecking SUPER SAIYAN!
Vrokorta: And considering the hadoken-like chi blasts he can fire in this form, I wouldn't be surprised if he was. Another move he has is to charge up energy before sending himself flying through the air & ricocheting off of walls to hit his foes. On top of all that, he can create shock waves powerful enough to knock ice spikes from the ceiling... even though there's no visible ceiling in Goriath's arena.
Sphere Robot: Not the only time that's happened.
Vrokorta: And we're still not done, cause we haven't even covered his EX form.
Sphere Robot: Well it can't add that much can it?
Vrokorta: True, all he gets are larger snowballs, more spiky ice balls, & a spirit bomb.
Sphere Robot: Yeah, so we can just- I'm sorry what was that?
Vrokorta: The part about the balls?
Sphere Robot: NO! The spirit bomb!
Vrokorta: Oh. Yeah Goriath totally has a spirit bomb, which generates energy just over 10 Megajoules.
Sphere Robot: Well alright then! Anything else you neglected to mention?
Vrokorta: No, but now we can start talking about his feats, like how he breaks ice floors, or creates shock waves with an energy of 903 Kilojoules. Not to mention that he can jump at speeds just over 8 meters per second, which is impressive for someone who's only 55cm tall. Though frankly, the most surprising thing about Goriath, is the fact that he doesn't die after losing all his HP. In fact, the only reason he dies in-game is because he falls off a cliff after Kirby drains his HP. If he hadn't fallen, he'd probably still be alive, which gives him a bit of a stamina advantage over the other bosses.
Sphere Robot: He may be strong, but he has the small issue of being briefly stunned after certain attacks, like shaking his hand off after throwing a stretchy punch into a wall.
Vrokorta: Even so, he's one gorilla you don't want to mess with.
Sphere Robot: I should hope people don't want to mess with ANY gorilla.
Metal General[]
Vrokorta: Last but not least, the general who leads with an iron fist... literally.
Sphere Robot: If we're speaking in literals, then our research dictates that Metal General would likely be made of aluminum, not iron, as aluminum is a less dense material, making it lighter & easier to achieve flight with.
Vrokorta: It was just a pun, it doesn't need to be THAT serious.
Sphere Robot: It does when I'm involved.
Vrokorta: Fine then. Anyways, as Sphere Robot just said, Metal General is able to fly thanks to the jet boosters on his back. On top of that, he wields a laser sword for close-range combat, can utilize electricity to either fire at foes or surround himself for defense, can summon drones to fire electricity at foes, & has numerous explosives in the form of homing missiles & landmines.
Sphere Robot: Some missiles are so big that Metal General can ride on them & try to ram enemies before they explode, with said explosion being potent enough to set the ground on fire.
Vrokorta: For being one of the smallest & least imposing bosses in the game, Metal General is nothing to scoff at. He can swing his sword at speeds over 27 meters per second, his missiles should be capable of reaching speeds up to Mach 2.9 based on the Japanese Type 81 missile, & his electricity should have a top speed just under Mach 12.
Sphere Robot: That's not all. The explosion from his mines & missiles releases energy just over 15 Kilojoules, & his giant missiles have a kinetic energy of 19.79 Megajoules!
Vrokorta: Then there's his EX form, where his body turns red & his attacks become much more aggressive.
Sphere Robot: His mines fire off bolts of electricity, he can summon even more drones to bombard the battlefield, & he can send out multiple giant missiles at once.
Vrokorta: And let's not forget his giant mech.
Sphere Robot: His what now-
Vrokorta: HR-D THREEEEEEEEE!!!!! The massive hecking mech that comes out of hecking nowhere with its jetpack, massive fist, drill hand, laser eyes, electric slaps, heated slaps, & a massive MOUTH LASER!
Sphere Robot: Uhm, yes, well... it's said that HR-D3 is an ancient war machine, so it's safe to assume it exceeds the strength of anything Metal General wields normally, seeing as it's his ace in the hole & all.
Vrokorta: And to top it all off, Metal General has virtually NO weaknesses, so he won't be easy to take down.
Sphere Robot: It's no wonder he has the title of "General".
Intermission[]
Vrokorta: Alright, the combatants are set.
Sphere Robot: The readers have their roots & bets, all that's left is to see the outcome.
Vrokorta: It's time for a Death Battle!
