Killer Bee vs. the Scotsman

Killer Bee vs. the Scotsman
Season 1.5, Episode 19
Vital statistics
Air date	Unknown
Written by	Fractyl
Directed by	Fractyl
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Killer Bee vs. the Scotsman is a What-If? episode of Death Battle featuring Killer Bee from the Naruto series and The Scotsman from Samurai Jack.

Interlude

Wiz: It's good to have family. But sometimes you just need to get away from it all for life on the open road.

Boomstick: Such travelers include the rapping Killer Bee of the Land of Lightning.

Wiz: And the insulting Scotsman of the Highlands. I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick.

Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills and find out who would win a Death Battle?

Killer Bee

(Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm OST: The Tale of Killer Bee)

Killer Bee: Yo! Say! Ho! ♫ You know my name, you know my fame, don't be lame! Eight Tails, that's me, da rappin, Killer Bee ♫

[the sound abruptly ends to show the Hidden Cloud Village.]

Wiz: An aspiring rapper shinobi from the Village Hidden in the Clouds, Killer Bee is the adopted younger brother of the village's leader: The Fourth Raikage.

Boomstick: Are you sure that guy's a village chief. He's more like a pro wrestler.

Wiz: At the age of five, Bee became a jinchuriki: one of few human beings who become a vessel for the powerful tailed beasts. Bee's beast is Gyuki, the apparent result of a nightstand between a minotaur and a sea witch.

[Scene of Gyuki attacking Taka.]

Wiz: But unlike other Jinchuriki, Bee actually gets along with the Eight Tails and freely uses Gyuki's powers. As a result, this two-in-one duo are celebrities among the Hidden Cloud ninja.

Boomstick: And yet Bee's brother insisted that he stay in the village as to protect it while not allow to let Gyuki out. And both of those rules cramped Bee's rapping style. Good thing Sasuke and his posse give him an excuse.

[Scene of Killer Bee fighting Taka.]

Boomstick: In the end, Killer Bee ran off with his tails between his legs.

Wiz: Not all his tails, Bee ripped one of Gyuki's tails off and left it behind as a decoy to pull off a Tom Sawyer on friend and foe alike. Bee became the master of his own fate and intended to use his freedom to achieve his dream, or so he thought.

[Sound resumes as Killer Bee battles Kisame.]

Killer Bee: ♫ Now a Seven Swordsman, he's down right cocky. His name is Kisame Hoshigaki! Unlimited chakra's the claim of this shark. He grinds down lives like a walk in the park. But we'll see just who's your patriarch!♫

[Scene changes to Kisame getting the advantage in his Tailess Tailed Beast form.]

Boomstick: My money's on Jaws.

Wiz: Good thing big bro showed up at the nick of time.

[Scene of Killer Bee and Fourth Raikage double teaming Kisame with a decapitating lariat.]

Wiz: Soon after being captured by his brother, Bee became Naruto's mentor in learning to use his Jinchuriki powers.

[Scene of Killer Bee fighting Minato.]

Wiz: As a ninja, Killer B is an extremely powerful enough to single-handedly overwhelm three opponents at once. Even Minato Namikaze recognized Bee, without the Eight Tails, to be a formable opponent. He fighting style combines wrestling and swordsmanship with fast unpredictable movement. Furthermore, Killer Bee infuses his Lighting Style Chakra nature through his seven blades to increase their cutting power.

Boomstick: Killer Bee also has Kisame's sword Samehada, a sentient, scale-covered sword, that shaves flesh instead of cutting it and absorbs any chakra-based attack. Expressing its picky nature by stabbing anyone it doesn't like with spikes, Samehada prefers to be used by a user with a chakra it likes and will abandon its user for one with a more pleasurable chakra signature.

Wiz: Killer Bee's Jinchuriki status means he possesses a massive quantity of strong chakra and stamina that allows him to fight all day long, his training at the Fall of Truth enabling him and Gyuki to work together as equal partners. While Killer Bee can use Gyuki's power through utilizing ink in many ways, he can also imbue himself in the Eight Tails Cloak to greatly increase his strength. When push comes to shove, Killer Bee can go all out and tag a fully manifested Gyuki.

