King Kong Vs. Stay Puft is a Death Battle idea by Eriasu89 that pits King Kong against the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Intro[]
Boomstick: Are we really doing this?
Wiz: You ask that nearly every other episode… And yes.
Boomstick: (sighs) Kong, King of Skull Island!
Wiz: And Stay Puft, the Destructor!
Boomstick: He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their armor, weapons and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!
Kong[]
Wiz: In 1933 (or 1973, depending on the version/film) an expedition team was sent to the mysterious Skull Island. Filled with many huge, prehistoric beasts such as dinosaurs. But one stood out from the rest.
(Cue Clip from Kong: Skull Island)
Boomstick: Kong, King of Skull Island! And the apes... or whatever... Yay...
Wiz: Kong stands at 104 feet tall and weighs 158 Tons. He is intelligent, agile, and a brutal melee combatant. He is shown using tools in combat; for example, when he used a boat propellor as a flail in Kong: Skull Island. I the same film, Kong destroys multiple helicopters with realitive ease. He is also an excellent climber, scaling the Empire State Building in multiple films. And don't forget about his trademark tactic: breaking his opponent's jaw!
Boomstick: Dang! Sounds like my ex-wife!
Wiz: Shut Up. I don't need to be reminded of you shooting fireworks at my house.
Boomstick: What!?
Wiz: Anyway, when Kong is hit by lightning, he gains an electrical upgrade/power boost and can shoot lightning out of his hands.
Boomstick: Oh, so like that monster Gabara from All Monster Atta-
Wiz: Shh! We don't talk about that film here!
Boomstick: Okay; jeez. On a related topic: do you feel like this bickering is forced so we can get to the required word count? What is the meaning of life?
Wiz: Don't question it. Also, your'e scaring me.
Boomstick: I get that alot.
Wiz: That's not hard to believe. But can we get back to analyzing now?
Boomstick: Okay... One of Kong's greatest feats is defeating Godzilla, although the subject is... complicated.
Wiz: And one of Kong's weaknesses is women. He is totally in love with every woman he meets.
Boomstick: Although his opponents don't exploit that weakness as often as you'd think. In fact, it sometimes can be a roadblock for opponents.
Wiz: Are we done listing all of his random strengths and weaknesses we can think of?
Boomstick: I'm pretty sure.
Wiz: Good. I'm starting to feel kinda woozy...
Boomstick: This seems like a good time for a beer.
(Slurping Sounds)
Stay Puft[]
Wiz: The Ghostbusters were, as their name implies, basically exterminators, but for ghosts instead of bugs.
Boomstick: Then of course the demon Gozer arrives because movie logic! And not just once; Gozer visited twice: in 1984, and in 1991! Both times taking the same not-so terifying form...
Wiz: Gozer had the Ghostbusters “choose the destructor;” so they all tried to clear their minds to prevent the destruction of New York City and possibly the entire world.
Boomstick: Then freaking Dan Akroyd screws up and a giant freaking marshmallow wearing a sailor hat waltzes down the street!!!
(Cue Stay Puft’s classic entrance scene and theme)
Wiz: The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. AKA Mr. Stay Puft. AKA Stay Puft. Standing at 112.5 feet tall and weighing an estimated, well, estimates are all over the place but a-LOT; eating this Class-7 Demonic Marshmallow would literally kill you.
Boomstick: Imagine one of those with the Giant Hershey Bar Guy and two of the Oversized Graham Cracker Lad! Delish! I totally didn't steal that joke from MatPat..
Wiz: Being this giant size, Mr. Stay Puft is extraordinarily strong, shown when he steps on a church and crushes it.
Boomstick: I get it! Because he’s a demon!
Wiz: Although that doesn't make very much sense because marshmallow, he's a demon so we'll let that slide. Anyway, it is also very probable that Mr. Stay Puft could be a heavy bruiser in melee combat (because of his crazy strength). He is also capable of climbing pretty well, as shown at the end of Ghostbusters where he starts climbing up Dana's apartment building to kill the Ghostbusters. He's even flame resistant, shown when he keeps climbing even after being set on fire by the Ghostbusters.
Boomstick: Dang, that is one tough marshmallow.