Death Battle[]
The scene overlooks a pleasant green forest surrounded by trees. Tall trees, wide trees, & a tree with a nose. Said nosy tree shook for a bit before eye holes & a mouth appeared around its nose, completing the form of Whispy Woods. It was a lazy morning, as most mornings were for a tree. Wake up, drop some apples, maybe get some bugs out of your hair, & go back to sleep. Whispy was looking forward to an uneventful day. Before getting started though, he took a moment to take in his surroundings. There was grass, trees, an abandoned turban, &-
Wait... an abandoned turban?
Whispy turned his gaze back to the oddly misplaced headpiece, wondering how it even got there. Suddenly, a pair of hands descended from the sky & lifted the turban into the air, leaving it floating there, as if it was being worn by an invisible being. The hands knocked on the turban a few times, & a strange blue gas started to escape from it. The hands struck harder, & the gas suddenly poured out in full force before materializing into some kind of genie shaped like a bowling pin. Mr. Dooter struck a pose, as if expecting some kind of applause for his magic trick.
Whispy was not amused. However, before he could engage the intruder, he noticed a pair of eyes staring up at him from the ground.
... the heck even is that?
Whispy got his answer as the eyes burst from the ground, a large round body following right behind it. As the dust & debris cleared, it was now clear what this thing was. A massively overweight pufferfish, that somehow stood on land with no water. Fatty Puffer stared menacingly at the two opposing bosses.
This is getting ridiculous. Whispy thought before a powerful impact struck the ground to his right. All three bosses turned to see a strange white ape as the source of the impact. Goriath roared into the air before slapping his hands against the ground, as if to intimidate his foes.
Whispy was so shocked, that he almost didn't notice a 4th newcomer. A blue robot descended from the sky, flames ejecting from his back. The flames quickly disappeared, & the robot dropped to the ground, landing with a soft *thunk* as his feet hit the earth. He looked between all 4 bosses as he scanned them for info.
HOSTILE
HOSTILE
HOSTILE
HOSTILE
Was all his readings gave. Metal General narrowed his eyes before drawing his sword. He knew what he had to do.
Whispy on the other hand, was fed up with all of these strange intruders, & roared in anticipation of driving them all off.
Mr. Dooter, who seemed surprisingly calm, simply summoned three skulls & started juggling them.
Fatty Puffer roared before filling himself with air, rounding himself out like a basketball.
Goriath quickly leapt onto a tree, & pulled out a snowball.
This would be a battle unlike any other.
FIGHT!
Whispy Woods immediately started blowing air at Mr. Dooter. However, the genie simply hopped around, gracefully avoiding the air projectiles before throwing the skulls at the tree, the impact cracking his bark. Whispy shook in anger before roaring, his power spiking as his leaves turned purple & his body grew. The tree lashed out with his roots, piercing Dooter several times with his sharpened bark. The genie recoiled & clutched at his wounds. Dooter narrowed his eyes, he was serious now. With that, the genie summoned three bombs & threw them at Whispy EX.
Fatty Puffer immediately rolled into his closest target, Metal General. The robot swung his sword, delivering a solid slash, but doing nothing to halt the fish, as Puffer bowled him over. The fish came to a stop, but was hit by a pair of snowballs. He turned to see Goriath clinging to a tree, throwing snowballs at the puffer. Fatty Puffer reeled back & spit a glob of water at the gorilla, but he simply jumped to another tree, & kept throwing snowballs at him.
Before Fatty Puffer could pursue, he was rammed by Metal General, knocking him onto his side. The robot drew his sword & slashed at the prone fish, causing him to roar in pain. Fatty Puffer managed to pull himself back up, & leapt into the air to crush Metal General. The robot simply used his boosters to hop backwards, quickly dodging the large fish. Metal General then placed his sword in front of him & spun it in a circle before charging straight at Fatty Puffer. However, the fish quickly disappeared underground, burrowing out of the way of General's attack.
The robot tried to halt himself, but the fish acted fast, leaping from his hiding spot & landing on top of the general. Fatty Puffer laughed at his flattened foe, only to see Goriath land in front of him & throw a punch, nailing Puffer in the face & sending him sprawling into a tree. The fish shook himself off before turning his gaze back to the gorilla. He roared in anger before suddenly doubling in size, his purple skin turning a fiery orange, & his eyes turning a vicious red as a crown of coral appeared on his head.
Mr. Dooter hopped around, dodging Whispy's various attempts to strike him down. His air bullets were easily avoided & his roots could simply be hopped over. Whispy continued to grow enraged as he started swinging his whole body around, flinging various objects from his leaves. Gordos, apples, Waddle Dees, & Scarfies were all sent hurtling towards the genie.