[Scenes of Gyuki fighting his fellow Tailed Beasts.]

Boomstick: Like any Tailed Beast, Gyuki can fire Tailed Beast Balls from his mouth. He can use create ink clouds and use his tentacle tails to create generate powerful tornadoes.

Wiz: While carefree, Killer Bee is sharp and very persuasive. He possess some empathic skills, able to interpret one's character while transmitting his own feelings through a fist bump.

[Seen of Killer Bee giving Naruto a fist bump.]

Wiz: Sure he is a show off, but Killer Bee's one ninja you want as both an ally and a means to pass the time.

Killer Bee: ♫ My vanquished foes do the dance of defeat. And we celebrate my win with these ice cold beats! Me and Eight-Tails, ain't nothin' gonna sever. It's win, win, win till the end forever!♫ YEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!

TALLY

• Attack Potency and speed: While normally able to destroy multiple city blocks, Killer Bee can tap into the Island destroying Gyuki's power to trash towns. Killer Bee and Gyuki can both move and react at massively hypersonic speeds.
• Strength: A physical blow from Killer Bee is strong enough to damage a few city blocks, augmented by Gyuki's chakra with enough force to level a town. Able to lift a small pyramid, Gyuki is strong enough to damage a large island.
• Durability: Bee's Jinchuriki's status allows him to resist damage short of town-destroying proportions while Gyuki can resist any attack that can sink an island.
• Stamina: Very high due to Gyuki's chakra
• Range: Around 1 kilometer, longer with Tailed Beast Bombs
• Intelligence: Thinking on his feet in the face of death, he can deduce his enemy's plan of attack and counter.
• Standard Equipment: 7 Supervibrato Lightning Blades, his notebook and writing pencil, and Samehada.
• Rank: Superhuman (8-A), Nuke (7-C) in Jinchuriki form. Gyuki is rated as a Terraformer (High 6-C)

Scotsman

Boomstick: Long ago...Aku...reign of terror...samurai...magic sword...We all know the story of Samurai Jack, how he can sucked into a time portal and got hurtled into a dystopian future.

Wiz: And during a 50 year-long journey back to his time to avert an Aku-ruled Earth, the samurai meets friend and foe alike. One in particular is the Scotsman.

[Scene of Jack on a giant rope bridge as hears bagpipe music before seeing the Scotsman approaching him from the other side of the bridge. The Scotsman, finally noticing Jack, stops playing.]

Scotsman: By the look on your face I can tell you like the pipes, wee laddie.

Wiz: But the first meeting between the two, despite Jack's attempt to be civil, went downhill when the Scotsman misunderstood Jack's words to be insults and correctly, yet non-sensibly, insulted the samurai back. One thing led to another and-

Scotsman (after tossing his destroyed bagpipes over the bridge): I'll turn your head into a floor shifter!

Wiz: The fight lasted almost an entire day with neither getting an edge on the other.

[The scene changes to the following day, both combatants utterly exhausted.]

Scotsman: Are ye ready to give up yet?

Jack: I am not defeated, and I will hold my ground.

Scotsman: Hold your ground? Ye can barely stand, let alone hold your sword.

Jack: Then come get me.

Scotsman: Wha-? I...

[Swamp dwelling bounty hunters appear with one of them chaining Jack and the Scotsman together.]

Boomstick: But when bounty hunters show up, learning he is public enemy #2 compared to Jack, the Scotsman swallowed his pride to help Jack and developed a respect for the samurai.

[Scene changes to after the fight against the bounty hunters ends.]

Scotsman: No hard feelings, aye? I'll buy you a refreshment.

Jack: Please, allow me. I shall buy you a refreshment.

Scotsman: No, no, I'll buy you one. I insist.

Jack: No, I must buy you one, to make amends.

Scotsman: It's all right. I'll buy.

Jack: No, I will buy.

Scotsman: I'll buy.

[Scene zooms out to reveal the destroyed small town while two continue arguing over who buys drinks.]

