Kaos VS Bowser | |
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Season 1, Episode 1 | |
Vital statistics
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Air date | January 21, 2015 |
Written by | AdamGregory03 |
Directed by | None |
Episode guide
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Previous | Next |
N/A | Garfield vs. Snoopy |
Kaos vs. Bowser is the second episode of AdamGregory03's fanon Death Battles. The episode was posted on deviantArt on January 17, 2015.
Description[]
Episode 2: Kaos vs. Bowser. A battle between two of the biggest bads in gaming. Who's the superior villain?
Interlude[]
Wizard: "What would a great adventure be without a great villain to fight at the very end of it?"
Boomstick: "I could name off a few things. Like easier."
Wizard: "Today, we bring to you two big bads of two very different worlds and heroes. Kaos, the last Dark Portal Master."
Boomstick: "And Bowser, king of the Koopas. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick."
Wizard: "And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle."
Kaos[]
Wizard: "In the magic-based world of Skylands, a race of beings known as the Portal Masters reigned supreme. Basically these were gods of this world."
Boomstick: "Eventually there were only two left after the other Portal Masters died from... whatever... Being Eon, the head of the extremely marketable Skylanders, and the other being Kaos. The head of... Elmer Fudd look-alikes?"
Wizard: "Boomstick, come on now, he's... he DOES look like Elmer Fudd. If he was goth, maybe..."
Kaos: There are people who just want to be bad. And there are those who are BORN to be EVIL!
Wizard: "Well, anyway, Kaos has always been a major villain since he was young. Growing up with much handsomer siblings, apparently losing a royal name, and putting up with an overbearing mother, it's no surprise that Kaos may not have turned out the best as an adult."
Boomstick: "If you can even call him that. The guy is pretty messed up in the origin department. He's supposedly been evil right out of the womb, with him trying to lead a..." (cracking up) "evil baby army of evil drool? Oh, this is gonna be a weird one, ain't it? ...And even getting expelled from a school that's meant for evil guys after..." (cracking up again) "EATING THE GYM? What were they smoking when they came up with this shit?"
Wizard: "Okay, calm down there, Boom."
Boomstick: "All right, I'm good."
Wizard: "Like all Portal Masters, Kaos wields a variety of magic abilities. Aside from casting simple energy projectiles, he also has a spell for each of the eight main elements in Skylands. With the Magic spell, he can rewind time, though it only appears to be useful after he was locked up in Traptanium-"
Boomstick: "And my forks are only useful on steak-tanium. See? I can do it too!"
Wizard: "...in which villains have limited time anyway. His Life spell slows down enemies and deals damage overtime, and he can use spells of the Water, Fire, and Earth elements to create natural disasters."
Boomstick: "He can leave his enemies vulnerable in the air with the... er... Air spell. And then there's the two best ones: Tech and Undead. What do THOSE spells do? Create EXPLOSIONS! Does have a tendency to spam the Undead one though."
Wizard: "Also, any enemies that are defeated by the Undead spell attack any nearby foes one last time as a spirit before departing."
Boomstick: "And if all that's not enough, he can summon a wave of his, quote, 'Doom Sharks', which make his opponents need a bigger boat. And he can also transform into a giant head... that shoots lasers... 'cause why not, I guess."
Wizard: "That... just looks kind of silly."
Kaos: EH? My head is AWESOME, I tell you! FEAR IT! FEAR MY GIANT, FLOATING HEAD!
Glumshanks: See? I told you the head isn't scary enough.
Wizard: "And no Portal Master would be complete without the ability to summon his army."
Boomstick: "Yep, we're breaking our no outside help rule just to bring you another army vs. army showdown! Lucky you! Anyway, while that Gandalf guy has his extremely marketable Skylanders, Kaos' army consists mainly of mace-wielding Troll Warriors and rodent-like creatures called Greebles that either use cannons, or are really stupid and just use pointy sticks."
Wizard: "Another handy member are the Broccoli Guys, which can create magical patches to heal their allies."
Boomstick: "Just keep them away from melted cheese. Drow are also a common creature that appear by him. These range from simple spear-wielders, to witches that... just throw boomerangs and don't really do anything witch-related... and the Goliath Drows, which hit like tanks and take hits like 'em!"
Wizard: "Kaos also has a tendency to to super-charge himself up for a final battle. He's become a giant robot and a... giant... purple... man... but neither of these forms have come close to as powerful as when he absorbed the magic energy found in Traptanium."
Boomstick: (Quickly) "Spoilers for guys who haven't played Trap Team! This is the guy's most powerful form to date. Sure makes for one DAMN ANNOYING boss fight."
