| Bildren | |
|---|---|
| Season | 4 |
| Season Episode | 5 |
| Air date | 06-21-2022 |
| Written by | Cider621 |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous Tails VS Batman |
Next Eevee VS Michiru |
Description[]
Connections[]
- Children
- Horrifically mauled people
- Have used equipment and intelligence to take on larger foes
- Were left pretty much all alone in big areas
- The people they mauled by all means should be dead
Rules[]
General[]
- Takes place in Freddy Fazbear’s Mega Pizzaplex
Kevin[]
- Gets to use the environment
- Within reason given the location
Gregory[]
- Does not get a physical Freddy
Intro[]
It has been said that children have no filter
But what happens when you extend that lack of filter from their mouths to how they handle threats
You get children who can and will attempt to maim you
Kevin McCallister, the boy left Home Alone
And Gregory, the lost boy of Freddy's Pizzaplex
He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick
And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Kevin[]
Most people wouldn't assume much of young Kevin McCallister
Yeah, as the French would say he's "less incomplete"
You mean "Les Incompétents"?
What? That's what I said
...Nevermind, anyway a set of unlikely and coincidental mishaps happened to leave Kevin stranded, home alone
And the little shit was excited, thinking he had erased his equally shitty family from existence
Pop-up: Kevin does not have existence erasure
And this wasn't the only time, it happened again
And again. Wait- it's not even just Kevin it also happened to at least 4 other kids in this world
Well the 3rd time it happened it wasn't really him being stranded just him being LEFT alone
Pop-up: Home Alone 4 sucks
Either way; every time Kevin is alone ,as a kid, people always end up trying to steal shit around him and they end up regretting it
The usual two to receive his wrath are thieves Harry and Marv
You mean the Wet Bandits?
Ugh...
Starting with his casual equipment he could use in a pinch, like his brothers BB gun
This BB gun is likely a Model 25 Pump Gun or close to one
Oh I got this Wiz, this gun uses 4.5mm BB's with a firing speed of 238.6 miles per hour for up to 195 yards; Kevin was likely using Steel BB's as well. These are easily able to break skin and even pierce weaker bones
He also has a blow torch, which can heat up to 2,000 °F
And he also has a pair of gardening shears, also as we'll see later he's pretty smart with traps but he's also smart enough to know that sometimes a simple brick will do
"Harry: Ok kid, give it to me"
"Kevin: *throws brick*
"*Marv is hit with brick*"
"Kevin: Direct Hit!"
Given how hard the brick would've hit him and considering Kevin threw 4, by all means his brain should've splattered everywhere
His Staple gun fires hard enough to embed into the skull
That's not even that bad of his tricks; with just Home Alone 1 and 2, including the bricks, his victims Harry and Marv should've died 7 times from them
Pop-up: The number of times they should've died is actually 8 but the 8th one was not of Kevin's doing
In one of Kevin's tricks he sent Harry falling and crushing a car!
Given how Harry landed and the damage dealt to the car itself he had to have landed the car with over 31.2 kilojoules of force
His best traps involves heating up a doorknob with a heat ring
Tying up a paint can or a big ass pipe and throwing them at the person going up stairs
He also can make a make-shift seesaw which he used to launch Harry
Given the complexity or physics he would have to be pretty intelligent, he'd need at least be at an 11th grade level of intelligence to pull stuff like this off
Makes sense he outsmarts those thieves considering the smarter one didn't even make it to 6th grade
Another surprising thing, that Harry and Marv most likely aren't the outliers
What?
Think about it, Kevin nor ANYONE questions Harry and Marv's lack of severe injury, perhaps humans in this world are simply more durable
But Wiz, only those thieves had that power
On the contrary, in Home Alone 3 when Alex had set a trap which put a North Korean terrorists head into a lawn mower and only his hair was cut
What the hell was not Kevin doing to them?
Or another trap in which one was shot?
Home Alone 3 is wild
That's not even all, there were 9 others that survived traps set by Kevin and Not Kevin
Pop-up: While Kevin, being a child, doesn't scale completely to the thieves' durability it shouldn't be ignored
After losing them twice, Kevin learned to cherish his family for Christmas
| “ | I made my family disappear. | „ |
Gregory[]
Har, har-har, har, har, har-har, har, har-har. Har, har, har-har, har, har, har-har
Wh-what the hell are you doing?
Five Nights at Freddyyyyy's
Shut up
Ok.
The Freddy Fazbear’s Mega Pizzaplex the greatest Freddy's Place ever
After their 50 billionth time going out of business, Fazbear Entertainment made the ultimate pizza place, seriously this place would be awesome as a kid
But for one kid this place was a place of horror, because it's a horror series, and his name was Gregory
Gregoryyy-?
We don't know his last name
Why?
Trust me, this is the least confusing thing in Five Nights
Well, alright
Gregory was trapped in the Pizza Plex for 6 hours followed by killer animatronics
And a furry!
Well, I guess you COULD call her that
He was able to outsmart those very clearly sentient animatronics
When spotted Gregory could outrun the Glamrock Animatronics, albeit not for long, in order to do this he must be running at; at least 27.8 mph
He can plan out ways to smash nearly every animatronic
Over the course of his night he was able to find and use messages and items to trick Glamrock Chica into a hydraulic press
And somehow kick her beak off
Given how durable the Glamrocks that kick could be worth up to 540.7 joules
It isn't just the Glamrocks, humans in the Five Nights Universe seem to be tough, like when Michael Afton survived ALL OF HIS INNARDS BEING SCOOPED OUT
Or how William Afton seems to always comeback, speaking of him in essentially a battle of quick wit Gregory managed to outsmart William
Isn't Peepaw Willy basically an evil mastermind that was able to avoid capture as a giant walking rabbit for years?