Wiz: Since then, the Scotsman became one of Jack's reoccurring allies, first vouching for him when he brings the samurai to ancestoral home in Scotland to help him save his wife from the Celtic Master of the Hunt. He even helps Jack regain his memories after being mind-wiped by sirens, whose music had no effect on the Scotsman.

Scotsman (as the Sirens continued singing): Yer all tone-deaf! A banshee can carry a tune at least! The sound of breakin' glass has more rhythm! I've heard pigs squeal better'n you!

Boomstick: That's because the Scotsman's definition of beauty is drastically different compared to others, as seen with his wife who bore him 28 daughters.

[Jack is caught off guard by seeing the Scotsman's wife, having expected her to be a vision of beauty the way the lovelorn Scotsman had describe her prior.]

Wiz: She is more abrasive than her husband. But for the love of all things, you better not insult her weight.

[Scene of Jack and the Scotsman at the castle doorway after saving the Scotsman's Wife from the Celtic Demons.]

Jack: Seems we must find an alternate way out.

Scotsman: Why?

Jack: The door is so very small and your wife is so very...'

Scotsman's Wife: What?

Scotsman: Run!

[Jack runs for his life as the Scotsman's Wife bursts through the doorway after him while yelling out a battle cry, causing the entire castle to collapse with the Scotsman standing in the rubble.]

Scotsman: Don't squash him, muffin. He's a friend of mine!

Boomstick: But despite their friendship, the Scotsman does have a competitive streak when it comes to outdoing Jack. Sadly, having learned new skills between their encounters, Jack knocked him down several pegs.

[Scene of Jack, after winning a series of contests, rowing an upset Scotsman across the sea back to mainland. Scene changes to a clip show of the Scotsman's numerous battles.]

Wiz: The Scotsman's preferred weapon of choice is a claymore, imbued with celtic runes that give it supernatural powers that include being nearly indestructible. The Scotsman also has a pegleg that double as a gun, also using powerful ship-sinking hand grenades that he keeps in the pouch on his kilt.

[Scene of the Scotsman fighting at a Heckbucket Seaport tavern.]

Wiz: In terms of his personality, the Scotsman is impulsive and loves a good fight, both of which can get him into trouble. But he has his moments, especially when he faced Aku as the his final act in his life.

Boomstick: Win or lose, regardless of age, the Scotsman gets props for being the best trash talker in a fight.

Scotsman (to Samurai Jack): What do ya think o' that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril Jessie, Oaf-looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh Vile-Stoochie, Cully-Breek Tattie?

TALLY

• Attack Potency and speed: Able to ravage a town, the Scotsman can move at Relativistic+ speeds.
• Strength: Able to lift the likes of a blue whale when push comes to shove, the Scotsman is strong enough to damage a town.
• Durability: The Scotsman can resist damage short of town-destroying proportions when push comes to shove.
• Stamina: Very high.
• Range: Extended melee range, tens of meters with peg leg.
• Intelligence: Average, though well skilled with swords.
• Standard Equipment: Rune-inscribed claymore, Peg-leg rifle, grenade
• Rank: Nuke (7-C)

Pre Fight

Boomstick: We have analyzed the stats of our fighters.

Wiz: Going by Bee's Jinchuriki status, he and the Scotsman are evenly matched in Attack Potency and Durability. But while Killer Bee has the edge in range and intelligence, the Scotsman has the advantage in physical strength and speed. But considering Gyuki, as Tailed Beasts are in the same league as Aku, and the Scotsman being himself, anything can happen in this Death Battle. And now that the combatants are set....

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

DEATH BATTLE

The scene opens to mist-covered area as a screeching bagpipe rendition of Scotland the Brave is heard piercing through the thick fog as a silhouette of a large man is seen. One foot stomp down on the ground while a metallic one followed, revealed to be a burly man in his 40s with fiery orange hair tied into a pony tail and a wild beard. Bags in his eyes, contrasted in liveliness by the powerful claymore sword sheathed over his shoulder. Both the bagpipes and his kilt signify him as the Scotsman.