Wizard: "Here, his manipulation over dark magic is even more deadly. He is able to create energy columns and shockwaves, and can also attack using bullets that also correspong with the elements of Skylands."
Boomstick: "Which can actually heal whoever he's fighting if they're the same element. This is why magic attacks should be checked over by an attorney first."
Wizard: "His... Doom Sharks... also become larger and are much more threatening, and he even gains a pair of Traptanium weapons himself. He also doesn't seem to be easily hurt in this form."
Boomstick: "All it took was an entire army to take him down! And a crystal creepily shaped like his head."
Wizard: "While never truly succeeding, Kaos has come very close to conquering the magical world of Skylands. In fact, he even was somewhat in charge after his plan to destroy the world's Core of Light, which was successful. Even after experiencing a taste of his own medicine, also being responsible for the Skylanders in their toy states, he managed to break out of it."
Boomstick: "He also found the lost city of Arkus and controlled it's iron fist. Y'know, that giant robot thing Wiz mentioned earlier. With all this, Kaos would be a real threat. If he wasn't such a fucking IDIOT."
Wizard: "Well... yeah, Kaos' I.Q. definitely appears to be rather low. He's failed at taking over Skylands two hundred times, despite only making one hundred and forty attempts."
Boomstick: "WHAT? How the-? You have to TRY to be THAT stupid!"
Wizard: "Accompanied by his arrogance, this can lead to his greatest downfall."
Boomstick: "And despite being an all-powerful Portal Master of darkness or whatever, he sometimes gets the short end of the stick from other bad guys. Like his own mother. Or the Golden Queen. ...Though considering the timeline of that game, she's probably wishing she let him win. Yeah, just hide in your crystal, bitch."
Wizard: "Still, Kaos is certainetly not to be underestimated. He wants nothing more than complete subjection, and is willing to do anything to get it."
The scene from the Spyro's Adventure trailer where Kaos laughs evily, then coughs, then sips on apple juice.
Bowser[]
Wizard: "For as long as anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom can remember, the Koopa Army has been known as the kingdom's relentless attackers."
Boomstick: "As well as popular atendees to go-karting and sports... for some reason. Maybe I should try invading a country. Seems to get them invited to a lot of parties!"
Wizard: "Don't. At the head of the entire army however is the feared and respected king, Bowser Koopa. While not much is known about his origins, what is known about him is that he is ruthless and determined to do anything to win. Especially if kidnapping the princess Peach is involved."
Boomstick: "Like, every single time. And I'm not sayin' it IS Peach, though that is likely, but he has to be stickin' his scaley dick into someone. I mean, the guy's got EIGHT fire-breathing hellspawns to take care of! ...Kinda like that reality show."
Wizard: "Standing tall and proud, Bowser is a fire-breathing powerhouse. His true raw power is his most impressive feature."
Boomstick: "The guy lifted a whole FUCKING castle off of him. And he wasn't even scratched by it! He can also go toe-to-toe with with other Nintendo powerhouses such as Donkey Kong and even the king of evil himself, Ganondorf."
Wizard: "He's also not easy to take out. Not only can he survive being dropped into boiling lava,-"
Boomstick: "And yet can somehow be hurt by tiny fireballs."
Wizard: "-his shell adds to his defense even further. It can withstand someone of his own weight attempting to crush him, and is covered in multiple spikes to damage the attacker. If he needs to, he can duck into his shell for protection."
Boomstick: "And despite being weighing well over a thousand pounds, the guy's got some seriously good jumping skill! I dare say he could win a gold medal! ...Oh wait, he did. And like every good king, he's got an army willing to do whatever he says! ...Unless they wanna get hurt. Bowser's army consists of Goombas and Koopa Troopas, which we've already gone over. So if you need an analysis on them, then just go and watch a REAL Death Battle episode."
Wizard: "There are also the Hammer Bros., which are pretty much as their names imply. All they do is just throw a seemingly endless supply of hammers. Also working for him are the Lakitus, which are apparently light enough to sit in clouds."
Boomstick: "And as adorable as they are, they've got a supply of eggs in their clouds that hatch upon landing into Spinies, with spikey shells that can prevent physical damage."
Wizard: "The Magikoopas are wand-wielding Koopas that seem to primarily cast one spell."
Boomstick: "Too bad he can't bring his army to the Smash Bros. tournaments. But I guess he's got something that more than makes up for it. All it takes is a Smash Ball and boom! Instant Godzilla monster."