However, Dooter used his telekinesis to grab them all out of the air & throw them back at Whispy. The apples smashed against his face, the Waddle Dees helplessly *poofed* away on impact, & the Gordos pierced his bark. If Dooter could smirk, he would, as there was nothing Whispy could do to him now. At least, that's what he thought before the Scarfies came back & exploded against him, sending the genie reeling.
Now Whispy smirked, watching the confidence escape his foe. However, this only forced Dooter's hand. He wiped the ashes from his face before suddenly growing in size his body turning red & a mustache growing in the space under his eyes. Mr. Dooter EX reeled back his fist, & threw a flaming punch at the tree.
Fatty Puffer EX was now rolling around the battlefield, forcing Goriath & Metal General to fight defensively. Goriath hopped onto another tree & started throwing snowballs, but Puffer ran him down & toppled the tree. As the gorilla pulled himself back to his feet, the fish came charging towards him. Acting fast, Goriath started slapping his palms against the ground. Right before Puffer could run him down again, the ground shattered under the fish, getting him stuck in a pitfall. Goriath grinned before delivering a series of punches to Fatty Puffer's face. The fish retaliated by spewing a geyser of water from his mouth, pushing Goriath several feet backwards.
As the gorilla was sent away, the general took his place, as Metal General flew in & started firing missiles at Fatty Puffer. The fish quickly burrowed again to avoid the projectiles, & popped back up behind Metal General to spit a stream of water at him as well. The robot tried to avoid it, but took a glancing blow that sent him crashing to the ground. Fatty Puffer leapt backwards, filled his body with air, & prepared to run the general down.
Mr. Dooter delivered punch after punch after punch, singing Whispy's bark & leaves. The tree continued to attack the genie, blowing at him, dropping apples, stabbing with his roots, but it was all to no avail. Dooter simply punched & burned any attempts Whispy made too attack him. The tree only had one option left. Whispy slowly opened his mouth, as wide as he could, & started rapidly drawing in air.
Mr. Dooter saw this too late, & threw a punch right into Whispy's mouth. The tree shut his mouth & started chewing on the hand, causing Dooter to writhe in pain. The genie narrowed his eyes in anger, but didn't seem to retaliate. Then, Whispy felt odd, warm even. The warmth grew uncomfortable, growing hotter, & soon felt like a raging inferno. Whispy screamed into the air as flames erupted from his mouth & eyes, his leaves immediately combusting right with it.
Mr. Dooter pulled his bruised hand back, & watched as Whispy was quickly reduced to a blackened husk.
Whispy Woods
However, the genie wasn't finished. He grabbed the dead tree with both hands, & tore him from the ground. His roots were still sharp, perfect. Dooter reeled back with his good hand, picked out a nice target, & launched Whispy like a javelin.
Metal General looked up at the oncoming fish, & prepared for the worst. However, he was not prepared for a tree to soar over his head & embed itself in his assailant's swollen gut.
Fatty Puffer immediately halted his charge, as Whispy's corpse pierced straight through his torso. The fish gave a weak moan before slumping over, his eyes having rolled back in his head.
Fatty Puffer
Metal General looked behind him to see the mustachioed Mr. Dooter approach, an angry glare in his eyes. On the opposite side of the robot, Goriath approached, drenched but largely unharmed. Upon seeing his new adversary, the ape grimaced. Goriath set his arms at his sides before giving a roar of raw power. His grey hair turned a shimmering yellow, & his tan skin turned black as night.
Metal General narrowed his eyes before doing the same. The robot surrounded himself in electricity, & his blue chassis suddenly became red.
Mr. Dooter EX readied a flaming fist.
Goriath EX cupped his hands at his side, building up energy.
Metal General EX summoned a dozen drones, & aimed his rocket launcher into the air.
Metal General let his rockets going flying as they homed in on Dooter & Goriath. The genie turned his attention to the projectiles & started punching them out of the air. Meanwhile, Goriath unleashed a series of energy blasts from his hands, destroying the rockets before they could reach him.
The general took advantage of the distraction, & ordered his drones to attack, blasting small bolts of electricity at both bosses. Goriath took a few shocks before slapping at the ground, destroying any drones he struck & breaking the rest with the resulting shockwaves of his blows.
After a few quick shocks, Dooter turned his attention to the drones as well. He threw several punches, each one breaking the sound barrier, but missing the drones. Upon being shocked again, he took a different approach. The genie grabbed all of the drones in front of him with telekinesis, & threw them back at Metal General.
