Kim Possible vs. Jake Long is a what-if Battle by Joshuafoote_14.
Interlude[]
Wizard: Here's an interesting fact about the two combatants. Both of them went up against Danny Phantom...and they both DIED!
Boomstick: I guess you could say they gave up the ghost.
Wizard: Shouldn't you save the one-liners for the end of the fight?
Boomstick: What? It's hilarious! I love them!
Wizard: Anyways, today's combatants are Kim Possible and Jake Long. And yes, both of them are Disney characters.
Boomstick: Didn't the author already make two Disney characters fight to the death?
Wizard: Yes, but those characters were VILLAINS. These characters are HEROES.
Boomstick: Not today, they're not! They're bloodthirsty monsters!
Wizard: You got that right. Let's analyze them.
Kim Possible[]
Wizard: Not only is Kim Possible a cheerleader and a high school student, she's also a crime fighter whose always saving the world.
Boomstick: How DOES she do it?
Wizard: Well, Boomstick, she happens to know about 11 styles of Kung fu.
Boomstick: You mean like that kung fu panda?
Wizard: Something like that. Kim Possible also has a variety of different gadgets.
Boomstick: Oh really?
Wizard: She wields a hair dryer that also doubles as a grappling hook. She also has lipstick that doubles as a laser.
Boomstick: I heard that she also has knockout gas!
Wizard: She certainly does.
Boomstick: Of course, if we didn't include her Super Suit, I bet the audience would be disappointed!
Wizard: Ah yes...since the supersuit was so powerful, it didn't receive much use in Season 4. So The Drama was intended to be the series finale.
Boomstick: The super suit gives her superhuman abilities, and can repair itself if it's damaged! It also hs a force field that she can use to protect herself from attacks, or send projectiles back at the attacker!
Wizard: Though she's technically a human being, she can dodge laser blasts and gunfire and even missiles.
Boomstick: She's also strong enough to go up against foes that have superhuman strength like Shego and Monkey Fist!
Wizard: She also swam through 500 feet of water without breaking a sweat. There was a man-eating shark and a deadly octopus in there too.
Boomstick: Have we said enough?
Wizard: Almost, as impressive as Kim Possible is, she also has her weaknesses. She has been captured by her foes before...and she also used to be boy crazy before she and Ron became an official couple.
Boomstick: Enough about Kim Possible! Time for Jake Long!
Jake Long[]
Wizard: Jake Long may look like a normal 13-year old boy, but he's actually a dragon.
Boomstick: The American Dragon!
Wizard: He sure is. Jake Long has superhuman strength and agility. And of course, he can also breathe fire.
Boomstick: What kind of dragon doesn't breathe fire?
Wizard: Well, Boomstick, some dragons can breathe ice, while others can breathe acid. Some can shoot lightning.
Boomstick: That's totally lame! I want to see Jake Long burn KP to a crisp!
Wizard: I'm rooting for Kim Possible. She's been on the air way longer than Jake Long has.
Boomstick: I'm still rooting for Jake!
Wizard: Though he's not nearly as strong in his human form as he is as a dragon, Jake is also an accomplished skateboarder.
Boomstick: He can freely shapeshift between those two forms!
Wizard: However, Jake Long has his weaknesses. He doesn't always take his responsibilities as a dragon seriously.
Boomstick: This got him into trouble with the Magic Council. For example, he decided to use his shape shifting powers for personal gain, which had consequences later.
Wizard: He can also clone himself...but it's not a really practical ability. He has to use his chi to create more clones, and the more he makes, the weaker he gets!
Boomstick: That's a serious handicap!
Wizard: His weakness to sphinx hair is also crippling.
Boomstick: It's dragon kryptonite!
Wizard: I think we've said enough about our two combatants.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Fight[]
Kim Possible was upset that she had lost to Danny Phantom. That Death Battle had not gone well for her at all.
At that very moment, a handsome boy stepped in. If it weren't for the fact that she and Ron were a couple, she would have liked him to be her boyfriend.
Likewise, Jake Long would have liked Kim Possible to be his girlfriend...but of course he already had a girlfriend of his own in Rose. Incidentally, she was a blonde like Ron was, though she was rather different in personality. She was actually an accomplished fighter like Kim was.
"He got you too, didn't he?" questioned Kim.
"Uh-huh! I wish I could win a Death Battle!" exclaimed Jake Long.
"Well, maybe you can fix that...if you beat me, you'll be a Death Battle winner...but of course, if I win, you'll be a Death Battle winner too!" shouted the cheerleader.
"Fine by me!" shouted the dragon.
FIGHT!
Immediately, Jake Long decided to dragon up.