Yes
Pop-up: While Gregory is not as intelligent as William, in their battle Gregory showed he could react to William's actions better than the other way around
Gregory also possesses a Faz-watch giving him access to the Pizza Plex's security cameras and a map to it
He can also enter missions into it as well as talk to Glammy Freddy
The Faz-cam and Fazer..blaster- is everything in this place named after Freddy?
What's wrong with having everything named after you? That's what Mama Boomstick and Grandpappy Boomstick would say.
Uh- nevermind- a-anyway the Faz-cam and Fazerblaster are able to cause temporary...or very permanent blindness if shot directly into the eyes
He also knows what a fountain is
Yes- he does-
| “ | That is a fountain. A fountain is a decorative reservoir used for discharging water. | „ |
| ~ Freddy |
Pre-Battle[]
Alright, with the combatants all set and the data run through all possibilities, let's end this debate once and for all
It's time for a Death battle!
Battle[]
In Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzaplex
Monty: Hey, Little Guy He jumps to the hiding spot where he thinks Gregory is hiding and opens it, only finding a generator from the Daycare has been put there What the? He doesn’t notice the gasoline from the generator makes a path
Kevin: Uses a match he found to quickly set the trail ablaze and the generator explodes
Monty: Flops back after being handled
Kevin: Yes! He crawls out of hiding
…
Gregory: Elsewhere What was that?
Freddy: From the watch “It was near the Daycare i’ve marked the location on your Fazmap”
Gregory runs there and notices Kevin
Gregory: Hey! Who the heck are you?
Kevin: He gasps and turns to see him Were you left alone too?
“Gregory, I am unsure who he is but he’s the one who caused the explosion, be careful”
Monty: Rolls over to his chest still functional as he sneaks up on the 2 boys
Gregory: Looks at the ground backing up some
Kevin notices Gregory’s eyes shifting as he suddenly realizes what’s behind him and dives away before Monty jumps at him
Gregory shoots the fazerblast at Monty to stun him before his knee is shot by a BB
Gregory: Ow! He checks his knee, bleeding but his knee itself is fine he starts to run before Monty starts chasing again seeing Kevin used this time to get a head-start
Kevin: He dashes behind a corner noticing a chord he sets it up as a tripwire getting his blowtorch out and setting it to go off
When Gregory turns the corner he trips noticing the blowtorch nearly about to burn his head he crawls away before Monty comes crawling over and getting his entire face burnt
Gregory eventually tackles Kevin and bonks him with the flashlight to slow him down before getting up to keep running from Monty
Monty with a burning face crawls over as Kevin hurls a brick he had at his face finally breaking him
Gregory: Running and looks back noticing Kevin nor Monty are behind him as he enters the Atrium as he looks back forward he slams into into tailed rump and back up holding his nose
Roxy: She stands and turns There you are. She notices Kevin …Another? She’s suddenly flashes by the camera Agh!
Gregory and Kevin run the former outspeeding the latter as they try to get away from Roxy, Kevin following Gregory to get a better idea of the layout with Roxy quickly approaching Gregory let alone Kevin
Kevin turn with his stable gun and fires it at Roxy, it dinks off but still leaves a noticeable mark
Roxy: Furious, not only because Kevin thought that would work but also her casing was slightly damaged Grah! What’s wrong with yo- She’s stunned by a Fazerblast
Gregory turns to keep running thinking that aside from the blast, Kevin would slow her down, he hides in an employee only area
Chica: Lost boy over heeere
Gregory:...Extremely frustrated sigh he fires the fazerblast at her and runs back out to see if Roxy is gone instead he finds gardening shears in her torso pinning her to the wall
Roxy: What’re you looking at…little coward…
Gregory: Is this kid some kind of psycho?!
“Gregory come to my room immediately. This other boy is extremely unsafe”
Kevin: He snuck up holding a monkey wrench he found
Gregory: Checks the cameras to see Kevin Woah!
Gregory turns defending himself with his flashlight, they start swinging their weapons at each other, Gregory taking the upper hand in but Kevin tanking the hits, before their vision starts glitching
Vanny: Are you two having fun yet? She says about to grab them
Kevin swings his weapon into Vanny’s knee breaking it as she falls
The two start fighting again flashlight and monkey wrench, the lights go out
Gregory: Oh no
Moon: Bad children must be punished.
Gregory runs and hides as Moon pursues Kevin running away to do some tomfoolery
As Moon looks for Gregory, Kevin looks for Chica and gets her to pursue him to a table near Gregory and Moon
Kevin: Hey!
Moon and Gregory look over as Kevin dives off the top of a table as Chica had jumped for him and only a big plank of wood landing on it completely flipping the table to flatten Moon and Gregory
The animatronic crushed was fine, unfortunately the human way fine as Kevin had slunk away to systematically neutralize the other robots
KO
Results[]
Well, that was unique
Gregory held some very important advantages, those being, strength and speed
Unfortunately for him the advantages Kevin held were enough
For one, intelligence, at best Gregory tied Kevin in terms of this
Kevin is also durable enough to not even have to worry about the pursuing animatronics let alone Gregory himself
He also had a better arsenal that could, be lethal
So really, Gregory basically had no shot?
Yes, I guess
So, looks like Kevin sent Gregory to Heaven Alone
The Winner is Kevin McAllister
Battle Track[]
Next Time[]
Next Time on Deathbattle
(Video version soon)
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