The robot saw this, & performed a series of hops to avoid the projectiles, as all of his drones exploded against the ground where he'd just been standing. Metal General drew his sword, but before he could retaliate, Goriath punched him in the back, sending him crashing into Dooter. The genie shook himself off before lifting Metal General with his telekinesis & throwing him back at the gorilla. However, Goriath leapt out of the way, & jumped off a tree, sending himself flying headfirst into Mr. Dooter.
The genie recoiled from the impact, but Goriath didn't let up, as he delivered a series of punches to Dooter's face. However, the genie managed to recover, & grabbed Goriath by both of his hands. Dooter sent both hands in opposite directions, attempting to rip the gorilla in half. However, all he succeeded in doing was stretching out Goriath's arms.
As Dooter stood dumbfounded, Goriath heard something approaching from behind. Whatever it was, it was coming straight for him, & his options for dodging were limited. Heedless, he made use of Dooter's hands as leverage, & swung himself downward like a bungee cord just in time. Coming from right behind Goriath was Metal General, riding a giant missile. The genie could only widen his eyes in shock as the missile collided, obliterating his body & leaving his hands & turban to disappear into mist.
Mr. Dooter
Goriath recovered his hands as Metal General crashed his rocket, creating an explosion of flames that proceeded to light the forest on fire. The general walked out of the flames unscathed, & Goriath growled before smacking the ground in an attempt to intimidate his foe.
(Stop Music)
Metal General leapt away, disappearing into the flaming brush... It would seem Goriath's attempt at intimidation had worked...
This was obviously not the case.
A massive red machine ascended from the raging inferno & hovered in the air in front of Goriath. The machine's head opened to reveal Metal General seated inside. Goriath slapped the ground in rage, seeing that his foe had refused to back down. Metal General simply closed the hatch back before the machine flexed its arms & reeled back its fist.
FINAL BATTLE!
HR-D3 swung downward, trying to smash Goriath with its fist. The ape leapt away from it, & proceeded to throw spiky ice balls at the massive machine. HR-D3 shrugged off the blows before extending its arms away from its body. The machine proceeded to spin along the ground, attempting to strike the gorilla with its whirling arms.
Goriath leapt back a few more times before striking the ground with his palms, shattering it just as he did with Fatty Puffer. The machine dropped into the hole & stopped spinning, much to Goriath's satisfaction. However, HR-D3 simply flew out of the hole, stopping several feet above the gorilla.
From there, it proceeded to open its head & fire lasers from its eyes, striking the ape directly in the face. Goriath ignored his pain & cupped his hands again. With a series of thrusts, he launched several balls of energy from his joined palms directly at HR-D3. The machine simply flexed before flying out of the way of his attacks, taking only a few glancing blows as it did so.
Moments later, it stopped right above Goriath, & dropped down. The gorilla's eyes widened in shock, but he managed to jump out of the way as the machine came crashing down behind him. It didn't stop there, as it proceeded to bounce along the ground, up & down, in pursuit of its primate target.
Goriath could only hop away to avoid being crushed by the massive machine. However, he came a cross another tree that was just intact enough for him to grab onto & jump off of. Just as he did with Mr. Dooter, the gorilla went flying into the machine headfirst, sending it skidding backwards from the impact.
The gorilla pulled out a snowball in each hand, & began throwing them at HR-D3, one after the other, over & over again. The machine ignored the pain, for it could not feel, as it opened its head once more. Metal General showed his face again before firing a series of missiles into the air, each one raining down on the battlefield, & giving Goriath few places to run.
As the ape tried to avoid the barrage, he couldn't help taking a few hits from the storm of artillery the general had wreaked on the forest. However, Goriath managed to find an opening, & took this opportunity to throw a stretchy punch at the general himself. It landed swift & true, smashing off a piece of the general's face. However, the robot simply released exhaust from his back before closing the hatch & preparing to finish the battle.
HR-D3 leaned over, & its head tilted upwards, revealing a large cannon stored in its torso. The cannon was building up energy, its barrel glowing with a powerful blue aura. Goriath wasn't ready to go down. With a grimace of determined rage, he hovered into the air, his hands raised above his head. HR-D3 aimed its cannon upwards back at the gorilla as Goriath generated a massive ball of energy over his head. Both bosses unleashed their power, HR-D3 fired his cannon, & Goriath threw his spirit bomb, both attacks clashing with intense force. However, the energy was too much, & both attacks erupted into a colossal explosion, catching both bosses within its deadly embrace...