Wiz: And that's not where it ends. It is entirely possible that Mr. Stay Puft has all the same powers Gozer does, which would open a whole new world of possibilities.
Boomstick: Are you actually gonna count that for the fight?
Wiz: No, that would give him a very unfair advantage, but it is possible, so I might as well bring it up.
Boomstick: Okay. Man, I feel like I'm doing your job now. I think I need more beer.
(Slurping Sounds)
Wiz: Stay Puft/Gozer have met the Transformers, Ninja Turtles and more in comics. So um.. That's some fun trivia. But seriously some of the Ghostbusters crossover comics are CRAZY.
Boomstick: Like that time they crossed over with the characters from the X-Files! Now that was awesome.
Wiz: Now I feel like we're getting off-topic.
Boomstick: What do you mean? It's not like there's much else to cover about Stay Puft.
(More Slurping Sounds)
Wiz: You're right.
Boomstick: Now let's make it fight a giant gorilla.
Intermission[]
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set, let’s end this debate once and for all!
(BLAH BLAH BLAH BLUE APRON)
Boomstick: IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!
Death Battle[]
It is a nice, peaceful day. Well, at least for New York City, that is. Until the sky suddenly turns gray and stormy. The power goes out. Citizens are running, panicking, and screaming in confusion. There is a flash in the sky. It looks almost like a demon. Then, The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man appears! Mr. Stay Puft lumbers down the street, swing his arms into the sides of buildings and stepping on cars and civilians. The police and milltary arrive, but are not much help. A few blocks away, the Theater explodes! Kong, with chains around his wrists, jumps out from the wreckage and lands on a sign, crushing it. He sniffs the air, then climbs ontop of a nearby building. Kong eyes Mr. Stay Puft. And Kong looks hangry.
FIGHT!
Kong beats his chest then jumps off the building and into Mr. Stay Puft, knocking him over. Mr. Stay Puft angrily shoves Kong off of him and gets back up. He punches Kong, who jumps out the way and smacks him with one of the chains around his wrists. Mr. Stay Puft steps back, then tackles Kong to the ground and starts clobbering him. When Mr. Stay Puft starts charging up a large punch, Kong rips off his hand and eats it! Totally enraged, Mr. Stay Puft gets up and starts jumping on Kong, breaking Kong's nose and jaw. Kong flails a chain again and knocks Mr. Stay Puft down, faceplanting. While Mr. Stay Puft is getting up, Kong jumps up onto the Empire State Building and starts climbing. After a few seconds Mr. Stay Puft gets up, sticks his stump arm into a conveniently placed truck full of marshmallows, regenerating his hand, and starts climbing, following Kong up the building. With his suprisingly great climbing skills, it is only a short amount of time till Mr. Stay Puft catches up with Kong. They throw punches at each other, both nearly falling off the building at some points. Men and women in the windows throw staplers mugs, and pens at both Kong and Mr. Stay Puft which proves to be an (minor) annoyance. Kong sticks his hand through a shattered window and grabs a person, throwing them at Mr. Stay Puft; who catches the person and throws them back to Kong, who catches them in his mouth and eats them. They continue climbing and continue fighting, Kong trying to knock Mr. Stay Puft off the building with his chains. They reach the top and start (carefully) walking around the small surface, throwing punches at each other. Planes fly in and start shooting at them. Kong grabs one of the planes and throws it at Mr. Stay Puft, impaling him. With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound, Mr. Stay Puft rips the plane out of his chest and whacks Kong over the head with it, knocking him backwards and sending him falling to his doom. Mr. Stay Puft drops the broken plane and beats his chest, mocking Kong.
KO!
Results[]
Boomstick: Dang! That was awesome! I didn’t see it coming. But it was awesome!
Wiz: While Kong had the speed and intelligence advantages, Stay Puft was just too heavy for Kong to handle. And being made of marshmallows certainly didn’t make Kong’s job any easier.
Boomstick: But wait... What about Kong's electric powers?
Wiz: While it is possible, it is highly unlikly that Kong would get struck by lightning to trigger them; and our job is to find the most probable victor.
Boomstck: Huh. It really is a demon.
Wiz: The winner is the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!