"Dragon up!" shouted Jake Long.
Immediately, Jake Long attempted to make barbecue out of KP by breathing fire on her.
However, since Kim Possible had rather fast reflexes, she was able to avoid it easily.
"Dang! She's quick!" exclaimed Jake Long.
"You'd be surprised what cheerleading did for me..." stated Kim Possible.
"You think skateboarding has done me anything?" asked the boy.
"Well, I don't see how it's letting you transform into a dragon..." pointed out the cheerleader.
"Yeah...I don't think you can do that." nodded Jake Long.
"Unfortunately, no, but I'm not giving up!" exclaimed Kim Possible.
Jake Long began to fly up in the air, but Kim Possible used her grappling hook to force him back down.
"Hey! No flying away from our Death Battle!" shouted the cheerleader.
"But I need to pick up Haley from school!" complained Jake Long.
Jake Long attempted to swipe Kim Possible and take a bite out of her flesh, but she was simply too quick.
She decided to pull out her Kimmunicator.
"Is my super suit operational?" asked Kim to Wade.
"It sure is!" nodded the computer hacker.
"Good." said Kim.
Shortly afterwards, Kim was outfitted in her super suit.
"What is she up to?" inquired Jake Long.
Jake Long decided to launch fireballs at Kim.
He was about to find out.
As soon as the fireballs reached Kim Possible, Jake Long suddenly found the fireballs being tossed back at them.
"Ouch! That's hot!" exclaimed Jake.
"Tell it to Paris Hilton." remarked Kim Possible as she continued tossing Jake Long's own fireballs back at him.
Jake Long decided to give Kim Possible a helping of fire breath, but Kim Possible simply blocked it with his shield.
"Aw man!" exclaimed Jake Long. This fight was simply not going well for him. At least Kim Possible wasn't as strong as Danny Phantom was considering how that fight had turned out for her.
"I think it's time for a finishing move!" shouted Kim Possible.
"What finishing move is that?" asked the dragon.
Kim Possible pulled out some lipstick.
"You're going to kiss me?" inquired Jake Long.
"No way! I'm not cheating on Ron!" shouted Kim Possible.
"Then what does that lipstick do?" asked the dragon.
"You're about to find out!" answered Kim.
Kim Possible used her laser lipstick to melt Jake Long's face.
"Not my face! I love my beautiful face!" screamed Jake as he perished from having his face melted off.
"Sorry, Jake Long, but I'm the girl that can do anything, including slay a dragon!" exclaimed Kim Possible.
With Jake Long, it looked like Kim Possible was the victor.
"Now to wait for Wade to give me a sitch." said the cheerleader.
KO!
Aftermath[]
Jake Long: Congratulations on becoming a Death Battle winner!
Kim Possible: You're welcome. *shakes Jake Long's hand, who is now in human form*
Ron Stoppable cheered for KP while Spud and Trixie bawled.
Boomstick: Jake Long's a dragon! How did he lose?
Wizard: Though at first glance it seemed like Jake Long would be the obvious winner, what with him being able to transform into a fiery dragon compared with Kim Possible being a normal human being, Kim Possible had a variety of different advantages in her favor.
Boomstick: Like...what?
Wizard: Unfortunately for Jake Long, he's taken on foes like the Huntsman and the Huntsgirl before, and he's struggled to defeat them. Kim Possible is very similar to those opponents, and she's taken on superhuman foes before.
Boomstick: Oh, right.
Wizard: Without Jake Long's dragon form and Kim Possible's super suit played into factor, it was an obvious victory for Kim Possible. Kim Possible knew 11 styles of kung fu compared to Jake Long who typically spends his time skateboarding and dancing.
Boomstick: Since Kim Possible can dodge lasers and Shego's fireballs, it makes sense that she would able to avoid Jake Long's attacks!
Wizard: Her super suit was what really nailed it though. She would be able to summon a force field to protect herself from Jake Long's attacks, and even rebound Jake Long's own fireballs right back at him.
Boomstick: A taste of his own medicine, eh?
Wizard: Exactly. When you also factor in technology, Kim Possible had the clear advantage. She had many different gadgets that she could use against Jake Long, such as using knockout gas to knock him unconscious, or in this case, using laser lipstick to melt his face off.
Boomstick: That was awesome, right?
Wizard: Yes. And as while Jake Long gets mediocre grades at his school, Kim Possible is a straight A student. So basically she's smarter and could figure out how to beat Jake before he figured out how to beat her. So if they were going to prepare, it would probably take Kim Possible five minutes to get some sphinx hair and use it against Jake.
Boomstick: I guess Kim was an impossible opponent for Jake Long!
Wizard: The winner is Kim Possible.