(Stop Music)
Goriath lie on the ground amongst the flames, his body sore. His hair had turned back to gray, his energy having fizzled out. His pained muscles kept him from moving, so he could only hope that-
HRNNNNNNNK
Goriath's eyes shrank in fear as he heard the grinding of metal somewhere out of sight. The sound grew closer & closer, until the source finally came into sight. It was HR-D3, battered & broken. Its outer chassis had been destroyed, leaving only the skeletal remains of its inner workings, & its head had been completely removed, leaving Metal General's position exposed.
HR-D3 raised its drill hand into the air, aimed straight at Goriath. The drill began to spin, quickly reaching its maximum speed. Goriath looked up at his robotic assailant, but all he saw, was a deep, spiteful, menacing glare. It was the last thing he'd ever see, as the drill was thrust through his face, tearing his body into a bloody mess of unrecognizable bits of flesh, scattered across the burning forest.
Goriath
The view shifts, revealing the fight to have taken place on a digital screen in a high-tech room. "And that is why we based the design of our Security Force robots on the Halcandran entity known as Metal General. It is smart, efficient, fast, durable, & comes equipped with all the tools necessary to remove opposition.
A small purple man with large blue eyes sat & contemplated what he'd just witnessed. He stroked his mustache as he considered his response. "You make a fine point Star Dream, but this 'Metal General' had to rely on the HR-D3 model to achieve victory. It's success here speaks more to the mech than it does the general".
"Even so, the mech requires a pilot, & Metal General was the best model to utilize for such".
"You speak of this as though you have access to the HR-D3".
An odd light suddenly appeared behind Star Dream, "Dear Haltmann, you are a man of business, & your time is precious". The computer moved to the side, revealing a star-shaped portal, "I would not have come to you without results".
Results[]
Sphere Robot: Well, that was a lot more than I expected.
Vrokorta: Yes, but it was technically what people expected based on the comments. First to go down was Whispy. Due to only using his KRtD incarnation, he lacked the ability to move that other Whispies have showcased. This made him the least mobile, & the easiest to hit. Combine that with his limited arsenal, & being the weakest of the bosses, Whispy was doomed from the start.
Sphere Robot: Yeah, even in his EX form, Whispy only had an AP of 117 Kilojoules. Compare that to Goriath's durability of 903 Kilojoules, almost 8 times tougher than Whispy's attack power. He could barely do any damage.
Vrokorta: Next to lose was Fatty Puffer. Now don't get us wrong, Puffer was one of the strongest bosses here, with a strength of over 8 Megajoules, & a surprising mobility advantage, being able to roll up walls, stand on ceilings, & dig.
Sphere Robot: The reason he lost is because he's so slow. Fatty Puffer's top speed was equal to 4m/s, meanwhile Goriath could move twice as fast at 8m/s. Sure Mr. Dooter couldn't move that fast, but he could also fly, which would make it easier to avoid Puffer's attacks.
Vrokorta: Next to lose was Mr. Dooter, & not easily. His high speed punches could easily catch Goriath off-guard, & their energy of 2 Megajoules would go right through Goriath's 900 Kilojoule durability, not to mention his aforementioned flight would allow him to dodge most attacks. Goriath just barely edges out over him thanks to a handful of advantages. His stamina was a bit higher than Dooter's, which makes up a bit for his lacking durability. His movement speed was higher than Dooter's reactions, so even though he could punch at supersonic speed, he'd have trouble properly tracking the ape & landing a solid punch. Lastly, was Goriath's spirit bomb, which was 5 times stronger than Dooter's 2 Megajoule durability. This matchup could have gone to Dooter, but we went with Goriath for this one.
Sphere Robot: Not that it mattered, because our ultimate winner was Metal General. He had everything, a solid arsenal, great mobility, & the highest speed in the fight. Sure, Dooter's fists were technically faster than General's fastest missiles, but General's electricity was over 3 times faster. Plus, General could ride is Mach 3 missiles, giving him a movement speed advantage that Dooter would have trouble reacting to. On top of all that is a solid AP & durability advantage thanks to his giant missiles. Not only does it generate a kinetic energy of almost 20 Megajoules, twice as much as Goriath's spirit bomb, but he could also survive it with no visible harm, making him tough enough to no-sell any attack the other bosses had to offer.
Vrokorta: That's without taking into account HR-D3, which adds a whole other health bar worth of combat to this guy's already impressive stamina.
Sphere Robot: You thought the "boss" was in charge, but they really serve under the "general".
Vrokorta: The winner is Metal General.
Next Time[]
Vrokorta's Season 2 Loser Battle Royale (Upcoming)
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