Wizard: "The Giga Bowser form makes Bowser a MUCH bigger threat. He not only increases in size and power, but he gains a much more brutal frame of mind that only knows violence and destruction."
Boomstick: "Like my old dog I ironically named Lassie."
Wizard: "In this form, Bowser also gains additional elemental powers, with some of his attacks gaining dark effects, as well as having a small form of cryoginesis."
Boomstick: "It's enough to make any of his opponents say 'OH CRAP'. While he can only keep this form for a few seconds, that's all he needs to destroy his enemies! And that's the least he can do."
Boomstick: "He mostly kidnaps Peach, sure, but also took over a ton of galaxies. At once!"
Wizard: "He's managed to defeat his own dark counterpart, and one time even avoided the grip of death by becoming Dry Bowser."
Boomstick: "This turtle is just that much of a terror!"
Cuts to the Shulk reveal trailer where Bowser gets distracted by a butterfly.
Boomstick: "...Okay."
Wizard: "Yeah, Bowser isn't exactly an evil genius. In fact, back to the kidnapping thing Boomstick mentioned, that's like his ONLY plan to conquer the kingdom."
Boomstick: "And most of the time he chooses the fight Mario on a bridge above lava... in which a button to destroy said bridge is right behind him."
Shows and example of this.
Boomstick: "Dumbass."
Wizard: "And while he is more athletic than he appears, Bowser's speed and weight can still give him a lack of mobility."
Boomstick: "But then again, when you're a ten-foot tall fire-breathing lizard bent on domination, you don't need to do a lot of moving."
Cuts to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show.
King Koopa: "Like my grandfather Poopa La Koopa always said: Cheat, beat, and be merry!"
Intermission[]
Wizard: "All right, the combatatants are set. It's time to end this debate once and for all!"
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
The Battle[]
The camera zooms in through the fortress' window. Inside, it reveals Kaos in the throneroom, with Princess Peach being held by her elbows by two drow.
Kaos: "HAHAHAHAHAHA! So, princess, would you have the great honor of becoming a queen? My queen, together ruling your kingdom under the awesome iron fist, of KAOS!"
Peach: (Forces elbows out of drow's hands) "I'll have you know that you aren't the first villain to try this scheme. And I'm positive you'll also fall into the same routine."
Kaos: "Oh, is that so, miss Peach? Your precious Mario brothers coming to save the day? Because last I heard, they're both DEAD! From some super-speedy pathetic animals, none the less! And seeing as how both of your rescuers have met their fate, you simply have no choice!"
Peach: "Oh, yes I do! And I will never even consider marrying you!"
Kaos: "So... I'll take that as a maybe? Until then... Drow, take her to the dungeon to think it over."
The drow grab Peach again and drag her away. Glumshanks comes into the room.
Glumshanks: "Um, sir, there uh, appears to be some odd ships circling our fortress."
Kaos: "Oh, let me guess, the Sky-losers are here to thwart my evil-"
The wall is suddenly blasted down.
Kaos: "EH? Hey, who DARES blow down the walls of KAOS?"
Bowser: "So YOU'RE the guy I'm lookin' for!"
Kaos: "Huh?"
Reveals one of Bowser's airships stationed in the giant hole left in the wall. Bowser reveals himself on the airship, looking none to happy.
Kaos: (Groans) "Glumshanks, call the repair man AGAIN. I'll deal with this... whoever he is."
Glumshanks: "Uh... o-okay, sir..." (Leaves)
Bowser leaps from his airship and into the fortress, leaving a loud thud, in which Kaos nearly loses his balance.
Bowser: "So, I heard someone OTHER THAN ME was kidnapping the princess. And apparently no one told you that's MY thing."
A Para-Koopa flies up to him.
Para-Koopa: "Uh, well, technically sire, you aren't the first villain to-"
Bowser: (Grabs the Para-Koopa by the neck) "No one asked for your opinion!" (To Kaos, still holding the Para-Koopa) "Now hand over the princess, pipsqueak!"
Kaos: "...HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, what a joke!" (Forms energy in his hands) "You REALLY think you stand a chance against a Dark Portal Master? You're nothing more than just a slow, idiotic turtle!"
Now Bowser's REALLY mad. So mad that he's unaware he's choking the Para-Koopa, who he then throws away behind him.
Bowser: "I am going to POUND YOU into NEXT WEEK, you little runt!"
FIGHT![]
Kaos summons the Trolls, Greebles, Broccoli Guys, and Drow to his side.
Kaos: "Then say hello to my MINIOOONS!"
Bowser: (In Super Mario Bros. Super Show voice) "Koopa pack, ATTACK!"
Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Hammer Bros., Lakitus, and Magikoopas all leap off the airships. The two armies run toward each other and begin fighting using their techniques. Meanwhile, Kaos and Bowser are facing off between the two of them.
Kaos: (Summons Doom Sharks) "Swim, my pretty Doom Sharks!"
Bowser stomps on the Doom Sharks, then inhales and launches a fireball at Kaos. Kaos narrowly dodges it, and then places an elemental disc beneath Bowser. It turns out to be Water element, and water falls down upon Bowser, though it barely phases him.
Bowser: "Grahahahahaha! Thanks for the shower, shorty!"
Kaos: "EH? Wait, that was supposed to hurt!"
Bowser: (Leaps at him) "You mean like THIS?"
Bowser punches Kaos, sending him flying into a wall.
Kaos: (Gets up) "No... More like" (Summons another elemental disc) "THIS!"
It turns out to be an Earth disc above Bowser. Bowser ducks into his shell as the disc slams down onto him, preventing damage. Kaos places another elemental disc, which Bowser jumps out of the way of as some Koopa Troopas approach it. It turns out to be an Undead disc, which turns the Koopa Troopas into Dry Bones and collapse.
It then cuts back to the armies fighting. Three Hammer Bros. throw their hammers at a Goliath Drow, which then charges at them. Seeing this, two of them leap out of the way while one of them gets hit and sent flying. Greebles and Koopa Troopas are getting into slap-fights, a Troll Warrior smashes a Goomba with it's mace, and in the background Kaos and Bowser are still battling. A Goomba rams into a cannon Greeble from behind and knocks it out. The Goomba celebrates until a Broccoli Guy revives the Greeble. The Goomba runs off as the Greeble shoots cannonballs at it. A Magikoopa then hits the Broccoli Guy with a spell. Spiny eggs rain down on the Drow, thrown by a Lakitu.
Back with Bowser and Kaos, Bowser is spitting fireballs at Kaos, who manages to dodge them. Kaos places another elemental disc down. It turns out to be a Magic disc, which does nothing.
Kaos: "Ah! Darn it!"
Bowser then runs in and tries to deal punches to Kaos, who manages to avoid them still. Kaos summons places another disc behind Bowser, and it turns out to be a Tech disc that explodes, knocking Bowser forward. Kaos summons more Doom Sharks. Bowser stands up and spins in his shell, bowling down the Doom Sharks and rolling toward Kaos. Kaos places another elemental disc down. It turns out to be an Air disc, which lifts Bowser up into the air and stops his attack. It then slams him down into the ground.
Kaos: "Just too slow! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Bowser: (Growls and stands up) "How about you keep that hole on your head SHUT?"
Kaos: "Head? What a great idea!" (Transforms into his giant head form) "Now, FEAR ME!"
Bowser: "...Fear you? You look ridiculous!"
Kaos: "WHAT? HOW DARE YOU! MY HEAD IS AWESOME!"
Bowser grabs a Koopa Troopa from his army and stuffs it into it's shell.
Kaos: "YOU WILL FEAR MY EVIL, FLOATING-" (Gets hit by the Koopa's shell) "OW!"
Bowser: "Just shut up already!"
Kaos starts shooting lasers at Bowser. First few narrowly miss him. He then ducks to his shell, which manages to protect him. Bowser finally leaps up and latches onto Kaos' head. He starts scratching at it before Kaos uses his scream attack and knocks him off. Kaos fires another eye laser and hits Bowser. He manages to stand up from the attack.
Kaos: (Reverts back) "Okay, how about this?" (Summons Doom Sharks) "More Doom Sharks!"
Bowser leaps over the Doom Sharks and behind Kaos. Before Kaos can react, Bowser drop-kicks him and launches him through the ceiling. Bowser looks over and sees his army being defeated by Kaos'. After the last Goomba is squashed, the army turns their sights toward Bowser and run toward him. Bowser roars and begins fighting the army. Back with Kaos, he flies through a hole in the roof and lands. Kaos groans and stands up. He then looks forward and notices a cluster of Traptanium in front of him.
Kaos: "Traptanium! I forgot I kept a stash up here."
Kaos rubs his hands, then fires lightning bolts from his hands at the Traptanium. He absorbs the energy in the crystals, and his skin starts turning purple and his eyes turn orange. Kaos begins floating.
Kaos: "Yes, YES! That stupid turtle is going to be VERY sorry he chose to mess with KAOOOS!"
