| Justice League Battle Royale | |
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| Season 1, Episode 7 | |
Vital statistics
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| Air date | October 3, 2015 |
| Written by | Shrek-it Ralph |
| Directed by | Shrek-it Ralph |
Episode guide
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| Previous | Next |
| Freddy Krueger VS Scarecrow | Jeff the Killer VS The Joker |
JLA Battle Royale is a What if? Death Battle
Description[]
The JLA has taken down plenty of foes, but their greatest enemies just so happen to be each other! Which JLA member is deadliest?
Beginning[]
Wiz: The JLA is a powerful group in the DC universe which was ripped off by Marvel to make the Avengers.
Boomstick: But today, we're going to see who's the most powerful out of this bunch!
Wiz: Superman, the Man of Steel
Boomstick: Batman, the Dark Knight
Wiz: Wonder Woman, hero of Themyscira
Boomstick: And Flash, the fastest man alive. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills and find out who would win a Death Battle.
Batman[]
Boomstick: Do we really have to do Batman again?
Wiz: Well, we could always do the alternative.
Boomstick: Check out Batman's previous battle for his anaylsis guys, and let's move on.
Wiz: OK, then.
Superman[]
Wiz: Born on Planet Krypton, Superman was sent to earth by his parents before the destruction of his planet.
Boomstick: And the countless rip offs of this origin story!
Wiz: Superman was founded on earth by the Kents, who named his Clark. After discovering he was a Krypotnian, he created mental blocks in his head for several years.
Boomstick: He eventually broke this blocks after brutal training with Mongul II.
Wiz: Superman is very fast, very strong, and very intelligent. He has plenty of abilities, including Heat Vision, which shoots lasers at his foe, but drains the most energy out of all of his moves.
Boomstick: Freeze Breath freezes the foe for a short time, and he can also blow them away with a gust of wind.
Wiz: The Infinite Mass Punch is a powerful punch capable of destroying planets and is equivalent to 10 octillion Megatons, but uses a lot of his energy.
Boomstick: He also learned pressure points from Batman, hand to hand from Wonder Woman, Psychic Blocks from MM and Boxing with the Wildcat. And people think Superman is weak without all of his superpowers!
Wiz: You see, Superman gains all of this from the Sun. However, a Red Sun will hurt him and a Blue Sun will increase his power.
Boomstick: But as we all know, Superman's got a plethora of weaknesses, like the infamous Kryptonite, discovered by his archenemy Lex Luthor.
Wiz: He is also weak to magic, and constantly relies on the Sun for power.
Boomstick: But as we learned from Goku, you shouldn't fuck with the Man of Steel.
Superman: I feel like I live in a world made out of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something, to break someone. What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose and show you just how powerful I really am.
Wonder Woman[]
Wiz: Diana of Themyscira is the Princess of the Amazon and was the daughter of Queen Hippolyta. She is blessed with the attributes of the goddesses.
Boomstick: But, when Diana let Themyscira for a time, she learned of the outside world after helping Steve Trevor.
Wiz: She began to learn how to switch through Earth and Themyscira over time, and that's basically it for origin story.
Boomstick: Wonder Woman has powers from Gods, like from Demeter, where she gets her superhuman strength, superhuman durability and resistance to magic.
Wiz: The power of Hermes give WW the ability to fly at Mach 5, have faster reflexes than Superman and can run up to Hypersonic.
Boomstick: She also has plenty of other stuff, but it's pretty useless.
Wiz: Her most famous weapon is the Lasso of Truth, forged by Hephaestus and makes people tell the truth.
Boomstick: Her Tiara can be used as a boomerang and can cut through almost anything.
Wiz: And her Wrist Gauntlets can block bullets, projectiles and can shoot lightning.
Boomstick: She has kept up with Superman, defeated all the women in DC, and almost defeated Darkseid once.
Wiz: But she is very flawed. She constantly cares more about people than about her and was once defeated by Batman in a fight.
Boomstick: You've got to be kidding me?!
Wiz: I wish I was.
WW: Let's see you smile now.
Flash[]
Wiz: Considering they are plenty of versions of Flash, we will be using the Barry Allen version for this fight.
Boomstick: Considering how OP Wally West is.
Wiz: Barry was a former Forensic Scientist who was soon of a cop. After proving his dad innocent, his machine, STAR Labs, exploded, causing Barry to become the Fastest Man Alive...well, of the DC universe.
Boomstick: Flash, as you know, is EXTREMELY fast. He is faster than a Attosecond. And that's basically all of his powers.
Wiz: Flash has tied against Superman in a race before, and is a founding member of the Justice League.
Boomstick: There's not a lot to talk about Barry, is there?
Wiz: Not really.
Flash: My name is Barry Allen. And I am the fastest man alive.
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Death Battle[]
(I don't know how to make these four actually hate each other enough to fight, so just roll with it.)
Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the Flash get into their stances in Gotham City.
FIGHT!
Superman flies at Batman, while WW and Flash duke it out. Superman is rapidly beating the crap out of Batman, and knocks him into a building with his Heat Vision, knocking Batman down.
Batman: I've been preparing for this day, Clark.
Batman throws a piece of Kryptonite at Superman, causing Superman to fall on his knees. WW sees this and decides to help.
WW: Don't worry Clark, I'll help you!
WW pulls out her Lasso of Truth and pulls Batman over with it. She then manage to hang Batman on a post, killing the Dark Knight.
BATMAN DEFEATED!
Remaining Combatants:
- Superman
- Flash
- WW
WW gives Superman a helping hand, and they are about to kiss, but Flash intervenes and pummels Wonder Woman into a building.
Flash: You're too slow, Diana!
Wonder Woman kicks Flash back, but Flash dodges and throws Wonder Woman into a trash can. WW gets out and throws her Tiara at Flash. Flash easily dodges and uses enough power and speed to crack WW's head open with a single punch.
WONDER WOMAN DEFEATED!
Remaining Combatants:
- Superman
- Flash
Superman: Barry, how could you?!
Flash: Clark, she attacked me, and so did you, so I'm afraid it's time for you to die.
Flash runs at Superman, but Superman sees this coming and freezes Flash with his breath. He then starts swinging the icicle around and throws it into a mountain.
Flash breaks free and is hurled into the ground by a blow from Superman.
Flash is very tired and bleeding, but manages to sweep Superman off his feet with a kick.
Flash: Any last words?
Superman: I was just about to ask you the same thing.
Superman then dodges a few punches from Flash and hits Barry with the Infinite Mass Punch, knocking Flash far into space, causing Flash to suffocate and die.
FLASH DEFEATED!
Combatants Remaining
- Superman
Superman: I'm sorry guys. I really am.
Superman then flies to the Fortress of Solitude, where he promises to never fight crime ever again.
KO!
Conclusion[]
Boomstick: I saw this coming from a mile away!
Wiz: Superman had easily outclassed all the other members of the Justice League, not only through strength, speed, durability and intelligence, and that he was just too much for them.
Boomstick: Batman was taken down first due to having no superpowers, leaving him helpless.
Wiz: WW died next due to being slower than Flash and Superman, and that her abilities weren't very effective in this fight.
Boomstick: And finally, Flash died last due to being easily outclassed in everything except speed, where they tied in.
Wiz: Also, even if Batman's Kryptonite would have worked, WW and Flash would most likely help Superman due to being the JLA's leader, and help him kill Batman.
Boomstick: Superman was just out of their League.
Wiz: The winner is Superman, and Happy Veteran's Day Everyone.
Trivia[]
- This is Shrek-it's first and probably last Battle Royale
- This is also the second time Batman loses, the first time being Batman VS Wolverine