The Scotsman continues playing until he hears a voice in the mist. "♫ Always win with a grin, 'cause I got the funky flow! (Yow!) Take you down, to the ground, with a punishing blow! (Yeah!) ♫" "Sounds like a cat getting stepped on!" Within moments, the Scotsman sees a dark-skinned muscular Hidden Cloud ninja two feet shorter then him approaching, unware of the other figure as he was writing in his notebook while walking. "♫ A Tailed Beast resides, in my hide! Step aside and prepare to be petrified ♫ Cause it's hard out there for a Jinchuriki When you're fightin' and recitin' and your rhymes are freaky- ♫" The figure stops once noticing the Scotsman when they are a foot apart. Eyeing the white-haired sunglasses-wearing figure, the Scotsman noticed the "tetsu" tattoo on figure's right shoulder. He also noticed three swords on the ninja's back, one being a large scaly sword covered in bandages while the other two are smaller blades similar to one belonging to a guy in granny jammies the Scotsman knows of.

"Who are you suppose to be?," the Scotsman said. "♫ Ya need to ask who's me? Ya never heard of Killer Bee!? ♫" "Never heard of ya," the Scotsman returned with a raised eyebrow. "And what's with that racket? I've heard pigs squeal better'n you!" "No one disses my skills, fool! Maybe I should take ya back to school!" The Scotsman grins. “Those are some bolds words for a spoony spar! I bet ya couldn’t scare a new born kitten with those wee tooth picks on your back!" the Scotsman loudly sneered while crudely drawing out his claymore, its metal glistening in the sunlight. "Now THIS is a sword," he said while hold it threateningly close to Killer Bee’s face. "What do ya say to that you-" Before the Scotsman can finished, Bee spat a glob of ink in the Scotsman's face and whipped out one of his Super Vibrato Lightning Blades and landed a hit as the larger man wipes the ink off his face.

"I rather not hear your mouthful," Bee started as the Scotsman realizes his bagpipes have been damaged. "I already find taste in music that awful." A few seconds passed as pure rage boiled in the Scotsman’s gut. "Oh. You've done it now," the Scotsman seethed as he throws his Bagpipes to the side before grabbing his sword with both hands to strike Killer Bee down. But the Scotsman finding himself cutting an ink clone, the real Killer Bee having used a substitute jutsu to attack from behind with a Super Vibrato Lightning Blade. But the Scotsman quickly blocked, sparks literally flying before both combatants jump back as Killer Bee draws out Samehada while the living weapon rips the bandages off. Samahada opens up, releasing five more Super Vibrato Lightning Blades that Bee catches with his body in an impressive display of skill while drawing the seventh after stabbing Samehada to the ground.

The Scotsman laughs seeing the strange fighting stance the ninja assumed while catching the five blades: one between his right shoulder blade and neck, one under his left arm pit, two held by his raised right leg and hip, and two held by his elbows.

[Afro Samurai Video Game OST - Can You Top That]

"♫Ya think you've got class?," Killer trash talked while throwing the last blade into the air. "Well Killer Bee's about to kick your big, fat as-♫," Killer Bee grabs the last blade in his mouth and completes his Arcobat stance as the Scotsman charges. "When I'm done with you, I'll plaster the countryside with your guts and use what's left for haggis!"

FIGHT

Killer Bee quickly charges his swords with lightning chakra while spinning forward, causing the blades to vibrate at high-speeds and turning their owner into a living buzz saw. The Scotsman hobbles forward with his claymore, as Killer Bee's blades make their mark via his hip-hop dancing. "No bad at all," the Scotsman said with a grin as he head-butted an astonished Killer Bee back. "Aye, you got a lot of pep." "♫ My Super Vibrato Blades can cut through everything. How come your sword not be breaking? ♫" "Magic runes, laddie!", the Scotsman states. "All them fancy moves will get you nowhere. Now, quit dancing and fight like a real man!" With that, the Scotsman lands a few blows that crack some Killer Bee's Super Vibrato Blades as he uses them as throwing weapons. The Scotsman avoids the broken blades as Killer Bee pulls Samehada up from the ground as its scales extend like spikes. "I can keep this up for hours. Plus mine's bigger yours!"