Back below, Bowser deals a punch to a Goliath Drow and sends it flying away. The rest of the army is either defeated or has retreated. Bowser then hears Kaos laughing and looks at the hole he left in the ceiling. Glumshanks comes into the room.
Glumshanks: "So, sir, the repair man said-"
Bowser leaps up, leaving an even bigger hole in the roof. Glumshanks looks up.
Glumshanks: "Uh..." (Into a phone) "How much extra would it be to add roofing?"
Bowser lands on the roof and looks around.
Bowser: "I know you're up here, you big-headed pipsqueak!" (As a shadow looms over him) "C'mon out! I'm not done with you!"
Bowser then notices the shadow and looks behind him. He is surprised when he sees Kaos in his Super Traptanium form (final phase, with the swords and wings).
Kaos: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Kaos slams one of his swords down into the ground, which Bowser narrowly dodges. Bowser then inhales and spits out multiple fireballs at Kaos, all which barely do anything.
Kaos: (Summons larger Doom Sharks) "DOOM SHARKS, I COMMAND THE!"
Bowser struggles, but manages to still avoid the Doom Sharks. Kaos then summons multiple Traptanium swords behind him and then sends them out flying. They all slash at Bowser very quickly, even shedding some blood. Kaos then summons a wave of dark energy, which knocks Bowser backward. Bowser almost flies off the building, but manages to grab ahold of the ledge and hang on. Bowser is panting heavily due to the damage he just took.
Kaos: "Oh, why don't you just give up already, you stupid turtle? I've clearly proven that I am the superior bad guy here! Of course, when it comes to yours truly, Kaos, there really is no competition!"
Bowser's anger boils up again. He then notices a Smash Ball floating around behind him. Bowser spits a fireball at the Smash Ball and breaks it, surrounding him with the Smash aura. Bowser laughs as he climbs back up onto the building.
Bowser: "Showtime!"
Bowser becomes a black silhouette that starts growing larger.
Kaos: "Eh?"
Soon, after forming the longer snout, sharper claws, teeth, and horns, and larger body frame, the black silhouette clears away to reveal Giga Bowser. Giga Bowser roars and then charges at Kaos.
Kaos: "Fear my DARK ENERGY!"
Kaos releases another dark energy wave, though Giga Bowser is only knocked back a few inches by it. Giga Bowser gets in close and starts clawing at Kaos. Kaos teleports behind him and summons more Traptanium swords, which slash at him quickly, but barely cut through his shell.
Kaos: "Uh... MORE DOOM SHARKS!"
More Doom Sharks do come, though Giga Bowser manages to stomp them flat. Giga Bowser finally grabs ahold of Kaos' crystal half. Kaos growls and then lifts his Traptanium swords high, slamming them down onto Bowser's back. Giga Bowser lifts his head up...
Kaos: "Wait! No, no, no-"
...and slams it into Kaos' crystal, breaking it and causing an energy explosion to come from it.
Kaos: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"
It then cuts to get the whole fortress in the shot, which explodes witha blast of white light. Peach and Glumshanks are seen falling from the explosion screaming. Fades out and in to reveal Bowser laying on the ground with the rubble of Kaos' fortress. Bowser wakes up and stands, then looks around. He then hears screaming and looks up to see Kaos, back to normal, falling out of the sky and landing on the ground. Kaos stands up.
Kaos: (Slurring) "Fear my... giant... evil... head..."
Bowser glares, then inhales deeply. He then spits out a large fireball at Kaos. It's a direct hit and explodes on contact. When the fire clears, all that's left is Kaos' now burnt robe. Bowser beats his chest.
Bowser: (Laughs) "I rule!"
K.O.![]
Boomstick: "Damn... I wish I woulda brought my video camera."
Wizard: "Kaos certainetly had the better and more varied army of the two. He also had much more up his sleeves in terms of magical powers. Unfortunately for him, Bowser's weight, bulk, and pure raw power could allow him to easily take on anything Kaos could throw at him."
Boomstick: "And in terms of final forms, Giga Bowser may not get that many new abilities, but he's able to take on powerful blows without even flinching."
Wizard: "And while the King of Koopas may not be the most creative when it comes to evil schemes, he is smarter than Kaos, though really that isn't saying much."
Boomstick: "In the end, Kaos got burned."
Wizard: "The winner is Bowser."
Author's Note[]
Hey, AdamGregory03 here. Look, sorry I didn't post this earlier back when I had the idea to do this one. I didn't think anyone was really interested in my battles after The Thing vs. Garnet. But even if they aren't, I'll continue to post my own "What-If?" Death Battles both here and on deviantArt, and I only hope you people all enjoy them.