"Shut it!," the upset Scotsman retorted as he charges. Killer Bee swings Samehada as its hilt extends with the weapon stretching out like a snake towards the Scotsman with a wide-open fanged mouth. The Scotsman manages to block it, but left himself open to be stabbed with a chakra-enhanced kunai. Killer Bee then launches a combo of dance style kicks and slashes with a few of his Super Vibrato Blades and then with Samehada before knocking the Scotsman through some trees across a few yards into ruins as the fog lifts.

Leaping after the Scotsman, Killer Bee looks around until he notices a grenade lobbed at his feet before it explodes. But the Killer Bee that got blown up is another Ink Clone as the real one emerges from the ink cloud and knocks the Scotsman with a connecting and electrified Rising Bomber clothesliner. The Scotsman is knocked a few steps, but he is still standing. "HA! Is that the best you go-?" The Scotsman finds his body bound with tentacles extending from Killer Bee's body as he sees the ninja leaping towards him with an enlarged arm to right hook his head off with his Octopus Hug technique. But the Scotsman uses his claymore to cut his way free while grabbing Killer Bee's enlarged arm. "Never arm wrestle a Scotsman!," he yelled as he throws Killer Bee to the ground.

[Naruto Shippuden OST - Jinchuuriki]

"I'm done playing with you! It's time for Version Two! YEAAA!" An energy sphere erupts from Killer Bee's body before it exploded outwards with red chakra and five tails bursting out. Knocked back by the shockwave, the Scotsman sees Killer Bee in his Version 2 Jinchuriki form. The Scotsman kicks up his machine gun peg leg to fire a barrage of bullets at Killer Bee. But the cloak protects Killer Bee as he makes a mad dash towards his red-hair opponent, a giant bull skull forming on his shoulder to take out his opponent with a vicious clothesline. But the Scotsman charges as well, dodging the skull while landing a powerful punch to Bee's face that sends the Jinchuriki flying back and smashing into a stone wall.

"I'm not done with you yet, ya ox-faced ogre?," the Scotsman yelled as Killer Bee gets up. Killer finds his notebook in tatters and his shades cracked, deciding enough is enough. "Messed with my book, you best be running mook! A Tailed Beast resides, in my hide..." Killer Bee started as his body emits chakra while tentacles erupt from his body. "Step aside and prepare to be petrified..." "Wha-?," the Scotsman said as he sees a giant minotaur-like monster with eight waving tentacles in place of legs where Killer Bee stood.

[Naruto Shippuden OST: Sunspot]

"Now I'm gonna go berserk! So listen to the fist, ya jerk!"," Killer Bee's voice is heard from Gyuki as the Tailed Beast proceeds to attack the Scotsman with a barrage of fists and tail swipes. But the Scotsman manages to dodge while he chops at the tentacles, only to find them growing back within minutes. Gyuki roars as he twists his healed tentacles, becoming a giant tornado to knock the Scotsman into the air. With the Scotsman unable to move out of the way, Gyuki charges a Tailed Beast Bomb that he fires as the smaller opponent. The energy sphere unleashes a massive explosion, residing as Gyuki dissipates with Killer Bee seeing the damaged sword of the Scotsman. He picks it up while rapping, "♫ That fool be doing the dance of defeat, while celebrate my win with these ice cold beats! ♫"

KO

Results

Boomstick: Truly a one-sided Epic Rap Battle there!

Wiz: By all rights, the Scotsman would have the edge against Killer Bee on his own regardless of his arsenal. But Killer Bee's Jinchuriki status ultimately plays in his favor since Tailed Beasts are around Aku's level of power. In the end, the Scotsman was only human and he eventually had to-

[Scene of Aku vaporizing the elderly Scotsman to his daughters' horrified shock.]

Wiz: Yeah. That.

Boomstick: Scotsman got serve-

[Scene of the Scotsman's ghost emerging from the ashes.]

Scotsman's Spirit: Ha ha ha! I be back! And in me prime no less!

Boomstick: WHAT THE *BLEEP*!?

Wiz: Apparently, the Scotsman's sword is able to keep him on the mortal coil. Forgot to mention that. But since he got killed, Killer Bee's the winner by default.

Boombstick: And Bee's got himself a new traveling companion, who will not shut up. I bet he'll be wishing Scottie beamed him up soon enough.